March is a time of strength, reflection, and rebirth for the collective. March and the majority of April are the only months of 2022 with zero retrogrades. Meaning, if you want to make something happen, or at least get the ideas together and put the plans in motion, this is the month to do it. March is all about the mountains you have climbed, and the nice view at the top you are seeing now. Take time with your growth, reflect on all you have learned thus far this year, and know that things are moving forward right now.
The Sun and Moon both come together in Pisces on March 2 for the New Moon in Pisces. This is a New Moon of emotional renewal for the world, and emotions will be running high. Pisces is also a highly creative, intuitive, and spiritual sign, and the energy of the month has a dash of fantasy to it, especially during this New Moon. Get in touch with your inner child, create from the heart, and daydream about the fresh starts you want to see unfold this month. Venus and Mars move into Aquarius a few days later where they will remain until April, and love knows no bounds right now. Clear communication, light-heartedness, and an open mind are what the vibe is during this transit, as Venus and Mars in Aquarius seek to liberate.
Mercury enters Pisces on March 9, and communications are colored in emotion for the time being. Mercury in Pisces is all about creativity and communicating from the heart. Deep insights and an active dream life are what this time is all about for the collective, and it’s best to keep things transparent right now. By mid-month on March 18, there is a Worm Moon in Virgo, and this Full Moon is here to clean house. Virgo is the healer, the multi-tasker, and the wise Goddess. She comes in when we need it the most, and this Full Moon is here to heal and bring things into order.
Aries Season begins a few days later, as well as the Spring Equinox and the beginning of the Astrological New Year, and we are moving through a time of rebirth in March overall.
Aries
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleIn March you are on a new vision quest, Aries. The month starts with the Sun in your 12th house of rejuvenation and reflection as we near your Solar Return later this month. The theme with you in March is one of self-discovery. You are broadening your horizons this month and looking beyond what you currently know now. This is a soul replenishing month for you as you bring attention to your inner world, your perspective right now, and the opportunities that are appearing for you this month.
On March 18, there is a Full Moon in Virgo, and this Full Moon will be influencing your working life, health habits, and daily routine. Culminations occur when it comes to what’s been happening on the day-to-day, and you get the clarity you have been looking for over the past month here. The beginning of the month is all about rest and renewal, and moving into March you are getting things done. Aries Season begins on March 20, and it’s your time to shine! Aries Season marks the beginning of the Astrological Calendar, and if you had a rough start to 2022, now is the time to claim your new beginnings, Aries.
Taurus
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleMarch is all about balance and trusting the process for you, Taurus. You are doing some reflection this month as you acknowledge how far you have come, and prepare for what is next for you. The month starts with a New Moon in Pisces on March 2, and you are seeing new beginnings within your community, friendships, and social network right now. This is a good time to set your intentions for who you want to collaborate with this year and the message you want to get across.
Moving into March, you are reaching new heights. Through the time you got for self-reflection, rejuvenation, and dedication to the process, you find yourself moving forward with new opportunities mid-month. The Full Moon happening on March 18 is occurring in fellow earth sign Virgo, and occurring in a romantic and playful area of your birth chart. Things are feeling good right now, and you are inspired by the full circle moments you are getting this month. March is here to remind you you are not alone, you are loved, and you deserve to be recognized for your greatness, Taurus.
Gemini
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleMarch is a time of healing, strength, and allowing yourself to shine, Gemini. The New Moon on March 2 is happening in a public area of your birth chart, and the spotlight is on you as you enter the month. Career matters take the forefront during this time and you get the opportunity to speak on what you know and grow stronger in your understanding of your soul purpose. The path you are on this month is one of strength, wisdom, and conviction to your personal truths.
Mars and Venus enter fellow air sign Aquarius on March 6, and this transition flows well with your insightful soul. As Mars and Venus move through your 9th house of adventure, travel, spirituality, and the higher mind you have full reign to move forward with all of the adventures and vocations you have been intending for. Although the time for healing, replenishment, and peace of mind is needed this month; you are overall seeing your intentions, goals, and spiritual inklings through in March, Gemini.
Cancer
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis is your time of emergence, Cancer. The energy that is with you this month is one of synergy. With the Sun flowing through a fellow water sign for most of the month, you are experiencing an emotional renewal right now. The New Moon at the beginning of the month is a good time to expand your horizons and say yes to new opportunities. A new perspective has been born from what you’ve already experienced this year, and you are rising above any past confusion and into clarity in March. Your power of manifestation is strong right now, Cancer.
Moving into the month, there is a Full Moon in your 3rd house of communication on March 18, and the Sun moves into an area of your chart that has to do with your career and public image a few days later. The message is clear this month, and you are getting yours across. You are inspired by the personal transformations you have been through recently, and claiming your power right now. March is all about making your voice heard and the vision come to life, Cancer.
Leo
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleMarch is your month of rebirth, Leo. You have been through a journey of soul growth, and have been learning a lot through your relationships with others recently. With a New Moon in your 8th house of intimacy as the month begins, you are exploring the depths of your love, intimacy, and dedication to what’s blooming for you right now. With Mars and Venus moving into Aquarius and your 7th house of relationships, love, and marriage on March 6, the focus on nurture, balance, and hope is with you right now. You are motivated by the partnerships in your life and feeling the love this month.
The Worm Moon on March 18 is moving through your house of finances, income, assets, and self-esteem, and this is a good time to look at the balance within your spending and clear up anything that needs to be sorted. Confidence, self-assurance, and faith are key as you move into March. The patience and grace you have shown yourself are showing fruition for you this month. Fortunate circumstances appear when you can allow all to be and trust that you deserve the best for yourself, always, Leo.
Virgo
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleMarch is a time of paving your path and seeking out your new horizons, Virgo. You are spending time within, with your loved ones, and with the light that you are experiencing in your life right now. There is a New Moon in your 7th house of love right as you enter the month, and new beginnings within your romantic world are occurring for you now. This is a good time to set your intentions for love and to trust what partnership opportunities are coming together for you in March. Say yes to love, Virgo.
The Virgo Full Moon of the year is happening this month, and it’s occurring on March 18. This Full Moon is all about your personal growth and closing out a major chapter of your life. You are letting go of old stories or versions of yourself you no longer relate to and shedding the light on who you are today. This is a powerful Full Moon for you as one cycle of life transforms from an ending into a new beginning. You have done the work, continued to show up for yourself even when at times you’ve had to stand alone, and you are ready to move forward now, Virgo.
Libra
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleSeek out your sanctuaries this month, Libra. March is about getting back to the basics and taking things one day at a time. It’s all about flow right now and finding a schedule or routine that works best for you. The New Moon at the beginning of the month is reminding you of the importance of a routine, and this is a good time to set new intentions for health and working matters. Your everyday life is the focus right now, and when this is good, all else falls into place for you.
As you spend time connecting to your safe spaces and what feels right for you this month, you are finding a way through anything that has kept you feeling stuck. Doors are opening for you, and you are taking the time weighing your options like the balanced Libra you are. Before Aries season begins and the Sun moves into your sister sign and into an area of your chart having to do with partnership and love; there is a Full Moon in your 12th house tying up any loose ends before the real fun begins. Release, renewal, and emotional clarity are where your heart is, Libra.
Scorpio
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleMarch is all about flowing through life effortlessly and letting things fall into place, Scorpio. Romance is in the air for you as you begin the month with a New Moon in a fellow water sign, Pisces, on March 2. This New Moon is moving through your 5th house of self-expression, playfulness, romance, and flirtation. Things are getting exciting for you in March, and you are setting the tone right now for the experiences you want to have and the love you want to feel this year. Give and receive freely, and allow yourself to be moved by the excitement and hope of it all right now.
This month is all about the stepping stones you have made to get you to where you are today, Scorpio. Peace of mind is priceless, and you have cashed in on these treasures of life. The Virgo Full Moon on March 18 is highlighting your friendships and community, and the faith that is with you this month is undeniable. You are an inspiring force for others and your light is being recognized within your connections, Scorpio. The Sun moves into your 6th house before the month ends, and you are taking care of business right now.
Sagittarius
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis is a month of radiance for you, Sagittarius. You are owning your light, and shining in all of your glory in March. Life is coming full circle for you this month and there are happy culminations in store for you right now. At the beginning of the month, there is a focus on home, family, and your foundations, and this is a good time to plant the seeds for what you want to grow here right now. Your security systems are in focus, and the things that bring you a sense of stability and safety are what you are resonating with right now.
The Full Moon on March 18 is highlighting your career, professional life, reputation, and achievements, and you are seeing some working projects come full circle this month. This is the time to release anything that hasn’t been serving you within your career and to focus on what fulfilling your purpose means to you right now. Once the Sun moves into a fellow fire sign and Aries Season begins on March 20, you are blazing forward and into your dreams. This is the month of finding your happiness and making it a priority to do more of the things that get you in this space of gratitude, Sag.
Capricorn
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleMarch is all about getting your ducks in a row. You love to be organized, and you are taking some time to sort things out right now, Capricorn. The New Moon in Pisces on March 2 is occurring in your 3rd house of communication, transportation, and local community, and you are receiving some important messages at the beginning of the month. The focus is on new beginnings for you right now, and you are clearing the air. As Mars and Venus move into your 2nd house a week later, you are thinking long-term this month and setting up plans for yourself and your future success.
The Full Moon in Virgo happening on March 18 is all about perspective. Life is coming full circle, and you are getting the full picture right now and seeing how everything has fallen into place for you. You are known for your strength, dedication, and resilience, and sometimes you need to be reminded of how great you are. March is giving you those realizations. There is a Last Quarter Moon in your sign on March 25 and you are reflecting on the intentions you set at the beginning of the month and moving forward here.
Aquarius
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleJust because your season is over, doesn’t mean the light stops shining on you, Aquarius. March is a month of transformation and personal empowerment, as you rise and show up for yourself. There is a lot of magic with you this month with Venus and Mars both moving into Aquarius on March 5 for the entire month. Venus is love and receptivity, and Mars is passion and energy; the two combining in your sign is bringing forth a nice balance in your life. You are especially motivated right now with a lot of energy at your disposal, and with Venus officially in your sign, you are feeling the love this month, Aquarius.
You are like the lotus blooming this month, and you are moving out of any muddy waters. The Full Moon on March 18 is transiting your 8th house of intimacy, life, death, and rebirth, and the transformations you are seeing this month are bringing you closer to your soul. You are ready to renew, liberate, and define your path moving forward. Aries season begins before the month ends and the Sun moves into an area of your chart having to do with communication, publication, and daily activity; and you are getting things done as the month winds down.
Pisces
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecolePisces season is in full swing and the spotlight is on you, Pisces. This month brings with it full circle moments, happy outcomes, and the realization that there is gold at the end of the rainbow for you. As life ebbs and flows with the energy of your ocean soul this month, you are being made clear of what your priorities and needs are, and what you truly want to see in your life right now. There is a New Moon in your sign as the month begins, and you are seeing personal new beginnings and a new understanding of self. This month is all about you, your divine path, your intentions, and the courage to be your authentic self. You are reinventing yourself right now, Pisces.
On March 9, Mercury enters Pisces, and communication channels are opening for you right now. March is a good time to get your ideas heard, have some important conversations, and gain a new perspective. The Full Moon on March 18 is happening in your sister sign, Virgo, and this Full Moon is all about love, relationships, and emotional renewal for you. Life comes full circle in love, and you are moving forward with the relationships that have only grown stronger in the process, Pisces.
Featured image by Kyra Jay for xoNecole
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Yep, me. Little ole’ never-been-married-before me. Yeah, y’all better quit letting people tell you what you’re called to do in this world. That is between you and the One who made you.
Okay, but let me stay on track. When it comes to the engaged couples specifically, who have crossed my path, something that I believe I’ve said to each and every one of them (especially the bride-to-be) is — “You better enjoy every single minute of your wedding day because you deserve a big ‘ole party for all of the work that you’re about to do.” And then I look at the woman as intensely as I can and say, “And you? Remember, you are a bride for a day. You are a wife for the rest of your life.”
Why do I emphasize that point so much? It’s because those two things are not one and the same. Hmph. Let me tell it, a huge reason why 70 percent of divorces are initiated by women, however, is because a lot of them think that it is. And so, in the effort to do my part to help make marriages last longer and cause the divorce rate to go down, I think it’s important for more women to ponder if they really want to be a wife — or if they just want to throw a big party (a wedding), go on a trip (a honeymoon) and not much more than that.
Buckle in. This one might be a bit of a ride (for some, at least).
It’s Time to Stop “Living for the Fairy Tale”
GiphyIf you’ve been reading my content for a while (and if so, thank you), it will not shock you in the least that I’ve spent many years studying the origins of things as they directly relate to marriage. I know that the engagement ring is not about love but about a jewelry company that was about to go bust. So, they came up with the slogan “A diamond is forever” and then made some serious bank from it (you can read about that here).
I know that white wedding dresses have nothing to do with purity and virtue; in fact, women in the Bible often wore lots of bright colors during their more-than-one-day wedding celebrations. Actually, white comes from Queen Victoria making it famous back in the 1840s. I also know that a lot of people were pretty obsessed with evil spirits back in the day because things like wearing a wedding veil and bridesmaids wearing the same dresses were all about hiding from said spirits. Another pretty popular wedding day tradition? Well, I’ll just let you read Insider’s “Here's the horrifying truth about why grooms carry brides across the threshold,” if you’re interested.
And as far as marriage goes, don’t even get me started on the whole “I’m living for the fairy tale” narrative that gets pushed incessantly. I’ve said in other articles before that "fairy tale" literally means “a story, usually for children, about elves, hobgoblins, dragons, fairies, or other magical creatures” and “an incredible or misleading statement, account, or belief.” Who wants to live for childish stories that are incredibly misleading? And the ones that have a character like Prince Charming in it? The Bible literally says that “charm is deceitful” (Proverbs 31:30).
Know what else the Bible says? It states that death and life are in the power of the tongue (Proverbs 18:21). So, what’s up with all of this wedding/marriage rhetoric that’s so popular and also, so… “silly” is the first word that comes to mind, “unrealistic” is the second and “unnecessary” is the third?
Why are there so many expectations, especially when it comes to the wedding day, that push folks to the point where a whopping 49 percent of couples end up going into debt right after jumping the broom — all because they wanted to live for the fairy tale and throw a big party that they basically couldn’t afford? SMDH.
It really is wild, just how much human nature tends to do things without even really knowing WHY it does it — even when it comes to marriage. And so, if you are someone who desires this type of union, be honest with yourself: what is your “why”?
When it comes to becoming a wife someday, WHY do you want to do that?
A man needing to spend three times his salary on an engagement ring, WHY?
When it comes to having a big traditional wedding, WHY is it necessary?
Marriage is a goal for you (and don’t get me wrong, marriage is a beautiful thing) — WHY is that the case?
When it comes to being married, WHY do you think it will better serve you than your single state?
Motivational speaker Eric Thomas once said, “When you find your ‘why’, you will find a way to make it happen.” And when it comes to something as big (and supposed to be lifetime lasting) as marriage, perhaps a big part of the reason WHY so many of them do not go the distance is because there aren’t enough “why” questions, on the front end, that are asked (which is why you should partake in premarital counseling before your wedding day). Oh, but there should be.
Because saying “why” you want a huge wedding is nothing more than “because I want to” or “why” you chose the man that you did is simply “I love him” — I’ve been doing this couples work thing long enough to assure you that those answers simply aren’t good enough. You need to know what it means to be a wife and why a marriage and a wedding are not the same thing…not by the longest country mile that you can imagine.
What It Means to Be a Wife
GiphyIf you’ve been reading my content for a while now, you know that I’m good for throwing some Scripture in; it’s a part of my foundation and I make no apologies for it. And so, when it comes to what it means to be a wife, the first word that’s used to define it in the Bible is “helpmate” (Genesis 2:18). A helpmate is a companion, a helper and someone who assists another individual — in this case, a husband.
While we’re here, a helper is not helping unless the help is actually needed and it’s good. Lawd, I can’t tell you how many wife clients I’ve had who have totally missed that part. So, what does “good help” look like?
- A good helper ASKS the person they are assisting what they need.
- A good helper does not try to control another person or make them do what they want.
- A good helper gets that needs can shift based on what is transpiring at any given time.
- A good helper makes things easier and less stressful.
- A good helper learns how to master good listening, effective communication, and wise timing.
And yes, in many ways, this is what it means to be a good wife. So, if you are someone who desires marriage, when it comes to what is required to be not just a wife but a GOOD WIFE, how much have you factored helping your man into the dynamic?
Not mothering him. Not bossing him around. Not trying to manipulate him into being a version of a husband that you would prefer. No, how much thought have you put into “Am I equipped to help another person be their best self? Am I ready to be supportive, encouraging, and nurturing? Was it even modeled to me, while growing up, to know what a proper helpmate looks like? Have I realized how much sacrifice goes into that type of role? Am I even selfless enough to be a consistent helper?”
I know this is probably gonna ruffle some feathers yet, you know something that I’m not big on? Women saying that their man should give them the “princess treatment.” Every time I hear that, the first thought that comes to my mind is “Fathers make their daughters princesses while men make their wives a queen” — and little girls are treated differently than grown women. And to that, Proverbs 12:4(NKJV) says, “An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones.”
My point? There is a MATURITY that is to come from going from princess to queen. A queen does have more privileges, yet, at the same time, she also has way more responsibility. It’s not about sitting around and being catered to all day long. Queens have work to do — and it’s not always comfortable or pretty. Same thing goes for being a wife.
Y’all, I could go on and on (and on and on and on) about what it means to be a wife in a marriage. For now, I’ll just end this part of the article with, “If you’re not ready to help, each and every day of your relationship, you’re not ready to be a wife.” Plain and simple.
Weddings Are Not Marriages (and Vice Versa)
GiphySo, why do so many people jump brooms (I’m writing this with Black folks in mind first; jumping brooms is for us only), only to turn around and get divorced a few years later? Oh, I could go on and on as well about how a lot of people don’t have much integrity when it comes to the promises that they make. Listen singles, when you’re dating someone, pay very close attention to whether the person you’re seeing keeps their word — and if you do the same.
It makes absolutely no sense to keep letting someone slide when it comes to reneging now, only to act shocked when they do the same thing after saying “I do.” And while we’re here, being a man or woman of your word is a character issue. Maybe folks are not strong in character when it comes to this.
Yet another reason why folks will get all dolled up, stand before God, family, and friends, look someone straight in the eye, and promise to never leave, only to do just that, is because many people honestly don’t see past their wedding (and maybe their newlywed years). That is why you will hear so many people describe their perfect wedding day, down to the last detail, and yet, if you ask what their five-year plan for their marriage is, they have absolutely not one clue.
I mean, I get it — to a certain extent. A wedding is a big party where you get to dress to the nines, have people come to celebrate you and you get to have everything go your way — down to the font on the programs and reception napkins. Oh, but what a “trick” that can be if you think that your marriage is going to move like that, all of the time, moving forward. I liken it to The Bachelor franchise. Who wouldn’t feel like they are falling for someone when they’re able to live in a mansion with no bills, have fantasy dates that cost thousands of dollars, and a big ole’ rock that a famed jeweler donates?
Meanwhile, folks should watchUnREAL (the television series from several years back where some former producers of the franchise talk about what really happens behind the scenes) to get a reality check. To a certain extent, the same thing goes for marriage: while weddings produce this belief that marriage will be one big party where everyone focuses on you and everything goes your way, that isn’t even close to being the reality of being married.
Honestly, the real deal is 1) if you don’t want to learn how to love on a supernatural level; 2) if you don’t want your strengths to be refined and your weaknesses to be challenged; 3) if you don’t want to be held accountable in ways that you would never be if you remained single; 4) if you don’t want to compromise on a daily basis and, 5) if you don’t want to be challenged to become a truly selfless individual — marriage isn’t for you.
You’d be far better off just throwing a big ass party for yourself, just because (and no, I don’t mean marry yourself; you are already “one” with you; no need for that), and call it a day. Spare yourself and another person the heartache of divorce because…divorce is A LOT to go through.
Lawd, I can only imagine how much drama could be spared if folks simply took into their spirit that weddings ARE NOT marriages and marriages ARE NOT weddings. Weddings are a party to celebrate your union — yet your union? That requires daily energy, effort, and time. It’s not a party. It’s a relationship. BIG DIFFERENCE.
Please Don’t Get Married Until You’re Sure That You Want…BOTH
GiphyAnd this is why, whenever someone tells me that they are going to get married, I don’t immediately respond with, “Congrats! That’s awesome.” NOPE. The very first thing that comes out of my mouth is something along the lines of, “For real. Why?” WHY? Because, it never fails that, about 7.5 times outta 10, folks will be caught off guard and say, “What do you mean ‘why’?” and then follow that up with, “Because I’m in love” or…they don’t really know what to say at all.
Is being in love a good answer? I mean, it explains why you picked the person that you did; it doesn’t really explain why you are choosing to commit to them for the rest of your life, on a marital level, though. Are you getting married because you know that the two of you will make each other better people? Are you getting married because you want to raise your children in a two-parent dynamic? Are you getting married for biblical reasons like wanting to love like Christ loves his bride (the Church and the Church sent him through A LOT — Ephesians 5)?
Are you getting married because you think you’ve gone as far as you can in your evolution as an individual without the assistance of another? Are you getting married because you want to serve another person as they do the same for you (perhaps not in the same ways because you’re both different people)?
Is that asking the most? Chile, that’s not asking enough. I don’t care how much people mock marriage in the media by changing partners like they change cars or homes. I don’t care how much divorce has been normalized. I don’t care how much folks like to act like a husband is a 2.0 boyfriend (it’s not) and having a wife is a 2.0 girlfriend (it’s not) — marriage is special, sacred, and needs to be honored as such. A wedding should be seen as a happy occasion where two people publicly acknowledge what I just said…not simply a time to get a lot of attention and presents only to come home and go from heaven to hell in six months.
And honestly, that’s a bit part of the reason why I do what I do: it’s because I actually think the covenant of marriage is SO MAGNIFICENT that I want to make sure that people know, as much as possible, what they are signing up for — not an endless wedding; a very real relationship that will challenge them and mature them like nothing else ever will in this lifetime.
____
This was a lot. I already know. Still, it beats spending thousands of dollars on a wedding to stand before a chaplain only to spend thousands of more dollars several years later on a divorce lawyer and therapy while standing before a judge.
Weddings are awesome; you’ll get no argument from me there. Still, I think if I was to narrow all of this down into one statement, it would simply be this: “When it comes to marriage, if the thought of being a wife doesn’t excite you more than being a bride — wait. You’re not ready yet.”
Thank me later, sis. YOU WILL.
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