Kamie Crawford Used The Power Of Manifestation To Snag A Gig As The Host Of 'Catfish'
Kamie Crawford is not only a TV host, model and former Miss Teen USA, she's also the stylish, cool, calm and collected homegirl bestie that everyone wishes they had in their day-to-day life.
Her positive personality and charming wit shines through in her new role as MTV's Catfish co-host alongside Nev Schulman. Coming from a background in content development for beauty, fashion and luxury lifestyle brands from Swarovski, Lancôme, Dove, and Rent the Runway, Kamie's Catfish debut in front of the camera was nothing shy of the perfect fit for her love of pop culture and investigative journalism. When I asked her what word or phrase she would use to describe her new career turn, she simply replied, "My dream job."
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"I truly feel as though I was made for this position, and it's not to sound cocky – I just really love what I do and I love helping people and giving them my honest opinion," Kamie gushes about her new gig.
Being the oldest of six girls, giving nurturing sisterly advice is ingrained in her DNA - though it may be brutally honest, it always comes from a place of love and compassion. For any young woman who has been afraid to chase her dream job or make a career switch, Kamie advises to put action behind your desires and push the fear aside. "My mom always says, 'fear cancels out faith,'" she begins anecdotally. "If you want something and it's more than just an idea – it's a gnawing need that speaks to you every day when you wake up and before you go to sleep, what the f*ck are you waiting on?! You don't need an invitation to follow your dreams. You need action. So go for it, because one of the worst feelings in life is regret."
I had the opportunity and honor to speak with Kamie about all things Catfish set life, shutting down anxiety during the quarantine, and positively practicing stillness. Here's what she had to say.
Being the Hostess With the Mostest
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As a fan of the show since the original documentary's premiere at Sundance Film Festival, Kamie Crawford has been a faithful fan of the eight-season series and knew that the opportunity felt right from the beginning. Kamie practiced the art of manifestation and hard work to achieve her results, which were also sought after by other auditioning contenders for the role of Nev's new catfish-busting buddy.
Though she knew she had the credentials and the talent, like any other human being, her doubts and nerves came and went, but did not allow herself to be defeated by situations that had not yet arisen. "I didn't want to get my hopes up though because there were great hosts in the running for the position and after working in hosting for 7 years before this opportunity came about, you kind of learn to not get your hopes up in entertainment," Kamie explains.
"But something told me that this was my opportunity and if I wanted it, I needed to manifest it and speak life into it."
The life of this body positive advocate on-set varies depending upon the episode, as one would expect, but she enjoys every moment of being in her manifested destiny, from chilling with Nev and the gang to reading emails from their newest hopeful. "Everything you see as you watch an episode is in the order as it happened and in 'real-time'. There are no reshoots," she explains. "We will film for 7 hours per day and if travel is necessary, we will spend a day doing that and pick back up with filming in our new destination. Each episode takes around 3-5 days to film, depending and it's never boring."
It's not all work and no play, though. Kamie goes onto talk about cherishing the bonding moments between herself, Nev and the rest of the team between takes. "We typically will start at our production offices and film as we hang out, eat breakfast, etcetera. We like to make time for crew dinners and fun activities during the evenings – if I'm not fast asleep post-filming, I'm with Nev and the crew hanging out!"
Embracing the Slow Life
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Unfortunately, due to the COVID-19 pandemic sweeping the nation and large crowds being forbidden, stay-at-home orders have greatly affected those in the entertainment industry requiring shoots, reunion filmings and audience gatherings. For Kamie, a woman who is constantly on-the-go between creating dope content and being one of MTV's newest faves to hit the screen, quarantine has been a hit or miss for her newly adjusted style of living. "It has been really hard. [It's] definitely getting better though, and there are good days and bad days! I'm a homebody as is so I try to take time off for myself in between all of my work responsibilities. While I have zero routine in my quarantine life, my normal life is actually very routine," Kamie describes.
Most of us, especially as creatives, are teetering between thankful thoughts of resting everyday and being ansty from developing stage one of stir crazy, Kamie is strategically utilizing her time indoors to practice stillness throughout the government issued stay-at-home orders. While a lot of us, myself included, are using this time to shove everything into this quarantine period that we never had time for prior to, Kamie believes that everyone should just do what's best for them and not fall victim to the pressures of social media. "Even outside of quarantine, social media will make you believe that everyone is busier, more fit, more beautiful and more motivated than you are. Everyone is perfect and they have the handbook for 'How to Deal with Quarantine During A Pandemic' that the rest of us just didn't get. Trust me - I checked my mailbox – twice. It ain't in there," Kamie facetiously adds.
"There is so much pressure right now to be your best self during quarantine and accomplish all of the big and little tasks you put off up until now. I'm a person who if it doesn't feel good to me, I'm not doing it. As a Scorpio - I'm either all in, or I'm out. That's how I feel about creating during this time. It just doesn't feel right. I've postponed campaigns because advertising anything right now that doesn't directly benefit those who are suffering or our essential workers gives me the ick. No shade to anyone who is – I know influencers still have to work and earn a living, but for me, that just isn't where my heart is right now."
Mastering the Art of Self-Care
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When she's not mastering her new craft in the kitchen, Kamie takes time to turn her attention to work obligations, but fortunately, none of which require immediate responses or assistance. Clearing out her inbox one email at a time is a small form of self-care that she integrates into her newly acclimated work from home routine. "[I've been] sending a lot of, 'Sorry for the delayed response, been taking time away for my mental health' replies – and I think people understand because everyone is dealing with the same thing right now. "
When it comes down to a 'routine' for working from home, I think we can all safely admit that none of us have the exact formula that works for us everyday. Kamie herself admits that taking everything day-by-day and taking care of her mental health is a priority during the quarantine, even if it means praying, crying, watching Netflix as soon as she wakes up or all of the above. "Each day is different and I try to go into each morning with a refreshed and positive outlook. I want to try staying away from the news updates, but I also feel that knowledge is power. It's just difficult because the news changes every hour it seems like," Kamie tells me.
"I've been giving myself permission to wake up naturally, which helps a lot during this chaotic time. Sometimes the body's best way of healing is through resting. I'm not going to lie – I've been getting out of bed when I feel like it and just taking it from there. If I want to work out or go for a walk, I'll do that. If I want to lay in bed and watch funny Tik Toks until 2pm, I'll do that. I haven't gotten into the habit of creating a 'routine' during this quarantine yet, and I'm perfectly fine with that as of now."
Her mental health takes precedence and priority as she combats the anxiety linked to the pressures of "staying on top" everyday, even with our limited resources. "My anxiety has been through the roof, but I notice that it worsens when I'm being told or made to feel like I'm not doing enough," Kamie confides in the interview, as are most of us being pressured into feeling, thanks to our dear friend Imposter Syndrome. "If you're going through something similar, I recommend unfollowing that account for now or telling that person, 'Hey, I know you mean well and appreciate your suggestion because that's what works for you. I'm going to focus on doing whatever works for me at this time.'"
For those of us who haven't necessarily put ourselves, including mind and spirit, on the forefront of our agenda, now is the time to monitor your mental health. "So much is happening in the world, and for people who have already been struggling with mental health issues, this time can be even more triggering. I've been waking up each morning and thanking God for letting me see another day, keeping my loved ones safe and healthy, thanking Him for my health and just acknowledging the fact that I am OK, and that's a blessing within itself," she praises.
For more of Kamie, follow her on Instagram.
Featured image courtesy of Kamie Crawford
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For Us, By Us: How HBCU Alumni Are Building Legacies Through Entrepreneurship
Homecoming season is here, and alumni are returning to the yard to celebrate with their friends and family at the historically Black colleges and universities (HBCUs) that have changed their lives forever.
No matter where their life journeys have taken them, for HBCU students from near and far, returning to where it all started can invoke feelings of nostalgia, appreciation for the past, and inspiration for the future.
The seeds for these entrepreneurs were planted during their time as students at schools like Spelman, North Carolina A&T, and more, which is why xoNecole caught up with Look Good Live Well’s Ariane Turner, HBCU Buzz’s Luke Lawal and Morehouse Senior Director of Marketing and Comms and Press Secretary Jasmine Gurley to highlight the role their HBCU roots play in their work as entrepreneurs, the legacy they aim to leave behind through the work that they do, and more as a part of Hyundai’s Best In Class initiative.
On Honoring HBCU Roots To Create Something That Is For Us, By Us
Ariane Turner
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When Ariane Turner launched Look Good, Live Well, she created it with Black and brown people in mind, especially those with sensitive skin more prone to dryness and skin conditions like acne and eczema.
The Florida A&M University graduate launched her business to create something that addressed topical skin care needs and was intentional about its approach without negative terminology.
Turner shared that it is important to steer clear of language often adopted by more prominent brands, such as “banishing breakouts” or “correcting the skin,” because, in reality, Turner says there is nothing wrong with the way that our skin and bodies react to various life changes.
“I think what I have taken with me regarding my HBCU experience and translated to my entrepreneurial experience is the importance of not just networking,” Turner, the founder and CEO of Look Good, Live Well, tellls xoNecole.
“We hear that in business all the time, your network is your net worth, but family, there’s a thing at FAMU that we call FAMU-lee instead of family, and it’s very much a thing. What that taught me is the importance of not just making relationships and not just making that connection, but truly working on deepening them, and so being intentional about connecting with people initially, but staying connected and building and deepening those relationships, and that has served me tremendously in business, whether it’s being able to reach back to other classmates who I went to school with, or just networking in general.”
She adds, “I don’t come from a business background. As soon as I finished school, I continued with my entrepreneurial journey, and so there’s a lot of that traditional business act and the networking, those soft skills that I just don’t have, but I will say that just understanding how to leverage and network community and to build intentional relationships is something that has taken me far and I definitely got those roots while attending FAMU.”
On Solving A Very Specific Need For The Community
Luke Lawal Jr.
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When Luke Lawal Jr. launched HBCU Buzz, his main focus was to represent his community, using the platform to lift as they climbed by creating an outlet dedicated to celebrating the achievements and positive news affecting the 107 historically HBCUs nationwide.
By spotlighting the wonderful things that come from the HBCU community and coupling it with what he learned during his time at Bowie State University, Lawal used that knowledge to propel himself as an entrepreneur while also providing his people with accurate representation across the internet.
“The specific problem in 2011 when I started HBCU Buzz was more so around the fact that mainstream media always depict HBCUs as negative,” Lawal says. “You would only see HBCUs in the mainstream media when someone died, or the university president or someone was stepping down. It was always bad news, but they never shed light on all the wonderful things from our community."
So, I started HBCU Buzz to ensure the world saw the good things that come from our space. And they knew that HBCUs grew some of the brightest people in the world, and just trying to figure out ways to make sure our platform was a pedestal for all the students that come through our institutions.”
“The biggest goal is to continue to solve problems, continue to create brands that solve the problems of our communities, and make sure that our products, our brands, our companies, and institutions are of value and they’re helping our community,” he continues. “That they’re solving problems that propel our space forward.”
On How Being An HBCU Alum Impacts The Way One Shows Up In The World
Jasmine Gurley
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Jasmine Gurley is a proud North Carolina Agricultural and Technical State University alum. She is even more delighted with her current role, which enables her to give back to current HBCU students as the Senior Director of Brand Marketing and Communications and official press secretary at Morehouse College.
“It was a formative experience where I really was able to come into my own and say yes to all the opportunities that were presented to me, and because of that, it’s been able to open the doors later in life too,” says Gurley of her experience at North Carolina A&T. “One thing I love about many HBCUs is that we are required to learn way more about African American history than you do in your typical K through 12 or even at the higher ed level."
She adds, “It allowed us to have a better understanding of where we came from, and so for me, because I’m a storyteller, I’m a history person, I’m very sensitive to life in general, being able to listen to the stories and the trials that our ancestors overcame, put the battery pack in my back to say, ‘Oh nothing can stop me. Absolutely nothing can stop me. I know where I came from, so I can overcome something and try anything. And I have an obligation to be my ancestors’ wildest dreams. Simultaneously, I also have a responsibility to help others realize that greatness.
Gurley does not take her position at an HBCU, now as a leader, lightly.
“People think I’m joking when I say I’m living the dream, but I really am,” she notes. “So I wake up every day and know that the work that I do matters, no matter how hard it might be, how frustrating it may be, and challenging it. I know the ripple effect of my work, my team, and what this institution does also matter. The trajectory of Black male experiences, community, history, and then just American advancement just in general.”
On the other hand, through her business, Sankofa Public Relations, Gurley is also on a mission to uplift brands in their quest to help their respective communities. Since its inception in 2017, Sankofa PR has been on a mission to “reach back and reclaim local, national, and global communities by helping those actively working to move” various areas of the world, focusing on pushing things forward for the better.
“Through Sankofa, we’ve worked with all different types of organizational brands and individuals in several different industries, but I would think of them as mission-based,” says Gurley.
“So with that, it’s an opportunity to help people who are trying to do good in the world, and they are passionate about what they’re doing. They just need help with marketing issues, storytelling, and branding, and that’s when my expertise can come into play. Help them get to that moment where they can tell their story through me or another platform, and that’s been super fulfilling.”
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
Feature image courtesy
There is definitely a particular client who inspired this piece. I’ve been working with her for a while now, and so I’m used to her basically complaining about how she isn’t experiencing the kind of sex that she longs for. Thing is, I pretty much always ask her some variation of the same question: “How can a man give you what you want if you don’t know exactly what that is?” to which she pretty much always sighs and then deflects.
Y’all, soap operas, rom-coms, romance novels, social media, and porn have done an excellent (or horrific, depending on how you look at it) job of causing people to think that a great lover should be a mind reader or that they should be willing to do more work to please their partner than their partner is willing to do to learn what actually does please themselves. And to that, I say, goodness, how do you expect a man to “know your body” when you barely even do? And no, I’m not talking about masturbation. There are many other ways to bond with yourself than that.
Today, I’m going to share eight ways to do it. Because, if you want to sexually connect with your partner in a truly pleasurable and fulfilling way, it’s always a good idea to become a student of your own self first — so that you can be the best kind of teacher (if you know what I mean).
1. Meditate
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There are literally countless reasons why you should implement meditating into your self-care routine. When it comes to sex, specifically, because it helps to reduce stress, relieve anxiety, keep you in the moment, and make you more self-aware — this is why meditation tops the list for today, especially since deep and controlled breathing is a big part of what meditating is all about.
And since taking more oxygen into your system helps to make climaxing easier, increase blood circulation (which can intensify orgasms), and relax your pelvic floor muscles (so that sex is ultimately more pleasurable) —yeah, if you want to have better sex, you’ve got to consider meditating more often.
2. Figure Out Your Favorite Erogenous Zone. Then Find a New One.
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I’m pretty sure you know what an erogenous zone is; however, just to be sure, it’s the parts of your body that are the most easily aroused as far as sexual stimulation goes. Although it’s assumed that places like our breasts and genitalia are the peak ones, the reason why I once wrote “So, What If 'Typical Erogenous Zones' Annoy TF Outta You?” for the site is because it can’t be assumed that “predictable spots” will work for everyone. In fact, some health experts believe that there are at least 30 different potential erogenous zones on our bodies, including our scalp, ears, palms, the lower part of our back, the back of our knees, and others.
That said, next time you are in the bathtub, use your fingertips to gently touch various parts of your body. Pay close attention to which ones feel the most pleasurable or even potentially turn you on; then take note so that you can share it with your partner the next time the two of you are together. Because listen, even when it comes to masturbation, if all you focus on is “her,” you are seriously limiting how truly gratifying sex can be by now…branching out to other parts of your body.
3. Dance. Naked.
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Even if you don’t like to dance in public, do you at least dance alone sometimes? If not, you definitely should because not only is dancing good for your heart and bones, but it’s also a fun way to burn a few calories, plus it can do wonders for your sex life. Why do I say that? It’s because dancing has also been proven to decrease stress (remember, the less stressed you are, the easier it will be for you to get aroused), build up your core (so that you can increase your stamina), make you more flexible and help you to feel more connected whenever you are around other people.
And if you dance naked, that can help to increase your sexual self-confidence (check out “10 Sensuous Ways To Boost Your Sexual Self-Esteem”) because the more comfortable you are with your body, the more comfortable you will be to share it with your partner.
4. Massage Yourself. Also Naked.
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Speaking of getting more comfortable with your body, when was the last time you indulged in a sensual self-massage? No, I’m not using that as another term for masturbation; I mean a literal body massage that you give yourself.
If you never have before, the next time you get out of the shower or bath, wrap yourself up in a towel, warm up a carrier oil (check out “So, Here Are The Carrier Oils That Will Take Your Sex Life To A Whole 'Nother Level”) with an aphrodisiac essential oil (check out “Ultimate Climax Hack? 10 Scents That Make It So Much Easier To Orgasm”) and then use your fingers or a set of massaging tools to massage your body, starting with your scalp and going all the way down to your feet.
Not only will this help to relax you, improve blood circulation, and bring more flexibility to your joints, self-massages are an effective way to give parts of your body that may not get a lot of TLC, the type of attention that they deserve — so that you can guide your own partner’s hands, lips, etc. to those very same spots…later on.
5. Make Sexy Sounds to Discover (More of) Your Sensuality
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If you’ve heard somewhere that most people hate to hear the sound of their own voice, there is actually some truth to that (by the way, if you turn your palms backward, push them behind your ears to move your ears forward and then say something, that is how others hear you on the phone, etc.). The science behind it is your voice travels through the air, which is known as air conduction. However, the way you hear the results vs. how others do can be very different — annoying even because it tends to translate as thinner and higher to your system.
This is a part of the reason why some people can be self-conscious about the sounds that they make during sex. Here’s the thing, though: Did you know that sounds like moaning can actually help to enhance your sexual experience, and panting can convey desire for your partner (check out “Ever Wonder What The Sounds You Make During Sex Mean?”)? There’s nothing wrong with making sex-related sounds by yourself so that you can get more comfortable with the sound of your own voice.
Let me tell it, a part of the reason why it may be awkward during sex is your “sex sounds” are unfamiliar to even you…because you’re not used to making (and hearing) them (enough).
6. Get into Some Naval Play
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Belly buttons are sexy — hell, at least, to me, they are. That’s why, when I did some reading up on navel play, it made all of the sense in the world that it should be added to this article. For starters, there are a lot of nerve endings around that part of your body; so much, in fact, that some women even say that their clitoris is stimulated whenever their belly button/navel is touched, sometimes to the point where they are even able to have an orgasm.
So, even if it’s common for you to have your stomach touched or even kissed during foreplay with your partner, spend some time, alone, playing with your belly button too. Use fingers, feathers, ice, hot wax, sex toys — anything that feels pleasurable in that area to see what feels the most amazing to/for you. You never know — the orgasm that you’ve been waiting for all of this time may just be where your belly piercing is (because yes, there is such a thing as a belly button orgasm). Straight up.
7. Experiment with Tastes and Textures
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What do you feel sexier in: silk, satin, or lace? What’s your favorite “sex condiment”: honey, fudge, or whipped cream? When a silicone sex toy touches you, how does it make you feel? When it comes to foods that are considered to be aphrodisiacs, do you prefer red wine or coconut water? Have you ever slept alone on a bed that is filled with rose petals? If so, did it turn you on? What’s your favorite sex cocktail or mocktail? Have you ever even tried one before (check out “Sexy Sips: 8 Fall-Themed Mocktails That Are Aphrodisiacs Too”)?
Before you decide to really get to know someone sexually, it’s important that you know yourself, so set up a solo sex date where you experiment with some of the things that I just mentioned. In the article, “How To Incorporate All Five Senses To Have The Best Sex Ever,” I address different things to try as far as taste and touch because what might turn someone else on could be entirely different for you. The more you know about what arouses your senses, the better you’ll be at creating an atmosphere that is truly satisfying.
8. Put Yourself into Some Sex Positions (Alone)
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If you’ve ever wondered how many sex positions there are in the world, according to some Kama Sutra writers, there are well over 200. And even if you don’t believe that to be true, there are plenty of articles out in cyberspace (like these here, here, and here) that profess more than 50 exist. You know, I once checked out a sex survey that said that somewhere around 30 percent of people prefer the missionary position while another 30 percent prefer to go the cowgirl (you know, the woman on top) route and that couples tend to do that same position 60 percent of the time that they had sex.
Listen, although there is something to be said for, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it,” if you are bored in the bedroom, always applying that sex mantra could be why.
So, as I close this out, click on the link to one of those articles and practice getting into some of the sex positions that you’ve never tried before (also naked and, yes, alone). It’s another way to increase your flexibility and make you feel more at ease in your own skin — plus, it can make you confident enough to suggest something new next time. Something that you don’t have to stumble and fumble around doing because you’ve already practiced it. Your partner will be no less than impressed. #wink
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