The month of love is here, and the universe is throwing in some exciting surprises in February. February is a time of forward movement, progress, and following your soul's purpose. Moving through Aquarius Season this month, the collective is more connected than ever -- and inspiration is flowing through the world. The month begins with a New Moon in Aquarius on February 1 and this is a powerful New Moon for setting intentions. Aquarius rules the house of hope and dreams, good fortune, and friendships, and it’s about believing in your dreams and the support you can receive on the way to reaching them. With Mercury going direct after being Retrograde since January 14, there are fewer roadblocks and more developments taking place now and anything is possible.
Mercury moves into Aquarius on Valentine’s Day this year, and sometimes friendships, your community, and social media memes are all you need for a magical day. The energy of the day is that of progress, excitement, and authenticity, and it’s about saying YES to new opportunities. On February 16, the Full Snow Moon of the year arrives and is occurring in the fiery sign of Leo. This is a passionate, creative, and powerful Full Moon and we are being called to step up and lead. February is a month of aligning with your soul purpose and intentions and this Full Moon highlights their development of them.
On February 22, 2022, the United States’ infamous first-ever Pluto Return occurs, and you can expect some major transformations taking place in the world during this time. Pluto is currently moving through Capricorn, breaking down outdated and unstable systems of the world, and building new and more empowered ones, and these are generational changes that are taking place at this time. Pluto is the planet of death and rebirth, the wheels of karma are turning. By the end of the month, Pisces Season begins on February 18, and spiritual renewal is taking place.
Aries
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleFebruary is a month of transformation for you, Aries. This is the month to flow with change rather than fight it, and to see the gifts of a new day. There is a New Moon at the beginning of the month in your house of friendships and good fortune, and you are entering February with your soul tribe by your side. This New Moon is a good time to set your intentions for the year, and also to think about what new experiences you want to see within your community, friendships, network, and soul purpose.
The energy of the month is turning thoughts into manifestations, and there are fewer roadblocks on the way to your goals with Mercury officially moving out of retrograde and going direct on February 3. The clarity is coming in, and you are tapping into your power of healing, creation, and transformation. With a Full Moon in fellow fire sign before the month ends on the 16th, you are seeking some closure in regards to romantic matters and pleasure pursuits, and are redefining what happiness means to you. February is your month to decide for yourself where you go from here, Aries.
Taurus
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleFebruary is a month of love, and this energy flows well with your Venusian soul, Taurus. February is all about dancing with life, changing things up, and letting your spirit feel the passion and possibilities of life. With your ruling planet Venus officially direct after being retrograde since December 2021, you are feeling more freedom and emotional ease when it comes to your relationships and resonance with them. You are seeking your new beginnings this month and with a New Moon in your house of career, reputation, and goals. Success is yours to claim right now.
If you’ve been feeling any stagnation or stuck in the usual routine, February is the month to break out of this and do something to change the energy. Let your attachments to outcomes go, and faith come in. You are ready for something new this month, Taurus. The Full Moon on the 16th is a time to unwind, connect with family and close loved ones, and nurture your inner world. Time in your safe spaces is calling as the month ends, and there is a sense of contentment, groundedness, and success with you in February.
Gemini
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleFebruary is a month of contemplation, insight, and answering the callings of your soul, Gemini. With your ruling planet Mercury going direct this month on February 3 after being retrograde since January 14, the fog is lifting, and insights abound. There are a lot of opportunities for connection, collaboration, and communication this month and you are exploring your options right now. The New Moon in Aquarius on the 1st is occurring in your house of adventure, travel, spirituality, and the higher mind, and this is a good time to set some intentions for future vacays and spiritual journeys.
With fewer communication mishaps happening this month, you get some real opportunities to see with an open perspective and to make decisions on things that have felt up in the air for you until now. Moving through air sign energy until the 18th flows well with your soul, and you are moving through February in synergy. You are connecting to your soul purpose, life intentions, and how to make them happen this month. The Full Moon on the 16th is transiting your house of communication, and you are receiving some important messages, phone calls, and insights before the month-end.
Cancer
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis month is a time of rebirth, release, and empowerment for you, Cancer. February is a month of releasing what no longer serves you, and being around healthy and supportive environments. There is a New Moon in your house of transformation on the first day of the month, and you are ready to dive deep into what has been serving you and your emotional world, and what has been weighing you down. You are releasing some old ties and bonds this month and renewing your spirit. February is your time of letting go and moving forward with your empowerment.
Although this is only the second month of 2022, you have already been through a few different major cycles this year. You have been gaining a deeper understanding of the depths of your being, and going through a spiritual awakening this year. There is a Full Moon in Leo on the 16th, and this Full Moon is going to be highlighting your value systems and how you’ve been implementing them in your relationships, commitments, and time. This Full Moon is a time of clarity when it comes to your foundations and sense of security. Self-love affirmations are medicine this month, Cancer.
Leo
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleFebruary is a month of change, setting your intentions, and moving into new environments, Leo. Breakthroughs are occurring for you this month and with a New Moon in your opposite sign on the 1st; your emotional world, relationships, and sense of balance are where you are looking to see these new beginnings take place. There is a strong focus on love for you this month, Leo and it’s about breaking down outdated perspectives and beliefs in love and nurturing new ones that support your self-worth, love, and identity.
When you can honor the cycles of change, accept that everything needs its time for transformation, and move with your faith, you can obtain your victories this month, Leo. One of the most important Full Moons of 2022 for you is happening on February 16th, and it’s occurring in your sign. This Full Moon is the Full Snow Moon of the year and is a time of deep personal revelations and insight for you. With a Full Moon transiting your 1st house of self at the end of the month, you are leaving the doubts and concerns of the past behind, and moving forward with your courage, Leo.
Virgo
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleYou are moving forward with inspiration and passion this month, Virgo. February is a month of creativity, spirituality, and connecting with your dreams in life. There is a New Moon in your 6th house of daily routines on the 1st of the month, and you are entering the month getting things in order like the Virgo you are. With your ruling planet Mercury going direct on February 3rd after being retrograde since January 14, you are ready to move forward with the clarity you have found in regards to what feels best for you in life and your self-expression.
February is the month to birth your dreams and to focus on what you want to create and express to the world. You are aligned with your soul purpose, and seeing some important intentions through this month, Virgo. Show up for yourself by being your biggest cheerleader and advocate right now, and have your back on your ideas and intentions. At the end of the month, there is a Full Moon in your house of closures, culmination, and healing, and you are closing one chapter and dreaming a new one into being. Trust that you are on the right path, Virgo.
Libra
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleLife is unfolding for you in new ways this month, Libra. Magic is in the air, and your inner source of love is shining. February is a journey and it’s one of untangling any confusion of what has been and finding understanding. With your ruling planet Venus officially direct, love is working for you right now. There is a New Moon in fellow air sign Aquarius as the month begins, and you are seeing new opportunities and experiences unfold for you in love, romance, and happiness. Flow with your joy, and don’t fight it, Libra.
Moving into February, you are expressing more of what has been going on within and experiencing new connections and developments within your relationships and friendships in life because of this. There is a sense of vulnerability with you this month, Libra, and you are letting go of anything that’s been holding you back from fully living in your freedom and self-expression. The Full Moon in Leo on the 16th is your time of connecting with those that inspire, honoring your soul purpose in life, and seeing some dreams and manifestations come full circle. Shine your light, Libra.
Scorpio
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleFebruary is about trusting the divine timing of life, Scorpio. You are already there, it’s about believing in who you are and what you can do right now. As the month begins there is a New Moon on the 1st occurring in your house of home and family, and you are seeing new beginnings within your foundations and safe spaces are being renewed during this time. February is about following your inner compass and not overthinking things. Connect with your higher self, live out your purpose, and pave your path, Scorpio.
With Venus officially direct and moving through your house of communication this month, February is a time of soul expression and letting your voice be heard. Allow your ideas, thoughts, and perspectives to be spoken this month, and trust your power in doing so. You are being called to speak up and show up this month. The Full Moon on February 16 is moving through your house of career, and you are seeing past hard work, efforts, and intentions coming full circle right now. The spotlight is on you at the end of the month, what do you want the world to see, Scorpio?
Sagittarius
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleFebruary is an enlightening month for you, Sagittarius. You are rising above and seeking your new beginnings right now. With a New Moon in your house of communication and the mind at the beginning of the month, you are moving through communication breakthroughs, and questions are being answered that change a lot for you moving forward. The insights you are gaining as you enter February are significant for you. Set your intentions for connection, expansion, and clarity, and communicate from the heart.
This month is a time of development and spiritual awakening, and you are reaching new heights in February, Sagittarius. Energy is everything, and you understand this and are making sure your vibe is right before anything else. There is a Full Moon in fellow fire sign Leo towards the end of the month, and you are seeing the culmination of some journeys and developments you have been through this month. This Full Moon is giving you a new perspective and reminding you of the gifts of your unique mind. It’s about releasing your hold on what was, nourishing what is, and getting excited about what’s to be.
Capricorn
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecole2022 has been an active year for you so far with two retrogrades (Venus and Mercury) moving through your sign. The gifts of February are that Venus is officially direct, Mercury goes direct on February 3rd, and there is less pressure to have it all together or to be someone or something to others that you no longer relate to. February is about aligning with who you are, what you want, and what you see for your future, and creating boundaries where necessary. Everything hasn’t always been the easiest for you this year, but that doesn’t mean that things aren’t changing for you.
There is a Full Moon in your house of transformation on February 16, and what’s been hidden is coming to light for you at this time. Your emotional world is highlighted, and you are getting the full picture right now. Align mind, body, and soul. There has been a lot to process, and you are rising from what’s been and reclaiming your power. With Venus direct in your sign for the entire month love and support will be there for you, Capricorn, allow it in.
Aquarius
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleYou are moving into new territory this month, Aquarius. February is about taking things one day at a time and honoring your new beginnings. With a New Moon in your sign on February 1, these new chapters of life are coming quickly, and they are positively serving your progress. Mercury retrograde moved into your sign at the end of January and goes direct on February 3 after being retrograde for a few weeks, and fewer misunderstandings having to do with yourself and how others are perceiving you are possible now.
Balance is key in February as you move through your intentions in life, and those having to do with the relationships in your life as well. With a Full Moon moving through your house towards the end of the month, romance is highlighted for you and you are moving beyond what has been here. Relationship/partnership matters come full circle and you are seeing some endings, closures, and clarity happening now that leads you to new experiences in love. Trust the process and don’t be afraid to take risks this month, Aquarius. You are crossing the threshold from what’s been into what’s to be.
Pisces
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecoleFebruary is a month of reflection, balance, and self-expression, Pisces. You are balancing the need for rest and nourishment, with your need to move forward with your new ideas and intentions this month. This is the time to come out of your cave a little bit more, and express what’s been needing to be said. When you can allow yourself to fully be and express who you are, you can meet more like-minded individuals who love what you have to say. The New Moon this month is moving through your house, and you are feeling renewed and focused on your healing and emotional well-being right now.
This month is reflecting the importance of feeling aligned and taking time out for yourself and your personal life. When it feels like there is too much to do and not enough time, check-in and remind yourself the biggest priority should be your peace of mind right now as well. You don’t have to get it all done at once, and the Full Moon later in the month happening in your house is giving you clarity on how to improve a system, daily routine, health habits, or working situation for you.
Featured image by Kyra Jay for xoNecole
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A basis for why I feel this way? Another quote immediately comes to mind. Famed author Jane Austen once wrote: “There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature.” You know, back when I also wrote “10 Things You Should Absolutely Expect From Your Friendships” for the platform, I shared that some of the traits of a friend — a real friend — include loyalty, honesty and compassion. And if you can’t say that your spouse is this way (as they say the same thing about you), chile…what is y’all doin’ over there?
So, why am I talking about marriage when this article is supposed to be about friendship? It’s because, something that life has taught me, kinda sorta the hard way, is we should vet potential friends — especially close friends — almost like we would a spouse.
And if you keep reading, I think you’ll get why I framed the intro in the way that I did.
Why Friendships Are Still Hella Essential
GiphyOkay, so before I get into why it seems that people have fewer friends than they ever had before, let me just say that, even as an ambivert who enjoys my own company and has absolutely no problem with being alone a good amount of the time, every personality type needs friends. That’s not just my opinion;science makes it a fact. Not only do studies support thathealthy friendships help us to feel more satisfied with our lives, but they can also reduce our chances of experiencing depression, stress, and anxiety and they increase longevity overall.
This is why — without going too deep because it’s kind of another topic for another time — it’s important to not allow past hurts and disappointments from former friends (or folks you thought were your friends) to cause you to build up walls as you declare that you don’t need anyone. When you do that, all you’re really doing is working against your own health and well-being. The saying that “no man (or woman) is an island”? It is absolutely true.
That said, even if it’s just a couple of people, make sure that you’ve got individuals in your life who you can call a friend and, in turn, they can say the very same thing about you, okay?
Are All of Those People Your Actual Friends? Or Do You Just Happen to Know a Lot of Folks?
GiphyAight but what if you happen to be someone who swings on the other side of few? Meaning, if someone were to ask you how many friends you had, you’d quickly declare that you’ve got too many to count. Listen, not to patronize or anything yet, but whenever I hear folks (especially if they are over 35) say something along those lines, it takes me back to high school — a time when so many of us thought that so long as we knew a ton of folks and/or we were popular, clearly, we had many friends.
Wisdom and pure ole’ dealing with humans on a consistent basis will teach you that an article that I wrote a few years back for the platform has a title that is spot-on: “According To Experts, We Only Have A Few Friends — Here's Why.” According to it, the average American (based on a survey that was conducted) has somewhere around 16 friends. Oh, but wait. Last fall, I wrote another article for the platform entitled, “What's The 'Five Friendship Theory' All About?” According to it, if you’re someone who takes the word “friend” and the responsibility that comes along with it very seriously and quite literally, as an adult, you can probably only maintain about five close friendships.
Why? Well, that brings in another article that I once wrote: “Life Taught Me That True Friendships Are 'Inconvenient.'” Chile, I don’t know about y’all but my friends know that if I call you that, you can call me in the middle of the night, and you can have money towards your rent (I’m not your mama but we all have hard times sometimes) and I’m gonna have your back in a way where you’ll wonder where you stop and I start — and no, I don’t have a lot of bandwidth for a ton of those people.
Okay, but what if you’re someone who is like, “I know that I have more than 16 and definitely more than five friends, no question”? The next thing that I would encourage you to explore is a theory by Aristotle (check out “According To Aristotle, We Need ‘Utility’, ‘Pleasure’ & ‘Good’ Friends”). Without even realizing it, many of us have people who we use the word “friend” for when…it’s kind of like how social media apps say “friend”: we’re familiar with one another and enjoy some of the same things, we might even have some of the same goals; at the same time, though, we’re not “all-encompassing friends.” We just get along really well at work (utility friends) or like to go to brunch at the same spots sometimes (pleasure friends).
Taking all of this into account, are you sure that you have a ton of actual friends? Or do you just happen to know a lot of people and you use that word for the lack of having another?
And that brings me to my next point.
There’s A LOT of Space Between “Friend” and “Enemy”
GiphyIf you read a lot of my friendship content, something that you will notice me saying quite a bit is that there is quite a bit of space between friend and enemy. It needs to be mentioned, as often as possible, because there are some people who get offended if you don’t consider them to be a friend — and that is unfortunate. I say that because the conclusion shouldn’t automatically be that they are your enemy just because “friend” isn’t what immediately comes to your mind.
They can be an acquaintance. They can be “cool people.” There is someone in my life who, while we’re not friends in the traditional sense, we are each other’s confidant; years ago, we agreed that we would be the place to tell each other whatever and it would stay between us — that is the main purpose that we serve in each other’s lives. Some people, you may consider to be spiritual family in the sense that you care for them and have some deeply profound things in common and still, they are not exactly a friend (I mean, a lot of blood relatives aren’t “friends” with each other).
All I’m trying to say here is we’re all too old now to only put folks in two boxes when it comes to this particular relational dynamic: friend or enemy. So, take some time out to seriously reflect on what you consider the various people in your life to be. I can promise you from personal experience that the sooner you know and the clearer you are, the easier it will be on everybody — because needs and expectations will be clear to you (and them once you articulate them) too.
What Got Folks to Having Less Friends? The Pandemic Plays a Significant Part.
GiphySo finally on to what inspired this piece to begin with. A part of it was an article that was published last year by Big Think entitled, “Americans more than ever have no friends. Here are 5 steps to make more friends.” Another was something that The New Yorker published back in 2021; it’s entitled “What COVID did to friendship.” Y’all don’t have enough time and I don’t have enough space to get into the fact that, just because the media may be talking about it less, that doesn’t mean that we’re not still in a pandemic.
In fact,one article stated my thoughts on it quite well when it said, “The real question, then, is not whether COVID is still a pandemic, but how much COVID illness and death are we willing to accept?” SMDH. And one of the things that has come with experiencing COVID is an interesting type of PTSD: detachment. There are plenty of articles out here to support the fact that my saying that is not merely my opinion.
Even according to the American Psychological Association, loneliness damn near skyrocketed, especially during lockdown and, unfortunately, a lot of people have not recovered from it. That’s why it did not surprise me at all when I read that more than ever, many people do not consider anyone to be a best friend; fewer people are relying on friends for any type of real support, and there is a semi-steady decline in people having friends, especially quality friendships, overall.
In fact, as far as close friends go, currently, close to 50 percent of Americans say that they only have three or fewer, and a relevant contributor to that was what the pandemic revealed as far as people’s proactive participation in other individuals’ lives (I actually read that young women were the ones who lost touch with friends during the peak of the pandemic the most). I also thought it was interesting that some studies cite that 12 percent of Americans say that they don’t have any friends at all.
Is the pandemic the only cause? No. So are things like people working more hours and spending more time online than they probably should (which also increased due to the pandemic, though). To that, Teen Vogue once published, “Social Media Is Impacting IRL Friendships” and Healthline once published, “Social Media Is Killing Your Friendships.” Then we also have to factor in having families of our own which can also take up a lot of time, and that sometimes can cause us to forget to nurture our friendships; so, before you know it, they fade to black. Not due to a fallout or anything, just…life.
And all of this? Some people are saying that it has led to what is known as a “friendship recession.” A huge flag about that is there are reports that a drop in close friends can cultivate a type of loneliness that is just as health hazardous as smoking a whopping 15 cigarettes a day. Not good, y’all. Not. Good.
Quality over Quantity Is Key. Just Make Sure That You Have a Friend or Two.
GiphyOkay, so what is my overall point? That’s a fair question. Just like sometimes “life life-ing” can make us forget to tend to our friendships, if you don’t stumble across content like this, you might not even realize that you’re feeling mentally stressed, emotionally strained, or super isolated and it’s all because you need to prioritize your friendships — because your mind, body, and spirit need them. Again, science has proved it.
At the same time, if, like a client of mine, you find yourself getting a little bit paranoid because you have noticed that over the past several years, your close friend count has been far less than what it used to be, this article proves that you are absolutely not (pardon the pun) alone. Honestly, there’s nothing wrong with having a very small circle of friends because quality is gonna beat out quantity every time; you just need to assess when it happened and why so that you can be sure that you are choosing it to play out that way and it’s not due to some underlying cause that you hadn’t taken into consideration — until now.
An Italian priest by the name of Thomas Aquinas once said, “The happy man in this life needs friends.” Even if it’s just one or two people, please make sure that you have folks who aren’t just your friend but your very close friend. You need them. They need you.
Everyone else, figure out where they fall and nurture accordingly. Life is a lot. We all get by with the help of our friends. Real talk, y’all. Thank goodness for them.
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