March is a time of strength, reflection, and rebirth for the collective. March and the majority of April are the only months of 2022 with zero retrogrades. Meaning, if you want to make something happen, or at least get the ideas together and put the plans in motion, this is the month to do it. March is all about the mountains you have climbed, and the nice view at the top you are seeing now. Take time with your growth, reflect on all you have learned thus far this year, and know that things are moving forward right now.
The Sun and Moon both come together in Pisces on March 2 for the New Moon in Pisces. This is a New Moon of emotional renewal for the world, and emotions will be running high. Pisces is also a highly creative, intuitive, and spiritual sign, and the energy of the month has a dash of fantasy to it, especially during this New Moon. Get in touch with your inner child, create from the heart, and daydream about the fresh starts you want to see unfold this month. Venus and Mars move into Aquarius a few days later where they will remain until April, and love knows no bounds right now. Clear communication, light-heartedness, and an open mind are what the vibe is during this transit, as Venus and Mars in Aquarius seek to liberate.
Mercury enters Pisces on March 9, and communications are colored in emotion for the time being. Mercury in Pisces is all about creativity and communicating from the heart. Deep insights and an active dream life are what this time is all about for the collective, and it’s best to keep things transparent right now. By mid-month on March 18, there is a Worm Moon in Virgo, and this Full Moon is here to clean house. Virgo is the healer, the multi-tasker, and the wise Goddess. She comes in when we need it the most, and this Full Moon is here to heal and bring things into order.
Aries Season begins a few days later, as well as the Spring Equinox and the beginning of the Astrological New Year, and we are moving through a time of rebirth in March overall.
Aries
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleIn March you are on a new vision quest, Aries. The month starts with the Sun in your 12th house of rejuvenation and reflection as we near your Solar Return later this month. The theme with you in March is one of self-discovery. You are broadening your horizons this month and looking beyond what you currently know now. This is a soul replenishing month for you as you bring attention to your inner world, your perspective right now, and the opportunities that are appearing for you this month.
On March 18, there is a Full Moon in Virgo, and this Full Moon will be influencing your working life, health habits, and daily routine. Culminations occur when it comes to what’s been happening on the day-to-day, and you get the clarity you have been looking for over the past month here. The beginning of the month is all about rest and renewal, and moving into March you are getting things done. Aries Season begins on March 20, and it’s your time to shine! Aries Season marks the beginning of the Astrological Calendar, and if you had a rough start to 2022, now is the time to claim your new beginnings, Aries.
Taurus
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleMarch is all about balance and trusting the process for you, Taurus. You are doing some reflection this month as you acknowledge how far you have come, and prepare for what is next for you. The month starts with a New Moon in Pisces on March 2, and you are seeing new beginnings within your community, friendships, and social network right now. This is a good time to set your intentions for who you want to collaborate with this year and the message you want to get across.
Moving into March, you are reaching new heights. Through the time you got for self-reflection, rejuvenation, and dedication to the process, you find yourself moving forward with new opportunities mid-month. The Full Moon happening on March 18 is occurring in fellow earth sign Virgo, and occurring in a romantic and playful area of your birth chart. Things are feeling good right now, and you are inspired by the full circle moments you are getting this month. March is here to remind you you are not alone, you are loved, and you deserve to be recognized for your greatness, Taurus.
Gemini
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleMarch is a time of healing, strength, and allowing yourself to shine, Gemini. The New Moon on March 2 is happening in a public area of your birth chart, and the spotlight is on you as you enter the month. Career matters take the forefront during this time and you get the opportunity to speak on what you know and grow stronger in your understanding of your soul purpose. The path you are on this month is one of strength, wisdom, and conviction to your personal truths.
Mars and Venus enter fellow air sign Aquarius on March 6, and this transition flows well with your insightful soul. As Mars and Venus move through your 9th house of adventure, travel, spirituality, and the higher mind you have full reign to move forward with all of the adventures and vocations you have been intending for. Although the time for healing, replenishment, and peace of mind is needed this month; you are overall seeing your intentions, goals, and spiritual inklings through in March, Gemini.
Cancer
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis is your time of emergence, Cancer. The energy that is with you this month is one of synergy. With the Sun flowing through a fellow water sign for most of the month, you are experiencing an emotional renewal right now. The New Moon at the beginning of the month is a good time to expand your horizons and say yes to new opportunities. A new perspective has been born from what you’ve already experienced this year, and you are rising above any past confusion and into clarity in March. Your power of manifestation is strong right now, Cancer.
Moving into the month, there is a Full Moon in your 3rd house of communication on March 18, and the Sun moves into an area of your chart that has to do with your career and public image a few days later. The message is clear this month, and you are getting yours across. You are inspired by the personal transformations you have been through recently, and claiming your power right now. March is all about making your voice heard and the vision come to life, Cancer.
Leo
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleMarch is your month of rebirth, Leo. You have been through a journey of soul growth, and have been learning a lot through your relationships with others recently. With a New Moon in your 8th house of intimacy as the month begins, you are exploring the depths of your love, intimacy, and dedication to what’s blooming for you right now. With Mars and Venus moving into Aquarius and your 7th house of relationships, love, and marriage on March 6, the focus on nurture, balance, and hope is with you right now. You are motivated by the partnerships in your life and feeling the love this month.
The Worm Moon on March 18 is moving through your house of finances, income, assets, and self-esteem, and this is a good time to look at the balance within your spending and clear up anything that needs to be sorted. Confidence, self-assurance, and faith are key as you move into March. The patience and grace you have shown yourself are showing fruition for you this month. Fortunate circumstances appear when you can allow all to be and trust that you deserve the best for yourself, always, Leo.
Virgo
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleMarch is a time of paving your path and seeking out your new horizons, Virgo. You are spending time within, with your loved ones, and with the light that you are experiencing in your life right now. There is a New Moon in your 7th house of love right as you enter the month, and new beginnings within your romantic world are occurring for you now. This is a good time to set your intentions for love and to trust what partnership opportunities are coming together for you in March. Say yes to love, Virgo.
The Virgo Full Moon of the year is happening this month, and it’s occurring on March 18. This Full Moon is all about your personal growth and closing out a major chapter of your life. You are letting go of old stories or versions of yourself you no longer relate to and shedding the light on who you are today. This is a powerful Full Moon for you as one cycle of life transforms from an ending into a new beginning. You have done the work, continued to show up for yourself even when at times you’ve had to stand alone, and you are ready to move forward now, Virgo.
Libra
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleSeek out your sanctuaries this month, Libra. March is about getting back to the basics and taking things one day at a time. It’s all about flow right now and finding a schedule or routine that works best for you. The New Moon at the beginning of the month is reminding you of the importance of a routine, and this is a good time to set new intentions for health and working matters. Your everyday life is the focus right now, and when this is good, all else falls into place for you.
As you spend time connecting to your safe spaces and what feels right for you this month, you are finding a way through anything that has kept you feeling stuck. Doors are opening for you, and you are taking the time weighing your options like the balanced Libra you are. Before Aries season begins and the Sun moves into your sister sign and into an area of your chart having to do with partnership and love; there is a Full Moon in your 12th house tying up any loose ends before the real fun begins. Release, renewal, and emotional clarity are where your heart is, Libra.
Scorpio
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleMarch is all about flowing through life effortlessly and letting things fall into place, Scorpio. Romance is in the air for you as you begin the month with a New Moon in a fellow water sign, Pisces, on March 2. This New Moon is moving through your 5th house of self-expression, playfulness, romance, and flirtation. Things are getting exciting for you in March, and you are setting the tone right now for the experiences you want to have and the love you want to feel this year. Give and receive freely, and allow yourself to be moved by the excitement and hope of it all right now.
This month is all about the stepping stones you have made to get you to where you are today, Scorpio. Peace of mind is priceless, and you have cashed in on these treasures of life. The Virgo Full Moon on March 18 is highlighting your friendships and community, and the faith that is with you this month is undeniable. You are an inspiring force for others and your light is being recognized within your connections, Scorpio. The Sun moves into your 6th house before the month ends, and you are taking care of business right now.
Sagittarius
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis is a month of radiance for you, Sagittarius. You are owning your light, and shining in all of your glory in March. Life is coming full circle for you this month and there are happy culminations in store for you right now. At the beginning of the month, there is a focus on home, family, and your foundations, and this is a good time to plant the seeds for what you want to grow here right now. Your security systems are in focus, and the things that bring you a sense of stability and safety are what you are resonating with right now.
The Full Moon on March 18 is highlighting your career, professional life, reputation, and achievements, and you are seeing some working projects come full circle this month. This is the time to release anything that hasn’t been serving you within your career and to focus on what fulfilling your purpose means to you right now. Once the Sun moves into a fellow fire sign and Aries Season begins on March 20, you are blazing forward and into your dreams. This is the month of finding your happiness and making it a priority to do more of the things that get you in this space of gratitude, Sag.
Capricorn
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleMarch is all about getting your ducks in a row. You love to be organized, and you are taking some time to sort things out right now, Capricorn. The New Moon in Pisces on March 2 is occurring in your 3rd house of communication, transportation, and local community, and you are receiving some important messages at the beginning of the month. The focus is on new beginnings for you right now, and you are clearing the air. As Mars and Venus move into your 2nd house a week later, you are thinking long-term this month and setting up plans for yourself and your future success.
The Full Moon in Virgo happening on March 18 is all about perspective. Life is coming full circle, and you are getting the full picture right now and seeing how everything has fallen into place for you. You are known for your strength, dedication, and resilience, and sometimes you need to be reminded of how great you are. March is giving you those realizations. There is a Last Quarter Moon in your sign on March 25 and you are reflecting on the intentions you set at the beginning of the month and moving forward here.
Aquarius
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleJust because your season is over, doesn’t mean the light stops shining on you, Aquarius. March is a month of transformation and personal empowerment, as you rise and show up for yourself. There is a lot of magic with you this month with Venus and Mars both moving into Aquarius on March 5 for the entire month. Venus is love and receptivity, and Mars is passion and energy; the two combining in your sign is bringing forth a nice balance in your life. You are especially motivated right now with a lot of energy at your disposal, and with Venus officially in your sign, you are feeling the love this month, Aquarius.
You are like the lotus blooming this month, and you are moving out of any muddy waters. The Full Moon on March 18 is transiting your 8th house of intimacy, life, death, and rebirth, and the transformations you are seeing this month are bringing you closer to your soul. You are ready to renew, liberate, and define your path moving forward. Aries season begins before the month ends and the Sun moves into an area of your chart having to do with communication, publication, and daily activity; and you are getting things done as the month winds down.
Pisces
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecolePisces season is in full swing and the spotlight is on you, Pisces. This month brings with it full circle moments, happy outcomes, and the realization that there is gold at the end of the rainbow for you. As life ebbs and flows with the energy of your ocean soul this month, you are being made clear of what your priorities and needs are, and what you truly want to see in your life right now. There is a New Moon in your sign as the month begins, and you are seeing personal new beginnings and a new understanding of self. This month is all about you, your divine path, your intentions, and the courage to be your authentic self. You are reinventing yourself right now, Pisces.
On March 9, Mercury enters Pisces, and communication channels are opening for you right now. March is a good time to get your ideas heard, have some important conversations, and gain a new perspective. The Full Moon on March 18 is happening in your sister sign, Virgo, and this Full Moon is all about love, relationships, and emotional renewal for you. Life comes full circle in love, and you are moving forward with the relationships that have only grown stronger in the process, Pisces.
Featured image by Kyra Jay for xoNecole
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A big part of the clarity that is coming through this month is due to Neptune going direct in Pisces on December 10, after being retrograde here since July. With Neptune now direct, we are able to see our inspiration and creativity a little more clearly, providing the perfect energy for dreams and manifestation to be built upon. The smoke is clearing, and it’s up to you to decide what you want to do with this newfound clarity that this transit is bringing. Mercury also moves back into Sagittarius on December 11, which is great for communication and clarity, and the adventures you were trying to see through at the beginning of November come around for you again with greater purpose and support.
On December 15, Mars enters Capricorn until the end of January 2026, and this is the extra push we need to make important changes and to be on the path towards greater abundance, stability, and prosperity. Mars in Capricorn takes care of business, and we have extra energy at our disposal during this time to do so. This transit is an ideal time to focus on your career or financial goals for next year and to start putting some of these plans into motion now. A few days later, we have the New Moon of the month, which will be in Sagittarius on December 19, and this is the perfect New Moon to manifest.
The energy is high, magic is in the air, and it’s all about moving forward with the new beginnings that are inspiring you and bringing you joy to think about right now.
Capricorn Season officially begins on December 21, and this earth sign energy is how we heal, gain closure, and build new foundations in our world. With Venus also moving into a Capricorn a few days later, there is something about peace, prosperity, and security that we are gaining in life and in love as we close out the year, and this is what we need right now. This month is about reflecting on what was, letting go of old hurt, and renewing. December is an ending and a new beginning in one, and there is magic in this space to be created.
Read for your sun and rising sign below to see what December 2025 has in store for you.
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleARIES
December is a full-circle moment for you, Aries. You are seeing the gifts in your world and have a lot of gratitude for the way things have come about for you as of late. There are culminations in your world that are providing you with more abundance, stability, and community, and you are exactly where you are meant to be this month. With the Sun in a fellow fire sign and in your 9th house of travel for most of the month, December is a good time to get out of your comfort zone, explore the world around you, and get your body moving.
Mars, your ruling planet, also makes a change and moves into Capricorn on December 15, which will fuel your inspiration and power in your career space. You are making a lot of professional progress as we close out the year; however, make sure to be more mindful of your competitive drive right now. The New Moon on December 19 is the perfect opportunity for you to create some new plans and goals when it comes to traveling, education, and where you want to gain some new inspiration in your world. Overall, this is a month of things coming together for you serendipitously.
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleTAURUS
December is about trusting your intuition, Taurus. You have a lot on your mind this month, and it’s best to delegate, communicate, and allow yourself some relief by opening up to someone and not feeling like you have to hold everything in. As we begin the month, we have a Supermoon in Gemini happening in your house of income, and the plans and projects you have been building here come to fruition for you now. This is the time to gain clarity on your financial world and to take a look at what spending habits you want to let go of here as well.
With Venus in your 8th house of shared resources for most of the month, you are doing a cleanse on your commitments, partnerships, and business ventures. You are taking a look at what you want to dedicate yourself to in the future, and what commitments you may need to let go of now in order to be in the space you truly want to be, both financially and within some of your relationship dynamics. Before we end the month, we have a New Moon in this same area of your chart, and it’s time to look at the opportunities that are presenting themselves and to trust your internal guidance system to lead you forward.
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleGEMINI
You are moving forward fearlessly this month, Gemini. December is your month of love, passion, and dignity, and you are owning the light that you shine. We begin the month with the last Supermoon of the year, happening in your sign, and you are stepping up to the plate. You are showing up, owning how much you have grown this year, and allowing yourself to heal while also acknowledging that you have done your best and you deserve to have fun in the midst of the changes you are creating.
Mercury, your ruling planet, is officially out of retrograde, and you can use this energy to the fullest potential now. With Mercury in your 7th house of love, it’s time to speak from the heart and to talk about the things that matter and that are inspiring you right now to your loved ones. You never know what kind of epiphanies you may have when you open up the conversation to others. Before the month ends, you have a New Moon in this same love area of your chart, and this New Moon is all about manifesting romance, commitment, and abundance in your world.
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleCANCER
December is an opening for more love, more joy, and more freedom in your life, Cancer. You have come to a place where you hold so much gratitude in your heart for where you are today and where your heart is shining, and things come together for you with more ease right now. With the Sun in your 6th house of health, work, and daily routines for most of the month, you are getting your ducks in a row while also putting more energy and effort into taking care of yourself, your priorities, and your well-being. This month surprises you in many ways, and it’s because you are showing up.
Mars and Venus both move into your house of love, relationships, marriage, and abundance this month, and you are making strides in your love life. You have both of these opposing forces on your side and are being recognized for the love you are while also receiving the love you want. This month, overall, is about focusing more on the positives in your world and letting your heart have its joy. Before December comes to an end, there is a New Moon in Sagittarius, and this is the perfect opportunity to create the plans you want to see through next year, especially when it comes to your work life, colleagues, business ventures, and health.
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleLEO
The scales of karma are balancing, and they are balancing in your favor this month, Leo. December is your month of truth, and of seeing it clearly in your world. The Sun is in your house of romance, pleasure, and happiness for most of the month, and it’s time to relax, be in the present moment, and allow what is meant to be, to be. With a Supermoon in your 11th house of manifestation as December begins, this is a powerful month for seeing your dreams come to fruition, and for feeling like the intentions you have set this year are finally here for you now.
Mars also moves into your 6th house mid-month, and this is the perfect energy to have to move into the new year. You have extra energy at your disposal right now and are feeling fearless with what is possible for you and your daily routine. Before the month ends, we also have a New Moon in a fellow fire sign, Sagittarius, and this is a breakthrough moment for you and your heart. December, overall, wants to show you how loved and supported you are and will be doing so in magical, unexpected, and concrete ways.
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleVIRGO
December is a month of victory, Virgo. You are showing up and experiencing some new successes in your world that move you forward on your path in life. With a Supermoon in your 10th house of career as we begin the month, the effort and intentions you have made this year come into full bloom, and you are being recognized for who you are and the good work you have done. This month is all about showing up and allowing yourself to be seen and loved, knowing that you deserve the support and opportunities you are receiving.
Mars moves into Capricorn on December 15, which brings the passion and excitement into your love life, hobbies, and little pleasures in life that light you up. You want to have fun this month and are going to be walking into the new year with this fearless, happy, and spontaneous energy within you. Before the month ends, Venus also enters Capricorn, and in this same area of your chart, you have a lot to look forward to and believe in right now. Overall, December wants you to be happy and will be doing everything possible to make that happen for you. This is your month to shine, Virgo.
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleLIBRA
December is a month of opportunity for you, Libra. New doors open, and you are financially making breakthroughs this month because of it. December begins with a Supermoon in your 9th house, and you are getting a clearer view of where you have been making strides in your life and how it has all brought you here to this present moment of freedom. This month is showing you what happens when you are fearless with your purpose and when you believe in yourself and what you are worthy of.
Moving further into December, Mars moves into your 4th house of home and family mid-month, and you are closing out the year in your safe spaces. You are spending more time with your loved ones and taking the time to quiet your mind and listen to what your heart has been telling you. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Sagittarius, happening in an area of your life that deals with communication. This is a great time for getting the answers you have been looking for and for feeling more clear-headed and confident about the decisions you are making as you move into the new year.
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleSCORPIO
Patience is a virtue this month, Scorpio. December is all about remaining patient and vigilant with what you are creating in your world, and knowing that the universe has your back. It’s time to be reminded of the power of hope, and this month is an opening to greater clarity in your life. There is a lot of energy in your financial zones right now, and this is providing you with new opportunities and new insight; however, the speed at which things come about for you may feel daunting. Keep your head up and eyes focused on what you want and know that you are more than worthy of receiving it.
With Mercury in your 2nd house of income this month, December is a good time to plant new seeds and to think about where you want to be financially a month from now or even a year. This month is asking you to think bigger and to think more long-term so that you can set the appropriate plans into motion now. We also have a New Moon in your house of income before the month ends, and this is when you will see more of your dreams come to fruition in this area of your life, and have more opportunities to build. Overall, December will be teaching you a lot, Scorpio.
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleSAGITTARIUS
Sagittarius Season is here, and there is a lot in store for you this month, Sag. December is all about what you are dedicating yourself to. It’s about setting your intentions and putting the work in to back up your dreams, and about getting things in order so that when the new beginnings come, you are ready for them. The Sun and Venus are in your sign for most of this month, and there are a lot of eyes on you right now. You have the potential to create a new beginning for yourself, and it’s time to invest in yourself, your love life, and your dreams.
Mercury moves into Sagittarius on December 11, and this is giving you another opportunity to see through some of the plans that you had initiated in November. Mercury was retrograde in your sign last month, and there may have been some disruptions to your vision and plans for the future, and now this energy is turning around for you. Before the month ends, we also have a New Moon in Sagittarius, and you are walking through new doors fearlessly. You are catching others by surprise by your growth this month, and you are thinking a lot about your purpose, future, and plans for the new year.
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleCAPRICORN
December is all about the vision, Capricorn. You are moving through a lot of changes and transformations this month, yet they are giving you a chance at a new beginning in the process. You are focused more on the future and what goals you want to manifest for yourself right now, and are ready to let go of what hasn’t been working for you. With the Sun in your 12th house of closure for most of December, this is your time for healing, but remember, healing doesn’t have to be isolating or boring; you can thrive while you renew, and you are this month.
Mid-month, the excitement picks up for you, and you are feeling more energized than you have in a while. Mars moves into Capricorn until the end of January 2026, and you are being proactive with your goals, intentions, and passions. You are a force to be reckoned with this month, and you are making things happen for yourself with confidence. Capricorn Season officially begins on December 21 this year, and this is definitely speeding up your healing process. You are breaking free from what was, and with Venus also moving into Capricorn before the month ends, you are leaving this year in high spirits and with love opening a new door for you.
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleAQUARIUS
December is all about community, creativity, and manifestation, Aquarius. This is the month to work together with others to help bring your dreams to life. You are in a space of inspiration, empowerment, and beauty, and are creating more of this energy around you and in your world. Look out for what support comes your way this month and know that you don’t have to do everything alone to succeed. With the Sun in your 11th house of manifestation and friendship, your intentions are coming to fruition, and it’s time to celebrate with the people you love and to own how far you have come this year.
On December 19, we have a New Moon in Sagittarius, lighting up your life in all of the best ways possible. This is your New Moon of freedom, victory, and magic, and you are seeing new beginnings appear that you were once just hoping for. Before the month comes to an end, Venus moves into your 12th house of closure, and after an active and successful month, you are ready to relax, heal, and give your heart some of the attention it has been asking for. You are moving into the new year with the need to release and renew what hasn’t been working in your relationships, and you are finally ready to.
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecolePISCES
December is a big month for you, Pisces. You are making some huge accomplishments this month, and are feeling like everything you have been through this year has been worth it for these moments that are coming to fruition for you now. The Sun is in your 10th house of career and reputation for most of the month, and this is where a lot of your focus is right now. You are claiming your successes and putting yourself out there in ways that not only serve you, but that inspire others as well.
Neptune officially goes direct on December 10, after being retrograde in your sign since July, and you are finally seeing things a little more clearly. You are feeling renewed inspiration and passion in your life, and your intuition is your strongest asset right now. Before December comes to an end, we also have a New Moon in your 10th house of career, and what happens now not only changes things for you in the present, but it also opens new doors and what is possible for you in the new year as well. Overall, you are on top of your game this month and are owning the joy and empowerment you feel.
Featured image by Kyra Jay for xoNecole
Oh, but there are plenty of people whose egos have them thinking that they can read someone else’s mind. Then there are others who have fantasies, which create unrealistic expectations that others in their lives actually should read their mind. And you know what — both of these things can cause unnecessary stress, drama, and trauma, if folks aren’t careful.
And that’s why I think it’s important that we unpack this a bit more. Because if you’re someone who thinks that if another person truly cares for you, they should be able to read your mind, it’s time to let that ridiculous yet semi-popular notion absolutely and completely go.
Here’s why.
It’s Scientifically Impossible for Someone to Read Your Mind
There are a couple of reasons why I am starting this off with R&B singer Avant. For one thing, I don’t think that he gets nearly enough flowers and secondly, clearly, this is a more-than-fitting song for today’s topic, wouldn’t you say? Because, lawd, there really is something that makes some of us feel all warm ‘n fuzzy about the mere thought of a man telling us that he is so in tuned with us that he can basically read our mind.
Hmph. Problem with that is, as I said in the intro, it is scientifically impossible (for us and for AI to do, praise the Lord!). And yet the fact that so many individuals think that they defy scientific data and research is oftentimes why there are so many breakdowns in communication — because if you run on assumption (that you can read someone’s mind) without clarification and confirmation, you can create issues that didn’t exist before you decided to fall for your own mind-reading theories.
Now to be fair, while science is still trying to figure out why we can’t read minds, what is sure is that we do have the capability to perceive the thoughts and actions of others if we’re willing to pay really close attention. However, do keep in mind that reading and perceiving are different. Reading? It’s about being able "to apprehend or interpret the meaning of" and "to anticipate, expect, or calculate by observation." Perceiving? It’s all about “to become aware of, know, or identify by means of the senses” and “to recognize, discern, envision, or understand.”
And already, do you see the differences? So much certainty comes with reading while perceiving is about humbling oneself (bookmark that) to not try to know everything but instead to try and understand what is transpiring. And since no one person (or their mind) is ever truly static, that is a huge part of the reason why believing that you can read someone’s mind — no matter how close you may be to them — is futile. You can change your mind on a dime. Others can do the same. Learning to perceive what is going on instead of assuming that you can “read” folks is far more beneficial.
Besides, you might be surprised by a particular demo who thinks that if you are truly who they need you to be, you will read their minds — and boy, once you know who they are, that may cure you of the whole “read your mind” ish…quick, fast and in a hurry.
The Expectation Is Oftentimes Rooted in Egomania
GiphyWhile doing a bit of research on this topic, I thought it was interesting that a particular type of person kept coming up. Can you guess which one? A NARCISSIST. What I kept noticing is a telling sign of a narcissistic individual is they expect others to read their mind.
I must admit that I was caught off guard by that at first because narcissists and their damn egos are so out of control (bookmark that) that it would seem like they would be more focused on acting like they know the thoughts of other people. Here’s the thing, though — the reason why narcissists want others to read their mind is because they want you to do things like guess what they want and need before they ask — and they want that to happen because they believe that they are so damn special that you should put in the extra blood, sweat and tears to figure it all out. Hmph. Now that tracks.
Another reason why narcissists want you to be able to read their mind is so they can manipulate and deflect. Meaning, if you say and do things based on what you thought they wanted you to, should everything crash and burn, they can dodge accountability and blame you for it. Hmm, does reading someone’s mind seem romantic and beautiful now? SMDH.
And again, all of this is tied to ego because, at the end of the day, mind-reading is a form of control and narcissists are definitely very controlling people. And honestly, mind-reading is as well because why do you even want to know someone’s private thoughts before they share them and, at the same time, why would you want someone to have that kind of power in your life either? “Eww” is what immediately comes to my mind. “Yuck” is what follows.
So, why is it that so many people think that it’s a good thing to have someone read their mind — I mean, the ones who don’t show narcissistic tendencies, that is? Good question.
5 Reasons Why Some People Wish Someone Would/Could Read Their Mind
GiphyOkay, so ego and pridefulness aside, what would be some other reasons why people think that it’s such a wonderful thing if someone who they are in some sort of intimate relationship with can read their mind.
1. They are caught up in Disney and rom-coms. One day, I am going to do an article on all of the ways that Disney and rom-coms have destroyed the reality of relationships. For now, I’ll just say that the scripted tales of both have caused a lot of people to think that if someone loves them, they should be able to read their mind. Nooo…if someone loves you, they should care to know what is on your mind. And that brings me to the second point.
2. They aren’t as good at communicating as they think. Are you a good communicator? One way to know if you are is you’re able to clearly articulate your wants and needs — because really, if you are able to do that, why should anyone even need to read your mind? Feel me? Let’s move on.
3. They want someone else to work harder at their relationships than they do. I say it in my sessions often — it’s beyond crazy to think that someone should work harder at figuring out what your wants, needs and expectations are than you are willing to express them. Hmph. It makes me think of a friend of mine who says that “should” is a dangerous word. What she means by that is saying that someone should do or not do something simply because YOU THINK that’s how it “should” go is a surefire way to stay disappointed and even be disillusioned. No, your man shouldn’t just know what you want every year for your birthday. Did you state it? If not, why aren’t you playing fair? Who has time for all of the guessing games and then getting penalized if they guess wrong? Stop it.
4. They think it’s the sign of a healthy relationship (it isn’t). Anyone who knows me knows that I am always and forever going to be Team Healthy over Team Happy and my reason why never changes. Only children expect to live in a world where they are happy all of the time — and yes, there are a lot of childish people out here. People who want their mind read? They tend to live in happy land. Meanwhile, a healthy relationship knows that clear communication, mutual respect, keen listening, patience and understanding that humans make mistakes are foundational to its success.
5. They are lazy. And yes y’all, some people want others to read their mind because they are lazy and it really is just as simple as that. Thing is, while they are being passive aggressive, dropping hints or giving the silent treatment so that you can figure out whatever it is that they…want you to figure out, that tends to take more effort than simply speaking up. Ridiculous, chile.
How to Let the Myth Go
GiphyGee, after reading all of this, suddenly reading minds just seems like a lot of silliness with a sprinkle of drama and potential trauma, doesn’t it? And it’s all because some people choose to treat something that is a myth like it’s a bona fide fact. SMDH.
And what if you happen to be one of those individuals? How do you break free? COMMUNICATE. Openly, clearly and maturely share what’s on your mind and heart because, the true tell of a solid relationship isn’t that someone can read your mind; it’s that they can retain what you’ve already stated.
Less reading. More perceiving. That’s the secret sauce.
And when you accept this for what it is, you will realize that it’s far better for you, your partner and your relationship to stop expecting the impossible and to accept what is actual: that learning your partner, as they strive to do the same thing with you, is better than you both assuming that you know what…maybe you do, maybe you don’t.
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Author Frank Sonnenberg once said, “People can’t hear what you don’t say. Thinking isn’t communicating” — and I think this is a perfect place to bring all of this to a close.
Find the kind of relationship(s) where intention is so strong that mind-reading isn’t even desired.
At the end of the day, it really is as simple as that.
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