xoNecole: You've played a myriad of interesting characters over the course of your nearly 30-year career. So I’m curious: which character has been the closest to Larenz or has been your favorite?

Larenz Tate: For me, if I can just find or add a little bit of myself in each of the roles I play, in the character, then I've accomplished that. You got to put a personal touch on something, whether it's Menace [II Society], Dead Presidents, Love Jones, Why Do Fools Fall in Love, or currently the Power universe, in the spin-off show with Councilman Tate. I just try to find something that--whether you love or hate a character--I want to find human qualities that allow you to either relate to the person, or you don't want to take your eyes off the person and what they're doing. So if I can find ways to do that by bringing a little bit of my own personal touch to it or a lot of it, it's really good.

But, you mentioned what are some of my favorite characters. I think it's the movies themselves. I've been fortunate to have movies that become classics based off the fans and the quality. Take Love Jones, for instance. Such a great storyline, the characters are rich. It was refreshing to see something that we as Black folks hadn't seen before. And I think it was unique because Black people were telling the story. When we tell our stories, there's a level of authenticity that we bring to it if we are allowed to.

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A post shared by Larenz Tate (@larenztate) on Sep 8, 2020 at 10:13am PDT

"When we tell our stories, there's a level of authenticity that we bring to it if we are allowed to."

I couldn’t agree more. You know Larenz, you always seem so joyful and full of good energy in almost everything I see concerning you. With the pandemic and everything going on, how have you been affected personally and mentally? If at all.

You know anytime I share interviews, my story or some of the things I want to talk about--obviously, I want to be able to inspire, to motivate through the conversations and the energy that I put out there. But by all means, I do find things to be challenging just as everyday folk that are dealing with this pandemic and a shutdown. And having to now alter what we're used to doing in our everyday lives, it's a bit of a challenge.

But for me, I always try to find my center and this is something that's always been instilled in me very early. Define your center [so that] anytime that you're thrown out of it, you can find ways to do it. Whether that's from a spiritual standpoint, whether it's from a conscious standpoint, just to be able to utilize the same tools that I've had growing up to kind of get through the tough times [is necessary]. Because these are moments where people are really being tested.

As we can see, the day-to-day routines of the pandemic can sometimes suck the magic right out of our daily lives. Especially as it relates to marriage. So, have you found any new or unconventional things that help keep you and Tomasina’s marriage spicy and exciting?

That's a very good question. You know, it's one of those things that, it's kind of like a roller coaster. There's times where things are super spicy and it's good. And it's like, all new--especially because you have the time, you know what I mean? But you have to understand when you're in a situation like mine: wife, four children, especially when they're little, trying to keep the spice can be a little challenging because there's ALWAYS children around. And it's not like we can leave them at home and go break away to a hotel or go away for days at a time because we don't really want to leave them with anyone. So you got to find different moments. For me, my wife is big on massages. So I'm giving back rubs, foot massages, you know. There's ways to kind of keep being intimate in that way. So you don't completely just go untouched, you don't want to stay disconnected.

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A post shared by Larenz Tate (@larenztate) on Feb 15, 2020 at 8:07pm PST

I think massages are severely underrated. They’re definitely clutch.

Yeah, they are but we got to pick and choose our fun times. You know, I bought my wife this professional massage table, right? And all the things that a professional masseuse would have. I got the oils, I got the lavender candles and the smell-goods and all this stuff. I got all the sheets and the blankets. So we have that and I set up this really cool gazebo in the backyard that can close up. So every now and again, you know what I'm saying, I'm going to give my wife the little massage. It's happening and it's good. But my kids, man! They like, 'What's going on, what's going on behind the curtain?' (laughs).

Like, yo--y'all gotta let us live. I'm trying to break that massage table in, bruh.

How did you know Tomasina was the one? 

I think it was just over time. She and I just got along. It was one of those things [to where] we just balanced each other out. [We were] compatible. And as a friend--we were very good friends. And, of course, in our dating, she was just like a solid person through and through. And I felt like I found somebody that I truly can grow with and that I'm willing to really share a life-long experience with. It was a combination of different kinds of things. She just always was solid. I saw how she was and not only how she treated me, but how she treated people that weren't around me or people in my circle.

My wife and I dated for six years before we even got married and we were just working on our friendship and our relationship. There was a certain kind of normality that was present in our relationship that didn't feel like it was under a microscope of the media or Hollywood. It was like a normal relationship. And we don't have normal lives, so if you create normality--that was important.

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A post shared by Larenz Tate (@larenztate) on Oct 28, 2019 at 2:36pm PDT

"My wife and I dated for six years before we even got married and we were just working on our friendship and our relationship. There was a certain kind of normality that was present in our relationship that didn't feel like it was under a microscope of the media or Hollywood. It was like a normal relationship. And we don't have normal lives, so if you create normality--that was important."

You've spoken previously on the importance of maintaining and putting friendship first in your relationship. And you kind of just touched on it again a little bit ago. What advice would you give to married couples who've lost the foundation of friendship in their marriage?

Well, I'm certainly not one to give any advice but one of the things that I realized is that friendship is really important because friends are family that you choose, right? Usually what you want to have [in your relationship] is based on unconditional friendship. So no matter what, you accept their flaws, you accept their greatness, you accept their shortcomings and missteps, but also their victories. And I feel like when you are in a relationship and that friendship is tested, it's one of those things that you have to then look back on. And for me, that was something that I always kind of, we kind of had. Our relationship just gradually grew. When you have that friendship, you are usually dealing with the true essence of the person.

And I want to add this too. One thing that I also learned was that even though your lady is your friend, your wife is your friend--she can even be your homie. She AIN'T your boy. Like, at all. You know what I'm saying? That's not her. You're wiping that. She can be your homie, she can be all that, but she ain't your boy. And you gotta keep that in mind. She's wired differently.

"Usually what you want to have [in your relationship] is based on unconditional friendship. And I feel like when you are in a relationship and that friendship is tested, it's one of those things that you have to then look back on. And for me, that was something that I always kind of, we kind of had. When you have that friendship, you are usually dealing with the true essence of the person."

How important is it to showcase the positive and the realness of Black Love to your kids?

Oh, it's important. But I got to say that, our children need to see all of us--all of who we are. You know, they're gonna see the fun couple. They're going to see the responsible couple. They're gonna see the silly couple, but they're also gonna see the couple that's very strong in terms of being disciplinary. They're going to see us talk about spirituality, they're gonna hear us cuss every now and again. Just all the facets of us. But the one thing that we make sure our children do see is that real Black love. I think it's important for my sons to see black women as the standard of beauty, as queens, as the standard of real love and just the kind of connection you should have and the respect. And the uplifting, they see me trying to be uplifting, and saying positive things. And it's the same thing with their mother towards me. There's always hugs and kisses, there's always love in this house.

We made it very clear when we start having children, we're not dealing with the nonsense and we're not going to perpetuate the kinds of things that we saw. The negativity that's passed on from couples to couples, to generation after generation.

Thinking forward to another 20 years from now, when you look back at your marriage, what love legacy do you hope it leaves?

I would love for my children and their children's children to say that our father and mother, grandfather and grandmother--tried to set an example for us. To give us the tools, to give us the principles, to give us the standards and to give us the roadmap we needed to live up to our full potential. And so I hope that in 20 years, we could continue to build on that legacy of being the best versions of ourselves.

Business Ethics is available to stream now via Amazon Prime Video, Google Play, and iTunes. And for more of Larenz, keep up with him on Instagram.