Rom-coms are cool and all, but black love hit different when you see it happen in real life, and the fictional romance portrayed in Love Jones doesn't hold a candle to the real-life love story between Larenz Tate and his wife Tomasina Parrott. The couple, who will celebrate 13 years of marriage in November, parent four children together and say that today, their love has just as much passion as the day they met.
Larenz recently sat down with the hosts of The Breakfast Club and explained that after more than a decade, their romance in their relationship is so lit that they have to sleep in separate bedrooms at night:
"There's a lot of stress in the world. I go home, I gotta stay away from my wife. I can't look at her too long. The loins are tender, she's very fertile, and I just try to stay away from her man. I sleep in a different room. When it's time for me to get a little somethin-somethin, she turns up pregnant, all the time."
Larenz explained that while they dated for six years before officially marrying, the connection was instant.
"When I met my wife, I felt like this was a good thing. We dated for a while. We dated for six years before we actually got married. She needed to know if she really wanted to rock with me [and] all my craziness. I was like 'You still want to rock me? You know what I like, I like the ladies.' And she was like 'Look man, get your mind right.'"
The 44-year-old actor shared that along with patience, transparency has been an extremely important part of maintaining the magic in their marriage.
"The great thing about us is the compatibility, which is really, really important. And the honesty, and just being upfront. In our relationship, it's important for us to create what we want to create, as opposed to what everybody else is creating in their households and their relationship."
While Larenz has had a great example of what melaniny matrimony looks like firsthand from his parents, who have been happily married for decades, he and his wife try their hardest to create a foundation for their relationship based on their own experiences:
"We take the best parts of relationships that we've seen and we try to incorporate it into our own. But our walk is not going to be anyone else's walk. This is our thing. It's not always easy obviously, being in the entertainment industry. There are a lot of pitfalls that are always around, and you have to have a sense of self and understanding the value of who you are and what you have."
While the pressures of Hollywood may be tempting, Larenz says he has everything he needs at home.
"There's always enticing things around you. None of us are perfect. My wife is my best friend and she understands that. We rockin."
Watch the full interview below!
Larenz Tate Talks 'Power' Conflicts, Healthy Lifestyle, Supporting Blackness + Morewww.youtube.com
Featured image by Getty Images.
In a xoNecoleexclusive, the iconic actress opens up about embracing this season of her life, new projects, and overall being a “bad motherfucker.” Gabrielle reveals that she was 37 years old when she was diagnosed with perimenopause and is still going through it at 51 years old. Mayo Clinic says perimenopause “refers to the time during which your body makes the natural transition to menopause, marking the end of the reproductive years.”
“I haven't crossed over the next phase just yet, but I think part of it is when you hear any form of menopause, you automatically think of your mother or grandmother. It feels like an old-person thing, but for me, I was 37 and like not understanding what that really meant for me. And I don't think we focus so much on the word menopause without understanding that perimenopause is just the time before menopause,” she tells us.
Gabrielle Union
Photo by Brian Thomas
"But you can experience a lot of the same things during that period that people talk about, that they experienced during menopause. So you could get a hot flash, you could get the weight gain, the hair loss, depression, anxiety, like all of it, mental health challenges, all of that can come, you know, at any stage of the menopausal journey and like for me, I've been in perimenopause like 13, 14 years. When you know, most doctors are like, ‘Oh, but it's usually about ten years, and I'm like, ‘Uhh, I’m still going (laughs).’”
Conversations about perimenopause, fibroids, and all the things that are associated with women’s bodies have often been considered taboo and thus not discussed publicly. However, times are changing, and thanks to the Gabrielle’s and the Tia Mowry’s, more women are having an authentic discourse about women’s health. These open discussions lead to the creation of more safe spaces and support for one another.
“I want to be in community with folks. I don't ever want to feel like I'm on an island about anything. So, if I can help create community where we are lacking, I want to be a part of that,” she says. “So, it's like there's no harm in talking about it. You know what I mean? Like, I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change. I'm just getting better and stronger and more intelligent, more wise, more patient, more compassionate, more empathetic. All of that is very, very welcomed, and none of it should be scary.”
The Being Mary Jane star hasn’t been shy about her stance on therapy. If you don’t know, here’s a hint: she’s all for it, and she encourages others to try it as well. She likens therapy to dating by suggesting that you keep looking for the right therapist to match your needs. Two other essential keys to her growth are radical transparency and radical acceptance (though she admits she is still working on the latter).
"I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change."
Gabrielle Union and Kaavia Union-Wade
Photo by Monica Schipper/Getty Images
“I hope that a.) you recognize that you're not alone. Seek out help and know that it's okay to be honest about what the hell is happening in your life. That's the only way that you know you can get help, and that's also the only other way that people know that you are in need if there's something going on,” she says, “because we have all these big, very wild, high expectations of people, but if they don't know what they're actually dealing with, they're always going to be failing, and you will always be disappointed. So how about just tell the truth, be transparent, and let people know where you are. So they can be of service, they can be compassionate.”
Gabrielle’s transparency is what makes her so relatable, and has so many people root for her. Whether through her TV and film projects, her memoirs, or her social media, the actress has a knack for making you feel like she’s your homegirl. Scrolling through her Instagram, you see the special moments with her family, exciting new business ventures, and jaw-dropping fashion moments. Throughout her life and career, we’ve seen her evolve in a multitude of ways. From producing films to starting a haircare line to marriage and motherhood, her journey is a story of courage and triumph. And right now, in this season, she’s asking, “What’s next?”
“This is a season of discovery and change. In a billion ways,” says the NAACP Image Award winner. “The notion of like, ‘Oh, so and so changed. They got brand new.’ I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
"I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
She continues, “So I'm just trying to figure out what's next. You know what I mean? I'm jumping into what's next. I'm excited going into what's next and new. I'm just sort of embracing all of what life has to offer.”
Look out for Gabrielle in the upcoming indie film Riff Raff, which is a crime comedy starring her and Jennifer Coolidge, and she will also produce The Idea of You, which stars Anne Hathaway.
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Feature image by Mike Lawrie/Getty Images
