
Hands down, sex is one of the greatest things that life has to offer. Anyone who's had some great sex before can 1000 percent vouch for that. And while the act itself is fantastically bar none, all on its own, if you've been with your partner for a while and/or you're someone who likes to be sexually spontaneous as much as possible, it can only help your bedroom (or wherever you prefer to have sex) experiences to be intentional about finding ways to make things feel exciting and new.
That's why, every time a new season rolls around, I try and find a way to give some sex tips that directly apply to it. This time last year, I wrote, "Here's How To Have Some Really Great Fall-Themed Sex". This year, since Halloween is one of the two main holidays that autumn has to offer, I thought I'd share a few ways to incorporate it into your sex life—whether you plan on going trick-or-treating this year or not.
1. Send Trick-or-Treat Texts Throughout the Day
Something that most men and women are able to agree on is sex isn't just about the meshing of bodies. It's also about connecting on a mental level. One way to flirt with your partner, in the hours leading into Halloween, is to send them some trick-or-treat texts; only, make sure they come with a bit of a twist. Customarily, Halloween tricks come in a form of some sort of mischief, so you can ask your partner a trivia question about your relationship or even about your sex life or particular turn-ons. Treats are traditionally given in the form of candy or money. So, if your partner gets the answer right, you can reward them with either or both.
For instance, you can shoot a text during their lunch hour asking them, "trick or treat?" If they say trick, respond with, "What's my favorite sex position?" If they get the answer right, let them know that their favorite candy will be placed…on a very intimate part of their body, in order for you to lick it off. If they get the answer wrong, they have to "treat you" instead.
2. Get Some Pumpkin-Scented Soy Candles
It's kind of hard to imagine Halloween without a pumpkin being around somewhere. Well, here's the thing about pumpkins as it specifically relates to sex—I've shared before that there are studies to support that when a man catches a whiff of the pumpkin scent (especially when it is mixed with lavender), he gets aroused 40 percent faster than other smells. So, why not turn off all the overhead lighting and light up some pumpkin-scented soy ("soy" because they burn longer and cleaner) candles?
If you want to create an authentic Halloween theme, you can even put the candles inside of a jack-o'-lantern or two. And if you really wanna set off the Halloween theme right, you can make some edible webs outta cotton candy too (click here or here for step-by-step instructions).
3. Also, Get Some Pumpkin (and Lavender) Essential Oil
If it's been a minute since you and/or your partner has had a nice and soothing massage, create your own massage oil by adding some pumpkin and lavender essential oil to a carrier oil like sweet almond, avocado or jojoba oil. Put between 5-7 drops of each oil, per 1/3 cup of carrier oil, and zap the combo in your microwave for around 15-20 seconds. Things will be popping up, all over the place, the moment you apply the oil…if you know what I mean. #wink
4. Make Some Liquor-Filled Chocolates
What would Halloween be without bringing some chocolate into the mix? Not only does it taste great, but since it's a food that has phenylethylamine and serotonin in it, and since those are chemicals that are considered to be mood boosters and sexual stimulants, chocolate also makes the list of being an aphrodisiac; especially if it's dark chocolate.
This year, rather than just eating a Kit-Kat and calling it a day, surprise your partner by making some liquor-filled chocolate candies (you know, since alcohol is one way to totally turn up the dial on a lit sexual evening). While it might sound a little complex at first, after checking out a couple of recipes (here and here), you might find that this is something you'll wanna do year-round.
5. Serve Up a Lil’ Jekyll & Gin Glowing Cocktails
In sticking with the Halloween and alcohol theme, how about making a couple of Jekyll & Gin Glowing Cocktails? They're super easy to make. All you need is some gin, grenadine, lemon juice, lemon/lime soda and ice. What I like about this particular drink is, if you shine a black light on it, it'll literally glow in the dark. As far as where to find a blacklight, your local Walmart is one of the many places that carries them.
(By the way, the recipe calls for tonic water but that can actually tank a man's libido; swap it out with something like Sprite and you'll be all good. You can cop the recipe here).
6. Dress Up
Something that Halloween and people who have a healthy sexy life tend to have in common is fantasy is incorporated quite a bit. This Halloween, bring some newness into your boudoir by dressing up. It can be in a costume or it can be simply taking your lingerie game to a whole 'nother level. While you're at it, ask your partner about a fantasy they have that has yet to be fulfilled. You rolling up, as fine as you wanna be, with you both having a mutual desire to make a couple of sex fantasies come true, could easily turn Halloween into your favorite holiday of all-time!
7. Do Some Neck Biting (Well, Kinda)
When it comes to getting and keeping you and your partner in the mood, enough can't be said about foreplay. A part of being a foreplay master is making sure to hit the right spots which are oftentimes known as erogenous zones or pressure points. Well, a place that is especially sensitive is the neck. In fact, if you Google other articles on this particular topic, you're gonna be hard-pressed to not see the neck come up. It's sensitive. It's sexy. And it's one of the true hot spots for arousal for both men as well as women.
And since vampires are something that often come to mind during this particular holiday, don't just kiss the neck—do some light nibbling too. If you add a little bit of cinnamon oil to the area first, it will provide a warm tingle for your partner and a hint of spicy sweetness for you.
8. Go Apple Bobbing (Again…Well, Kinda)
Here's some of y'all's something new for the day, I'm sure. Did you know that apple bobbing (you know, when folks put their head into a bucket of water, in the attempts of getting an apple out) is tied to a female fertility ritual? Not only that but, on the sex tip, apple bobbing can be another way to refer to fellatio. Plus (get this), it can also be when a man inserts a piece of an apple out of a woman and tries to get it out with his mouth. While I'm all for folks having a true adventurous time, putting actual food into your vagina can be a bit risky (especially if you're unable to get it all out). However, a nice alternative is to get your hands on some apple-flavored lubricant that you and your partner can put on your genitalia. Consider it apple bobbing—with a twist.
9. Incorporate Favorite Candies into Foreplay
If you don't have a massage oil candle, why the heck not? There is something that is super sensual about dripping hot wax onto your partner and having them return the favor. For Halloween, rather than going with a candle, how about bringing some of your favorite candies, along with a lighter, into the mix? Whether it's a Starburst, a Snickers bar or (ugh, why Lord, why?!) some candy corn—it's a sweeter take on the massage candle theme. It'll open your eyes to enjoy candy in a totally erotic kind of way.
10. Surprise Your Partner in the Middle of the Night
Halloween is alright in the day, but it's not until after the sun sets that things really get mysterious…fun…interesting. Even if you and your partner go around before turning in at night, go for a surprise second round in the middle of the night. Whether it's full-on intercourse, a quickie or oral sex, it'll be the kind of treat that will make you both glad that you decided to put a sexual twist onto Halloween this year. No doubt about it. Happy Halloween, y'all. Enjoy it to the (sexual) fullest!
Featured image by GIFS
Exclusive: Viral It Girl Kayla Nicole Is Reclaiming The Mic—And The Narrative
It’s nice to have a podcast when you’re constantly trending online. One week after setting timelines ablaze on Halloween, Kayla Nicole released an episode of her Dear Media pop culture podcast, The Pre-Game, where she took listeners behind the scenes of her viral costume.
The 34-year-old had been torn between dressing up as Beyoncé or Toni Braxton, she says in the episode. She couldn’t decide which version of Bey she’d be, though. Two days before the holiday, she locked in her choice, filming a short recreation of Braxton’s “He Wasn’t Man Enough for Me” music video that has since garnered nearly 6.5M views on TikTok.
Kayla Nicole says she wore a dress that was once worn by Braxton herself for the Halloween costume. “It’s not a secret Toni is more on the petite side. I’m obsessed with all 5’2” of her,” she tells xoNecole via email. “But I’m 5’10'' and not missing any meals, honey, so to my surprise, when I got the dress and it actually fit, I knew it was destiny.”
The episode was the perfect way for the multihyphenate to take control of her own narrative. By addressing the viral moment on her own platform, she was able to stir the conversation and keep the focus on her adoration for Braxton, an artist she says she grew up listening to and who still makes her most-played playlist every year. Elsewhere, she likely would’ve received questions about whether or not the costume was a subliminal aimed at her ex-boyfriend and his pop star fiancée. “I think that people will try to project their own narratives, right?” she said, hinting at this in the episode. “But, for me personally – I think it’s very important to say this in this moment – I’m not in the business of tearing other women down. I’m in the business of celebrating them.”
Kayla Nicole is among xoNecole’s It Girl 100 Class of 2025, powered by SheaMoisture, recognized in the Viral Voices category for her work in media and the trends she sets on our timelines, all while prioritizing her own mental and physical health. As she puts it: “Yes, I’m curating conversations on my podcast The Pre-Game, and cultivating community with my wellness brand Tribe Therepē.”
Despite being the frequent topic of conversation online, Kayla Nicole says she’s learning to take advantage of her growing social media platform without becoming consumed by it. “I refuse to let the internet consume me. It’s supposed to be a resource and tool for connection, so if it becomes anything beyond that I will log out,” she says.
On The Pre-Game, which launched earlier this year, she has positioned herself as listeners “homegirl.” “There’s definitely a delicate dance between being genuine and oversharing, and I’ve had to learn that the hard way. Now I share from a place of reflection, not reaction,” she says. “If it can help someone feel seen or less alone, I’ll talk about it within reason. But I’ve certainly learned to protect parts of my life that I cherish most. I share what serves connection but doesn’t cost me peace.
"I refuse to let the internet consume me. It’s supposed to be a resource and tool for connection, so if it becomes anything beyond that I will log out."

Credit: Malcolm Roberson
Throughout each episode, she sips a cocktail and addresses trending topics (even when they involve herself). It’s a platform the Pepperdine University alumnus has been preparing to have since she graduated with a degree in broadcast journalism, with a concentration in political science.
“I just knew I was going to end up on a local news network at the head anchor table, breaking high speed chases, and tossing it to the weather girl,” she says. Instead, she ended up working as an assistant at TMZ before covering sports as a freelance reporter. (She’s said she didn’t work for ESPN, despite previous reports saying otherwise.) The Pre-Game combines her love for pop culture and sports in a way that once felt inaccessible to her in traditional media.
She’s not just a podcaster, though. When she’s not behind the mic, taking acting classes or making her New York Fashion Week debut, Kayla Nicole is also busy elevating her wellness brand Tribe Therepē, where she shares her workouts and the workout equipment that helps her look chic while staying fit. She says the brand will add apparel to its line up in early 2026.
“Tribe Therepē has evolved into exactly what I have always envisioned. A community of women who care about being fit not just for the aesthetic, but for their mental and emotional well-being too. It’s grounded. It’s feminine. It’s strong,” she says. “And honestly, it's a reflection of where I am in my life right now. I feel so damn good - mentally, emotionally, and physically. And I am grateful to be in a space where I can pour that love and light back into the community that continues to pour into me.”
Tap into the full It Girl 100 Class of 2025 and meet all the women changing game this year and beyond. See the full list here.
Featured image by Malcolm Roberson
What Happens In Vegas Ends In…Wellness? My Black Girl Luxury Weekend At Caesars Palace
Caesars Palace showed me that Las Vegas isn’t just the city that never sleeps — it’s also a place where Black women can rest, play, and find joy.
On TV and in movies, you always see the nightclubs, the casinos, the action of the Strip. And yes, that’s true. So I naturally didn’t think that I could find rest in Vegas, but I’ve never been more glad to be wrong.
Aside from this trip, I’d only been to Vegas once — and it was quick. I was speaking on a panel in LA for CultureCon during Juneteenth weekend when I realized Usher’s residency had a date when I’d be nearby. I bought a last-minute (expensive, but worth it) ticket and flew in for less than 24 hours just to see him. Worth every dime. This time, though, I was curious to see what else the city had for me.
As a guest of Caesars Entertainment, I was invited to experience the softer side of Vegas, specifically their first-ever spa buffet experience. We often look at Vegas as a place for casinos, elaborate shows, world-class dining, and nightlife. Now I won’t debate that all of that is true — but there’s so much overlooked relaxation tucked away in every corner.
Let’s Talk Accommodations
I stayed at Caesars Palace and my suite in the Augustus Tower opened to sparkling views of the Strip, with the Eiffel Tower twinkling in the distance. My itinerary was filled with champagne dinners, luxury SUV car service by Caesars Entertainment (that knew how to navigate around the Strip traffic effortlessly), and hours indulging in their new All You Can Spa program at The LINQ — a playful twist on the buffets the city is so famous for.
Honestly, my first thought of Caesars Palace was Think Like a Man Too, which was filmed here. But walking into the property myself, it felt bigger, grander. Like I’d stepped out of the country without leaving the desert. Caesars Palace was originally built to bring the grandeur of Rome to the strip— and it worked. The first time I experienced Rome was as a teenager, and staying here felt like I had some of that nostalgia with me, only a four-hour flight away.

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From my room, I could see the Eiffel Tower glittering across the way. All of it, as designed, felt very royal. My dad has called me the Princess of Zamunda since I was little (so much so that I thought Zamunda was a real place lol), so it was very on-brand for me to stay at Caesars Palace for her first full weekend in Vegas.
Because the legendary Qua Baths & Spa at Caesars Palace was under renovation (I can’t wait to return when it opens), I had the chance to try The Spa at The LINQ — home of the new All You Can Spa experience. And truthfully, every treatment felt curated just for me. Guests are given four hours to build their own spa “buffet,” choosing from facials, scrubs, wraps, and massages.
Here’s every service I had:

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- 80-Minute CBD Mud Wrap with Foot Massage My first mud wrap ever. The therapist guided me through it, even letting me feel the clay, and ended with a foot massage I’m still dreaming about. She was so sweet and a local who gave me the 411 on how to experience the Strip the way locals do.
- 50-Minute Signature Facial I was paired with a Black esthetician who understood my skin. She gave me thoughtful recommendations and sealed my treatment with a serum that left me glowing and ready for a night out. She even complimented me on my daily skin care.
- 50-Minute Body Scrub I’ve never been a scrub girl (I had a Turkish scrub once that turned me off), but this one converted me. My skin felt renewed, and she even warmed up my lotion.
- 80-Minute Mind & Body Massage with Hot Stones + CBD I love firm pressure, and my therapist delivered. She let me choose an aromatherapy blend called Love, and the hot stones melted every ounce of tension.
All of my therapists were women of color, and that intentionality mattered to me. Each service ended with an affirmation card, and I left every treatment feeling cared for in a way that was personal.
Between services, I had a champagne lunch that felt like an episode of Girlfriends. I remembered watching those spa-day scenes growing up, thinking I couldn’t wait to have moments like that as a grown woman. Sitting there in my robe with my best friend beside me, sipping champagne and catching up on life before we got into the action and excitement of Vegas is a moment I’ll always remember. That and how crisp those grapes were that they had on our charcuterie board.

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My Black Girl Luxury Vegas Recs
- Nobu at Caesars Palace My welcome dinner and the perfect kickoff to the weekend. Yellowtail jalapeño, wagyu beef, spicy tuna, shishito peppers, and a 24K gold-draped dessert you’ll only find in Vegas. Pure decadence. I also peeked at the Nobu Hotel tucked inside Caesars. If I came back, I’d definitely stay there.
- Rock + Roe at Caesars Palace I’m more of a R&B girly than rock-and-roll, but after some Veuve Clicquot and two caviar bumps, I was singing along to Stevie Wonder’s "Superstition," making friends with strangers (I had a very funny chat with a couple next to me who thought I was stood up and then discovered I was a journalist on a work trip and loved that for me) and I ended up staying until they closed at 2 a.m.
- Flamingo’s GO Pool Cabanas The go pool just underwent a $20 million renovation - and they truly spared no expense. My cabana felt more like a living room by the pool than a daybed, complete with couches, flat-screen TVs, IV drips, and a swim-up bar. I loved being close enough to the energy but tucked away enough to nap in peace, and I appreciated that they offered both cocktails and mocktails.
- Bacchanal Buffet One of the best brunch restaurants in Vegas. I went for the crab brunch, with short rib benedict, hashbrowns, eggs, seafood towers, and southern breakfast options that rival my favorite spots when I visit family in the deep South.
- Caramella at Planet Hollywood Their king crab scampi with fresh capers changed my life — and I was literally whisked into their speakeasy hidden behind a wall that looked like a candy shop. I thought the manager was just offering me a sweet for the road, but instead I ended up in a stunning club with some of the best music I heard all weekend. My only regret? Not staying longer because I had tickets to DISCOSHOW at The LINQ which was also fun! It felt like I was being transported back into the 70s and each floor had their own speakeasy bar.

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What I Love Most About Vegas: It’s A Side Quest Playground
You could start your day at a crab brunch, end up in a salt cave by 3 p.m., and then find yourself in a beach club at 3 a.m. screaming every word while Jeezy performs. That kind of spontaneity felt healing in its own way.
As we get older, side quests become things we tell ourselves we don’t have time for. But the truth is, we need them more. Life gets heavier, and joy becomes an act of radical self-care. A reminder that you deserve to rest deeply and play wildly. There’s room for both.
Black women are leading leisure travel spending in the U.S., yet simultaneously report some of the highest daily stress levels. That’s why side quests aren’t indulgent for us. They’re necessary. Escapes filled with 24-karat gold desserts, naps in luxurious cabanas, healing waters, and spa days with our best friends aren’t frivolous — they’re what keep us grounded and remind us that rest and joy can coexist.
Black women don’t always get the mental space to play. Even if we have the financial means, so many of us don’t have the time or permission to just… daydream. To imagine. To follow a whim. Vegas gave me that space — and reminded me how much I deserve it. I can’t wait for my next side quest, whether it’s in Vegas or halfway across the world.
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