With 2024 around the corner, a lot of us are starting to think about future goals. What new ideas do I want to bring to life, or what am I currently working on that needs improvement? I’ll be transparent in saying that improving my finances has been an ongoing challenge. I mean, sure, I’m generally stable. But “stable” isn’t enough to invest how I’d like or significantly save as desired. And while it’s not everyone’s favorite subject to bring to the dinner table, I realize a lot of my peers are facing the same problem. Especially in this economy, chile.
That’s why I was super excited to speak with personal finance coach, author, and certified financial instructor Rachael Hanible, a 36-year old Philly-native who has paid off over $92,000 in debt, saved a year's worth of her income, and sports a credit score of 846. In this conversation with xoNecole, she shared her finance journey, along with a few helpful tips for the girlies trying to make money moves (cues, Cardi B).
First, I have to say paying off over $90,000 worth of debt is amazing. Can you tell me a little bit about that journey? How did you cultivate it, and when was the moment you knew you wanted to change your situation?
It was a mixture of a few things. There was some student loan debt there. Plus, I had a car note and credit card debt. I grew up poor, but I never felt like that was God’s plan for my life. I always said I was a millionaire-in-training and spoke about the things I’d do when I’m wealthy. And I woke up one day with an idea of being debt-free, even though I didn’t know anyone who was. I was in school working at a convenience store, making $8/hr. when I had the bright idea. But after I finished college, I revisited the thought, and that’s when the plan started.
"I grew up poor, but I never felt like that was God’s plan for my life. I always said I was a millionaire-in-training and spoke about the things I’d do when I’m wealthy. And I woke up one day with an idea of being debt-free, even though I didn’t know anyone who was."
So many of us want to do that but struggle to make it a reality. What was your process?
I got a job doing accounting after my college job. One day, I just calculated all of my debt and discovered how much was being added to my student loan daily. In my mind, I just wanted to cut down the days that I owed that money, and I applied the same principle to my car note. I started with an extra $5 to my student loans and an extra $20 to my car note. And I was consistent with that idea as I continued to find and grow more income. Now I’m almost 13 years in with no car payment and 11 years with no student loan debt.
Did you always have a good relationship with money?
No (laughs). I went to school for business law, and one of my first assignments was to get a subscription to Wall Street Journal, but I held on to it after the assignment. I started to read about investing, ROTH IRAs, and more. They were mentioning words I never heard before, and that started my journey to learning more.
Just curious, what was your biggest splurge before you got here?
Probably shoes. I have over 100 pairs of shoes (laughs).
You gotta treat yourself sometimes, right?
Girl, not that much (laughs).
Photo courtesy of Rachael Hanible
Well, did you ever work any crazy jobs to get by?
Nothing too crazy because I’ve always been big on integrity over income. But I used to teach Excel classes in my apartment. People from churches would send their registration list, I’d reach out, and they’d come to my little one-bedroom and learn.
It’s giving hustler more than crazy, but I can appreciate the full-circleness of it all. Because, today, how much do you save monthly?
Right now, my major goal is to pay off my 30-year mortgage in eight years, and I have one more year to go. So I’d say I’m averaging about $3K a month toward saving or putting toward my home loans.
That’s incredible. But I’m curious – it’s hard enough to shift your finances the way you did. What triggered you to transform this skill into a business?
For years, I was helping people, and that continued to grow. People actually told me I should start charging – so I did.
You offer a lot more, though, right? Talk to me about your multiple streams.
Yes, it started with that one thing: talking and helping people. But when you solve one problem, people will send you bigger problems. So, it developed into classes for kids. Those sessions start at age three and go all the way to college-aged. Also, I’m an author and teach about real estate, budgeting, and credit.
What’s been your biggest business challenge so far?
Even though it's a sexy subject now, no one wanted to talk about this years ago. In the beginning, people didn’t wanna hear from a Black woman with no kids and no husband about financial literacy. For whatever reason, people felt like those things didn’t make me relatable. Like, of course, she can do this if she doesn’t have kids. It was difficult; that was something I really had to fight through.
Ugh, that's ridiculous. Did you have a person or tribe to confide in? Who do you talk to?
Yes, I talk to my mom. She’s a pastor. Then there’s my big sister, who is a mixture of the church and the streets and, of course, my best friend. She’s all the way left (laughs). I come to them for business and relationships. They are all fair and give me encouragement.
From working with diverse clientele, have you picked up on any popular unhealthy spending habits?
The habits are connected to the mindset. The mindset controls your access. Unfortunately, a lot of us don’t feel like freedom, luxury, or wealth is for us. Whether we have $5 or $5,000. I think once we shift that mindset, we’ll be able to hold on to it more.
"The habits are connected to the mindset. The mindset controls your access. Unfortunately, a lot of us don’t feel like freedom, luxury, or wealth is for us. Whether we have $5 or $5,000. I think once we shift that mindset, we’ll be able to hold on to it more."
How would you define wealth?
I define wealth as freedom and options. There are people waking up to do things they don’t want to do because they need the money and people going to sleep not doing what they want because they don’t have the money. Wealth is being able to make decisions when and how you want.
Okay, it’s time for you to teach us your ways. What investments do you currently have? Can you give us exact names?
Sure, I have a traditional 401k, Roth IRA, brokerage account, and a high-yield savings account. And every month, money goes into everything I just mentioned.
When it comes to investing, I’ve heard conflicting advice. Some people say you should start making investments as soon as you have consistent money coming in, and others suggest waiting and building more first. What’s your perspective?
I think we should have an emergency fund, especially now. You need something you can access quickly. For my clients, I always suggest setting a freedom number in case something happens. And then, after that, we do an even split of investing and saving. Inflation isn’t going anywhere, so we have to make our money grow.
"Inflation isn't going anywhere, so we have to make our money grow."
Photo courtesy of Rachael Hanible
And when it comes to budgeting, how detailed do we need to be?
Very. There are so many of us that work so hard for our money and don’t know where it’s going. Small things can go a long way. A lot of us are throwing small amounts of money away every day; that can add up, especially if you’re living paycheck-to-paycheck or have big goals.
What needs to be included on that budget? Can you share a must-have?
Build for fun in your budget now and freedom for the future. You need a healthy balance for it to be successful and realistic.
Do you have a money mantra that you swear by?
I still say I'm a millionaire-in-training. Now I have all my kids in class saying that. And I end all my classes by reminding people that even though they now have the knowledge and inspiration, only they can make the decision to change.
What’s been your biggest lesson through this process?
God takes care of the people who take care of His people. When I first started, I didn’t have the jazzy marketing and photo shoots, but people could tell my heart was connected to this. And I think that’s why, after ten years, I’m still getting new clients, contracts, and etc. There’s so much content about how to make your business grow, but the most important thing is to care and be passionate about what you’re doing.
What advice would you give to aspiring entrepreneurs?
Do something that you would do for free. People say you’ll never work a day in your life if you’re doing what you love. That’s not true. There’s gonna be some piece of your purpose that you’re not gonna like. But if you’d do it for free, that will tell you everything about longevity and if you’re doing it from your heart.
Things you’re gonna learn: taking the stairs is essential. If you try and take the fast lane, you’re gonna get to some levels you’re not prepared for. So, do it for free first and take the stairs.
Finally, what is your ultimate saving goal?
I don’t want any debt. Also, being able to make sure my mom is comfortable – she’s had some health challenges. I want to be able to do what I love without worrying about bills, and I want to be able to serve the people and not count pennies in the process.
I think it’s safe to say she’s well on her way.
To learn more about Rachael, connect with her on social media at @peptalks_ and visit her website at rachaelhanible.com.
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Feature image courtesy of Rachael Hanible
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Ding. Ding. DING.
A life coach by the name of Thomas Leonard once said that “Clarity affords focus” and, believe you me, when it comes to dealing with other human beings, if you don’t get clear on where you stand when it comes to your interactions with them, you can very easily find yourself “focusing too much” on those who don’t deserve it and too little on those who absolutely do. And y’all, this lil’ PSA couldn’t be more relevant than when it comes to what I call “casual friendships.”
Let’s dig — and for some of us, dig our way out of — what it means to have a casual friend, so that you can get clear on if you really need those in your life…and if so…why?
Article continues after the video.
It Can’t Be Said Enough: Always Remember What “Casual” Means
GiphyThere’s a reason why I decided to share two videos by mental health coach Isaiah Frizzle at the top and bottom of this article. It’s because a lot of what he shares in both of them complements a piece that I wrote for the platform last year entitled, “This Is Just What Purposeful Relationships Look Like.”
It’s the author M. Scott Peck who once said, “Until you value yourself, you won't value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it” and please believe that the older (and hopefully more mature) you get, the more you tend to see just how valuable — and fleeting — time is; and that is what plays a huge role in motivating you want to only involve yourself with people, places, things and ideas that will honor your time — and when something is casual? In my opinion, it’s highly debatable that it’s worth much of your months, days, hours, or even too many of your minutes.
The main reason why is addressed in an article that I wrote back in the day entitled, “We Should Really Rethink The Term 'Casual Sex.'” The gist? When it comes to relationships, “casual” is certainly not a favorite word of mine because I know what it means. Have mercy — why would you want to invest your time, energy, and emotions into something that is, by definition, apathetic, indifferent, careless, lacking emotional intimacy, and/or is without purpose?
I don’t know about y’all but that sounds like a complete and total crap shoot to me — especially if you are going to go so far as to consider this type of dynamic a true friendship (check out “Ever Wonder If A Friend Is Just...Not That Into You?,” “6 Signs You're About To Make A Huge Mistake In Making Them A Close Friend,” “5 Signs Of A Toxic Friendship That Is Secretly Poisoning Your Life,” “12 Friend Facts That Might Cause You To Rethink (Some Of) Your Own,” and “Less & Less Of Us Have Close Friends These Days. Why Is That?” ).
To me, when you decide to call someone “friend,” it means that they are loyal, reliable, consistent, trustworthy and willing to be there to support you to the very best of their ability — even if it’s inconvenient to do so sometimes (check out “Life Taught Me That True Friendships Are 'Inconvenient'”). How in the world can you expect that from something that has the word “casual” in it?
And you know what? That actually segues into my next point about casual friendships pretty darn well.
Ponder the Purpose “Casual Friends” Serve in Your Life
GiphyA couple of years ago, Verywell Mind published an article entitled, “How the 4 Types of Friendship Fit Into Your Life.” The four that it listed were acquaintances (which I actually don’t consider to be friends; check out “6 Differences Between A Close Acquaintance And An Actual Friend”), casual friends, close friends, and lifelong friends. After reading the piece, I think they consider casual friends to be the “pleasure” friends that I mentioned in the article, “According To Aristotle, We Need ‘Utility’, ‘Pleasure’ & ‘Good’ Friends.”
And although I certainly get that, I think my “cause for pause” is calling those people “friends” when they probably should be called something like an associate or possibly even a buddy instead. Why do I feel this way? Well, I’ve shared in other articles that I think social media has jacked up vocabulary words and their true meaning on a billion different levels.
Take “friend,” for example. Facebook had us out here calling everyone we connected to on their platform “friends” when some of them, we’ve never even spoken to before — and I personally think that influenced, affected and perhaps even infected our psyche to the point where we will call folks, both online and off, “friend” even when they haven’t earned it and/or who possibly don’t deserve it.
That said, do I think that we all could use lighthearted interactions that don’t go very deep and are filled with not much more than fun? Sure. However, if we were to move this over into a sexual thing — those types of people would probably be called a sneaky link, and there is nothing significant or substantial about ‘em. In fact, if anything pretty much automatically comes with an expiration date, sneaky links would have to be it.
And that’s kind of the point that I’m trying to make about a casual friend — so long as you know that the word “casual” is being used to describe them, while you may enjoy the people who fit that bill, they aren’t really anything that you can or even should fully rely on. Instead, take them for what they are and don’t really expect much more than that. Otherwise, you could be in for some profound levels of disappointment. And who wants that?
Final point.
How a Casual Friend Can Become a Huge Red Flag
GiphyI’m telling you, y’all gonna quit clowning Tubi. LOL. To me, the best way to describe it is it’s the Cricket of current streaming apps. What I mean by that is, back when Cricket (the cell phone service) first came out, people, like me, who used it service got incessantly clowned because it was seen as a bootleg provider. Now it’s owned by AT&T, and as someone who has rocked with them since I was in my 20s, I don’t have one regret for doing so. Cricket has always been good to me, chile.
And Tubi? Well, when you get a chance, check out CNBC’s article, “CEO at 33, Tubi’s Anjali Sud on success hacks she learned at Amazon, IAC on way to top of Fox streaming” — take note of the moves the streaming app is making and the quality of programming that is transpiring in real time.
Anyway, I find myself bringing up Tubi more and more in my content because it helps to amplify some of the points that I like to make. This time, it’s a movie that’s (currently) on there calledRight Man, Wrong Woman. If you haven’t seen it before, I don’t want to give too much of the film away. What I will say is that the main female character, she had a casual friend and then she had a close friend.
That casual friend—the one who liked to kick it all of the time—was a lot of fun; however, dealing with her came with a ton of semi-unforeseen consequences. Meanwhile, the close friend? She’s what the Aristotle article (that I mentioned earlier) would call the “good friend” because she tried her best to hold her friend accountable.
And really, it shouldn’t be a shock that the casual friend turned out to be a plum trip because if someone is loads of entertainment and pleasure and yet they are indifferent towards you, they make careless decisions around you and/or they don’t really make known the purpose for you being in their life other than to pass some time — where really do you and that person have to go past drinks after work or dinner on a rooftop restaurant from time to time? And if that is all that the two of you are doing, again, why are they deserving of the word “friend”?
Hmph and don’t get me started on the lack of reciprocity that typically transpires when it comes to dealing with people like this because, while they won’t mind you spending your coins on them, taking their calls in the middle of the night or listening to all of their issues — when it comes time for them to show up for you, they very well may gaslight you into thinking that you are being dramatic, clingy or “doing the most.” Why? Well, it’s mostly because the two of you never really established what the hell the both of you are to one another.
And so, while you’re somewhere taking them seriously, they are out here seeing you casually, and as much as it might hurt to hear, that doesn’t automatically or necessarily make them a bad person. You shouldn’t expect much where no clarity is involved. After all, casual is just that: CASUAL.
____
I’m hoping that you can now see why I entitled this piece in the way that I did. It’s because a red flag is pretty much a warning, and to me, a casual friend is about as big of an oxymoron (again, to me) as casual sex is. Friends and sex are both too intimate to be seen or treated casually. Oh, but if you step out and take that risk, you could find yourself getting far more involved than the other individual ever wanted to go, because casual is how things have always been. “Friend” was simply to get you more mentally and emotionally invested. SMDH.
American columnist Walter Winchell once said, “A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.” A wise person once said, “One good friendship will outlive forty average loves." Former President Ulysses S. Grant once said, “The friend in my adversity I shall always cherish most. I can better trust those who helped to relieve the gloom of my dark hours than those who are so ready to enjoy with me the sunshine of my prosperity.” Does any of this sound casual to you? Yeah, me neither.
Again, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t have people in your life who aren’t on deep levels. I’m just saying that you might want to consider putting them into another category than friend, because what friends do for people? There ain’t nothin’ even remotely casual about it, sis. Not even a lil’ bit.
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