After switching your tassel to the appropriate side, you feel a sigh of relief move within your body. You have finally gotten the degree your parents wished for you to have and career counselors helped you get. You are waking up the next day after your graduation high, reality sets in. It would be best if you found a job. Hopefully, you networked and collected valuable numbers to use at a further date, or you've landed an internship at a top tier company. Or, you could be the student who didn't bother to get the extra help and decided to follow your path.
Whatever choice you made, you will encounter a job or a position that isn't the best, but you heard the advice of "getting your foot in the door". Fast-forward to three years later, and you are still in the same position awaiting to get your foot in the door. Before you have a panic attack, I would like to mention that it isn't your fault. You're experiencing what most people experience every day. With that, I blame the companies who have failed their employees.
When the economy came crashing down in 2008, it was tough for anyone to find a job. No matter what degree you had, it was a strong possibility that you wouldn't get paid what you're worth. If you were a new graduate, I'm sure you've hated reading the terms "experience required or experience preferred". It's impossible to gain the experience you need to get the job you want when companies aren't willing to take a risk on you and give you a chance.
As a student or graduate, you've done your part; you got the grades and completed the amount of free time to dedicate yourself to an internship.
As I've gotten into the groove of my career, I'm noticing a trend that I am open and willing to share in hopes to bring a different perspective. Companies are no longer grooming their employees to get promoted. They aren't challenging or encouraging their employees to reach their full potential. For that, I find it shameful. Some of the top Fortune 500 companies don't have a clear-cut training program for their employees, and cross-training is now an afterthought. No matter how many "meetings" you have with your supervisor or manager about your personal goals, it's a 100% possibility that a follow-through on that plan won't even get started.
Departments agree to take on more work and hiring less, leaving the current employees overworked. As you sit at your desk and look at the clock, you tend to wonder if it was worth it. Was the blood, sweat and tears to earn that degree to get the job that you didn't want but desperately needed worth it? After moving on to your fifth job, you notice the same trend. You sit and wonder what exactly you are going to do. You can't pay back your student loans with a minimum wage job.
So, I've created five ways that would help you get in, through, and open the door you wish to desire.
1.Use Your Annual Reviews To Your Advantage
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Before going in to meet with your manager about your yearly evaluation, they will email questions about the past year. They want to know your perspective of your performance, and they will give their view of your return. During that meeting, you and your manager will compare and contrast your responses. There will be a section that says, "Goals". Having set goals allows you to discuss the goals in which you want to achieve. It puts your manager in the hot seat and forced to provide you with an explanation.
2.Ask Questions
What better way to learn a new position than to ask about the job. Even if you know how to complete the duties, ask to show that you are more than interested in learning. Continue to ask questions until they give you a trial run on the position you want. Once that opportunity presents itself, show up and show out. If you make a mistake, acknowledge the error immediately. People admire integrity.
3.Work After Work
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For most, sometimes asking questions and meeting with your manager isn't enough. Sometimes it's best to get the outside help that you need to advance your career. If your position has a certification, then it would be best to study and take the test. If your profession requires additional classes or refresher course, then it would be best to get a certificate of completion. If your position affiliates with any updated news and current events, then prepare for those new changes to your advantage. If studying for your certification isn't in your view, think about ways to improve your position. Sometimes it can be as simple as creating a training manual or studying the software that you use to make sure you are doing your work efficiently. See if your company is having any seminars and attend those. Many companies will offer to pay for your tuition if it's related to your current position.
4.Create An Emergency Fund
The majority of working adults today don't aspire to be at a company for 30+ years. In the 21st century, that has become a rarity. If you ever get the urge to quit or you feel like your position is on the line, it's best to save at least six months of your expenses in an emergency fund. Sometimes stepping away from a company to get the answers you need are best. If you aren't the best at saving, use your EAP benefits through your company to see if they have financial advisors to help guide you to get your savings started.
5.Find A New Job
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If you did everything in your power to improve and climb up the ladder, then maybe it's time to consider your options. IF you don't want to completely start new, it's best to see if any internal positions are available. Seek out a letter of recommendation from one of your co-workers or use them as a reference. Evaluate the skills that you have already and see how they can be used to your advantage when looking for a new position or a new job. Tweak your resume to reflect that. If all else fails, maybe it's time to look deep within yourself and ask if this is a career you can see yourself doing for the rest of your life. Sometimes the worst situation can turn into something more rewarding if you can turn it into a business venture. There are endless inspirational stories of individuals who took that leap of faith and followed their true passion.
I've been in the healthcare industry for five or more years and am currently on my third company. I've met and learned so many things. If I could give any advice to any current graduate or graduates who just got hired, I would say the first three months of any job are the most vital. The company provides you a probationary period to see if you are a good fit within the department and the company. I would suggest that you the employee give the company a mental probationary period. Ask your co-workers questions about their work history or if they received any promotions within the last six months. It's a perfect time to pick their brain and introduce yourself to the higher-ups. Give a two- to three-minute pitch on who you are and what goals you want to achieve. If you leave a lasting impression, those higher-ups will never forget you. Keep a log of your accomplishments. Your task is to convince your supervisor or manager why you qualify for a promotion.
The worst thing you can do is sit and say nothing. You will become that individual who will be stuck in that position asking yourself, 'Why me?'
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
Working Twice As Hard Doesn't Work
10 Ways To Develop An Entrepreneurial Mindset (Whether You Have A Business Or A 9 To 5)
7 Programs To Help Fund Your College Education
This Career Coach Gave Up A $103K Salary To Live In Her Purpose
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Kayla Nicole says she wore a dress that was once worn by Braxton herself for the Halloween costume. “It’s not a secret Toni is more on the petite side. I’m obsessed with all 5’2” of her,” she tells xoNecole via email. “But I’m 5’10'' and not missing any meals, honey, so to my surprise, when I got the dress and it actually fit, I knew it was destiny.”
The episode was the perfect way for the multihyphenate to take control of her own narrative. By addressing the viral moment on her own platform, she was able to stir the conversation and keep the focus on her adoration for Braxton, an artist she says she grew up listening to and who still makes her most-played playlist every year. Elsewhere, she likely would’ve received questions about whether or not the costume was a subliminal aimed at her ex-boyfriend and his pop star fiancée. “I think that people will try to project their own narratives, right?” she said, hinting at this in the episode. “But, for me personally – I think it’s very important to say this in this moment – I’m not in the business of tearing other women down. I’m in the business of celebrating them.”
Kayla Nicole is among xoNecole’s It Girl 100 Class of 2025, powered by SheaMoisture, recognized in the Viral Voices category for her work in media and the trends she sets on our timelines, all while prioritizing her own mental and physical health. As she puts it: “Yes, I’m curating conversations on my podcast The Pre-Game, and cultivating community with my wellness brand Tribe Therepē.”
Despite being the frequent topic of conversation online, Kayla Nicole says she’s learning to take advantage of her growing social media platform without becoming consumed by it. “I refuse to let the internet consume me. It’s supposed to be a resource and tool for connection, so if it becomes anything beyond that I will log out,” she says.
On The Pre-Game, which launched earlier this year, she has positioned herself as listeners “homegirl.” “There’s definitely a delicate dance between being genuine and oversharing, and I’ve had to learn that the hard way. Now I share from a place of reflection, not reaction,” she says. “If it can help someone feel seen or less alone, I’ll talk about it within reason. But I’ve certainly learned to protect parts of my life that I cherish most. I share what serves connection but doesn’t cost me peace.
"I refuse to let the internet consume me. It’s supposed to be a resource and tool for connection, so if it becomes anything beyond that I will log out."
Credit: Malcolm Roberson
Throughout each episode, she sips a cocktail and addresses trending topics (even when they involve herself). It’s a platform the Pepperdine University alumnus has been preparing to have since she graduated with a degree in broadcast journalism, with a concentration in political science.
“I just knew I was going to end up on a local news network at the head anchor table, breaking high speed chases, and tossing it to the weather girl,” she says. Instead, she ended up working as an assistant at TMZ before covering sports as a freelance reporter. (She’s said she didn’t work for ESPN, despite previous reports saying otherwise.) The Pre-Game combines her love for pop culture and sports in a way that once felt inaccessible to her in traditional media.
She’s not just a podcaster, though. When she’s not behind the mic, taking acting classes or making her New York Fashion Week debut, Kayla Nicole is also busy elevating her wellness brand Tribe Therepē, where she shares her workouts and the workout equipment that helps her look chic while staying fit. She says the brand will add apparel to its line up in early 2026.
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Tap into the full It Girl 100 Class of 2025 and meet all the women changing game this year and beyond. See the full list here.
Featured image by Malcolm Roberson
Meanwhile, frankincense and myrrh originate from the Middle East and Africa (you know, like the Bible does — some folks need to be reminded of that—eh hem — Trumpers) and ginger? It too helps with indigestion (which can definitely creep up at Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner tables); plus, it’s a key ingredient for ginger snaps and gingerbread houses. So, as you can see, holiday-themed scents have a rhyme and reason to them.
Tying this all in together — several years ago, I penned an article for the platform entitled, “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry ‘Christmas Sex’?” Well, in the spirit of revisiting some of that content, with a bit of a twist, I decided to broach some traditional holiday scents from the perspective of which ones will do your libido a ton of good from now through New Year’s Eve (check out “Make This Your Best NYE. For Sex. EVER.”).
Are you ready to check some of them out, so that, whether it’s via a candle, a diffuser, some essential oil, or some DIY body cream (check out “How To Incorporate All Five Senses To Have The Best Sex Ever”), you can bring some extra festive ambiance into your own boudoir? Excellent.
1. Vanilla
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When it comes to holiday desserts, you’re going to be hard-pressed to find recipes that don’t include vanilla — and that alone explains why it is considered to be a traditional holiday scent. As far as your libido goes, vanilla is absolutely considered to be an aphrodisiac — partly because its sweet scent is considered to be very sensual. Some studies even reveal that vanillin (the active ingredient in vanilla) is able to increase sexual arousal and improve erectile dysfunction in men. So, if you adore the smell, here is more incentive to use it.
2. Frankincense
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Although, typically, when people think about frankincense (and myrrh), it’s in the context of the gifts that the wise men brought Christ after he was born; it’s a part of the biblical Christmas story. However, frankincense goes much deeper than that. Sexually, since it has an earthy and spicy scent, some people like to use it to meditate (check out “What Exactly Is 'Orgasmic Meditation'?”). Also, since it has the ability to put you in a better mood, soothe and soften your skin and maintain your oral health — with the help of frankincense, every touch and kiss can be that much…sexier.
3. Cinnamon
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I already gave cinnamon a shout-out in the intro. Personally, I’ve been a fan of it, in the sex department, for a long time now (check out “12 ‘Sex Condiments’ That Can Make Coitus Even More...Delicious”). When it’s in oil form, it can be very sweet to the taste while sending a warm sensation throughout the body — which is why the giver and receiver of oral sex can benefit from its usage. Beyond that, cinnamon helps to increase blood flow to your genital region, elevate sexual desire and, some studies say that it can even help improve fertility. Beautiful.
4. Peppermint
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If there’s a signature candy for the holiday season, it’s probably a candy cane — which automatically puts peppermint in the running for being an official holiday scent. Pretty much, in any form, it’s got your sex life’s back because it’s hailed as being a sexual stimulant; in part, because its smell is so invigorating. Plus, it helps to (eh hem) ease headaches, it gives you more energy and it can definitely help to freshen your breath. Also, that minty sensation? The same thing that I said about cinnamon can apply to peppermint too (if you catch my drift).
5. Ginger
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Whether it’s in a meal or in your bedroom, ginger is going to produce results that are hella spicy. On the sex tip, science has praised ginger for being able to increase sexual arousal, improve blood circulation (which intensifies orgasms) and strengthen fertility for many years. Scent-wise, I find it to be one that both men and women enjoy because it is both woodsy and sweet. So, if you’ve got some massage oil in mind, adding some ginger is a way to please you both.
6. Pomegranate
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September through December is the time of year when pomegranates are considered to be in season. And, as someone who is a Rosh Hashanah observer, I have a personal adoration for them because I am aware of the various things that they symbolize in Hebrew culture including the fact that they are a fruit that represents love and fertility. So yeah, they would absolutely be an aphrodisiac — one that is perfect for this time of the year. While consuming it helps to boost testosterone levels in both men and women, the floral bittersweet smell that it produces can help to reduce stress while promoting relaxation (like most floral scents do) — and the more relaxed you are, the easier it is to climax.
7. Nutmeg
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Another signature seasoning during the holiday season is nutmeg. It’s perfect in Thanksgiving sweet potato (or pumpkin) pie and Christmas morning French toast. And yes, it can also make your sex life better. If you consume it, it can intensify your libido and, overall, its warm-meets-spicy-meets-sweet smell is so inviting that it is considered to be a pretty seductive scent.
8. Cloves
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I ain’t got not one lie to tell you — if you’ve got a toothache, put some clove oil on that bad boy and send me a Christmas present for putting you on game. Aside from that, as I round all of this out, cloves are another holiday scent that can do wonders for your sex life. For men, it has the ability to significantly increase sexual arousal and improve stamina and endurance. For men and women alike, it also has a reputation for strengthening sexual desire. And for women solely? Well, if you want an all-natural way to increase natural lubrication down below — the scent and and feel (in DILUTED oil form) can make that happen. It can make the holidays especially special…if you know what I mean.
Ah yes — the atmosphere of the holidays and what it can do.
Take it all in! Scent ‘n whatever stimulating that comes with it! #wink
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