Cuffing Season & COVID-19. Whew, Chile.
Can y'all believe that we're actually back here again? I know I can't. To say that 2020 has been weird AF, I'm well aware is the ultimate understatement but man—I don't recall there ever being a year where it seemed like days stood still while months flew by. Yet since we're here, actually at the end of another October, and also since this is the month when cuffing season officially starts (word on the street is that it ends right around Valentine's Day), I knew I couldn't let us all go into November without first offering up a few tips on how to handle cuffing season, as we're in the midst of a freakin' pandemic—one that is actually predicted to only get worse during the fall and winter months (SMDH).
While some of you might automatically say that such a dire forecast is reason alone to sit this particular cuffing season out, I'm pretty sure there are others who are like, "If there was ever a time when I wanted some cozy companionship to get through a six-month block of cold weather, the time would be now." For those who happen to fall into Column B, this is written with you in mind. If cuffing is what you plan to do, please do it as responsibly as you possibly can, OK?
Don’t “Cuff”, Just for Tradition’s Sake
Lawd, do I have some friends who get as excited about cuffing season as they do about football season. And before you turn up your lips and assume that they're all men, that is absolutely not the case. Several women in my life like cuffing (and football) because this is the time of year when their life slows down a bit more. The inclement weather keeps them from wanting to go out as much as they do during the spring and summertime. Plus, I don't know what it is about those damn Hallmark movies, but they're like emotional catnip when it comes to wanting to have a boo, even if it's just until after those films stop incessantly rolling. Then if you add this year's pandemic into the mix—since those of us who still have some common sense are acting like COVID-19 can kill folks ("us" more than "them", by the way), this means that holiday parties and outings are basically a bust. So, since there's less out-of-the-house socializing going on, that makes cuffing all the more…intriguing. Tempting even.
If what I just said sums up exactly how you're feeling, don't feel bad or even guilty about that. You're human and no man is an island. At the same time, if cuffing season didn't really cross your mind until this article came across your monitor or cell phone screen, don't pressure yourself to participate in it either. If you've been doing just fine with, whatever it is that you're doing—and have been doing—then it's probably best to continue on. Remember that the only person you are constantly around is yourself. Bringing another person into your home and private space comes with a certain amount of risk. Especially in the time of COVID-19.
Keep Your Guard Up. A Lot of Folks Are Crafty Out Here.
That said, if you're still like, "Nah. I gotta get me a cuddle buddy", please make sure to operate from a place of total discernment. I've shared before that while I personally don't do social media, I will tiptoe into platforms to see what folks are up to from time to time and man—I saw this one Twitter thread where guys were sharing the stuff that they were telling women, just so they could lock a cuffing partner down this year. And boy, are they upping the ante on the bullshishery! It all actually reminded me of what an elder once said. She said that women are sitting on a million dollars and giving it all away for a Happy Meal (chile).
I know what it's like to feel lonely and/or horny. It's important to keep in mind that, whenever you're in either headspace, you're not actually prone to make the wisest decisions. I liken it to going grocery shopping when you're hungry; suddenly everything looks delicious. So please be really careful out here, especially if you're considering linking up with someone new as your cuffing partner this year. For one thing, six months of constant bonding with someone, even if you both claim that it's gonna be temporary, comes with some emotional risks that we oftentimes aren't mentally prepared for. And with this pandemic also being factored into the mix, based on where you live, COVID-19 testing isn't as easy to come by (financially or otherwise) as you might assume. Getting sick on top of potentially getting relationally disappointed is definitely not a good look.
Wanting companionship and attention is understandable. But please don't let any form of desperation guide you. It's a surefire way to end up a helluva lot worse than lonely and horny. And why make any decisions that will start off 2021 to be a hot mess (because we all got enough of that this year, right)?
If There Was Ever a Time to “Recycle”, this May Be It
I once heard someone say that getting back with an ex is like putting old underwear on after taking a shower. Gross and, oftentimes, yes. At the same time, a cuffing partner isn't always or necessarily an ex, now is it? In fact, I actually know a few people who have a longstanding cuffing partner. Because they don't really want a serious relationship (at least, not for now), and also because it's typically during the warmer times of the year that they are focused on their careers and/or doing a lot of traveling, they've actually made adding the same cuffing partner into their life, each and every year, a part of their lifestyle routine. For them, it's not always or necessarily about sex either. They've simply found someone who enjoys the same things as they do and actually likes the idea of being around another person who they like and trust without all of the pressure—and, let's be honest, sometimes drama—that comes with being in a "traditional relationship".
I was just talking to a friend of mine who is getting their coins together to fly their cuffing partner in for a couple of weeks. Since they both work from home, their partner can work anywhere. Once Thanksgiving rolls around, that person will go back home. Happily so.
A "recycled" cuffing partner might seem a little unconventional but, let me tell it, that is right on-brand with 2020. At least you'll know what you're getting into and sometimes, predictability is truly a blessing in disguise.
Keep Your Immune System Up
One of the reasons why a lot of health professionals are sending out so many warnings about this fall and winter seasons is because, as I'm sure you well know, not only do we have this pandemic to deal with, but this is peak cold and flu season as well. Not everyone is down with getting a flu shot, there is no vaccine for COVID-19 (yet) and, honestly, when it comes to COVID-19's symptoms, they are currently all over the place, with a lot of them mimicking a cold or flu. This is why it's so important to keep your immune system up.
For starters, check out articles on our platform like, "Ready To Try 10 Quick & Easy Immune-Boosting Hacks?", "7 Herbs To Get You Through The Winter Season", "Naomi Campbell Dropped Her Immunity-Boosting Vitamin & Supplement Routine" and "10 Hot Drinks To Keep You Warm This Fall & Winter". Also, just because it's cold outside and you can layer your clothes (to hide any extra weight gain), that doesn't mean that you should slack on exercise. Even as something as simple as a walk around your neighborhood can help to keep your heart strong and also give you a break from the indoor air pollution in your home (which is 2-5 times higher than what's outdoors, by the way). Also, make sure that you're intentional about eating healthy and, should you decide to order out, that you also check out our "10 Safety Practices For Ordering Takeout (During A Pandemic)" write-up.
Oh, and one more thing. I know that this current administration is rather coo-coo for cocoa puffs on the mask-wearing thing, but watching this tweet right here about how easily (and far) COVID-19 particles can spread should be enough of a reason for you to keep yours on and actually keep your distance from those who don't—including a potential cuffing partner. You've always heard that, if you're single, you should use a condom at all times, right? Well, during the time of COVID-19, mask-wearing and handwashing should be just as much of a qualifying criteria in order for someone to boo up with you. In other words, don't let a man in—or "in"—if he's not wearing his mask on a consistent basis. Don't say that I didn't warn you, sis.
It’s Cool to Take Things Slow(er) this Year
While online dating isn't personally my thing, I certainly don't knock it. With approximately 40 percent of heterosexual couples actually meeting their longtime partner these days, clearly it's effective for some. Plus, I recently read an article on PBS.org that said, for many, online dating has been a really great experience this year. Why? Well, with sex not really being on the table for a lot of individuals, they are able to find someone they really like as a person; not just a sex partner.
That's actually really cool because, contrary to popular assumption, cuffing partner doesn't automatically mean that you have to have sex with an individual. Especially this year, cuffing season can also be about simply being intentional about meeting (or getting to know) someone who you'd like to spend more time with—even if it's just online and long-distance (for now). With any luck, come spring, there will be a real connection and you can feel more confident about letting your cuffing partner more into your life. That is, if you want them to be.
Cuff with Someone Who Takes COVID-19 As Seriously As You Do
One more point. Back when I was out in this streets (metaphorically-speaking) and having sex (and sometimes getting my heartbroken too), if there's one pearl of wisdom that I wish I had listened to was, "Make sure that men take you as seriously as you are taking them." This includes my emotions, my time and my health. Well, that gem is actually what I'm gonna conclude this piece with.
On the personal tip (you know, outside of my landlord and folks I pay bills to), I can literally count on one hand, how many people know where I live or even have my address, for that matter. A big part of it has to do with how much of an ambivert I am. Anyway, one of the people in my life who has the privilege of being in my home space is well on their way to being banned. Why? Because they are out here going to restaurants, hopping from house to house and, the last time they came through to check on me, they didn't have a mask on (they told me they took it off in the car, so I let it slide). It's not that they don't believe that COVID-19 is real; it's more like their ego has them out here believing they are Superman or some ish. (Again, SMDH.)
Y'all, I don't care how much you want to cuddle on the couch or get it on in your bedroom, there is no amount of attention or orgasms that is worth you ending up in the hospital (or worse).
So, when it comes to my last tip about partaking in cuffing season during this pandemic, love yourself enough to choose a partner who is just as serious about not getting COVID-19 as you are. If they're not taking care of themselves, if they're not wearing a mask, if they're not washing their hands and/or if they're out here acting like nothing is going on—they don't care enough about themselves to even deserve the pleasure of spending some less-than-six-feet-away quality time with you.
Cuffing season is cool but there are other seasons that immediately follow. Make decisions that will keep you safe and healthy, well past Valentine's Day. And prayerfully, well past this pandemic too.
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After being a regular contributor for about four years and being (eh hem) MIA in 2022, Shellie is back penning for the platform (did you miss her? LOL).
In some ways, nothing has changed and in others, everything has. For now, she'll just say that she's working on the 20th anniversary edition of her first book, she's in school to take life coaching to another level and she's putting together a platform that supports and encourages Black men because she loves them from head to toe.
Other than that, she still works with couples, she's still a doula, she's still not on social media and her email contact (email@example.com) still hasn't changed (neither has her request to contact her ONLY for personal reasons; pitch to the platform if you have story ideas).
Life is a funny thing but if you stay calm, moments can come full circle and this is one of them. No doubt about it.
Amber Riley Is In Her Element
Amber Riley has the type of laugh that sticks with you long after the raspy, rhythmic sounds have ceased. It punctuates her sentences sometimes, whether she’s giving a chuckle to denote the serious nature of something she just said or throwing her head back in rip-roarious laughter after a joke. She laughs as if she understands the fragility of each minute. She chooses laughter often with the understanding that future joy is not guaranteed.
Credit: Ally Green
The sound of her laughter is rivaled only by her singing voice, an emblem of the past and the future resilience of Black women stretched over a few octaves. On Fox’s Glee, her character Mercedes Jones was portrayed, perhaps unfairly, as the vocal duel to Rachel Berry (Lea Michele), offering rough, full-throated belts behind her co-star’s smooth, pristine vocals. Riley’s always been more than the singer who could deliver a finishing note, though.
Portraying Effie White, she displayed the dynamic emotions of a song such as “And I'm Telling You I'm Not Going” in Dreamgirls on London’s West End without buckling under the historic weight of her predecessors. With her instrument, John Mayer’s “Gravity” became a religious experience, a belted hymnal full of growls and churchy riffs. In her voice, Nicole Scherzinger once said she heard “the power of God.”
Credit: Ally Green
Riley’s voice has been a staple throughout pop culture for nearly 15 years now. Her tone has become so distinguishable that most viewers of Fox’s The Masked Singer recognized the multihyphenate even before it was revealed that she was Harp, the competition-winning, gold-masked figure with an actual harp strapped to her back.
Still, it wasn’t until recently that Riley began to feel like she’d found her voice. This sounds unbelievable. But she’s not referring to the one she uses on stage. She’s referencing the voice that speaks to who she is at her core. “Therapy kind of gave me the training to speak my mind,” the 37-year-old says. “It’s not something we’re taught, especially as Black women. I got so comfortable in [doing so], and I really want other people, especially Black women, to get more comfortable in that space.”
“Therapy kind of gave me the training to speak my mind. It’s not something we’re taught, especially as Black women."
If you ask Riley’s manager, Myisha Brooks, she’ll tell you the foundation of who the multihyphenate is hasn’t changed much since she was a kid growing up in Compton. “She is who she is from when I met her back when she was singing in the front of the church to back when she landed major roles in film and TV,” Brooks says. Time has allowed Riley to grow more comfortable, giving fans a more intimate glimpse into her life, including her mental health journey and the ins and outs of show business.
The actress/singer has been in therapy since 2019, although she suffered from depression and anxiety way before that. In a recent interview with Jason Lee, she recalls having suicidal ideation as a kid. By the time she started seeing a psychologist and taking antidepressants in her thirties, her body had become jittery, a physical reminder of the trauma stacked high inside her. “I was shaking in [my therapist’s] office,” she tells xoNecole. “My fight or flight was on such a high level. I was constantly in survival mode. My heart was beating fast all the time. All I did was sweat.”
There wasn’t just childhood trauma to account for. After auditioning for American Idol and being turned away by producers, Riley began working for Ikea and nearly missed her Glee audition because her car broke down on the highway while en route. Thankfully, Riley had been cast to play Mercedes Jones. American Idol had temporarily convinced her she wasn’t cut out for the entertainment industry, but this was validation that she was right where she belonged. Glee launched in 2009 with the promise of becoming Riley’s big break.
In some ways, it was. The show introduced Riley to millions of fans and catapulted her into major Hollywood circles. But in other ways, it became a reminder of the types of roles Black women, especially those who are plus-sized, are relegated to. Behind the scenes, Riley says she fought for her character "to have a voice" but eventually realized her efforts were useless. "It finally got to a point where I was like, this is not my moment. I'm not who they're choosing, and this is just going to have to be a job for me for now," she says. "And, that's okay because it pays my bills, I still get to be on television, I'm doing more than any other Black plus-sized women that I'm seeing right now on screen."
The actress can recognize now that she was navigating issues associated with trauma and low self-esteem at the time. She now knows that she's long had anxiety and depression and can recognize the ways in which she was triggered by how the cult-like following of the show conflicted with her individual, isolated experiences behind the scenes. But she was in her early '20s back then. She didn't yet have the language or the tools to process how she was feeling.
Riley says she eventually sought out medical intervention. "When you're in Hollywood, and you go to a doctor, they give you pills," she says, sharing a part of her story that she'd never revealed publicly before now. "[I was] on medication and developing a habit of medicating to numb, not understanding I was developing an addiction to something that's not fixing my problem. If anything, it's making it worse."
“[I was] on medication and developing a habit of medicating to numb, not understanding I was developing an addiction to something that’s not fixing my problem. If anything it’s making it worse.”
Credit: Ally Green
At one point, while in her dressing room on set, she rested her arm on a curling iron without realizing it. It wasn't until her makeup artist alerted her that she even realized her skin was burning. Once she noticed, she says she was "so zonked out on pills" that she barely reacted. Speaking today, she holds up her arm and motions towards a scar that remains from the incident. She sought help for her reliance on the pills, but it would still be years before she finally attended therapy.
This stress was only compounded by the trauma of growing up in poverty and the realities of being a "contract worker." "Imagine going from literally one week having to borrow a car to get to set to the next week being on a private jet to New York City," she says. After Glee ended, so did the rides on private planes. The fury of opportunities she expected to follow her appearance on the show failed to materialize. She wasn't even 30 yet, and she was already forced to consider if she'd hit her career peak.
. . .
We’re only four minutes into our Zoom call before Riley delivers her new adage to me. “My new mantra is ‘humility does not serve me.’ Humility does not serve Black women. The world works so hard to humble us anyway,” she says.
On this Thursday afternoon in April, the LA-based entertainer is seated inside her closet/dressing room wearing a cerulean blue tank top with matching shorts and eating hot wings. This current phase of healing hinges on balance. It’s about having discipline and consistency, but not at the risk of inflexibility. She was planning to head to the gym, for instance, but she’s still tired from the “exhausting” day before. Instead, she’s spent her day receiving a massage, eating some chicken wings, and planning to spend quality time with friends. “I’m not going to beat myself up for it. I’m not going to talk down to myself. I’m going to eat my chicken wings, and then tomorrow I’m [back] in the gym,” she says.
“My new mantra is ‘humility does not serve me.’ Humility does not serve Black women. The world works so hard to humble us anyway."
This is the balance with which she's been approaching much of her life these days. It's why she's worried less about whether or not people see her as someone who is humble. She'd rather be respected. "I think you should be a person that's easy to work with, but in the moments where I have to ruffle feathers and make waves, I'm not shying away from that anymore. You can do it in love, you don't have to be nasty about it, but I had to finally be comfortable with the fact that setting boundaries around my life – in whatever aspect, whether that's personal or business – people are not going to like it. Some people are not going to have nice things to say about you, and you gotta be okay with it," she says.
When Amber talks about the constant humbling of Black women in Hollywood, I think of the entertainers before her who have suffered from this. The brilliant, consistent, overqualified Black women who have spoken of having to fight for opportunities and fair pay. Aretha Franklin. Viola Davis. Tracee Ellis Ross. There's a long list of stars whose success hasn't mirrored their experiences behind the scenes.
Credit: Ally Green
If Black women outside of Hollywood are struggling to decrease the pay gap, so, too, are their wealthier, more famous peers.
Riley says there’s been progress in recent years, but only in small ways and for a limited group of people. “This business is exhausting. The goalpost is constantly moving, and sometimes it’s unfair,” she says. But, I have to say it’s the love that keeps you going.”
“There’s no way you can continue to be in this business and not love it, especially being a plus-sized Black woman,” she continues. “We’re still niche. We’re still not main characters.”
"There’s no way you can continue to be in this business and not love it, especially being a plus-sized Black woman. We’re still niche. We’re still not main characters.”
Last year, Riley starred alongside Raven Goodwin in the Lifetime thriller Single Black Female (a modern, diversified take on 1992’s Single White Female). It was more than a leading role for the actress, it also served as proof that someone who looks like her can front a successful project without it hinging on her identity. It showcased that the characters she portrays don’t “have to be about being a big girl. It can just be a regular story.”
Riley sees her work in music as an extension of her efforts to push past the rigid stereotypes in entertainment. Take her appearance on The Masked Singer, for instance. Riley said she decided to perform Mayer’s “Gravity” after being told she couldn’t sing it years earlier. “I wanted to do ‘Gravity’ on Glee. [I] was told no, because that’s not a song that Mercedes would do,” she says. “That was a full circle moment for me, doing that on that show and to hear what it is they had to say.”
As Scherzinger praised the “anointed” performance, a masked Riley began to cry, her chest heaving as she stood on stage, her eyes shielded from view. “You have to understand, I have really big names – casting directors, producers, show creators – that constantly tell me ‘I’m such a big fan. Your talent is unmatched.’ Hire me, then,” she says, reflecting on the moment.
Recently, she’s been in the studio working on original music, the follow-up to her independently-released debut EP, 2020’s Riley. The sequel to songs such as the anthemic “Big Girl Energy” and the reflective ballad “A Moment” on Riley, this new project hones in on the singer’s R&B roots with sensual grooves such as the tentatively titled “All Night.” “You said I wasn’t shit, turns out that I’m the shit. Then you called me a bitch, turns out that I’m that bitch. You said no one would want me, well you should call your homies,” she sings on the tentatively titled “Lately,” a cut about reflecting on a past relationship. From the forthcoming project, xoNecole received five potential tracks. Fans likely already know the strengths and contours of Riley’s vocals, but these new songs are her strongest, most confident offerings as an artist.
“I am so much more comfortable as a writer, and I know who I am as an artist now. I’m evolving as a human being, in general, so I’m way more vulnerable in my music. I’m way more willing to talk about whatever is on my mind. I don’t stop myself from saying what it is I want to say,” she says.
Credit: Ally Green
“Every era and alliteration of Amber, the baseline is ‘Big Girl Energy.’ That’s the name of her company,” her manager Brooks says, referencing the imprint through which Riley releases her music after getting out of a label deal several years ago. “It’s just what she stands for. She’s not just talking about size, it’s in all things. Whether it’s putting your big girl pants on and having to face a boardroom full of executives or sell yourself in front of a casting agent. It’s her trying to achieve the things she wants to do in life.”
Riley says she has big dreams beyond releasing this new music, too. She’d love to star in a rom-com with Winston Duke. She hasn't starred in a biopic yet, but she’d revel in the opportunity to portray Rosetta Tharpe on screen. She’s determined that her previous setbacks won’t stop her from dreaming big.
“I think one of my superpowers is resilience because, at the end of the day, I’m going to kick, scream, cry, cuss, be mad and disappointed, but I’m going to get up and risk having to deal with it all again. It’s worth it for the happy moments,” she says.
If Riley seems more comfortable and confident professionally, it’s because of the work she’s been doing in her personal life.
She’d previously spoken to xoNecole about becoming engaged to a man she discovered in a post on the site, but she called things off last year. For Valentine’s Day, she revealed her new boyfriend publicly. “I decided to post him on Valentine’s Day, partially because I was in the dog house. I got in trouble with him,” she says, half-joking before turning serious. “The breakup was never going to stop me from finding love. Or at least trying. I don’t owe anybody a happily ever after. People break up. It happens. When it was good, it was good. When it was bad, it was terrible, hunny. I had to get the fuck up out of there. You find happiness, and you enjoy it and work through it.”
Credit: Ally Green
"I don’t owe anybody a happily ever after. People break up. It happens. When it was good, it was good. When it was bad, it was terrible, hunny. I had to get the fuck up out of there. You find happiness and you enjoy it and work through it.”
With her ex, Riley was pretty outspoken about her relationship, even appearing in content for Netflix with him. This time around is different. She’s not hiding her boyfriend of eight months, but she’s more protective of him, especially because he’s a father and isn’t interested in becoming a public figure.
She’s traveling more, too. It’s a deliberate effort on her part to enjoy her money and reject the trauma she’s developed after experiencing poverty in her childhood. “I live in constant fear of being broke. I don’t think you ever don’t remember that trauma or move past that. Now I travel and I’m like, listen, if it goes, it goes. I’m not saying [to] be reckless, but I deserve to enjoy my hard work.”
After everything she’s been through, she certainly deserves to finally let loose a bit. “I have to have a life to live,” she says. “I’ve got to have a life worth fighting for.”
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The 7 Best Tina Turner Quotes About Love, Life, And Legacy
The world has become a little less brighter following the loss of the indomitable force known as Tina Turner.
The legendary singer --who was crowned the Queen of Rock 'N' Roll after captivating many hearts for six decades with her electrifying raspy voice, explosive dance moves, empowering life story, and much more-- died on May 24 at the age of 83 after battling a long illness. Turner's passing was confirmed in a statement released by the star's publicist Bernard Doherty.
In a statement to People magazine, Doherty revealed that Turner had "died peacefully" in her home in Switzerland, which she shared with her husband, music producer Erwin Bach. Doherty also announced that a private funeral service would be held at an undisclosed date for Turner's close family and friends.
"Tina Turner, the 'Queen of Rock'n' Roll,' has died peacefully today at the age of 83 after a long illness in her home in Küsnacht near Zurich, Switzerland. With her, the world loses a music legend and a role model. There will be a private funeral ceremony attended by close friends and family. Please respect the privacy of her family at this difficult time," the statement read.
Photo by Harry Langdon/Getty Images
In addition to the public statement, Turner's passing was also confirmed on her social media accounts. Although, at the time, details surrounding Turner's cause of death were limited, it was ultimately revealed that the "River Deep Mountain High" songstress passed away from natural causes. This comes years after Turner underwent a kidney transplant, which her husband donated, and suffering from various health issues. The list included high blood pressure, stroke, and intestinal cancer.
As the news circulated online, many of Turner's close friends and fans paid homage to the icon by expressing how much she meant to them. The list included Angela Bassett --who played Turner in the 1993 film What's Love Got To Do With It-- Beyoncé, Dionne Warwick, Mariah Carey, Ciara, and longtime friend Oprah Winfrey.
In an Instagram post, Winfrey recounted how her friendship with Turner started. The 69-year-old explained that she was a massive fan of the "Proud Mary" vocalist, and upon meeting, the pair's bond would blossom into a decades-long sisterhood.
During that time, Winfrey shared that she was in awe of Turner's resilience from her past childhood traumas and being abandoned by both her parents to how she overcame her violent relationship with ex-husband Ike Turner. The former television host added that Turner's ability to preserve through life's hardships inspired an entire nation.
"I started out as a fan of Tina Turner, then a full-on groupie, following her from show to show around the country, and then, eventually, we became real friends. She is our forever goddess of rock 'n' roll who contained a magnitude of inner strength that grew throughout her life. She was a role model not only for me but for the world. She encouraged a part of me I didn't know existed," Winfrey wrote while honoring her longtime friend.
Photo by Rob Verhorst/Redferns
"Once she claimed her freedom from years of domestic abuse, her life became a clarion call for triumph. I'm grateful for her courage, for showing us what victory looks like wearing Manolo's and a leather miniskirt."
Winfrey wrapped up her words by recalling her conversation with Turner regarding death. The Oprah Winfrey Show host revealed that Turner embraced it because "she had learned how to live surrounded by her beloved husband, Erwin, and friends."
"She once shared with me that when her time came to leave this earth, she would not be afraid, but excited and curious. Because she had learned how to LIVE surrounded by her beloved husband, Erwin, and friends. I am a better woman, a better human, because her life touched mine. She was indeed simply the best," Winfrey stated.
With Turner's untimely death, the "What's Love Got To Do With It" singer leaves behind an immaculate career spanning over 60 years. Alongside her countless hit songs, Turner's past accolades consist of eight Grammy Awards, a Grammy Lifetime Achievement Award, and a Grammy Hall of Fame for three of her songs.
"The Best" songstress' other achievements included Turner earning her own star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, becoming a double inductee in the Rock 'N' Roll Hall of Fame once in 1991 with Ike Turner, and again in 2021 as a solo artist, etc.
Turner is survived by her husband, Erwin Bach, many friends, and fans. Turner had four sons, two of whom she adopted while married to Ike. Her biological sons, Craig and Ronnie, both sadly passed away in recent years. To date, it is unclear if Turner has mended her relationship with her two adopted sons, who belonged to her ex-husband Ike Turner.
Turner’s music has impacted many people thanks to the beautiful storytelling and powerful words. In honor of Turner's legacy, xoNecole is looking back at her most memorable quotes on life, love, aging, and beauty over the years.
Photo by Michael Ochs Archives/Getty Images
Tina On Life
"If you are unhappy with anything…Whatever is bringing you down, get rid of it. Because you'll find that when you're free, your true creativity, your true self, comes out."
-via 1986 interview with Ebony magazine.
Tina On Love
"He [Erwin] shows me that true love doesn't require the dimming of my light so that he can shine. On the contrary, we are the light of each other's lives, and we want to shine as bright as we can, together."
via Turner's book, Happiness Becomes You: A Guide to Changing Your Life for Good.
Tina On Her Greatest Beauty Secret
"My greatest beauty secret is being happy with myself. It's a mistake to think you are what you put on yourself. I believe that a lot of how you look has to do with how you feel about yourself and your life."
-via 2016 interview with Woman & Homemagazine.
Tina Turner - What's Love Got To Do With It (Official Music Video)
Tina On Aging
"Fifty is the new 30. Seventy is the new 50. There are no rules that say you have to dress a certain way, or be a certain way. We are living in exciting times for women. Keep up with fashion, keep up with your figure and the clothes you wear. If you look good and you can still do it, then go and do it. I have never worried about age."
-via 2009 interview with the Daily Express.
Tina On Death
"Even when it's time to go and leave to another planet, I'm excited about that because I'm curious to know what it is about. Nobody can tell you because nobody has come back. I'm not excited to die, but I don't regret it when it's time for me. I've done what I came here to do. Now is [time for] pleasure. I've got great friends. I have a great man in my life now. I have a great husband, and I'm happy."
-via 2013 interview with Oprah Winfrey.
Tina On The Legacy She's Leaving Behind
"My legacy is that I stayed on course from the beginning to the end because I believed in something inside of me that told me that it can get better…So my legacy is a person that strived for wanting it better and got it."
-via 2013 Oprah interview.
Tina On How She Would Want To Be Remembered
"As the Queen of Rock 'N' Roll. As a woman who showed other women that it is OK to strive for success on their own terms."
via April 2023 interview with The Guardian.
Although xoNecole and the world are mourning the loss of the incredible Tina Turner, it is humbling to know that she accomplished so many things, personally and professionally, during her time here and continues to show why she was, in fact, "simply the best," even after death.
We will miss you, Queen. Rest in Power!
Tina Turner - The Best (Official Music Video)
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Feature image by Paul Natkin/Getty Images