Girrrrl, you don't even have to say it. I've been single on Valentine's Day for so long at this point, that I'm not sure I'd know what to do if I actually was in a relationship today. The crazy thing is, not being with someone doesn't really bother me (anymore). I think it's because I've moved past just wanting to "have somebody". Now I'm more in the lane of, "If he ain't the one, I'd rather be by myself." And that mindset is what keeps me from throwing daggers with my eyes while looking at couples who are all boo'ed up in public or going into crying marathons while listening to songs by Joe ("So, I Can Have You Back"), Jagged Edge ("I Gotta Be"), an indie sangin' white boy who goes by Britten ("Stick to Your Guns"), Yuna featuring Usher ("Crush") or what continues to be one of the best R&B songs ever—Justin Timberlake featuring Beyoncé's "Until the End of Time".
These days, instead of wishing I had someone to go out or dance with, I treat myself and slow drag in my drawers in my living room. Why? Because Valentine's Day is no longer a day to me that only lovers can play. Shoot, with all of the lessons I've learned about how to love myself, I feel like I have earned the right to get in on the action as well. And sis, so can you.
If it so happens to be that there is no plus-one in your Cupid day plans, here are 10 ways to keep you from going into hiding or acting like Valentine's Day doesn't exist. You can totally still have a good time alone. I've got my own past memories to prove it.
1. Wear Red (or Pink) to Work
Yeah, I know. When we think of the color red and what it traditionally symbolizes, things like love and passion are what immediately come to mind. But did you also know that it's a hue that represents energy, power and determination? As far as pink goes, it's a color that is romantic but it's also really feminine. I don't know about y'all, but I don't know one Black woman, no matter what her complexion is, who doesn't look pretty damn amazing in red. Oh, and since a classic red lipstick is a huge make-up trend right now, why not add that to your outfit while you're at it?
2. Take a Social Media Fast
Personally, I think it's a good idea to take a social media fast, at least once a season. But even if you simply can't imagine not being on Instagram or getting in some sort of Twitter battle for more than a couple of days, trust me—you want to steer clear of social media platforms on Valentine's Day. Well, you do if being single, especially on holidays, is some sort of trigger for you.
I'm telling you, if there's ever a time when folks want to turn up and show out when it comes to displaying their love for their significant other, February 14 would be it. So, unless you are some sort of social media masochist, use Valentine's Day as a day to catch up on some YouTube videos, do a little online shopping or—here's a thought—avoid being out in cyberspace altogether.
3. Send Some Words of Affirmation to Your Homies
No one said that Valentine's Day was only for romantic love; platonic love is special too. Now is just as good of a time as any to take out a few moments to express to your friends what you love, respect and appreciate about them. If they're good friends, they won't leave your texts or emails on read. They will take out a sec to share how they feel about you too. And you know what? Chances are, you'll hear something about yourself that you didn't know they saw in you. Compliments from friends can be super encouraging. I'm saying that from very up close and personal experience.
4. Do Something Your Ex Didn’t Like to Do
All relationships consist of compromise. That said, I'm pretty sure there was something you liked to do that your ex couldn't stand. Maybe it was watching rom-coms. Maybe it was listening to a certain genre of music. Maybe it was eating a particular kind of food or going to a certain kind of venue. Well, guess what? You're single now, baby! Do all of that stuff in honor of not having to give a flying leap about what anyone thinks or wants—but yourself. You survived the break-up. You've earned it.
5. Go Panty Shopping
Last summer, I wrote an article on here entitled, "When Should You Replace Underwear, Make-Up, Bedding, Washcloths & Towels?" As far as your panties go, if it's been more than six months since you've copped some new ones, it's time to do just that. My recommendation would be to get some functional ones (you know, some comfortable cotton undies) and then to pick up a pair of some super sexy ones too. I actually have a hope chest in my living room that is full of lingerie for my future husband. You know what they say—if you build it, they (well, he) will come. And cum. Why not take an act of faith and create your own collection as well?
6. Get in on a Valentine’s Day Restaurant Special
Unless you plan on fasting in protest of Cupid and all of his antics, you do wanna eat, right? It's pretty common for restaurants to have specials on Valentine's Day and no, they do not care if you are with someone or not. From now through Leap Day, Chick-fil-A is offering their nuggets in heart-shaped containers. If you kiss something—it can be literally anything—at QDOBA, they'll give you a free entrée with the purchase of something of equal or more value. If you place an order via Jack in the Box's mobile app, you can get a free shake or slice of cheesecake on February 14. TCBY has a BOGO (Buy One, Get One) deal on Valentine's Day. Chili's has a meal-for-two deal that is $25 (that means you can have leftovers). Get this—if you are down to digitally shred a pic of your ex on Hooter's website, they'll email you are coupon for 10 free wings with a 10-wing purchase. If you live in LA, New York, San Francisco or Boston, a pick of your ex can earn you a free Whopper. All of this sounds pretty good to me. (If you want to fact check all of this, you can do so by clicking here and here.)
7. Jot Down All of the Self-Love Lessons You’ve Learned over the Past Year
Author Paulo Coelho once said, "Every blessing ignored becomes a curse." Author Mary Davis once said, "The more grateful I am, the more beauty I see." And, author Alex Haley once said, "Find the good and praise it." I can't tell you how many husbands and/or wives have told me that they totally regret getting married, not so much because of their spouse but because they didn't know themselves well enough prior to saying "I do". It might not feel like it right at this very second, but singledom has some real benefits. One of them is learning how to love yourself so that you can have a standard for how someone else should love you.
That's why, it can also be a cool practice to break out your journal and jot down all of the self-love lessons that you've learned since this time last year. You might discover that a part of the reason why you're single this Valentine's Day is because your expectations have shifted; that it's not so much "circumstantial" but that you actually choose to rock the single status (for now).
8. Indulge in a Chocolate Bubble Bath
If you take a bath the right way (because yes, there is actually a wrong way to do it), there are some pretty impressive benefits that come from partaking. It can relieve stress; improve your heart's health; clear up your respiratory system; ease achy bones and joints; improve your quality of sleep; balance your hormones, and even strengthen your immune system. This year, pamper yourself in one; only, add a twist to it. While couples will be out here giving each other chocolate candy, how about you soak in some chocolate instead? All you need is some unscented bubble bath, powdered milk and unsweetened powdered chocolate and you'll have a sweet-smelling soak that you'll want to stay in for hours on end. (There's an actual recipe here.)
9. Take a Brief Road Trip
Valentine's Day just so happens to fall on a Friday this year. This means that if you want to make a weekend out of it, you can. If you've got a few extra bucks, use this as a time to take a road trip. Maybe take a couple of girls or even one of your guy friends with you. Making the time to do something you love can be just as wonderful as being in love with someone. For real, for real.
10. Or…Sleep In
Even if the love cynic in you rolled your eyes and everything that I just said, how can you not feel good about this last point? Since Valentine's Day is on a Friday, this means that you can go home, get into some comfy pajamas, binge-watch something on your favorite streaming network, get drunk (if you want) and sleep in for as long as you'd like. C'mon—if there's nothing else to be thrilled about as it relates to February 14, knowing you can chill all day February 15 is it. Happy Valentine's Day, my fellow single, sista.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
If You're Not In Love With Being Single, Ask Yourself These 6 Questions
10 Words That'll Make You Totally Rethink The Word 'Single'
I'm Not Your Relationship Goals: A Word To Single Ladies From A Married Woman
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RELATED
The Black hair industry has definitely blossomed in the last decade with a wave of new stylists and salons popping up all over the place. As much as I love that for us, many of these stylists have become the subjects of viral TikTok and Instagram tirades because of their alleged questionable behavior and bizarre rules.
Excessive policies, strange fees, long wait times, poor performance, and the infamous “Hey boo” texts. Beauty is pain, they say… xoNecole got to the root of these issues with luxury hair extensionist Dee Michelle, who’s been in the hair game for 20 years and runs a seven-figure business - all while being a mom of four.
Antonio Livingston
“I started my business with my career in the hair industry [at] very, very young age when I was maybe like eight...So, over the years, I've just built a very successful seven-figure business very quickly just by offering high-end services and creating great experiences for my clients, many of whom are high-profile professionals,” she said. “I'm also a mother of four, including a set of triplets, which inspires me daily to show what's possible with my hard work and focus.”
Dee’s business has gone viral on social media because of what many call outrageous prices for her invisible K-Tip installs.
“When I developed my invisible K-tip extensions technique, I made sure that it wasn't just about the hair or the style, but about providing a high-end experience from start to finish. So, my clients just aren't paying for the extensions or just the style itself, but they're investing into my meticulous, seamless craft and premium hair sourced from the best suppliers…I've spent so many hours mastering my craft, creating this seamless method that gives my clients long-lasting natural results, and my pricing just reflects that - the value of my expertise and the exclusivity of the service.”
The K-tip specialist stands on business when it comes to catering to her clients and giving them an experience worth the cost.
“And it's just important for me to also say that my clients are high-profile individuals who value quality, their privacy, and their time. They want a service that fits into their lifestyle and their time. They want things that deliver perfection. And I deliver that every single time.”
I’m sure we’ve all seen the various TikTok rants about people’s nightmare experiences with stylists and uttered a silent “FELT!” We asked Dee her opinion on a few nightmare scenarios that beg the response, “please be so forreal."
On stylists charging extra to wash clients’ hair:
“I think they should just include it in the price, to be honest. Because I feel like when clients go to a stylist, they're expecting you to wash their hair. Personally, if I see that washing is extra, I just wouldn't go to the salon because it just shows a lack of professionalism, in my opinion, and a lack of experience.”
“I think they should just include it in the price, to be honest. Because I feel like when clients go to a stylist, they're expecting you to wash their hair. Personally, if I see that washing is extra, I just wouldn't go to the salon because it just shows a lack of professionalism, in my opinion, and a lack of experience.”
On ‘deposits’ that don’t go towards the cost of the service:
“I think that's kind of weird, too, for deposits to not be like a part of the service. I've seen people have booking fees and I just don't understand it, to be honest. I disagree with that kind of policy…By all means, people should do what works for them, but to me, it doesn't make sense. Why does somebody have to pay a fee just to book an appointment with you? I don't get it. It feels like exploitation.”
On stylists charging extra to style (straighten/curl) wigs, sew-ins etc., after installing:
“I don't get it. Clients come to us to get their hair done, to get it styled. So why is it extra for you to style it? If you're going to charge extra, just increase your price. I feel like it could be just a lack of confidence in those stylists, feeling like people won't pay a certain price for certain things, or just their lack of professionalism as well, because people are coming to us to get styled.”
On the infamous “Hey boo” text stylists send to clients when they need to cancel/reschedule:
“Professionalism in any industry, especially the beauty industry, is everything. So texting a client the, “Hey boo” is so unprofessional, and it's damaging to the client-stylist relationship. Clients book their appointments expecting a level of respect and care, especially when they're investing their time and money and a service. And I get it, emergencies happen, we're all humans. However, it should be done with a formal apology and a clear explanation.”
“Professionalism in any industry, especially the beauty industry, is everything. So texting a client the, “Hey boo” is so unprofessional, and it's damaging to the client-stylist relationship. Clients book their appointments expecting a level of respect and care, especially when they're investing their time and money and a service. And I get it, emergencies happen, we're all humans. However, it should be done with a formal apology and a clear explanation.”
We know all too well what kinds of things will keep us from ever gracing certain hairstylists’ chairs with our butts again. So, what should hairstylists do to provide a good service to their clients? What is good hairstylist etiquette?
“For one, being on time is an important rule for stylist etiquette. It's just not okay to require your clients to be on time, and you're not on time. Also, communication. Being able to communicate clearly, respectfully, and professionally, whether that's in person, via text, or on social media. Style is etiquette. Appearance matters. So just maintaining a clean, polished, and professional look. Clients respect you more whenever your appearance reflects your work. There's just so many things, but another thing I would say is active listening. So, being able to pay close attention to what your client wants and also clarifying any questions that they might have. Just to ensure that they feel heard and to minimize any misunderstandings.”
Dee also shared some red flags to look out for when considering a new stylist.
“Even me as a client, if I'm booking somebody and they have a long list of rules, I don't even book with them. That's, for one, just such a huge turn-off. Also, stylists who have inconsistent or unclear pricing, that's a red flag. People who change their rates too much without an explanation. Poor communication. So, if a stylist is responding very slow or responding unprofessionally, or giving vague answers to questions, that can make clients question whether or not they are respecting their time and their needs.
Another red flag - an inconsistent or low quality portfolio. And I feel like, I see this a lot with stylists stealing other people's work, and their portfolio on social media is just very inconsistent.”
We couldn’t let Dee go without getting the tea on what styles she predicts will trend in 2025.
“I feel like people are going back to natural-looking styles. So, a lot of people are ditching the wigs, the lace fronts, things like that. People are still wearing them, of course, but it is becoming more of a trend to embrace your natural hair and something that's not looking too fake. That’s one thing that we're going to be seeing a lot. I would say a lot of layers are coming back, heavy layers. Those are becoming really, really trendy. And people are leaning more towards platinum-colored hair. I've been seeing lots of like blondes coming out. Also, jet black is always going to be a trend. But I would say more like natural colors, but natural colors that are still making a statement.”
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Feature image by Antonio Livingston.
Also, virtual networking has its own awkward and sometimes downright unappealing moments. I mean, how do you really get to know someone who's probably multitasking five other things while on the call with you, had little desire to turn their camera on, and is possibly not even wearing pants? It seems like everyone is juggling a lot and simply trying to survive, not focused on making new friends, work besties, or business partners.
Well, don't let the pessimism set in just yet. There are still many people out there who are open to new connections (or at least continuing to cultivate and build on old ones). And there is still value in authentic networking where you're able to not only find kindred industry spirits to chat about everyday issues you face at work, but destiny helpers who are divinely placed in your life for the most positive and fabulous life advancement you've ever seen.
Get inspired by these real-life stories of women professionals and entrepreneurs who have witnessed, firsthand, the power of true connection through networking:
Dr. Amber L. Wright, Keynote Speaker & Executive Coach, Words Well Said
DFinney Photo
On the true key to networking that actually works: "Focusing on building relationships versus transactions is also important for creating meaningful connections and expanding your network."
On a networking experience that led to results: "While attending a conference, I met a woman who did a fantastic job as a panel moderator. She had a great stage presence and was dressed impeccably. After the panel, I approached her to say hello and offer my compliments on how well she did. She thanked me for the kind words and we struck up a conversation, ending with the proverbial promise to keep in touch."
"We both kept that promise and stayed in touch via social media. That eventually led to offline conversations, resulting in us sharing opportunities to advance both of our businesses."
"She is now the CEO of a leadership development firm and in partnering with her, I have experienced significant financial growth in my business as a keynote speaker and executive coach. That one interaction all of those years ago has resulted in one of my most rewarding personal and professional relationships!"
On a one-on-one networking experience that built impact: "I had a virtual co-working session with someone I didn’t know (via a co-working app), that resulted in us sharing a bit about what we do and connecting on LinkedIn. Months later, she randomly tagged me in a call for speakers, which led to me being hired as the opening keynote speaker for that conference."
Dontaira Terrell, Journalist & Publisher, The Buckeye Review
Courtesy, DontairaTerrell.com
On proactivity despite rejection: “My initial story pitches were unsuccessful, but I maintained a strong relationship with my former colleague. I consistently shared updates and offered support, cultivating a valuable connection."
This proactive approach unexpectedly led to an opportunity when a legacy brand needed management assistance for its annual premiere event.
On dynamic results: "She immediately recommended me for the position, and within a week, I was collaborating with their executive team, successfully bringing their high-profile event to life.”
How To Make Real Connections Through Networking In 2025
Today's networking, especially in an environment where millions of professionals are working remote or hybrid, it's all about authenticity, collaboration, and service. Oftentimes, opportunities come through people who simply like one another and have things in common. People like to work with people who are not only performers but who are a joy to know and work with.
Posting consistently on LinkedIn, actively engaging by sharing relevant information and opportunities, and responding to comments are great ways to break the ice and meet new high-achieving professionals. Also, practicing networking with smaller groups via meet-ups, happy hours and brunches is still valuable versus only focusing your time and money on larger conferences or work-mandated experiences.
And don't wait until you need something (like a new job after a sudden job loss or a source of investment for a new project). Be proactive and get into the practice of cultivating relationships whether you see an immediate return on investment or not.
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