Best Career Advice On Success, Confidence & Leveling Up From A Few Of Our Faves
When you're ambitious and know where you're going in life, two things are important to fuel your motivation and drive: positive affirmations and actual real-life examples to look to for advisement or mentorship. Research has proven it (y'all know I'm big on that) but even beyond a study, it makes logical sense.
As we're all about bossing up here and amplifying the stories of Black women who do so, we've collected so many jewels of knowledge from tried-and-true Black women building tables across industries. Here's a collection of top career advice on success, confidence, and leveling up from a few favorites:
Dimplez Ijeoma, Music Executive
CourtesyOn Polishing Communication Skills
Dimplez Ijoema, who has served as Senior Vice President of Marketing at Capitol Music Group and a leading digital marketer, paved her own lane, empowered herself through innovative thinking and leadership, and enjoyed the power of mentorship and advocacy from other senior leaders in her industry. In an interview with xoNecole, she talked about how effective communication plays a role in success:
"A lot of workplace or career challenges literally boiled down to miscommunication — whether it be intentional or unintentional. And as an executive, a woman, and a human, the moment we become better communicators, the less friction we will have."
Stormi Steele, Founder and CEO of Canvas Beauty
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On Engaging Authenticity
Canvas Beauty founder and CEO Stormi Steele built a brand from the ground up, going from her home-based business to being sold in major retailers. She’s also built a large following on social and real-life communities of supporters and brand-builders. Steele reiterated a key factor in success— for any power woman–that resonates across industries, experience levels, and business journeys:
“Focus on building a community, and not more so just selling a product. So for us, like, I was selling the product, but I wasn’t saying, like, ‘Oh, go buy this’ or ‘buy this.’ I'm more so taking people on a journey with the growth of our brand and I think people resonate with that more so than, you know, just saying sell, sell, sell.”
The same advice can apply to a 9-to-5er working to get to the top of the ladder and join the C-suite of a company. When you can unapologetically be yourself (while doing quality work with measurable results), relate to others, and take an approach of authentic relatability, it can do wonders.
Melissa Ingram, TV Executive
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On Empowering Through Service
For TV executive Melissa Ingram, servant leadership has been a common theme that has laid a foundation for decades of success in the entertainment industry. For her, lifting as you climb is a vital boss move that not only enhances her own self-development and advancement but empowers the overall bottom line of any company.
"When you invest in others, they begin to trust you. And it's always been purpose over position for me. Don't get so caught up in a title. Ask yourself, 'What's my purpose in this role? Is this an opportunity for me to serve and bring my unique skill sets to the table to help others?' As a manager, if your team succeeds, you succeed.
Kandace Banks, Web Series Creator
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On Building Resilience
From pursuing her dreams of being a celebrity stylist to overcoming challenges in the fashion industry to creating her own scripted series, Kandace Banks’ story of career fulfillment is the perfect case study on confidence and resilience.
“You have to expect to work really hard. I didn’t expect to work as hard as I had to. If you go in with the mentality of having to hustle and grind, unfortunately, that’s what you’re going to have to do. People are going to treat you terribly, but you have to be confident within yourself to know that you can't take anything personal. At the end of the day, you have to do your best work and give it all you got and know that you’ve tried your hardest.”
Nicole Walters, CEO
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On Prioritizing Strategy And Rest
Nicole Walters, CEO of Inherit Learning Co., is a best-selling author and podcaster, with extensive experience in consulting and working as an executive in Corporate America. She’s poured into other professionals to match their passions and talents with purpose and fulfillment. A big lesson she learned is the importance of being strategic in how we map out our professional plans and finding ways to incorporate rest as part of our success strategy.
“A lot of us think we work hard until retirement hits. I want to progress toward retirement. It is intentionally building out what I know I would like to have happen and not waiting for exhaustion to be the trigger of change.”
Brittany Yates, Founder of Grind on the Go
Arleshia McGirt/Authorized Shot PhotographyOn Building Go-Getter Strength
Brittany Yates, founder of Grind on the Go, a premium coffee and tea brand, balanced a 9-to-5 while launching and found initial investors to fund her idea via her network. Her simple but powerful mantra of just-do-it gusto has led to results, allowing her to build a large community and consumer base. There’s a certain amount of faith, audacity, and good time management that allows her to push through challenges to reach her goals.
“My mindset is that if it's something I really want to do, I can do it. [Some people would say] that's over-simplified, but for me, if I want to do something, I'm doing it. Another thing is time management. I time block, in a sense, so I'll say I'm working a certain amount [of time] on this, and a certain amount of time on that.”
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Exclusive: Dreka Gates Talks Farm Life, Self-Mastery, And Her Wellness Brand
Dreka Gates is making a name in wellness through authenticity and innovativeness. Although we were introduced to her as a music manager for her husband, Kevin Gates, she has now carved out her own lane outside of music as a wellness entrepreneur. But according to Dreka, this is nothing new.
In an xoNecole exclusive, the mom of two opened up about many things, including starting her wellness journey at 13 years old. However, a near-death experience during a procedure at 20 made her start taking her health more seriously.
“There's so many different levels, and now, I'm in a space of just integrating all of this good stuff that I've learned just about just being human, you know?” Dreka tells us. “So it's also fun because it's like a journey of self-discovery and self-mastery. That's what I call it. So it's never-ending.”
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If you follow Dreka, then you’re familiar with her holistic lifestyle, as she’s no stranger to promoting wellness, self-care, and holistic living. She even lives part-time on a Mississippi farm, not far from her grandmother and great-grandmother’s farm, where she spent some summers as a child.
While her grandmother and great-grandmother have passed on, Dreka reflects on that time in her life and how having a farm as an adult is her getting back to her roots. “So the farm was purchased back in 2017, and it was like, ah, that'll just be a place where we go when we're not touring or whatever,” she said.
“But COVID hit, and I was there, and I was on the land, and I just started remembering back to going to my grandmother's during the summertime and freaking picking peas and going and eating mulberries off the freaking tree in the bushes.
“And she literally had cotton plants. I know some people feel weird about picking cotton and stuff. She had cotton plants and I would go and pick cotton out of her garden. And she had chickens, and I literally just broke down in tears one day when I was on the farm just doing all the things, and I'm like, ‘Oh my gosh. I'm literally getting back to my roots.”
"I literally just broke down in tears one day when I was on the farm just doing all the things, and I'm like, ‘Oh my gosh. I'm literally getting back to my roots."
You can catch glimpses of Dreka’s farm life on Instagram, which shows her picking fruit and vegetables and loving on her animals like her camel Eessa. Her passion for growing and cultivating led her to try and grow all of her ingredients for her wellness brand, Dreka Wellness. However, she quickly realized that she might be biting off more than she could chew. But that didn’t stop her from fulfilling her vision.
Watch below as Dreka talks more about her business, her wellness tips, breaking toxic cycles, becoming a doula, and more.
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It’s been almost a year since I had my last drink. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that my body doesn’t respond to alcohol the same way, and due to chronic migraines I was having last year, I decided to try a sober lifestyle.
While I’m not sure if it will be forever, I can honestly say that I don’t necessarily miss drinking or how I would feel after having a few drinks.
During this time, I’ve discovered that I’m not alone in my choice to be sober. There’s the Sober Curious movement, which is for people who are interested in drinking less or not at all.
Ruby Warrington, the author of Sober Curious: The Blissful Sleep, Greater Focus, Limitless Presence, and Deep Connection Awaiting Us All on the Other Side of Alcohol, describes being sober curious as “literally, to choose to question, or get curious about, every impulse, invitation, and expectation to drink, versus mindlessly going along with the dominant drinking culture.”
There are some celebrities who have also opted for a life without drinking and have shared their journeys. Below, we have listed seven celebrities who are living a sober lifestyle.
Ari Lennox
Ari Lennox has been open about her sobriety. Last year, the R&B songstress shared multiple Instagram posts talking about her journey and how it’s helped her to be present.
"It's nice to be present. Sobriety is a very present experience...But yea sure there's the fantasy of wanting to escape all the intense stress of the world with alcohol cause boy does it work temporarily,” she wrote.
“But there's the moment the liquor stops numbing and you're chasing that feeling to no avail and you wake to see the problems of life still there," she said.
Eve
During her recent The Breakfast Club interview, Eve opened up about how drinking negatively impacted her life. And after getting a DUI in 2007, she knew she had to make a change.
“I had 56 days where I couldn’t drink, and I was so scared of that 56 days because I couldn’t remember a time where I hadn’t drank,” she said. Initially, she tried to get out of it by asking for community service instead but was told no.
“It saved my life because it was the first time I ever sat with my fucking emotions. Like why am I drinking? What am I tryna cover up? Why am I tryna numb myself? What is the problem? And I had to sit with my shit and I cried a fucking lot and I needed it.”
Blac Chyna
Angela White, aka Blac Chyna, has undergone a major transformation, which included removing tattoos and reversing cosmetic procedures.
She also revealed that she gave up drinking and recently celebrated two years of sobriety. She got on Instagram Live and celebrated with her kids, King and Dream, and her followers. In the Live, they circled around a white cake with black bows and sang “Happy Birthday.”
B.Simone
B.Simone has made many changes in her life since she began focusing more on her faith. And one of those changes includes giving up alcohol. In her podcast, Let’s Try This Again, the comedian talked about trauma bonding and how not everyone is accepting of your new path.
“I’m on my journey getting closer to God, and he convicted me of sobriety, and I’m being obedient to Him. I’m not trying to please you,” she said. “‘Cause you know when you go out, and people gonna peer pressure you. You gotta say, hmm, I wish I could, but I’m sober now.”
Jada Pinkett Smith
During a past Red Table Talk episode, Jada Pinkett Smith shared that she struggled with drugs and alcohol addiction. She recalled some embarrassing moments she encountered from drinking and drugs, which made her quit “cold turkey.”
"Once I was going for that third bottle of wine, I said, 'you've got a problem,' and it was cold turkey that day. That day I just stopped," the actress said. She has now been sober for over 25 years.
Jennifer Hudson
Chelsea Handler stopped by Jennifer Hudson's talk show, where they discussed the singer's sobriety. "Your producer backstage just told me, 'Jennifer Hudson has never had a sip of a cocktail,' and I just don't understand why that's necessary," she said.
The Oscar winner explained, "I don't knock those who do it, I just never had [the desire to drink.]
Naomi Campbell
In a May 2010 interview with British Vogue, Naomi Campbell opened up about her drug and alcohol addiction. The supermodel turned to different resources to help her with her sobriety. "The time between 1998 and 2005 was especially bad," she recalled.
"During that time I avoided looking in the mirror, because I didn't like the person who was looking back at me. To be honest, there were times I thought I wouldn't survive. I used to have a lot of problems. Amongst others I drank too much so I joined Alcoholics Anonymous to get and stay sober."
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