The hallmark of creativity is rooted in the desire to bring ideas and spaces into the world that didn’t previously exist. Before our vision can ever become a reality, we first must see it in our hearts and minds. And at every career turn to the early stages of her award-winning podcast, Naked Beauty, that’s been Brooke DeVard Ozaydinli’s edge. “I've always gone out of my way to create things that didn't exist before,” she tells xoNecole. “I've been the person to raise my hand to say I can figure out how to do it.”
Before she became a beauty maven, DeVard was a corporate marketing specialist with a career resume stretching across some of the world’s top companies, including Ralph Lauren and Viacom. Most recently, she acted as the Creator Marketing Manager at Instagram and spearheaded the creation of the official creators' platform. “At Instagram, they didn't have an account to reach creators at scale, so I said we should launch an account so that we could reach them.”
When she first launched her beauty-centric podcast, Naked Beauty, in 2016, DeVard was led by her passion for skincare and beauty and her curiosity for untapped topics around natural hair, DIY beauty rituals, and self-care, thus creating what is now the universe of Naked Beauty Planet.
If you allow your mind to wander back to 2016, memories of “girl boss” culture and the rise of dating content might come to mind. At a time when podcasts and YouTube videos gained ground in pulling on women’s desires for love and corporate ascension, DeVard sought to create an audio experience that spoke to the curiosities of the everyday beauty lover.
“I'm all for empowerment, but I thought, is there a space to talk about the best waterproof mascara if you're going to cry all night?” she shares. That question alone has since laid the foundation to produce over 250 episodes of Naked Beauty, with a community of devoted listeners from all ages and stages of life.
“I want everyone to listen to Naked Beauty and feel like they're having a moment amongst friends,” she says. “To feel like there's that intimacy. I try to allow my guests to feel vulnerable and to share their vulnerabilities.” A guest list of which is peppered with beauty gurus and public figures like Pharrell Williams, Gabrielle Union, and John Legend gracing the mics to share their unique beauty experiences — a feat that DeVard could not have imagined.
“I was really passionate about creating authentic conversations around beauty and self-care in a way that didn't feel geared toward a particular goal, but I had no idea that it would grow as much as it has,” she recalls. “I did not see that at the beginning, but I think passion, hard work, and consistency over time always wins.”
It was these same passions, as DeVard illustrates, that led her to go against the popular adage, “Don’t quit your day job," and follow her creative nudges.
Before taking the leap into full-time creative entrepreneurship, DeVard imagined what life would look like if she truly went all in and bet on herself. “I asked myself, 'What would you do if you weren't afraid? What legacy do you want to leave behind?'” she recalls. “I have always used my time and expertise in service of other brands and companies to build up someone else's vision; but what would it look like to give 100% to my own thing?”
No longer using the “scraps” of her weekends to put towards her creative endeavors and taking failure out of the equation, she drove into her second act as full-time host of Naked Beauty in early June.
“If you are in a position where you have this feeling that you could be doing more or pouring into your own vision and business, you should listen to that,” she says. “Take the leap of faith. You're only here once, you only have one life to live. You don’t want to have that lingering feeling of, What if I had done this?”
As she embarks on a new era of her journey, walking in purpose is what’s making DeVard feel most beautiful. “I feel really beautiful in this era of my life because I feel like living in alignment with what I believe is my purpose and calling,” she says. “I think that when you are operating from this mode that feels like you're listening to your intuition and listening to your higher purpose, that's when I feel the most beautiful.”
xoNecole: What are some ways that you found helpful in building your creative team when you were first starting out?
Brooke DeVard: There are so many super-talented women that work in a corporate, medical, or tech career who have a passion and hunger to do something creative with the extra few hours they get in a week. And they just want to exercise their brain in a more creative way. I have found that if you put out a fun, creative project and ask people in your existing online community for support, you'll be blown away by how many people you would have never even considered would be able to help you.
That could be the person that could help you elevate your vision and potentially work with you part-time.
xoN: As we’ve reached a crossroads in the beauty landscape where beauty standards are being dismantled, and many Black women are embracing new cosmetic procedures, what is your take on the current state of beauty space?
BD: I used to be a little bit more judgmental about cosmetic procedures. But as I've spoken to people on the podcast that do injections and lasers and Botox and all the things, I’ve recognized that is all a beauty choice. We have agency over our bodies the same way if I want to wear red lipstick or get lip filler. I've learned that it's not about what you're “supposed” to do, it's about people being able to choose the aesthetics that they want, and people are entitled to that choice. But I do think it's very important to do your research and due diligence to know the doctor.
"I've recognized that is all a beauty choice. We have agency over our bodies the same way if I want to wear red lipstick or get lip filler. I've learned that it's not about what you're 'supposed' to do."
Photo courtesy of Brooke DeVard
xoN: What are some of the biggest challenges you've faced while building 'Naked Beauty,' and how were you able to overcome them?
BD: Being in a place where I knew I needed support, but I wasn't in a position to hire support. I do think that there's something really beautiful about that time period when you're just starting out on your creative journey, and you have to do everything. You're your own graphic designer and copywriter, but then when your team grows, you're able to brief them on exactly what you want.
There have been times when I've really needed help and wanted to expand myself in these ways, but it's all about patience and giving yourself time to grow at a rate that feels sustainable.
xoN: What advice would you give to someone who is interested in starting their own podcast or pursuing a side hustle in addition to their full-time job?
BD: I would say: just start. Don't let ‘great’ be the enemy of ‘good’ — and done is better than perfect. I think a lot of people get embarrassed about this gap between where they think they should be and where they are now. And if you're doing anything creative, your beginning product is probably not going to be great (unless you're like a prodigy). You have to just start putting yourself and your work out there.
People love to see a ‘come up’ and an evolution. It's an authentic part of your journey, so you've got to lean into those first iterations of your creative work, maybe, won’t be the best, and be okay with that. There's so much to be gained from putting yourself out there.
"People love to see a ‘come up’ and an evolution. It's an authentic part of your journey, so you've got to lean into those first iterations of your creative work, maybe, won’t be the best, and be okay with that. There's so much to be gained from putting yourself out there."
Connecting with other people and having an impact on others has to be what drives and motivates you — not looking cool, or having a certain amount of followers or vanity metrics — that's going to be the thing that allows you to open yourself up to sharing and expressing yourself. That's going to drive you versus getting it exactly perfect.
For more of Brooke, follow her on Instagram @brookedevard. Find episodes of the Naked Beauty podcast here.
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Featured image courtesy of Brooke DeVard
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So, today? Today, we’re going to tackle how sex impacts us when it comes to our energy fields. What (mostly) inspired this is once reading a science-based article about how it is a fact and not a myth that just like plants can absorb energy from other plants, humans can do the same thing by being in the space of other human beings. And when you stop to really think about it, doesn’t that make all of the sense in the world?
Otherwise, there wouldn’t be terms out here like “peer pressure” and big grown folks wouldn’t be out here trying to look and act just like some of their favorite celebrities or IG influencers (and yet, on that point, I digress).
So, since energy impacts us in some pretty significant ways, let’s take a few moments to see how it goes down when it comes to copulation — just so that you’re (even more) aware of what you’re getting yourself into when you “do the do,” as far as your personal energy space is concerned.
Energy. Revisited.
GiphyOkay, so before we get all up in how energy is exchanged during sexual activity, what is energy as it relates to human beings, in general? Well, in some ways, it all depends on who you ask. For instance, the famed Greek philosopher Aristotle once said that energy is about having the capacity to do something. Some medical experts say that energy is all about how something impacts you on a mental or physical level.
For instance, negative energy tends to be very heavy and draining while positive energy can increase feel-good chemicals throughout your system which makes it easier for you to do things like be creative and problem-solve. Something else that I think is important to keep in mind as far as human energy goes is it’s impacted by a myriad of things including a person’s stress levels, how healthy a person is, what their life choices are (as far as how their decisions influence them) and even what their sleep patterns are like.
And if all of this is true, then something else that Aristotle once said about energy would be beyond accurate: “The energy of the mind is the essence of life.”
Energy is life. Whew, so if this is indeed the case, does this mean that when you choose to have sex with someone, you are sharing your life force — whatever state that may be — with someone as they are doing the same to/for/with you? YES.
What Does It Mean to Exchange Sexual Energy?
GiphySince I grew up in an entertainment industry household, I think that’s probably why I’ve ended up with some close friends who are in the industry as well. That said, I will never forget when I was talking to one of them one day about a particular artist. When I expressed how much sex appeal that she had, my (male) friend simply said, “Yeah, I’ve been in her presence a few times before. She has some really dark energy. I didn’t even hug her.”
Now from a scientific standpoint, dark energy is simply what causes the universe to accelerate in growth over a certain period of time; however, when a person is described to have dark energy, that usually means that they have an evil and/or negative and/or heavy and/or draining aura about them. And y’all, here’s what’s semi-wild about what he said: did you know that science backs that hugs do indeed transfer energy?
Yep, research reveals that a hug from someone can literally alter your brain and body chemistry — so you definitely need to be discerning about who you let up into your affection space. Straight up. And so, since a hug has the capacity to do that, how much more can SEX?
To further emphasize this, let’s begin with an article that I read on Healthline’s website entitled, “Do We Really Exchange Energy During Sex?” After checking it out, one of the main things that I appreciated was when a doctor who was interviewed for the piece said:
“Every sex act is an exchange of energy [because] every sexual act raises or lowers your energy level…Therefore, a sexual relationship isn’t a purely psychological or physiological, mechanical act…Rather, it’s an energetic action. When we have an intimate relationship with someone, the two energies merge.”
Okay, so according to science, when two people have sex, energies merge. Well, according to Scripture, when two people have sex, oneness transpires (Genesis 2:24-25). Let’s keep going.
There was once a Physician-scientist by the name of Wilhelm Reich (who actually died in prison, in part, because of his radical beliefs on sex and orgasms during his time), who once said that having a healthy sex life (which, to him, including orgasms and is what he referred to as “orgastic potency”) is what played a huge role in one’s emotional health and well-being. That’s because, to him, without the release of sexual energy, neurological disorders would be come to be.
My takeaway from this is when you think about the fact that things like serotonin, dopamine, and the “the bonding chemical” oxytocin are all released during sex (and most certainly during orgasms), and also since sex (and orgasms) reduce stress — you need to tend to your sexual energy for the sake of your holistic health. Let’s continue on.
After reading an article on sexual energy on Cosmo’s website in which one of the sex therapists said that “our sexuality is our power" and then reading an article on the same topic on Well + Good’s platform where another expert stated that, “Many belief systems believe sexual energy is an expression of the soul's connection to the cosmos and the rest of the universe”, I thought about the word “power” and then “soul connection.”
At the end of the day, power isn’t just ability but the capability to influence and even take authority over something or someone. And a soul connection? Several years ago, when I penned a piece for the platform entitled, “I’ve Got Some Ways For You To Start Pampering Your Soul,” one of the things that I made sure to emphasize is your soul IS also your life. This means that soul connections are life connections.
And so, it would appear that sharing sexual energy also means that you are making a life connection with someone. And that type of connection has the power to influence you in ways that you couldn’t even begin to imagine. That is how deep exchanging sexual energy is.
What You Should Always Keep in Mind Before Sharing Sexual Energy with Someone Else
GiphyNow are there degrees to this whole sexual energy thing? Of course. The type of connection that a husband and wife of 20 years can make via sex is very different than a one-night stand. However, it would appear that science believes that it doesn’t really matter what you tell yourself about sex with someone (or even how many condoms you may use during sex) — potent energy is exchanged regardless.
That’s a huge part of the reason why I will forever roll my eyes about how ridiculous “casual sex” sounds to me, because, although I do believe that it is very possible to engage in coitus that has no real purpose (casual is purposeless, by definition), what isn’t possible is for there not to be a significant connection made from a scientific standpoint. Because again, if a mere hug can alter you (shoot, a handshake too), do you really think that allowing a man’s penis into the sacred space known as your vagina will not? After reading all of this…do you really?
When it comes to energy, author T. Harv Eker once said, “Energy is contagious: either you affect people or you infect people.” With all that was just shared about sexual energy, each and every person you choose to “engage” with, they are either going to affect you or infect you — just with their energy alone.
Knowing this, if there was ever a time to choose wisely, this would be it.
Your energy is your power. Who you exchange power with? CHOOSE WISELY.
EVERY. SINGLE. PERSON.
And because energy can shift…be cognizant of what you’re doing…EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
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Featured image by Giphy