

Yeah. I'm not sure if this is gonna be your favorite read of all time, but what I can assure you is it can help to elevate your health if you take what I'm about to share to heart. The reality is, a lot of us spend a ton of time consuming foods that, while they may not top of the list of the worst foods on the planet, they aren't really the best things for our systems either.
Today, I'm going to share 15 'of em. Even if you decide to keep adding them to your grocery list, my hope is that you'll at least do so a little less. You ready?
1. Bottled Smoothies
Canned fruit. Cantaloupe. Watermelon. Nectarines. Fruit that doesn't have any pulp in them. Guess what all of these fruits have in common—they are low in fiber and oftentimes are "filler fruits" when it comes to the bottled smoothies that you often see at your local grocery store. Aside from that, ready-made bottles smoothies are oftentimes also packed with sugar (that raises your blood sugar) and preservatives (which can weaken heart tissues and oftentimes contain cancer-causing additives). So, if you're a fan of smoothies in the morning, your best bet would be to wake up 20 minutes earlier and make one yourself. That way, you'll know exactly what is going into them.
2. Energy Drinks
I know a guy who is a body builder and a most-of-the-time vegetarian. But man, pretty much every time that I see him, he's got an energy drink in his hand. That's so not good because they contain a ton of caffeine and sugar. That makes them the ultimate stimulant, yes, but they can also significantly increase your heart rate, trigger feelings of anxiety and make it really hard to either go to sleep or stay asleep at night. If energy is something that you struggle with, adding Vitamin B12 to your daily regimen and eating foods like bananas, apples, sweet potatoes, salmon and brown rice are much healthier ways to get what you're looking for.
3. Wheat Bread
Bread is a carb and it's pretty common for carbs to consist of sugar and refined white flour. If you eat too much of them, you have the potential of triggering heart disease, diabetes and definitely obesity. Does this mean you can never enjoy a sandwich? No. Moderation is key. But do make sure that if wheat bread is your thing that you settle for nothing less than the brands that list 100 percent whole wheat bread as the first ingredient on its label. That way, you'll know you're not consuming empty calories only.
4. Fettuccine Alfredo
I already know that some of y'all are rolling your eyes at this one. The thing to keep in mind is that alfredo sauce has tons of cream and butter in it. Then when you throw the "fun carb" known as pasta into the mix—well, you're almost begging to have cholesterol issues at some point.
An alternative is to make your own sauce (you can check out a recipe that doesn't have cream cheese in it here) or you can swap out pasta noodles for zucchini ones. I've done it before and zucchini noodles are absolutely delicious (you can check out a recipe here)!
5. Cheesecake
Definitely one of my favorite desserts to make and eat is cheesecake. Not that non-bake kind either. I'm talking about the kind where the ingredients have to go into a springform pan and bake in the oven for a while (whew!). Yeah, cheesecake is great. It still makes this list, though. Between the cream cheese and sugar, there is plenty of sodium and fat to go around which can easily equate to somewhere between 400-800 calories a slice. If you've got a random taste for one, maybe just crumble up a graham cracker and put some cheesecake-flavored yogurt on top. It's nowhere near the real thing, but it should take a bit of the edge off.
6. Splenda (and Other Artificial Sweeteners)
Yes, artificial sweeteners contain less calories than sugar, but it can be at a pretty high price. Things like aspartame, saccharin, sucralose (which Splenda has a good amount of) and sugar alcohol can trigger headaches, digestive problems and food cravings. Unfortunately, long-term use of artificial sweeteners is linked to cancer too. So, if you want to sweeten your food without the use of sugar, some alternatives to consider include honey, coconut sugar, monk fruit extracts, date paste and molasses.
7. Chinese Food
Who doesn't like Chinese food? I mean, really. The main issue with it is that the sodium levels of most signature dishes is totally off of the charts! For instance, I once read that a plate of stir-fried greens has a whopping 900 calories and well over 2,000 grams of sodium (geeze). Too much sodium can lead to hypertension, and since heart disease, strokes and hypertension are some of the top 10 leading causes of death for us, well…you can see why ordering Chinese needs to be done more sparingly than most of us typically do it (and why you might want to purchase a wok and make some stir fry at home).
8. Refried Beans
Ain't nothin' like some refried beans and rice, right? While beans are pretty good for you (they are loaded with protein, iron, potassium, magnesium and fiber), when you bring lard into the mix, that makes a lot of that close to being irrelevant. Lard is loaded with saturated fat and too much of that can lead to heart disease, high cholesterol and diabetes. If you must, make your own refried beans (there's a delicious black bean recipe here) or look for the low-sodium vegetarian kind. It's better for you and, when you season it right, it almost tastes the same.
9. Meatloaf
Homemade meatloaf is a staple in a lot of homes, but between the beef, breadcrumbs and salt, it's another kind of food that can wreak absolute havoc if you don't eat it in moderation. Beef is high in saturated and trans fat. Breadcrumbs contain off-the-chart levels of corn syrup and sodium. And salt is loaded with sodium.
One way to get around all of this (at least a little bit) is to substitute the beef for turkey. Turkey is significantly learner than beef is. Oh, and crushed oats or crackers is a cool alternative for breadcrumbs (the oats more than the crackers, by the way).
10. Mayonnaise
Personally, I'm not the biggest fan of mayonnaise, so it's no hair off of my back here. But if you adore it with every fiber of your being, there are a few things you should know. One, mayonnaise is chock-full of sugar, sodium and preservatives. Two, a lot of nutritionists consider it to be the unhealthiest condiment there is. Three, have you ever wondered why, even though mayonnaise has eggs in it, the eggs never separate in its container? Eww. You'd be much better off making some of your own with the help of Greek yogurt, Dijon mustard and white vinegar. If you want to learn how, check out this recipe here.
11. Protein Bars
Are you in a rush and you want to grab something to snack on real quick? Got it. Just make sure that it's not a protein bar. Why is a protein bar not the best solution? Let me count the ways. It's got sugar. It's got preservatives. Many of them have the artificial color of caramel. It's pretty common for protein bars to have polysorbate 60 (an emulsifier that can produce all kinds of toxic compounds in your system) too. Not to mention that brands like the Nutramino Coconut Protein Bar is equal to the caloric count of a freakin' Big Mac (what in the world?!). So, are all protein bars created equal? Eh. Not totally. The key is to make sure that sugar isn't the first ingredient on the label, there are more than 10 grams of protein listed and, there are no sugar alcohols in them like xylitol, sorbitol, isomalt and glycerol; all of those are considered to be artificial sweeteners, and we already discussed why those are absolute no-nos when it comes to your health.
12. Applesauce
This one probably seems blasphemous, right? Here's the deal—a lot of applesauce has high fructose corn syrup in it. If you don't know why that's not a good thing, high fructose corn syrup is an artificial sweetener, made from corn syrup that 1) puts way too much sugar into your system, 2) increases your risk of being diagnosed with fatty liver disease, and 3) is linked to diabetes, heart disease and cancer.
So, are there any healthy applesauce brands out in the world? A few. Epicurious did us all a solid and published "The Best Applesauce You Can Buy at the Store" that features 28 different kinds for your perusing pleasure. Or again, you can always go the DIY route (there's a recipe for that here).
13. Taco Bowl
Meat. Rice. Sour cream. A fried tortilla. Other stuff. All of this explains why taco bowls (no matter how delicious they may be) are loaded with calories, sodium and fat. If you want to take the health risks down a notch, either have the meat without the fried tortilla (consider an unfried one instead) or go without the meat. Either way, this is something that you definitely shouldn't have 2-3 days a week on your lunch break. So, when you order (or make) one, just remember to act like it's a treat rather than a staple.
14. Instant Oatmeal
If you first looked at this one and said to yourself, "I thought that oatmeal was good for me", you'd be right. Oatmeal is a gluten-free grain that has all kinds of vitamins, minerals and fiber in it. Oatmeal is also dope because it can lower your cholesterol levels and help to keep heart disease at bay. The problem with instant oatmeal is 1) it's got preservatives in it and 2) it usually contains hydrogenated soybean oil too. What's wrong with that type of oil? For one thing, it has trans fatty acids that can increase your risk of atherosclerosis and coronary heart disease. Also, soybeans contain phytoestrogens (a plant-based form of estrogen). Too much of that can throw your hormone levels all the way off. Yeah, make your own oatmeal instead.
15. Bottled Water
Thankfully, bottled water is more regulated by the FDA than it used to be. Still, something that many bottled water brands contain is BPA (Bisphenol-A). The problem with BPA is it can disrupt your hormones in a way that can cause all sorts of drama. It can alter your hormones, increase the risk of cancer and have possible effects on the brain, especially when it comes to young children. In order to avoid all of this, it's probably best to put a filter on your faucet and purchase a BPA-free bottle to put the water in. That way, you can drink up with absolutely no worries. Enjoy!
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'Sistas' Star Skyh Black On The Power Of Hypnotherapy & Emotional Vulnerability For Men
In this insightful episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Sistas star Skyh Black, as he opened up about his journey of emotional growth, resilience, and self-discovery. The episode touches on emotional availability, self-worth, masculinity, and the importance of therapy in overcoming personal struggles.
Skyh Black on Emotional Availability & Love
On Emotional Availability & Vulnerability
“My wife and I wouldn't be where we are today if both of us weren't emotionally available,” he shared about his wife and Sistas co-star KJ Smith, highlighting the value of vulnerability and emotional openness in a relationship. His approach to masculinity stands in contrast to the traditional, stoic ideals. Skyh is not afraid to embrace softness as part of his emotional expression.
On Overcoming Self-Doubt & Worthiness Issues
Skyh reflected on the self-doubt and worthiness issues that he struggled with, especially early in his career. He opens up about his time in Los Angeles, living what he calls the “LA struggle story”—in a one-bedroom with three roommates—and being homeless three times over the span of 16 years. “I always had this self-sabotaging thought process,” Skyh said. “For me, I feel therapy is essential, period. I have a regular therapist and I go to a hypnotherapist.”
How Therapy Helped Him Heal From Self-Doubt
On Hypnotherapy & Empowering Self-Acceptance
Skyh’s journey is a testament to the power of tapping into self-development despite life’s struggles and being open to growth. “I had to submit to the fact that God was doing good in my life, and that I'm worthy of it. I had a worthiness issue and I did not realize that. So, that’s what the hypnotherapy did. It brought me back to the core. What is wrong so that I can fix it?”
Watch the full podcast episode below:
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Women Are (Still) Spelling 'Coconut' With Their Hips. And Guys Are Losing Their Damn Minds.
While prepping for a podcast interview a while back, because I received the questions beforehand, I did a bit of research into one of the inquiries: what are men’s current favorite sex positions? I doubt any of you are shocked by the fact that what continued to pop up (like here, here, and here) was doggy style and the cowgirl position (i.e., when a woman is on top).
When it comes to ridin’, specifically, that got me to thinking about something that was all over the internet a few years ago: women who were advising that you spell “coconut” with your hips, during sex, in order for you and your partner to receive maximum pleasure and satisfaction.
When I asked a few women I know if they ever tried that before, I was surprised to discover that not only had they, but many didn’t treat it as some random social media fad — they actually still do it to this day. Partly, because it’s fun to them and partly because their partner(s) seem to go crazy for it.
Listen, any time something sexual works like a charm, I’m going to shout it out — (late) trend or not. And so, if you’ve never heard of the whole coconut thing, you tried it and forgot all about it, or you just want to try something new/different/else tonight — here’s a reminder, in article form, that coconut-ting is still alive and well, y’all. And the men are all about it!
But First, The Grapefruit Technique
Video Credit: Myem/YouTube (Funny part starts at 2:40)
If this woman is not familiar to you on sight, you ain’t a real one. LOL. Although I know that a lot of people think that the concept of grapefruiting came from the movie Girls Trip (you can see the clip from the film here) that absolutely is not the case. Auntie Angel (whose real name is reportedly Denise Walker) is the creator of the Grapefruit Technique and although I thought that this video came out way earlier, apparently it made its way onto the YouTube streets sometime back in 2014.
If for some reason, you’re not familiar with grapefruiting on any level, I will tell you right now that I had to download this video because it is absolutely NSFW — so you should probably watch it on your lunch break (on your phone with the volume as low as possible) or at home…because chile, the sound effects? Whew, the sound effects. LOL. However, when I sat down to pen this piece, I thought it was hilarious that this video is what immediately came to mind because it seems like, when it comes to “blow his mind sex hacks,” fruit is constantly on the menu.
When it comes to oral sex, it’s grapefruit.
When it comes to ride ‘em cowgirl, it’s a coconut.
What Is the “Coconut” Sex Trend?
@windy_moraba #duet with @mysteri0us.gir1 spell coconut with your waist 😂😂😂
Okay, so what in the world does a coconut have to do with intercourse? Well, for starters, if you and your partner are looking for an all-natural lubricant, coconut oil works well. HOWEVER, do keep in mind that the disclaimer on this is you shouldn’t use it if condoms are in the mix because they can actually cause rubbers to be less effective (silicone lube is a solid bet for condoms, by the way).
There is another way that coconuts are kinda-sorta incorporated when it comes to making sex more pleasurable — and it actually became pretty popular right after COVID lockdown (2021): spelling C-O-C-O-N-U-T with your hips while you’re on top of your partner.
It’s wild how I forgot all about this until a client of mine was telling me how much her husband liked her on top while it wasn’t her favorite thing to do because it felt awkward to her. When I said, “Have you ever heard of spelling ‘coconut’ with your hips before?” — at first, she looked at me like I was crazy and then she busted out laughing: “Girl, no” was her reply.
Hmph. Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it because, as wild as it might sound on the surface, the word isn’t the point so much as the movements that come with spelling it out are.
When you’re moving your pelvis around to make a “c,” “o” or U-turn, not only does it intensify the level of sensation that both you and your partner feel during intercourse, it can also increase the level of blood circulation to both of your genitalia which can make your orgasms more satisfying too.
At the end of the day, spelling “coconut” is simply reminding you that there are more options to riding than simply sitting there while your partner pumps for all he’s worth or you humping up and down like you’re on a pogo stick.
Spelling “coconut” is an easy hack to bring some variety into cowgirling. However…
Honestly, the “Fruit” Isn’t the Point. THIS IS.
From grapefruiting and spelling “coconut” to reading articles that I’ve penned for the platform like “How To Improve The Taste Of Sperm” — fruit and sex are always going to be a winning combination, one way or another. However, the main point of this article isn’t about making sure that you are a master speller so much as providing you with tips that will make the cowgirl position something that you are confident about and you find a ton of fulfillment in doing.
You can make both of these things happen by incorporating the following things:
Stretch beforehand. A charley horse during sex is the worst thing ever — and chile, don’t let it be right before you’re about to climax. SMDH. Yeah, if you want to feel more comfortable when you’re on top, make sure that you stretch beforehand and that you are well-hydrated. That will reduce the chances of experiencing a totally-out-of-nowhere muscle spasm — whether you decide to “spell” during sex or…not.
Bring pillows into the mix. Sometimes riding is a challenge because your partner feels farther away from your body than you would like. Putting a pillow underneath him can help to elevate his pelvis, so that you don’t feel like you’re stretching and straining. Speaking of pillows, a longer one can really come in handy because it can give your knees some additional support as well.
Also, ask him to put his knees up. Speaking of making the “grind” easier for you, ask your partner to put his knees up. That way, your back can recline on his legs as you’re moving your hips around. You’d be amazed how much this one hack can do for you. Straight up.
Add lube. When you get a chance, check out “The Wetter, The Better: 10 Creative Ways To Use Lubricant” and you will automatically see why bringing lubrication into a cowgirl session is an absolute must. It reduces friction. It makes your movements glide with ease. And it’s just more fun. Promise you that.
Lean in. If your partner happens to be on the larger side of life, one way that you can control his depth is by leaning forward into him. That way, your hips can better control how much or little he is inside of you, so that you can get into a position that gives you the sensation that you are looking for.
Get him to multitask. Again, whether you are spelling “coconut” or not and whether you are riding cowgirl or reverse cowgirl — something that is awesome about being on top is it frees your partner’s hands to do, umm, other things. And since it is so much easier to have an orgasm while your clitoris is being stimulated, get your partner to put some of the lube that we discussed earlier on his fingertips, so that he can gently rub on your clitoris while you are riding him. It doesn’t get much better than that!
Don’t wanna spell? Hula Hoop then. What if you try the whole coconut thing and it’s not a favorite for you (or him)? No problem — when’s the last time that you hula hooped? Pretend that you have one of those around your hips and move around that way. I’d be shocked if you ended up feeling “meh” about that option.
5 Guys Tell Me What They Love When Their Partner Is on Top
A part of the reason why I am “team cowgirl” is because it provides a lot of benefits to the woman: she has more control, it tends to be more comfortable for her, it’s a great position for a quickie and the orgasms tend to be that much more — wonderful. However, as I was thinking about spelling coconut, in general, I couldn’t help but wonder what guys thought about it and the cowgirl position overall.
If you’re curious, here’s what five of ‘em said.
1. Braxford. Engaged. 35. “Y’all be spelling up there? Who knew? My favorite thing about when my fiancée is on top is what I think every man likes: the view. It’s a chance to see her entire body and experience it at the same time. Not even doggy style accomplishes that. Damn, where’s my lady at?”
2. Denez. Single. 42. “Do you know how many ‘spots’ you have access to when y’all are on top? Breasts are in my mouth. Hickeys are on her neck. Prop my head up on a pillow and her tummy is getting licked. When a woman is riding you, it’s sensory overload! It’s crazy how each one looks amazing in that position too.”
3. Omar. In a Serious Relationship. 29. “[He said her name yet I’m not going to share it] isn’t a very vocal lover. Her body and technique are insane, so even though I love dirty talk, I’ve learned to compromise — except when she’s on top. She’s not saying much but those moans? And yeah, we tried the coconut thing. ‘Cs’ and ‘Os,’ hell yeah. ‘Ns’ and “Ts’? Nah.”
4. Nolen. Single. 45. “45 isn’t old but it’s old enough for your back to show out on you when you least expect it. My experience has been that women don’t want a lot of thrusting when they are on top, so it’s like having some of the best sex without having to do much at all. Well, aside from trying not to bust too quickly. I take that back: riding is easy on the body; it’s work on the brain.”
5. Ivan. Married. 37. “I like the spelling sh-t because it switches things up. We make a game out of it by her picking a word and spelling out while I try and guess what it is. We also try to see how many words that we can get to before one of us cums. 12 words is pushing it unless it’s like ‘dog’ or ‘cat’ or something. I’ve guessed ‘coconut’ a few times and I get what the excitement is all about. Spelling bee sex: try it.”
Yep. I concur.
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