If you've ever wondered where the word "aphrodisiac" actually comes from, you can pretty much thank the Greek goddess of love, Aphrodite. Because food and sex are pretty much the strongest appetites that we have and since they both appeal to all five of our senses — sight, taste, touch, smell, and hearing — the belief is there are foods that can intensify our desire for physical intimacy. And yes, these foods are called aphrodisiacs.
Because fall is my absolute favorite season of the year and also because I'm all about encouraging everyone in earshot to go to their local farmers market to get some produce when it's in season (because that's when fruits and veggies are their freshest and you can get the most nutrients out of them), I thought it would be cool to share a list of some fruits and veggies that are currently in season and, as you soon will see, also qualify as being deliciously stimulating aphrodisiacs too.
1. Apples
While apples are clearly available all throughout the year, it might surprise you to know that their actual peak season is early fall thru late winter. So, if you're all about homemade apple crisp or apple cheddar soup, this would be the ideal time to make either or both. Health-wise, apples are good for you because they are a great source of Vitamin C and fiber. Plus, they're able to help to keep you regular, lower your cholesterol levels, support your immune system, give you good gut health (due to the prebiotics that are in them), reduce your chances of becoming diabetic and, they even contain compounds that help to fight asthma.
And just why are apples an aphrodisiac? Well, two other things that this particular fruit has in it are polyphenols and antioxidants. Both of these can help to stimulate blood flow, including to your genital region. There are also studies that say apples can improve the sex quality of young women. So, if it's been a minute since you've snacked on one, what are you waiting for, sis?
Apple Recipe: The Best Cheddar Apple Soup
2. Eggplant
I don't know about y'all but a question that irks me is, "What do you know how to cook?" Not because I mind discussing the kitchen and what happens in it, but what kind of general question is that? What I will say is one of my favorite DIY dishes is eggplant parmesan. Due to its texture, it's a great meat substitute. On the benefits tip, this is a fruit (yes, fruit) that contains a good amount of fiber and protein. It's also pretty cool as far as manganese content goes. If you're wondering what else makes it so good for you, eggplant contains antioxidants that fight off free radicals and it's known to keep blood sugar levels in check.
Sexually, it really should come as no surprise that eggplants are on the list (I mean, considering the emoji meaning and all), but if you're wondering exactly why this is the case, the potassium that's in it helps to lower one's blood pressure which can help your partner to maintain his erection. Eggplant also has Vitamin B6 which is awesome when it comes to boosting sexual performance overall.
Eggplant Recipe: Baigan Chokha
3. Pumpkin
Of course, pumpkins are on here! They are the quintessential fall food. Tons of fiber and protein, a huge amount of Vitamin A, some Vitamin C, potassium, copper, manganese, and iron are all reasons to get in on this seasonal fall fruit. As a bonus, the antioxidants in pumpkin help to keep chronic diseases from forming, the beta-carotene in it can strengthen your immune system and it even contains compounds that are really good for your skin.
As far as your sex life goes, the focus needs to mostly go into the seeds of the pumpkin. That's because they are full of omega-3 fatty acids which are lipid compounds that help to keep your sexual health intact. Also, pumpkin seeds are known to support prostate health, and, thanks to the zinc that they also have in them, pumpkin seeds can improve sperm quality if you and your partner are currently trying to conceive.
Pumpkin Recipe: Spiced Pumpkin Latte Cheesecake
4. Pears
Pears are one of those fruits that I have to be in the mood to eat yet I never regret it whenever I bite into one. Let me tell you, thanks to all of the fiber that's in it, it really is one of the sweetest ways to stay regular. Straight up. Aside from that, pears are good for you because they've got a fair amount of Vitamin C and copper. Pears also help to keep your gut in good shape, contain the compounds lutein and zeaxanthin which are good for your vision, are able to lower your diabetes risk, can help you to lose weight, and are rich in flavonoids which ultimately reduce your body's chances of experiencing any inflammation.
Maybe it's just me but pears look kinda sexy, thanks to their feminine curves yet I digress (LOL). Because this fruit is full of anthocyanins, flavones, and flavanones, it's got a pretty good reputation for naturally treating men who may deal with erectile dysfunction on some level.
Pear Recipe: Caramelized Pear and Bourbon Turnovers
5. Kale
Did you know that kale is a part of the cabbage family? While it's another food that you probably don't think about having a peak season, it is mostly harvested between the early fall and late wintertime. Since it happens to be a dark leafy green, I'm pretty sure that you know that, health-wise, kale's benefits are pretty much off the charts! Y'all, the daily value of Vitamin A in kale is 206 percent, in Vitamin C, it's 164 percent and in Vitamin K, it's a whopping 684 percent. The antioxidants quercetin and kaempferol in kale help to prevent the kind of oxidative damage that can lead to cancer. Kale also helps your system to build calcium and is a pretty good source of minerals like magnesium which can help to de-stress you.
It's actually the magnesium in kale that makes it a great food for sex. For one thing, it helps your body to produce the hormones that help to keep your libido intact. Magnesium also makes it easier for testosterone to flow freely throughout the body of men and women which results in your sex drive going up a couple of notches. And finally, because Vitamin A deficiency plays a direct role in fertility issues among so many women, if you want to make a baby, a kale salad or some kale chips can help you out — naturally.
Kale Recipe: Sautéed Kale
6. Figs
Figs are a bit of an acquired taste; still, I can get down with them when it comes to certain dishes. Health-wise, they are a good source of fiber. They're also known for boosting digestive health, improving blood fat levels, managing blood sugar levels and, in extract form, figs are pretty great at helping to boost collagen, strengthen skin cells and reduce the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles.
Remember how I said earlier that I think pears are kinda sexy in their appearance? This is how many people feel about figs; they even think its smell is a bit of a turn-on. When it comes to your actual sex life, though, the amino acids in this fruit can help to trigger your libido. Also, it has magnesium and potassium that can help to balance your body's electrolytes, decrease your body's blood pressure and increase your libido and stamina.
Fig Recipe: Fall Fig and Chicken Sandwich
7. Butternut Squash
You can also find butternut squash all of the time, but it is known to be best around this time of the year. What I really like about it is it's the kind of veggie that is, oddly enough, both sweet and nutty at the same time. And if you're looking for something that is pretty much a multivitamin-food, butternut squash has totally got your back because it's rich in fiber, protein, vitamins A and C and tons of other vitamins and minerals while being a low-calorie food too. The carotenoids (which is what gives the squash its color) help with cell growth as well as eye and bone health. It's also a food that's pretty good at supporting digestion and boosting your immunity.
OK, aside from the fact that in the sexual position world, there is something known as the "butternut squash" (chile…CHILE. You can read about it here), this is another food that is high in omega-3s which can also help to increase dopamine levels. This is a good thing because dopamine is a natural hormone that helps our system to detect when we experience feelings of pleasure and sex definitely falls under that category. Amen? Sho' you right.
Butternut Squash Recipe: Roasted Butternut Squash
8. Cranberries
Cranberry sauce. I'm pretty sure that at least half of y'all are gonna make or eat some before this year is out. Although, in their purest form, cranberries lean towards the tart/bitter side on the taste tip, they actually contain about four grams of fructose per serving. They also have a lot of fiber, a little bit of protein and some Vitamin B, C, E, manganese and copper, along with some pretty powerful plant compounds and antioxidants. I'm pretty certain that cranberry's most popular health benefit is it has phytonutrients in it that help to prevent and health UTIs (urinary tract infections). It's also got compounds that can help to prevent stomach ulcers and liver disease.
So, what can cranberries do for your sex life? The Vitamin C in them helps to synthesize sex and fertility hormones like androgen, estrogen and progesterone. The Vitamin E in them increases blood circulation from head to toe. The Vitamin Bs in them can relax you and stimulate your libido at the same time.
Cranberry Recipe: Cranberry Smoothie9. Arugula
If you've ever eaten arugula before, you know that it has a bit of a bitter and peppery taste to it. Vitamins A, C and K, potassium, folate and calcium are just some of the nutrients that it contains. Because it's also a dark leafy green, it's a good source of fiber, it helps to improve bone and teeth health, it supports your muscles working properly and it helps your cells to stay healthy and strong.
Between the nutrients that I just mentioned and the antioxidants that are also in arugula, it's a valid aphrodisiac because the properties in it also help to fight off free radicals — the kind that play a direct role in causing your libido to tank, if you're not careful.
Arugula Recipe: Thai Steak and Noodle Salad10. Passion Fruit
One more. How could something with the name "PASSION fruit" not be an aphrodisiac? Fiber, vitamins A and C, antioxidants, and potassium are plentiful in this fruit, and they all work together to help to reduce your diabetes risk, boost your immunity, support your heart health, and decrease any anxiety that you may be experiencing.
Because the potassium in this fruit helps to keep your blood pressure where it needs to be while its medicinal alkaloids and several phytonutrients help you to sleep well and the Vitamin A in it helps to produce testosterone (which you and your partner's libido absolutely need), this is why it can never hurt to bring a few slices of passion fruit into your boudoir. It's sweet. It's sexy. And it bona fide in-fall-season aphrodisiac. Eat up and enjoy!
Passion Fruit Recipe: Pan Fried Salmon with Passion Fruit Sauce
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
The Final Mercury Retrograde Of 2024 Is Here—How This Bold Energy Will Shift Your Perspective
The final Mercury retrograde of the year arrives this month, and this is an opportunity to close one chapter and prepare for a new one. Mercury retrogrades are the time of the year when you take a step back, assess where your life currently is, and be a little more flexible with how things are playing out for you. When Mercury is in retrograde, miscommunications and misdirections are more likely; however, this isn’t the time to fear where you are headed; it’s more about looking at things from a different perspective right now.
Mercury enters Sagittarius on November 2, will be retrograde from Nov. 25 until Dec. 15, and will be in this sign until Jan. 8, 2025. Mercury in Sagittarius is bold and outspoken but, in retrograde, can come across as impulsive and brash. Thinking before speaking is important right now, and so is considering your values and interests before committing to something new. Since Sagittarius rules long-distance travel, this isn’t the best time to plan a new trip or to rush the ones already in place.
Consider where you want to be, and take your time getting there.
What to Expect from Mercury Retrograde in Sagittarius
A little more than a week after Mercury goes retrograde in Sagittarius, Mars goes retrograde in Leo. With these important transits happening in fire signs, energy can be misdirected right now. It’s about looking at the full picture and not overwhelming yourself with too many options or interests. Take your passions and align them with your heart and willpower, without confusing inspiration with ego. Emotions are running high, yet this activation is creating a breakthrough in personal development before the year ends.
Read below to see how this Mercury retrograde transit will be for you. Read for your sun sign and rising sign.
Your Sun Sign and Rising Sign Horoscopes for Mercury Retrograde in Sagittarius
ARIES
Mercury goes retrograde in Sagittarius, and you are focused on the bigger picture right now, Aries. With Mercury retrograde in your 9th house of adventure over the next few weeks, this is the time to expect the unexpected and to go at your own pace. Don’t rush the clarity that is meant to bloom for you right now, and take things one day at a time.
Even if you don’t have all the answers you need right now, there are still some important truths and insights to gain. You are in the process of reinventing yourself and your life, and the universe is helping you get the space in order to do so. If you are traveling over the next few weeks, remember to be flexible and to go over plans thoroughly.
TAURUS
Mercury goes retrograde, and you enter a time of change and rebirth, Taurus. This transit, for you, is an opportunity to gain balance, perspective, and empowerment. Your commitments and close partnerships are being addressed right now, and you are seeing where your needs are being met and where they aren’t. You are on a journey of letting go and allowing more, and this is the time to focus on being more flexible rather than controlling outcomes.
This retrograde could also be affecting your shared finances and earnings, and this is a good time to take another look at the money coming in and the money going out and make sure things are in order here. Trust your intuition right now, Taurus.
GEMINI
Mercury goes retrograde in your sister sign, Sagittarius, and you are ready for a fresh perspective in love. This retrograde will highlight your 7th house of partnership, connection, romance, and inner harmony, and your heart is figuring things out right now. Confusion or disagreements are more likely within your relationship dynamics, and this is the time to address what your partnerships need.
If you have been feeling out of balance when it comes to love, then this is the time to get things back on track.
This Mercury retrograde is helping you gain a new perspective and reminds you that you deserve the love you are looking for. Use this time to forgive, grow, and use better judgment regarding matters of the heart and the relationships you are building in your life right now.
Coveteur
CANCER
This Mercury retrograde transit for you is a chance to gain some renewed clarity regarding your health, well-being, and work life. You could be feeling more pressure to perform and have it all together on the job, and there is a need to delegate, let go, and take care of your health more right now, Cancer.
This transit will highlight where some cracks are seeping, where you may need to build stronger foundations and healthier daily routines, and also how you can manage a better work/life balance. Your daily lifestyle may feel a little more difficult to find consistency in right now, and this is because new avenues and perspectives are waiting for you to grab ahold of. Overall, use this time to listen to your inner voice and do more of what feels right for you and your body.
LEO
Mercury goes retrograde in Sagittarius, and this transit highlights your 5th house of romance, creativity, passion, and happiness, Leo. This retrograde is an opportunity for you to address what and who makes you happy and how you can show up more for these fortunate experiences in your life. You are looking at if you’ve been making your happiness as much of a priority as it should be this year and also taking a look at what sources help you align with that energy altogether.
This time is about being a little bit more flexible, doing things differently, and being open to a new perspective. Relationship developments are also providing your heart more clarity right now, and you are balancing your needs with the needs of your partnerships and creative ventures.
VIRGO
Your ruling planet Mercury goes retrograde before the year ends, and this is helping you rebuild your foundations, Virgo. Mercury will be retrograde in an area of your life that has to do with your home, history, family, and emotional stability- and you are getting a new grasp on things here.
Where you have been planting your seeds and building for your future are coming up for review during this time, and you are gaining clarity on which of these foundations is stable enough to continue to build upon. You could be feeling less secure than you would like to right now, and this change of pace is helping you reassess your goals and figure out what is worth it for you and the legacy you want to live.
Coveteur
LIBRA
Mercury goes retrograde in Sagittarius, and the focus turns towards your communication channels, Libra. Mercury retro is already a more chaotic time when it comes to communication, and with this retrograde also happening in your 3rd house of insight and communication, you may feel this heaviness a little more right now.
This transit, for you, is about taking your time getting your message across, being patient while traveling and running errands, and giving yourself space to gain some new clarity.
Meditation, journaling, and talking to someone who can support you are therapeutic, and know that your voice deserves to be heard. You are looking at ways you can take up more space and show up in the world without letting your insecurities keep you away from true connection, vulnerability, and understanding.
SCORPIO
This Mercury retrograde is happening in your 2nd house of income, values, assets, and self-confidence, and you are taking a step back to assess your current reality, especially financially, Scorpio. This is a good time to go over your spending habits and earnings, to find greater balance here, and to think about some of your financial goals moving forward.
Look at your resources, skills, and talents, and make sure what you are receiving is equal to or greater than what you have been giving. Less is more right now, and this isn’t the best time to overspend or overindulge, as you need more time to grasp your current stance on things, and how to increase your overall wealth and abundance.
SAGITTARIUS
With this Mercury retrograde happening in your sign, it’s hitting a little closer to home for you, Sagittarius. This is a good time to refine your goals and direction in life and how you want to show up right now. You deserve to be able to change your mind when you need to, and you are thinking about some of the things you have done and what you want to do moving forward.
Miscommunications are more likely while Mercury is in retrograde, but you can use this as a source of empowerment, knowing that you are living in your truth and allowing yourself room to grow in the process. Remember to be a little kinder to yourself during this transit and to give yourself the grace you need right now.
Coveteur
CAPRICORN
This Mercury retrograde for you, Capricorn, is about rest and taking care of your emotional world. You are being given the opportunity to spend more time alone, to gather your strength, and to heal before you enter the new year. A lot has happened, and there have been many changes in your world this year. This Mercury retrograde is here to help you find acceptance and closure.
You are in a preparation stage right now, and things can feel a little more lonesome in this energy, but with a different perspective, you can see just how much of this space your heart truly needs right now. The past is coming up for you to see things in a new light, and you are ready to gain some renewed insight, closure, and healing.
AQUARIUS
This Mercury retrograde highlights your friendships, community, and your hopes and dreams, Aquarius. You are being reminded of the importance of connection, but more significantly, of good connections. You are looking at who and what surrounds you right now and gaining clarity on whether this energy matches who you are and the things that you stand for.
Your social circle and the people around you are shifting as the power dynamics do, and you are finding your place and purpose amidst this change. It’s about identifying who and what makes you feel good and aligning things in your life to bring in more of that energy. Don’t be discouraged right now; find your people and ask for support.
PISCES
Your career and ambitions are the focus during this Mercury retrograde, Pisces. You have a lot to address here, and you are gathering your skills and talents and reminding yourself that you are worthy of your dreams. Miscommunications and setbacks are more likely within your professional world, but they are here to ask you if what you are striving for, is really what you need right now.
You are thinking a lot about how you show up in the world, what you want to be known for, and what successes you still want to obtain. This isn’t the time to let anyone’s idea or vision of you define who you are; rather, define that for yourself. Show up as you want to be seen, and don’t count yourself out right now, Pisces.
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The Holiday Bedroom Debate: Sleeping Together, Apart, Or Not At All?
I can’t speak for everyone, but my grandmother has strict rules around who can share a bed at her house. No one will ever be “shacking up” under her roof, so for me and her other grandchildren, that means leaving your boyfriend/girlfriend at home or footing the bill for a hotel during an already costly holiday season. Even for family members who have more liberal house rules, sharing a home with my parents will ensure a silent night for us all.
The holidays bring joy, connection, and quality time with loved ones—but they can also put a damper on intimacy for couples. It’s hard to get your jingle bells rocked when you have family sleeping under the same roof. Family visits and hosting obligations often disrupt intimacy, raising questions like: Should we have sex when relatives are in the next room? Should we follow traditional family rules about sleeping arrangements? How can we even find the time to have sex? And how do we balance respecting traditions with honoring our relationship?
Navigating these dynamics can be particularly challenging when we factor in cultural, familial, and sometimes religious expectations. Sharing space with family doesn’t have to send you into a dry spell. Here’s a guide to maintaining intimacy and harmony during holiday gatherings so that presents aren’t the only thing getting unwrapped this Christmas.
Grandma Says “No Shacking Up!” and Other Common Challenges
So we know that many families with conservative values may not want unmarried couples sleeping in bed together. They may not even like the idea of married couples having sex while family is visiting. Danielle Simpson-Baker, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, explains that “limited privacy, cultural or family-imposed rules, and differing expectations about behavior in shared spaces can lead to disconnection.”
Stress from hosting or visiting family, paired with packed schedules, can exacerbate these feelings and leave little time for you to connect with your loved one. Stress on its own is a known libido killer, but when paired with complicated family dynamics, you can be sure that sex will be a low priority. Who has time anyway? We’re hosting!
For unmarried couples, family norms often add an extra layer of complexity. Catherine Drysdale, a Sex and Relationship Coach, notes, “The holidays can disrupt intimacy in all the usual ways—shared bedrooms, squeaky beds, and not-so-subtle interruptions. Add in the pressure to appear as the perfect couple in front of relatives, and emotional and physical connection often takes a backseat.” Put all of this together, and you have the perfect recipe for low desire and anxiety around sex.
Couples may also be nervous that family will hear them if they decide to do more than just kiss under the mistletoe. The supposed embarrassment alone can keep lovers from even attempting to be intimate, even if they really want to.
How To Navigate? Communicate and Set Expectations
Communication is lubrication, so having an open dialogue with your partner before the holidays is essential.
Discuss potential discomforts and agree on boundaries. “Ask questions like: Are we okay abstaining from sex for a few days? How do we feel about sharing a bed if it’s against family rules?” advises Simpson-Baker. Being on the same page means you can present a united front to family when the time comes and avoid any conflict.
Drysdale suggests creating a “yes/no/maybe” list to clarify comfort levels. “The goal is to avoid surprises or misunderstandings once you’re there,” she explains. Setting an intention for the trip—whether it’s prioritizing family harmony or finding small moments to connect—can also help. No matter what people may think, sex is important! It’s okay to prioritize intimacy, even during the holidays.
Respect Family Rules While Honoring Your Relationship
While it is important to communicate with your partner before settling in with family, balancing their expectations with yours can be a delicate, but necessary, dance. Simpson-Baker emphasizes the importance of balance: “Minor compromises—like sleeping separately—don’t define the strength of your relationship. At the same time, if certain boundaries feel overly restrictive, couples can advocate for themselves respectfully.” This is where being a united front comes in. Getting clear on what feels acceptable to you and your partner ahead of time will help these tough conversations go a bit smoother.
It may also help to talk to your family before the holiday celebrations begin. Gwen Walsh, a Sex Educator and Consultant, shares a personal example: “I communicated with my mom why it was important to me to sleep in the same bed as my partner. I asked her to give me an opportunity to earn her trust. After a long conversation, she agreed to compromise.” While this approach isn’t guaranteed to work in every situation, it highlights the value of respectful communication.
Creative Ways To Maintain Intimacy While Visiting Family
When family doesn’t budge or if you just decide it is not that big of a deal, there are still ways to prioritize intimacy. If privacy for physical intimacy isn’t possible, focus on emotional and non-sexual forms of connection. Simpson-Baker suggests small gestures like “squeezing each other’s hand under the table or sharing a quiet conversation at night.” Small gestures still matter and can help couples maintain a sense of normalcy.
Sexologist Natassia Miller also highlights the importance of daily rituals. “Prioritize non-sexual touch. A long hug or a six-second kiss can maintain your connection and decrease stress levels,” she advises. These small daily rituals can also serve as a form of extended foreplay, setting you up for an explosive connection when the holidays are done.
The Bigger Picture
While holiday dynamics can feel overwhelming, it’s important to remember that these moments are temporary. Whether you’re sneaking in a private conversation during a walk or laughing together over a family tradition, small acts of connection can sustain your relationship through the chaos.
Ultimately, as Walsh puts it, “Your partnership exists in its own unique context. Lead with empathy, honesty, and respect, and you’ll find a way to navigate even the most challenging family dynamics.”
This holiday season, embrace the opportunity to grow together as a couple while navigating the complexities of family dynamics. With thoughtful communication, creativity, and a united front, you can honor your relationship and still enjoy the festive chaos of the holidays.
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