

I don’t care what article on hair care you read — if it’s worth anything at all when it comes to the topic of how to prevent breakage and other forms of hair damage, it’s going to mention that your tresses need hydration. There is no way that it can endure the manipulation of styling and the heat that comes from certain styling tools any other way.
So, why is it that, when it comes to our hair — Black hair — maintaining moisture is such a constant struggle (especially the tighter our curls are)? The science behind it is that the curlier our hair is, the harder it becomes for the sebum from our scalp to cover our strands from root to tip (which is a great reminder to keep your scalp moisturized, by the way). However, as someone with high porosity hair who has found maintaining hydration to probably be my greatest hair challenge (as far as length retention goes), I think that failing to do certain things to our hair regularly plays as much of a vital role.
Today, let’s look into 10 things that you can do — things that I’ve personally done and continue to do — that can keep your hair full of moisture which will ultimately keep it strong and hella healthy.
1. Master Your Hair’s Porosity
I’m telling you from firsthand experience that, until/unless you learn what your hair’s porosity is (which is its ability to maintain water), you will never truly master how to keep it moisturized. My hair? It’s high porosity because my cuticles are open; this means that, although my locks take in hydration easily, I lose it almost just as fast.
"Low porosity" means that cuticles are so tightly bound that it’s hard to get hydration in; however, once moisture penetrates, it remains longer than it does in high-porosity hair. "Normal porosity" speaks to there being a pretty good balance.
Keeping all of this in mind, if you keep trying to get moisture into your hair without knowing its porosity, I can promise you that you are going to unnecessarily stress yourself (and probably your hair) out. So, if you’re not sure what yours is (for the record, porosity can also change due to things like chemical treatments and even age), this video here offers up DIY tests that are pretty effective and can help you understand your hair needs better.
2. Upgrade Your Deep Conditioning Practices
I’ve shared in other articles that it took years for me to start really deep conditioning my hair. I don’t mean just slapping on some conditioner, letting it sit for 5-10 minutes, and then going on about my day. I mean finding the kind of deep conditioner that would complement my hair type (including its porosity) and then allowing it to penetrate my hair shaft for no less than 30-45 minutes. Over the past couple of years, though, I’ve upped the ante even more.
Now I create my own cocktail of conditioners (hair bonding products and a hair oil like avocado or rosemary oil included), apply a generous amount of the blend to my damp hair, and then sit with a hair steaming bonnet on my head for at least an hour. I’m telling you, if you’ve never steamed your hair before, it is a real game-changer!
Not only does it help your hair conditioner to deeply penetrate your strands, it also helps to unclog the hair follicles on your scalp, increase hair elasticity, works to enhance your natural curl pattern, and prepares your hair to take in whatever products you plan to add to your hair after rinsing your deep conditioner out (like a leave-in conditioner; more on that later). So, whether you get a fancy steamer, a steam bonnet or you decide to stand in a hot shower for a while, always make steaming a part of your conditioning process — if you want more moisture, that is.
3. Use Water-Based Products
Reading labels on the back of hair products is so important if you want your locks to thrive. That said, when it comes to retaining hair moisture, it’s essential that you go for products that are water-based; this starts with ones that have water listed as the first ingredient on the label. When hair products have a lot of water in them, that helps to reduce dryness which can lead to breakage. For starters, you can find a list of some of the best water-based leave-in conditioners here.
4. Avoid Alcohol-Based Ones (Well, Some of Them)
Here’s the thing about hair products that have alcohol in them: some are bad, and others are actually pretty beneficial. As far as Cetearyl alcohol, lauryl alcohol, and benzyl alcohols (which are more of a hair product preservative than anything), these are helpful because they can actually help to soften and hydrate your hair. What I’m talking about here is ethanol, SD alcohol 40, propanol, isopropyl, and propyl types of alcohol; these are problematic because not only do they have the (strong) potential to dry out your hair on their own, but they also tend to strip your strands of the natural sebum that your scalp produces.
The bottom line here is to read the labels to see which type of alcohol is in the product that you’re considering. Also, even when it comes to the “good” ones, pay attention to how your hair feels 2-3 days after applying them. If it’s brittle or sticky, stop using it; it’s not helping.
5. Drink More Water
No matter how much water you put on your hair, you’re still going to need to be well-hydrated within. In fact, did you know that between 25-30 percent of your hair’s weight is made up of water? This means that, although it’s still being researched if dehydration is connected to hair loss, what you can know for sure is water helps to increase blood circulation to your scalp, helps your hair follicles to absorb nutrients, keeps your scalp hydrated, and water also helps to prevent brittleness which reduces breakage.
So yes, make sure that you get plenty of water into your system daily. Oh, and if you happen to be a tea lover, check out “10 Teas That Are Great For The Fall Season — As Far As Hair Growth Is Concerned” for ones that can hydrate your strands while benefitting them in other ways too.
6. Eat Fatty Acids and Antioxidants More Often
Speaking of “moisturized insides,” I can also vouch for the fact that adding certain foods to your diet can help keep your hair hydrated. For instance, did you know that fatty acids make up a whopping 85 percent of your hair’s lipid content? This is relevant because lipids help to maintain your hair’s strength and manageability not to mention its thickness, growth, and moisture. All of this is essential because you need things that are going to help you handle the manipulation that comes with styling your hair.
Antioxidants are good as well because they will help to keep your scalp healthy, reduce hair shedding, fight off free radicals, help to prevent UV damage (including how the sun can dry out your hair), slow down premature graying, increase circulation to your scalp and yes, maintain moisture. Foods that are full of fatty acids include salmon, kidney beans, cashews, peanuts, sunflower seeds, chia seeds, and egg yolks. Foods that are loaded with antioxidants include berries, artichokes, red cabbage, spinach, okra, collards and plums.
7. Try an ANTI-Humectant
You’re probably familiar with what a humectant is; it’s something that pulls moisture from the hair. As far as ones that are good for your hair,honey is a humectant that immediately comes to mind. Okay, so what is an anti-humectant? It's a product that will prevent moisture from leaving your hair once the moisture is already present. Therefore, if you’re someone who loses hair hydration a lot, an anti-humectant can be a real lifesaver for you (especially on the days when it’s hella humid and you want to reduce the appearance of frizz).
For the record, since anti-humectants include things like silicones and beeswax, if you’ve ever used either one of those, you probably already know that it’s best to take the “less is more” approach. Still, if you need some assistance keeping moisture around, an anti-humectant can make that happen for you. Check out a list of these types of hair productshere andhere.
8. Try Some Monoi Oil
If you’re not familiar with monoi oil, it’s an oil that comes from soaking the petals of Tahitian gardenias into coconut oil. I’m such a fan of it that I actually shouted the oil out in another hair care article a few years back (“What Your Natural Hair Needs This Spring Season”). Although it does things like help to strengthen your hair and reduce frizz, one of my favorite perks is monoi oil also helps to reduce split ends — and since split ends are the result of hair that is dry and brittle, well, you can see why you should consider giving it a shot; especially if length retention is your (ultimate) goal.
9. Make Leave-In Conditioner a Part of Your Nightly Hair Routine
Speaking of taking care of your ends, since that is the oldest part of your hair, you need to “baby” them more than any other part of your locks; otherwise, they are prone to breakage, and length will never be something that you will see much of. One way to do that is to give your ends more hydration by applying a leave-in conditioner to your ends no less than 2-3 times a week, whether you’re someone who rolls up your hair, braids, or twists it. My favorite for a while now has been Mielle’s Pomegranate & Honey Leave-In Conditioner. Some other options that you might want to check out are located here, here, and here.
10. Wrap Your Hair Up at Night
Y’all, please don’t underestimate the importance of wrapping your hair up at night — not just to avoid the friction that tossing and turning can cause (which can ultimately lead to breakage) but because it really is true that your hair can dry out if you are lying down for hours on end without some satin or silk on your head to protect it from your bedding. Listen, I have had seasons when I didn’t wrap my hair up and seasons when I did — when it comes to retaining moisture, the difference is like night and day whenever I do take out five extra minutes to do the step, I just talked about and then to cover it up with something that won’t absorb all of my efforts.
BONUS: Regularly Use a Finishing Spray
If you want your hair to have more sheen to it, you probably already know that oil sheen can make that happen for you. Okay, but what if you want to lightly condition your hair throughout the day? Then what? Something that I am a huge fan of is finishing and conditioning sprays. They tend to be light, they help to keep the cuticles of my strands smooth and my hair soft, and they are able to add movement (like when it comes to blowouts), too. Plus, they help my hair to feel moisturized. That’s why, I absolutely could not close this article out without shouting out the brand that I use: BB Smooth Sheen Conditioning Spray with Shea Butter.
To be honest with you, I have no idea how I even stumbled upon it in the first place, yet when I tell you that it is now a staple that I can’t see going without? It’s like it coats my hair and soothes my scalp without any (real) residue so that my hair remains moisturized until I come up and do my nighttime hair routine. Definitely a must-have if you’re trying to figure out how to keep your hair from drying out in between wash days. Hey, don’t say I never told you. It’s a winner. Promise you that!
So…what are you waiting on? Your parched hair is looking for relief, and now you know just what to do. Enjoy, sis. ENJOY.
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Devale Ellis On Being A Provider, Marriage Growth & Redefining Fatherhood
In this candid episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Devale Ellis, actor, social media personality, and star of Zatima, about modern masculinity, learning to be a better husband, emotional presence in marriage, fatherhood for Black men, and leading by example.
“I Wasn’t Present Emotionally”: Devale Ellis on Marriage Growth
Devale Ellis On Learning He Was a ‘Bad Husband’
Ellis grew up believing that a man should prioritize providing for his family. “I know this may come off as misogynistic, but I feel like it’s my responsibility as a man to pay for everything,” he said, emphasizing the wise guidance passed down by his father. However, five years into his marriage to long-time partner Khadeen Ellis, he realized provision wasn’t just financial.
“I was a bad husband because I wasn’t present emotionally… I wasn’t concerned about what she needed outside of the resources.”
Once he shifted his mindset, his marriage improved. “In me trying to be of service to her, I learned that me being of service created a woman who is now willing to be of service to me.”
On Redefining Masculinity and Fatherhood
For Ellis, “being a man is about being consistent.” As a father of four, he sees parenthood as a chance to reshape the future.
“Children give you another chance at life. I have four different opportunities right now to do my life all over again.”
He also works to uplift young Black men, reinforcing their worth in a world that often undermines them. His values extend to his career—Ellis refuses to play roles that involve domestic violence or sexual assault.
Watch the full episode below:
On Marriage, Family Planning, and Writing His Story
After his wife’s postpartum preeclampsia, Ellis chose a vasectomy over her taking hormonal birth control, further proving his commitment to their partnership. He and Khadeen share their journey in We Over Me, and his next book, Raising Kings: How Fatherhood Saved Me From Myself, is on the way.
Through honesty and growth, Devale Ellis challenges traditional ideas of masculinity, making his story one that resonates deeply with millennial women.
For the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker peels back the layers of masculinity with candid conversations that challenge stereotypes and celebrate vulnerability. Real men. Real stories. Real talk.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
Featured image by YouTube/xoNecole
We Thought All-Inclusives Were Boring Until We Found These Twin Jamaican Gems
I’m not your typical all-inclusive resort girlie—especially for a couple’s trip. My man and I usually hop from one Airbnb or boutique hotel to the next, cooking our own meals, and chasing off-the-beaten-path adventures. But after eight years of host ghosting, catfish listings, and DIY travel stress, we decided it was time to switch gears. Our latest Jamaica baecation was the perfect excuse to give an all-inclusive resort a fair shot.
We landed on Couples Negril and Couples Swept Away—two Jamaican family-owned sister properties nestled in western Jamaica. With Caribbean roots dating back to 1949, this wasn’t just any chain resort—it had legacy and soul. And honestly? It was the reset we didn’t know we needed.
What made it even more special? We were back in the place where we first fell in love, now creating new memories in the same sun-drenched paradise. From booze cruises, pickleball matches, and wellness shots, to alluring late-night jacuzzi rendezvous, soul karaoke, and far too much champagne mixed with tequila, to really good jerk chicken and repeat-visit-worthy Asian cuisine, bae and I had a time.
Couples Negril And Couples Swept Away: Twins On The West Coast Of Jamaica
And it’s fitting that we visited in June (which is considered low season—a time when there are less travelers and better deals) because these sister resorts are like Gemini twins that embody two distinct sides of the same spirit.
Set between Negril and Hanover, Couples Negril is the social butterfly, full of energy and artistic flair; Couples Swept Away is the introspective dreamer, grounded in nature, wellness, and tranquility.
While they’re quite opposite in vibe, they’re united by a shared history and reflect the classic Gemini duality: light and shadow, play and peace, expression and reflection.
Bae’s Favorite: Chic, Modern, And Cozy At Couples Negril
Couples Negril Suite
Courtesy, Couples Negril
Bae’s favorite was Couples Negril—which has more than 230 rooms and spans 18 acres—for its mix of entertainment, modern minimalist vibes, and a diverse crowd of couples. He especially loved Otaheite Restaurant with its low-lit red velvet love seats and dishes meshing luxury with traditional island flavors (like the merlot stewed rabbit served with coconut polenta and the filet mignon with the jerk glaze.) And he lives for hearing me sing, so the piano bar was our jam.
We also spent lots of time at the beach bar, one of five on the property, snacking on fish tacos and sipping margaritas just steps from our suite.
We saved the rum for the included catamaran cruise (book ahead!), which came with endless punch and views of Negril’s West End—a fave spot of ours. Couples Negril made the all-inclusive life feel surprisingly easy and fun.
The property also features a treehouse spa, two pools, four jacuzzis, an au naturale beach (whew, chile!), and sports facilities. Everything was easy to access—the layout felt cozy and well-organized, making it simple to move between activities and amenities. At this resort, you can really have some grown-and-sexy fun without it feeling like a raunchy spring break episode of Couples Gone Wild.
My Favorite: Private, Classic Charm, & Nature Mystique At Couples Swept Away
Couple's Swept Away Suite
Courtesy, Couples Swept Away
While I loved Couples, once we stepped over to Couples Swept Away, the lush nature set on 19 acres won me over. This twin, which has 312 suites, 7 restaurants, 8 bars, 3 pools, 5 jacuzzis, and a spa, leans into intimacy and seclusion, and I felt like we had more privacy and room to explore–just the two of us—at this property. The rooms are rustic-luxurious, dressed in island cedar, with classic shutters and expansive verandahs that have hammocks where you can enjoy bright flora, the sounds of exotic birds, and the sea views.
The absence of TVs—along with its tropical fantasy allure— meant a 10 out of 10 experience for me. This resort invites couples to breathe deeper, slow down, and truly get to the core of intimacy, all within the hum of nature.
There were hidden enclaves with dipping pools, jacuzzis, open-air cafés, and quiet corners where you can sit by ponds filled with fish and bird watch (or have a little sneaky link with bae!)
One of my favorite stand-out amenities at this resort: the 10-acre fitness complex just a short walk across the road from the main property where I’d have my early-morning me-time while bae slept in. It has 10 tennis courts, squash and racquetball courts, a fully equipped gym, and a wide range of wellness and fitness classes are held there. I also enjoyed turmeric and ginger shots at the wellness bar.
Other standouts for food and nightlife included Lemon Grass (where you can enjoy Asian-inspired food and listen to the live music coming from downstairs), the chic Patois Bar (which was the late-night hotspot overlooking one of the pools and serving your usual bar fare like burgers and quesadillas—felt like we were at a Miami nightclub), and the Aura Bar (where bae sang with a quintet of other slightly drunken men and where we did the cliche but super-lit millennial couple thing: danced the night away to Top 40 hip-hop, salsa, and rock classics).
The Patois Bar
Courtesy, Couples Swept Away
Baecation Tip: Just be sure your partner packs a few linen or dress pants, loafers or soft dress shoes, and a few button-down shirts for the restaurants that require reservations. Also book your table and all-inclusive excursions in advance (or on the first day you arrive at the resort).
All in all, this resort-hop wasn’t the stifling, prison-in-paradise all-inclusive experience I remembered from the Jamaica family vacations of my youth. It also wasn’t the stereotypical AI disaster of bland food, lackluster customer service, and senior citizen activities that many complain about on social nowadays.
Both resorts offered a fresh take on luxury, great food, and good vibes—all without losing the intimacy we craved. All-inclusives might not be our every trip vibe, but for this chapter? It was exactly what we needed, and we look forward to making repeat bookings at both Couples Negril and Couples Swept Away in the future.
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