I remember when I first got engaged thirteen years ago. There were exes and guys coming out of the woodwork, professing their so-called love or appreciation for me, and trying to "apologize" for how they treated me in the past. However, I wasn't the least bit concerned because I was focused on my future with my actual fiance, now husband, and I knew we were meant to be together. Nevertheless, it was a testament to the reality that sometimes and unfortunately: people only see the potential for what could've been when they see you doing well by yourself or with someone else.
Will Packer's new hit show, Put A Ring On It, on the OWN Network (airing Fridays at 10pm EST) seems to share similar sentiments - for both the women and the men. The basic premise of the show is to help couples determine if they're with the love of their life and if marriage is the next step with the help of Dr. Nicole LaBeach...and by going on dates with other people. Each couple engages in work to help them unpack their baggage and issues. As you can imagine, it really interesting witnessing their reactions, or lack thereof, when their partners start dating other people.
While these couples are still debating about taking the next step towards marriage, we wanted to talk to some real-life married men, and even a few who are engaged, and find out specifically what convinced them it was time to pop the question.*
Toby & Rynetta: Married for 17 years, Dated for two and half years
Courtesy of Toby and Rynetta
How He Proposed: Toby surprised Rynetta on her birthday by acting like he was bringing her breakfast that morning.
Why He Proposed: "After dating for two and a half years, I realized that Rynetta was different. She pushed me in ways that others didn't and I was all the better for it. I knew that it was time to take the next step. Rynetta had all the qualities that I was looking for in a wife. I knew at that point she was the woman that I was committed to spending the rest of my life with."
Patrick & Angela: Married 9 years, Dated for about two and half years
Courtesy of Patrick and Angela
How He Proposed: Patrick called on Angela's sister and some of his friends who helped him arrange what she thought was a "girls' dinner". Nevertheless, it turned out to be a surprise proposal when he walked into the restaurant with Jamie Foxx's "When I First Saw You" playing over the restaurant's sound system.
Why He Proposed: "A year before I met Angela, I was immature! I ended up going through a tough situation and at the conclusion of that situation, I asked God to make me spiritually and emotionally ready for the next woman. Over the course of a year, I had a true transformation and became a better man. One weekend, I came home to my parent's house for a party. My sister was home as well with a friend from college. I walked upstairs to see my sister and noticed her friend, but only from behind. Once I saw the back of her head, God told me that's your wife. Once I moved my sister out of the way (because she was blocking the door), I went over and introduced myself. Then, I went back downstairs and told my best friend, 'I just met my wife.'
"I was ready to propose from the moment I saw her, but I needed to prepare myself financially to provide the proposal, ring, and future home she deserved. When everything was set in place, I started taking her to jewelers to look at rings, unbeknownst to her that I had already customized a ring for her (with the help of my sister)."
Jacob & Saneda: Married 6 years, Dated for 4 years
Courtesy of Jacob and Saneda
How He Proposed: While on their first trip to Canada, Jacob proposed to Saneda as they enjoyed an intimate dinner at the CN Tower's 360-degree restaurant. As she was reaching into her purse, he reached for the iced-out jewelry box from his pocket.
Why He Proposed: "I never really had one particular moment of clarity when it came to popping the question. Rather it was a culmination of things and it was like all the stars aligned. Not often does one find someone who matches their wit and intelligence, shares similar morals, and enhances your overall life experience. Yet all those things were true. Together, we were living our best life. She would sometimes mention random engagement announcements and things of the sort, so I knew that she was ready, or at least she was making sure I knew that it was something she looked forward to.
"As referenced in a freestyle on some of my earlier work, we moved in 'after only two months, fell in love after only two pumps (she had very nice shoes)'. Since we were already committed to each other and sharing our home, it seemed like the next natural step. No need in putting off the inevitable. I embraced it, and it was one of the best decisions."
"I never really had one particular moment of clarity when it came to popping the question. Rather it was a culmination of things and it was like all the stars aligned. Not often does one find someone who matches their wit and intelligence, shares similar morals, and enhances your overall life experience. Yet all those things were true. Together, we were living our best life."
Harmakhu (“Khu”) & Jackie: Married 7 and a half years
Courtesy of Khu and Jackie
How He Proposed: Khu convinced Jackie to join her in their living room to watch a movie, but she was surprised to walk in and see that some of her family was there waiting to greet her. Khu got down on one knee and proposed to her in front of their family and friends.
Why He Proposed: "Timing is everything and even though we met in high school and had crushes on each other, we didn't date until after reuniting at our 10-year high school reunion. Since we had a good history and understanding of one another, Jackie and I moved in together after only a few months of dating. Upon moving in together, Jackie made it crystal-clear that she was not trying to shack up and would expect marriage plans within a couple of years. I loved the boundary-setting as it was a goal that I could mutually see for myself with her.
"I proposed within a year after moving in together. I knew it was time because her love brought me to a place of peace that I had never known within my life. During the first six months of dating, I received two promotions, so home and work life definitely took on a new meaning with our partnership. Having already experienced combined finances, planning, and working through the kinds of quirks or kinks that present itself when you cohabitate the same space was everything. It felt natural and it flowed, and marriage was the cherry on top to what we were building together."
Okino & Brianna: Married for 3 years
Courtesy of Okino and Brianna
How He Proposed: Okino lit some candles in their apartment in Florida, got down on one knee, and popped the question to Brianna.
Why He Proposed: "My wife, Brianna, is my soulmate, best friend, and I knew I wanted to be with her forever. We used to sit and talk for hours. We are different in many ways and similar in other ways, but the way she helps me be vulnerable and handles it with care speaks volumes. She is loving, caring, and kind. I knew I had to make it official because I could not let this love bug pass me by. It's one of life's greatest gifts to share and experience love, and when you do, you hold on to it. So, that's what I did."
Anthony & Radiance: Married almost 3 years, Dated two months before they got engaged
Courtesy of Anthony and Radiance
How He Proposed: Anthony surprised Radiance during Thanksgiving in her hometown of Cleveland, OH at her aunt's house with Anthony Hamilton's "Amen" playing in the background. He arranged it so that when it came time to bless the food, Radiance's mom asked him to do it so that he could use the opportunity to propose to her.
Why He Proposed: "We used to volunteer together, and then one Sunday, Radiance walked in and God told me she was my wife. After praying for His guidance, He revealed who had been in front of me for three years. I was ready to be the man and husband God wanted me to be. God confirmed it in different ways, so I was ready to pop the question."
"One Sunday, Radiance walked in and God told me she was my wife. After praying for His guidance, He revealed who had been in front of me for three years. I was ready to be the man and husband God wanted me to be."
Frederick & Jasmine: Married 3 years, Dated for 4 years
Courtesy of Frederick and Jasmine
Photographer Credit: Keighla Fox
How He Proposed: Since Frederick and Jasmine have big personalities, it was only fitting that the proposal was just as grand. Frederick proposed to Jasmine after jumping 14,000-feet out of the air skydiving.
Why He Proposed: "Jasmine is my best friend. I wanted to be committed and spend the rest of my life with her. I loved her spirit, her personality, her tenacity, and her work ethic. I knew that not only would she make an amazing wife, but a good mother, daughter-in-law and life partner. She has all of the qualities of an angel. I'm blessed every day to do life with her."
Thaddeus & Lauren: Married for two years, Dated for 7 years
Courtesy of Thaddeus and Lauren
How He Proposed: Initially, Thaddeus planned to propose to Lauren before they boarded a plane headed on vacation. However, since the ring was "burning a hole" in his pocket and he couldn't wait, he was on one knee asking her to marry him as soon as they arrived at the airport.
Why He Proposed: "I knew I was ready to pop the question when I realized I was the happiest when she was around, and when she wasn't around, I wanted her around. To understand how that meant a lot to me, you'd have to understand me. I really appreciate my alone time. So, the fact that I desired to have someone in my space and didn't want them to leave is when I knew I was ready. I didn't have a desire for anything else that didn't include her as a part of if.
"When I would think about future plans, I always considered her and how this would affect us, not just me. When I realized, I was making decisions based on what was best for us, I knew it was time for me to make us a forever thing. Lauren is literally my best friend. I truly feel like we are one because of how we have always poured into each other. "
"When I would think about future plans, I always considered her and how this would affect us, not just me. When I realized, I was making decisions based on what was best for us, I knew it was time for me to make us a forever thing. Lauren is literally my best friend. I truly feel like we are one because of how we have always poured into each other. "
Lance & Alison: Married for 10 months, Dated for a little over a year
Courtesy of Lance and Alison
How He Proposed: While visiting Alison's hometown in Cleveland, Ohio and after dinner with family and friends, Lance proposed to Alison before walking back into their Airbnb.
Why He Proposed: "We faced a couple of issues while dating and we were able to resolve them with communication and honesty. We both accepted each other's flaws, goofy selves, and worked on making each other better. Spending time together was not stressful, in fact, it was easy. I know marriage and love is work, but we do the work together to improve our love. We made plans together to travel, and even going to common places like the grocery store is fun and exciting. We have seen each other at our worst and love each other anyway. I felt and still feel a strong connection whenever she is in the room, and I couldn't live life without her in it."
Glenn & Kiamesha: Married 4 months, Dated for 4 years
Courtesy of Glenn and Kiamesha
Photo Credit: Peridot Imagery
How He Proposed: While visiting Marrakesh, Morocco, Glenn proposed to Kiamesha inside a courtyard while playing "Blessed" by Daniel Caesar. In college, they studied how Moroccans used the courtyard typology to fend off French colonists, so it was only fitting to propose there.
Why He Proposed: "The proposal is always performative and romantic, but imagine deciding a lifetime commitment without communication. Marriage was always discussed and planned so it was never an individual decision. Legacy was the driver for my decision...reclaiming history through marriage and re-imagining our future through children."
Colby Boone & Kheiston: Married 3 months, Dated for 8 months
Courtesy of Colby and Kheiston
Photo Credit: James Willis Photography @james_willis_photography
How He Proposed: Inspired by Pinterest, Colby created an intimate and romantic atmosphere with rose petals, balloons, music, and a scripture written on a whiteboard, and asked for Kheiston's hand in marriage right there in their apartment.
Why He Proposed: "I had the ring for almost a month, and with the pandemic and social injustice, the idea of waiting to be with someone knowing that tomorrow isn't promised didn't seem right. I believe one of the greatest decisions I made was not waiting. Instead, I took a leap and we're pressing toward the goals that we have for ourselves and for what we believe we were put together in this world to do. It was a huge step for me that took effort and creativity especially since all my friends are single. But I'm so glad to start this journey with my best friend, now wife."
Kenneth & Kamirah: Married for two months, Dated for 10 years
Courtesy of Kenneth and Kamirah
How He Proposed: Kenneth proposed to Kamirah at her first annual women's empowerment event in Atlantic City in front of her family and friends.
Why He Proposed: "I honestly always knew that I wanted to get married and start my own family because I was raised by my parents who have been married all my life. I knew even before I saw Kamirah in person that I wanted her in my life. I got to see Kamirah initially through Myspace. It wasn't until my senior year in high school that I got to see Kamirah in person.
After years of dating, I knew that I didn't want to waste any more time. So, I decided to make us official. She has always loved me, respected me and made me feel better than any woman I had previously been with. She has a great sense of humor, she's gorgeous, smart, and VERY ambitious. She doesn't let anything hold her back. I knew I was ready to pop the question because she made me feel secure and complete. She has always loved me unconditionally and pushed me to be the best me I can be! I knew I couldn't and didn't want to live without her so it was my choice to make her Mrs. Brown."
Mike & Courtney: Engaged - Proposed in 2020, Dated for almost a year
Courtesy of Mike and Courtney
How He Proposed: Mike surprised his fiancee by telling her they were shooting a birthday video for his sister. After decorating a loft, hiring a live guitarist, and arranging it so that family and friends could witness it all through livestream, she arrived totally shocked to see him down on one knee proposing to her.
Courtesy of Mike and Courtney
Why He Proposed: "As cliche as it sounds, I knew Courtney was the one from the moment we started talking. My sister lost her first child to preterm labor a year or so prior and I had been praying for another niece or nephew. At the same time, I asked God to send me my wife. We exchanged numbers on Instagram and even though I hated talking on the phone, we spent 10 hours on FaceTime the first time we spoke. Those 10 hours felt like five minutes and by the end we knew everything about each other and how much we had in common.
"The icing on the cake is that I learned my fiancee was a midwife. God answered both my prayers because my sister got pregnant with my now seven-month-old nephew who was cared for during labor by my now-fiancee. This year has brought a lot of loss and many people are missing their loved ones from the dinner table. So, for me, it was a wake-up call that tomorrow isn't promised and I need to let this woman know I want her to be my wife. Hence, I popped the question."
"This year has brought a lot of loss and many people are missing their loved ones from the dinner table. So, for me, it was a wake-up call that tomorrow isn't promised and I need to let this woman know I want her to be my wife. Hence, I popped the question."
Jordan & Jazmyne: Engaged - Proposed in 2020, Dated for almost 3 years
Courtesy of Jordan and Jazmyne
How He Proposed: Jordan arranged for a surprise proposal at their church as well as an engagement photo shoot immediately following the proposal.
Why He Proposed: "I knew Jazmyne was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. We have talked every single day since the very first day we met. I honestly couldn't imagine going a day without talking to her. It's like we are perfect for each other. We complement each other so well and I truly see her as my companion. She helps me to be a better man. She has done so much for me and no one has ever treated me the way she treats me. That's how I knew I was ready. I have so much to be thankful for from her, so putting a ring on it was really the least I could do. I love that girl so much. Not a day goes by where she isn't the first person I think of when I wake up and the last when I fall asleep. I tell her all the time that she deserves everything and I mean that. I'm so blessed to have her in my life and I can't wait to marry her."
*Some phrases may have been slightly modified or paraphrased for the sake of clarity.
Featured image courtesy of Jordan & Jazmyne
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So, we handpicked one hundred It Girls who embody that palpable It Factor moving through us as young Black women, the kind of motion lighting up the world both IRL and across the internet.
It Girl 100 became xoNecole’s most successful program, with the hashtag organically reaching more than forty million impressions on Instagram in just twenty-four hours. Yes, it caught on like wildfire because we celebrated some of the most brilliant and influential GenZennial women of color setting trends and shaping culture. But more than that, it resonated because the women we celebrated felt seen.
Many were already known in their industries for keeping this generation fly and lit, but rarely received recognition or flowers. It Girl 100 became a safe space to be uplifted, and for us as Black women to bask in what felt like an era of our brilliance, beauty, and boundless influence on full display.
And then, almost overnight, it was as if the rug was pulled from under us as Black women, as the It Girls of the world.
Our much-needed, much-deserved season of ease and soft living quickly metamorphosed into a time of self-preservation and survival. Our motion and economic progression seemed strategically slowed, our light under siege.
The air feels heavier now. The headlines colder. Our Black girl magic is being picked apart and politicized for simply existing.
With that climate shift, as we prepare to launch our second annual It Girl 100 honoree list, our team has had to dig deep on the purpose and intention behind this year’s list. Knowing the spirit of It Girl 100 is about motion, sauce, strides, and progression, how do we celebrate amid uncertainty and collective grief when the juice feels like it is being squeezed out of us?
As we wrestled with that question, we were reminded that this tension isn’t new. Black women have always had to find joy in the midst of struggle, to create light even in the darkest corners. We have carried the weight of scrutiny for generations, expected to be strong, to serve, to smile through the sting. But this moment feels different. It feels deeply personal.
We are living at the intersection of liberation and backlash. We are learning to take off our capes, to say no when we are tired, to embrace softness without apology.
And somehow, the world has found new ways to punish us for it.
In lifestyle, women like Kayla Nicole and Ayesha Curry have been ridiculed for daring to choose themselves. Tracee Ellis Ross was labeled bitter for speaking her truth about love. Meghan Markle, still, cannot breathe without critique.
In politics, Kamala Harris, Letitia James, and Jasmine Crockett are dragged through the mud for standing tall in rooms not built for them.
In sports, Angel Reese, Coco Gauff, and Taylor Townsend have been reminded that even excellence will not shield you from racism or judgment.
In business, visionaries like Diarrha N’Diaye-Mbaye and Melissa Butler are fighting to keep their dreams alive in an economy that too often forgets us first.
Even our icons, Beyoncé, Serena, and SZA, have faced criticism simply for evolving beyond the boxes society tried to keep them in.
From everyday women to cultural phenoms, the pattern is the same. Our light is being tested.
And yet, somehow, through it all, we are still showing up as that girl, and that deserves to be celebrated.
Because while the world debates our worth, we keep raising our value. And that proof is all around us.
This year alone, Naomi Osaka returned from motherhood and mental health challenges to reach the semifinals of the US Open. A’ja Wilson claimed another MVP, reminding us that beauty and dominance can coexist. Brandy and Monica are snatching our edges on tour. Kahlana Barfield Brown sold out her new line in the face of a retailer that had been canceled. And Melissa Butler’s company, The Lip Bar, is projecting a forty percent surge in sales.
We are no longer defining strength by how much pain we can endure. We are defining it by the unbreakable light we continue to radiate.
We are the women walking our daily steps and also continuing to run solid businesses. We are growing in love, taking solo trips, laughing until it hurts, raising babies and ideas, drinking our green juice, and praying our peace back into existence.
We are rediscovering the joy of rest and realizing that softness is not weakness, it is strategy.
And through it all, we continue to lift one another. Emma Grede is creating seats at the table. Valeisha Butterfield has started a fund for jobless Black women. Arian Simone is leading in media with fearless conviction. We are pouring into each other in ways the world rarely sees but always feels.
So yes, we are in the midst of societal warfare. Yes, we are being tested. Yes, we are facing economic strain, political targeting, and public scrutiny. But even war cannot dim a light that is divinely ours.
And we are still shining.
And we are still softening.
And we are still creating.
And we are still It.
That is the quiet magic of Black womanhood, our ability to hold both truth and triumph in the same breath, to say yes, and to life’s contradictions.
It is no coincidence that this year, as SheaMoisture embraces the message “Yes, And,” they stand beside us as partners in celebrating this class of It Girls. Because that phrase, those two simple words, capture the very essence of this moment.
Yes, we are tired. And we are still rising.
Yes, we are questioned. And we are the answer.
Yes, we are bruised. And we are still beautiful.
This year’s It Girl 100 is more than a list. It is a love letter to every Black woman who dares to live out loud in a world that would rather she whisper. This year’s class is living proof of “Yes, And,” women who are finding ways to thrive and to heal, to build and to rest, to lead and to love, all at once.
It is proof that our joy is not naive, our success not accidental. It is the reminder that our light has never needed permission.
So without further ado, we celebrate the It Girl 100 Class of 2025–2026.
We celebrate the millions of us who keep doing it with grace, grit, and glory.
Because despite it all, we still shine.
Because we are still her.
Because we are still IT, girl.
Meet all 100 women shaping culture in the It Girl 100 Class of 2025. View the complete list of honorees here.
Featured image by xoStaff
Apparently, there was a Thanksgiving episode that featured all of the friends having dinner together. And y’all, there was simply no way that I was going to mention the latter without shouting out the original (amen?).
Okay, so with that out of the way — Friendsgiving. Something that I appreciate about twists to holidays like this is that it’s a reminder that there is no one way to celebrate special occasions. And so, if, for whatever the reason, you will not or cannot be with family during the holiday season, there are certainly other alternatives at your disposal.
That being said, if the thought of spending time with friends this Thanksgiving is something that you’d like to do, yet you’re not sure how to host it in a way that will make Friendsgiving a fan favorite for your entire circle — I’ve got 10 suggestions that can make the planning process easy as pumpkin (or sweet potato) pie.
1. Position Chrysanthemums or Orchids for Your Table Décor
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Let’s start with décor first. Listen, aside from cleaning up your place, you don’t have to be over the top. If you put together a really nice centerpiece or put a flower at each table setting, honestly, you’re all good. And if you’re someone who is big on details and symbolism, my recommendation would be to go with some chrysanthemums and/or orchids.
When it comes to chrysanthemums, not only are they a peak fall flower, they represent things like friendship and happiness. And orchids? They tend to bloom during the fall and spring seasons and, not only are they about luxury, certain orchid colors also symbolize friendship (for the record, yellow roses symbolize friendship too). Perfect.
2. Incorporate Scents That Cultivate Gratitude
Speaking of cultivating a warm and inviting space, you can never go wrong with scented soy candles — or at least having an essential oil diffuser in a few spots. Some scents that actually help to bring in the spirit of gratitude include vanilla, jasmine, ginger, cedarwood and frankincense.
3. Use Upscale Paper Products to Dine With
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Let’s be real — a lot more of us would probably host events in our home if it wasn’t for the mess that is left behind in our kitchen once the festivities are over. Wanna avoid that? Use paper plates. No, I don’t mean the cheap Styrofoam ones. SMDH. These days, there are paper (and plastic) plate brands that will low-key blow your mind when it comes to how bougie they look. Some that are worth considering are located here, here and here.
4. Handwrite Thank-You Notes (Use Them As Place Settings)
If you’re like Tiffany (from the HBO series Insecure — what a time) was at that memorable dinner party when all hell broke loose between Lawrence and Issa and you’re pretty anal — I mean, particular — LOL — about place settings, it’s a nice touch to pick up some blank thank-you cards that you can write a personalized “I’m thankful for you because…” message in. Place each one where you’d like each friend to sit. They won’t see it coming and it’s a really nice touch.
5. Have Everyone Bring Their Favorite Homemade Dish
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Okay, and what if what has you on the fence about hosting is you don’t feel like doing a ton of cooking? Chile, this is where the concept of having a potluck comes in. Get everyone to bring the dish that they claim they cook the best and make sure to let them know how many individuals you plan on coming (so that they will make enough). You can even make a game out of it by having everyone anonymously vote for the first, second and third best dishes out of the bunch. Take it up a notch by having a prize for each winner.
6. Take a Warm Drink and Dessert Poll Beforehand
You know what isn’t discussed enough about dinner parties? Folks bringing desserts that other people don’t even like. SMDH. You can avoid this from becoming an issue at your Friendsgiving by sending an email (most people prefer that to group chats; let’s be real — and make sure to BCC everyone as well) asking everyone to share what their top three favorite desserts and warm drinks are. Then pick the top 2-3 out of the bunch. That way, you won’t have a ton of (for instance) coffee cake or apple cider lying around that no one even wanted in the first place.
7. Create a Signature Friendsgiving Mocktail and Cocktail
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Speaking of drinks, another way to make your Friendsgiving memorable is to come up with a signature mocktail (for those who don’t consume alcohol) and cocktail. For the mocktail, you can also poll your friends about their favorite mocktail or fruits and come up with a mixture of your own. For the cocktail — although National Friendship Day is actually in August, I did peep that there are certain drinks that have been created in its honor. Some of them are located here for you to do a bit of tweaking on (if you’d like).
8. Ask Everyone to Share Their “Favorite Friend Quality” of Another
You know how it’s customary for everyone to go around and share what they are truly thankful for before having dinner? Well, to continue along with the Friendsgiving theme, have each person share what their favorite friend quality is about the person to their right. If folks are just meeting each other for the first time, instead they can share what they value the most in friendship overall, along with a story of how it was displayed to them personally over the past 12 months.
9. Send Each of Your Guests Home with a Fresh Gratitude Journal
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Wanna send folks home with a nice parting gift? It would be so on-trend to give each of them a gratitude journal. Listen, we are in some crazy times right through here (at least in the States) and so, encouraging your friends to set some time aside, regularly, to think about and then outwardly express what they are grateful for? That helps to keep stress down, keep things in perspective and it reminds us all to maintain a positive mindset as much as possible.
10. Watch a Nostalgic Movie
While everyone is enjoying dessert and drinks, how about watching a movie that brings back fond memories? A list of some of the most popular movies to come out previous Thanksgiving weekends is located here and a list of some favorite Black holiday-themed films can be found here. It’s a way to wind down and share some laughs before everyone heads home.
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Friendsgiving. What a wonderful way to celebrate your friends while also observing Thanksgiving in a way that is totally on your terms. And now that you know how to put it together, what are you waiting for? Hit your friends up and let them know that, whether it’s on actual Thanksgiving Day or a few days before or after, you’ve got a special dinner in mind.
One that has a good time with amazing friends written ALL over it.
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Featured image by PeopleImages/Shutterstock