Every year the lure of a European summer draws me in with temptations of an Aperol spritz on the shores of the swankiest of beaches or sipping poolside on the rooftop of a trendy boutique hotel. This year, I decided to book a two-week vacation galavanting around Europe from London to Paris, with a few stops in Spain.
Jet setting from city to city may sound like the picture-perfect holiday in theory. However, it took more time to lock down my outfits than it did to plan my day-to-day itinerary. With such a long trip, dragging multiple suitcases around Europe was completely opposite of the romantic fantasy I envisioned for myself.
My goal? To blend in with the European aesthetic while also standing out in my own unique way. With perfectly warm temperatures along with stunning historical architecture, it was the perfect opportunity to shop for new clothes to fit my new surroundings. From neutral tones, lightweight trousers, bikinis, and chic accessories, these were items I could easily fit into a checked bag while also rotating between looks without a complete outfit repeat.
Whether packing for an upcoming trip or adding to your 2024 mood board, I’m here to ease your stress with a quick guide and outfit inspiration to living a stylish life while on your next European vacation.
What To Wear: 72 Hours in Paris
A Classic Blazer
Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
There’s an effortlessly casual nature about The City of Light with chic undertones that I instantly wanted to be a part of. On day one, I went with a pinstripe blazer paired with wide-leg distressed denim jeans and casual sneakers for a day of sightseeing. Perfect from day to night, a dark oversized blazer is a great choice for a variety of looks.
Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
The Denim Maxi Skirt
Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
I couldn't travel to Europe without a few of my favorite denim pieces. Pairing a maxi denim skirt with a matching one-shoulder denim top gave the appearance of a denim dress ultimately, which allowed me to break up each piece to wear on two other occasions throughout my trip.
Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
A Necktie
Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
Incorporating menswear can be a cool addition to a women's look. Recently black neckties have taken on a unisex appeal within the spring/summer streetwear scene, and I couldn't wait to wear one of my own. In true Parisian fashion, I kept my tones neutral for a sleek look with a pop of gold metallic.
Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
What To Wear: Views From Mallorca
Linen Trousers
Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
There’s only one requirement when traveling to a warm European destination: lightweight fabrics. A fun play on textures and patterns, I paired a men’s cream and black knit top worn as a cover-up early in the day, ultimately transitioning my look with a pair of trousers for an evening walk around the city. Linen pants are my favorite this time of year because of their versatility and feel.
Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
Crochet Knits
Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
Spain was the perfect destination to invest in summer trends saved to my Pinterest boards, such as crochet knits. As mentioned above, lightweight, breathable fabrics are great options to stay cool while lounging or touring a city. This yellow and orange ombre bikini crochet cover-up was the perfect coverage by the pool, revealing a conservative amount of skin.
Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
Cargos
Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
The cargo look has dominated fashion trends for a couple of years, and now its influence has spread to incorporate more than just oversized pants. This cargo halter neck open-front top was an exciting addition to my vacation-ready looks, I couldn’t wait to wear it. Keeping it light and neutral, I paired it with tan cargo pants along with light green sunglasses for a subtle pop of color.
Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
Ruffle Dress
Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
This maxi ruffle dress was perfect for dinner with a view. Fit for a fairytale, the romantic style was a must-have for a stunning nighttime look. Traveling through Europe with mostly neutral, there was no better time than this flowing fuschia moment.
Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
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When I asked a few women I know if they ever tried that before, I was surprised to discover that not only had they, but many didn’t treat it as some random social media fad — they actually still do it to this day. Partly, because it’s fun to them and partly because their partner(s) seem to go crazy for it.
Listen, any time something sexual works like a charm, I’m going to shout it out — (late) trend or not. And so, if you’ve never heard of the whole coconut thing, you tried it and forgot all about it, or you just want to try something new/different/else tonight — here’s a reminder, in article form, that coconut-ting is still alive and well, y’all. And the men are all about it!
But First, The Grapefruit Technique
Video Credit: Myem/YouTube (Funny part starts at 2:40)
If this woman is not familiar to you on sight, you ain’t a real one. LOL. Although I know that a lot of people think that the concept of grapefruiting came from the movie Girls Trip (you can see the clip from the film here) that absolutely is not the case. Auntie Angel (whose real name is reportedly Denise Walker) is the creator of the Grapefruit Technique and although I thought that this video came out way earlier, apparently it made its way onto the YouTube streets sometime back in 2014.
If for some reason, you’re not familiar with grapefruiting on any level, I will tell you right now that I had to download this video because it is absolutely NSFW — so you should probably watch it on your lunch break (on your phone with the volume as low as possible) or at home…because chile, the sound effects? Whew, the sound effects. LOL. However, when I sat down to pen this piece, I thought it was hilarious that this video is what immediately came to mind because it seems like, when it comes to “blow his mind sex hacks,” fruit is constantly on the menu.
When it comes to oral sex, it’s grapefruit.
When it comes to ride ‘em cowgirl, it’s a coconut.
What Is the “Coconut” Sex Trend?
@windy_moraba #duet with @mysteri0us.gir1 spell coconut with your waist 😂😂😂
Okay, so what in the world does a coconut have to do with intercourse? Well, for starters, if you and your partner are looking for an all-natural lubricant, coconut oil works well. HOWEVER, do keep in mind that the disclaimer on this is you shouldn’t use it if condoms are in the mix because they can actually cause rubbers to be less effective (silicone lube is a solid bet for condoms, by the way).
There is another way that coconuts are kinda-sorta incorporated when it comes to making sex more pleasurable — and it actually became pretty popular right after COVID lockdown (2021): spelling C-O-C-O-N-U-T with your hips while you’re on top of your partner.
It’s wild how I forgot all about this until a client of mine was telling me how much her husband liked her on top while it wasn’t her favorite thing to do because it felt awkward to her. When I said, “Have you ever heard of spelling ‘coconut’ with your hips before?” — at first, she looked at me like I was crazy and then she busted out laughing: “Girl, no” was her reply.
Hmph. Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it because, as wild as it might sound on the surface, the word isn’t the point so much as the movements that come with spelling it out are.
When you’re moving your pelvis around to make a “c,” “o” or U-turn, not only does it intensify the level of sensation that both you and your partner feel during intercourse, it can also increase the level of blood circulation to both of your genitalia which can make your orgasms more satisfying too.
At the end of the day, spelling “coconut” is simply reminding you that there are more options to riding than simply sitting there while your partner pumps for all he’s worth or you humping up and down like you’re on a pogo stick.
Spelling “coconut” is an easy hack to bring some variety into cowgirling. However…
Honestly, the “Fruit” Isn’t the Point. THIS IS.
GiphyFrom grapefruiting and spelling “coconut” to reading articles that I’ve penned for the platform like “How To Improve The Taste Of Sperm” — fruit and sex are always going to be a winning combination, one way or another. However, the main point of this article isn’t about making sure that you are a master speller so much as providing you with tips that will make the cowgirl position something that you are confident about and you find a ton of fulfillment in doing.
You can make both of these things happen by incorporating the following things:
Stretch beforehand. A charley horse during sex is the worst thing ever — and chile, don’t let it be right before you’re about to climax. SMDH. Yeah, if you want to feel more comfortable when you’re on top, make sure that you stretch beforehand and that you are well-hydrated. That will reduce the chances of experiencing a totally-out-of-nowhere muscle spasm — whether you decide to “spell” during sex or…not.
Bring pillows into the mix. Sometimes riding is a challenge because your partner feels farther away from your body than you would like. Putting a pillow underneath him can help to elevate his pelvis, so that you don’t feel like you’re stretching and straining. Speaking of pillows, a longer one can really come in handy because it can give your knees some additional support as well.
Also, ask him to put his knees up. Speaking of making the “grind” easier for you, ask your partner to put his knees up. That way, your back can recline on his legs as you’re moving your hips around. You’d be amazed how much this one hack can do for you. Straight up.
Add lube. When you get a chance, check out “The Wetter, The Better: 10 Creative Ways To Use Lubricant” and you will automatically see why bringing lubrication into a cowgirl session is an absolute must. It reduces friction. It makes your movements glide with ease. And it’s just more fun. Promise you that.
Lean in. If your partner happens to be on the larger side of life, one way that you can control his depth is by leaning forward into him. That way, your hips can better control how much or little he is inside of you, so that you can get into a position that gives you the sensation that you are looking for.
Get him to multitask. Again, whether you are spelling “coconut” or not and whether you are riding cowgirl or reverse cowgirl — something that is awesome about being on top is it frees your partner’s hands to do, umm, other things. And since it is so much easier to have an orgasm while your clitoris is being stimulated, get your partner to put some of the lube that we discussed earlier on his fingertips, so that he can gently rub on your clitoris while you are riding him. It doesn’t get much better than that!
Don’t wanna spell? Hula Hoop then. What if you try the whole coconut thing and it’s not a favorite for you (or him)? No problem — when’s the last time that you hula hooped? Pretend that you have one of those around your hips and move around that way. I’d be shocked if you ended up feeling “meh” about that option.
5 Guys Tell Me What They Love When Their Partner Is on Top
GiphyA part of the reason why I am “team cowgirl” is because it provides a lot of benefits to the woman: she has more control, it tends to be more comfortable for her, it’s a great position for a quickie and the orgasms tend to be that much more — wonderful. However, as I was thinking about spelling coconut, in general, I couldn’t help but wonder what guys thought about it and the cowgirl position overall.
If you’re curious, here’s what five of ‘em said.
1. Braxford. Engaged. 35. “Y’all be spelling up there? Who knew? My favorite thing about when my fiancée is on top is what I think every man likes: the view. It’s a chance to see her entire body and experience it at the same time. Not even doggy style accomplishes that. Damn, where’s my lady at?”
2. Denez. Single. 42. “Do you know how many ‘spots’ you have access to when y’all are on top? Breasts are in my mouth. Hickeys are on her neck. Prop my head up on a pillow and her tummy is getting licked. When a woman is riding you, it’s sensory overload! It’s crazy how each one looks amazing in that position too.”
3. Omar. In a Serious Relationship. 29. “[He said her name yet I’m not going to share it] isn’t a very vocal lover. Her body and technique are insane, so even though I love dirty talk, I’ve learned to compromise — except when she’s on top. She’s not saying much but those moans? And yeah, we tried the coconut thing. ‘Cs’ and ‘Os,’ hell yeah. ‘Ns’ and “Ts’? Nah.”
4. Nolen. Single. 45. “45 isn’t old but it’s old enough for your back to show out on you when you least expect it. My experience has been that women don’t want a lot of thrusting when they are on top, so it’s like having some of the best sex without having to do much at all. Well, aside from trying not to bust too quickly. I take that back: riding is easy on the body; it’s work on the brain.”
5. Ivan. Married. 37. “I like the spelling sh-t because it switches things up. We make a game out of it by her picking a word and spelling out while I try and guess what it is. We also try to see how many words that we can get to before one of us cums. 12 words is pushing it unless it’s like ‘dog’ or ‘cat’ or something. I’ve guessed ‘coconut’ a few times and I get what the excitement is all about. Spelling bee sex: try it.”
Yep. I concur.
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Featured image by Giphy