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5 Fall Staples To Incorporate In Your Wardrobe In Your 30's
Edward Berthelot/Getty Images

5 Fall Staples To Incorporate In Your Wardrobe In Your 30's

Your confidence translates to your personal style.

Style

The moment I stepped into my 30s, my entire sense of self changed. It could be a placebo effect since women are often told, in many subtle and unsubtle ways, how life ends at 29. And if you're a single woman engrained in southern culture, you might be saturated with questions of children or marriage before you even hit 3-0. While it can be scary to transition from the wild days of your 20s to a seemingly quieter life in your 30s, we're slowly seeing that stereotype being shattered. We are surrounded by female icons and celebrities who refuse to adhere to the ageism experienced in almost every professional industry. And that confidence translates to your personal style.


More so than before, it's about the silhouette and investing in clothing that makes you feel comfortable and confident. In this stage, we're happily trading night outs for early morning boardroom meetings, and weekend ragers for staycations in the mountains with your intimate tribe.

Even if the mainstream trends are set by younger generations without a full paycheck or corporate jobs, there are plenty of trend-worthy pieces that will stand the test of time and work perfectly for the hustling lifestyle.

1.Trousers

I'll be honest: I never understood the need for a perfect pair of suit pants until I got into my very late 20s. For many years, denim was my go-to gal so much so that I never bothered to date other types of trousers. But once you find your first pair of excellent suit pants, akin to finding a gifted nail technician, you never look back. And as elevated suiting resurges from its 90s grave, investing in suit pants that flatter is paramount.

Where to Shop: Re Ona, Hanifa

2.Satin Dress

When you reach a certain level of confidence within your personal style, typically towards your late 20s and early 30s, it's no longer only about showing skin. Sex appeal is defined differently and your wardrobe needs to reflect that. For a first date night, a girls' night out, or an über-sexy moment; a satin dress will keep right - morning, noon, or night. You go with an ultra-mini hemline to show off those gorgeous legs or opt for an ankle-sweeping flare that flatters and elongates the legs. Either way, a satin dress is perfect for adding a significant amount of sex appeal to your style without sacrificing comfort.

Where to Shop: Kai Collective

3.Strappy Heels

Not only are the 90s strappy heels making a comeback, but they are also perfect to pair with almost anything found in a working woman's wardrobe. One of the key elements to nailing style in your 30's is utility. With the strappy heel, you can effortlessly dress them up or down - with a cozy pair of denim, under a perfect pair of trousers, or with your favorite midi dress. The longevity of this trend is one of the most enticing things about it; if you invest and take care of your items, you can carry this trend for decades.

Where to Shop: Tom Bianco; Lilly's Kloset

4.Loose-Fit Denim

It's time to put your super skinny jeans on hold and invest in a new trend. As of late, and especially in the wake of a whole year of WFH, a perfect pair of loose-fit denim remains my best friend. Cropped or baggy; high rise or low rise; there are many options for the perfect loose-fit denim. As with many trends in this article, you can easily dress up your denim with a shorter blazer or strappy heels; you can also dress down by adding your favorite flats and crisp white shirt. After all, the name of the game is sustainability.

Where to Shop: Madewell, American Eagle, Good American

5.Trench Coat

Whether you live in a cold climate is irrelevant; everyone needs a long-lined trench in their wardrobe. It's the one stellar go-to coat that you can style with elevated basics or your favorite corporate suit. Trench coats are available in a plethora of silhouettes, fabrics, and across a variety of price points - making them customizable to your personal style.

Where to Shop: Burberry, ASOS

To get your fashion fix and to stay up to date with the latest trends, check out the xoNecole Style section here.

Featured image by Edward Berthelot/Getty Images

Tisha Campbell Opens Up About Finding Herself Again After Divorce

Tisha Campbell has a new show on Netflix called Uncoupled which stars Neil Patrick Harris as his character learns to rebuild his life after a breakup with his long-term partner. While Tisha’s character may not be going through a breakup, the veteran actress has had a similar experience in real life. The Martin star divorced the L.A.’s Finest star Duane Martin after 22 years of marriage and 27 years together in total. Soon after the divorce was finalized, Tisha claimed that Duane left her with $7 to her name but now she is in the restoration phase of her life.

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Black Women, We Deserve More

When the NYT posted an article this week about the recent marriage of a Black woman VP of a multi-billion-dollar company and a Black man who took her on a first date at the parking lot of a Popeyes, the reaction on social media was swift and polarizing. The two met on Hinge and had their parking lot rendezvous after he’d canceled their first two dates. When the groom posted a photo from their wedding on social media, he bragged about how he never had “pressure” to take her on “any fancy dates or expensive restaurants.”

It’s worth reading on your own to get the full breadth of all the foolery that transpired. But the Twitter discourse it inspired on what could lead a successful Black woman to accept lower than bare minimum in pursuit of a relationship and marriage, made me think of the years of messaging that Black women receive about how our standards are too high and what we have to “bring to the table” in order to be "worthy" of what society has deemed is the ultimate showing of our worth: a marriage to a man.

That's right, the first pandemic I lived through was not Covid, but the pandemic of the Black male relationship expert. I was young – thirteen to be exact – when Steve Harvey published his best-selling book Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man. Though he was still just a stand-up comedian, oversized suit hoarder, and man on his third marriage at the time, his relationship advice was taken as the gospel truth.

The 2000s were a particularly bleak time to be a single Black woman. Much of the messaging –created by men – that surrounded Black women at the time blamed their desire for a successful career and for a partner that matched their drive and ambition for the lack of romance in their life. Statistics about Black women’s marriageability were always wielded against Black women as evidence of our lack of desirability.

It’s no wonder then that a man that donned a box cut well into the 2000s was able to convince women across the nation to not have sex for the first three months of a relationship. Or that a slew of other Black men had their go at telling Black women that they’re not good enough and why their book, seminar, or show will be the thing that makes them worthy of a Good Man™.

This is how we end up marrying men who cancel twice before taking us on a “date” in the Popeyes parking lot, or husbands writing social media posts about how their Black wife is not “the most beautiful” or “the most intelligent” or the latest season of trauma dumping known as Black Love on OWN.

Now that I’ve reached my late twenties, many things about how Black women approach dating and relationships have changed and many things have remained the same. For many Black women, the idea of chronic singleness is not the threat that it used to be. Wanting romance doesn’t exist in a way that threatens to undermine the other relationships we have with our friends, family, and ourselves as it once did, or at least once was presented to us. There is a version of life many of us are embracing where a man not wanting us, is not the end of what could still be fruitful and vibrant life.

There are still Black women out there however who have yet to unlearn the toxic ideals that have been projected onto us about our worthiness in relation to our intimate lives. I see it all the time online. The absolute humiliation and disrespect some Black women are willing to stomach in the name of being partnered. The hoops that some Black women are willing to jump through just to receive whatever lies beneath the bare minimum.

It's worth remembering that there are different forces at play that gather to make Black women feast off the scraps we are given. A world saturated by colorism, fatphobia, anti-Blackness, ableism, and classism will always punish Black women who demand more for themselves. Dismantling these systems also means divesting from any and everything that makes us question our worth.

Because truth be told, Black women are more than worthy of having a love that is built on mutual respect and admiration. A love that is honey sweet and radiates a light that rivals the sun. A love that is a steadying calming force that doesn’t bring confusion or anxiety. Black women deserve a love that is worthy of the prize that we are.

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Featured image: Getty Images

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