When thinking of basics, I tend to think of a plain white, neutral or black staple that can be worn with just about anything in my wardrobe. From white tees to denim jeans, these are the type of classics most of us already own which means it's time to think outside the box when refreshing our mix of summer basics.
After a tumultuous 15 months, I'm seeing a new trend emerge in the world of everyday fashion that I can only attribute to the excitement of getting dressed with somewhere to go. One of my favorites this season, the asymmetrical knit has been on my radar for the past few months and I'm loving how this simple yet chic detail can quickly elevate a look especially when paired with other cool basics.
This season is an era of sexy "basics" reminiscent of the early 2000's fashion evolution, full of risky decisions yet quirky perspectives on styles, brands today are redefining what it means to wear basics. Gone are the days of blending in, these are the knit basics that will effortlessly stand out.
Now Trending: White on White
One of my favorite looks this season, this white on white combination is an effortlessly sleek look with a one shoulder knit tank paired with super lightweight utility pants. Both top and bottom from Black-owned lifestyle brand, Local European, are a reimagining of classic staples. I love the combination of an asymmetrical design and knit tank top.
The lightweight wide leg bottoms are a trend on the rise as we transition from oversized knit sweatpants for a cooler summer option. Paired with another summer must-have, a black thong sandal is the last and final touch.
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Now Trending: Wide Leg
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Another chic and easy way to pair an asymmetrical top this summer is with a wide leg denim jean. The perfect casual look when out and about town or heading to a local farmers market, I decided to wear a fun one-toe flat slide for an even more stylish approach. With a pop of color and my go-to square sunnies, this is one of the most comfortable chic looks.
Now Trending: Maximalism
All basics may not be created equal but there are options for everyone, including maximalists. For those that need color in their everyday lives, this vibrantly orange one shoulder knit is a fierce choice for an edgier take on a casual look. Pairing this new age asymmetrical knit top with a classic cargo is a balanced approach to this season's one shoulder trend. Having fun, I added a yellow thong sandal to complete this color-blocked look.
Read all about fashion and style here.
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Images by Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
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The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:Â Â
​Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
​Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
​Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
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Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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