

Fashion photographer and original gangster Bill Cunningham once said:
"Fashion is the armor to survive the reality of everyday life."
Your style speaks for you before you ever introduce yourself.
As girl bosses, it is our job to make sure that our style staples exude confidence, strength, and distinction. Though women are intrinsically stylish and we find a way to make things our own, women of the melanated persuasion kick it up a notch with all types of sass and class.
No matter your style, every woman needs full-proof pieces that will withstand time and the evolution of trends. While you may think your 20-somethings won't end, they will. And you need to be ready!
We found one of our favorite humans dripping in all of the perennial pieces a girl needs in her wardrobe. Lifestyle blogger, Kyrzayda Rodriguez, has a true passion for passion. She provides us beautiful content through on blog, Kyrzayda.com weekly. Her story is beyond inspiring and her transparency is humanizing. Above all, this woman promotes self-love and enjoying the skin you're in. Dressing the part is a testament to that.
Check out the indefinite classic items you need in your closet by the time you turn 30 by clicking through the gallery below:
1.Elegant blazer
Blazers are a quick way to make any look stylish. This velvet number is quite alluring.

2.Ballet flats
You can dress ballet flats up or down. Most importantly, they are essential for a career look.

3.Classic pumps
No matter the color or style, pumps will always be a pillar of a woman's wardrobe. The versatility is unmeasurable as you can rock them with everything.

4.Authentic leather handbag
Leather material is everlasting and a leather bag can instantly add a grown woman vibe to your outfit.

5.Tailored suit
Our girl, Kyrzayda, bossed up with her version of the tailored suit. But you can get a nice suit from T.J. Maxx or Express and take it to your local seamstress to make it just right for you.

6.Diamond earrings
If you want a clean look, invest in diamond earrings.

7.A white blouse
A nice blouse can go a long way. Pair it with a pencil skirt or high-waisted pants and you are good to go.

8.The trench coat
The weather can play a major role in your style. When the weather is cooler, be sure to have a long trench coat in your closet.

9.Little black dress
There's nothing sexier than a woman in a little black dress. You can never go wrong wearing an LBD on a date or for a night on the town with the girls.

10. A nice watch
Accessories can make or break an outfit. With a nice watch, you are sure to look and feel like the boss you are.

11. A white tee
There is nothing more classic than a white tee. Dem Franchise Boyz even made a super popping song about it. Style it up with some flashy boots or kill it with some sneakers.

12. Denim jacket
I love a good denim jacket because it is multi-purpose and you can find really vintage jackets at the thrift store.

13. Moto jacket
Motorcycle jackets give you an edgy appeal like no other jacket. Throw it over your shoulders and you will look as chic as any fashion blogger.

14. Classic white button down
You especially need a classic white button up before you turn 30 because it is the pinnacle of fashion. They are perfect for interviews making for a polished look.

15. Striped shirt
Having a striped shirt in your drawer means that you are ready for whatever. The pattern ordains a clean but fun vibe.

16. Statement jacket
What better way to make a statement than with a fly ass coat?

17. The perfect pair of jeans
The good thing about perfect fitting jeans is that you can find them in different styles. Opt for a pair of bell-bottom jeans like Kyrzayda or get super comfy with a pair of boyfriend jeans. With places like Old Navy and Fashion Nova at your fingertips, there's no excuse not to have this staple.

18. Black pants
Black will never go out of style. Black pants will also never let you down. They are an essential career staple and they are a great addition to an all-black outfit.

19. Booties
You have to love a good pair of booties. The intentionality of booties transcends different styles.

20. Lace bra
Lace bra = grown as f*ck. When you see a woman in a lace bra, you know she has her ish together.

21. Midi skirts
Midi skirts give just the right amount of pizazz in any setting.

22. White sneakers
Virtually the most casual yet classic staple, white sneakers are immortal for what they do for your wardrobe.

23. Everyday tote
If you are a woman on the go, you most definitely need a tote that can hold your work and beauty goodies.

24. Cat eye sunglasses
We all love donning sunglasses for those late night runs to Target. They are so necessary to have for any function serving as a faultless accessory.

25. Wide brim hat
For those bad hair days, you need a wide brim hat on ready.

26. Single-strap stiletto sandal
This has to be one of my favorite staples because I wear them with almost every look. Single strappies provide a simple yet elemental appearance.

27. Duster coats
Duster coats will have you queening the streets of your city. They are perfect for the fall months.

28. Silk scarf
No need to steal your mom's silk scarf - get your own!

29. The perfect bathing suit
Shopping for the perfect bathing suit can be a nightmare but once you find "the one," you are made.

30. Power dress
In any case of your job or career, as a woman, you need a power dress to show everyone that you mean business without sacrificing your personality.

What are some staples you think every woman should own?
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Joce Blake is a womanist who loves fashion, Beyonce and Hot Cheetos. The sophistiratchet enthusiast is based in Brooklyn, NY but has southern belle roots as she was born and raised in Memphis, TN. Keep up with her on Instagram @joce_blake and on Twitter @SaraJessicaBee.
Devale Ellis On Being A Provider, Marriage Growth & Redefining Fatherhood
In this candid episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Devale Ellis, actor, social media personality, and star of Zatima, about modern masculinity, learning to be a better husband, emotional presence in marriage, fatherhood for Black men, and leading by example.
“I Wasn’t Present Emotionally”: Devale Ellis on Marriage Growth
Devale Ellis On Learning He Was a ‘Bad Husband’
Ellis grew up believing that a man should prioritize providing for his family. “I know this may come off as misogynistic, but I feel like it’s my responsibility as a man to pay for everything,” he said, emphasizing the wise guidance passed down by his father. However, five years into his marriage to long-time partner Khadeen Ellis, he realized provision wasn’t just financial.
“I was a bad husband because I wasn’t present emotionally… I wasn’t concerned about what she needed outside of the resources.”
Once he shifted his mindset, his marriage improved. “In me trying to be of service to her, I learned that me being of service created a woman who is now willing to be of service to me.”
On Redefining Masculinity and Fatherhood
For Ellis, “being a man is about being consistent.” As a father of four, he sees parenthood as a chance to reshape the future.
“Children give you another chance at life. I have four different opportunities right now to do my life all over again.”
He also works to uplift young Black men, reinforcing their worth in a world that often undermines them. His values extend to his career—Ellis refuses to play roles that involve domestic violence or sexual assault.
Watch the full episode below:
On Marriage, Family Planning, and Writing His Story
After his wife’s postpartum preeclampsia, Ellis chose a vasectomy over her taking hormonal birth control, further proving his commitment to their partnership. He and Khadeen share their journey in We Over Me, and his next book, Raising Kings: How Fatherhood Saved Me From Myself, is on the way.
Through honesty and growth, Devale Ellis challenges traditional ideas of masculinity, making his story one that resonates deeply with millennial women.
For the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker peels back the layers of masculinity with candid conversations that challenge stereotypes and celebrate vulnerability. Real men. Real stories. Real talk.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
Featured image by YouTube/xoNecole
6 Tabletop Sex Positions That'll Unlock You & Bae's Most Primal Desires
Something I will never tire of is finding new ways to bring new layers to intimacy. A wall you use as momentum, a bathroom sink to help you keep your balance as he worships you on his knees, a shower that is usually for cleansing but evolves into a sacred ritual of shared intimacy.
My favorite kind of sex is the kind of sex that prioritizes pleasure and connection. So, technically and thankfully, I can say most of my sex life has been quite pleasurable throughout the years. But the memorable encounters for sure take the cake. One such encounter actually took place on a kitchen counter, and with it unleashed inhibitions in ways I never anticipated while unlocking levels to top-tier sex. And that, that involved a kitchen counter.
Why Kitchen Counter Sex Just Hits Different
What is it about having your hips pressed into the edge of a kitchen counter that lets out something so primal in you? The cool-to-the-touch feel of the countertop against exposed skin as you rise to meet him again and again. The urgency in every movement. The playfulness of repurposing an everyday space for something far more erotic. If you’re looking to bring that energy into your own sex life, keep reading for positions and tips to explore.
1. The Bounce House
They don’t call it Bounce House for nothing. In this position, the penetrating partner lies flat on their back on a sturdy table or counter while the receiving partner straddles them, knees bent and facing away. With their hands gripping the edge of the surface for support, the receiving partner slides or bounces at their own pace, owning the rhythm, the motion, and the view.
According to sex therapist Michael Aaron, Ph.D., who spoke with Women’s Health, the receiving partner placing their legs between their partner’s creates a tighter sensation, while staying fully astride allows for more bounce and range of motion. Either way, this one puts the receiver in full control, and you know we love a good woman on top position. Pleasure and power? Say less.
2. The Bicycle
Well, you know what they say about riding a bike. In the case of this table top position, it's the receiving partner who is the rider...but not in the way you think. While lying back on a sturdy surface or a table, the receiver will bring their knees toward their chest, bending them as if in a cycling motion. The penetrating partner stands at the edge of the surface, grabbing the receiver's ankles, and guides themselves inside, slowly so as to savor the moment. This angle puts everything on display for the penetrating partner while allowing for deep, connected thrusting for the receiver.
To take things up a notch , the receiving partner can touch themselves or flex their thighs to control the depth or the rhythm. Because, who says only one person gets to have control?
3. Counter Offer
How could we be at the table and not use it to eat? Enter: Counter Offer. In this oral-focused sex position, the receiving partner perches on the edge of a counter or table, lying back or sitting upright with legs parted or bent for comfort. The penetrating partner kneels or stands between their thighs, depending on the setup and the kind of attention they’re ready to give. No doubt, this one’s all about access and intention.
With the vulva front and center, the height makes it easier to maintain eye contact, use hands freely for things like breast play or incorporating toys, and take their time with every moan-inducing taste. And that’s on five, six, seven, ATE.
4. Standing Doggy
Standing Doggy is what happens when a classic like doggy style gets an upgrade. Instead of being on all fours on a bed, the receiving partner bends over a hard surface like a table or counter, keeping their hips aligned at its edge. The penetrating partner stands behind and enters from the back, using the angle to go deeper and create a strong, steady rhythm. This one offers maximum control and visual appeal, especially if the penetrating partner reaches around for a little extra clitoral stimulation throughout thrusting.
This angle can get intense quickly, so bonus points if the receiving partner engages their pelvic floor muscles or shifts their weight to adjust how the pressure hits, especially if your goal is to hit that G-spot sweet spot.
5. Top Shelf
Men's Healthcalls this one "Yourself on the Shelf," but we like to call it "Top Shelf" because it's giving full view, full grip, and climax potential that's hard to top. The receiving partner sits on the edge of a sturdy table or counter while the penetrating partner stands in front of them and slowly slides in, thrusting while keeping them in position. From there, legs can wrap around their waist, arms can encircle their back, and the closeness at peak ecstasy? Chef's kiss.
If you have the core strength, add lifting to the menu for the final strokes leading to orgasm. Otherwise, allow the surface to the heavy lifting and enjoy the pleasure.
6. The Thumper
What better way to remind yourself that you're both the snack and the entrée than with a little tableside service courtesy of The Thumper? This position has the receiving partner kneeling on a sturdy table or counter (keyword: sturdy), hands gripping the edge or braced in front for support. The penetrating partner can then either kneel behind them (if there's room for two), or stay anchored on the ground with both feet planted on the floor (similar to the previously mentioned Standing Doggy). It all depends on the mood.
Kneeling on the table offers just the right amount of leverage for deep, steady strokes. The receiving partner can play with tightness by either keeping their knees closer together for a snug grip, or open their knees wider to invite more access, depth, and stretch. The Thumper is versatile that way, and the most important thing? The receiver gets to be the main course. Yum.
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