Uh-huh. The title alone lets you know that there is so much to unpack here, so take a deep breath and let's knock this one out so that we all can get free, amen? I guess a good place to start would be with a personal example of why I think this is a topic that should be tackled more often. OK, so there's someone I know who, twice, called me because they needed money for their bills. Because I considered them to be a friend, let's just say that I took care of more than a month because I knew how down on their times they were. Y'all but when someone (several months later) in my family died and I asked them if I could use some of their frequent flyer miles (because they had a ton and clearly this was an emergency), their response was, "I plan on going on a lot of trips this year, so I don't want to give those up." Honey, someone died. DIED.
One-sided friendships are a trip, y'all. They're also just how you'd expect them to be — one person doing most of the work; one person constantly being the shoulder to lean on; one person giving 75-90 percent of the support and encouragement; one person is doing most of the giving and one person always going with their needs being unmet and sometimes, flippantly dismissed or ignored.
Honestly, if I had to choose between an enemy or any more one-sided friends, I'd probably go with the enemy because at least, more times than not, they're not getting anything out of me and I know just where I stand. Yep, that's how bad a one-sided friendship can be. That's why I think we should walk through this thing, together, in the hopes that, if you are or aren't sure if you're currently in a one-sided dynamic with someone, you can get the clarity that you seek in order to make the decision that you need to make. SOON.
First of All, Are You Sure the One-Sided Friendship Is Even a Friendship?
Something that really can't be said enough is the fact that what makes anything a healthy relationship is the root word of the word itself. To relate is to establish a connection and to connect is to communicate and unite with someone else. And y'all, this can't really or completely happen when only one individual is putting forth the time, effort and energy. You know, the reason why I've written articles for the platform like "Always Remember That Friendships Have 'Levels' To Them", "According To Aristotle, We Need 'Utility', 'Pleasure' & 'Good' Friends", "What If You Love Your Friend...But Don't Like Her Anymore?", "What A Supportive Friend Actually Does (It's Not Quite What You Think)" and "Ever Wonder If A Friend Is Just...Not That Into You?" is because I know, from personal experience and the accountants that I've heard from others, that a part of the reason why so many of us find ourselves disappointed in our friendships so often is because we're not even really sure what we should expect from that type of relational dynamic in the first place. And many times, that's due to how our first friendships went down when we were kids.
It's kind of like that wack story that a lot of us were told while growing up — that if a little boy mistreats you in the first grade, that means he likes you (please don't tell your daughters that foolishness). Along these same lines, many of us were introduced to interacting with young boys and girls who were bullies, mean girls and manipulators. And so, unless someone took us aside and explained what our standards and expectations should be, a lot of us found ourselves in highly dysfunctional situations, very early on.
So yeah, if you're wondering if you're in a one-sided friendship or not, first do some real soul-searching over whether or not you even have a good grasp of what a true friend is. A true friend is loyal. A true friend is trustworthy. A true friend respects you. A true friend wants you to feel valued. A true friend shows consistent reciprocity. A true friend supports you. A true friend challenges you. A true friend helps you to feel comfortable in your own skin. A true friend is reliable AF.
If all of what I just said either is somehow foreign to you or has triggered you on some level because you realize that some of your friendships don't look this way, that is already a sign that you may be in something that isn't very healthy or beneficial for you.
How Did Things Start Off?
On the heels of what I just said, a wise person once stated something along the lines of, if you want to see how something will turn out, reflect on how it began.
That said, there is a past friendship of mine that I had to release a couple of years ago because I was definitely doing more giving than I was receiving. And when I think back on how we began, it was during a time when my self-esteem was pretty low, so I introduced myself to her while in a state of admiring her and thinking that she was beyond awesome. While on the surface, that probably doesn't seem so bad, the flag in that is when you start any kind of relationship thinking that you are "less than" in comparison to someone else, that can cause things to have a really imbalanced start. In my case, I was more like a fan of hers and she found ways to avail herself and sometimes even exploit that energy.
So much to the point that when I jotted down how much money (for example) that I had spent over the course of our entire relationship, it was literally in the thousands. Meanwhile, she had gotten me a ring from a museum and some lip gloss that she lost (so I never saw it). Another example is I realized that when I would call her to talk about my problems, she found ways to make things be about her or she would overtalk me to the point where I didn't get to complete my thoughts. Another example? We would plan dates and either she would cancel at the last minute or if I came to her home, numerous times she would be on the phone during the visit or fall asleep (which means you didn't appreciate my driving all the way out to your house, on loop).
Now that's not to demonize her because we had some good moments and if there is one thing she did well (at least to my knowledge) was honor confidentiality. Still, when you start to really like your own self and become your own BFF (check out "Self BFF: 7 Signs You're Your Own Best Friend"), you realize that you want what you give. Not only that but you also realize that there are people in this world who are willing to step up to the plate when it comes to what those needs actually are.
Honestly, in retrospect, had I not been so in awe of her and she didn't feel so comfortable with my being that way, perhaps our friendship could've ended up a different way. What I will say is when I ponder the start of a lot of the friendships I have now, they are way healthier than many of the ones in my past. And I can't help but believe that there is truly something to that because a healthy beginning has a much better chance of continuing on that sort of path.
Have You Ever Experienced a Balanced Friendship Before?
Listen, I'll be the first to say that it's amazing that I am (still) a marriage life coach because when I tell you that both in my family and out, I have seen some straight bullshishery…whew. One time, when my mother and I were discussing this very thing some years ago, she said something that I'm glad I took to heart — "I hope you come into contact with some healthy marriages, so you don't end up becoming jaded." While I must admit that, based on the true definition of healthy, those couples are kind of like a rainbow unicorn, I am thrilled to say that I personally know some, that they are quite inspiring, and they help me to stay motivated to do what I do.
Where am I going with this? Not only do I know some healthy marriages, I also have some balanced friendships. You know what, though? Before I had experienced them for myself, it was easy for me to remain in the hamster wheel of one-sided dynamics because, while they weren't fulfilling me, they were still what I was used to. And what do I mean by "balanced"? Be careful of the kinds of people who state that they can't meet your needs because they "don't have the time".
All of us are busy. All of us have a lot on our plate. Still, we find a way to make time for who and what matters to us — and when someone truly values what you bring to their life, they are going to make sure that you know it.
The reason why I like to use the word "balance" when it comes to defining the opposite of a one-sided friendship situation is because it means things like "the equal distribution of weight". Not just one person is there for the other. Not just one person is doing the giving. Not just one person is being helpful and supportive, even when it's inconvenient at times (check out "Life Taught Me That True Friendships Are 'Inconvenient'"). When two people have signed up to be in a true friendship, they know that there is a certain amount of "weight" that they both need to carry. In fact, by them both doing so, that keeps the friendship from feeling taxing or burdensome for either one of them.
When you've never been in this kind of friendship before, it can be easy to tolerate something far less. That's why I think it's also really important to reflect on who you're in a balanced relationship with. Then, compare those to the ones that are imbalanced. And then, ask yourself why you are remaining in the second ones. This brings me to my next point.
Is Fear Your Relational Motivation to Remain in One-Sided Situations?
I say it often — the opposite of love is not hate but fear. Even the Bible cosigns on that. One of the things that I appreciate about I John 4:18 is it states that "fear involves to torment" and that couldn't be truer when it comes to remaining in one-sided friendships with other people because torment is about constantly worrying and putting yourself through incessant mental suffering. And when we're scared that if we speak up for what we need or are lacking in our relationships, because we don't know what the outcome(s) will be if we do, we are definitely tormenting ourselves.
I once wrote on this platform about a friend who ghosted me because I started telling her what was and wasn't working for me in the friendship (check out "I Was 'Ghosted' By My Best Friend"). I also once had a guy friend who tried to gaslight me the moment when I started to call him out on some of his manipulative ways. The thing that I hate most about both of these situations is I would've been rid of being emotionally mistreated and taken for granted had I not allowed fear to keep me from confronting them years ago.
When it comes to one-sided friendships, never allow fear to hold you back from stating your mind and sharing your heart. The right ones will appreciate that you did. The wrong ones? Well, they will reveal how wrong for/to you they actually were. It's a win either way.
Do You Even Know What You Need in Your Friendships?
With healing comes seeing things from a broader perspective. I will be the first to say that. And while I'm not really trying to defend those who reaped the benefits of being in a one-sided friendship with me (because, believe you me, most of them know it and have absolutely no problem with it; that's another article for another time, though), what I will say is it's unfair to expect anyone to be a mind reader.
Where I'm going with this is, something that I realized in the process of pulling my own self out of the ditch of one-sided friendships is, I had been so used to giving until I was depleted that I wasn't even really sure that my actual needs were much of the time. And so, while I knew things were lacking and I was growing resentful because of it, if one of those people were to say, "List the 10 things you need me to do," I honestly probably would've said, "If you were really my friend, you would try to figure it out. I mean, I am attentive and proactive towards you."
Y'all, if there is one thing that can spare you a ton of disappointment, disillusionment and potential heartbreak (check out "How To Heal From A Broken Friendship"), it's accepting the very true reality that it's unfair to expect people to think like or do the things that you would do, just because you want them to.
That's why clear, concise and consistent communication in relationships — all kinds of relationships — is so important because, holding your needs in, even if it's to "keep the peace" is a form of self-disrespect; however, you can only say that you aren't being respected in the way that you deserve from others once you state what your needs are and they continue to not meet them — because once they know and ignore, now it's a conscious choice. And that's when it's evident that the friendship is problematic and something must be done.
This brings me to my final point.
If Your Needs Aren’t Met, Are You Prepared to Let It Go?
Again, now that I have the kind of friendships where I am meeting needs as my needs are being met, I promise you that I can't think of a solid logical reason for why I would tolerate another one-sided friendship. Case in point. There is someone in my sphere who is cool as all get out. Still, the last time I saw her, I said, "You know we only talk when I call you, right? So, next time we chat, it'll be because you rang me." When I said it, she laughed and was like, "Not so but girl, I'll give you a ring, for sure." Guess how long that's been? Around two years now. On this side of being not codependent or fearful of "losing friendships", I am just fine with that. When I see her, it'll be fine. Yet am I interested in keeping things going by doing all of the work? Uh-uh.
As I bring this all to a close, the main point here is sometimes, the way to handle a one-sided friendship is to end the friendship. I'm not gonna lie and say that it's always easy because as unhealthy as one-sided relationships can be, clearly there is something that you like about the person that has caused you to stick it all out. Personally, what I did was come from the angle of, all of the time, effort and energy, blood, sweat and tears that I was putting into a one-sided friendship where I wasn't getting much reciprocity at all, I now have the room for people who are all about about mutuality — and that is what's so much more beneficial to my overall health and well-being.
Real talk, some of us are in one-sided friendships because we're not good enough friends to ourselves. That's why it's so important to do some self-love journaling (check out "Self-Love Journaling & Why You Should Be Doing It"), to get serious about what you REQUIRE in your friendships and to release those who are unwilling to meet you at your needs (not necessarily all of your wants but definitely your legitimate and realistic needs). Because what's the point in being in any kind of relationship where you are basically in it alone? And for the most part, sis, that's exactly what a one-sided friendship is.
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On set inside of a mid-city Los Angeles studio, it’s all eyes on Chlöe. She slightly shifts her body against a dark backdrop amidst camera clicks and whirs, giving a seductive pout here, and piercing eye contact there. Her chocolate locs are adorned with a few jewels that she requested to spice up the look, and on her shoulders rests a jeweled piece that she asked to be turned around to better showcase her neck (“I feel a bit old,” she said of the original direction). Her shapely figure is tucked into a strapless bodysuit with a deep v-neck that complements her décolletage.
Though subtle, her quiet wardrobe directives give the air of a woman who’s been here before, and certainly knows what she’s doing. At 24 years young, she’s a “Bossy” chick in training— one who’s politely unapologetic and learning the power of her own voice.
“I'm hesitant sometimes to truly speak my mind and speak up for myself and what I believe,” she later confessed to me a couple of weeks after the photoshoot. “It's always scary for me, but now I'm realizing that I have to, in order to gain respect as a Black woman— a young Black woman— who's still navigating who she is. And you know, I'm realizing that closed mouths don't get fed. And if I keep my mouth shut just because I'm afraid of what people's opinions of me will be or turn into, then that's not any way to live.”
For Chlöe, the journey into womanhood is about embracing who she is, without succumbing to the perceptions of what others think of her. From the waist up she’s everything you’d imagine. A gorgeous goddess with the kind of sex appeal that some work hard to embrace but fail to exude. But unbeknownst to anyone not on set, her bottom half is covered by a white robe, surprising coming from the girl who boasts “'Cause my booty so big, Lord, have mercy” on her first hit single “Have Mercy.”
But that’s the beauty of Chlöe. There’s more to her than meets the eye. More than what a few sensual photos sprinkled throughout an Instagram feed could ever tell you. Just like the photo-framing illusion of her portrayed from the waist up, what we know about the songstress is just the tip of the iceberg. There’s so much more beneath the surface.
Some hours later Chlöe leans back in a high chair as her locs are transformed from a formal updo to a seemingly Basquiat-inspired one. It’s pure art, and at her request, no wigs are a part of the day’s ensemble. She’s fully embracing her natural hair, a decision that wasn’t always a socially accepted one.
In the suburbs of Atlanta, Georgia, (Mableton, to be exact) Chlöe began to explore the foundation of her self-image. At an early age she and her younger sister, Halle, demonstrated a vocal prowess and knack for being in front of the camera that caught their parents’ attention. Soon after, they were sent on a parade of local talent shows and auditions, and eventually broke into the digital space with song covers on YouTube.
It was during these early years that Chlöe first learned that the entertainment industry could be unforgiving to those who didn’t fit a particular beauty standard. Despite the then three-year-old snagging a role as the younger version of Beyoncé’s character, Lilly, in Fighting Temptations, casting agents requested that her natural locs be exchanged for more Eurocentric tresses. Ironic, considering that growing up Chlöe saw her hair as no different than that of her peers. “I remember specifically in pre-K we had to do self-portraits and I drew myself with a regular straight ponytail, like how I would put my locs in a ponytail,” she says. “I just never saw myself any different.”
Chlöe would also learn the true meaning of a phrase that would later become an affirmation posted on her bedroom mirror: “Don’t Let the World Dim Your Light.” After attempting to wear wigs to fit in, the Bailey sisters instead chose to rock their locs with pride, which undoubtedly cost them casting roles. Yet they would have the last laugh when making headlines as the “Teen Dreadlocked Duo” who landed a million-dollar contract with Parkwood Entertainment, and the coveted opportunity to be groomed under the tutelage of a world-renowned superstar.
Credit: Derek Blanks
While that could be the end of a beautiful fairytale of self-empowerment, the reality is that it’s just the beginning of the story of her evolution. For most girls, the transition into womanhood takes place in the comfort of their own worlds, often limited to the number of people they allow to have access to them. But for Chlöe, it’s happening in front of millions of critiquing eyes just waiting for an opportunity to either uplift or dissect her through unwarranted commentary.
Many in her position wouldn’t be able to take that kind of pressure. But Chlöe is handling it with grace. “I feel like all of us as humans, we have the right to interpret things how we want,” she says. “I put art out into the world and it's up for interpretation. I'm learning that not everyone is going to always like me and that it's okay.”
Chlöe isn’t the first artist to receive criticism for her carnal content, and she certainly won’t be the last. In 2010, Ciara writhed and rode her way to banishment on BET when the then 24-year-old released her video for “Ride.” In 2006, 25-year-old Beyoncé received backlash for “Déjà Vu."
"I put art out into the world and it's up for interpretation. I'm learning that not everyone is going to always like me and that it's okay.”
So much so that over 5,000 fans signed an online petition demanding that her label re-shoot the video because it was “too sexual.” Even 27-year-old Janet didn’t escape critical headlines when she shed her image of innocence for a more risqué appearance with the 1993 release of janet.
It’s almost as if public reproach is a rite of passage for young Black women R&B singers on the road to stardom. Good girls seemingly “go bad” whenever they embrace the depths of their femininity, and fans only like you on top figuratively. But Chlöe has learned not to bow down to other people’s opinions, but to boss up and control the narrative. As the saying goes, well-behaved women seldom make history. If sex appeal is her weapon, she wields it well.
On set, Chlöe exudes the energy of Aphrodite in an apple red, off-shoulder dress with a sexy high split. In between shots, she mouths the lyrics to Yebba’s “Boomerang” as it echoes throughout the space in steady repetition at my recommendation. The hour grows late, yet Chlöe is heating things up as eyes stare in deep mesmerization of the girl on fire.
Credit: Derek Blanks
Through music, she explores the depths of her being, a journey that seems to be, at its foundation, rooted in self-discovery. Whereas their debut album The Kids Are Alright (2018) boasts a young Chloe x Halle empowering their generation to embrace who they are while finding their place in the world, their second album Ungodly Hour (2020) shows the Bailey sisters shedding the veil of innocence for a more unapologetic bravado.
What fans looked forward to seeing is who Chlöe shows herself to be on her debut solo album In Pieces. In an interview with PEOPLE, she confesses that releasing her first project without her sister was “scary.” "It was a moment of self-doubt where I was like, 'Can I do this without my sister?’”
Chlöe has never been shy about sharing her insecurities or her vulnerabilities, all of which are laced throughout the 14-track album. “I want people to have fun when they listen to it and to just realize that they're not alone and it's okay to be vulnerable and raw and open because none of us are perfect; we're all far from it. And I think it's healing when we all admit to that instead of putting up a facade.”
The gift of time has given the self-professed “big lover girl” more encounters with romance and heartbreak. Love songs once sung for their beautiful riffs and melodies become more than just abstract lyrics and are replaced by real-life experiences, which she tells me is definitely in the music.
In her single “Pray It Away,” for example, she contemplates going to God for healing instead of going at her ex-lover for revenge for his infidelities. “With anything dealing with art, I am completely vulnerable,” she says. “I'm completely myself, I'm completely open and transparent. So it's pretty much all of me and who I am right now.”
Has Chlöe been in love? That still remains to be said. Of course, she’s been linked to a few potential baes, but dating in the digital age isn’t as easy as a double tap or drop of a heart-eyes emoji. It requires a level of trust and vulnerability that’s hard to earn, and easy to mishandle. To let her guard down means to potentially set herself up for disappointment. “It’s difficult dating right now, honestly, because you really have to kind of keep your guard up and pay attention to who's really there for you. And you know, I'm such an affectionate person and I love hard.
"So when I meet the one person that I really, really am into, it's hard for me to see any others and I get attached pretty easily. And you know, I don't know, it's…it's a scary thing.”
Credit: Derek Blanks
“With anything dealing with art, I am completely vulnerable. I'm completely myself, I'm completely open and transparent. So it's pretty much all of me and who I am right now.”
While broken hearts yield good music (queue Adele), what’s in Chlöe’s prayer is the desire to be happy. What does that look like? Well, she’s still figuring that out herself. “Honestly, I'm the type of person who I don't truly learn unless I experience it. So it's like I can view and watch my parents and watch the loving relationships that I see in my life and be like, ‘Oh, I want that. I would love to have that.’ But then I also have to experience [love] on my own and see what my flaws or my faults might be or see what my good things about myself are. I feel like it's really all about self-reflection. And even though our base is our family and that's our foundation, we are still our own individuals and we have to find out specifically the things about ourselves that may be different from what we saw from our parents when we were growing up.”
Her ideal beau, she tells me, is someone she can feel safe to be her fun, goofy self with, but who also gives her the space to be the boss chick chasing her dreams. A man who understands that just because the world compliments her doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to hear those words from his lips or feel it in his touch. A bonus if he shows up on set after a long hard day of work with vegan cinnamon rolls. You know, the basic necessities. “I like whoever I'm with to constantly tell me they love me and that I look beautiful because I do the same. I am a very mushy person, and if I see something or you look good, I will never shy away from saying it out loud. And I want whoever I'm with to do the same, be very vocal. Tell me that you love me. Tell me what you love about me because I'm doing the same for you because that's just the person I am.”
Noted.
Until she meets her match she’s married to the game, and for now, that seems to be perfect matrimony.
Credit: Derek Blanks
On stage at the 2021 American Music Awards, Chlöe solidified her position as a force to be reckoned with. It was a full-circle moment. In 2012, bright-eyed and baby-faced Chloe and Halle would walk onto the set of The Ellen Degeneres Show and blow the audience away as they bellowed out their future mentor’s song. Ellen would present the sisters with tickets to attend the AMAs, assuring them that they would be back and had a promising future. Nine years later, Chlöe descends from the sky cloaked in a snow-white cape and matching midriff-baring bodysuit for her debut performance. It’s the first time she’s graced the stage of the very award show that she was once an audience member of.
As she shakes and shimmies and boom kack kacks out her eight counts, it’s clear that she’s in her element. Just like her VMA performance a couple of months prior, and the many more stages she’ll continue to grace, she brings an energy that has earned her comparisons to the beloved Queen Bey herself. An honorable statement, considering few R&B songstresses are getting accolades for their entertainment capabilities. It’s on these very stages, in front of hundreds of astonished eyes and millions more glued to their televisions at home, that she tells me she feels most sexy. Powerful, even.
But off stage, it’s a different story.
It’s more than just the commentary about her image and media-flamed rumors that get to her. Mentally, she’s in competition with herself. The desire to be the best burns at the back of her mind with every performance, every production, and every time she steps into the booth. Before, she could share the weight of this burden with her sister. Being a part of a duo meant she could turn to Halle for quiet confirmation and encouragement without a word being exchanged. But lately stepping on the stage means stepping out on her own. And despite being a breathtaking, five-time Grammy-nominated star, Chlöe doesn’t escape the reality that sometimes we can be our own worst critics.
Over the last year, she’s been coming to terms with who she is on her own while overcoming the fear of failing to become who she’s destined to be. While the world waits to see how Chlöe wins, the real triumph is in every day that she chooses herself and continues to walk in her purpose. “I don't really have anything all figured out, honestly. But what I try to do, a lot of prayer. I talk to God more and I just try to do things that calm my mind down and just breathe.”
To whom much is given, much will be required. She’s been chosen to walk this path for a reason. Once she fully embraces that everything she’s meant to be is already inside of her, she’ll be an unstoppable force. “My grandma, Elizabeth, she just passed away and my middle name is her [first] name. So I feel like I truly have a responsibility to live up to her legacy that she's left on this earth. I hope I can do that.”
There’s no doubt that she will. With a role in The Fighting Temptations at three years old, a million-dollar record deal, a main role on five seasons of Grown-ish, five Grammy nominations, a number one solo record in Urban and Rhythmic Radio, a debut solo album, and starring roles in recently released movies Praise Thisand Swarm (just to name a few), Chlöe’s certainly already made her mark, and she’s just getting started.
No flex.
Credits
Photographer & Creative Director: Derek Blanks
Executive Producer: Necole Kane
Co-Executive Producer: EJ Jamele
Producer: Erica Turnbull
Digitech: Chris Keller
DP: Alex Nikishin
Gaffer: Simeon Mihaylov
Photo Assistant: Chris Paschal
2nd Photo Assistant: Tyler Umprey
Features Editor: Kiah McBride
Special Projects: Tyeal Howell
Hair: Malcolm Marquez
Makeup: Yolonda Frederick
Fashion Styling: Ashley Sean Thomas
For More: Cover Story: Issa Rae Comes Full Circle
The actress dropped a few screengrabs of the film on her Instagram, leaving the fans squealing after noticing Keith Powers as her love interest (and who happens to be 20 years her junior). "It’s almost time! First look at my new movie, THE PERFECT FIND, coming to @Netflix on June 23! @NetflixFilm#ThePerfectFindNetflix#Tudum," the post was captioned.
But what can we expect from Netflix's newest romantic comedy? Here's everything we know about Union's new film, 'The Perfect Find.'
In the film, Keith Powers plays Gabrielle Union's boss' son.
Map that one out in your mind.
After being fired from her high-profile job and losing her long-time boyfriend in a chaotic way, Jenna (Union) is forced to move back to New York City in an attempt to revive her career. Things get a bit messy as she finds herself working for her frenemy, Darcy (Gina Torres), but also falls for her younger, charming coworker, Eric (Powers), who also happens to be Darcy’s son. Jenna is then faced with the decision to risk it all on the secret romance, and see if there can be a future with Eric despite their age and generation gap.
“Rom-coms are back,” director Numa Perrier teases to Netflix’s Tudum. “This is the movie. You’re going to laugh, you’re going to cry and it is very sexy. We will have our chemistry, we will have our sensuality, we will have all the things.”
When it came to selecting Powers as her love interest, Union says it was a no-brainer.
Courtesy of Netflix
“Everyone was like, ‘Okay, that might be a slightly younger person that people might throw it all away for,’” she told Vanity Fair. It also helped that Union and her husband, Dwyane Wade, were fans of how Powers and his on-again-off-again girlfriend, Ryan Destiny, handled their relationship publicly.
“We were openly fanning about Ryan and Keith and just loving how they moved through Hollywood, how they handled their relationship, how they handled the public love. It was just kind of a natural progression of a friendship that already existed, but it comes out of respect. He has an enormous amount of respect for Dwyane, I have an enormous amount of respect for Ryan, and it just made working super easy.”
The movie also stars Devale Ellis, DB Woodside, Janet Hubert, La La Anthony, Niecy Nash, and Gina Torres.
Perrier gives flowers to the cast, revealing that Torres is a scene-stealer as Eric’s mom and Darzine e-zine founder Darcy Hill and so much more. “She’s so magnetic, she lights up every room,” Perrier says. “We wanted her to just be an absolute New York fashion woman who’s bold and unapologetic and takes up all the space in the room. That’s who Gina Torres is. We don’t get to see her like that a lot because she plays very buttoned-up characters, but she really got to let go in the role of Darcy.”
Perrier similarly praised Hinds and Anthony, who plays Billie and Elodie, Jenna’s best friends and chosen family. “The three of them together, you feel like these are friends that have known each other and are supporting each other through every good and bad decision that they’ve made,” she says. “You feel that realness.”
Union says the film offered her the opportunity to tell a story that resonates.
Courtesy of Netflix
“[It] really sparked something inside of me about older women and how we can oftentimes disappear from society, almost, in terms of people looking at us as like we are past our prime,” she revealed. “That we carry no value, that no one sees value in a woman over 28, much less over 35, much less over 40, but baby, I’m thriving. So I wanted something that spoke to that that I hadn’t done before. Which is tough, because I’ve done a lot of rom-coms. This one is new. I’m thrilled.”
The film is based on the 2016 novel of the same name by Tia Williams.
Union was busy producing a rom-com for another A-list actor when she was inspired to make her own. Her production company, I'll Have Another, had recently optioned Robinne Lee's The Idea of You, "a very specific story to an aging white woman," Union tells Vanity Fair, "I knew it wasn't something I could just shove myself into because it really wasn't the right story for me…. We got Michael Showalter and Anne Hathaway and Cathy Schulman, and it was up and running."
The movie left Union with a desire to do the same for the culture. "It made me be on the lookout for a story that made me feel the same way, basically," That's when she was presented with the idea of bringing Tia Williams's 2016 novel, The Perfect Find to the big screen, a book suggested to Union by producer Tommy Oliver. "I'd already read it. I love that book. I love Tia. She's the shit. We have mutual friends. I'm like, Oh, my God, why didn't I think of that?"
Grab the book here!
Remember when Dwyane Wade surprised Union on set with the sweetest over-the-top romantic gesture? This was the set.
Wade sent a group of singers, dancers, and musicians to serenade Union with some of her favorite songs and also hand her a bunch of gorgeous white flowers. D'awwww!
Filming for The Perfect Find started in June of 2021 and lasted only seven weeks, officially ending by August. The film will be released on Netflix on June 23. Will you be watching?
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Featured image courtesy of Netflix
