Want A More Intense Orgasm? These Tips Are Sure To Make You Cream
Maybe it's just me, but whenever I hear someone say that they'd rather have a hot fudge sundae or to watch something on Hulu over having an orgasm, I can't help but wonder if they've ever actually had an orgasm before. Sure, there are other things that bring joy and pleasure in life, but I firmly believe that you'd be hard-pressed to find something that even comes close to a good old-fashioned climax.
The crazy thing is, if someone offered me $100 to describe what one feels like, I'd be stumped. I guess it's kind of like…going downhill on a roller coaster as you try and catch your breath. It makes you feel warm and tingly all over. Adding to that, it's the ultimate kind of release that is erotic, electric and totally satisfying. Actually, I've read authors who describe it as a glimpse into what heaven is like. Shoot, if that doesn't motivate you to live right in preparation for the afterlife, I don't know what will!
The way I see it, the only thing better than an orgasm is having multiple orgasms or a really intense one. As far as multiple ones go, we'll have to get into that at another time. But if you want a few tips on how to increase, deepen and strengthen your orgasms, here are some that are female-specific and proven. (You're welcome.)
Do Some Kegels
GiphyIf you are a self-professed sex connoisseur, you probably read this first tip and thought "Duh." I hear you, but I would be totally irresponsible to talk about how to take your orgasms up a notch and not mention the benefit and power that comes from doing kegels on a regular basis.
Kegels not only strengthen your pelvic floor, they also improve blood circulation to your vaginal region, increase lubrication, relax your vaginal muscles and help you to control your vaginal contractions better. If you want some tips on how to do kegels properly, pull out your exercise ball and then click here.
Take a Hot Bath
It's hard to not feel super sexy after soaking in your bathtub. If the water is hot, it will increase blood flow to your vagina. Something else it will do is make your vulva a lot more sensitive in the best way possible (why do you think some of us have orgasms while taking a bath or a hot shower?).
Have a Warm Cup of Saffron Milk
GiphyIf you're having trouble falling asleep, have a cup of warm milk. Although recent studies reveal that drinking it has more of a psychological effect than anything else, milk does contain small amounts of tryptophan which can definitely soothe your body, relax your mind and make going to sleep so much easier to do.
If you want to get a couple of rounds of sex in before catching some zzz's, put the spice saffron into your milk. Not only does it have the ability to increase your lubrication and intensify your arousal, but if you have a low libido due to depression symptoms, saffron can help to alleviate that too.
Eat a Spinach Omelet
Wanna have an earth-shattering orgasm? Try eating a spinach omelet an hour before gettin' it in. Eggs are sexually beneficial because they contain protein and choline. Protein helps to give you energy and choline triggers nitric oxide in your system so that blood circulation will increase to your genital region. Spinach is a nice addition because it's rich in manganese, magnesium and zinc. Manganese naturally helps your body to produce estrogen, magnesium improves your fertility and zinc boosts testosterone and lowers the production of prolactin in your body. That's a good thing because prolactin is sometimes linked to sexual dysfunction.
Fun fact: Something else that produces nitric oxide is evening primrose oil. It also balances hormones, relieves PMS and increases fertility as well.
Make Some Lube Out of Sweet Almond Oil and Peppermint Oil
GiphyPretty much any sex therapist will tell you that a golden key to powerful orgasms is lube, lube and more lube! If you want to create a slippery tingling sensation, make your own lubricant by combining sweet almond oil with peppermint oil.
Here's your warning. Pure peppermint oil is STRONG. If you're gonna put it anywhere near your vaginal region, a little bit goes a really long way. 1-2 drops in a half-cup of sweet almond oil is really all you need. Even then, test it out on the outer part of your labia (the outer folds of your vulva), just to make sure that it stimulates you instead of irritates you.
(By the way, if you'd like to add some lube to your sexual experience but you're also in the process of trying to conceive a child, Pre-Seed is a brand that will get you what you need without affecting your man's sperm in the process.)
Pay Attention to Your Nose (Vanilla/Black Licorice)
Did you know that women with a keen sense of smell have orgasms more often and more intensely? Two scents that are definitely an aphrodisiac for your nose are vanilla and black licorice.
Vanilla is the ultimate kind of seducer because it improves blood circulation throughout your body, has a euphoric effect on your brain, calms your nervous system and increases muscular energy. Black licorice works because it creates feelings of arousal in women.
You can get even more excited before and during sex if you apply vanilla or black licorice to some of your pressure points. Your breasts, your neck and, believe it or not, your ankles are three places where not only will the scents turn you on, but they can stimulate you easier and quicker too.
Become an Edging Master
GiphyOrgasms happen in four stages— excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution. In order for edging to work, you and your partner need to build up to the second stage and then pull back a bit. If you do this at least 3-4 times, you'll be so mentally excited and your genital region will be so off-the-charts stimulated that when you finally do get to stage three, the climax will be truly something to behold!
By the way, two other benefits of edging is it can help men to last longer in bed while giving our vulvas more time to warm up. Yep, edging brings new meaning to good things cum—umm, come—to those who wait.
Apply the “Coital Alignment Technique”
Sooooo…what do you know about the mons Venus (also known as the mons pubis)? In a nutshell, it's the fatty tissue that lays right over your pubic bone. When you and yours decide to get into the coital alignment position, it's a 2.0 version of the missionary position. Instead of your legs being open, they're closed; instead of his legs being closed, they're open. This not only makes it easier for him to move around, but it also makes it possible for him to "grind" on your mons Venus more, which makes it easier for him to reach your clitoris and your G-spot (yay!). The more clitoral and G-spot stimulation you get, the better your orgasms will be.
Make Sure He Can Make You Laugh
If you ask pretty much any woman to share five traits that she wants in a man, a sense of humor is probably gonna be on this list. I like to do research on this kind of stuff rather than just take it at face value and according to some scientific data that I happened on, the reason why we're drawn to funny guys is because it gives us insight into how complementary we are with someone. Not only that but humor is respected as a qualification for a healthy relationship and, we also like being around people who can relieve tension, anxiety and stress from us. Humor has the ability to do that.
The calmness and security that a sense of humor provides outside of the bedroom also works well inside of it because research also reveals that when we're in a relationship with a funny guy, it makes us want to initiate sex and have sex more. It also makes our orgasms that much better. How funny—I mean sexy—is that?
Have More Blended Orgasms
Since we've been talking about how to make your orgasms more intense, let's end on an orgasm note. Blended orgasms are dope because they're all about receiving clitoral and vaginal stimulation at the same time (heaven, right?).
Off top, a sexual position that makes this easy to do is spooning. But if you want to do some more experimenting in this area, you can find a whopping 100 different Kama Sutra positions here. Through a little trial, error and practice, you should be able to find at least 15 different sexual positions that will make it possible for you to get your blending—and intensifying—on.
(Don't say a sistah never gave you anything!)
Featured image by Getty Images
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My First Orgasm Gave Me The Best Sex Of My Life
10 Things You Didn't Know About The Male And Female Orgasm
Self-Pleasure Changed How I Experience Sex
I Only Have One Rule In The Bedroom: I Come First.
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Sheila Rashid's Androgynous Approach To Unisex Clothing Is A Lesson In Embracing Individuality
The ItGirl 100 List is a celebration of 100 Black women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table.
For Sheila Rashid, it all started with some free-hand drawings and a few strokes of paint.
The Chicago-based clothing designer and creative director of Sheila Rashid Brand recalls using her spare time in high school to hand paint designs on t-shirts and distressed hoodies, distributing them to classmates as walking billboards for her art.
Rashid sought to pursue fashion design at Columbia College in Chicago but eventually took the self-taught route to build upon her knack for crafting one-of-a-kind, androgynous pieces.
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Thanks to the mentorship of local designers taking her under their wings, Rashid was able to gain valuable experience in putting together collections and creating patterns; equipping her with them with the necessary skills to pursue her own collections.
After two years of living in New York, Rashid returned home to the Chi and uncovered the unique flair she could offer the city. “I moved to New York after that because I wanted to be in the fashion capital world,” she tells xoNecole. “That's when I really got a leg up. I found myself when I moved back to Chicago after moving to New York.”
For the Midwest native, inspiration comes from her time around creative peers and the city’s notorious winters — known to be a main character in many Chicagoans stories. “It's a different perspective and mindset when I'm making stuff because of the weather here,” she explains. “When we get summer, it’s ‘Summertime Chi’ — it's amazing. It's beautiful. Still, I find myself always making clothes that cater to the winter.”
"I moved to New York after that because I wanted to be in the fashion capital world. That's when I really got a leg up. I found myself when I moved back to Chicago after moving to New York.”
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Many designers have a signature aesthetic or theme in their creations. In Rashid’s design story, dancing between the lines of femininity and masculinity is how she’s been able to distinguish herself within the industry. Her androgynous clothing has garnered the eye of celebrities like Zendaya, Chance the Rapper, WNBA star Sydney Colson, and more — showing her range and approach to designs with inclusivity in mind.
“I think I do reflect my own style,” she says. “When I do make pieces, I'm very tomboyish, androgynous. My work is unisex because I feel like everybody can wear it. I cater to everybody and that's how I try to approach my clothes.” From denim to overalls, and color-drenched outerwear, Rashid has mastered the structure of statement pieces that tell a story.
“Each collection, I never know what's going to be the thing I'm going to focus on. I try to reflect my own style and have fun with the storytelling,” she shares. “I look at it more like it's my art in this small way of expressing myself, so it's not that calculated.”
"My work is unisex because I feel like everybody can wear it. I cater to everybody and that's how I try to approach my clothes."
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Still, if you were able to add up all the moments within Rashid’s 20-year career in design, one theme that has multiplied her into becoming an “ItGirl” is her confidence to take up space within the fashion industry as a queer, Black woman. “Being an ItGirl is about being yourself, loving what you do, finding your niche, and mastering that,” she says.
No matter where you are on your ItGirl journey, Rashid says to always remain persistent and never hesitate to share your art with the world. “Don’t give up. Even if it's something small, finish it and don't be afraid to put it out,” she says, “It's about tackling your own fear of feeling like you have to please everybody, but just please yourself, and that's good enough.”
To learn more about the ItGirl 100 List, view the full list here.
Featured image Courtesy