

October is my favorite month of the year and, already, it’s about to wrap things up. SMDH. Anyway, since we’re about to officially enter into holiday season preparation (you always know when Hallmark starts cranking up all of their romantic holiday movies), with Halloween leading the way, if that happens to be your favorite holiday, I wanted to make sure that I offered up a grown ‘n sexy way to observe it.
You know, just in case you don’t feel like leaving your porch light on for the kiddies this year and/or you don’t want to attend any costume parties, and/or you’d actually prefer to observe it in a bit of a more creative way. For all of these scenarios, I’ve totally got you.
Without further adieu, here are 15 things that can make engaging in some serious sexual fun this Halloween, sexy, scary, and hella erotic — all at the same time, chile.
1. Get Some Candy-Flavored Condoms
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I don’t know if y’all will think this is wild or not but I did — guess how much money was spent on Halloween candy in this country last year alone? A whopping $3.1 BILLION. Not to mention the fact that the average American will consume around three pounds of the sweet stuff, all on their own, on that day alone (goodness!). That’s why, it only seemed fitting that I would start this off with something that was candy-related — well, sort of.
Being that condoms help to prevent pregnancy and STDS, if you plan on having sex, in order to receive lots of “treats” instead of “tricks,” make sure to wrap it up. And if there’s gonna be plenty of oral action going on, make the experience — pardon the pun — sweeter by using a few candy-flavored rubbers.
A condom company that sells affordable ones in discreet packaging is Undercover Condoms. Some of the flavored ones that they offer are located here (or you can put “flavored condoms” into the site’s search field). Also, One Flavor Waves has a 24-count sweetness assortment pack for under twenty bucks on Amazon. You can cop those here.
2. Use Lollipops for Video Sexting
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Wanna get your partner all hot ‘n bothered before he’s even in the same space with you? FaceTime him or send him a video message where you’re doing nothing but playing around with a lollipop in your mouth. It’s a simple thing that can make a really big impact — from head to toe. #wink
3. Invest in a Fog Machine
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When you think of scary music visuals, what’s the first one that comes to your mind? If it’s Michael Jackson’s Thriller, I absolutely wouldn’t be surprised. Actually, I just revisited the long version of it (here); I don’t think I realized that it’s close to 14 minutes. Anyway, it brings its fair share of fog to it which definitely adds some eeriness and mystery to the mix. If you want to add some fog into your bedroom action, for under fifty bucks, you can buy a fog machine (like this one here) that even comes with different colors and a remote control.
4. Light Your Room Up with Some Jack-o'-Lanterns
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I’m always gonna be a fan of sexy lightning, no matter what the occasion. In keeping with the whole Halloween theme, why not carve out some Jack-o’-Lanterns and put some candles inside? Or, you can probably find some ceramic lanterns at your local arts and crafts stores, if you’re tight on time or carving pumpkins isn’t really your thing.
5. Or Some Pumpkin-Scented Soy Candles
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As far as the whole debate about whether sweet potato or pumpkin pie is king, personally, I like them both. That said, when it comes to sex drives, it’s pumpkin that is gonna win out, pretty much by a landslide. That’s because there is quite a bit of data to support that the scent of pumpkin increases blood flow to a man’s genitalia (more on this at the end) while also sexually arousing women in the process. So, if you’re out looking for some candles to create the mood, a pumpkin spice one will only benefit you, your partner, and the night that you have planned.
6. Put a Glow in the Dark Spider Web on Your Bed
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Wanna feel extra entangled with your partner? Get yourself one of those glow-in-the-dark webs that you can put on your bedroom wall or hell, even on your bed. Michael’s has one (at least on their website) that you can get here. I also found a YouTube video that teaches you how to make your own webs out of — get this — beef netting. It seems pretty easy if you wanna DIY it. You can check the instructional video out here.
7. Draw Some Designs on Each Other with Homemade Chocolate Paint
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Now let’s really focus on some sweet stuff for a while — starting with chocolate. As far as Halloween candy goes, I’d be surprised if you were shocked that it continues to be the most popular kind of candy for trick-or-treat purchasers. And, as far as sexual stimulation goes, it’s also a proven aphrodisiac (thanks to all of its antioxidants and its ability to provide a euphoric effect). For all of these reasons and more, it simply wouldn’t be a sexy Halloween without chocolate.
If you want to make things really sweet and sensual, make some chocolate paint that you can, umm, finger-PAINT each other’s bodies with. LOL. I found a YouTube vegan recipe that contains only two ingredients here.
8. Pull Out the Pixy Sticks
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Remember how I referenced lollipops earlier? If once you and your partner are looking at each other, you want to turn each other into a human lollipop, open up some old-fashioned Pixy Stix (remember those? Get some here), pour them on each other’s erogenous zones and lick the contents off. Surely, I don’t need to expound beyond that…right?
9. Tie Each Other Up with Twizzlers Pull ‘n’ Peel Candy
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If you want to be tied up yet, at the same time, not really…experiment with some Twizzler’s Pull ‘n Peel ropes (here). They’re cheap, they’re tasty and they’re a fun alternative to handcuffs — if you’re wanting to take a different approach to being bound (in the best way possible) on Halloween night.
10. Suck on Some Peppermint Patties Before, Well, Sucking
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Back when I wrote, “Here's How To Have Some Really Great Fall-Themed Sex” a few years back, some people actually wrote me about one of my tips: “Use Cinnamon Oil on Each Other’s Genitalia.” They wanted to know if the cinnamon burned. I’ll vouch for the one that I know which is Sun Essential Oils’s Cinnamon Bark (here) — it absolutely does not. It’s warm and sweet to the taste which amps up everything for everybody (feel me?). Personally, I’m a fan of spicy and minty sensations when it comes to oral activities.
So, if mint is your thing, while gargling some minty mouthwash is a lick (pun intended), another route is eating a chocolate-covered mint (like a peppermint patty). The taste will be great for the sucker and the minty sensation will be awesome for the, well, suckee.
11. Don’t Forget About Flavored Oral Gel/Lubricant
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Listen, even if cultivating wetness isn’t an issue for you, still get yourself a tube or two of flavored lubricant; then check out my article, “The Wetter, The Better: 10 Creative Ways To Use Lubricant.” When lube has some flavor to it, it can make kissing body parts, giving oral sex, and all kinds of other stuff…even more…delicious. Aloe Cadabra in Strawberry (here) or Piña Colada (here); Little Genie’s Watermelon (here); Problo in Bubblegum (here) and Banana Dream (here); Oralicious in Peaches and Cream (here), and Exsens’s in Appletini (here) are just a few fan favorites.
12. What You Know About Pipedream BJ Blast Oral Sex Cherry Candy or Candy Love Rings?
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If you want to make (giving) head a bit more exciting, on both the giving and receiving end, what you know about BJ Blast Candy (here)? It’s basically the same thing as Pop Rocks that some of us (cough, cough) tried back in the day to add some flavor (for the giver) and poppin’ sensations (for the receiver). Or if you want to play around with an edible cock ring, those exist too. An elastic candy ring that costs less than ten bucks can be ordered on Amazon here.
13. Try Some Skittles Edibles
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Although I can count on one hand, just how often I’ve had an edible, a super memorable experience consisted of overdoing it on some Skittles Edibles. I laughed for hours. I tried to surf on some friends’ stairs and their dog seemed like a horse that I could ride. Plus, one of them was holding a spatula that you couldn’t pay me to think wasn’t a camera. My point? Listen, when it comes to edibles, you definitely need to follow the instructions (quite seriously and literally); however, when it comes to sex, they can make for a very interesting and semi-intense evening.
That’s why I once wrote, “7 Proven Ways Weed Makes Sex So Much Better.” It’s also why I’m going to give you a link to enter into a special kind of Skittles experience at your own risk. You can order some of them right here.
14. Play Some Scary ASMR (for Background Noise)
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Not too long ago, I linked up with the first guy who I had my “official” first date with, all the way back when I was still in high school. That joker took me to see Silence of the Lambs (if you know, you know). As we were cracking up about how strategic he was being and how scared I was, he said, “You wanna keep a woman in your lap, take her to a scary movie. We ain’t stupid.” CLEARLY. LOL.
He’s not the only one that knows there’s something to this. Some sex therapists recommend fear kinks because being afraid can sometimes be tied to thrill-seeking and that can actually make you hornier. So, if you want to take the whole Halloween energy thing up a few notches, play some scary ASMR videos in the background. YouTube has several.
A playlist that might pique your we-wanna-be-totally-creeped-out interests is located here.
15. Who Knew There Were Halloween-Themed Sex Positions, Chile?
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With as much as I read and write about sex, it honestly never crossed my mind that there are Halloween-themed sex positions. Apparently, there are. Good Housekeeping is one site that published some with (work-appropriate) visuals ‘n all. If you’ve never heard of Bad Cop, Hocus Focus, or Lazy Witch, you can peruse ‘em all right here.
BONUS: Don’t Forget About the Pumpkin and Lavender Oil Blend
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Until everybody on the World Wide Web catches on, I’m gonna KEEP saying that if you want to keep your partner’s erection strong and long, bring a combination of pumpkin and lavender into the mix. Years back, even The New York Times signed onto the fact that it helps to increase blood flow to a man’s penile region by as much as 40 freakin’ percent! It’s become so popular out in these streets, that you can even purchase the scent combo in roll-on form. One place you can get it is via an Etsy store here.
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There you have it, horny Halloween fans. Get yourself a sexy ass lingerie outfit and you’ll be set to have the best Halloween ever! Enjoy, sis. EN-JOY.
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'Sistas' Star Skyh Black On The Power Of Hypnotherapy & Emotional Vulnerability For Men
In this insightful episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Sistas star Skyh Black, as he opened up about his journey of emotional growth, resilience, and self-discovery. The episode touches on emotional availability, self-worth, masculinity, and the importance of therapy in overcoming personal struggles.
Skyh Black on Emotional Availability & Love
On Emotional Availability & Vulnerability
“My wife and I wouldn't be where we are today if both of us weren't emotionally available,” he shared about his wife and Sistas co-star KJ Smith, highlighting the value of vulnerability and emotional openness in a relationship. His approach to masculinity stands in contrast to the traditional, stoic ideals. Skyh is not afraid to embrace softness as part of his emotional expression.
On Overcoming Self-Doubt & Worthiness Issues
Skyh reflected on the self-doubt and worthiness issues that he struggled with, especially early in his career. He opens up about his time in Los Angeles, living what he calls the “LA struggle story”—in a one-bedroom with three roommates—and being homeless three times over the span of 16 years. “I always had this self-sabotaging thought process,” Skyh said. “For me, I feel therapy is essential, period. I have a regular therapist and I go to a hypnotherapist.”
How Therapy Helped Him Heal From Self-Doubt
On Hypnotherapy & Empowering Self-Acceptance
Skyh’s journey is a testament to the power of tapping into self-development despite life’s struggles and being open to growth. “I had to submit to the fact that God was doing good in my life, and that I'm worthy of it. I had a worthiness issue and I did not realize that. So, that’s what the hypnotherapy did. It brought me back to the core. What is wrong so that I can fix it?”
Watch the full podcast episode below:
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Quinta Brunson Gets Real About Divorce, Boundaries & Becoming
Quinta Brunson is the woman who chooses herself, even when the world is watching. And in her June 30 cover story for Bustle, she gives us a rare glimpse into the soft, centered place she's navigating her life from now. From leading one of television's most beloved series in the last decade to quietly moving through life shifts, the creator of Abbott Elementary is walking through a personal evolution and doing so with intention, grace, and a firm grip on her boundaries.
Back in March, the 35-year-old filed for divorce from Kevin Jay Anik after nearly three years of marriage, citing "irreconcilable differences." The news hit the headlines of news outlets fast, but Quinta hadn't planned to announce their dissolution to the public so quickly.
Quinta Brunson On Divorce, Public Scrutiny & Sacred Boundaries
"I remember seeing people be like, ‘She announced her divorce,’" she told Bustle. “I didn’t announce anything. I think people have this idea that people in the public eye want the public to know their every move. None of us do. I promise you. No one wants [everyone] to know when you buy a house, when you move, when a major change happens in your personal life. It’s just that that’s public record information."
In regards to her private moves becoming tabloid fodder, Quinta continued, "I hated that. I hate all of it."
"I Am An Artist First": Quinta On Cutting Her Hair & Reclaiming Herself
Still, the diminutive phenom holds her crown high in the face of change and is returning to the essence of who she is, especially as an artist. "Cutting my hair reminded me that I am an artist first. I want to feel things. I want to make choices. I want to be a person, and not just stuck in having to be a certain way for business." It's giving sacred rebirth. It's giving self-liberation. It's especially giving main character energy.
And while the headlines keep spinning their narratives, the one that Quinta is focused on is her own. For her, slowing down and nourishing herself in ways that feed her is what matters. "It’s a transitional time. I think it’s true for me and my personal life, and it’s how I feel about myself, my career, and the world," Quinta shared with Bustle. “I feel very serious about focusing on watering my own gardens, taking care of myself and the people around me who I actually interact with day-to-day."
That includes indulging in simple rituals that ground her like "making myself a meal" which has become "really, really important to me."
That spirit of agency doesn't stop at the personal. In her professional world, as the creator, executive producer, and lead actress of the critically-acclaimed Abbott Elementary, Quinta understands the weight her choices carry, both on- and off-screen. She revealed to Bustle, "People used to tell me at the beginning of this that the No. 1 on the call sheet sets the tone, and the producer sets the tone — and I’m both of those roles."
She continued, "I understand now, after doing this for four years, how important it was that I set the tone that I did when we first started."
Quinta doesn't just lead, she understands the importance of curating the energy of any space she enters. Even amid a season of shifts and shedding, her power speaks loudly. Sometimes that power looks like quiet resistance. Sometimes that power is soft leadership.
And sometimes that power looks like cutting your hair and taking back your name in rooms that have forgotten you were an artist long before you were a brand.
Read Quinta's cover story on Bustle here to witness the fullness of Quinta's becoming.
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