

October is my favorite month of the year and, already, it’s about to wrap things up. SMDH. Anyway, since we’re about to officially enter into holiday season preparation (you always know when Hallmark starts cranking up all of their romantic holiday movies), with Halloween leading the way, if that happens to be your favorite holiday, I wanted to make sure that I offered up a grown ‘n sexy way to observe it.
You know, just in case you don’t feel like leaving your porch light on for the kiddies this year and/or you don’t want to attend any costume parties, and/or you’d actually prefer to observe it in a bit of a more creative way. For all of these scenarios, I’ve totally got you.
Without further adieu, here are 15 things that can make engaging in some serious sexual fun this Halloween, sexy, scary, and hella erotic — all at the same time, chile.
1. Get Some Candy-Flavored Condoms
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I don’t know if y’all will think this is wild or not but I did — guess how much money was spent on Halloween candy in this country last year alone? A whopping $3.1 BILLION. Not to mention the fact that the average American will consume around three pounds of the sweet stuff, all on their own, on that day alone (goodness!). That’s why, it only seemed fitting that I would start this off with something that was candy-related — well, sort of.
Being that condoms help to prevent pregnancy and STDS, if you plan on having sex, in order to receive lots of “treats” instead of “tricks,” make sure to wrap it up. And if there’s gonna be plenty of oral action going on, make the experience — pardon the pun — sweeter by using a few candy-flavored rubbers.
A condom company that sells affordable ones in discreet packaging is Undercover Condoms. Some of the flavored ones that they offer are located here (or you can put “flavored condoms” into the site’s search field). Also, One Flavor Waves has a 24-count sweetness assortment pack for under twenty bucks on Amazon. You can cop those here.
2. Use Lollipops for Video Sexting
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Wanna get your partner all hot ‘n bothered before he’s even in the same space with you? FaceTime him or send him a video message where you’re doing nothing but playing around with a lollipop in your mouth. It’s a simple thing that can make a really big impact — from head to toe. #wink
3. Invest in a Fog Machine
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When you think of scary music visuals, what’s the first one that comes to your mind? If it’s Michael Jackson’s Thriller, I absolutely wouldn’t be surprised. Actually, I just revisited the long version of it (here); I don’t think I realized that it’s close to 14 minutes. Anyway, it brings its fair share of fog to it which definitely adds some eeriness and mystery to the mix. If you want to add some fog into your bedroom action, for under fifty bucks, you can buy a fog machine (like this one here) that even comes with different colors and a remote control.
4. Light Your Room Up with Some Jack-o'-Lanterns
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I’m always gonna be a fan of sexy lightning, no matter what the occasion. In keeping with the whole Halloween theme, why not carve out some Jack-o’-Lanterns and put some candles inside? Or, you can probably find some ceramic lanterns at your local arts and crafts stores, if you’re tight on time or carving pumpkins isn’t really your thing.
5. Or Some Pumpkin-Scented Soy Candles
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As far as the whole debate about whether sweet potato or pumpkin pie is king, personally, I like them both. That said, when it comes to sex drives, it’s pumpkin that is gonna win out, pretty much by a landslide. That’s because there is quite a bit of data to support that the scent of pumpkin increases blood flow to a man’s genitalia (more on this at the end) while also sexually arousing women in the process. So, if you’re out looking for some candles to create the mood, a pumpkin spice one will only benefit you, your partner, and the night that you have planned.
6. Put a Glow in the Dark Spider Web on Your Bed
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Wanna feel extra entangled with your partner? Get yourself one of those glow-in-the-dark webs that you can put on your bedroom wall or hell, even on your bed. Michael’s has one (at least on their website) that you can get here. I also found a YouTube video that teaches you how to make your own webs out of — get this — beef netting. It seems pretty easy if you wanna DIY it. You can check the instructional video out here.
7. Draw Some Designs on Each Other with Homemade Chocolate Paint
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Now let’s really focus on some sweet stuff for a while — starting with chocolate. As far as Halloween candy goes, I’d be surprised if you were shocked that it continues to be the most popular kind of candy for trick-or-treat purchasers. And, as far as sexual stimulation goes, it’s also a proven aphrodisiac (thanks to all of its antioxidants and its ability to provide a euphoric effect). For all of these reasons and more, it simply wouldn’t be a sexy Halloween without chocolate.
If you want to make things really sweet and sensual, make some chocolate paint that you can, umm, finger-PAINT each other’s bodies with. LOL. I found a YouTube vegan recipe that contains only two ingredients here.
8. Pull Out the Pixy Sticks
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Remember how I referenced lollipops earlier? If once you and your partner are looking at each other, you want to turn each other into a human lollipop, open up some old-fashioned Pixy Stix (remember those? Get some here), pour them on each other’s erogenous zones and lick the contents off. Surely, I don’t need to expound beyond that…right?
9. Tie Each Other Up with Twizzlers Pull ‘n’ Peel Candy
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If you want to be tied up yet, at the same time, not really…experiment with some Twizzler’s Pull ‘n Peel ropes (here). They’re cheap, they’re tasty and they’re a fun alternative to handcuffs — if you’re wanting to take a different approach to being bound (in the best way possible) on Halloween night.
10. Suck on Some Peppermint Patties Before, Well, Sucking
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Back when I wrote, “Here's How To Have Some Really Great Fall-Themed Sex” a few years back, some people actually wrote me about one of my tips: “Use Cinnamon Oil on Each Other’s Genitalia.” They wanted to know if the cinnamon burned. I’ll vouch for the one that I know which is Sun Essential Oils’s Cinnamon Bark (here) — it absolutely does not. It’s warm and sweet to the taste which amps up everything for everybody (feel me?). Personally, I’m a fan of spicy and minty sensations when it comes to oral activities.
So, if mint is your thing, while gargling some minty mouthwash is a lick (pun intended), another route is eating a chocolate-covered mint (like a peppermint patty). The taste will be great for the sucker and the minty sensation will be awesome for the, well, suckee.
11. Don’t Forget About Flavored Oral Gel/Lubricant
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Listen, even if cultivating wetness isn’t an issue for you, still get yourself a tube or two of flavored lubricant; then check out my article, “The Wetter, The Better: 10 Creative Ways To Use Lubricant.” When lube has some flavor to it, it can make kissing body parts, giving oral sex, and all kinds of other stuff…even more…delicious. Aloe Cadabra in Strawberry (here) or Piña Colada (here); Little Genie’s Watermelon (here); Problo in Bubblegum (here) and Banana Dream (here); Oralicious in Peaches and Cream (here), and Exsens’s in Appletini (here) are just a few fan favorites.
12. What You Know About Pipedream BJ Blast Oral Sex Cherry Candy or Candy Love Rings?
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If you want to make (giving) head a bit more exciting, on both the giving and receiving end, what you know about BJ Blast Candy (here)? It’s basically the same thing as Pop Rocks that some of us (cough, cough) tried back in the day to add some flavor (for the giver) and poppin’ sensations (for the receiver). Or if you want to play around with an edible cock ring, those exist too. An elastic candy ring that costs less than ten bucks can be ordered on Amazon here.
13. Try Some Skittles Edibles
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Although I can count on one hand, just how often I’ve had an edible, a super memorable experience consisted of overdoing it on some Skittles Edibles. I laughed for hours. I tried to surf on some friends’ stairs and their dog seemed like a horse that I could ride. Plus, one of them was holding a spatula that you couldn’t pay me to think wasn’t a camera. My point? Listen, when it comes to edibles, you definitely need to follow the instructions (quite seriously and literally); however, when it comes to sex, they can make for a very interesting and semi-intense evening.
That’s why I once wrote, “7 Proven Ways Weed Makes Sex So Much Better.” It’s also why I’m going to give you a link to enter into a special kind of Skittles experience at your own risk. You can order some of them right here.
14. Play Some Scary ASMR (for Background Noise)
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Not too long ago, I linked up with the first guy who I had my “official” first date with, all the way back when I was still in high school. That joker took me to see Silence of the Lambs (if you know, you know). As we were cracking up about how strategic he was being and how scared I was, he said, “You wanna keep a woman in your lap, take her to a scary movie. We ain’t stupid.” CLEARLY. LOL.
He’s not the only one that knows there’s something to this. Some sex therapists recommend fear kinks because being afraid can sometimes be tied to thrill-seeking and that can actually make you hornier. So, if you want to take the whole Halloween energy thing up a few notches, play some scary ASMR videos in the background. YouTube has several.
A playlist that might pique your we-wanna-be-totally-creeped-out interests is located here.
15. Who Knew There Were Halloween-Themed Sex Positions, Chile?
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With as much as I read and write about sex, it honestly never crossed my mind that there are Halloween-themed sex positions. Apparently, there are. Good Housekeeping is one site that published some with (work-appropriate) visuals ‘n all. If you’ve never heard of Bad Cop, Hocus Focus, or Lazy Witch, you can peruse ‘em all right here.
BONUS: Don’t Forget About the Pumpkin and Lavender Oil Blend
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Until everybody on the World Wide Web catches on, I’m gonna KEEP saying that if you want to keep your partner’s erection strong and long, bring a combination of pumpkin and lavender into the mix. Years back, even The New York Times signed onto the fact that it helps to increase blood flow to a man’s penile region by as much as 40 freakin’ percent! It’s become so popular out in these streets, that you can even purchase the scent combo in roll-on form. One place you can get it is via an Etsy store here.
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There you have it, horny Halloween fans. Get yourself a sexy ass lingerie outfit and you’ll be set to have the best Halloween ever! Enjoy, sis. EN-JOY.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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I’ve gotta say that, for the most part, my friends are pretty damn chill. There is one (major) exception, though — and it’s an odd one. Even after all these years and countless times of me giving them the same answer, if there is a time when they think they are my mama, it’s when they see an email come through at an odd hour of the night. Then, all of a sudden, here they come asking me when do I get sleep if I’m emailing at (say) three in the morning.
Again, the answer never changes because, if there is one thing that Shellie Reneé Warren is gonna get, it’s 6-8 (sometimes nine) hours of sleep. However, since my chronotype (check out “Ever Wonder What Personality Traits Make Someone A 'Morning Person'?”) means that I like/prefer to write in the wee hours of the morning, sometimes I will sleep for the night for five hours and take a nap in the day. And y’all, that is just fine with me because I am well aware of the fact that napping does everything from give me more energy, heighten my alertness and even make me more creative to decrease stress levels, strengthen immunity, and reduce my chances of experiencing a heart attack or stroke.
My problem is I will oftentimes go “overboard” with my daytime zzz’s. What I mean by that is, in order to get the most out of a nap, they say thatyou shouldn’t sleep for longer than 25 minutes or so; otherwise, you could wake up feeling sluggish (I don’t but…). Also, it can make resting, soundly, at night a bit of a struggle.
So, what are you saying, Shellie? We should get quickies in? Yeah. And it’s funny that the word “quickie” would come up because just like a sex quickie can do wonders for you (and it can — check out “12 Super Solid Reasons To Have A Quickie Every Single Day”), it’s a full-circle moment when I say that something that can improve the quality of your sex life is to have a power nap (a nap that lasts between 10-30 minutes).
Wanna know how the two things correlate? Honestly, it’s no secret that sleep and sex work together to optimize both (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”). Today, though, we’re going to tap into how a nap, specifically, can have you partaking in some of the best sex that you’ve experienced in a minute. I’ll explain.
Naps Reduce Stress
If you’re feeling super stressed out right now, you are not alone. There is plenty of data out here that says that most of us are stressed for at least a couple of reasons at a time — and that can impact your sexual health on a few levels. For one thing, it can bring about feelings of depression and/or anxiety. Stress can also throw your hormone levels off (including your cycle) which can weaken your libido. Stress can make you want to put distance between you and your partner (yes, literally).
Stress can also make it challenging to get aroused or to have an orgasm. And just what can help to decrease stress? Taking a nap. Since sleep has a way of helping you to “get off of the clock” and relax a bit, that can lower your stress levels and “reset” your body so that you are calmer — and that, in turn, can do wonders for your sex drive and ultimately your sex life.
Naps Improve Your Mood
There is one person in my life, and fairly 80 percent of the time, she’s in a super good mood. Oh, but let that girl go without sleep, and…who is this woman? LOL. There’s research behind why this happens. When a person is sleep-deprived, it messes with their brain chemicals, and that can amplify emotions like anger, restlessness and sadness. In fact, one study revealed that people who had their sleep disrupted throughout the night, they ended up having their positive outlook on life reduced by about 30 percent.
And geeze, who wants to have sex when they’re not feeling very good? Anyway, since serotonin is a neurotransmitter that helps to regulate your moods, your sleep patterns, and your libido and sleep is what helps to keep it in balance — by taking a nap, not only can it help you to feel better, it can also increase your desire for sex (it can also build up your endurance which is also…sexually beneficial).
Naps Increase Your Focus and Concentration
Something that some of my clients bring up is how, when it comes to having sex, sometimes the flesh is willing while the spirit is weak because, although the desire for intimacy is there, so much is going on that they aren’t able to get still enough to focus on experiencing copulation with their partner. This also tracks because, when you don’t have enough rest, your brain finds itself not working in harmony and that can make it hard to do everything from approaching life with a sense of flexibility to making necessary decisions.
Certain data also reveal that a lack of rest can cause you to have a really poor attention span and not process things in context (the more you know). So, if you really want to get some yet it’s hard for you to focus long enough to make it happen, ask your bae to lie down with you and take a nap. Between the sleep and the snuggling (check out “Fall's Coming: 8 Wonderful Health Benefits Of Cuddling”) — you may wake up with your mind and body totally on the same page. #wink
Naps Can Make You Feel Better About Your Body
Even if, overall, you feel really good about your body, I think that we all have moments when we feel less attractive than others — and who wants to have sex when they don’t really feel…very sexy? Well, something else that sleep, in general, can do is increase your confidence in your body.
For one thing, if you want to lose a few pounds, sleep can actually make that happen by helping your body metabolize the glucose (sugar) that’s in it so that you can better manage your appetite. Other studies go on to share that since sleep deprivation can impact one’s mental health and emotional stability in a negative way, of course, getting enough rest would increase body positivity.
Shoot, science even goes so far as to say that insomnia can cause people to have an elevated level of dissatisfaction when it comes to their body image. Don’t take their word for it, though. Look in the mirror before a nap. Then look in a mirror after waking up from me. Do you feel better? I’d be surprised if you don’t.
Makes Your Brain Bigger…Which Could Make Your Orgasms Better
I saved the best for last by design. Now if you’re wondering how in the world a nap can improve (and possibly increase) your orgasms — oh, there is a method to the madness…trust. For starters, the saying that your biggest sex organ is your brain? That isn’t a myth. Long story less long, the brain is what houses your central nervous system and that is what controls how men and women sexually function (yes, literally).
And since the brain also releases feel-good chemicals like dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin during sex and brain activity significantly increases in women during sexual activity (especially right before she orgasms) — well, would it trip you out to know that when you take a nap, your brain actually expands? A bigger brain (that’s healthy) can potentially intensify your sexual experiences (and your climaxes) — and who doesn’t want that to go down?
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Like I said earlier, I never have to be convinced to get a nap in. However, if your sex life has been a bit stagnant lately, you’ve been feeling a little sluggish and you’re not sure what to do — I’m hoping that a nap can get you right.
There’s enough science to prove that it can. All you need to do is give it a shot.
Now where’s your pillow and sleep mask, chile?
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