A few days ago, I was talking to someone who is younger than I am yet has a very old mind when it comes to music (and true music appreciation) about which 90s year had the best R&B (don’t attempt this conversation at home unless you really know what you are talking about, by the way).
Although I have a deep affinity for 1995 (thanks to songs like Groove Theory’s “Tell Me”, Faith Evans’s “Soon As I Get Home”, D’Angelo’s “Lady”, Jon B’s “Someone to Love” and LL Cool J’s “Hey Lover” whether the LP or single dropped that year — don’t play with me — LOL), my friend brought up a valid point about 1997: “Nice & Slow” (Usher), “Butta Love” (Next), "All the Things (Your Man Won't Do)" (Joe), “I Gotta Be” (Jagged Edge) and a song that gets a special shout-out in this piece all came out that year.
What Is a Sneaky Link?
Xscape’s “My Little Secret” gets a true honorable mention here because, when it comes to the topic of sneaky links, it damn near could be the theme song. And I say that because, as pretty much all of us know, a sneaky link is a hook-up and/or romantic relationship that is kept on the extreme low.
Why? There are a billion reasons — today, though, I’m going to share 10. And because I agree with what a wise man once said when he stated that once more than one person knows a particular secret, it ceases to be one, this time, I’m not even using middle names. Nah, I’m going to define these ladies and their “sneaky link stories” another way since they were nice enough to share with the world what their hook-up hush-hush is…and why it happens to be that way for them.
Push play to the Xscape song and dive in.
10 Women Share Their Sneaky Link Stories
1. “Married to One Man. Sprung on Another.” 42.
“I’m going to sound like a hypocrite here but sometimes we go through things to help other people — and if you are going through something with your husband, never forget that you aren’t ‘single’ until you are divorced. Back when my husband and I were having some serious issues, we separated for almost a year and barely even spoke beyond bills. I met a man then who was the best sex that I ever had in my entire life. I didn’t expect my husband and myself to consider reconciling but we’re in counseling now — and I am still sleeping with the other guy. I wish I could tell you that I have intentions of stopping but I can’t.
"One reason is because the sex really is just that good and I didn’t realize how much I had been missing out on. Another reason is because I’m not sure if my husband and I are getting back together; we seem to have the same issues over and over. I do regret being in a commitment with one man and totally strung out on another. I don’t recommend it. It will keep you up at night — one way or another, girl.”
“Broke Up with My Ex. Except Sexually.” 37.
Giphy“My semi-toxic confession is my ex and I don’t get along anywhere else BUT the bedroom. In there? You would think that we were soulmates for life! It’s passionate and nasty and lasts for hours — I’m not exaggerating! The wildest thing about it is, we’ve been having sex, off and on now, since college.
"Even when I’m seeing someone or he’s seeing someone, we find a way to have sex. It would be a lot worse if we lived in the same city but we don’t. All these years later, we still try to see each other 4-7 times a year — pretty much once a season and then for a real long weekend or even a week in the summer if we can pull it off…and I don’t see it ending any time soon.”
3. “I Lost My Virginity Two Years Ago. Only ‘He’ Knows It, Though.” 25.
“My virginity is kind of my ‘brand’. I didn’t mean for that to happen but virgins kind of stick out like a sore thumb these days and since I never kept it a secret — my family, my church and even my friends see me as a Black Mother Teresa. That’s why I haven’t told anyone that I lost my virginity a little over two years ago and I’m still sleeping with that person. It’s not just a ‘sex thing’ but I choose to keep our relationship private because if people knew that I’ve been seeing someone for a long time, either they are going to pressure me into marriage or start asking if I’m a virgin still. Keeping it all a secret just makes my life easier.”
4. “I Shouldn’t Be Sleeping with My Boss…BUT…” 38.
Giphy“I’m sleeping with my boss, so it goes without saying why it’s a secret. Let me explain how it happened: When we first started having sex, we both had the same position. We used to joke at our desks and then meet up for drinks after work. One night, we had dinner and probably too much to drink and that led to us getting a hotel room. Girl, that man. About six months later, he got a promotion and since neither of us wanted to stop having sex with each other…we haven’t. A part of the thrill is the sex. Another part is sneaking around. I think that’s what lures most people into having a sneaky link, if you ask me.”
5. “My Friends Have Been Trying to Set Me Up for Years…” 46.
“I am a very private person; I always have been. There is no one in my life who knows how many people I’ve been with and the partners who they assume about, I’ve never shared any sexual details. My last serious relationship ended when I was about 41 and my friends have been trying to set me up ever since because they don’t want me to be ‘lonely’ or ‘dry.’ Little do they know, I am neither! I’ve been having sex with a friend of mine since the break-up and I don’t see it ending any time soon — mostly because he thinks the same way that I do. Ladies, if you don’t want a relationship, find a monogamous sex partner. It’s one of the best things that has ever happened to me!”
6. “Folks Think I’m Abstinent…but I’m Not.” 26.
Giphy“I made the announcement three years ago that I was going to take a break from sex — and I did…for about 14 months. I’ve been having sex ever since but I haven’t let anyone know that. It hasn’t been just one guy either. I have a ‘steady two’ because they both are good at different things. It’s not like I’m lying about it or anything. Whenever the subject of me and having sex come up, folks say something like, ‘She’s abstinent, she doesn’t count’ — and I just don’t correct them. Private sex is the best sex. I should’ve learned that lesson a long time ago.”
7. “If It’s Mostly Head, Does That Count?” 44.
“My sneaky link situation is a little odd…I guess. It’s a guy who I had sex with a few years ago. The sex was okay but, GIRL, his head game?!
"It’s kind of funny that he feels the same way about me and so, we do have sex sometimes but we mostly meet up for oral purposes. It’s like an addiction at this point because we try to link up no less than a few times a month. It doesn’t matter what else we have going on, we’re going to get that head in. And no, no one knows about it. I don’t see why they ever should.”
8. “My Friend’s Ex Has Been My Next…” 27.
“Shellie, you’d better not say my name. I’m not playing! Yes, I have been having sex with a friend’s ex — but it’s not an ex-husband or fiancé; it’s someone from many years ago and that’s all I’m going to say about that because I don’t want anyone to piece it together. And before anyone reading about this starts, she actually knows — she’s the only one who does, though. She’s married now and couldn’t care less. She said that the sex was her deal-breaker with him and I think the sex is amazing. You know what they say about one man’s junk…”
9. “No Matter What, It Always Comes Back to Him…in the Bedroom.” 33.
“I would think we all get that when a woman says that a man has some good d-ck, she’s not just talking about his penis. The insane thing about my sneaky link is he’s the smallest I’ve been with and still the best sex that I’ve had in my entire life! He takes his time, his dirty talk game is on-point, his stamina is crazy and he’s a master at getting that thing right back up. We started having sex five years ago, been dating for three and have been still gettin’ that thing in since because no man knows me like he does. Keeping it private isn’t behind a scandal or anything. I just think that adds to the allure of it all.”
10. “Why Is My Sex Life ANY of Your Business?” 40.
Giphy“’Sneaky link’. That’s cute. These kids. I never saw it as ‘sneaking’ so much as ‘Why is my sex life anyone’s damn business?’ I guess when you’re in a relationship, people assume that you’re sexually active. For me, a lot of the men I’ve dated, I’ve never had sex with them and some of the people you’d least expect, we have sexual history. So, based on that, I technically have a sneaky link. You never see us out but we spend plenty of quality time together. It’s a sexy secret. I like it that way.”
___
Oh, sneaky links. As someone who has had my fair share of ‘em back in the day, they definitely aren’t a monolith — as you can very well see.
My advice? Secrets are seductive — there is no doubt about that. You’re grown, so just make sure that your why overrides the risks involved. Because a secret exposed can be a secret that costs.
Be safe. Be realistic. Be careful. Rinse and repeat.
If you’re gonna be sneaky, be smart. Amen? Exactly.
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Featured image by Giphy
RELATED
So, we handpicked one hundred It Girls who embody that palpable It Factor moving through us as young Black women, the kind of motion lighting up the world both IRL and across the internet.
It Girl 100 became xoNecole’s most successful program, with the hashtag organically reaching more than forty million impressions on Instagram in just twenty-four hours. Yes, it caught on like wildfire because we celebrated some of the most brilliant and influential GenZennial women of color setting trends and shaping culture. But more than that, it resonated because the women we celebrated felt seen.
Many were already known in their industries for keeping this generation fly and lit, but rarely received recognition or flowers. It Girl 100 became a safe space to be uplifted, and for us as Black women to bask in what felt like an era of our brilliance, beauty, and boundless influence on full display.
And then, almost overnight, it was as if the rug was pulled from under us as Black women, as the It Girls of the world.
Our much-needed, much-deserved season of ease and soft living quickly metamorphosed into a time of self-preservation and survival. Our motion and economic progression seemed strategically slowed, our light under siege.
The air feels heavier now. The headlines colder. Our Black girl magic is being picked apart and politicized for simply existing.
With that climate shift, as we prepare to launch our second annual It Girl 100 honoree list, our team has had to dig deep on the purpose and intention behind this year’s list. Knowing the spirit of It Girl 100 is about motion, sauce, strides, and progression, how do we celebrate amid uncertainty and collective grief when the juice feels like it is being squeezed out of us?
As we wrestled with that question, we were reminded that this tension isn’t new. Black women have always had to find joy in the midst of struggle, to create light even in the darkest corners. We have carried the weight of scrutiny for generations, expected to be strong, to serve, to smile through the sting. But this moment feels different. It feels deeply personal.
We are living at the intersection of liberation and backlash. We are learning to take off our capes, to say no when we are tired, to embrace softness without apology.
And somehow, the world has found new ways to punish us for it.
In lifestyle, women like Kayla Nicole and Ayesha Curry have been ridiculed for daring to choose themselves. Tracee Ellis Ross was labeled bitter for speaking her truth about love. Meghan Markle, still, cannot breathe without critique.
In politics, Kamala Harris, Letitia James, and Jasmine Crockett are dragged through the mud for standing tall in rooms not built for them.
In sports, Angel Reese, Coco Gauff, and Taylor Townsend have been reminded that even excellence will not shield you from racism or judgment.
In business, visionaries like Diarrha N’Diaye-Mbaye and Melissa Butler are fighting to keep their dreams alive in an economy that too often forgets us first.
Even our icons, Beyoncé, Serena, and SZA, have faced criticism simply for evolving beyond the boxes society tried to keep them in.
From everyday women to cultural phenoms, the pattern is the same. Our light is being tested.
And yet, somehow, through it all, we are still showing up as that girl, and that deserves to be celebrated.
Because while the world debates our worth, we keep raising our value. And that proof is all around us.
This year alone, Naomi Osaka returned from motherhood and mental health challenges to reach the semifinals of the US Open. A’ja Wilson claimed another MVP, reminding us that beauty and dominance can coexist. Brandy and Monica are snatching our edges on tour. Kahlana Barfield Brown sold out her new line in the face of a retailer that had been canceled. And Melissa Butler’s company, The Lip Bar, is projecting a forty percent surge in sales.
We are no longer defining strength by how much pain we can endure. We are defining it by the unbreakable light we continue to radiate.
We are the women walking our daily steps and also continuing to run solid businesses. We are growing in love, taking solo trips, laughing until it hurts, raising babies and ideas, drinking our green juice, and praying our peace back into existence.
We are rediscovering the joy of rest and realizing that softness is not weakness, it is strategy.
And through it all, we continue to lift one another. Emma Grede is creating seats at the table. Valeisha Butterfield has started a fund for jobless Black women. Arian Simone is leading in media with fearless conviction. We are pouring into each other in ways the world rarely sees but always feels.
So yes, we are in the midst of societal warfare. Yes, we are being tested. Yes, we are facing economic strain, political targeting, and public scrutiny. But even war cannot dim a light that is divinely ours.
And we are still shining.
And we are still softening.
And we are still creating.
And we are still It.
That is the quiet magic of Black womanhood, our ability to hold both truth and triumph in the same breath, to say yes, and to life’s contradictions.
It is no coincidence that this year, as SheaMoisture embraces the message “Yes, And,” they stand beside us as partners in celebrating this class of It Girls. Because that phrase, those two simple words, capture the very essence of this moment.
Yes, we are tired. And we are still rising.
Yes, we are questioned. And we are the answer.
Yes, we are bruised. And we are still beautiful.
This year’s It Girl 100 is more than a list. It is a love letter to every Black woman who dares to live out loud in a world that would rather she whisper. This year’s class is living proof of “Yes, And,” women who are finding ways to thrive and to heal, to build and to rest, to lead and to love, all at once.
It is proof that our joy is not naive, our success not accidental. It is the reminder that our light has never needed permission.
So without further ado, we celebrate the It Girl 100 Class of 2025–2026.
We celebrate the millions of us who keep doing it with grace, grit, and glory.
Because despite it all, we still shine.
Because we are still her.
Because we are still IT, girl.
Meet all 100 women shaping culture in the It Girl 100 Class of 2025. View the complete list of honorees here.
Featured image by xoStaff
This year's It Girl 100 is a mosaic of brilliance, spotlighting entrepreneurs, cultural disruptors, beauty visionaries, and boundary-pushing creatives who embody the spirit of "Yes, And." This digital celebration honors the women who embrace every facet of themselves, proving you can chase the bag and still honor your desire to live life softly.
Here's the roll call for xoNecole's It Girl 100 Class of 2025: Viral Voices.
Content Creator Eni Popoola
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Eni Popoola
Her Handle: @enipopoola
Her Title: Content Creator
Who's That It Girl: Eni Popoola is the visionary creative behind beautifully cinematic content that fuses fashion and feeling. We love her for proving that elegance and emotion can exist in every frame.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes, I'm not afraid to pivot and the best is still yet to come."
Content Creator Jessie Woo
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Jessie Woo
Her Handle: @thejessiewoo
Her Title: Content Creator
Who's That It Girl: Jessie Woo is joy personified, a multi-talented entertainer and fearless truth-teller. We celebrate her for using humor, music, and faith to create content that heals through laughter.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes. I’m a force — and that’s why I create my own lanes instead of waiting for one to open."
Media Personality, Founder and Host Kayla Nicole
Credit: Malcolm Roberson
Kayla Nicole
Her Handle: @kaylanicole
Her Title: Media Personality; Founder, Tribe Therepē; Host, Welcome to the Pre-Game
Who's That It Girl: Kayla Nicole merges style, storytelling, and self-awareness like no other. We celebrate her for being the friend in our feeds who reminds us to show up fully, flaws, fire, and all.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes, I’m curating conversations on my podcast The Pre-Game, and cultivating community with my wellness brand Tribe Therepē."
Creator and Entrepreneur Simi Muhumuza
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Simi Muhumuza
Her Handle: @simimoonlight
Her Title: Creator and Entrepreneur
Who's That It Girl: Simi is a writer, and creative based in Brooklyn, NY. She focuses on style, lifestyle and wellness.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes, and I’m reaching even higher."
Creator Kiera Please
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Kiera Please
Her Handle: @kieraplease
Her Title: Creator
Who's That It Girl: Kiera Please is a creator, voice actress, and artist whose creativity knows no bounds. With her unique mix of style, cosplay, and storytelling, she’s built a global fan base that celebrates self-expression.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes, I’m just weird girl and I’ll just keep getting weirder."
Content Creator Zaynah Bear
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Zaynah Bear
Her Handle: @madame_zay
Her Title: Content Creator
Who's That It Girl: Zaynah Bear is a social media content creator known for her cartoon-style comedic storytelling that blends humor with everyday relatability. Her unique approach to creating content builds strong audience connections and keeps her community coming back for more laughs.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes, I'm boldly Black and beautifully quirky, owning every shade of my uniqueness."
Social Media Consultant and Creative Candace Marie
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Candace Marie
Her Handle: @marie_mag_
Her Title: Social Media Consultant and Creative
Who's That It Girl: Candace Marie is a luxury social-media strategist and founder of Black In Corporate. A former Parsons professor, she’s worked with fashion powerhouses like PRADA and Victoria Beckham, helping shape a more inclusive industry.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes, I’m grounded in strategy & storytelling—and I’m creating pathways for the future of influence."
Model and Content Creator Quenlin Blackwell
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Quenlin Blackwell
Her Handle: @quenblackwell
Her Title: Model and Content Creator
Who's That It Girl: Quenlin Blackwell is digital dynamite, witty, unfiltered, and wildly creative. We celebrate her for turning chaos into comedy and self-expression into art that connects millions.
Content Creator and TV Host Kamie Crawford
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Kamie Crawford
Her Handle: @kamiecrawford
Her Title: Content Creator and TV Host
Who's That It Girl: Kamie Crawford’s presence is as commanding as her compassion. We love her for being a media personality who advocates for confidence, self-worth, and love rooted in realness.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes, I'm that girl and I’ve had to heal parts of me to become her."
Author and Podcaster Sesali Bowen
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Sesali Bowen
Her Handle: @badfatblackgirl
Her Title: Author and Podcaster
Who's That It Girl: Sesali was born and raised on the Southside of Chicago and coined trap feminism. During her time as an entertainment writer for Refinery29 she was one of the architects of Unbothered, their sub brand for Black women. As a brand strategist and copywriter she’s worked with Netflix, Onyx Collective, and more.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes, I said it and I’m standing on it."
Co-Host of 'Pour Minds' Podcast Drea Nicole
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Drea Nicole
Her Handle: @dreanicoleee
Her Title: Co-Host of Pour Minds Podcast
Who's That It Girl: As one-half of the hit podcast Pour Minds, Drea Nicole brings real talk with humor and heart. We celebrate her for creating spaces where women can laugh, learn, and live out loud.
Co-Host of 'Pour Minds' Podcast Lex P
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Lex P
Her Handle: @lex_p_
Her Title: Co-Host of Pour Minds Podcast
Who's That It Girl: Lex P’s voice is bold, funny, and deeply authentic. We love her for turning the mic into a movement through Pour Minds, proving that humor and healing can thrive side by side.
Content Creator Jeannette Reyes
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Jeannette Reyes
Her Handle: @msnewslady
Her Title: Content Creator
Who's That It Girl: Jeannette Reyes, known online as @msnewslady, went from the newsroom to building her own media brand. She’s a creator, speaker, and author using her platform to help women show up confidently on and off camera.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes, I take up space and I make room for others."
Founder of Mary Louise Cosmetics Akilah Releford
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Akilah Releford
Her Handle: @akilahreleford
Her Title: Founder of Mary Louise Cosmetics
Who's That It Girl: Founder of Mary Louise Cosmetics, Akilah merges skincare and sisterhood with intention. We celebrate her for turning DIY passion into a thriving brand rooted in empowerment and care.
Award-Winning Journalist and Beauty Expert Kayla Greaves
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Kayla Greaves
Her Handle: @kaylaagreaves
Her Title: Award-Winning Journalist and Beauty Expert
Who's That It Girl: Kayla Greaves is a journalist and on-camera expert who’s spent more than a decade telling stories that matter. From interviewing icons like Naomi Campbell to consulting for major brands, she continues to redefine beauty and culture.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes, I'm bold and I make no qualms about it."
Digital Creator Lauren W.
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Lauren W.
Her Handle: @laurenthelolife
Her Title: Digital Creator, Lifestyle and Beauty
Who's That It Girl: Lauren W. brings a breath of honesty to lifestyle content. We celebrate her for creating digital spaces that feel like safe havens for self-discovery, growth, and grace.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes, and I'll do it solo!"
Host of 'She's So Lucky' Podcast Les Alfred
Les Alfred
Her Handle: @lesalfred
Her Title: Host of She's So Lucky podcast
Who's That It Girl: Les Alfred is a media entrepreneur and cultural storyteller shaping the future of women-centered narratives. As the creator and host of She’s So Lucky (formerly Balanced Black Girl), an NAACP Image Award-nominated podcast, she has built a thriving media ecosystem that explores wellness and self-discovery through the lens of trail-blazing women.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes, I'm strong and I lead with softness."
Influencer, Rapper and Actress Aliyah's Interlude
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Aliyah's Interlude
Her Handle: @aliyahsinterlude
Her Title: Influencer, Rapper and Actress
Who's That It Girl: Aliyah's Interlude brings softness and soul to the internet’s boldest spaces. We honor her for creating artful, introspective content that reminds us to slow down, reflect, and dream louder.
Beauty and Fashion Digital Creator Clarke Peoples
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Clarke Peoples
Her Handle: @clarkepeoples
Her Title: Beauty and Fashion Digital Creator
Who's That It Girl: Clarke Peoples creates content that feels like a warm conversation. We love her for her authenticity and for showing that influence grounded in truth never goes out of style.
Model and Content Creator Kamrin White
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Kamrin White
Her Handle: @kamrinwhite
Her Title: Model and Content Creator
Who's That It Girl: We celebrate Kamrin White for transforming her lifestyle lens into something real and radiant. A proud Afro-Latina creator and entrepreneur, she weaves wellness, fashion, and authenticity into her content, inviting her audience to live boldly and vulnerably in their own stories.
Lifestyle and Beauty Creator Jayla Brenae
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Jayla Brenae
Her Handle: @jaylabrenae
Her Title: Lifestyle and Beauty Creator
Who's That It Girl: Jayla Brenae inspires through her transparency and storytelling. We honor her for blending wellness, confidence, and community into content that uplifts and empowers women of all walks.
Journalist and Content Creator Casey Winbush
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Casey Winbush
Her Handle: @caseywinbush
Her Title: Journalist and Content Creator
Who's That It Girl: With humor and heart, Casey Winbush is the voice of digital relatability. We celebrate her for blending vulnerability with wit, turning everyday stories into shared laughter and healing.
Model and Owner of PLEASEPEARLME Kendra Austin
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Kendra Austin
Her Handle: @kendramorous
Her Title: Model and Owner of PLEASEPEARLME
Who's That It Girl: Kendra Austin is poetry in motion, writer, model, and muse. We honor her for redefining softness as strength and for giving women permission to rest, feel, and reclaim joy.
Multidisciplinary Visual Artist and Creative Entrepreneur Shema Love
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Shema Love
Her Handle: @shemalove
Her Title: Multidisciplinary Visual Artist and Creative Entrepreneur
Who's That It Girl: Shema Love is a Brooklyn-based artist and designer turning art into healing. Her bold visuals and apparel celebrate Black joy, creativity, and self-expression, featured by Vogue, Nike, Netflix, and the WNBA.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes, I save lives and art saved me."
Content Creator Kristine Thompson
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Kristine Thompson
Her Handle: @mskristine
Her Title: Content Creator
Who's That It Girl: Kristine Thompson is a fashion and lifestyle creator passionate about redefining style standards for plus-size women. Through her platforms, she shares inspiring fashion, beauty, and travel content that empowers her community to feel confident at any size.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes, I celebrate style and I challenge the idea that beauty comes in one size."
Beauty, Lifestyle and Fashion Creator Crystal Nicole
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Crystal Nicole
Her Handle: @iamcrystalnicolee
Her Title: Beauty, Lifestyle and Fashion Creator
Who's That It Girl: Crystal Nicole’s storytelling moves between vulnerability and victory. We honor her for her ability to inspire others to be unapologetically themselves despite the pressures of social media and for crafting narratives that empower women to rewrite their own anthems.
Tap into the full It Girl 100 Class of 2025 and meet all the women changing game this year and beyond. See the full list here.
Featured image by xoStaff