It’s safe to say the self-care movement isn’t going anywhere anytime soon– and with good reason! Self-care has been clinically proven to reduce burnout, anxiety, and depression, and improve concentration, happiness, and much more. Mothers and caretakers alike are tapping into wellness practices that enrich the mind and rejuvenate the body. And they’re paying a pretty penny for it too.
The U.S. self-care industry is worth billions of dollars, but creating a beneficial self-care routine doesn’t have to break the bank. In fact, practicing self-care is much simpler than you might think.
Here are 7 ideas to help you refresh your self-care routine.
1.Get Curious
Self-care isn’t one-size-fits-all. What works for a friend or family member might not work for you. Therefore, gaining clarity about what you want, or need, in order to pour into yourself is vital. Ask yourself the following questions before you get started for guidance:
- What do I want more of in order to relax? What do I want less of?
- What are my core values and how can I implement them into my routine?
- What activities light me up inside?
- What am I currently doing that drains my energy or wastes my time?
2.Learn a New Skill
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Learning a new skill not only challenges your brain in the best way, but it can also help you feel better too! According to Psychology Today, learning something new– even if it’s just for fun– keeps your brain engaged and healthy. Plus, self-discovery and self-care go hand in hand. Not only will you expand your mind, but you’ll also increase your sense of well-being by taking up a hobby that challenges and intrigues you. To get started, consider the following:
- Cooking a dish from a region you’re not accustomed to
- Gardening
- Sewing or knitting
- Learning a foreign language
- Playing a new sport
- Painting or drawing
- Photography
- Learning to play an instrument
3.Write Yourself a Letter
When was the last time you recognized the parts of yourself that you absolutely love, outside of your role as a mother? Writing a self-love letter is a simple yet effective self-care activity that will fill your cup. You can list the characteristics you love about yourself in bullet form. You can choose to focus on a tender memory that shaped your life or simply brought you joy. Or you can write to your inner child, praising yourself for the person you are today.
There’s no right or wrong way to write the letter since it’s solely for you. You can be as extravagant or detailed as you want. You can boast, you can brag, you can flex– it’s up to you. Simply focus on the positive aspects of your being (big or small) and watch the words flow. But most importantly, allow the letter to serve as a gentle reminder that you are worthy of love.
4.Try a New Product
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Sometimes self-care calls for products that help you relax. As a busy mom with tons on your schedule, a subscription box offers ways to sample new self-care products each month. Companies like Black Girl Magic Box curate health and wellness products from Black-owned businesses.
Do you need a bit of R&R but can’t pencil in a spa day? Refresh your bath and body products with Naked Bar Soap Co.’s luxurious soaps, body oils, and bath bombs to wind down at home. After unwinding, don’t forget that sleep is an essential part of self-care. Investing in products like sleep masks, weighted blankets, high-quality pajama sets, and essential oil diffusers can take your rest to the next level.
5.Schedule “Me Time”
Alone time can be hard to come by but it’s vital for mental health. Periods of solitude can reduce stress and give us a chance to check in with ourselves. When our brains have time to disconnect from life’s stressors when we’re secluded, we’re able to pour back into our families and friends when we return.
For some, "me time" might look like sitting in the car for ten minutes after returning from work. Or maybe it’s enlisting a babysitter to watch your children while you take yourself out on a date. Maybe it’s locking your bedroom door and catching up on your favorite shows while your partner holds down the fort. However you decide to carve out time for yourself, remember to hold fast to it. Add it to your calendar. Cancel plans with others if need be. Your alone time is non-negotiable and deserves space in your life.
6.Practice Gratitude
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Reflecting on the things we’re grateful for is a guaranteed mood booster. Not only that, but it provides an opportunity for introspection, too. There are hosts of gratitude journals that offer writing prompts and nuggets to reflect on, but a regular journal works just as well. If you’re new to journaling, don’t feel pressured to practice it daily. Jotting your thoughts down once a week or once a month is just as impactful.
Affirmations are another way to reflect on the good in your life (or the good that is on its way). They are typically short in length and easy to read or memorize. Place them in areas you frequent throughout the day– think bathroom mirror, car, or office– for a daily reminder of the beauty around you.
7.Get Grounded
Grounding, or earthing, is a therapeutic technique that involves activities that place you in contact with the earth. Examples of grounding include walking barefoot in the grass or sitting/lying on the ground. People who participate in grounding report an increase in mood and a decrease in anxiety and depression.
If skin-to-earth contact isn’t your vibe, taking part in outdoor activities is another self-care option. Attend a yoga class in the park. Go for a leisurely hike. Or simply sit on a bench. Being outdoors for even just a few minutes is enough to boost your mental well-being.
Motherhood comes with tasks that are constantly vying for our attention. And even though we know how important pouring into ourselves is, we don’t want to abandon our self-care routine because we’re burdened by it. The goal is to incorporate self-care activities into our daily lives in a sustainable way. It might take some trial and error to figure out what works for your lifestyle, but it’s worth the effort. You are worth the effort.
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Originally published on February 8, 2023
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RELATED
The answer I gave her is what today’s article is all about: she doesn’t celebrate herself enough. Y’all, I’m so serious about how important it is to do that on a consistent basis that I’ve actually done research on why it’s not a very popular practice for most people. The reasons vary. Some folks don’t celebrate themselves because they think that it’s an arrogant thing to do. Others don’t celebrate themselves because they never really learned how to make themselves a priority (in that way).
Still, others avoid it because they are so used to making a big deal out of others’ accomplishments that it never crosses their mind to give their own selves the same type of intention and energy. And gee — that is so unfortunate because when you make it a point and practice to celebrate the things that you set out to do, it can boost your self-confidence, it can solidify your self-esteem and it can give you the “fuel” to make and meet even more goals in the future.
Why Celebrating Yourself Matters
If you’ve been rocking with me for a while now on this platform, you’ve probably heard me mention that one way to celebrate yourself (that I actually do quite often) is to pop open a bottle of champagne, wine, or sparkling cider and toast yourself at the end of every day or week (check out “10 Ways To Make Monday Your Favorite Day Of The Week,” for example). However, if you want to come up with other ways to improve the quality of your life, get more things done, and have so much (more) fun while doing both, learning how to celebrate yourself fully starts with really understanding what the word means — and requires.
And so, give me a moment to break all of this down for you by sharing five words that actually help to define what it means to…CELEBRATE…yourself. I’ve got a feeling that once you let it all sink in, you will want to start celebrating you and your life immediately and yes, that will absolutely change your life for the better. I guarantee it.
5 Ways To Celebrate Yourself & Honor Your Wins
OBSERVE: to see, watch, perceive or notice
GiphyLet’s begin with the fact that it’s pretty hard to celebrate something if you don’t pay a good amount of attention to what you are actually celebrating in the first place — and by this I mean, you should have clear and concrete things that you want to do — today, this week, this month and then this year.
For example, when it comes to the day that I am actually writing this: TODAY, I am going to open up an account to do online stocks on; this WEEK, I am going to get my will together (because grown folks should have one); this MONTH, I am going to pay off a tax debt that I have (1099s can kick your butt; stay on top of those), and this YEAR, I am going to go on vacation (which is something that I haven’t done since my 20s…no joke).
And yes, every time that I accomplish each of these things, I am going to commemorate it by celebrating myself. After all, another definition of observe is “to regard with attention” — and there is absolutely no sense in “seeing something” that you are not going to be paying real attention to (lawd, that will preach on a few different levels, come to think about it!).
PROCLAIM: to announce or declare in an official or formal manner
GiphyOnce you know what you want to do, you should proclaim it — which basically means that you should hold yourself accountable for even saying that you are going to accomplish it, whatever “it” may be. A good example of this in my own world is, last year, I declared that I was going to publish my third book and my godchildren’s mom declared that she was going to complete her upcoming album. Thing is, I kept dragging my feet until I ended up doing what I seem to do with all of my books: I wrote it in six weeks (even though I had six months), and my godchildren’s mom? She is on the tail end of finishing her latest LP now.
A part of what held us both to the wire is us asking each other, “So, did you finish your project yet?” and that’s because, oftentimes, if you don’t have someone reminding you of what you officially announced to them, you will let life get in the way and procrastinate and/or make excuses (to yourself) and/or never do what you initially proclaimed that you were going to. So yeah, the next step that gets you to the point and place of being able to celebrate yourself is verbally proclaiming that you are going to do what you have started to give a certain amount of attention to.
BLESS: to bestow good of any kind upon
GiphyDid you know that a synonym for celebrate is bless (all of the words that I’ve provided are synonyms for celebrate, actually)? And goodness — how cool is that?
Once you’ve decided that you are going to do something, it’s important to not just declare it and get an accountability partner for it — you also need to bless your intentions. To bless means to request God’s favor on it. To bless means to be intentional about protecting it from dark forces (person, place, thing, idea). To bless means to bring nothing but good energy, good resources, goodness, period, its way.
This can come in the form of prayer, meditation, positive mantras, favorite quotes, a personal mission statement — anything that will put you in a state of confirming (a synonym of bless) that what you plan to do is going to be for your greater good and then honoring (another synonym of bless) that fact — because if it’s for you good (and you remain consistent in executing that goodness), that is definitely something that is worth celebrating. AMEN?
PRAISE: the act of expressing approval or admiration
GiphySometimes, when I’m talking to married couples, a Scripture that I will bring up is Amos 3:3 (NKJV): “Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?” To be in agreement means that you 1) give consent to something; 2) are on one accord about something; 3) are in harmony about something; 4) are CONSISTENT with something, and 5) have determined that the “something” is suitable. You know what? It’s not only relationships that should be in agreement — you should also be in agreement with yourself.
The way that manifests is, well, let me share a quote that I made up years ago that I have featured in one of my email accounts: “If your mind, body, and spirit are not all in agreement…pause.” It’s another message for another time that “trinity” is not a word that’s in the Bible (the Godhead is more appropriate and accurate — I John 5:8). Trinity simply means “three in one” and yes, your mind, body and spirit are certainly an example of a trinity.
And when trinities are in agreement, they can approve of what they are doing and even admire what they have done because, when there is no internal conflict, there is plenty of reason to praise what has manifested. That said, when it comes to your plans — do your mind, body, and spirit all agree that it — whatever “it” is — is a good idea. If not….why not? If so, it’s time to move on to the final word.
PERFORM: to carry out; execute; do; to carry into effect; fulfill
GiphyNow that you see what comes with getting to the point of being able to celebrate yourself — because, clearly, celebration is a methodical process — how could you NOT want to carry out, execute, fulfill an idea or plan to honor yourself for doing what you have just…done?
If you walked out the celebration steps, what’s wrong with: planning a self-care day; treating yourself to your favorite meal at your favorite restaurant; taking a personal day off from work; sending your own self some flowers; booking a night at a hotel; loading your bathtub with rose petals; getting dressed up and taking your own self out on a date; staying in bed all weekend; going on a solo road trip and/or purchasing pampering items? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.
Because once you have observed a mission, proclaimed it to someone else, blessed and approved it — you have already celebrated the mission and so it makes no sense to not also celebrate the vessel that put it all together: YOU. And when you’re in a constant cycle of celebration, how could it not significantly improve the quality of your life…right?
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A sex therapist by the name of Dr. Chelsea Page once said, “Celebration is the climax of self-love.” If you love yourself, celebration should be a common practice that represents that fact. So, whether it’s your relationship, your professional aspirations, your health goals, your money missions, or habits that you want to break and/or implement — if you want a hack to instantly change your life for the better, learn how to CELEBRATE YOURSELF.
It’s how to set goals, reach them, and honor them. Over and over again...in the best way possible.
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