I mean, maybe it’s just me, but when it comes to dealing with the monthly occurrence that is our periods, even though our vagina is very much involved, it’s rare that I will see content that is centered around that body part alone (relatively speaking). Sure, I read period hacks fairly often, but — what I mean is, where are the articles that are devoted to prepping and loving on your vagina and vulva specifically so that your period can be a lot less…intense?
A wise person once said that if you don’t like something, instead of complaining about it, why not do it yourself? Indeed…INDEED. So today, in honor of our vagina (and vulva) and all that it goes through every time our cycle rolls around, here are 15 ways that you can get it ready for the…well, inevitable.
15 Period-Prep Tips for Your Vagina
1. Buy Unscented Pads or Tampons
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I’ve said before that I wish that I had known about menstrual cups YEARS ago. Since I’ve been using one, I’ve pretty much only relied on pads on my heaviest days (as backup). Yet even during my tampons (in my 20s) and pad seasons, I’ve avoided all of the scented stuff. My vagina is pretty sensitive all on its own, so fragrances and dyes don’t help it one bit. I’m not alone, either.
Even the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) highly recommends that, if you want to keep your pH balance where it needs to be, the less chemicals on your menstrual products (and in your toilet paper), the better. A cheat sheet on how to find the best ones is to look for what is branded as being “organic.” You can also read up on some Black-owned menstrual care brands here and here.
2. “Trim the Lawn”
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When you’ve got a real bestie, you tend to talk about everything — TMI ish ‘n all. One of mine, we sometimes debate “to go bald or to keep” when it comes to pubic hair. Me? I’m Team Keep, although I do wax the “outer perimeters” and bikini line on a consistent basis.
I also try to keep things like a golf course (as one of my friends says. LOL); especially when my period is about to come on. Not only does it make me feel fresher, but it makes — let me pick something not super graphic — unraveling from any blood remnants so much easier to do every day (until my cycle ends).
3. Apply a Carrier Oil
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If your vulva (the outer part of your vagina) tends to feel either irritated (from the blood) or dry (if you do wear a menstrual cup or tampon), you can protect that part of your body by applying a carrier oil; especially at night (when you may not be changing your menstrual products as much).
If you’re concerned about which ones could end up doing more harm than good (as far as irritation is concerned), check out “So, Here Are The Carrier Oils That Will Take Your Sex Life To A Whole 'Nother Level” when you get a chance. It lists 12 oils that your vagina will embrace instead of repel. Personally, I’m a carrot seed oil fan; the Vitamin E in it is quite soothing.
4. Up Your Hydration
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How much blood you lose during your cycle kind of varies per person (although if you bleed through a tampon or pad every 1-2 hours or for more than seven days consistently, you may have what is called menorrhagia; you should definitely speak with your doctor). What does apply, across the board, is the loss of blood can lead to dehydration, intensified period cramps, bloating, and hella-fied fatigue.
So, when you feel PMS coming up, ramp up your water intake. It really does help to make all of these issues…less of one.
5. Take More Probiotics
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Something that typically happens right before your period begins is the progesterone levels in your body increase. That’s because, if you were to get pregnant, progesterone is what helps to prepare your uterine lining to support your pregnancy. When you don’t, in order for the lining to shed (which is basically what having a period is all about), progesterone levels must shift.
All of this “shifting” can result in you experiencing digestive issues — including (sometimes) constipation (or going to the bathroom more than usual). Not only that, but periods can also put quite a bit of stress on your body as well. Plus, yeast infections come when bad bacteria overtake good bacteria (and you can get a yeast infection at any time). Something that can help with all of this is taking a probiotic.
Honestly, since probiotics also help with improving your gut health, keeping you energized and in a good mood, and even reducing belly fat, it’s best to incorporate one into your daily health regimen. You can take probiotics in supplement form. Also, some foods that are high in probiotics include fermented ones like yogurt, pickles, and cheese.
6. Buy an OTC Antihistamine
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Now here’s something that I bet you didn’t have on your period prep bingo card. Did you know that if you take an over-the-counter antihistamine right before your cycle, it can somewhat decrease your blood flow during it? The thought process here is that the natural histamine that’s in your system will elevate your estrogen levels around the time of your cycle which can lead to more shedding of your uterine lining.
So, while tossin’ back Claritin pills like it’s candy isn’t recommended, having one or two on your heaviest day could provide a bit of (flow) relief.
7. Enjoy Some Phytoestrogens
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On the flip side, towards the end of your period, your estrogen levels will drop. Because low estrogen can result in symptoms like irritability, tender breasts, a lack of concentration, vaginal dryness, and even dry skin, it certainly can’t hurt to consume some phytoestrogens (plant-based estrogen foods). Some of those would include dried fruits, berries, garlic, cabbage, collards, and wheat bran.
8. Eat Iron-Rich Foods
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There is a lot of iron in your red blood cells, and since blood is what you’re losing during your period, eating some iron-rich foods is highly recommended, too. In fact, you might be surprised to know that when you have an iron deficiency, it can affect your libido and lubrication levels and even your ability to have orgasms (chile). So yeah, definitely get that iron in. Some foods that are loaded with it include red meat, quinoa, beans, turkey, and broccoli.
9. Consume Less Sugar
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If you’ve ever wondered why you suddenly want to eat everything sweet that you can get your hands on right before and during your period — well, not only can you put that on your hormones fluctuating, but sweet and starchy foods can also give you a “hit” of serotonin which can happily put you in a happier state of mind. Problem is, that sugar can increase inflammation and inflammation can make period pain worse.
Not only that but speaking of yeast infections, if you’ve never had a yeast infection during your cycle, LUCKY YOU. Even though period blood alters the pH balance to where symptoms related to one can also decrease, the yeast will be waiting on you once the bleeding stops — and yeast literally feeds off of sugar. So yeah — junk food in moderation, please.
10. Load Up on Condoms
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If you’re down for period sex, there are a few reasons why it’s best to have your partner use a condom (if he’s not doing so already). One, the prostaglandins in your partner’s sperm/semen could actually trigger cramps (because some vaginas are very sensitive to them). Two, because sperm can live inside of your vagina for up to five days. If your cycle is all over the place…yes, you can get pregnant while on your period. And third, blood doesn’t stop STIs/STDs from being transmitted. So, if you are running low on rubbers, now would be the time to pick some up.
11. Prepare to Take Showers…Unless
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Even though a warm bath can actually help to soothe your menstrual cramps, if you’re a heavy bleeder, you’re gonna be attempting to wash yourself with blood in the water; that’s why showers are probably best (at least on your heavy days). There is a workaround for this: put a menstrual cup or tampon in before getting into the tub.
Showers are totally my thing, so this tip doesn’t apply to me personally. However, if you find showering to be kind of “blah,” check out “How To Turn Your Showers Into A Tranquil DIY Spa.” It might just make taking showers your favorite thing about having a period!
12. Avoid Hot Water. Kind Of.
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When it comes to this particular point, while drinking warm/hot water can help to soothe cramping, I’m still talking about bathing here. Honestly, hot water isn’t the best thing, period, because it tends to dehydrate your skin. The reason why I say “maybe” in this case is, that if you don’t have a heavy blood flow, you probably won’t care about how hot water increases blood circulation.
Oh, but if you do and you tend to shower/bathe in the morning — don’t be surprised if that awesome “hot time” leads to some unexpected leaks on the way to work. #justsayin’
13. Try Some Aquaphor
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If you don’t have a really strong blood flow, you’re a tampon wearer, and it can feel uncomfortable to put them in; applying something like Aquaphor around the entrance of your vagina can make tampons so much easier to insert. Something else that I like about this particular hack is Aquaphor is also a solid skin barrier if your vaginal fluids irritate your vulva during your special time of the month.
14. Do (More) Meditating
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Although many health experts are still looking into this, it would make sense that meditation would help with period discomfort. One, because it is a proven stress reliever, and two, there is plenty of data to support that it can help with reducing chronic pain. So, even if you don’t really feel like exercising while you’re on your period (although that can be beneficial for you, too), at least devote 5-20 minutes of meditating. You might not need (so much) Advil if you do.
15. Take Naps
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Taking naps leading into your cycle (and during it) not only helps in the fatigue department, but they also help to reduce stress (even if it’s only a 15-minute one). And since yes, you can absolutely stress your vagina out (check out “Ever Wonder If Your Vagina Is Stressed TF Out?”) and piss it off (check out “Welp. Here Are 15 Things That Could Be Pissing Your Vagina Off.”); especially during “that time of the month.”
So, don’t feel the least bit guilty about ramping up your nap schedule. You’re doing your vagina (and the rest of you) a ton of good if you do!
BONUS FOR AFTERWARDS: Wear Your Menstrual Cup an Extra Day
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Although I don’t smell anything while I’m on my period, the day right after the flow stops, it sometimes smells almost like…death. I looked up why, and it’s basically because there is still some tissue and bacteria that is still coming out. That’s also why my vulva and vaginal opening would be so irritated. I found a solution: I wear my menstrual cup on that day, too. That way, it can catch all of the drama, and I don’t have to suffer.
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So, now that you know what your vagina needs for your period, doesn’t that make everything about how to approach your period seem so much better? Gee, I certainly hope so, sis. With all that you go through during that time of the month, you absolutely deserve it.
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So, we handpicked one hundred It Girls who embody that palpable It Factor moving through us as young Black women, the kind of motion lighting up the world both IRL and across the internet.
It Girl 100 became xoNecole’s most successful program, with the hashtag organically reaching more than forty million impressions on Instagram in just twenty-four hours. Yes, it caught on like wildfire because we celebrated some of the most brilliant and influential GenZennial women of color setting trends and shaping culture. But more than that, it resonated because the women we celebrated felt seen.
Many were already known in their industries for keeping this generation fly and lit, but rarely received recognition or flowers. It Girl 100 became a safe space to be uplifted, and for us as Black women to bask in what felt like an era of our brilliance, beauty, and boundless influence on full display.
And then, almost overnight, it was as if the rug was pulled from under us as Black women, as the It Girls of the world.
Our much-needed, much-deserved season of ease and soft living quickly metamorphosed into a time of self-preservation and survival. Our motion and economic progression seemed strategically slowed, our light under siege.
The air feels heavier now. The headlines colder. Our Black girl magic is being picked apart and politicized for simply existing.
With that climate shift, as we prepare to launch our second annual It Girl 100 honoree list, our team has had to dig deep on the purpose and intention behind this year’s list. Knowing the spirit of It Girl 100 is about motion, sauce, strides, and progression, how do we celebrate amid uncertainty and collective grief when the juice feels like it is being squeezed out of us?
As we wrestled with that question, we were reminded that this tension isn’t new. Black women have always had to find joy in the midst of struggle, to create light even in the darkest corners. We have carried the weight of scrutiny for generations, expected to be strong, to serve, to smile through the sting. But this moment feels different. It feels deeply personal.
We are living at the intersection of liberation and backlash. We are learning to take off our capes, to say no when we are tired, to embrace softness without apology.
And somehow, the world has found new ways to punish us for it.
In lifestyle, women like Kayla Nicole and Ayesha Curry have been ridiculed for daring to choose themselves. Tracee Ellis Ross was labeled bitter for speaking her truth about love. Meghan Markle, still, cannot breathe without critique.
In politics, Kamala Harris, Letitia James, and Jasmine Crockett are dragged through the mud for standing tall in rooms not built for them.
In sports, Angel Reese, Coco Gauff, and Taylor Townsend have been reminded that even excellence will not shield you from racism or judgment.
In business, visionaries like Diarrha N’Diaye-Mbaye and Melissa Butler are fighting to keep their dreams alive in an economy that too often forgets us first.
Even our icons, Beyoncé, Serena, and SZA, have faced criticism simply for evolving beyond the boxes society tried to keep them in.
From everyday women to cultural phenoms, the pattern is the same. Our light is being tested.
And yet, somehow, through it all, we are still showing up as that girl, and that deserves to be celebrated.
Because while the world debates our worth, we keep raising our value. And that proof is all around us.
This year alone, Naomi Osaka returned from motherhood and mental health challenges to reach the semifinals of the US Open. A’ja Wilson claimed another MVP, reminding us that beauty and dominance can coexist. Brandy and Monica are snatching our edges on tour. Kahlana Barfield Brown sold out her new line in the face of a retailer that had been canceled. And Melissa Butler’s company, The Lip Bar, is projecting a forty percent surge in sales.
We are no longer defining strength by how much pain we can endure. We are defining it by the unbreakable light we continue to radiate.
We are the women walking our daily steps and also continuing to run solid businesses. We are growing in love, taking solo trips, laughing until it hurts, raising babies and ideas, drinking our green juice, and praying our peace back into existence.
We are rediscovering the joy of rest and realizing that softness is not weakness, it is strategy.
And through it all, we continue to lift one another. Emma Grede is creating seats at the table. Valeisha Butterfield has started a fund for jobless Black women. Arian Simone is leading in media with fearless conviction. We are pouring into each other in ways the world rarely sees but always feels.
So yes, we are in the midst of societal warfare. Yes, we are being tested. Yes, we are facing economic strain, political targeting, and public scrutiny. But even war cannot dim a light that is divinely ours.
And we are still shining.
And we are still softening.
And we are still creating.
And we are still It.
That is the quiet magic of Black womanhood, our ability to hold both truth and triumph in the same breath, to say yes, and to life’s contradictions.
It is no coincidence that this year, as SheaMoisture embraces the message “Yes, And,” they stand beside us as partners in celebrating this class of It Girls. Because that phrase, those two simple words, capture the very essence of this moment.
Yes, we are tired. And we are still rising.
Yes, we are questioned. And we are the answer.
Yes, we are bruised. And we are still beautiful.
This year’s It Girl 100 is more than a list. It is a love letter to every Black woman who dares to live out loud in a world that would rather she whisper. This year’s class is living proof of “Yes, And,” women who are finding ways to thrive and to heal, to build and to rest, to lead and to love, all at once.
It is proof that our joy is not naive, our success not accidental. It is the reminder that our light has never needed permission.
So without further ado, we celebrate the It Girl 100 Class of 2025–2026.
We celebrate the millions of us who keep doing it with grace, grit, and glory.
Because despite it all, we still shine.
Because we are still her.
Because we are still IT, girl.
Meet all 100 women shaping culture in the It Girl 100 Class of 2025. View the complete list of honorees here.
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It’s not like it has to be a bad thing. In fact, studies say that somewhere around 15 percent of engaged couples actually met through a friend. All I’m saying is, before you entertain someone’s “I’ve got someone I want you to meet” invitation, it would benefit you to interview them first — for the sake of all parties involved.
The questions that I recommend asking? The following six are what I think can get everyone on the same page, so that there is more pleasure than regret from the hook-up attempt.
1. Why Are They So Invested?
GiphyTwo things that I recently watched over again are the series Survivor’s Remorse (the writing is so damn good) and a movie called Trapped in Temptation (both are currently on Tubi). Something that both of them made me think about is the fact that motive reveals a lot when it comes to why people say and do the things that they do.
When it comes to the movie, specifically, without giving the film away — let me just say that, if you are in a relationship, be really careful about listening to individuals who try to talk you out of maintaining it. More times than not, the motive is shady as hell. And honestly, sometimes people who are close to obsessed with you being in one deserve a bit of side-eye too.
Now, if it’s someone who loves all things love, they are in love and they want you to experience something similar — that’s sweet. Just make sure that they are approaching the set up from a healthy space. What I mean by that is they don’t see singleness as some sort of relational handicap or they aren’t trying to override what you want for your life as if they somehow know better (there are so many ways to be a control freak, y’all).
Hmph. Now that I think about it — make sure that the set-up crew isn’t trying to use you to “save” some male friend or relative of theirs. I say that because I once knew a mother whose son had — count ‘em — 10 kids and she was FOREVER trying to get me to date him. Girl, that wasn’t for me. She was looking for a Holy Ghost Jr. for that child of hers. I’ll pass. HARD PASS.
Bottom line with this one — if someone wants to set you up with someone else, the first thing to ask is why? Make sure to really listen to what their answer is. Then pay attention to if your mind, body and spirit are at peace with their answer(s).
2. Do They Know What You Want?
GiphyI don’t know about y’all, but the people (and let’s be honest, by far, it’s usually women) who have tried to set me up with someone? They didn’t even know what my preferences or type was. Hell, they didn’t even know my thoughts or timeline as it relates to being in a serious relationship were either. And what that boils down to is they were trying to hook me up based on their agenda, not mine — and that usually meant that the guys who they came up with? Yeah…I was good on them. LOL.
Yeah, if someone wants to hook you up, you definitely should ask them if they know what you are looking for in a guy when it comes to his looks, personality, passions, spirituality, relational desires and goals, location, etc. Because, indeed, what is the point in going out with someone who is fine as hell and yet, you want kids and he doesn’t (or vice versa) or who has a great personality yet he isn’t even in the same ballpark of your spiritual beliefs?
If your friend really wants to help you out, valuing your time should come with that — and that means bringing someone into your life who complements your lifestyle. No wiggle room here.
3. Are They Aware of Your Deal-Breakers?
GiphyLast year, I wrote an article for the platform entitled, “Should Bad Sex Actually Be A Relationship Deal-Breaker?” The thing that I think needs to go on record about deal-breakers is they aren’t exactly standards that you have. No, a deal-breaker is something that can’t be worked out even after trying to negotiate or compromise. When it comes to relationships, a deal-breaker might be how long two people should date before becoming exclusive or getting engaged. Another deal-breaker might be if being religious is more important than being spiritual and how that manifests itself (church or no church, etc.). And yes, another deal-breaker may be what each other’s sexual needs and expectations are.
When someone is setting you up, it is imperative that they know about your standards. For instance, for me, I am not interested in dating a divorced person, pretty much ever (I Corinthians 7:10-11). I’ve had friends who have tried to hook me up with that demographic before and it has always been a moot effort. The fact that some of them have gotten frustrated with my convictions has absolutely nothing to do with me. Some have tried to get me to compromise my deal-breakers too — like a long-distance relationship. Is it a firm “naw”? No. However, it’s not really something that I am interested in, so why not just…recommend someone local?
Yeah, if someone thinks that they know you well enough to hook you up, they absolutely should be well-versed in what your deal-breakers are before they do. And if they’ve never asked, all they are doing is assuming — and we know what that typically means. LOL.
4. What Is Their Track Record?
GiphyIt’s kind of wild that we now live in a time when more couples meet online than they do through “old-fashioned ways” like via their friends (although some reports say that Gen Z is getting back to that) — and yet, here we are. Still, if you are willing to let someone play pseudo matchmaker in your life, you are well within your rights to inquire about their track record in that department. Have they hooked others up, successfully, before? Has any of their “Cupid work” caused both people to get exactly what they wanted out of the situation? If/when things went awry, why was that?
I know someone who is constantly trying to hook people up. Thing is, maybe 10-15 percent (no joke) of their efforts have proven to be positive and fruitful — and we’re talking about close to close to two decades of them doing it. Listen, time is too precious to be out here doing stuff ONLY to please other people. That said, if someone wants you to devote some time to one of their grand ideas, you are well within your rights to ask about their past and current success score when it comes to it.
5. Can They Keep Their Own Feelings Out of It?
GiphyWanna know if someone who is offering to do something for you is actually doing it more for themselves? If they try to make it be about them when things don’t go the way they would like, that is a dead ringer. An example? They post a message about you on social media and then question you about why you didn’t do the same thing in return. Another example? They do something for you and then throw it in your face during an argument. Still another example? They set you up with someone, it doesn’t work out, and suddenly you’ve put them in a weird spot. No dear — you put your own self in that position by trying to hook two people up in the first place.
I promise you, it will spare everyone unnecessary energy spent (or even drama experienced) if, before you agree to be hooked up, you get the matchmaker on record stating that they will keep their emotions out of it as much as possible. MEANING — they will do the introductions and then let the chips fall where they may. If they can’t do this, my two cents (save it or spend it) would be to decline the offer. Because all you need is someone texting you about why you haven’t called their cousin back or having an attitude with you when you break up with some guy at their church who they thought was the perfect catch (P.S. These aren’t hypothetical examples — LOL).
6. Will They Respect Your Boundaries? Start to Finish?
GiphyYeah, this final one is a biggie. Just because someone sets you up with another person, that doesn’t automatically or necessarily mean that they should have the right to the details of the dynamic. I don’t care if it’s the first date or the 10th date. I don’t care if you decide to just be sex buddies or to have a full-blown relationship. I don’t care if you stay together or break-up — it’s your relationship which makes it your business. Whatever you share is privileged data.
Yeah, I would say that probably the most challenging thing about being hooked up by someone you know is they have a tendency to think that they are a part of the relationship too — and that is a lie. If things go well beyond a couple of dates, you and the guy should discuss what you will both share with the person who introduced you and then agree to stick to that boundary, no matter what. It’s a great way to protect the dynamic, to keep “outside voices” from influencing the growth and to navigate how you want to move, moving forward.
Someone who hooked you up for the right reasons and knows how to honor limits? They will understand. Will they ask questions? Absolutely. Will they pry? Nah.
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Should you sit and let someone hook you up? I mean, you never know how your blessing will come. Just make sure that they are prepared for you to do some digging into their mindset before they start sweetly meddling into your love life.
It’s only fair. Hell, and right. LOL.
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