14 Affirmations To Say To Yourself When You Feel Like Giving Up
We are currently eight months in 2020 and as we prepare to enter this new season, I know you are present with your pen and paper writing out your list on what you've accomplished so far and what you still need to check off. Most of us were full steam ahead with our resolutions until Miss Rona knocked on our doors with a "hey, sis." As such, we are still adjusting to what the "new normal" looks like for us.
Some of us have used this downtime to revamp while others like me are biting nails as we watch the growing numbers of positive cases on CNN, and look around whenever we hear someone cough—dealing with anxiety and fear of the unknown. Intermingled with that worry, many of us are having concerns with balancing the home and work life as our regular routines shattered with challenges with creating new habits. At any rate, our lives were definitely shaken up to say the least and 2020 feels like the year that delivers blow after blow after blow. When met with anxiety and overwhelm, loss, uncertainty, worry, and financial stress, it can be easy to feel like giving up. To help combat those inevitable low moments, something that could prove to be beneficial is speaking life over yourself through affirmations.
14 Affirmations For When You Feel Like Giving Up
I will be present in every moment.
Focus on the task at hand. Sometimes we get excited about completing a goal that we don't enjoy the journey. When you feel overwhelmed or have negative self-talk, being present in the moment can shift your focus on what's in front of you.
I have the power to change my story.
That's the beauty of your life. It is yours, and you have the power to do whatever you want with it. That is the ultimate power and freedom. You can change your story within seconds. Realize that power and use it for good.
Everything I'm looking for I can find within me.
Have you ever asked your friend for advice but you already know what to do? Were you looking for confirmation? Ignoring outside opinions in lieu of trusting your gut and instincts, you will increase your self-confidence in knowing what you need to do and what it takes to get it done.
I love myself enough to push through.
Sometimes the most difficult tasks and decisions will test you and require you to dig a little deeper, stay up a little longer, or even get in one more squat for your summer body. It all boils down to the love and commitment you're willing to give to yourself.
Great things never come from my comfort zone.
It's time to say no to things that don't serve you and start saying yes to something that can elevate you. Nothing is wrong with being playing it safe. However, in order to grow, you must push past being passive in reaching your goals and start being active. Coming out of our comfort zones reveals a side of us that we didn't know existed. Let's be honest, "old ways won't open new doors."
Something amazing is about to happen to me.
You probably can't see it, touch it, taste it, or feel it, but you are so close. To reach any goal, you have to fake it until you make it. Saying it fifty times a day will give you all the confidence to embrace all the good that will happen in our life.
I thoroughly let go and trust in divine timing.
Things happen when they're supposed to happen, and not when you're ready for them to arrive. While attending to your goals, you are building your character along the way. Letting go and trusting the process will alleviate any anxiety and stress you may be feeling during this time. The point is that you have to keep going. When the time does arrive, you can and will appreciate it more.
I accomplish anything I focus on.
It's easy to get distracted during these current times. If we focus long and hard enough, we can get things done, whether it takes hours, days, or years. Setting time aside, meditating, and praying will impact your focus and motivation to complete your goals.
I choose prosperity over failure.
Don't allow Miss Rona to step on your toes and get in your way. You've come too far. Put those Pinterest boards to good use and hit the ground running. You can't fail, and you aren't giving yourself room to fail. You've come too far to give up now.
I release all negativity.
Are your thoughts motivating you or intimidating you to throw in the towel? What is popping up on your timeline? Sometimes to complete the tasks we deem necessary, we have to let go of something until the mission is complete temporarily.
I am always headed in the right direction.
When diving into something new, you will often second-guess yourself or jump in the pool of self-sabotage. But, everything you've worked for so far is leading you in the direction of your goals. The journey wasn't perfect; it may not have looked like your peers' journeys, but you are on the path to success as long as you know that you were forever in the right direction.
I honor my commitments and promises.
You've spent weeks and months conjuring up the plan to put things in motion to complete your goals finally. You've already made the verbal agreement with yourself. To keep your promises to yourself, you've signed your name on the dotted line and are committed to this journey.
I am running a marathon at my own pace and aim at the finish line.
Before you compare and contrast your journey with your peers, it is essential to recognize what sacrifices you're willing to make, to dig deep and to figure out what your goals indeed are. Other people's success can be discouraging and make you question your path. If you focus on the task at hand, the finish line can become apparent and more tangible. You are a winner for even trying, getting started, and executing.
I have the power to overcome hardships.
Let's face it. You'll endure more lows than highs during this time. The small wins and victories also come with epic fails and humps to get over. It would help if you reminded yourself that you would prevail. You will overcome this. You will win.
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Writer, Empath, Listener, Self Improver, and a motivational speaker to her homegirls Teisha LeShea currently resides in California who loves to add fifteen million items to her Amazon cart. She is passionate about wellness, spiritual improvement, leveling up, and setting up twice a month therapy appointments. She writes with you in mind. Her listicle and personal stories will inspire you to dig deep within yourself to be a better you. You can follow her on Instagram @teisha.leshea and & @tl_teisha.leshea
Exclusive: Gabrielle Union On Radical Transparency, Being Diagnosed With Perimenopause And Embracing What’s Next
Whenever Gabrielle Union graces the movie screen, she immediately commands attention. From her unforgettable scenes in films like Bring It On and Two Can Play That Game to her most recent film, in which she stars and produces Netflix’s The Perfect Find, there’s no denying that she is that girl.
Off-screen, she uses that power for good by sharing her trials and tribulations with other women in hopes of helping those who may be going through the same things or preventing them from experiencing them altogether. Recently, the Flawless by Gabrielle Union founder partnered with Clearblue to speak at the launch of their Menopause Stage Indicator, where she also shared her experience with being perimenopausal.
In a xoNecoleexclusive, the iconic actress opens up about embracing this season of her life, new projects, and overall being a “bad motherfucker.” Gabrielle reveals that she was 37 years old when she was diagnosed with perimenopause and is still going through it at 51 years old. Mayo Clinic says perimenopause “refers to the time during which your body makes the natural transition to menopause, marking the end of the reproductive years.”
“I haven't crossed over the next phase just yet, but I think part of it is when you hear any form of menopause, you automatically think of your mother or grandmother. It feels like an old-person thing, but for me, I was 37 and like not understanding what that really meant for me. And I don't think we focus so much on the word menopause without understanding that perimenopause is just the time before menopause,” she tells us.
Photo by Brian Thomas
"But you can experience a lot of the same things during that period that people talk about, that they experienced during menopause. So you could get a hot flash, you could get the weight gain, the hair loss, depression, anxiety, like all of it, mental health challenges, all of that can come, you know, at any stage of the menopausal journey and like for me, I've been in perimenopause like 13, 14 years. When you know, most doctors are like, ‘Oh, but it's usually about ten years, and I'm like, ‘Uhh, I’m still going (laughs).’”
Conversations about perimenopause, fibroids, and all the things that are associated with women’s bodies have often been considered taboo and thus not discussed publicly. However, times are changing, and thanks to the Gabrielle’s and the Tia Mowry’s, more women are having an authentic discourse about women’s health. These open discussions lead to the creation of more safe spaces and support for one another.
“I want to be in community with folks. I don't ever want to feel like I'm on an island about anything. So, if I can help create community where we are lacking, I want to be a part of that,” she says. “So, it's like there's no harm in talking about it. You know what I mean? Like, I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change. I'm just getting better and stronger and more intelligent, more wise, more patient, more compassionate, more empathetic. All of that is very, very welcomed, and none of it should be scary.”
The Being Mary Jane star hasn’t been shy about her stance on therapy. If you don’t know, here’s a hint: she’s all for it, and she encourages others to try it as well. She likens therapy to dating by suggesting that you keep looking for the right therapist to match your needs. Two other essential keys to her growth are radical transparency and radical acceptance (though she admits she is still working on the latter).
"I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change."
Gabrielle Union and Kaavia Union-Wade
Photo by Monica Schipper/Getty Images
“I hope that a.) you recognize that you're not alone. Seek out help and know that it's okay to be honest about what the hell is happening in your life. That's the only way that you know you can get help, and that's also the only other way that people know that you are in need if there's something going on,” she says, “because we have all these big, very wild, high expectations of people, but if they don't know what they're actually dealing with, they're always going to be failing, and you will always be disappointed. So how about just tell the truth, be transparent, and let people know where you are. So they can be of service, they can be compassionate.”
Gabrielle’s transparency is what makes her so relatable, and has so many people root for her. Whether through her TV and film projects, her memoirs, or her social media, the actress has a knack for making you feel like she’s your homegirl. Scrolling through her Instagram, you see the special moments with her family, exciting new business ventures, and jaw-dropping fashion moments. Throughout her life and career, we’ve seen her evolve in a multitude of ways. From producing films to starting a haircare line to marriage and motherhood, her journey is a story of courage and triumph. And right now, in this season, she’s asking, “What’s next?”
“This is a season of discovery and change. In a billion ways,” says the NAACP Image Award winner. “The notion of like, ‘Oh, so and so changed. They got brand new.’ I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
"I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
She continues, “So I'm just trying to figure out what's next. You know what I mean? I'm jumping into what's next. I'm excited going into what's next and new. I'm just sort of embracing all of what life has to offer.”
Look out for Gabrielle in the upcoming indie film Riff Raff, which is a crime comedy starring her and Jennifer Coolidge, and she will also produce The Idea of You, which stars Anne Hathaway.
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Have you ever been in a relationship with someone and felt so deeply connected to them? Everything about the relationship was intense – good or bad? Then you might be in a part of a soul tie.
The concept of a soul tie binds individuals on a level beyond a relationship's physical and emotional aspects; it’s more than a mere connection. You can form a soul tie with anyone – lover, friend, colleague, etc.- but we are discussing romantic partners for this article. Think of you and your partner as an intensely burning flame. The flame can burn passionately to light the relationship’s way or chaotically burn everything in its path. Either way, it leaves an indelible mark on the souls involved.
A soul tie should not be confused with the term “soulmate.” The main difference is that a soul tie can be positive or negative, while a soulmate is a mutual, harmonious connection. Unlike a soul tie, a soulmate relationship is generally characterized by mutual understanding, support, and shared values.
However, the more we learn about soul ties, the more it becomes evident that they are not monolithic; they vary in nature and intensity. As someone who has experienced a negative soul tie, it is crucial to discern whether they contribute positively to personal growth or hinder you from flourishing.
If Your Soul Tie Is Positive
A positive soul tie creates a deep and affirming connection between individuals. One key indicator of a positive soul tie is effective communication. If you’re experiencing a positive soul tie, a shared understanding fosters open and honest dialogue, contributing to a sense of connection and support.
Mutual growth is another hallmark of a positive soul tie. When individuals in a relationship encourage each other's personal development and evolution, it signifies a positive and uplifting connection. This mutual support leads to an environment where both parties can thrive individually and together, contributing to the overall health of the soul tie.
Emotional security is a crucial element in identifying a positive soul tie. In such connections, individuals feel a deep sense of trust and comfort with each other. This emotional security forms a stable foundation for the relationship, allowing both parties to express vulnerability and foster a strong, positive bond. These three indicators—effective communication, mutual growth, and emotional security—underscore the positivity inherent in a healthy and affirming soul tie.
If Your Soul Tie Is Negative
A negative soul tie manifests as a detrimental and draining connection between individuals. One clear sign of a negative soul tie is the presence of emotional turmoilwithin the relationship. When the connection becomes a source of constant distress, causing emotional upheaval and hindering personal development, it indicates a negative soul tie.
Codependency is another red flag for a negative soul tie. In such connections, individuals may become overly reliant on each other, impeding their ability to thrive independently. Codependency often leads to unhealthy dependencies and can result in a toxic dynamic that hinders both individuals' growth and well-being.
A lack of effective communication is a third indicator of a negative soul tie. When there is a breakdown in communication, misunderstandings and unresolved issues can fester, contributing to a strained and unhealthy connection. In negative soul ties, the absence of open and honest dialogue can perpetuate a cycle of negativity and prevent the resolution of underlying issues. These three indicators—emotional turmoil, codependency, and poor communication—point to the negativity associated with an unhealthy soul tie.
Putting Out The Fires And Breaking Your Soul Tie
Unfortunately, my deep, intense connection only caused destruction. And despite the obvious red flags, it took a minute before I broke the connection. Why? Because I was addicted to the relationship, we both were. But it is possible to break a soul tie if and when you are ready because if you are not, pretending you are when you are not is a waste of your time.
Breaking a soul tie requires intentional and purposeful actions. Establishing clear and firm boundaries is a fundamental step in severing the connection. By limiting contact and emotional engagement with the person involved, individuals can gradually weaken the tie and create space for personal growth.
Seeking professional support is another effective strategy to break a soul tie. Guidance from therapists or counselors provides valuable insights and coping strategies. Professional assistance can help individuals navigate the emotional challenges associated with breaking a soul tie, offering a structured and supportive environment for healing.
Redirecting energy toward personal growth is important in breaking free from a soul tie. Engaging in activities that promote individual well-being and create a sense of independence allows individuals to refocus their attention on their own growth and development. This redirection of energy is essential for breaking the emotional bonds of a soul tie and moving towards a healthier, more fulfilling life.
The last step I advise everyone to go through is the mourning period. My partner and I did our song and dance for years before I walked away. And I would be lying if I didn’t say that I mourned our relationship while I healed.
Recognizing the presence and nature of a soul tie in your relationship is crucial to understanding its impact on your well-being. Whether positive or negative, the intensity of a soul tie can shape the course of your personal growth and happiness. Breaking free from a negative soul tie demands intentional efforts, from setting clear boundaries to seeking professional support. Redirecting energy toward personal growth and allowing oneself a necessary mourning period are vital steps toward healing and liberation from the intricate ties that bind.
Feature image by JD Mason/ Unsplash