Here's How To Make Wash Day Less Of A Headache
I don't know about y'all, but if there is one very necessary task that I pretty much have to gas myself up to do, each and every time that I do it, it's shampooing and conditioning my hair. Back when I had a TWA (Teeny Weeny Afro), it was nothing to wash it in the shower and let it air dry as I go about my day. Yet now that I finally have a few inches—and, as my braider always tells me, a lot of hair density—there is no other word to describe wash day other than being an absolute chore. Still, it's something that has to be done if I want my hair to flourish.
I must admit that over the past three years or so, I have figured out a routine that makes wash day a lot less stressful and time-consuming. If you'd like to know my personal approach, I've included 10 tips that can make your own wash day a bit less of a headache than it (probably) currently is.
1. Set Up Some Entertainment
The longer my hair gets, the more I have to gas myself up to wash it. The reason why is because, sometimes, believe it or not, it's the rushing through the shampooing, conditioning and drying process on wash day that can end up doing your hair the most damage. What can help you to avoid rushing, so that you can handle your hair with the ultimate care, is to set up some sort of entertainment that can help to keep you in good spirits. It can be turning on some throwback jams or making the decision to catch up on a favorite show. My hair, right now, is a little past my chin and, from beginning to end, wash day takes about three hours (mostly because I try to deep condition for about 1.5-2 hours of that). Based on the length of your own locks, that can help you to get an idea of whether you'll be listening to one LP or watching two movies. Either way, it can help you to enjoy something that you might not have much time to do otherwise.
2. Give Your Hair a Little Bit of Steam
Out of all the tips that I'm about to share with you, the one that you may have never done or even considered before is steaming your hair. If you do this before actually shampooing your tresses, it can help to lift your hair's cuticles; that way, each strand is able to absorb both the water as well as the products that you're about to apply so much easier.
You can steam your hair by either using an actual hair steamer. Or, if money is a little tight right now, another approach is to simply stand in the back of your shower (so that the water doesn't get all over you), with the water as hot as possible and with your bathroom door closed for a good 7-10 minutes. As a bonus, your face can get a little bit of a steam detox treatment too.
3. Treat Your Scalp
Before we get into how to properly wash your hair in a way that will help you to save time, let's talk about your scalp for a hot sec, shall we? After all, it is the foundation of your hair. Since it's not hard to collect build-up that can irritate your scalp, I'm a big fan of detoxing it before shampooing and conditioning your hair. Don't worry—it actually sounds like more complex of a process than it actually is. You can decide which kind of detoxing you'd prefer to do by checking out the article on our site entitled, "Treat Your Scalp To A Little Bit Of Detoxing This Weekend".
4. Don’t Forget to Pre-Poo
Once your hair is all steamed up and your scalp is detoxed (the steam can help to open up your pores which makes the detoxing process more potent), it's now time to apply one more prep step and that's to do some pre-pooing. The long short of this is it's all about applying an oil to your hair, basically for two main purposes. For one thing, the oil can help to add a little more moisture to your hair which can help to protect it from any stripping of natural oils that shampooing might do. Secondly, pre-pooing makes the next step that I'm about to discuss oh, so much easier. Just make sure that you go with an oil that will nourish your locks. Coconut, avocado, jojoba, grapeseed and even virgin olive oil are all really good ones. Simply wet your hair with lukewarm water and apply a healthy amount of oil to your hair; not enough to make it all greasy, but definitely enough that it gives your tresses enough "slip" to make it super manageable.
5. Then Do Some Detangling
It's gonna be pretty difficult to thoroughly wash your hair, if it's all stuck together and/or tied up in knots. That's why it's a good idea to do some detangling before you actually apply any product. Once your hair is wet and your preferred oil of choice is applied, I recommend using your fingers—at least first—before using a detangling comb. Wet hair is mad fragile, so you don't want to immediately start hacking away at your hair with a styling tool. Anyway, make sure that you start, not at the roots of your hair but actually the ends. Feel around for any fairy knots and try and separate them with your fingers. Then work your way up the shaft. Once you can, at least for the most part, run your hands through your hair, you can then separate your hair even more with a detangling comb. If you need some help with figuring out which detangling comb (or brush) would be best for your hair, I checked out a few YouTube videos that can probably point you into the right direction. You can view them yourself here, here and here.
6. Use a Sulfate-Free Shampoo
Our scalp tends to collect a fair share of sweat (especially if you work out on a regular basis) while our hair gets full of dirt and product over a period of time. This is why it's necessary to have a wash day, to begin with. As far as how often you should shampoo (and condition) your hair, it kind of depends on your own hair type and lifestyle. However, a lot of professional stylists would recommend that unless your hair is type 1-3a (because those types have strands that are straighter which makes it easier for our body's natural oils to run completely down the shaft which causes the hair to get oily faster), every 10-14 days is pretty standard. The reason why you shouldn't wash your hair more than that is that there is such a thing as "overdoing it"—stripping your hair of the natural moisture that it has and needs which can cause your hair to become dry and brittle which can ultimately cause breakage.
Whew. Now with all of that said, just make sure that you avoid sulfate shampoos. The reason why is because they contain ingredients that can further strip your hair. There is just one caveat to this particular tip. If you've been using a lot of product and you need to make sure that you remove all of it, a sulfate shampoo can help to get the job done. Just make sure that you don't incorporate it into your wash day routine on a regular basis and that you definitely deep condition your hair after using it in order to replace the moisture that was lost.
As far as the kind of sulfate-free shampoos that are best, I personally use shampoo bars that are made of honey and/or Jamaican black castor oil (Etsy has many options). Also, Naturally Curly did us all a solid with their article "Top 30 Sulfate-Free Shampoos". You can probably find a shampoo that is just perfect for you there as well.
Oh, and for those of you who may be like, "So, what about co-washing instead of shampooing?" Eh. That's something that is totally up to your own discretion. What I will say is if you do decide to "wash" your hair with conditioner rather than with shampoo, at least try and shampoo your hair, every third wash day. While co-washing can help your hair to retain even more moisture, there comes a time in every woman's life when her hair needs some old-fashioned washing. Feel me?
7. Shampoo in Sections
If one of the main reasons why you semi-loathe wash day is because your hair seems to end up a matted mess, that's probably because you don't wash your hair in sections. Once you've finished shampooing, apply a little of the pre-poo oil that you already used to your fingers and then section your hair off into four main parts. If you want, you can hold each piece with plastic—not metal, plastic—hair clips. Then, wash each section, one at a time. That way, you can effectively clean all of your hair (and scalp) without your hair getting all tangled up in the process.
8. Deep Condition
I honestly don't think that I will ever do an article on hair care where I won't recommend deep conditioning locks. Ever since I've made a point and purpose to do it, my hair has felt so much softer and I've been able to retain so much more length. Deep conditioning is all about applying a conditioner to your hair and letting it sit for more than just a couple of minutes. As I said earlier, I try and let mine fully saturate the cuticles of my hair for at least 1-2 hours; sometimes, even overnight.
While you could use pretty much any conditioner, my personal recommendation is to look for one that is "branded" as being a deep conditioner (Essence has a cool list here). Those tend to be thicker in consistency which can help to give your hair more moisture. An added tip would be to add some Chebe powder to your conditioner; it'll help to restore the pH balance of your hair while also making it feel super soft. I use it every wash day and I've definitely seen a difference since I started adding it to my hair routine.
9. Let Your Locks Air Dry as Much as Possible
Now that your hair is all clean and well-conditioned, it's time to start prepping it for styling. While some people are extremely anti-heat, I'm actually not that girl. I've found that blow drying my hair on wash days (and then not really using any heat on my hair until the next wash day rolls around) has helped to reduce tangles and fairy knots. The key is to get a quality dryer, to allow your hair to air dry at least 50-60 percent before applying any heat, to use a cream-based thermal heat protectant on your hair, and to make sure that your blow dryer is set to no higher than medium. Applying all of these tips (not just one, all) will significantly decrease your chances of hair damage. It can also really speed up the time it takes to finish up your hair routine on wash day.
10. Put Your Hair into a Protective Style
While I would really like to have my soul glowin', every day of the week, I've gotta admit that I experience a lot less breakage when I keep my hair in a protective style during the weekday and then let it do its own thing, in all of its glory, on the weekend. For the record, a protective style doesn't have to be braids or twists. It can also be a wig or weave. Whatever you decide to do, the objective should be to do what you can to keep the ends of your hair from being exposed to the outer elements while keeping you from manipulating your tresses a lot.
Welp. That's it. It might seem like a lot at first, but once you get into the swing of this routine, you should be able to finish in three hours or so (even less if you opt to deep condition your hair for only thirty minutes or so). Anyway, here's to healthy and clean tresses, sis. The kind of hair that makes it well worth enduring…wash day.
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next October (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
Exclusive: Brandee Evans On Faith, Fibroids, And Chosen Family
Do you remember your first time at The Pynk?
We were first introduced to Mercedes at Uncle Clifford’s beloved strip joint, a matrix of secrets and self-discovery nestled deep in the heart of the Mississippi Delta. Brandee Evans, who plays the ambitious single mother and seasoned dancer in the STARZ original P-Valley, quickly won our hearts and has since earned widespread critical acclaim.
Her captivating command of the pole left many of us intrigued, perhaps even tempted, to explore pole dancing ourselves after witnessing the mesmerizing performances at Mercedes Sunday. But it wasn’t just her physical prowess that kept us hooked. Mercedes is a character of depth—empowering, complex, relatable, and deeply human.
These are qualities that Brandee embodies both on and off the screen.
(L-R) Marque Richardson and Brandee Evans on 'UnPrisoned' Season 2
Courtesy: Hulu
A Memphis native, Brandee is no stranger to dance. She boasts an impressive career as a choreographer, having worked with renowned artists like Katy Perry, Monica, Ke$ha, and Ledisi. But while it has been a significant part of her journey, Brandee has her sights set on more—expanding her acting career beyond dance-inclusive roles. This ambition nearly led her to pass on the opportunity to appear alongside Kerry Washington in Hulu’s UnPrisoned, where she plays Ava, Mal's (Marque Richardson) new girlfriend.
“When Kerry Washington slid into my DMs, I nearly said no,” Brandee revealed with a laugh. “She mentioned pole dancing, and I told myself and my team that once I was done with Mercedes, I wasn’t going to do that again.” Fortunately, Washington assured her that the role would be vastly different, leading to what Brandee described as an invaluable masterclass in comedy under the guidance of Washington herself.
“Kerry is a force of nature,” Brandee reflected. “She’s everything you’d hope she’d be—strong, compassionate, and incredibly talented. Working with her was like a masterclass in acting.” This opportunity was no mere stroke of luck; it was something Brandee had manifested years earlier. But make no mistake–she credits her faith and praying hands for her success. “I’m praying, you know what I mean? I’m asking God for what I want and working for it too,” she said.
"When Kerry Washington slid into my DMs, I nearly said no."
(L-R) Brandee Evans, Kerry Washington, and Marque Richardson on 'UnPrisoned' Season 2
Courtesy: Hulu
This role marked Brandee’s first foray into comedy, and while she was eager to embrace the challenge, she found herself in the hands of an incredible mentor. “Kerry was always so kind in her critiques,” Brandee noted. “She’s not a diva by any means. She knows exactly what she wants, but she’s gentle and encouraging in bringing it out of you. That’s something I’ve taken with me to other sets—I want to lead with the same kindness and openness that Kerry showed me. It’s a lesson I’ll carry for the rest of my life.”
Brandee speaks with profound respect and gratitude for her peers and fellow actresses as many have shown her genuine sisterhood and support in an industry often notorious for its competitiveness. “Danielle Brooks sent me a prayer the other day, and I was just so touched. Those are the moments that people don’t see,” she shared. “I call Sheryll Lee Ralph my fairy godmother, and Loretta Devine is like my auntie. Being able to pick up the phone and seek advice from these incredible women is a true blessing.”
And she pays it forward.
Brandee Evans
Courtesy: Hulu
But her commitment to supporting others extends far beyond her career. As an advocate for health and wellness, she empowers women to prioritize their well-being. “Azaria [Carter], who plays my daughter on P-Valley, mentioned wanting to start a weight loss journey and get more fit. I told her, ‘Well, let’s work out together,’” Brandee recounted. But her dedication to healthy living goes beyond physical fitness, encompassing a holistic approach to wellness. “When she came to my house and tried to microwave something in plastic, I said, ‘Let’s use glass instead. At 20, I wasn’t thinking about that, but let me share some tips now so you’re not battling fibroids in your 30s.’”
Because she was.
While filming the first season of P-Valley, Brandee faced enormous stress—not only as a caregiver for her mother, who was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, but also due to the physical demands of the role. Yet the impact on her body was far greater than she expected. “I was literally on my cycle every day while playing a stripper, which is far from ideal,” Brandee revealed. It was Harriet D. Foy, who plays her mother, who urged her to get checked for fibroids.
"I was literally on my cycle every day while playing a stripper, which is far from ideal."
Brandee Evans graces the 2024 ESSENCE Black Women In Hollywood Awards Ceremony.
Arnold Turner/Getty Images for ESSENCE
The statistics are staggering—80% of Black women develop abnormal uterine growths by age 50, making them more likely to suffer from fibroids than any other racial group. But like many, Brandee was initially unaware of these growths and their debilitating effects, and the prospect of surgery was daunting. “I was scheduled to have a myomectomy on my birthday, but I thought about what it would mean for my career. How am I going to climb the pole? The healing process is similar to a C-section.” Determined to avoid surgery, she committed to healing herself naturally.
After a deep dive, she sought treatment at The Herb Shop of Vinings in Atlanta, which ultimately led to a remarkable recovery. “This man saves lives. His name is Jeff, and I call him my doctor.” Brandee shared. “I started detoxing my body with herbs and following his program. During my follow-up with the gynecologist, they said, ‘We don’t know what you’re doing, but your fibroids are shrinking.’”
Emerging on the other side of this journey not only fibroid-free but with a regulated cycle and a renewed outlook on life, Brandee is now focused on sharing her story and advocating for women’s health. “I know y’all want to hear about P-Valley, but I want to talk about regulating your period,” she said with a laugh.
Of course, she didn’t leave fans hanging when it came to what to expect in the upcoming season. “It is worth the wait. The world is about to go crazy. Oh, the world is about to lose it,” Brandee teased. “Y’all might be mad at us right now, but baby, it’s going to be worth it.”
All episodes of Season 2 of UnPrisoned are now streaming on Hulu.
Featured image courtesy of Hulu
How To Know If You're Following Your Destiny, According To Astrology
Your destiny can be defined as fate or the hidden power believed to control what happens in your future. Some say your destiny is not set in stone and can be changed or redirected over time. Others say you come into this life with events in the future predestined for you.
North Node In Astrology Meaning
Astrology considers both approaches regarding destiny and defines this phenomenon through the North Node. The North Node represents the direction toward your evolution, life lessons, your calling, and destiny in this lifetime. It is the area of astrology you want to go to when looking at the full picture of your life, your future potential, and where you should be directing your energy and intentions. “Living your best life” is living like your North Node sign.
The North and South Node In Astrology
The North Node or the “True Node” is one of two lunar nodes that form an axis, with the South Node on the other end. The North Node is where the Moon moves into the northern ecliptic hemisphere. The South Node is where the Moon enters the southern ecliptic hemisphere.
The North Node represents the aspects of your life you need to develop for spiritual growth and to fulfill your destiny in this lifetime.
We often feel challenged the more we pull away from our North Node energy, and it helps shape identity and purpose in the long haul. The South Node represents your past karma, what you already know, and the energy you are moving away from in this lifetime.
In short, you want to be more like your North Node sign and less like your South Node sign. You will know if you are following your destiny by how well you connect with the aspects of your North Node sign and when you have fully embodied and embraced the archetype of this sign.
What Does Your North Node Tell You?
Think about some of the traits, essence, and characteristics of your North Node sign that you admire, and start there. Connect with what types of purpose, careers, life paths, or directions this sign typically takes in life, and define which ones you feel called to most.
Once you can step fully into your North Node energy and have learned the lessons it comes with, you will feel personal fulfillment on a deep level and be aligned with your destiny or be able to shape it.
Read on for your North Node sign below to see how you can follow your destiny and live at your highest potential:
North Node in Aries Meaning
You are working through being more self-reliant in this lifetime. Independence, freedom, confidence, and inner resilience are the energy you need to enhance your life to live your full potential. Staying active, getting your body moving, and exercising all help you get in the right head space and think clearly, especially about your future.
You are learning how to take more action, go after the things you want, be direct, and leave toxic relationships unapologetically in this life. You are following your destiny when you are putting yourself first and aligned with independence rather than interdependence.
South Node energy that you are working on letting go and moving on from in this lifetime: Libra
North Node in Taurus Meaning
A North Node in Taurus teaches you to be more self-sufficient in financial matters and to always be able to count on yourself. You want to move away from being too reliant on others by finding a deep sense of confidence and stability within.
Building a life for yourself, being financially responsible, not giving more financially than you have, having financial independence, and being willing to be vulnerable with others is important. You are following your destiny when you are being consistent, standing by your word, and keeping the promises you make.
South Node energy that you are working on letting go and moving on from in this lifetime: Scorpio
North Node in Gemini Meaning
Communication is very important for you and your destiny in this lifetime. The conversations you have with others hold significance, and you learn a lot through the different types of connections you make in life. Being outgoing, getting out of your comfort zone, being involved in your local community, and being around a lot of movement serve you well.
Having good friends and mental connections around you is everything for your well-being in life and purpose. You are following your destiny when you are sharing your ideas, connecting with people, and saying what you truly mean.
South Node energy that you are working on letting go and moving on from in this lifetime: Sagittarius
North Node in Cancer Meaning
With a North Node in Cancer, your purpose or destiny involves nurturing yourself and others. You have motherly energy to embody in this lifetime, and you feel more aligned with your purpose when you can live in compassion, let go of overworking, and give yourself some TLC. In past lifetimes, a lot of your life was surrounded by work, and you put all of your energy into your accomplishments.
In this lifetime, you are learning how to care for yourself more, find self-love, and build a supportive family or emotional support system for yourself. You are following your destiny when you are in a space of comfort and safety and have a strong home base.
South Node energy that you are working on letting go and moving on from in this lifetime: Capricorn
North Node in Leo Meaning
A North Node in Leo signifies that your destiny involves aligning with your higher self and living life boldly and with proud confidence. You are meant to show up, shine your light, and take up space. You are working on being the leader of your life, letting go of shyness or isolation, and making yourself or your energy known in the world.
Use your creativity to your advantage and put your work and intentions out there. You are destined for the spotlight, and you are following your destiny when you are taking on these types of opportunities, have a strong sense of self, and are confident in yourself.
South Node energy that you are working on letting go and moving on from in this lifetime: Aquarius
North Node in Virgo Meaning
Following your destiny involves being logical, critical thinking, being direct, and being more communicative. You are meant to evolve mentally in this life and to move away from a more spiritual perspective to a logical one. Spirituality is still important, but in past lifetimes, you got lost in this area of your life, and now you are learning how to be logical and realistic as well.
Helping others is also a part of your destiny with a North Node in Virgo, and the daily rituals and routines you have are beneficial to teach the people around you. You are following your destiny when you are healing, thinking logically, and creating healthy boundaries in your life.
South Node energy that you are working on letting go and moving on from in this lifetime: Pisces
North Node in Libra Meaning
With a North Node in Libra, love, partnerships, and the connections you form in life are significant to your destiny. You are meant to communicate, connect, understand romance on a deeper level, and be in union in this lifetime. You are also learning the importance of thinking before speaking, not being too impulsive or reckless, and working cooperatively with others.
In past lifetimes, you were too independent, brash, and more of a lone wolf, and in this lifetime, you are learning how to connect more. You are following your destiny when you are being diplomatic, considering another's needs, and having balance.
South Node energy that you are working on letting go and moving on from in this lifetime: Aries
North Node in Scorpio Meaning
Patience, dedication, and following your intuition are aligned with your destiny with a North Node in Scorpio. You have a lot of potential to gain financially through marriage or an inheritance with this placement, and this is a good sign for wealth in this lifetime.
However, with a Taurus South Node, you are working on letting go of being too frugal or envious in financial matters, releasing attachments more, and honoring the more spiritual sides of life. You are following your purpose when you have a good balance between giving and receiving in your life and when you are not over-controlling things.
South Node energy that you are working on letting go and moving on from in this lifetime: Taurus
North Node in Sagittarius Meaning
With a North Node in Sagittarius, you have a natural philosophical and explorative mindset. You are working on embracing new opportunities, getting out of your comfort zone, traveling, and living life on your own terms in this lifetime. It’s important to travel, learn, pursue higher education, and expand in life.
You are moving away from your Gemini South Node energy, which is about being easily distracted, oversharing, being indecisive, or not standing by your word. You are following your purpose when you are growing your mind, exploring new places, meeting new people, and making confident decisions for yourself.
South Node energy that you are working on letting go and moving on from in this lifetime: Gemini
North Node in Capricorn Meaning
With a North Node in Capricorn, you are meant to grow financially and establish yourself in this lifetime. You have a lot of potential to make some great accomplishments, and you are destined to thrive in career matters. You are aligned with your destiny when you are working towards a goal or intention of yours and when you are building a legacy for yourself.
With Cancer on the South Node, you are moving away from feeling like you have to mother or nurture everyone and instead giving yourself that compassion and care. You are learning emotional discipline in this lifetime and are following your destiny when you have a healthy work-life balance.
South Node energy that you are working on letting go and moving on from in this lifetime: Cancer
North Node in Aquarius
You are aligned with your destiny when you have a humanitarian and open-minded perspective. You are meant to think about the collective as a whole, progress, and leave the world a better place. You have a lot of visions for the future and can be quite psychic as well. Manifesting your dreams and desires is significant, and you are learning how to strengthen this internal power.
It’s important to move away from egotistical pursuits, conforming to societal rules, or being too selfish as well with this energy. Overall, you are following your destiny when you are giving a voice to the voiceless, being your authentic self, and contributing to society in some way.
South Node energy that you are working on letting go and moving on from in this lifetime: Leo
North Node in Pisces Meaning
With a North Node in Pisces, following your destiny means following your heart and never giving up the dream. You are moving away from needing to have all of the facts and letting logic rule over your emotions in this lifetime. Getting creative, pursuing artistry, healing, and having compassion for yourself and others are all aligned with your purpose.
You are a true visionary and have a lot of creative potential and gifts to bring to the world. You are following your destiny when you are emotionally regulating, honoring your spirituality, and creating.
South Node energy that you are working on letting go and moving on from in this lifetime: Virgo
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