Kehlani is the epitome of authenticity as the singer and songwriter use their talents and platform to address real-life situations, particularly in their music regarding relationships.
They first gained recognition as a member of the group Poplyfe on America's Got Talent in 2011. Following this, Kehlani embarked on a successful solo career, releasing mixtapes like You Should Be Here and their debut album SweetSexySavage. SweetSexySavage reached number 3 on the Billboard Hot 200 chart and earned Kehlani a Grammy nomination for the hit song "Distraction."
Throughout their career, Kehlani has continued to release music, including mixtapes and albums. Recently, the star has been gearing up for the release of their fourth studio album, Crash, set to drop on June 21.
Aside from their musical achievements, the 29-year-old has been open about their personal life, discussing their identity, sexuality, and past relationships. Prior to publicly identifying as a lesbian in 2021, they had dated individuals of various genders within the entertainment industry.
In this piece, xoNecole looks back at Kehlani's romantic relationships and the lessons they've learned.
PARTYNEXTDOOR
One of Kehlani's high-profile relationships was with singer and producer PARTYNEXTDOOR.
Although there are conflicting timelines regarding when the pair began dating, it was reported that their romance started as early as 2013. Throughout their union, Kehlani and PARTYNEXTDOOR remained relatively private. One instance where the "Recognize" singer hinted at the duo's relationship was in 2015, the same year they allegedly called it quits.
After their breakup, PARTYNEXTDOOR released a song titled "Kehlani's Freestyle," which would ultimately be renamed "Things & Such." The drama between the exes didn't stop there. In 2016, when Kehlani was reportedly dating NBA star Kyrie Irving, PARTYNEXTDOOR notoriously uploaded a photo of him and the "Honey" vocalist holding hands with a subliminal message.
"After all her shenanigans, still got the R&B singer back in my bed," he wrote in the caption.
While the exact timeline of when the photos were taken is unclear, it didn't stop Kehlani from facing backlash due to cheating allegations. Despite denying the cheating rumors, the online pressure and torment took a toll on Kehlani when they were hospitalized in March 2016 for attempting to commit suicide.
In a now-deleted Instagram post, Kehlani explained their mindset and stood firm on their previous remarks about their union with Kyrie. The "Distraction" songstress added that they rekindled their relationship with PARTYNEXTDOOR after both parties realized it wasn't working out.
Kehlani and PARTYNEXTDOOR's reignited romance didn't last long because the pair would split for good that same year.
Kyrie Irving
Shortly following their first breakup with PARTYNEXTDOOR, Kehlani began dating Kyrie Iriving in 2016.
The former couple paraded their relationship publicly by sharing various posts online and providing insight about why the pair was a good match. In an interview with ILY magazine, Kehlani revealed that their union was special because their foundation was solely built on friendship.
"I think this is the first time that I've ever been able to really be myself at all times," they said. "In the sense of being incredibly goofy with someone and being based on a best friendship."
Sadly, Kehlani's romance with the Dallas Mavericks guard would be short-lived. The duo would go their separate ways before PARTYNEXTDOOR's social media post. Despite their breakup and the alleged cheating scandal, Kyrie came to Kehlani's defense after they were harassed on social media, which resulted in their hospitalization.
In a series of tweets, Kyrie wished the star well and confirmed that he and Kehlani weren't dating when the snapshot was released.
"I do not justify the picture or what dude did to try and spark all of this nonsense that could have been avoided, but me and Kehlani were not dating when the picture came out," he said.
Years after their break up in 2018, Kyrie issued an apology to Kehlani on social media for not speaking up sooner.
Shania Negron
Kehlani and Shania Negron
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Kehlani and tattoo artist Shania Negron were romantically linked in 2017.
Although there aren't many details regarding the pair's union, including how they met and when they started dating, Kehlani and Shania shared fragments of their life by making joint appearances at various events. That same year, the duo's relationship would come to an end.
In a 2018 interview with Queen Radio, Kehlani disclosed that the exes have remained friends despite the split.
"We've been just friends since then," they said. "That relationship actually wasn't very long, but me and her are super cool now."
Javaughn Young-White
In 2018, Kehlani made headlines when they posted on their social media platforms that they were expecting their first child, sparking attention to the father's identity. Although the "Nunya" songstress didn't release the person's name at the time of the announcement, it was later revealed that the child's father was a guitarist and long-time collaborator, Javaughn Young-White.
In an interview with Queen Radio, Kehlani opened up about their relationship with Javaughn and their planned pregnancy.
"When I found out that I can get a break from touring because I've been primarily a touring artist, that's when I planned for it for this time," they said. "It was planned so we had a short time frame of having to actually have sex every day. And we were excited that it didn't start feeling like a chore."
Further into the conversation, the "Can I" singer disclosed why Javaughn was an ideal match.
"I started dating women before I ever dated men," they said. "Then, I was lucky to find a partner who was a bisexual male. And he really understands my queerness and my fluidity, and I really understand his. It's very awesome to be understood."
A few months later, in March 2019, Kehlani and Javaughn welcomed their daughter, Adeya Nomi. Despite their daughter's arrival, the pair would ultimately call it quits. Since then, Kehlani and Javaughn have remained close friends and co-parents.
YG
Kehlani and YG
Photo by TM/Bauer-Griffin/GC Images
Kehlani's dating status made headlines once again in September 2019 after they revealed in a now-deleted Instagram post that they were dating YG. This news came after the pair attended New York Fashion Week together.
Despite the grand announcement about their relationship, Kehlani and YG's union would be plagued by numerous splits and allegations of infidelity on the rapper's part. The former couple's final breakup would occur on Valentine's Day 2020, around the same time they would release a joint song titled "Konclusions."
Days later, in response to the record, Kehlani released "Valentine's Day (Shameful)," which highlighted the painful experience they endured finding out that their partner was unfaithful.
Since that time, Kehlani and YG have remained on friendly terms.
Victoria Monét
In a jaw-dropping revelation during a 2023 interview, Victoria Monét finally ended years of speculation by confirming her brief romance with Kehlani. While appearing on the High Low podcast, the "On My Mama" vocalist revealed that the pair were seeing each other in 2020. This subject arose when Victoria was asked how her significant other, John Gaines, handles jealousy.
"While pregnant, I did a 'Touch Me' remix with Kehlani, and the song is about her. We went in the studio, [and] there was no jealousy," she said.
The mother of one also added that although the pair didn't work out, they are still friends.
070 Shake
Kehlani and 070 Shake sparked romance rumors in early 2021 when they were caught engaging in public displays of affection. Before taking their relationship to the next level, the pair had been friends for six years.
Shortly after the rumors began circulating online, Kehlani and 070 Shake confirmed they were an item. 070 Shake even appeared in the singer’s music video for “Melt.” However, in 2022, they wiped all shared photos of each other from their respective social media pages and unfollowed one another, sparking breakup allegations. The “Gangsta” songstress verified the split by sharing a cryptic post on their Instagram story.
"Play stupid games, win stupid prizes," they wrote.
Kiara Russell
In December 2022, Kehlani publicly debuted their relationship with basketball player Kiara Russell in a now-removed TikTok video. In the clip, the pair were seen lounging on the couch and exchanging kisses.
Kiara followed suit by uploading a colossal of photos, one of which included the pair out on date. The basketball star captioned the post, "love n happiness dump."
Since then, the status of the duo's relationship has remained unclear because most of Kehlani's posts featuring Kiara have been removed from their social media platforms.
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While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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You know, sometimes, when I go back and look at some of the articles that I’ve penned for the platform before, I truly can’t believe how fast time flies. Take the piece, “What's The Difference Between Being 'Religious' And Being 'Spiritual', Anyway?” — now, how in the world did it turn five this year? I can’t even begin to wrap my mind around it. And although the piece does address some key points — like the fact that there is somewhat of a difference between being spiritual and being religious (although more people should read James 1:27 in order to understand how the Bible defines religion to be…it just might surprise them) — I want to explore a deeper angle of our spirituality, along with what we should require of it.
Today, let’s look at spirituality from the perspective of “the quality of being concerned with the human spirit or soul as opposed to material or physical things,” “a quality that goes beyond religious affiliation, that strives for inspiration, reverence, awe, meaning and purpose…” (Murray and Zentner) and, perhaps, more than anything else, “the relationship between ourselves and something larger."
You know, it’s a woman by the name of Dr. Maya Spencer who once said, “Spirituality means knowing that our lives have significance in a context beyond a mundane everyday existence at the level of biological needs that drive selfishness and aggression. It means knowing that we are a significant part of a purposeful unfolding of Life in our universe.” Indeed.
And while keeping that in mind, if this is a time of your life when you would like to “clean or cleanse your spirituality” by doing things like removing negative energy, getting rid of old or counterproductive patterns and/or by stepping into an elevated space as far as your human spirit and soul are concerned, you might be pleasantly surprised by how easy and even fun that can be for you to do.
To effectively clean/cleanse your spirit, start by asking — and answering — the following five spirituality-focused questions:
What Inspires You?
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Remember how, in the intro, I shared that one definition of spirituality is “a quality that goes beyond religious affiliation, that strives for inspiration, reverence, awe, meaning and purpose…”? That is actually where I am pulling a lot of these questions from because, the reality is that focusing on things that inspire you, intentionally pondering your purpose, and also by encouraging yourself to become an overall better human being — these things definitely tie into your spiritual side whether you are “traditionally religious” or not.
And so, when it comes to cleansing your spirituality in this season, a great question to start off with is what actually inspires you? And listen, believe it or not, inspire is a pretty layered word. I say that because, while one definition is “to produce or arouse (a feeling, thought, etc.),” another is “to communicate or suggest by a divine or supernatural influence,” while synonyms of the word include excite, affect, cause, motivate, provoke, and instill. This means that if you truly want to say or do things from a place of inspiration, you need to produce things from a divine or supernatural space (interesting, right?).
The reason why it’s so important to “spring clean” in this department is, oftentimes you can be motivated or provoked by things that aren’t really all that good, healthy and/or beneficial for you (social media fast, anyone?) — things that take your mind off of what’s divine — sacred, godly and extremely good. As a result, you find yourself producing out of a mind and heart space that is compromised when it comes to your core standards, values, and even goals.
So yes, in the effort to cleanse your spirituality, begin by really reflecting on what you claim inspires you — then revisit what the word actually means…just to be sure that you are being honest with yourself about whether something or one is truly inspiring you…or not.
What Amplifies Your Purpose?
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Purpose is always something that is going to be a pretty big deal to me. That’s why I’ve written articles for the platform like “What Does It Mean To Have 'Purposeful Relationships'?,” “Please Stop Picking People Who Don't 'Fit' Your Purpose,” “The Conversation You Need To Have With Yourself Before The New Year Begins,” “How To Handle 'Purpose Fatigue'” and “5 Signs You Are Living Your True Purpose.” It’s because really, if you’re not focused, most of all, on the reason why you exist in the first place, nothing else is going to be fully, truly, and authentically fulfilling for you.
So, when it comes to this part of your spirituality, first take some time to make sure that you know what your purpose is. If you have no clue and you’re ready to find out, as a wise person once said, wisdom comes in the questions, even more than the answers, and Rockwood Leadership Institute has a whopping 132 questions that you can ask yourself in order to get to the root of what your purpose is here. On the flip side, if you do know and you’re just not feeling completely satisfied in what you are currently doing as it relates to executing your purpose, it sounds to me like you are going through a bit of a “purpose growth spurt,” and yes, there is such a thing.
For instance, I am very clear on what my purpose in life is — I am here to teach what I study and research about when it comes to the topics of covenant marriage, sex, and the biblical Sabbath. All are covenant principles that have been unbelievably compromised in a thousand different ways. However, as I evolve, transform, and mature, my understanding of what I know does as well, and that “upgrades” how I approach and share my purpose with others. You see, purpose is never supposed to be stagnant…it is ever-shifting as far as how you accomplish things within it.
And that’s why, spiritually, it’s so important that you make sure that you are AMPLIFYING YOUR PURPOSE. To amplify is “to make larger, greater, or stronger; enlarge; extend.” If you are not putting forth the effort to do just this, there is some spiritual cleansing that must be done because, if there is one thing about a person’s purpose, it’s the fact that it’s HUGE which means that there will always be plenty to do within it until their time on this earth ends.
What Makes You Love Better…and More?
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I believe I’ve mentioned before that a show that I loathe with every fiber of my being (and there really is so much to choose from these days — SMDH) is TV One’s For My Man. Not only is it a program that discourages full-level accountability, but it irks me to no end every time that it says that a woman did some heinous crime in the name of love. According to Scripture, GOD IS LOVE (I John 4:8&16). Not only that, but the Love Chapter in Scripture has a very healthy, sane, and mature take on how we should love and require love in return (I’m going to share two translations of I Corinthians 13:4-8 for expanded context):
“Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut, doesn’t have a swelled head, doesn’t force itself on others, isn’t always ‘me first,’ doesn’t fly off the handle, doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, doesn’t revel when others grovel, takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, puts up with anything, trusts God always, always looks for the best, never looks back, but keeps going to the end. Love never dies.” (I Corinthians 13 — Message)
“Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily. It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong]. It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail. Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening]. Love never fails [never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end].” (I Corinthians 13 — AMPC)
Now, think about what you see displayed on television when it comes to relationships. Based on these verses, is it love? Is it really? Ponder all of the relationship content that’s on social media. Does it sound like this kind of love? Does it really? The times when you’ve done things that you know were purely rooted in selfishness, impatience, and/or refusing to do for others what you would want them to do for you — how can any of that be loving? If you do believe in God and you also believe that you were made in his image (Genesis 1:26-28), this means that a part of your own spiritual DNA is love. This also means that if you know that your love has been tainted by material or physical things (which, by definition, is the opposite of spirituality), it’s time to make some real adjustments.
That said, take some time, think about the people and things that you profess to love, and ask yourself if it’s really love or is it lust or entitlement or immaturity. Then ask yourself what you can do to love those individuals and items better.
Remember, since you are made from Love, it’s important that you love like you are.
How Effective Are You When It Comes to Compassion?
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Personally, I think that whenever someone does something reckless and then follows up with the Bible says not to judge, I find it to be a supreme level of gaslighting. The context of that verse is saying that in the way that you judge, you will be judged and that you should make sure that you are right in the area that you are judging before you judge someone else (Matthew 7:1-5); however, be clear that judgment is a form of accountability which is why there are also verses like “Do not judge according to appearance, but judge with righteous judgment” (John 7:24 — NKJV) that exist — not to mention the fact that discernment literally means “keen judgment” and the Good Book supremely promotes that: “Strike a scoffer, and the simple will become wary; rebuke one who has understanding, and hewill discern knowledge.” (Proverbs 19:25 — NKJV)
And that’s why, any time the topic of “don’t judge” comes up, I am known for saying something along the lines of, “PUH-LEEZE. If I say ‘You’re cute,’ I just judged you. Humans don’t have a problem with judgment; they don’t like criticism or accountability.” And gee, is that unfortunate because it’s hard to grow without both of those things. However, the key that comes with being on the giving end of criticism or holding someone accountable is applying a quote by author Anne McCaffrey: “Make no judgments where you have no compassion.”
This world has a lot of…stuff going on, stuff that needs to be addressed and stuff that needs compassion applied while it is. By definition, compassion is about having concern for others, especially if what you see them going through, they have either told you or you can discern is tied to some level of internal suffering. And that’s why, in the spirit of spiritual cleansing, something else to ask is if you are holding others and even yourself accountable while operating from a place of genuine care and concern or is your ego just wanting to elevate itself or prove that it’s right?
You know, we’re living in a time when, more and more, people are frowning on humility which is unfortunate because a definite quality that comes with being a compassionate person is absolutely that — “By humility and the fear of the Lord are riches and honor and life.” (Proverbs 22:4 — NKJV)
It really is almost impossible to be profoundly spiritual without being a compassionate person. Is this an area that needs some “cleaning up”? If so, there is no time like the present.
What Encourages You to Be Wiser and Full of More Truth?
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Musician Jimi Hendrix once said, “Knowledge speaks, wisdom listens.” Aristotle once said, “Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” Confucius once said, “By three methods we may learn wisdom: first, by reflection, which is the noblest; second, by imitation, which is the easiest; and third, by experience, which is the bitterest." Thomas Jefferson once said, “The wisest men know their weakness.” Author Gift Gugu Mona once said, “A woman of peace is a wise woman who understands that peace is more powerful than trying to prove a point.”
And what does it mean to be wise?
People who can regulate their emotions are wise. People who actually learn from their experiences (and the experiences of others, so that they don’t have to experience everything) are wise. People who know how to tame their ego are wise. People who are flexible/adaptable, non-materialistic, are self-aware, can be relied upon for great perspectives and insights, and are teachable are wise. The self-disciplined are wise. The patient are wise. The non-entitled are wise. Those who prioritize well are wise.
Those who do not live above their means (across the board), they are also wise. And there is no way that you can be wise without being willing to be completely honest, yes truthful with yourself about where you could stand to gain more wisdom and what must be done — and sometimes sacrificed — in order to get it.
And so, as I close this piece out, when it comes to spring cleaning your spirituality, ask yourself who and what encourages and enables you to become a wiser individual — AND who and what hinders that from transpiring. Then be honest with yourself about what is challenging you for the better and what, frankly, is only dumbing you down. Indeed, in order to live out the full potential of your spirituality, wisdom must come into play. However, it’s important to keep in mind that, for wisdom to truly flourish, it is a conscious choice — a daily decision.
And it will never come so long as you are making up excuses, justifying poor behavior (check out “Accountability Time: Let's Stop Calling It A 'Mistake' When It Was A 'Choice'”) or lying to yourself about what needs to be done. Taking those approaches to life is literally the opposite of being wise.
A French priest by the name of Pierre Teilhard de Chardin once said, “We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” I can only imagine how much the quality of our lives would improve if we took that in on a very serious level.
The good news is you can choose to do it — right here and right now.
See yourself as a spiritual being.
Clean/cleanse whatever hinders that reality.
And watch how you begin to soar, supernaturally, by design, because of it, sis.
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