Quantcast
Gotham/WireImage

Kehlani Is In The ‘Business of Doing Whatever The F***’ She Wants To Do

Life is short, why not do what moves you?

Celebrity News

Kehlani is living her life on her own terms. The Grammy-nominated artist has experienced many ups and downs and went through a journey of self-identity in the public eye. Now, she is just focusing on the simple things in her life that make her happy. The mother of one opened up about her newfound perception of life in a 24 Hours with Kehlani video for Vogue. After joining the religion of La Regla de Ocha, she said that a spirit told her that “less will always be more for me and my daughter.” It didn’t register for the 27-year-old until she came across her now home in Topanga, CA. Tucked away from the hustle and bustle of Los Angeles, she finally feels like she can breathe with her daughter Adeya Nomi.


“I think I underestimated what I needed and then I had a kid,” she said. “Now, I get to see the reflection of what a human needs: air and sun and food and water, and animals and joy. I think seeing her get all that, it reflected that I needed to prioritize this as my home life as well and it fed my inner child, and it fed my peace, and it fed the things I completely bypassed for years because I was just working and working and working. Now I know it has to be this way.”

Growing up, Kehlani didn’t have a stable environment. Her mom was an addict all of her life and her dad died when she was one and so, she was raised by her aunt. However, now she feels like “I created my belonging” after years of feeling like she didn’t belong anywhere. In the video, the “Nunya” singer also opened up about her love for photography. While she doesn’t consider herself “worthy” of the title photographer, she enjoys it and loves watching her photos come to life.

With music, the California native had to take a hard look at what she really wanted out of her career. “I had to strip back the business part. I had to do it with music first,” she said. “Let me stop thinking about, oh I’m at this level, I need a radio hit which had led me to think about every area in my life. And at the end of the day, it’s just me and my voice in the studio and a pen or it’s me and my camera or it’s me and a notepad listening to a song and thinking up an idea for it. I’m just back with just my mind.”

She admitted that her biggest fear was being afraid to put out music based on what others may think. But now she is not letting anything stop her from making the music she wants to make whether three people like it or thousands of people like it.

“I’m just in the business of doing whatever the f*** I want to do because life is too short. And not to get morbid but I’ve had a lot of young people that are my friends pass in the last couple years and they didn’t get to do everything they dreamed of and wanted to do so I’ma do all the things,” she said.

24 Hours With Kehlani | Vogue

Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.

Featured image by Gotham/WireImage via Getty Images

The emergence of a week-long tension headache told me that I needed to figure out a way to minimize and relieve my stress. In addition to daily magnesium supplements and meditation, I also found myself wanting to orgasm (the health benefits are hard to ignore) and do so at least every other day.

I was determined to set the mood and engage in some erotic self-focus by way of masturbation, and I wanted to do so with a little more variety than my wand vibrator provides. My commitment to almost daily masturbation was affirmed even further with the arrival of what would become my new favorite sex toy, the viral Lovers’ Thump & Thrust Dual Vibrator.

Keep reading...Show less
The daily empowerment fix you need.
Make things inbox official.

If there is one artist who has had a very successful and eventful year so far it’s Mary J. Blige. The “Queen of Hip-Hop Soul” shut down the 2022 Super Bowl Half-time show along with Dr. Dre, Snoop Dogg, 50 Cent, and Eminem, she also performed at NBA All-Star weekend and now she is being honored as one of Time's most influential people of 2022.

Keep reading...Show less

These days it seems that we’re all trying to heal from childhood wounds, and though I’m a big advocate for cutting people off – family included – I’ve come to learn how challenging that actually is. But also, it’s not always necessary if you have a parent who is open and committed to doing the healing work along with you, a mother, for example, who is receptive to her truth. But this also means you are receptive to the reality that parents are humans who often take cake crumbs from their parents and so on. It’s not to say that you have to accept piss-poor treatment because they’re human, but if any of us are going to embark upon a healing journey, we must acknowledge even the difficult truths.

Keep reading...Show less

Queen Latifah is saying no to unhealthy and dangerous lifestyles especially when it comes to her career. Since the beginning, the rapper/actress has always been a body-positive role model thanks to the range of characters she has played over the years that shows that size doesn’t matter. In an interview with PEOPLE, The Equalizer star opened up about taking on roles that don't compromise her health.

Keep reading...Show less

When I was ten, my Sunday school teacher put on a brief performance in class that included some of the boys standing in front of the classroom while she stood in front of them holding a heart shaped box of chocolate. One by one, she tells each boy to come and bite a piece of candy and then place the remainder back into the box. After the last boy, she gave the box of now mangled chocolate over to the other Sunday school teacher — who happened to be her real husband — who made a comically puzzled face. She told us that the lesson to be gleaned from this was that if you give your heart away to too many people, once you find “the one,” that your heart would be too damaged. The lesson wasn’t explicitly about sex but the implication was clearly present.

That memory came back to me after a flier went viral last week, advertising an abstinence event titled The Close Your Legs Tour with the specific target demo of teen girls came across my Twitter timeline. The event was met with derision online. Writer, artist, and professor Ashon Crawley said: “We have to refuse shame. it is not yours to hold. legs open or not.” Writer and theologian Candice Marie Benbow said on her Twitter: “Any event where 12-17-year-old girls are being told to ‘keep their legs closed’ is a space where purity culture is being reinforced.”

“Purity culture,” as Benbow referenced, is a culture that teaches primarily girls and women that their value is to be found in their ability to stay chaste and “pure”–as in, non-sexual–for both God and their future husbands.

I grew up in an explicitly evangelical house and church, where I was taught virginity was the best gift a girl can hold on to until she got married. I fortunately never wore a purity ring or had a ceremony where I promised my father I wouldn’t have pre-marital sex. I certainly never even thought of having my hymen examined and the certificate handed over to my father on my wedding day as “proof” that I kept my promise. But the culture was always present. A few years after that chocolate-flavored indoctrination, I was introduced to the fabled car anecdote. “Boys don’t like girls who have been test-driven,” as it goes.

And I believed it for a long time. That to be loved and to be desired by men, it was only right for me to deny myself my own basic human desires, in the hopes of one day meeting a man that would fill all of my fantasies — romantically and sexually. Even if it meant denying my queerness, or even if it meant ignoring how being the only Black and fat girl in a predominantly white Christian space often had me watch all the white girls have their first boyfriends while I didn’t. Something they don’t tell you about purity culture – and that it took me years to learn and unlearn myself – is that there are bodies that are deemed inherently sinful and vulgar. That purity is about the desire to see girls and women shrink themselves, make themselves meek for men.

Purity culture isn’t unlike rape culture which tells young girls in so many ways that their worth can only be found through their bodies. Whether it be through promiscuity or chastity, young girls are instructed on what to do with their bodies before they’ve had time to figure themselves out, separate from a patriarchal lens. That their needs are secondary to that of the men and boys in their lives.

It took me a while —after leaving the church and unlearning the toxic ideals around purity culture rooted in anti-Blackness, fatphobia, heteropatriarchy, and queerphobia — to embrace my body, my sexuality, and my queerness as something that was not only not sinful or dirty, but actually in line with the vision God has over my life. Our bodies don't stop being our temples depending on who we do or who we don’t let in, and our worth isn’t dependent on the width of our legs at any given point.

Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.

Featured image by Getty Images

Exclusive Interviews
Latest Posts