Kyrie Irving's Heartfelt Apology To Ex Kehlani Is The Best Thing You'll Read All Day
Many times, at the end of a relationship, all we're left with is tears and memories. A break-up doesn't necessarily constitute as the death of the bond between two people, so often, one or both partners are left to grieve what once was, and that grief manifests as an open wound.
Emotional wounds are much like physical wounds, but aren't seen that way by most people. Imagine someone you love came up and stabbed you in your arm, and in an angry fit, you stabbed them back. "I'm sorry" will never be enough to instantaneously heal the pain that you caused for one another, but with time, your body will rebuild and you will heal. Yet, after a break-up, your loved ones encourage you to "move on" and "let go" in their time and not your own, symbolically sprinkling salt into this open wound that won't seem to heal.
We often don't get the closure we need and have to find the strength to rehabilitate despite this fact. But ever so often, we luck up and get the answers that we need that will catalyze our recovery.
Recently, famed basketball player, Kyrie Irving posted on Instagram to take accountability and apologize for the wounds that he caused in one famous singer's life that nearly led her to commit suicide. He posted on Instagram:
"@kehlani I'm sorry, i know this is long over due. I have to speak on this simply because I owe it to you and you deserve the world to see you for you and how beautiful you are inside and out, and not for the attachment to an emotional moment in time where we both had to grow up and learn about our hearts and our souls in a world that judges and adds on fictitious pressure, SN: And also add that we are public figures now on this social media monster of a platform. I do not want anymore negative energy towards her in any way."
Related: Kehlani Reminds Us That Sometimes You Have to Fall Before You Fly
Kyrie Irving finally set the record straight about the untrue rumors of infidelity, which prompted a number of online trolls to attack his former girlfriend and songstress, Kehlani, with hateful messages that led to Kehlani's attempted suicide and hospitalization in 2016. She captioned in a since deleted Instagram post:
"I wanted to leave this Earth. Being completely selfish for once. Never thought I'd get to such a low point."
Later, she toldThe Cruz Showthat despite her heartbreaking experience, she was a survivor. Not a victim. She said:
"I wasn't a victim, you know what I mean. I'm never a victim, I refuse to be a victim—I'm not. It was really recovering from so many things at once…on the flip side, there's not too much that can hurt me now."
Shortly after Kehlani's hospitalization, Irving did send out a series of tweets that confirmed that Kehlani had not cheated, but still after two years, Kehlani is still bearing the weight of the untrue narrative.
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The 26-year-old athlete posted on Instagram last night to clear up the matter once and for all.
Kyrie apologized publicly for not doing more to clear her name, and condemned his so-called "fans" that relentlessly come for Kehlani with no merit. He posted:
"She did not cheat or intentionally hurt me, she actually did something extremely noble & respectful, but the fact that it's still a lingering narrative is really outdated at this point and as I'm hearing about what people are doing to try and intentionally hurt her on my behalf is bullshit. The lack of understanding of what we went through has bred a lot of unwarranted things happening and I want my supporters to really let her be the great soul I know she is whole heartedly. I'm hearing people are showing up to shows and being disruptive while she performs and when it starts affecting real life progress, the shit has to stop."
He continued on to say that he has a responsibility as a friend and a leader to assume accountability for how his silence has affected the life of a woman that he was once very close to. He finished the post with some hashtags that confirmed that they're not together, and still best friends.
"I am responsible as a leader to guide the young males who follow me in a positive way, & this is long overdue. We only try our hardest to be great humans and the fact that I can love her for how beautiful she is a privilege in its own right, I'm grateful. I want to see her and all individuals be who they truthfully are, unapologetically. #WeAreNotDating #Besties #BeenBesties #NeverStoppedNeverWell"
Kehlani, who says that she has since healed from the traumatic experience, replied in a comment that thanked him for his honesty and affirmed that their love for each other would be forever, even if not romantically.
The exchange between the former lovers was refreshing to see because it reassures me that closure isn't unrealistic, even if it doesn't come exactly when I want it to. The tears and memories that I've acquired from my former lovers left open wounds that will heal with or without their accountability, but Kehlani and Kyrie prove that time can heal all things.
Featured image via Kyrie Irving/Instagram
Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Another season of Love Is Blind has come to a close, and almost two months later we’re still unpacking the drama that is Clay and AD. The finale, reunion, and post-interviews with Clay and AD after season six of Love Is Blind left millions of people wondering - why couldn’t AD see the signs? Clay told her he had a fear of marriage, his parents experienced infidelity, and he seemed to have many doubts about saying, "I do."
After changing his mind at the altar and hearing AD question why she feels like she’s never enough, I was finished watching. I didn’t need to hear anything else because, at that moment, I realized this wasn’t about Clay; this was about AD feeling inadequate before she ever met Clay.
If I’m honest, I don’t watch much dating television. TikTok keeps me updated with the clips that I need to see in order to be kept in the loop, but it’s difficult for me to watch an entire season of dating TV because seeing Black women settle for less and questioning their beauty is a trigger for me. In many ways, there were points in my life where I was AD, settling and ignoring red flags because I wanted to be loved.
Now, on the other side, it doesn’t feel good to see Black women lower their standards on national television. There have been many hot takes on this couple and who was in the wrong. Did Clay play in AD’s face or did she not listen to the truth of what he told her from day one? Was his reason for joining the show to promote his business and not to find the one?
We’ll never know the truth, but what we can do is learn tactics to better our self-worth. Founder and CEO of The Self Love Organization Denise Francis shared her expertise with xoNecole on what tangible steps to take to improve feelings of worthiness. “Self-love blooms in a garden where self-worth is planted, nourished, and whole. However, when your self-worth is challenged, displaced, or broken, it could be difficult to rebuild," Denise explains.
How To Rebuild Self-Worth
During her self-love coaching sessions, Denise likes to walk her clients through the cornerstones of rebuilding self-worth: grace and self-compassion. To her, self-worth is never lost, it's only displaced, so practicing self-compassion and giving yourself grace is a must. "We tend to place our self-worth in entities and people of ourselves such as relationship status, physical appearance, material possessions, social media followings, what others think of us, and more. Self-worth is not something to be measured by anyone or anything outside of ourselves because we all innately hold value and worth.
"Self-worth is not something to be measured by anyone or anything outside of ourselves because we all innately hold value and worth."
"When we place our value into people or things, we tend to feel that we are not enough, worth it, special, or important when relationship status, job titles, friendships, and physical appearances are lost or changed. We then tend to feel lost within ourselves because we’ve placed our value outside of ourselves. Using grace and compassion, you can rebuild your self-worth by returning home to who you are at your core," she concludes.
How To Return Home To Yourself
Denise advises taking a step back and using self-reflection through journaling by answering the following journaling prompts:
First, ask yourself, "What do you tend to attach your self-worth to and why?"
Is it your relationships, your job title, your finances, your appearance, etc.? Why do you think you place so much emphasis on external status? How does it make you feel when you are defining yourself through these entities and/or people outside of yourself?
Then, ask yourself, "Without these things, who am I?"
Once you have your answers, show yourself kindness, remove the shame, and, as Denise says, "Redefine yourself by detaching your value from the things and people you have no control over and no longer serve you. Challenge yourself to define yourself outside of titles and societal values."
"By returning home to your core, you find value in who you are as a person. You begin to find value in the way you love instead of your relationship status, your compassion instead of your popularity, your drive instead of your income/job title, and your heart instead of your physical appearance," she adds.
"By returning home to your core, you find value in who you are as a person."
"Be intentional with healing your self-worth by leaning into the people and things that nourish your core values. Surround yourself with the people who love and cherish you, they will always remind you just how valuable you truly are."
It all goes back to self-compassion and grace. As Denise explains, leading with those two things as you heal and rebuild your self-worth allows you to reduce negative self-talk that might come up for you. "This weakens thoughts like, 'I am not enough... why am I never enough?'" she shares, "And 'I don't deserve this while strengthening thoughts like 'I deserve better,' 'I am enough,' and 'I am worth it.'"
Denise continues, "Once you return home and remember the irreplaceable person you are, you can rebuild your self-worth by placing it back where it belongs. It belongs to you."
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Featured image by LaylaBird/Getty Images