July is the month to focus on allowing yourself to receive. There are beautiful opportunities for blessings this month when you can get out of your own way, and release self-doubt. With Cancer Season here, emotions are flowing, love is showing up, and home is wherever your happiness is. The power of attraction is strong this month as Pallas enters Gemini on July 4 as well, and deep insights are prevailing. July is the time to gain the clarity and answers you have been looking for, and decide where to move forward from there.
On July 5, Mars moves into Taurus until August 20, and there is strong importance on values, comfort, family, satisfaction, and safety right now. While Mars is in Taurus we are motivated to accumulate and indulge a little. Taurus makes us balance our checkbooks, but this sign also loves their pleasure, and with Jupiter moving retrograde this month, we have been reminded of the importance of non-overindulgence. Mars is overall here to give you a clear view of what happiness feels and looks like to you and to allow more of this heart-centered energy into your life, with balance.
Mercury transits both Cancer and Leo this month, and while Mercury is in Cancer until July 19, communications are colored with a more emotional display. Sensitivities are heightened, and overall the gifts are in speaking from the heart right now and gaining emotional understanding. Once Mercury moves into Leo towards the end of the month, the focus turns to self-expression, personal passion, and defining your personal truths. The Full Moon of July is occurring in Capricorn on July 13 and is the Full Buck Moon of the year. This Full Moon is a time to get grounded, release old stories that restrict your beliefs today, write a list of gratitude, and remember what holds value for you.
Chiron and Jupiter both go retrograde in Aries this month at the end of July, and there is healing and divine contemplation that wants to take place now. Over the next few months, revelations will be taking place, and your worldview expands as Jupiter retrograde brings things front and center to be addressed before moving forward again. Jupiter retrograde is about preparing for blessings, redefining your intentions for them, and gaining some spiritual insight through it all. The New Moon in Leo on July 28 is making sure the month ends with a dramatic flair, and fireworks are appearing. The more you keep the faith and believe you deserve all good things this month, the more you are aligned with what is.
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleAries July 2022 Horoscope
Life is moving forward, and you are journeying through new experiences this month, Aries. July is a time of awakening for you, and a space where you are moving through an energetic shift in your life. Things are changing, but it’s nothing your free spirit can’t fully take advantage of. This is the month to expand your worldview and to see where new perspectives will take you. Everything comes together when you can trust yourself and the doors that are opening for you now.
Chiron and Jupiter are currently transiting through your sign, and they both go retrograde this month. On July 19, Chiron, the wounded healer, will enter retrograde in Aries until December 23, and Jupiter in Aries will go retrograde on July 28 until November 23. You are in the process of completing one cycle and manifesting another. You are in a major cleanse this month and are making space for happiness to continue to grow.
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleTaurus July 2022 Horoscope
July is a month of release, and recovery for you, Taurus. You are seeing some goals and achievements come to fruition right now, and you are also moving through a space of healing from the past and what it’s taken to get you here. Your guidance for the month is to give yourself kindness and safety as you move through this growth process in your life and to believe in the intentions you are seeding right now.
With Mars entering Taurus at the start of the month from July 5 until August 20, you have passion and stamina on your side right now. The energy is with you to see some important goals through, and with Mars in your sign over the next month, you have the inspiration and motivation to do so. July is your month of releasing yourself from the past, gaining a new vision, and reclaiming your power, and success.
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleGemini July 2022 Horoscope
July is all about gaining insight and getting the answers you have been looking for, Gemini. There is incredible wisdom and insight to grab ahold of this month, and the clarity is flowing in your life. You are being guided to speak up for what you believe in, and to show up for your unique ideas and perspectives. Pallas enters Gemini from July 4 until September 6, further enhancing the coming together and inner clarity you are experiencing this month.
Your ruling planet Mercury will be moving through your 2nd house of finances until July 19, and your mind is flowing where the money is going. This is a good month to get organized, go over your finances, and plan for the future. The New Moon in Leo on the 28th before the month ends is your time of receiving important messages and following the signs. The clarity that is coming into your life in July is game-changing, Gemini.
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleCancer July 2022 Horoscope
This month is all about allowing. Cancer, July is your season, and this Cancer Season is all about opening up to receive the beautiful blessings that are flowing towards you this month. You are an intuitive Moonchild, and this month you are connecting to this sensitive strength of yours. Remember the gift of your existence, and allow others to recognize and appreciate you this month, Cancer.
Mercury enters your sign on July 5 until July 19, and Venus enters Cancer on July 17 until August 11, making July a time where you are gaining mental clarity, having important conversations, moving around, and also a month where you are feeling the love. With the Full Moon happening mid-month also occurring in your 7th house of love and relationships, the universe has one mission for you this month Cancer: for you to know how loved you are and to feel that within.
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleLeo July 2022 Horoscope
July is all about opening the heart, Leo. You are rising above previous doubts and concerns, and claiming your power in all situations. This is the month to believe in your dreams and to believe in the gifts of love. There have been challenges you have had to move through this year, a lot of them unexpected, but that doesn’t mean you will have to continue to live on a rollercoaster when there is solid ground for you to walk on right now.
July is a powerful month for you overall, with Leo Season beginning this month. This year Mercury will be entering Leo from July 19 until August 4, Leo Season begins on July 22, and there is New Moon in Leo on July 28. July is a month of recognizing the opportunities and peace that comes from letting go of restrictions and allowing yourself to be loved and blessed by the divine, Leo.
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleVirgo July 2022 Horoscope
This is a month of rejuvenation and bringing things into divine order, Virgo. Positive resolutions and outcomes are happening for you in July, and this is the month to believe in a miracle. Don’t dismiss the possibilities of something really good happening this month, and keep your eyes open for a helping hand. You deserve more time and space to just be. This month is about learning the truth and beauty of doing less and gaining more.
Friendships, community, your network, and where you see yourself going from here are all key themes for you in July. This is a month of forming new connections and strengthening ones that have remained unmoved through the transitions of this year. You are recharging your spirit this month and with a Full Moon in a fellow earth sign, Capricorn, happening in your 5th house of romance this month, July is sure to be full of pleasant surprises.
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleLibra July 2022 Horoscope
Trust the process, Libra. July is all about remaining in your peace and finding your balance through what is becoming. You are thinking a lot about your career goals, achievements, and responsibilities in the home space. Finding the balance between all the things you want to do and be can be difficult at times, and this month is about giving yourself the time to figure out what works for you and your divine flow right now.
The Full Moon this month is occurring in your 4th house of home and family, and this is a good time of the month to declutter, cleanse the home, rest, and regain your center. A few days later, your ruling planet Venus moves into your 10th house of career, and you are evolving into some new spheres of success this month. Before July ends, there is a New Moon in your house of friendships, and you are feeling a new sense of support in life moving into August.
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleScorpio July 2022 Horoscope
July is about recalling your power, Scorpio. You have the divine insight to move through previous challenges and obstacles, and paths are clearing for you this month. There is a deep understanding that is coming into your world in July, and what is coming full circle for you now is everything needed to feel protected and grounded moving forward. This month is about allowing yourself to live by your standards and your truths, and doing so confidently.
The Full Moon on the 13th of this month is moving through your house of the mind, and with this being a Full Moon, you are seeing with clear eyes. The clarity is there, and Venus moving into your 9th house of spirituality and adventure a few days later, is birthing new ideas and opportunities into your life. Before July ends Jupiter goes retrograde in your 6th house, and you are focused on your personal healing and empowerment as the month ends.
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleSagittarius July 2022 Horoscope
July is a month of a river of blessings flowing into your life, Sagittarius. You have set yourself up for success and this is the month of experiencing more of those treasured moments. Powerful blessings and manifestations are appearing for you now, and the universe is giving you a big YES to proceed forward. You have listened to your intuition and lived by your personal truths, and have moved into some fortunate circumstances.
The Leo New Moon on the 28th is a passionate affair that you can get on board with, and this New Moon is fueling your sense of adventure and excitement. By the end of the month, you are setting your intentions for the future, and dreaming up the most divine vacations your soul can think of. Your ruling planet Jupiter goes retrograde on the same day until November, and you are being reminded as well, of the importance of following your bliss balanced with logic.
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleCapricorn July 2022 Horoscope
July is a month of rising above and coming together in love, Capricorn. Soulmate connections are moving into your life this month, and you are connecting with the gifts of clarity of the heart. You have found an inner peace that is both strengthening and also vulnerable, and it’s attracting new experiences for you in love. This is the month to let go of what was, and live in the beauty of what is here today.
Mid-July there is a Full Moon in your sign on July 13. This Full Moon is a time of personal revelation for you, and also a time where you are closing a major chapter in your life. Take as much time as you need with your healing and growth, and trust that where you are going from here is so much better than where you have been. Venus enters your house of love a few days later, and it’s about showing up for divine partnerships right now.
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleAquarius July 2022 Horoscope
July is a dynamic month for you, Aquarius. Some deep transformations are taking place this month, and you are living in your wisdom, empowerment, and passion. You are being reminded this month that you are divinely protected with every step you take in life and that you can create some major breakthroughs in your life with the power of belief. July is about being fearless in your pursuits, and about allowing your truth and wisdom to shine.
The Full Moon happening mid-month is occurring in your 12th house of endings, dreams, and the subconscious, and you are ready to let go of what hasn’t served right now. You are releasing old patterns and limitations, and allowing your blessings to unfold. By the end of the month, there is a New Moon in your opposite sign of Leo, and this New Moon is a time of new developments in love. July is all about taking your time and going at your own pace while light unfolds.
PiscesLaci Jordan for xoNecolePisces July 2022 Horoscope
July is all about the universe fueling your world with divine support, love, and compassion. This month is a time of nurturing yourself and what you are bringing to fruition right now, Pisces. There is support with you as you take some time to sort through what is and figure out where your heart stands now. July is all about releasing yourself from any attachments to outcomes and allowing the path of least resistance.
With one of your ruling planets, Jupiter, going retrograde on the same day as the Leo New Moon this month on July 28, you are finding the balance between what you need to allow some more time to unfold, and what you are moving forward with now. It’s about giving yourself the grace to move through this time and about speaking up for yourself and what you need as well. Remember how supported you are, Pisces.
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Featured image by Kyra Jay for xoNecole
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That’s not to say that our emotions don’t play a very valid role in, well, almost everything; it’s just that they need to be balanced out with truth, facts, logic, common sense, timing, and some level of mental and emotional stability. When this happens, you’re in the “sweet spot” of being able to take your feelings more seriously and literally — because you’re able to see them more like the thermometer in your home (something that monitors your environment) rather than your house’s entire foundation (something to solely base everything on).
And boy, does keeping all of this in mind come in mighty handy when you’re in a relationship that looks like it’s headed towards somebody’s altar, backyard, or courthouse, and yet — something just doesn’t “feel” quite right. Yes, you love him. You know that he loves you too. Still, there are some not-so-ecstatic, yes, feelings that you have about actually marrying him that you’re not exactly able to shake.
If this is you, I’m going to share eight different scenarios with you where the sweet spot that I just talked about comes into play — and if it does, the last thing that you need to do is say “yes” to an engagement. Instead, pump the brakes a bit until you can get to the root of why, again, something doesn’t feel…quite…right.
1. FEELING LIKE You’re Convincing Yourself
GiphySeveral years ago, I wrote an article, in part, about the last boyfriend that I will ever have in this lifetime (check out “Why I'll Never Call Someone A 'Boyfriend' Again”). As I oftentimes say, “I’m too old for a ‘boy’ anything,” plus, it really is time out for acting married before I actually am (that’s why many people don’t respect marriage once they actually are a husband or a wife; they’ve been doing pseudo “test runs” for years now). Then there’s the fact that I basically wasted six years of my life because I literally convinced myself to be with him. He didn’t deserve that. I didn’t either. Unfortunately, many people roll in their relationships this exact same way.
Why? Well, I’ll speak for my own situation. For the most part, he was a really good person. Still, I wasn’t attracted to him, he had a mountain of issues to work through, and I didn’t really feel anything profound for him beyond friendship (we were very close friends first). Plus, there were members of his family who were controlling and messy. Yet because he was smart, funny, and so interested in me, I convinced myself that I should give it a shot. *le sigh*
Personally, I’m not a fan of writer Maureen Dowd, although there is something she once said that fits this particular point exquisitely: “The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for.” Right now, I’m working with a married couple who are basically on life support, and it’s because, when the wife was dating her now-husband, she was so into how much he was into her that she — yep, you guessed it — convinced herself that her love for him would grow. And although she deeply cares for him, over a decade later, she can’t stop wondering what she’s missing out on anymore, and she’s basically ready to leave. *le sigh again*
Convincing yourself to do something is basically talking yourself into it. And when it comes to something as serious as marriage, you shouldn’t have to push yourself into it. Sure, you need to do some bona fide contemplating, yet if you’re out here on some, “I mean, I could grow to love him more” or “Maybe I’m being ‘extra’ about the issues that concern me” — you shouldn’t ignore those thoughts. See a reputable marriage counselor or life coach to talk it through. Marriage is gonna already test you enough with someone you’re all in with — let alone someone you had to damn near persuade yourself to say “I do” to.
2. FEELING LIKE “Orange Flags” Are Oftentimes Red Ones
GiphyKind of on the heels of what I was just talking about, there is someone I know who said that a regret that they had when it came to marrying their second husband is, while they didn’t seem to see any immediate red flags (although I’ll be honest, once I heard the entire story, I saw TONS of ‘em, including the fact that they left their first husband and married the second man within the same year), something that felt more unsettling than comforting was when they claimed to have told their fiancé the week of the wedding that they were unsure and he said, “I have enough love for the both of us.”
Listen, a man doesn’t have enough love to compensate for the lack of love you may have for him, and you don’t have enough love to compensate for the lack of love that he might have for you, either. Although, on the surface, that might sound like a beautiful sentiment to put into a blank greeting card, it’s actually dysfunctional as all get out. In fact, it’s part of the reason why I definitely rock with the saying, “You will never be good enough for a man who isn’t ready.” (Someone really needed to hear that right now.) No one can be responsible for how someone else feels; that is an inside job. So yeah, hearing something that sounds beautiful, yet you know, deep down, you don’t feel the same way? Although that might not be a red flag, it is definitely a yellow one…quite possibly even an orange one.
Another example: no one in your world is thrilled about either him or the two of you being together. Y’all, I have a friend right now who is going through this. While word is spreading that she and her husband are separated and heading towards divorce, she keeps hearing responses like, “I never really liked him anyway” and/or “We only tolerated him out of respect for you.” She wasn’t tricked. Some “Girl, you might want to slow down” conversations were had with her before their wedding. She says that she moved forward with the nuptials, in spite of, because she didn’t think the potential issues were serious enough to turn into huge problems. Boy, was she wrong. BIG TIME.
No relationship is perfect; that’s because no two people are without flaws. At the same time, marriage is too much of a life investment to see yellow or orange flags and not at least do some real pondering about why they exist. Yeah, red flags are blatant; don’t ignore them. Orange and yellow flags are “iffy;” don’t ignore them either.
3. FEELING LIKE Family Issues Are Quite Valid
GiphyDefinitely, one of the most ridiculous things that someone can think before going into a marriage is, “I’m not marrying your family. I’m marrying you.” Whew, chile. First of all, that depends on the kind of boundaries that your partner has with their relatives, and, unfortunately, many individuals have extremely poor ones. Secondly, some people are way into their families, which means they may not mind folks calling all of the time, popping up unannounced, or them knowing all of y’all’s personal business. Oh, and don’t get me started on the people who have totally dysfunctional relationships with their family members.
Case in point. I know a wife right now who is about to file for divorce, and a big part of the reason is her mother-in-law. Words cannot express how unhealthy her husband’s attachment to his mother is — let’s just say that the one who is actually his “queen” ain’t his wife. Even though his mother is still fairly young (certainly old enough to work), she has never held down a job their entire marriage (of over 12 years), he has bought her a large house and luxury car, and he doesn’t give his mom consequences for when she says slick ish about his wife. Here's the thing, though — his wife wasn’t blindsided by any of this. His mom was living with him while she dated him, and he was constantly justifying the complete and utter dysfunction during that time.
Another example is a wife I know whose husband’s family was not a fan of hers, really from day one. Although her marriage has gone the distance, she spends a lot of time emotionally drained because they are constantly coming up with manipulative tactics to get her to do what they want or gaslighting ways to pressure their son into seeing things their way, even if it’s over his wife’s better judgment. Yeah, don’t even get me started on how you really need to look into your potential spouse’s childhood stuff before marrying them because if they have some wounded or codependent areas that require personal therapy — it’s probably best that they go through some before you decide to marry them too.
Family boundaries within a marriage deserve their own article. I’ll just say that the Good Book was wise and brilliant to advise that husbands and wives should leave the family they were born into and cleave to their spouse (Genesis 2:24-25) if they want to keep the DNA drama down to a minimum in their marital union. That said, if who you’re with is already struggling with this concept…don’t ignore that quiet voice that tells you that you are about to take on more than you might be able to handle if you don’t clearly address those issues beforehand. Many people have divorced due to family drama alone. Trust me.
4. FEELING LIKE You Shouldn't Wait to Work Complex Stuff Out Later On
GiphySome stuff, you’re not gonna (fully) find out to figure out until after marriage; that’s just how life is. Oh, but you are doing yourself a super disservice of monumental proportions if you are aware of the fact that there are some complexities that you and your partner have going on while thinking that you should wait until after the honeymoon to figure out what to do about them. Real soon, I’ll be writing an article about how love is grand yet, it’s not enough, on its own, to go the distance.
Indeed, there are certain things that either you and your partner need to be on the same page about — or that you both are fully willing to compromise on and accept that it’s gonna be…what it’s going to be.
Things like what?
- Family dynamics (especially if there is some serious dysfunction going on)
- Religion/faith
- Whether or not you BOTH want children and how you want to raise them, if so
- Household chores
- Conflict resolution
- Purpose-related and professional aspirations
- Relational expectations
- Boundaries with family and friends
- Gender roles
- Sexual wants and needs
- Social media practices
- Views on finances
- Thoughts on prenups and postnups
- Marital deal-breakers
- Feelings about separation and divorce
And really, these 15 things are merely the tip of the iceberg! The main thing to keep in mind here is if you think that figuring out how to do life with someone as smoothly as possible, in a variety of different areas, can be put on the back burner because love will keep it all together — I’ve got at least 20 clients who will scream at you to go on a rom-com fast so that you can learn how to better live in reality.
Love can make you want to work through complexities with another person. Love does not absolve the issues, though. They MUST be addressed — as candidly and thoroughly as possible.
5. FEELING LIKE Sexual Incompatibility Is a Very Real Issue
GiphyOne day, soon, I’m going to also pen a piece about the whole “you need to test the car before you drive it” mindset when it comes to having sex before marriage. A part of the reason why I roll my eyes whenever I hear that is because I have been working with couples for well over 17 years at this point and — call it a random coincidence if you want to, but — by far, the couples who’ve had the most issues are the ones who had sex before saying “I do” NOT the ones who waited.
I personally think a big part of that is because, when you remove the haze — and deflection and sometimes deception, especially if it’s good — of sex, you can look at things from a more practical and realistic perspective. In other words, you’re not committing to someone based on how they make you feel; instead, it’s about who they truly are at their core. Also, going without sex can help you to improve your communication skills because, instead of relying on make-up sex to seemingly fix things, you can get to the root of matters, for real, for real. (Speaking of communication, the reason why I penned articles for the site like “7 Questions You Should Ask A Man Before Giving Him Some” is because, quite frankly, there is a lot of stuff that you can — and should — discuss with someone, even about sex, BEFORE actually having it.)
With all of that out of the way, if you have talked certain things over and what they expect is very different from what you do (for instance, I know a couple who had sex about 3-4 times a week while dating, and the husband thought that even that was a compromise yet, after marriage, the wife barely wanted to even a couple of times a month…girl, what?) or you’re already sexually involved and there seems to be some sort of “disconnect” (whether it’s physically, emotionally or otherwise) that you just can’t seem to put your finger on or you’re out here faking orgasms, fantasizing about other people or feeling like something is missing — PLEASE DO NOT WRITE THESE FEELINGS OFF.
Contrary to how a lot of our culture presents it, marriage is actually designed to last for a really long time…and it can feel especially grueling, if not flat-out torturous, to be with someone whom you are basically sexually incompatible with.
By the way, whoever tries to tell you otherwise? Absolutely DO NOT listen to them. If a part of your marital plans includes monogamy and long-term sexual fidelity, sexual compatibility is essential. Full stop.
6. FEELING LIKE Financial Concerns Are Potentially Problematic
GiphyI have a few friends who also work with couples, and something that we all agree is pretty baffling is when an engaged couple is in premarital counseling (more on that in just a sec) and one or both of them get triggered when the topic of presenting their credit score and financial history comes up. Umm, did you think that your partner wasn’t going to find out eventually anyway — or is that your end game: to spring it onto them after you jump the broom?
A lot of people don’t want to talk about the fact that a person’s financial habits and lifestyle typically reveal a lot about them: do they keep their word by paying their bills on time; are they mature enough to wait to make certain purchases instead of being an impulsive shopper; is getting and/or staying out of debt a priority to them; what is their credit because, if it’s bad, do they get that it will directly affect you on some level?
You know, I know someone who’s now ex-wife’s father said to him at their wedding, “Good luck. She’s a handful.” Her father was right. She was reckless with money. She ran up debt by getting credit cards that her husband knew nothing about. She spent thousands of dollars on basically inconsequential things. SMDH. With financial issues remaining in the top five of reasons why divorces transpire, you are absolutely doing yourself a grave disservice by not getting to know your partner intimately on a financial level. You can do this by asking questions like:
- What were you taught about money as a kid?
- What are your spending habits like?
- Do you have a financial plan for your future?
- How much is currently in your savings account?
- What is your tax situation like (lawd!)?
- How do you prioritize your bills?
- How much debt do you currently have?
- How do you feel about prenups?
- Do you think we should have joint accounts?
- Have you considered retirement yet?
If this seems like “a lot” or invasive, that’s already a problem because this doesn’t even really scratch the service of the type of inquiries that you should make. For instance, I know a wife who has two jobs right now because her husband, although he made pretty good money when they first got married, he is more interested in pursuing dreams than covering the bills. She didn’t know that about him before marriage, and so now…here she is — financially frustrated, which ultimately takes its toll on the relationship at one point or another. Consider yourself warned.
7. FEELING LIKE Premarital Counseling Should Be Highly Prioritized
GiphyOne of the best ways to describe the benefits of any type of therapy is to say that, while clients tend to see things from the “inside out,” therapists/counselors/life coaches choose to look at matters from the “outside in.” In fact, they are trained to do so. This can be highly beneficial when it comes to participating in premarital counseling because you need someone who is not emotionally invested in the way that you and your partner are to raise some questions, issues, or concerns that you may not have thought about or considered otherwise.
Hey, just because I am a marriage life coach, you don’t have to take my word for it. Various studies reveal that not only can premarital counseling help to decrease a couple’s chances of divorce by as much as 50 percent (others say that the percentile is more like 30, which is still pretty good odds), other research cites that marriages are 80 percent better off when premarital counseling transpired.
I’ll say this: There’s a guy I know who is what I call a “nice guy narcissist.” I’ve known him for years, and to say that he has A LOT of issues is a major understatement. When I mentioned to him that he should definitely get into premarital counseling right after he announced that he was engaged, he first said that it was on his to-do list. Then he said that he and his fiancée had spoken with a few people, yet no one was a good fit. Then he said that they resorted to reading books instead.
Uh-huh. Red flags all over the place because if you can come up with thousands of dollars for an engagement ring and wedding, you can come up with 1-2 percent of that total cost (literally) to invest in some premarital counseling. My discernment says that he didn’t want a counselor to pick up on some stuff that could either delay the nuptials or make his soon-to-be bride want to call off the wedding altogether — and that’s pretty much my point: it is so much better to end an engagement than to end a marriage.
On the flip side, if you want to move forward with your partner, you will feel so much better if you get some objective insights and tips to make your relationship last than if you try and wing something as multi-layered as marriage all by yourself.
8. FEELING LIKE You Should Wait a Little Bit Longer
GiphyAt one point or another, most of us have heard the saying, “When in doubt, don’t” — and you know what? There is a lot of truth in that, especially when it comes to making relationship-related decisions. One of the reasons why I say that is, it’s almost countless at this point, the amount of people who told me that the week (sometimes even the night) before their wedding, they wanted to call things off yet they didn’t because they already spent a lot of money, they didn’t want to disappoint other people, or they told themselves that it was “cold feet.”
I’ve already taken up a lot of your time, and this could honestly be its own article. I’ll just try and simplify this point by saying: If you feel like you need to rush into anything, that’s typically rooted in pressure or fear — and it’s honestly never a good idea to make any serious decision in those types of headspaces.
To be ready to do something means that you are “completely prepared or in fit condition for immediate action or use” and “duly equipped, completed, adjusted, or arranged, as for an occasion or purpose.” If you don’t think that you are, he is, and/or the relationship is ready for marriage, you are actually loving yourself and your partner by slowing things down rather than speeding things up. So, if you feel like you should wait to get married, you absolutely should.
____
This was a lot. MARRIAGE IS A LOT. Yet I hope that this either gives you the confidence that you need to move forward or the support that you need to speak up. Because again, if something doesn’t feel quite right, there’s usually a solid reason (or set of reasons) why. Love you and him enough to not ignore what it may be. You both deserve, at least, that much, sis. Straight up.
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