May is a month where passion, freedom, and growth are all coming together in alchemy. Some significant transits that Astrologers alike have been anticipating are occurring this month, and it’s changing dynamics moving forward. May begins with Venus moving into the fiery energy of Aries on May 2, and will remain in this independent and direct sign until May 28. While Venus is moving through Aries this month, love and relationships are about initiating intentions, being confident in your pursuits of love, and recognizing that you deserve the love you give.
The second out of the four Mercury retrogrades of 2022 is happening on May 10 and will begin in the sign of Gemini until May 22 before finishing its retrograde transit in Taurus until June 3. With Mercury retrograde moving through one of its ruling signs, Gemini, communication haywire can feel even more prevalent for the time being. Extra precaution should be used when it comes to transportation, communication, networking, and investments with this Mercury retrograde. Mercury retrogrades are all about having a sense of humor and acknowledging that sometimes we don’t always know why things are happening the way they are, but that they probably needed to.
On the same day that Mercury goes retrograde, the most significant transit of the month occurs as Jupiter, the planet of blessings, moves out of its year-long transit from Pisces and moves into Aries. Jupiter will be in Aries this year from May 10 through October 28 and will be retrograde in Aries from July 28 to October 28. Jupiter will move back into Pisces for a brief moment at the end of this year, and then finish its year-long transit in Aries from December 20 until May 16, 2023. While Jupiter begins its transit in Aries this month, the vibes turn from emotional expansion and understanding to inspired direction and understanding of thy self. While Jupiter is moving through Aries, there is a lot of drive, inspiration, and momentum to grab ahold of, and it is exciting energy for the world.
Moving more into May, there is a powerful Full Moon Lunar Eclipse in Scorpio on May 15-16, and transformations are evident. Whenever the moon is in Scorpio, emotions run deep and intimacy levels are heightened. Scorpio’s strong intuition never goes missed and during this eclipse, the revelations will be plenty. This is the Eclipse to release any emotional and financial restrictions you have been feeling, and soak in the gratitude of what is present for you right now.
Gemini Season begins a few days later on the 20th, and there is a New Moon in Gemini on May 30 before the month ends. Gemini likes to keep things light and exciting, and moving out of May the collective is bringing light to the inspired ideas and visions that this month has brought.
Aries Horoscope for May 2022
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleMay is a month of flow, grace, and abundance for you, Aries. A lot of the powerful energy and changes this month in the stars are directly influenced by Aries. Venus, the planet of love, enters your sign on the second day of May, signifying the flow of love that is coming to you this month. There is positive energy with you right now when it comes to self-love, expressing yourself, and allowing others to shower you with some love and attention right now as well.
Jupiter enters your sign on May 10 for the first time in over a decade, bringing an extra dose of good luck into your life right now. With Jupiter in Aries until October 28 and going retrograde in your sign starting July 28, you are moving through a time of self-development and putting more focus on what you see for your path moving forward, what your personal goals are, and how you can show up in your authenticity. There are some mountains to climb this month, but your confidence is at the forefront making everything happen for you with ease.
Taurus Horoscope for May 2022
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleYour season is here beautiful, Taurus! May is a month of emergence, synergy, and things coming to the surface that you have been planning and intending for. This is your time of making power moves and rising above the transformations that have been occurring for you this year. You are getting your ducks in a row in a sense this month and making sure the plans you have been working on are starting to see growth and unfoldment.
Mercury goes retrograde this month, and this is an important Mercury retrograde cycle for you, being that this retrograde will be in your sign from May 22 to June 3. You are taking a step back and processing what is ahead of you right now. Some plans need reworking this month and taking things day by day will help this healing process. With Venus in your 12th house until the end of May before moving into your sign on May 28, you are emotionally replenishing right now. It is out with the old and in with the new for you this month.
Gemini Horoscope for May 2022
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleMay is a game of balance for you, Gemini. You like to keep things moving and fuel your infinite curiosity in life, and this month is reminding you of the importance of taking things slow, having patience, and allowing the magic to come to you. There is a sense of stillness, contemplation, and peace with you this month, Gemini. The second Mercury retrograde of 2022 is occurring in May, and it begins in your sign. From May 10 to May 22, Mercury will be retrograde in your sign, and taking your time with communication, transportation, and gaining clarity is needed.
Gemini Season begins on May 20 and there is a little bit more of a sparkle in the sky for you right now. Things are coming to you this month, and the magic is being felt better than expected. The key is staying hopeful about the opportunities and experiences that are presenting themselves at this time, and remembering that the sky's the limit for you. There is a New Moon in Gemini on May 30 before the month ends, and you are owning your power in life, and walking through new doors.
Cancer Horoscope for May 2022
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleMay is a time of life coming full circle, and seeing your happy outcomes bloom to fruition, Cancer. There is a bright radiance shining forth from you this month, and you have your eyes on the prize. You know what you want, and you have the confidence and passion to go after it right now. With Venus and Jupiter in your 10th house of career in May, your professional life and goals are at the forefront. May is all about putting your best foot forward and receiving the recognition and acknowledgment for the hard work you have been putting in.
The energy is transforming and moving around for you in May, and with a Full Moon Lunar Eclipse in fellow water sign Scorpio from May 15 to May 16, you are feeling the passion and excitement in your romantic life. The eclipse this month will be transiting your 5th house of romance, happiness, children, hobbies, and creativity, and there are some wake-up calls when it comes to your gifts, talents, what makes you happy, and how you want to shine in life coming through for you this month.
Leo Horoscope for May 2022
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleMay is a karmic and eye-opening month for you, Leo. Things are getting deep for you this month and there is alchemic energy with you as you see the patterns of your life when it comes to the past, present, and where you are headed. Taking time for your healing, acceptance, and for time to process the adventures of the month is necessary. You are embarking on a new journey in May as many different paths in life open up for you from previous intentions and actions.
Friendships, community, and spirituality are key themes for you in May as you work with others in collaboration and learn more about how to balance your needs with the other responsibilities on your plate as well. Mercury will be retrograde in your 11th house of friendship from May 10 to May 22, and there will be a New Moon in this area of your chart on May 30 before the month ends. What comes up for you right now is happening so that you can process, reflect, and release. Go to the places that feel like home or that excite you in life, and remember that you are evolving.
Virgo Horoscope for May 2022
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleMay is all about purification and forward movement for you, Virgo. You have been waiting, hoping, and intending for the things that are showing up for you in May, and they're doing so through you dropping the doubt and the worries. Instead of focusing on what could go wrong this month, take note of everything that is going right. Chapters end, emotions get cleansed, and the sky is clear for new possibilities. What is washed away this month is the density that has kept you in one place out of restriction rather than comfort, and you are ready for some new landscapes.
There is a Full Moon Lunar Eclipse in your 3rd house on May 15 and May 16, and this is a magical time for you when it comes to communications and self-expression. Your ruling planet Mercury goes retrograde this month and will be moving through the areas of your life having to do with career, achievement, travel, and adventure. The universe is asking you to look at the goals and career steps you have put into fruition and what you are working on and make sure these same intentions align with the end goal you are hoping for.
Libra Horoscope for May 2022
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleMay is a month of reflection and growth for you, Libra. Life is mirroring to you what your emotional world has been telling you within, and you are seeing clearly why things have been playing out the way they have recently. With Jupiter and Venus moving into your opposite sign of Aries this week, you begin a very significant, once-every-decade journey of love. The opportunities are there, and your vision of love in general right now is colored with enthusiasm, openness, and opportunity.
Moving more into the month, there is a Full Moon Lunar Eclipse in your 2nd house of income on May 16. Mid-month is a good time to pay off any bills, clean out your purse, and release any financial plans or restraints that have done you more harm than good. The key this month is the space that is being created for your growth. What you do in this space, in these moments of reflection, allows you to let go of what’s keeping you from growing connections, and putting you in the right space to receive and gain clarity.
Scorpio Horoscope for May 2022
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis is a month of release, replenishment, and freedom for you, Scorpio. There is a sense of a clearing coming into your life in May. There are big chapters in your life coming to a close this month as you take the time to let things develop into where they want to be. With Venus in your 6th house of health from May 2 to May 28, a lot of the month you are focused on what is going to make you happy and healthy. You are putting the effort into your daily routine, habits, and working life, and are feeling the love in your everyday environment with this energy.
We also have an important Full Moon Eclipse occurring in your sign from May 15 to May 16 this month. This eclipse is hitting home for you and is bringing the personal growth, insights, and goals you have been focusing on to the forefront of your life. La Luna will be shining its light on you in mid-May and you are feeling all the feels this month, Scorpio. By the end of the month, there is a New Moon in your 8th house of intimacy and you are seeing new beginnings within love, shared finances, and commitment.
Sagittarius Horoscope for May 2022
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis month is a time of rebirth for you, Sagittarius. The flowers in your life are blooming, and you are birthing something new right now. With your ruling planet Jupiter changing signs this month and moving into a fellow fire sign, you are receiving all the good luck energies from this change. Jupiter is entering a long transit having to do with love, romance, creativity, children, and entertainment for you. The good vibes are flowing from you and to you and there is a lot of gratitude in your life in May.
Moving more into the month, Mercury goes retrograde in your opposite sign of Gemini from May 10 to May 22, and during this time you are learning through love. Relationship balance may take some more effort during this time, and keeping an open mind when it comes to these partnerships is needed. This isn’t the month to rush things or to force things to happen, it’s all about having patience, taking intentional action, and believing in your ability to do great things.
Capricorn Horoscope for May 2022
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleNurture your world, Capricorn. May is a time of inspiration, nourishment, and development for you as you ground your heart in the present moment. Jupiter in Pisces and Pluto in Capricorn come together on May 3 and form a sexy sextile, giving you a boost of empowerment and self-confidence. There is a guardian angel on your side this month, and you are feeling this sense of support in your life. With a Lunar Eclipse occurring a few weeks later in your 9th house, you are realizing that a lot of the adventures, intentions, and plans you had set out for yourself have come true and continue to for you.
With the second out of four Mercury retrogrades happening this year occurring this month starting May 10, you get some important opportunities to plan, replan, then plan again. This Mercury retrograde transit is asking you to take a look at where your habits, routines, and patternings are on the day-to-day and to see what has been benefiting you and making you happy, and what doesn’t anymore. Don’t let the pressure get to you this month, and make being kind to yourself your biggest priority in May, Capricorn.
Aquarius Horoscope for May 2022
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleLife is changing for you right now, Aquarius. May is all about the growing perspectives you have been tapping into. You have been connecting to your spirituality, your gifts, and your deep insights, and your heart is giving you all the clarity you need right now. With Venus and Jupiter moving into your 3rd house this month, you get the communication breakthroughs you have been looking for in May. Confusion clears, clarity enters, and the hope remains.
On May 10, Mercury goes retrograde in fellow air sign Gemini, moving retrograde in your 5th house of romance until May 22, and there is also a New Moon in this same area of your chart on May 30. What is switching up for you this month is the way you have been going about love and allowing it to come to you. Some boundaries may be necessary to put into place during this Mercury retrograde, but once the New Moon hits on May 30, you are overall seeing the gifts of where your heart has been heading in love. This month is all about what’s going to make you happy and feel like you are living out your purpose.
Pisces Horoscope for May 2022
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecoleMay is a wake-up call month for you, Pisces. You are experiencing a major chapter of your life closing this month as Jupiter moves out of your sign where it has been since December 28, 2021, blessing your life. While Jupiter begins its transit in Aries on May 10, (it will briefly dip back into your sign in retrograde from October 28 to December 20) you begin a journey of financial growth, expansion, and development. Jupiter, the planet of blessings, has been giving you clarity on thy self, your authenticity in life, and your personal goals, and now is moving into the energy of your chart having to do with assets, financial growth, and income.
From May 15 to May 16, there is a Full Moon Lunar Eclipse in fellow water sign Scorpio, that will be moving through your 9th house of adventure. Although life is looking a lot different than it used to right now, you still see the full picture of everything you’ve ever wanted. The completions you are seeking and obtaining right now are creating spaces for more stability to grow for you and your emotional world is giving you the clues on what paths are going to take you there.
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Why can’t (more) singles just be single and be okay with that? Good Lord. Why does there need to be some sort of relational play-on-words to make it sound like we’re with someone — even if we’re not?
Now masturdating? Even though it’s not even close to being a “real” word, it’s something that also brought a laugh outta me — although it was then followed by a genuine smile. The laugh because I almost immediately caught the play-on-words. The smile was due to the intention behind it all.
If you’re not familiar with what masturdating is and you’re curious about why you should even care, take a few moments to at least skim through what it’s about and why I think participating, as a single person, is a pretty cool (and effective) concept.
@knotlukas Masturdate: a date w oneself
What’s Masturdating All About?
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Masturdating. Okay, so let the word marinate for just a moment. What does it sound like? Yeah…exactly. And since a huge part of masturbation centers around self-pleasure, it’s cool to explore how “self-dating” could produce similar (as far as pleasure is concerned in a broader sense) results. Because masturdating is all about spending quality time with yourself, pampering yourself, treating yourself— and yes, taking yourself out on dates.
Any of you who may think that masturdating is a consolation prize — and a pitiful one at that — for not being able to go out with another human being or get that dream $200 first date that social media was all in a tizzy about last year (bookmark that) — personally, I think that you’re the demographic who needs to try out masturdating first and the most. Why? Off top, I’ll share my three good reasons.
3 Reasons To Strongly Consider Masturdating
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1. It’s an intimate way to get to know yourself better. I’ve been working with couples for a pretty long time at this point and if there’s a pattern that I see arise, OFTEN, it’s that two people are oftentimes so busy trying to “find their person” that they didn’t even know who they were. As a direct result, they found themselves in a relationship with someone who only complemented the “kiddie pool version” of who they were.
That’s why it can be so beneficial to spend time getting to know yourself on the “deep end” of things: what makes you tick, what your passions are, what you want most out of life, what are your interests beyond obvious things — and masturdating can help you to discover all of this. Whether it’s traveling alone or taking out a weekend to drink some wine and journal, the more you get to know yourself, the clearer you’ll be about who complements you on a romantic and friendship level.
2. It will definitely help to boost your confidence levels. I guess since I’m an ambivert, I don’t really get why people freak out at the mere thought of going to a restaurant or movie alone. Personally, I think it requires a helluva lot more energy and gumption to wait around and plan stuff with other people (#Elmoshrug). However, whether you’re an introvert, extrovert, or ambivert, there’s no way around the fact that the more comfortable you get with doing things alone, the more your confidence levels will increase — no, soar — because of it.
One article that I read on the topic said that doing things alone can make you more creative, improve your mental health, and help you to be totally okay with being alone (so that you’re not “needy” for other people’s attention). A psychotherapist from a New York Times article on the benefits of spending time alone said, “Getting better at identifying moments when we need solitude to recharge and reflect can help us better handle negative emotions and experiences, like stress and burnout.” And when you’re able to stare negativity in its face without flinching, how could that not make you bolder, more self-secure, and hopeful about your life?
3. It will teach you to value your time more effectively. In every facet of your world, you’re gonna operate from a healthier place if you’re operating from a “full cup” rather than an empty one. When it comes to this topic, think about it — if you’re constantly waiting on someone to call you to go out or wishing for a dream date with some guy, all you’re doing is wasting precious time that you could be spending taking a cooking class or hell, hiring a chef to make you dinner at your own home.
Indeed, waiting has two sides to it: when it’s in the form of patience, it is indeed a virtue, yet when it’s wrapped up in the notion that you’re not really living life unless you have an audience…it is totally working against you. Choose wisely.
10 Solo Date Ideas To Help You To “Master” Masturdating
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So, what if you’re someone who has either never considered actually masturdating before or you don’t really know what to do beyond dinner and the movies? Here are a few ideas to consider:
1. Attend a workshop or masterclass that you’re interested in. If there’s something that you’ve always wanted to learn, sign up for a workshop or masterclass. The cool thing about this option is there are probably some in your city, as well as some that you can find online (like here) that are convenient and affordable.
2. Binge-read at a local coffee shop. Aside from their coziness and oftentimes inviting scents, I once read that a lot of us gravitate to coffee shops because we can be around people without having to actually socialize with them. So, if you want to “hang out” while still being able to enjoy a bit of solitude, take a book that you’ve been trying to finish to a local coffee shop, order your favorite latte, and sit in a big-ass comfy chair. Usually, you can sit there for hours, and the staff will be just fine with it (another bonus).
3. Have a spa day in the next town. You can never go wrong with a spa day. And while going with a friend can be fun, sometimes there’s too much talking transpiring to be able to fully chill out and relax. So, go off of the grid, get a change of scenery, and hit up a spa in the next city (or town). There are lots of studies out here supporting that day trips or “daycations” can actually be really good for your long-term health and well-being.
4. See a community play. Some of the best solo dates that I’ve ever been on consisted of taking in some of the local arts in my city. What’s really cool about this particular option is, oftentimes, they are extremely inexpensive, if not totally free of charge (in exchange for making a donation or putting money into a tip jar).
5. Plan a trip. Whenever people say something along the lines of, “If you don’t expect anything, you won’t be disappointed,” I know that they low-key have some (additional) healing to do from past disappointments. There’s simply too much intel out here to support that anticipation (of good stuff) makes us more motivated and optimistic, keeps our dopamine levels up, and makes life more exciting overall.
Since traveling alone is more cost-effective, gives you the freedom to do whatever you want (when you want), and increases the possibility of meeting new people and having new experiences on your journey — why not devote a day this weekend to planning a solo trip? All the way around, it’s good for you.
6. Try your hand at your own “$200 date.” Uh-huh. Roll your eyes if you want to, but it’s real easy to talk left about how a man should be able to just drop $200 like it’s nothing…until you actually try to do it. So yes, while taking yourself out on this type of date could serve as a bit of a reality check, it can also “scratch the itch” of waiting on some dude to do it for you. It’s also way less emotionally draining because, at least when you’re taking your own self out, it’s guaranteed that you’ll enjoy the company…right?
7. DIY some pampering. When you get a chance, check out “5 Reasons You Should Unapologetically Pamper Yourself,” “Want To Love On Yourself? Try These 10 Things At Home.,” “I’ve Got Some Ways For You To Start Pampering Your Soul,” and “When's The Last Time You Actually Pampered Your Vagina?” The bottom line here is pampering is all about, not mere self-maintenance; it’s all about treating yourself to levels of EXTREME SELF-INDULGENCE. So, if nothing else tickles your fancy on this list, at least consider doing that, chile.
8. Feed your creativity. Something that I used to be really good at is art. That said, one of my goddaughters is insanely talented, so she has reminded me to tap back into it. Also, a big part of what got me into the writing world is poetry; I actually used to be a house poet at a local spot. Sometimes, my best quality time moments with myself have been revisiting these creative sides of me — and this is definitely easier to do (and enjoy) alone.
9. Try some stargazing. When’s the last time you took a blanket into your backyard, laid down on it, and just stared at the stars for hours on end? While some say that stargazing can teach you to be mindful, others say that being in that form of nature reduces stress, while others believe that looking up at the universe at night can increase your attention span. All solid reasons to give it a shot, if you ask me.
10. DO. ABSOLUTELY. NOTHING. Let me tell you something that nobody will ever be able to make me feel bad about: doing absolutely nothing. I’ve got data to back me up. Good Housekeeping shares that doing nothing can help you decide how you want to respond or react to certain things. I like howThe Guardian says that taking this approach helps you to regain control of what you give your attention to.
TIME magazine says that it can ultimately make you more productive.BBC offers up that it can help you tap into your ingenuity.Henry Ford Health says that it can make you kinder and a better problem-solver. So, if you want to invest in yourself, do nothing sometimes.
Closing Thoughts from the Lovely Javicia Leslie
While some of y'all may know Javicia Leslie from being the former Batwoman, I discovered her back in the day from the indie series Chef Julian (and yes, "Julian" was right to say that "Mo" looks like Tatyana Ali...the real ones know). Sometimes I'll hop on her IG to see what she's got going on and this story popped up within a few hours of me penning this...so, I took it as hella confirmation.
TREAT YO SELF. WAIT FOR NO ONE.
WAIT FOR NO ONE. TREAT YO SELF.
RINSE AND REPEAT.
_____
Sooo…what kind of masturdating plans do you have for this coming weekend? While going out with others has its perks, hanging out with yourself has a ton of ‘em too. Enjoy!
No…for real. ENJOY!
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