April is a time of growth, transformation, love, and fresh starts. There is a need to balance passion with emotions and grace with courage this month, as many different pieces of the puzzle begin to come together after somewhat of a confusing start to 2022. April begins with the Sun in Aries and a New Moon in Aries on April 1. The month begins with fiery passion, self-expression, and initiation, and signifies the fresh starts that this month is bringing in general. Change is inevitable and Aries reminds us of the empowerment that can come from making things happen for yourself, no matter what obstacles may previously have been there.
Venus enters Pisces on April 5 and will remain in this emotionally influenced water sign until May 2. Love is about going deep, transcending, and moving with compassion right now. The emotional inspiration is strong while Venus is in Pisces, and this is a good time to create art and admire the connection to love and the mysteries of life. Mercury enters Taurus on April 10 before Taurus Season begins on April 19. And while Mercury is in Taurus, communications become more grounded and rooted in the facts and the meaningful. Mercury in Taurus wants to build, grow with another, and express love in practical ways and there is a balancing act happening this month between wanting to stabilize what is, and letting things flow how they want to right now.
On April 12, there is a powerful conjunction forming between Jupiter and Neptune, and this conjunction signifies intentions turning into manifestations, and making your dreams come true. The effect of this conjunction will be flowing throughout the entire year, and this is one of the most important days of the year for positive thinking, intention setting, and creative and spiritual pursuits. A few days later, Mars moves out of Aquarius and enters Pisces on April 14, and the drive turns from mental pursuits to emotional.
Although we are in fire and earth seasons this month, April has a strong emotional pull to it and these are where a lot of the transformations are taking place right now. April is overall the month of new beginnings and emotional breakthroughs. There are two New Moons and one Full Moon happening this month, which is significant in and of itself. The powerful New Moon in Aries on April 1, the balanced Full Pink Moon in Libra on April 16, and the transformative New Moon Partial Solar Eclipse in Taurus on April 30.
Emotions are high, and they are meant to enlighten and awaken at this time. This is the month to claim your new beginnings.
ARIES
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleAries Season is here, and it’s your time to shine, Aries! This month brings with it a time of fresh starts, growth, and compassion. With a New Moon in your sign on the first day of the month, you are entering April claiming your new beginnings and your empowerment. Goals are being attended to, and you have all of the support with you right now to make some major waves in life. Your inner world is flowing with ideas, gifts, and truths, and your intentions are showing fruition in April.
Although you are seeing major progress and growth right now, you are still in a time of important self-reflection and of releasing from your life what hasn’t been serving you. From April 5 to May 2, Venus is in your 12th house of endings, the subconscious, and all things hidden, and your emotional world is spending some time in reflection. You are learning from the past, letting go of old patterns here, and seeking your emotional truths. With a Full Moon in your opposite sign Libra and a Solar Eclipse in your 2nd house before the month ends, something about your partnerships is changing this month, and you are the one making the calls here.
TAURUS
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleYou are on the path towards greater abundance right now, Taurus. April is a time of transformation and a time where the seeds of your intentions are blooming into the flowers of your desires. You have been doing important work when it comes to self-love, valuing yourself, and valuing what you bring to the table, and this energy is transforming things in positive ways when it comes to your financial world. Make space for more to come this month, and take the time to plan for your future. With your ruling planet Venus moving through your 11th house of friendships, aspirations, and community in April, you have the people around you to help make your dreams come true.
Moving into the month, the energy begins to move into your sign, and your solar return is here. On April 10, Mercury moves into Taurus, on April 19, Taurus Season begins, and on April 30, there is a New Moon Solar Eclipse in Taurus as well. April is your time of becoming. You have been working diligently towards the things that are most important to you in life and you are feeling a renewed sense of vitality with the support, abundance, and connection that is in your life in April.
GEMINI
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleApril is a time of balance, patience, and trusting everything is coming together for you, Gemini. There has been a strong focus on your career this year, and April is bringing in those achievements and recognition you have been looking for. The New Moon on April 1 is transiting your 11th house, and you are moving into April with your community, social circle, and friendships in mind, and are seeing some new beginnings here. This month is all about learning to work together with others in harmony, and keeping an open mind when it comes to different perspectives and ways of navigating your experiences with another.
There is a need for some closure this month, some time to understand the different perspectives and self-beliefs within, and to dive deep into which ones serve and which ones hinder. Mercury will be in your 12th house of the unknown until it moves into your sign on April 29, and for most of the month some more mental downtime, rest, and self-reflection are necessary. With a Full Moon in fellow air sign Libra on April 16, there are key moments of love in your life this month, and gratitude should be acknowledged right now.
CANCER
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleApril is all about not overthinking things and letting things come to you, Cancer. There is a New Moon in your 10th house of reputation as the month begins, and your Moonchild Soul is shining in your authenticity. You are thinking a lot about your career and professional successes at the beginning of the month, and processing the changes that have been flowing through here. April overall is the time for you to take things one day at a time, honor your creativity and inspirations, and to continue to show up for yourself.
Venus moves through fellow water sign Pisces from April 5 to May 2, and this energy is positively influencing your love life and sense of adventure. With Venus in your 9th house of travel and exploration for most of the month, April is a good time to take that trip you’ve been wanting to take, and to overall get some time away to decompress. Your mind is a gift, and you are learning more about the different perspectives and intuitive insights that have been flowing through your world. April is your month to align, gain clarity, and explore what the universe has to offer you, Cancer.
LEO
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis month is a time of karmic justice, and the tables turning in your life, Leo. You are moving out of a time of challenge and into more of your personal success, as past decisions and paths show fruition. April begins with a New Moon in fellow fire sign Aries, and opportunities are headed your way at the beginning of the month. There is a sense of passion, inspiration, and freedom in the air for you and there are some exciting experiences to say yes to right now. What’s unfolding for you is the divine plan, and it’s coming through from your dignity, patience, and the time you took to really consider your options and your path in life.
With Venus moving through your house of intimacy for most of the month, and a Solar Eclipse in your house of publicity before the month ends; balancing personal life with professional life is necessary. There is an emotional need to connect, commit, and dive deeper emotionally this month, and you are getting opportunities to grow with another. Your guidance is to trust your intuitive visions and insights and to uncover what wants to come to the surface right now. You are making the unknown known this month, and breaking free.
VIRGO
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleLove is the motive this month, Virgo. April is a time of new beginnings for you in your relationships and within your emotional world. With a New Moon in your 8th house on the first of the month, you are breaking through any barriers that have been placed between you and love and letting the walls fall. With Venus moving through an area of your chart dealing with relationships for most of April, you are feeling the progress, connection, and alignment you have been looking for in love, and there is a confidence in you both physically and emotionally.
Your ruling planet Mercury is moving through your 9th house of adventure from April 10 to April 29, and you are exploring your options in life right now. With a Full Moon in your 2nd house of values, assets, and income in mid-April, you are releasing from your life anything that doesn't add up with how you see yourself, your future, and how you value yourself. April is all about playing your cards right, and thinking out of the box to gain new insights. There is a Solar Eclipse happening on April 30, and you are ending the month inspired by the paths that are opening for you right now.
LIBRA
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleApril is all about fresh starts, speaking your voice, and cutting through the bs. You are empowered by the transformations that you are moving through right now, and others are inspired by your process and progress this month, Libra. You start the month out with Mars in your 5th house of romance and a New Moon in your 7th house of love, and this combo is exactly what it sounds like. The beginning of the month is all about basking in love and letting yourself receive the love that you so often give to others. Make your happiness the priority right now, Libra.
Moving into the month, there is a Full Pink Moon in your sign on April 16. This is a time where you are going to really be seeing the culmination, endings, and new beginnings in your life, and a time to release what doesn’t feel like you anymore. Boundaries may need to be placed this month to honor your self-respect and self-love, and you are getting the space to do just that. The balance of the yin and yang within comes into play right now, and April is the time to accept, release, renew, and speak up. You are powerful, Libra.
SCORPIO
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecolePositive outcomes are coming through for you this month, Scorpio. April is a time when you are shining in your joy, your truths, and your compassion. The beginning of April is bringing in new beginnings to working/everyday life and you are seeking out new, beneficial, healthy routines that work with you. You are taking a grounded approach to things right now, and letting the blessings unfold for you. With Venus moving through your house of romance for most of the month, April is all about feeling the love, giving it, and grounding yourself in gratitude.
Old chapters are closing in April, and you are satisfied with what is coming to fruition for you right now. You are ready to leave the past behind and are finding peace in doing so. On April 29, one of your ruling planets Pluto goes Retrograde, and there is a need for more patience and understanding when it comes to communications, expression, and making your voice heard. On the next day, there is a New Moon Solar Eclipse in your sister sign Taurus, and you are gaining clarity on what support systems, love, and relationships have and will be there for you through it all.
SAGITTARIUS
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis is a month of seeking truth, understanding, and new developments, Sagittarius. There is a New Moon in the fellow fire sign on April 1, and this New Moon is influencing your love life and sense of happiness. The beginning of the month is all about reminding you how loved you are, and about giving you those nudges to speak up for yourself, your heart, and what it needs. View things within the lens of self-love this month, and don’t let any naysayers get you down. You know what is best for you and you have the power to connect with more of the people who align with that as well.
With Mercury in your 6th house of work, health, and daily routines from April 10 to 29, and a Solar Eclipse in this area of your chart on April 30, you are moving towards the end of the month with your health and well-being in mind. The ideas, insights, and breakthroughs are coming in for you right now to see what needs to be released and what would nourish you. April is about clearing out any old perspectives that aren’t serving you now and letting yourself rise to your new beginnings, Sagittarius.
CAPRICORN
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleApril is your month of breakthroughs and fortune, Capricorn. You are entering a time of success after some experiences of feeling like your world has been flipped upside down. April is all about things falling into their divine place, finding your ground, and you benefiting from the transitions you are seeing in life right now. With Venus flowing through your 3rd house of communication for most of the month, you are speaking from the heart and receiving messages of love as well, and this is a good month to connect, communicate, and get your ideas and thoughts heard.
You are known for being your goal-oriented and hardworking self, and with a Full Moon on April 16 in your house of career, you are getting the right opportunities to close out old chapters in your professional world, and see some new paths open for you here too. There is a sense of leveling up this month. Pluto goes Retrograde in your sign on April 29 before the month ends, you are entering a journey of understanding yourself more, your path in life, and what feeling personally empowered means to you. Flow with change--don’t force, and make space for your blessings, Capricorn.
AQUARIUS
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis month is all about gaining new insights, opening your mind, and spending some time reflecting on all that’s been, Aquarius. The New Moon on April 1 is highlighting your communications and your personal influence, and this is a good time to express yourself, connect with others, and get some errands done. Some important messages are coming through right now. April is all about acting on intuition and intention rather than impulse, and about making sure your actions align with your values. You are seeing things with new eyes this month and also taking into account who and what supports this vision for yours, Aquarius.
With Mars in your sign until April 14, you have some extra energy at your disposal right now, and all the opportunities to move forward with your personal dreams. The Full Moon happening in fellow air sign Libra on April 16 is happening in an area of your chart that has to do with adventure and expansion, and April overall is a good month for you to network and meet some new people. Have fun with your self-expression this month, and remind yourself how valuable and needed your perspective and knowledge is in this world, Aquarius.
PISCES
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecoleAlthough Pisces Season has wrapped up, you are still feeling the inspiration and the strong influence of Pisces energy with Venus and Mars moving through your sign for most of the month, joining Jupiter and Neptune who are here as well. 2022 in general is a big year for Pisces, and this month is when things really begin to get going for you. The beginning of April is a time to look at your bank statements, financial growth, and financial goals, and to plan for the future. This is a good month to take into account the giving and receiving in your life and to make sure everything adds up with what equates to balance for you.
Jupiter and Neptune form a powerful conjunction in your sign on April 12, and this is a good day to make a wish. The energy you naturally bring forth is being highlighted and well-received and you are shining with creativity and passion as you move into the month. Mars finishes its transit in your sign on April 29, and there is a New Moon Solar Eclipse the next day. The end of April is all about transformations within your personal community, communications, and perspective, and you are getting the full picture, Pisces.
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Ding. Ding. DING.
A life coach by the name of Thomas Leonard once said that “Clarity affords focus” and, believe you me, when it comes to dealing with other human beings, if you don’t get clear on where you stand when it comes to your interactions with them, you can very easily find yourself “focusing too much” on those who don’t deserve it and too little on those who absolutely do. And y’all, this lil’ PSA couldn’t be more relevant than when it comes to what I call “casual friendships.”
Let’s dig — and for some of us, dig our way out of — what it means to have a casual friend, so that you can get clear on if you really need those in your life…and if so…why?
Article continues after the video.
It Can’t Be Said Enough: Always Remember What “Casual” Means
GiphyThere’s a reason why I decided to share two videos by mental health coach Isaiah Frizzle at the top and bottom of this article. It’s because a lot of what he shares in both of them complements a piece that I wrote for the platform last year entitled, “This Is Just What Purposeful Relationships Look Like.”
It’s the author M. Scott Peck who once said, “Until you value yourself, you won't value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it” and please believe that the older (and hopefully more mature) you get, the more you tend to see just how valuable — and fleeting — time is; and that is what plays a huge role in motivating you want to only involve yourself with people, places, things and ideas that will honor your time — and when something is casual? In my opinion, it’s highly debatable that it’s worth much of your months, days, hours, or even too many of your minutes.
The main reason why is addressed in an article that I wrote back in the day entitled, “We Should Really Rethink The Term 'Casual Sex.'” The gist? When it comes to relationships, “casual” is certainly not a favorite word of mine because I know what it means. Have mercy — why would you want to invest your time, energy, and emotions into something that is, by definition, apathetic, indifferent, careless, lacking emotional intimacy, and/or is without purpose?
I don’t know about y’all but that sounds like a complete and total crap shoot to me — especially if you are going to go so far as to consider this type of dynamic a true friendship (check out “Ever Wonder If A Friend Is Just...Not That Into You?,” “6 Signs You're About To Make A Huge Mistake In Making Them A Close Friend,” “5 Signs Of A Toxic Friendship That Is Secretly Poisoning Your Life,” “12 Friend Facts That Might Cause You To Rethink (Some Of) Your Own,” and “Less & Less Of Us Have Close Friends These Days. Why Is That?” ).
To me, when you decide to call someone “friend,” it means that they are loyal, reliable, consistent, trustworthy and willing to be there to support you to the very best of their ability — even if it’s inconvenient to do so sometimes (check out “Life Taught Me That True Friendships Are 'Inconvenient'”). How in the world can you expect that from something that has the word “casual” in it?
And you know what? That actually segues into my next point about casual friendships pretty darn well.
Ponder the Purpose “Casual Friends” Serve in Your Life
GiphyA couple of years ago, Verywell Mind published an article entitled, “How the 4 Types of Friendship Fit Into Your Life.” The four that it listed were acquaintances (which I actually don’t consider to be friends; check out “6 Differences Between A Close Acquaintance And An Actual Friend”), casual friends, close friends, and lifelong friends. After reading the piece, I think they consider casual friends to be the “pleasure” friends that I mentioned in the article, “According To Aristotle, We Need ‘Utility’, ‘Pleasure’ & ‘Good’ Friends.”
And although I certainly get that, I think my “cause for pause” is calling those people “friends” when they probably should be called something like an associate or possibly even a buddy instead. Why do I feel this way? Well, I’ve shared in other articles that I think social media has jacked up vocabulary words and their true meaning on a billion different levels.
Take “friend,” for example. Facebook had us out here calling everyone we connected to on their platform “friends” when some of them, we’ve never even spoken to before — and I personally think that influenced, affected and perhaps even infected our psyche to the point where we will call folks, both online and off, “friend” even when they haven’t earned it and/or who possibly don’t deserve it.
That said, do I think that we all could use lighthearted interactions that don’t go very deep and are filled with not much more than fun? Sure. However, if we were to move this over into a sexual thing — those types of people would probably be called a sneaky link, and there is nothing significant or substantial about ‘em. In fact, if anything pretty much automatically comes with an expiration date, sneaky links would have to be it.
And that’s kind of the point that I’m trying to make about a casual friend — so long as you know that the word “casual” is being used to describe them, while you may enjoy the people who fit that bill, they aren’t really anything that you can or even should fully rely on. Instead, take them for what they are and don’t really expect much more than that. Otherwise, you could be in for some profound levels of disappointment. And who wants that?
Final point.
How a Casual Friend Can Become a Huge Red Flag
GiphyI’m telling you, y’all gonna quit clowning Tubi. LOL. To me, the best way to describe it is it’s the Cricket of current streaming apps. What I mean by that is, back when Cricket (the cell phone service) first came out, people, like me, who used it service got incessantly clowned because it was seen as a bootleg provider. Now it’s owned by AT&T, and as someone who has rocked with them since I was in my 20s, I don’t have one regret for doing so. Cricket has always been good to me, chile.
And Tubi? Well, when you get a chance, check out CNBC’s article, “CEO at 33, Tubi’s Anjali Sud on success hacks she learned at Amazon, IAC on way to top of Fox streaming” — take note of the moves the streaming app is making and the quality of programming that is transpiring in real time.
Anyway, I find myself bringing up Tubi more and more in my content because it helps to amplify some of the points that I like to make. This time, it’s a movie that’s (currently) on there calledRight Man, Wrong Woman. If you haven’t seen it before, I don’t want to give too much of the film away. What I will say is that the main female character, she had a casual friend and then she had a close friend.
That casual friend—the one who liked to kick it all of the time—was a lot of fun; however, dealing with her came with a ton of semi-unforeseen consequences. Meanwhile, the close friend? She’s what the Aristotle article (that I mentioned earlier) would call the “good friend” because she tried her best to hold her friend accountable.
And really, it shouldn’t be a shock that the casual friend turned out to be a plum trip because if someone is loads of entertainment and pleasure and yet they are indifferent towards you, they make careless decisions around you and/or they don’t really make known the purpose for you being in their life other than to pass some time — where really do you and that person have to go past drinks after work or dinner on a rooftop restaurant from time to time? And if that is all that the two of you are doing, again, why are they deserving of the word “friend”?
Hmph and don’t get me started on the lack of reciprocity that typically transpires when it comes to dealing with people like this because, while they won’t mind you spending your coins on them, taking their calls in the middle of the night or listening to all of their issues — when it comes time for them to show up for you, they very well may gaslight you into thinking that you are being dramatic, clingy or “doing the most.” Why? Well, it’s mostly because the two of you never really established what the hell the both of you are to one another.
And so, while you’re somewhere taking them seriously, they are out here seeing you casually, and as much as it might hurt to hear, that doesn’t automatically or necessarily make them a bad person. You shouldn’t expect much where no clarity is involved. After all, casual is just that: CASUAL.
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I’m hoping that you can now see why I entitled this piece in the way that I did. It’s because a red flag is pretty much a warning, and to me, a casual friend is about as big of an oxymoron (again, to me) as casual sex is. Friends and sex are both too intimate to be seen or treated casually. Oh, but if you step out and take that risk, you could find yourself getting far more involved than the other individual ever wanted to go, because casual is how things have always been. “Friend” was simply to get you more mentally and emotionally invested. SMDH.
American columnist Walter Winchell once said, “A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.” A wise person once said, “One good friendship will outlive forty average loves." Former President Ulysses S. Grant once said, “The friend in my adversity I shall always cherish most. I can better trust those who helped to relieve the gloom of my dark hours than those who are so ready to enjoy with me the sunshine of my prosperity.” Does any of this sound casual to you? Yeah, me neither.
Again, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t have people in your life who aren’t on deep levels. I’m just saying that you might want to consider putting them into another category than friend, because what friends do for people? There ain’t nothin’ even remotely casual about it, sis. Not even a lil’ bit.
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