The name Pam Grier has rang bells in the entertainment for over five decades. Her iconic name is undeniably recognizable in any room from here to Tokyo. The beloved Foxy Brown is a timeless treasure that turned 50 this year. Fast forward to the present and Pam is still captivating audiences with her latest role as Athena in Them: The Scare, but would you believe me if I told you it all happened by chance?
(L-R) Pam Grier, Joshua J. Williams, Deborah Ayorinde and Luke James attend a special Los Angeles screening of 'Them: The Scare'Michael Tullberg/Getty Images
Pam Grier started her career in her early 20s after moving to Los Angeles to work for a production company as a switchboard operator in the late 1960s. That gig didn't last long, as she was discovered and cast in her first film four years later in 1971's The Big Doll House. Pam reflected on her early beginnings, telling xoNecole in an exclusive interview that she actually never sought to be an actor. "When I started out, I was a novice—a student. I had no intention of becoming an actor," she explained. "I was working five jobs, living in a garage. I thought I'd be a camera person. Never an actor because I was in fear." Pam continued, "I had fear of emotion. Fear of being attacked, fear of fighting, fear of being injured or injuring someone else. I had a lot of issues I had to grow into and grow out of."
"When I started out, I was a novice—a student. I had no intention of becoming an actor. I was working five jobs, living in a garage. I thought I'd be a camera person."
She quickly learned that the fear was only holding her back and after her on-screen debut—her career quickly took off. The following year, in 1972, she appeared in four films and the success continued through 1973 when she landed one of her most popular films to date, Scream Blacula Scream. Looking back, it's safe to say Pam Grier is one of the originators of the Black horror film genre. "To see from 50 years ago to now, the technology and the innovation—and the IN YO FACE action, stories, and narratives," she recalled. "Back then you had to prepare your audience to see a genre of horror and you had to build your audience to see a woman doing martial arts."
Actress Pam Grier in 'Scream, Blacula, Scream.'Herbert Dorfman/Corbis via Getty Images
In 1974, she landed the role of Foxy Brown and the rest is history.
According to Pam, the early years had a big impact on her trajectory and taught her many valuable lessons including that fortune is on the other side of fear. Pam's epiphany is one that she stills holds close to her heart and it even partly inspired her latest character in some ways. "Athena in many ways encompasses a lot of the characters I've portrayed and [my] experiences because in theater and in this particular body of work—the first cut is the deepest. Take 1, that's it. There's no more you're done. You did it. You got there."
It is amazing to witness her iconic talent on-screen as Athena. It's had to believe that Pam Grier will celebrate her 75th birthday later this month. She has taught us many things as a Black woman with an unapologetic presence on-screen through generations and this should be yet another lesson: Fear just might be holding you back from your destiny!
Watch the full interview below.
Pam Grier Thought She Would Be A Camera Operator, 55 Years Later She's Still Stealing the Showyoutu.be
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It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Alistair Berg/Getty ImagesStep 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Getty ImagesStep 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
DMP/ Getty ImagesStep 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
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There have been other times when I'm writing, and suddenly, I get overwhelmed with emotion. I'm talking, tears streaming down my face, and having to pause to get myself together. Those moments are especially important to me because I began asking myself questions like, "Why did I get so emotional?" Which further allows me to keep journaling until I get to the root. But sometimes, it's just a purging of old feelings that I kept inside and was finally letting out.
Why I Decided To Have A Journaling Meet-Up
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Because journaling has been such a transformative practice for me, I wanted to share it with others and build community on similar ideas. That is one of the reasons why I created my brand, The Self-Care Writer. Not only did I want to provide self-care products like my Journaling & Self-Care Essentials Kit, but I also wanted to have events that were rooted in self-care and wellness.
So this year, I decided to have my first event. The new year often brings optimism as people are looking to make positive changes in their lives, and that's why I decided to have my event the weekend following New Year's Day. Thus, my event Release & Renew Journaling Meet-Up was created.
The Process
It was my first event, and while I wanted it to be nice, I also wanted something low-maintenance and free for the girlies. That's why I decided to make it a meet-up. It takes the pressure off of attendees and myself. I had it at a local Atlanta cafe so we wouldn't be forced to meet a food and beverage minimum.
Also, I was unsure of how many people were actually going to show up. I shared the meet-up with friends, posted on social media, and created an Eventbrite page. While I had a lot of tickets purchased through Evenbrite, you know how it is when something's free.
I capped the tickets at 25, and I had a total of eight girls show up. Most were friends, which I'm so grateful for. I was also proud that I got out of my comfort zone and took a chance at something I've wanted to do for a long time.
I had journal prompts for those who needed a little push and cute rose-gold pens with my website on them. After introductions and instructions, we mingled, ate, drank our coffees and teas, and journaled together.
What I Learned
Because it was my first event, I had low expectations, and I think that's best when planning something like this. The atmosphere seemed very encouraging, and everyone seemed to enjoy the space. However, I think we all could agree it was a little noisy at times, so it was hard to hear each other.
I hope to make this a monthly event, so having it in a quieter space or a restaurant with a private room would be ideal. I also would like to include more activities in the meet-ups to help build more community with each other. (I'm still collecting surveys, so more feedback is pending.)
The older I get, the more I believe in timing. I realized I had to go through certain transformations to become the person I am today to even create a brand like The Self-Care Writer. By showing up for myself through tools like journaling, I, in turn, can better show up for others.
While this is just the beginning, I am excited for what's to come. Who knows? I may even write a follow-up story about what else I've conquered since my first meet-up.
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