Nathalie Emmanuel On Her First Leading Role & The Liberation Of Cutting Her Hair
Landing her first role as the lead character in a film has been “surreal” for English actress Nathalie Emmanuel mostly because she remembers all the times she considered giving up on her dream career.
The Emmy-nominated actress, best known for portraying Missandei in HBO’s Game of Thrones, appearing alongside Kevin Hart and John Travolta in the former Quibi series Die Hart, and acting in the most recent films from the Fast & Furious franchise, is set to star in the horror film The Invitation. The film is out in theaters as of Aug. 26.
Emmanuel, 33, said the starring role is made all the more special by the fact that she’s working in a genre that doesn’t typically have diverse leading characters. “The idea of playing a female lead as a woman of color and in the horror genres space, it's just sort of, not really something that you see,” she tells xoNecole.
The actress wouldn’t give too much of the Dracula-inspired film away, but she described the premise as “the worst-case scenario of doing a DNA test and finding out your ancestry.” Emmanuel portrays Evie, an only child who has lost both of her parents when a newly discovered relative invites her to a seemingly glamorous destination wedding.
“It's on the backdrop of this very wealthy aristocracy in Britain, and the sort of power structures involved intersecting with a woman who is a Black, mixed-race and working class,” she says. According to Emmanuel, it was the female-centered lens through which director Jessica M. Thompson tells the story that originally drew her to the project. During her childhood in England, the actress says her parents were very protective of the media she consumed, but she says she got into vampire mythology later in life.
The Invitation is a long-time coming for an actress who first landed her first role in a West End theater production of The Lion King at just 10 years old. In 2013, she landed the role of Missandei on Game of Thrones while working in retail. “I was working in retail, and I was folding clothes and cleaning and doing things to get by,” she reveals. “After a long time of not getting seen for things or being cast in anything, you start to doubt yourself, and then you have to decide whether you're going to keep going or give up. That’s happened many times.”
Emmanuel is on the cusp of a new time in her career, but she’s also switching things up in her personal life, too. Earlier this year, she documented the emotional moment when she cut her signature curls and posted the video on social media. “There was something really empowering about shedding this thing that had so many complex emotions attached to it and just kind of starting again,” she says. Today, she wears her hair in a cropped cut, with her curls framing the top of her face. Cutting her hair is a decision Emmanuel says she’s been considering since she was a teenager, although the motivation has changed.
Despite being complimented as an adult for showcasing her natural hair on television, Emmanuel says struggled with feeling like her hair was a “problem that needed to be managed” as a teenager. “The first time I asked my mom, I was maybe 14 or 15. And she was right to say no, because I think it came from a place of frustration or seeing what was considered beautiful and not being that,” she notes.
As an adult, work demands and the comments she got from fans kept her from cutting her hair initially. “I was so proud of that and so happy that I could be that for somebody because I had such a long journey to that place myself. So I then I kept it because I wanted as many people as possible to feel good about their natural texture.”
Emmanuel is hoping to continue to inspire Black and biracial women, although this time on her own terms. With this new film, a forthcoming season of Die Hart (now on Roku), and a starring role in the forthcoming film Megalopolis alongside Adam Driver, Laurence Fishburne, and Forest Whitaker, she’s hoping to continue to showcase her range as an actress, too. “I've done the comedy stuff a bit. And now I'm doing a bit of horror. I've done the dramatic stuff, the fantasy thing. The more I can diversify my body of work, the better."
The Invitation is out in theaters now.
Featured image by Ilya S. Savenok/Getty Images for Sony Pictures Entertainment
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
Momo Productions/Getty
Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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Featured image by Courtney Hale/Getty Images