

A Conversation On Love, Leadership & Fear With Mack Wilds
“I talk to my friends all the time. Their DMs be crazy lit up with naked pictures—all types of craziness, and I get girls that hit me up and say, ‘yo I want to marry you.’”
Mack Wilds confesses this to me as if he’s surprised that women would be drawn to his dimpled, sometimes-crooked smile or his seemingly good-boy charm. Like the falsettos that he hit on the single “Don’t Turn Me Down” off of his debut album New York: A Love Story didn’t curl toes and provoke deep…umm…feelings. Or that his ability to slip in and out of multiple characters—his breakout role as the troubled teen in The Wire, the passionate pilot in Red Tails, the new kid on the block in 90210—doesn’t demonstrate his level of versatility and dedication to mastering his craft. Or perhaps we should ignore the fact that even Adele—a musical beast in her own right—saw something in this American boy that led to him being cast as the leading man in her record-breaking hit “Hello.” Yeah, Mack, I’m not buying that you don’t know why you’re deemed as husband-material.
Not to mention that he has this thing for love songs—ones that talk about embracing love, making love, and getting back to love like in the 90s. It’s no wonder that the ladies are taking him up on his invitation to be his dream girl.
But Mack Wilds is more than just a lover boy with good acting chops, he’s a self-proclaimed Renaissance Man that believes that “nothing’s too much” for him, and won’t stop until the world sees Mack Wilds as a brand, and not just one of the many characters that people identify him by.
While he’s busy building his legacy, the Staten Island native managed to slip in some time for good conversation about courtship, overcoming fear, and what makes him worthy of being a leading man. Trust me, you’ll fall in love with more than just his television characters.
Congrats on the new season of “The Breaks.” During the first season, you released a new single around the premiere. Was that intentional?
Mack Wilds and his "father" Method Man in "The Breaks."
You know what’s crazy, the way that it all came out and played out it was weird, uncanny timing. I was planning on dropping "Love In The 90's" anyway, but when the promo for The Breaks started ramping up and right after the Adele stuff I had already locked in everything with the label, so it was all perfect.
Your single "Love In The 90s," is an ode to old school love. It seems like in our generation the whole idea of love, marriage and even intimacy has kind of shifted. What is your perception of what love was back in the 90s vs. what it is today?
I think our generation, when it comes to what that old sense of love and courtship, it’s kind of disappeared. I think men and women on both sides have different expectations, and I think even in this information age we are too privy to a lot more information that we usually would get during a courtship scene, or during that romancing phase. So when you would take a girl out and chill with her you possibly realize where her mind is, or to even get even deeper, to see what her body looks like outside of her clothes. Now you can go on Instagram and see all of that. So I think the courtship and everything, a lot of stuff has changed for this generation. It’s not necessarily bad, it’s just a part of the generation.
Do you feel like the air of mystery is gone in a sense because everything is so easily available?
I think there still is going to be mystery when you first meet someone because you have to figure out who they really are. You can only get so much from a tweet, or you can only see so much on Snapchat or on Instagram. I think there’s still a certain level of mystery, I just think that the timing that we would get to know each other has changed. How long it would take to really build something strong has changed. I think a lot of times, those relationships that we know and love from the older days, they took a little more time to harvest and to make [a relationship] concrete. It’s not the relationships where you first meet the girl and you’re like, ‘you know I love you. I love everything I see on Instagram.'
What’s a lesson that your mom taught you about women?
To be smart, I think that’s the biggest thing. To be smart and think with the head that I have on my shoulders. Not the one anywhere else (laughs).
I read that Cancers always on lookout for a partner who would resemble his mother in terms of the perfection exuded by her. Is that true?
I think it is to a certain extent. My mom is an extremely strong woman. Raising six Wilds kids, it definitely gets crazy, but you know watching her and watching my dad take care of us and do everything that they needed to do to make sure that we were good, you can see the human spirit, you can see the strength. So I definitely look for that strength, that intelligence, that resilience in the different women that I encounter.
In an interview a couple of years ago you said that as an actor people look at you as a vessel and not as who you are. So who is Mack Wilds? Is it hard for people to fall in love with you versus his character or the idea of him?
I think once you actually get to know me, once you understand who I am and what I am, I think you automatically get a different sense of who I am. As Mack Wilds, I’m just a kid from the projects who loved being creative and used something that he loved to change his life, his family’s life, and hopefully change the lives of others, and continue to strive for more. I’m never really content with myself. I’m always reaching for my next dream and trying to make that come true. I’m never not working, so I think the girls that can deal with it, they fall in love with my work ethic. I’m not fully content with just sitting back and just chilling. I mean, I enjoy my time where I’m just sitting back at home on vacation or something you know you cut your phone off, chill in the crib, Netflix and chill it up. But I think there’s something that’s sexy about ambition. I’m extremely ambitious.
Does that make it hard for you to date or do you gravitate towards women who are equally ambitious or are you pretty open as long as they can handle your lifestyle?
I’m pretty open, but again ambition is a beautiful thing. I’d rather take towards the more intelligent, ambitious woman rather than someone who’s sitting home dealing with me and living through my ambitions.
[Tweet "I'd rather take towards an ambitious woman than someone living through my ambitions -@mackwilds"]
You mentioned courtship earlier. So, I’ve never been to Staten Island. Let’s say we’re going on a date in Stapleton (his hometown). Where are you taking me?
First and foremost, we’re going to get out of Stapleton (laughs).
Oh is it that bad?!
I’m just saying, it’s the projects. So unless you want to get some crown fried chicken.
Oh okay! So we’re out of Stapleton (laughs). Where are we going?
Honestly, I remember as kid when I first was just running around the city with any girl from Staten Island, a lot of people don’t leave Staten Island. So even getting on that ferry boat and just going somewhere, finding a dope little restaurant in Battery Park, or going to the movie theaters just across the water is an adventure. Then you have to start to get close to the person--just trust the person and that they won’t have you lost out here. But I knew my way around the city at 13 or 14, so just moving around trying to get off of Staten Island, it would be one of my go-to’s.
If a girl were to surprise you with a date, what’s one of your dating fantasies?
One of the things that I love, especially as a Cancer, I love the feeling of home. I move around a lot and I’m working a lot, so I don’t always get a chance to be home. So if she were to surprise me, a dope date would be a candlelight dinner at the house. Cook something for me at the crib. Make it real dope, romantic, sexy so that we don’t have to go nowhere else. We can watch the movies here, we can eat here, and then we can lead into other things (laughs).
You had an interview recently with Wendy Williams where you mentioned that you love dark skin women, and she kind of reacted in surprise. What did you think about her reaction?
Honestly, I didn’t think anything of it. Wendy is like family to me, so that’s a conversation that we have all the time. So I don’t think it was anything; it was her being playful. I don’t think that there was any type of ill intent towards what I was saying. Especially for me, like I said [in the interview], my mom is a brown skin woman, so growing up in an household with my mom who is brown skin and my aunt who is brown, like I have so many beautiful colors and women around me my entire life, you learn to appreciate every single color of a woman. It’s not like I would ever look down. I know some girls who would be considered dark skin that are way prettier than your average light skin girl, and vice versa. I think with Wendy in particular, especially since we talk about it all the time, I think it just got blown out of proportion.
You’ve been the leading man in a lot of videos (Adele's “Hello,” Bridget Kelly's “Act Like That,” Sevyn Streeter's “nEXt and “B.A.N.S.”). What does being a man and being a leader mean to you?
A leader, I think it’s not necessarily just about intelligence or being brave, it’s all of those things into one. It’s about being strong enough to lead something. To be the person who everyone has to follow and watch and pay attention to, and to understand that if you’re a leader people trust you with the mission. Whether it’s their lives, a song, a video, they trust you enough to push forward and to make the right choices in order to make this mission successful.
And to be a man I think is everything that we know about being a man. You always hear to be strong, to hold your own, to take care of the family and protect, and all that and more. Especially now, with the single mothers and the single fathers, you see fathers and men having to be nurturing and to be careful of hearts, and expectations.
Do you feel like there’s a lack of leadership among men or that women are not allowing men to be the leaders and they’re assuming those roles?
I think that could be part of it, but I think one of the biggest things about love that a lot of people don’t realize is the balance. You can’t be a man if you expect your woman to be a man. It’s a balance. You’re putting too much on one side of the scale. People should look at love a lot more like a balance system, especially now that there are so many strong-minded, amazing women that can go out here and hustle and protect just like any other man. When it comes to love, the man that you’re with you’re supposed to have some sort of balance with him. If you’re going to be the man, then he’s going to have to assume the role of more of a feminine one, and vice versa.
If you’re going to be a man out in the world, when you come home be the woman for your man.
I think it all depends on how we all look at it, and I don’t think we have enough leaders telling us that because they never went through it. It’s brand new. Back in their day courtships and everything that they were doing was completely different. That’s why I say I can’t blame anyone, it’s just that we don’t have any representatives that are old enough that we can look to like, ‘yo, OG help me with this!’ Steve Harvey was the closest one so far with his books.
What’s one of your biggest fears that you had to overcome?
One of the biggest fears, and I think it’s any kid anywhere in the world because I was legit about to make it just a kid from the projects thing, but I think any kid in the world you have fear of it not working and having to go back to your regular everyday norm. My regular everyday norm was back in the projects. I was cutting hair in my dad’s barbershop. I was in school. When you get a taste of something different, to go back to your every day norm is scary. You don’t know if you’ll be able to keep it up or even compete with any of the stuff that you’ve done in the past. If people would look at you as a has-been. Or something. So I think that’s one of the biggest fears.
Fear is a crazy thing, something that you fear the most will lead you to that fear. You being afraid of that fear will lead you into that fear. So I try to keep the right people around me, my parents are all up in my ear at the same time. And my friends and my family, you kind of keep the mindset of I don’t want to do that so I’m not going to do it. Keep working and keep striving and keep fighting for more.
[Tweet "When you get a taste of something different, to go back to your every day norm is scary."]
What’s something that you’re working on within yourself?
I think staying as proactive as possible. A lot of times I feel I don’t use time as much as I want to, and that sounds crazy because I work all the damn time. But there’s a lot of times that I’m sitting down and I’m like man, I could really be playing my guitar right now or I could be writing this script right now. Or man, I could write up this treatment for another music video, and I guess one thing I’ve learned to work on myself is being a little more proactive with my time.
What do you want your legacy to be?
When I’m long gone, I want people to know me as the new age Renaissance Man. I’m not a “jack of all trades and a master of none,” I’m legit a Renaissance Man. Anything I touch has a certain quality of amazing--a certain level of dopeness attached to it. If you see Mack Wilds or the brand attached to it, you understand that it’s a certain quality, and that I will never rest unless I give you the best that I have.
Are you still living by the words “nothing’s too much” or has that changed?
Nah, I definitely live by that now, there’s so many scripts that I’m reading right now, that would make the average man’s head spin off. But I don’t think there’s anything that I can’t accomplish. I don’t think there’s nothing that is too much, so I definitely live by those words.
Tell me about the tattoo on your right arm. I see John 3:16, what was the inspiration behind that tattoo?
It’s a skull with a crown of thorns. It’s adorned by roses and it has the banner that says John 3:16, you know that’s when God gave up his own begotten son for our salvation. So with the skull, with the crown of thorns and the roses around it, it keeps me in the right mindset that there's something beautiful that can come from something major that you lose. You can lose something, but you gain something even greater. You just have to remember to see the beauty in the loss.
[Tweet "There's something beautiful that can come from something major that you lose. - @MackWilds"]
I got it right after I finished 90210, and I remember thinking what are we going to do now? It was a bittersweet feeling, so I was in a weird place of trying to figure out how I was going to move and how I was going to do everything. And Salaam [Remi] called and I was thinking if I was to keep going on 90210, I wouldn’t have been able to get this album off and make the album that I wanted. So the tattoo just symbolizes that moment in my life where I didn’t know what to do because I had just lost something, but it was something beautiful that came out of that loss.
What’s something about you that a lot of people don’t know?
How into the arts I am. I’m very much an artist in the sense that I use other art forms and things that inspire me for my music or character development with acting. I try to use all different art forms: music, paintings I see, drawings, graffiti or whatever I try to use all of that to help me with other art that I do.
Featured image by Santiago Felipe/WireImage
Kiah McBride writes technical content by day and uses storytelling to pen real and raw personal development pieces on her blog Write On Kiah. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter at @writeonkiah.
Smile, Sis! These Five Improvements Can Upgrade Your Oral Hygiene Instantly
This article is in partnership with Sensodyne.
Our teeth are connected to so many things - our nutrition, our confidence, and our overall mood. We often take for granted how important healthy teeth are, until issues like tooth sensitivity or gum recession come to remind us. Like most things related to our bodies, prevention is the best medicine. Here are five things you can do immediately to improve your oral hygiene, prevent tooth sensitivity, and avoid dental issues down the road.
1) Go Easy On the Rough Brushing: Brushing your teeth is and always will be priority number one in the oral hygiene department. No surprises there! However, there is such a thing as applying too much pressure when brushing…and that can lead to problems over time. Use a toothbrush with soft bristles and brush in smooth, circular motions. It may seem counterintuitive, but a gentle approach to brushing is the most effective way to clean those pearly whites without wearing away enamel and exposing sensitive areas of the teeth.
2) Use A Desensitizing Toothpaste: As everyone knows, mouth pain can be highly uncomfortable; but tooth sensitivity is a whole different beast. Hot weather favorites like ice cream and popsicles have the ability to trigger tooth sensitivity, which might make you want to stay away from icy foods altogether. But as always, prevention is the best medicine here. Switching to a toothpaste like Sensodyne’s Sensitivity & Gum toothpaste specifically designed for sensitive teeth will help build a protective layer over sensitive areas of the tooth. Over time, those sharp sensations that occur with extremely cold foods will subside, and you’ll be back to treating yourself to your icy faves like this one!
3) Floss, Rinse, Brush. (And In That Order!): Have you ever heard the saying, “It’s not what you do, but how you do it”? Well, the same thing applies to taking care of your teeth. Even if you are flossing and brushing religiously, you could be missing out on some of the benefits simply because you aren’t doing so in the right order. Flossing is best to do before brushing because it removes food particles and plaque from places your toothbrush can’t reach. After a proper flossing sesh, it is important to rinse out your mouth with water after. Finally, you can whip out your toothbrush and get to brushing. Though many of us commonly rinse with water after brushing to remove excess toothpaste, it may not be the best thing for our teeth. That’s because fluoride, the active ingredient in toothpaste that protects your enamel, works best when it gets to sit on the teeth and continue working its magic. Rinsing with water after brushing doesn’t let the toothpaste go to work like it really can. Changing up your order may take some getting used to, but over time, you’ll see the difference.
4) Stay Hydrated: Upping your water supply is a no-fail way to level up your health overall, and your teeth are no exception to this rule. Drinking water not only helps maintain a healthy pH balance in your mouth, but it also washes away residue and acids that can cause enamel erosion. It also helps you steer clear of dry mouth, which is a gateway to bad breath. And who needs that?
5) Show Your Gums Some Love: When it comes to improving your smile, you may be laser-focused on getting your teeth whiter, straighter, and overall healthier. Rightfully so, as these are all attributes of a megawatt smile; but you certainly don’t want to leave gum health out of the equation. If you neglect your gums, you’ll start to notice the effects of plaque buildup, which can irritate the gums and cause gingivitis, the earliest stage of gum disease. Seeing blood while brushing and flossing is a tell-tale sign that your gums are suffering. You may also experience gum recession — a condition where the gum tissue surrounding your teeth pulls back, exposing more of your tooth. Brushing at least twice a day with a gum-protecting toothpaste like Sensodyne Sensitivity and Gum, coupled with regular dentist visits, will keep your gums shining as bright as those pearly whites.
An author by the name of Alexandra Katehakis once said this about orgasms: “Great spiritual teachers throughout the ages have stated that orgasm is the closest some people come to a spiritual experience because of the momentary loss of self. Why is this true? Because with spiritual sex, you move beyond orgasm into a connection with yourself, your partner, and the divine — recognizing them all as one.”
If it’s counterintuitive to what you’ve ever thought about orgasms, believe it or not, there are even pastors who have said that climaxing is the closest comprehension of heaven on this side of it: it is an extreme kind of bliss that is indescribable and is best experienced between two people who share a sacrificial kind of love for one another.
Although this might seem like a heavy way to intro this particular topic, because the O Method is an orgasm-achieving technique that centers around housing energy, embracing the mental practice of manifestation, and the attempt to achieve the best climaxes ever — it all works together pretty well if you ask me. If you want to take your orgasms to the next level, it’s important that you get out of yourself (to a certain extent), that you see the spiritual role that manifestation plays, and that you are open to trying new things. No doubt about it.
So, let’s learn more about what the O Method is all about and how it very well could be just what you’ve been looking for…even if you didn’t know it.
What Is the “O Method” All About?
Question: When’s the last time you’ve had an orgasm? Not just any orgasm — I mean a really mind-blowing one (I’ll give you a second to think about it). Now, what if you could manifest that experience to the point where it wasn’t a rare occurrence but something that happened almost every time that you and your partner had sex with each other? How absolutely awesome would that be?
That is pretty much what the O Method is all about — helping you achieve the kind of orgasms (and sexual pleasure, in general) that you desire through the practice of manifestation. And since your biggest sex organ is your brain, it would make perfect sense that even with all of the tips and techniques that you might learn to do as far as your body is concerned, honing in on what you think about is super imperative to sexual fulfillment, too. And that’s just where manifestation comes in.
What If You’ve Never “Manifested” Anything Before?
Before we get into a quick lesson on manifestation, I think it’s important to mention two things. One, for the cynics, there is a lot of truth in the fact that it’s got some solid spiritual basis to it because even the Good Book says that as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he (Proverbs 23:7). At the same time, that same Good Book tells us that faith without works is dead (James 2:14-26). So, while it is always a good idea to focus on good, positive, and productive thoughts, just thinking about them isn’t enough — at some point, you’ve also gotta get out here and DO something (bookmark that).
Okay, with that mini-sermon out of the way, whether it’s in the bedroom or not, manifestation is basically about focusing on something tangible that you desire, harnessing your energy in such a way that your words and actions are directed towards that longing until what you want, well, manifests. For the record, aside from this having a spiritual backing to it, in many ways, science cosigns on manifesting, too. There is actually a scientific process known as neuroplasticity that consists of reframing your mind so that your actions ultimately end up aligning with your goals — and that is another way to look at manifestation.
So, what if you’re someone who has never set out to do a manifestation practice before? No worries. Something that’s awesome about it is there are several different approaches that you can take.
Some people manifest what they want in their lives via:
- Journaling
- Visualization/Creating vision boards
- Writing down their desires before going to bed (so that they can “download” them into their dream state)
- Creating mantras and affirmations
- Applying the 369 Manifestation Method (you can learn more about that here)
- Meditating
- Learning more about what you want to manifest (which brings forth clarity)
This is important to keep in mind because, when it comes to manifesting the types of orgasms that you want to have, as you can see, you can try different manifestation methods until you find one (or ones) that you are truly comfortable with. One that can ease you into the entire process rather smoothly is something known as sex journaling.
How Sex Journaling Can Actually Help You to Have an Orgasm
As a writer, I’m a big fan of journaling. Mostly because it’s a way to get out some of your deepest thoughts and feelings so that you’re able to really process what is happening inside of you in a private setting. And when it comes to sex journaling, specifically, it’s all about centering yourself on the things sexually that you want to “unpack,” get clarity on or come to some revelations about. For instance, if there’s only been one partner from your past who’s been able to help you achieve the type of orgasms that you wish to manifest, journaling about what makes him different from the other guys can provide you with some solid ah-ha moments.
Or if you need help getting as specific as possible about the sexual experiences that you’re after, journaling can help to make that happen for you — because one thing that manifesting reminds us all to do is be as specific as possible.
Yeah, simply saying, “I want to have better sex” isn’t detailed enough when you want to get your energy to match with your desires — instead, describe how all of your senses should feel in the experience, along with why, that can get you so much closer to achieving your goal. Once those things are documented, you can segue into creating mantras and/or meditation that are based on them. Yeah, sex journaling really is an underrated superpower on a lot of levels (check out “The Art Of Sex Journaling (And Why You Should Do It)”).
5 Tips for Making the O Method Work for You
Now that you know more about what the O Method is and how manifestation plays a direct role in its process, let’s talk about five ways to make the O Method truly effective in your own (sex) life.
1. Focus, FULLY, on your feminine energy. What do rose quartz, amethyst, moonstone (which is a Gemini birthstone as well; yes, I’m a Gemini), selenite, and rhodonite all have in common? They’re crystals that help you to go deeper into your divine feminine energy. Traits that are associated with this include compassion, creativity, kindness, gentleness, and sensuality (feminine energy is also accepting and forgiving). If you were to study energy from a biological standpoint, it’s about producing change, responding to stimuli, and having the ability to do what needs to be done (work). So, when it comes to manifesting the kind of orgasms or sexual experiences that you want, using things like your creativity and gentleness in your thoughts and actions can play a role in bringing balance to your partner’s masculinity, which can create a profound sense of pleasure — after all, opposites do attract.
2. Don’t hold back on what it is that you desire. Whenever I interview sex therapists, something that they all say is, a huge mistake that people make as far as sexual satisfaction is concerned is, they have walls up — not just with their partners but even within themselves. Sometimes, there is intimidation, fear, or even shame around what they really want to happen during sex to the point where they aren’t able to channel their energy fully in those directions in order to manifest what they want. For the O Method to work, you can’t let those types of negative emotions hinder you; the more you are able to articulate what you want and how you want it, the better chance you have of making it happen. So yes, get graphic. As graphic as possible.
3. Make manifestation a daily practice. Repetition is important when it comes to manifestation. That’s because the more you declare what you desire (a mantra), get still and think on it (meditation), or look at the “art” that you’ve created surrounding it (visualization), the quicker it becomes a part of you. So yes, make manifestation a daily practice. For instance, if one of your mantras is, “I am going to have intensely passionate orgasms, one right after the other,” don’t just state that 15 minutes before sex is going to happen. Wake up and declare it. Then say it on your lunch break. And again before turning in. The more your thoughts are “streamlined” in this way, the easier it will be for your body to follow suit.
4. Share this practice with your partner. If you were to do even more research on the O Method, one thing that most of the articles will mention is it’s a practice that you can do alone or with your partner. Indeed. However, I just want to make sure that you get into your psyche that great sex is, in part, about good communication. And so, the more comfortable you are sharing with your partner what you are doing as far as the O Method is concerned and what you ultimately want to happen as a result of the practice, the easier it will be for him to “match your energy” — both in and out of the bedroom. And when your partner is on the same page as you? That definitely increases the chances of attaining your sexual desires — exponentially so.
5. Stay in the moment. While I was reading one article on manifestation, I really appreciated something that the author said: manifestation isn’t some supernatural power. In other words, while it can be beneficial, it’s not like you can just think of something, and it instantly appears out of nowhere. Manifesting is a discipline, and it must be accompanied by action, consistency, and patience — this means that you must also practice mindfulness. Meaning, now that you know better what you’re looking to achieve as far as sex is concerned, every time that it transpires, maintain a level of positive energy, remember what your end goal is, and then determine in your mind to enjoy the moments as they come. Remember, manifestation isn’t to add stress…it’s to cultivate clarity.
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At the end of the day, the O Method is simply a way of reminding you that your mind plays a huge role in your sexual pleasure, and when you channel it and your energy exactly where you want them both to go, you’ll be amazed what your body is capable of doing…and accomplishing.
So, what kind of orgasm are you wanting to achieve? You’ve got a tool to get you there. USE IT.
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