July is the month to focus on allowing yourself to receive. There are beautiful opportunities for blessings this month when you can get out of your own way, and release self-doubt. With Cancer Season here, emotions are flowing, love is showing up, and home is wherever your happiness is. The power of attraction is strong this month as Pallas enters Gemini on July 4 as well, and deep insights are prevailing. July is the time to gain the clarity and answers you have been looking for, and decide where to move forward from there.
On July 5, Mars moves into Taurus until August 20, and there is strong importance on values, comfort, family, satisfaction, and safety right now. While Mars is in Taurus we are motivated to accumulate and indulge a little. Taurus makes us balance our checkbooks, but this sign also loves their pleasure, and with Jupiter moving retrograde this month, we have been reminded of the importance of non-overindulgence. Mars is overall here to give you a clear view of what happiness feels and looks like to you and to allow more of this heart-centered energy into your life, with balance.
Mercury transits both Cancer and Leo this month, and while Mercury is in Cancer until July 19, communications are colored with a more emotional display. Sensitivities are heightened, and overall the gifts are in speaking from the heart right now and gaining emotional understanding. Once Mercury moves into Leo towards the end of the month, the focus turns to self-expression, personal passion, and defining your personal truths. The Full Moon of July is occurring in Capricorn on July 13 and is the Full Buck Moon of the year. This Full Moon is a time to get grounded, release old stories that restrict your beliefs today, write a list of gratitude, and remember what holds value for you.
Chiron and Jupiter both go retrograde in Aries this month at the end of July, and there is healing and divine contemplation that wants to take place now. Over the next few months, revelations will be taking place, and your worldview expands as Jupiter retrograde brings things front and center to be addressed before moving forward again. Jupiter retrograde is about preparing for blessings, redefining your intentions for them, and gaining some spiritual insight through it all. The New Moon in Leo on July 28 is making sure the month ends with a dramatic flair, and fireworks are appearing. The more you keep the faith and believe you deserve all good things this month, the more you are aligned with what is.
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleAries July 2022 Horoscope
Life is moving forward, and you are journeying through new experiences this month, Aries. July is a time of awakening for you, and a space where you are moving through an energetic shift in your life. Things are changing, but it’s nothing your free spirit can’t fully take advantage of. This is the month to expand your worldview and to see where new perspectives will take you. Everything comes together when you can trust yourself and the doors that are opening for you now.
Chiron and Jupiter are currently transiting through your sign, and they both go retrograde this month. On July 19, Chiron, the wounded healer, will enter retrograde in Aries until December 23, and Jupiter in Aries will go retrograde on July 28 until November 23. You are in the process of completing one cycle and manifesting another. You are in a major cleanse this month and are making space for happiness to continue to grow.
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleTaurus July 2022 Horoscope
July is a month of release, and recovery for you, Taurus. You are seeing some goals and achievements come to fruition right now, and you are also moving through a space of healing from the past and what it’s taken to get you here. Your guidance for the month is to give yourself kindness and safety as you move through this growth process in your life and to believe in the intentions you are seeding right now.
With Mars entering Taurus at the start of the month from July 5 until August 20, you have passion and stamina on your side right now. The energy is with you to see some important goals through, and with Mars in your sign over the next month, you have the inspiration and motivation to do so. July is your month of releasing yourself from the past, gaining a new vision, and reclaiming your power, and success.
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleGemini July 2022 Horoscope
July is all about gaining insight and getting the answers you have been looking for, Gemini. There is incredible wisdom and insight to grab ahold of this month, and the clarity is flowing in your life. You are being guided to speak up for what you believe in, and to show up for your unique ideas and perspectives. Pallas enters Gemini from July 4 until September 6, further enhancing the coming together and inner clarity you are experiencing this month.
Your ruling planet Mercury will be moving through your 2nd house of finances until July 19, and your mind is flowing where the money is going. This is a good month to get organized, go over your finances, and plan for the future. The New Moon in Leo on the 28th before the month ends is your time of receiving important messages and following the signs. The clarity that is coming into your life in July is game-changing, Gemini.
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleCancer July 2022 Horoscope
This month is all about allowing. Cancer, July is your season, and this Cancer Season is all about opening up to receive the beautiful blessings that are flowing towards you this month. You are an intuitive Moonchild, and this month you are connecting to this sensitive strength of yours. Remember the gift of your existence, and allow others to recognize and appreciate you this month, Cancer.
Mercury enters your sign on July 5 until July 19, and Venus enters Cancer on July 17 until August 11, making July a time where you are gaining mental clarity, having important conversations, moving around, and also a month where you are feeling the love. With the Full Moon happening mid-month also occurring in your 7th house of love and relationships, the universe has one mission for you this month Cancer: for you to know how loved you are and to feel that within.
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleLeo July 2022 Horoscope
July is all about opening the heart, Leo. You are rising above previous doubts and concerns, and claiming your power in all situations. This is the month to believe in your dreams and to believe in the gifts of love. There have been challenges you have had to move through this year, a lot of them unexpected, but that doesn’t mean you will have to continue to live on a rollercoaster when there is solid ground for you to walk on right now.
July is a powerful month for you overall, with Leo Season beginning this month. This year Mercury will be entering Leo from July 19 until August 4, Leo Season begins on July 22, and there is New Moon in Leo on July 28. July is a month of recognizing the opportunities and peace that comes from letting go of restrictions and allowing yourself to be loved and blessed by the divine, Leo.
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleVirgo July 2022 Horoscope
This is a month of rejuvenation and bringing things into divine order, Virgo. Positive resolutions and outcomes are happening for you in July, and this is the month to believe in a miracle. Don’t dismiss the possibilities of something really good happening this month, and keep your eyes open for a helping hand. You deserve more time and space to just be. This month is about learning the truth and beauty of doing less and gaining more.
Friendships, community, your network, and where you see yourself going from here are all key themes for you in July. This is a month of forming new connections and strengthening ones that have remained unmoved through the transitions of this year. You are recharging your spirit this month and with a Full Moon in a fellow earth sign, Capricorn, happening in your 5th house of romance this month, July is sure to be full of pleasant surprises.
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleLibra July 2022 Horoscope
Trust the process, Libra. July is all about remaining in your peace and finding your balance through what is becoming. You are thinking a lot about your career goals, achievements, and responsibilities in the home space. Finding the balance between all the things you want to do and be can be difficult at times, and this month is about giving yourself the time to figure out what works for you and your divine flow right now.
The Full Moon this month is occurring in your 4th house of home and family, and this is a good time of the month to declutter, cleanse the home, rest, and regain your center. A few days later, your ruling planet Venus moves into your 10th house of career, and you are evolving into some new spheres of success this month. Before July ends, there is a New Moon in your house of friendships, and you are feeling a new sense of support in life moving into August.
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleScorpio July 2022 Horoscope
July is about recalling your power, Scorpio. You have the divine insight to move through previous challenges and obstacles, and paths are clearing for you this month. There is a deep understanding that is coming into your world in July, and what is coming full circle for you now is everything needed to feel protected and grounded moving forward. This month is about allowing yourself to live by your standards and your truths, and doing so confidently.
The Full Moon on the 13th of this month is moving through your house of the mind, and with this being a Full Moon, you are seeing with clear eyes. The clarity is there, and Venus moving into your 9th house of spirituality and adventure a few days later, is birthing new ideas and opportunities into your life. Before July ends Jupiter goes retrograde in your 6th house, and you are focused on your personal healing and empowerment as the month ends.
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleSagittarius July 2022 Horoscope
July is a month of a river of blessings flowing into your life, Sagittarius. You have set yourself up for success and this is the month of experiencing more of those treasured moments. Powerful blessings and manifestations are appearing for you now, and the universe is giving you a big YES to proceed forward. You have listened to your intuition and lived by your personal truths, and have moved into some fortunate circumstances.
The Leo New Moon on the 28th is a passionate affair that you can get on board with, and this New Moon is fueling your sense of adventure and excitement. By the end of the month, you are setting your intentions for the future, and dreaming up the most divine vacations your soul can think of. Your ruling planet Jupiter goes retrograde on the same day until November, and you are being reminded as well, of the importance of following your bliss balanced with logic.
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleCapricorn July 2022 Horoscope
July is a month of rising above and coming together in love, Capricorn. Soulmate connections are moving into your life this month, and you are connecting with the gifts of clarity of the heart. You have found an inner peace that is both strengthening and also vulnerable, and it’s attracting new experiences for you in love. This is the month to let go of what was, and live in the beauty of what is here today.
Mid-July there is a Full Moon in your sign on July 13. This Full Moon is a time of personal revelation for you, and also a time where you are closing a major chapter in your life. Take as much time as you need with your healing and growth, and trust that where you are going from here is so much better than where you have been. Venus enters your house of love a few days later, and it’s about showing up for divine partnerships right now.
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleAquarius July 2022 Horoscope
July is a dynamic month for you, Aquarius. Some deep transformations are taking place this month, and you are living in your wisdom, empowerment, and passion. You are being reminded this month that you are divinely protected with every step you take in life and that you can create some major breakthroughs in your life with the power of belief. July is about being fearless in your pursuits, and about allowing your truth and wisdom to shine.
The Full Moon happening mid-month is occurring in your 12th house of endings, dreams, and the subconscious, and you are ready to let go of what hasn’t served right now. You are releasing old patterns and limitations, and allowing your blessings to unfold. By the end of the month, there is a New Moon in your opposite sign of Leo, and this New Moon is a time of new developments in love. July is all about taking your time and going at your own pace while light unfolds.
PiscesLaci Jordan for xoNecolePisces July 2022 Horoscope
July is all about the universe fueling your world with divine support, love, and compassion. This month is a time of nurturing yourself and what you are bringing to fruition right now, Pisces. There is support with you as you take some time to sort through what is and figure out where your heart stands now. July is all about releasing yourself from any attachments to outcomes and allowing the path of least resistance.
With one of your ruling planets, Jupiter, going retrograde on the same day as the Leo New Moon this month on July 28, you are finding the balance between what you need to allow some more time to unfold, and what you are moving forward with now. It’s about giving yourself the grace to move through this time and about speaking up for yourself and what you need as well. Remember how supported you are, Pisces.
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In a xoNecoleexclusive, the iconic actress opens up about embracing this season of her life, new projects, and overall being a “bad motherfucker.” Gabrielle reveals that she was 37 years old when she was diagnosed with perimenopause and is still going through it at 51 years old. Mayo Clinic says perimenopause “refers to the time during which your body makes the natural transition to menopause, marking the end of the reproductive years.”
“I haven't crossed over the next phase just yet, but I think part of it is when you hear any form of menopause, you automatically think of your mother or grandmother. It feels like an old-person thing, but for me, I was 37 and like not understanding what that really meant for me. And I don't think we focus so much on the word menopause without understanding that perimenopause is just the time before menopause,” she tells us.
Gabrielle Union
Photo by Brian Thomas
"But you can experience a lot of the same things during that period that people talk about, that they experienced during menopause. So you could get a hot flash, you could get the weight gain, the hair loss, depression, anxiety, like all of it, mental health challenges, all of that can come, you know, at any stage of the menopausal journey and like for me, I've been in perimenopause like 13, 14 years. When you know, most doctors are like, ‘Oh, but it's usually about ten years, and I'm like, ‘Uhh, I’m still going (laughs).’”
Conversations about perimenopause, fibroids, and all the things that are associated with women’s bodies have often been considered taboo and thus not discussed publicly. However, times are changing, and thanks to the Gabrielle’s and the Tia Mowry’s, more women are having an authentic discourse about women’s health. These open discussions lead to the creation of more safe spaces and support for one another.
“I want to be in community with folks. I don't ever want to feel like I'm on an island about anything. So, if I can help create community where we are lacking, I want to be a part of that,” she says. “So, it's like there's no harm in talking about it. You know what I mean? Like, I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change. I'm just getting better and stronger and more intelligent, more wise, more patient, more compassionate, more empathetic. All of that is very, very welcomed, and none of it should be scary.”
The Being Mary Jane star hasn’t been shy about her stance on therapy. If you don’t know, here’s a hint: she’s all for it, and she encourages others to try it as well. She likens therapy to dating by suggesting that you keep looking for the right therapist to match your needs. Two other essential keys to her growth are radical transparency and radical acceptance (though she admits she is still working on the latter).
"I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change."
Gabrielle Union and Kaavia Union-Wade
Photo by Monica Schipper/Getty Images
“I hope that a.) you recognize that you're not alone. Seek out help and know that it's okay to be honest about what the hell is happening in your life. That's the only way that you know you can get help, and that's also the only other way that people know that you are in need if there's something going on,” she says, “because we have all these big, very wild, high expectations of people, but if they don't know what they're actually dealing with, they're always going to be failing, and you will always be disappointed. So how about just tell the truth, be transparent, and let people know where you are. So they can be of service, they can be compassionate.”
Gabrielle’s transparency is what makes her so relatable, and has so many people root for her. Whether through her TV and film projects, her memoirs, or her social media, the actress has a knack for making you feel like she’s your homegirl. Scrolling through her Instagram, you see the special moments with her family, exciting new business ventures, and jaw-dropping fashion moments. Throughout her life and career, we’ve seen her evolve in a multitude of ways. From producing films to starting a haircare line to marriage and motherhood, her journey is a story of courage and triumph. And right now, in this season, she’s asking, “What’s next?”
“This is a season of discovery and change. In a billion ways,” says the NAACP Image Award winner. “The notion of like, ‘Oh, so and so changed. They got brand new.’ I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
"I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
She continues, “So I'm just trying to figure out what's next. You know what I mean? I'm jumping into what's next. I'm excited going into what's next and new. I'm just sort of embracing all of what life has to offer.”
Look out for Gabrielle in the upcoming indie film Riff Raff, which is a crime comedy starring her and Jennifer Coolidge, and she will also produce The Idea of You, which stars Anne Hathaway.
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This shift is a significant change for couples. Let’s face it: no one wants to be in a sexless marriage or relationship. But how can couples effectively confront the impact of fading physical intimacy on the overall health of their enduring partnership?
"I have found that many factors influence one's desire to dive, and it is often not a majority of just one thing. Most people assume that if they don't desire [sex], they are no longer physically attracted, but in my experience, that has little to do with it most of the time," explained Brittanni Young, LMFT, CST.
"Some of the heavy contributors that I see most often include excessive goal orientation towards orgasm, people not prioritizing their own sexuality, and the landfill of ‘should’s’ that develop from toxic sexual scripts created long ago in upbringing," she added.
Furthermore, these issues are not exclusive to any particular orientation, but it does manifest differently.
Young is a licensed marriage and family therapist, sexologist, and board-certified sex therapist who practices in Georgia and Florida. She has worked in the sexology field for over a decade. Young helps couples and individuals looking to get through challenges of all facets facing sexuality and intimacy, such as desire mismatch, over-compulsion, and dysfunctions. She recently launched a deck of intimacy connection cards called "Show Me Your Cards." Young is working on another product that helps teach children to consent and negotiate appropriate touch. She sat down with xoNecole to discuss what causes the decline in the bedroom, the myth of 'lesbian bed death,' and recommendations on overcoming "bed death."
The Decline In Intimacy
Intimacy often dwindles within relationships, a phenomenon triggered by various factors such as stress, the insidious monotony of routine, and the toxicity of unresolved conflicts, to name a few. While couples manage daily life, exchanging intimate desires and concerns may take a backseat. Sadly, this gradually erodes the closeness once shared in the relationship.
"Typically, the first thing I do when working with a couple on desire challenges is rule out medical causes by referring them to their primary care physician or other provider they are working with," Young shared. "There are times when unmanaged or mismanaged conditions factor into low desire levels. Also, many medications can wreak havoc on keeping desire levels up, such as antidepressants, SSRIs, anti-anxiety, and blood pressure medications, to name a few."
Jeff Bergen/ Getty Images
"Next, I look at the state of the relationship. If there is dissatisfaction in the relationship, then it definitely affects how close and intimate one wants to be to another. There are also plenty of individual factors one can bring into the equation, such as low self-esteem, anxiety, depression, feelings of shame or guilt around one's own sexuality, and external life stressors that can get in the way. I find that life stressors can be a big one for folks, as once you get in the habit of not prioritizing sex, it tends to stick," she added.
Fortunately, there are ways to prevent "bed death." It can involve prioritizing your wants and open communication about sexual needs.
"What tends to be effective for all couples is taking an inventory of how satisfied they are with their sexual behaviors and engagement. Being truthful in this vein can be the start of unlocking inhibitions that can keep you from seeking out and being genuinely vulnerable in intimate spaces," Young explained. "Next, I suggest opening up lines of communication around these truths. When people assume that nothing can be done, hope is lost."
The Myth Of 'Lesbian Bed Death'
The notion of "lesbian bed death" perpetuates a simplistic and inaccurate stereotype about the sexual dynamics within lesbian relationships. Contrary to the myth, the experience of a decline in intimacy is not universal among lesbian couples. The diverse spectrum of relationships among women challenges this oversimplified narrative, emphasizing that the complexities of sexual dynamics extend beyond stereotypical assumptions.
"The notion of 'lesbian bed death' is based on a research study done by Pepper Schwartz in 1983 that found that lesbian couplings fell behind in sexual frequency compared to heterosexual and gay male couplings," Young revealed.
"Several other studies [after] have replicated these findings but give very little information about sexual satisfaction. Despite there being more research needed overall in the sexuality field, more recent research did find that when it comes to the length of sexual encounters, lesbian couples had the longest duration of encounters. To that end, sexual quality over quantity is a better marker of satisfaction, and that is what I pay most attention to in my work. With that said, dissatisfaction can happen in all couplings over time," the sexologist continued.
Factors influencing reduced intimacy among lesbian couples may include communication challenges, societal pressures, and individual variations in libido. Menstruation can also play a role, with some couples navigating discomfort or hormonal changes during this period.
"There are certainly some nuances that come into play with lesbian couples that differ from heterosexual or other-oriented couples. As I stated earlier, physiological factors can factor into the rise and fall of libido. The hormone fluctuations that come from menstruation and menopause can impact desire levels, and it is double present in lesbian couples. Another nuance is the lack of a sexual script from society on lesbian sexual behavior. There are patriarchal roots to sexual research, which have created our societal norms that tend to leave out anyone who isn't heterosexual," Young stated.
Overcoming The Challenges
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While 'bed death' challenges couples, solutions are within reach. By identifying and addressing the underlying causes, couples can rekindle the flame of intimacy and ensure a healthier, more fulfilling relationship.
"In the words of Esther Perel, another sexual professional in the field, 'love enjoys knowing everything about you; desire needs mystery.' I recommend keeping it in the front of your mind, prioritizing, and keeping it interesting. Be open to learning more about your own sexuality every day, as well as your partner. You are always growing; what worked for you 20 years ago may not be the same today. Stay curious with one another and be open to exploring new ways to pleasure. You deserve it," Young said.
For instance, Young advised that couples should "keep sexual encounters light and playful." And not be afraid to introduce new elements, such as toys.
"Touch often in ways that are consensual and feel safe! I made 'Show Me Your Cards' to serve this purpose specifically. Just because you do not feel in the mood to go all the way does not mean you aren't in the mood to hold hands, exchange body massages, or dance together. Connecting often in any physical form, as long as it feels pleasurable, still counts as 'being in the mood,'" she said.
Overcoming the hurdles of "bed death" and debunking myths surrounding 'lesbian bed death' offers a unique perspective for couples grappling with the difficulties of sustaining a connection. Learning the proper ways to work through a sexless relationship can help foster a healthier, more fulfilling relationship.
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