Quantcast
5 Things You Should Ask Yourself Before Having Sex with A Friend
What About Your Friends?

5 Things You Should Ask Yourself Before Having Sex with A Friend


You know what they say—you tend to see things a heck of a lot clearer when you look at them in hindsight. After experiencing almost 12 years of abstinence (which I'll get into at another time—I promise), one thing that I recognize is I had a pattern of sleeping with my guy friends.

Back in my gettin-it-in days, I wasn't the kind of girl who met a guy in a club and went home with them. I also didn't get down with one-night stands. In fact, 90 percent of guys I've slept with, I've known for several years (the others, no less than a year). After time spent hanging out had passed, I would build a friendship with them. Since oftentimes there was a chemistry and attraction, I would tell myself that sex with them wasn't that much of a risk. I knew them, so it was emotionally safe. Or so I thought.

But here's the problem. Out of my 14 friends/sex partners, ask me how many I'm friends with now. Hmph. When it comes to several of those past friendships, it's really a shame that we're not friends because, ironically, they weren't homie-lover-friends; they were literally my boys.

For better or for worse, whether we choose to acknowledge it or not, sex changes things. Oftentimes, in ways we would never predict or imagine. That's something I had to learn the hard way.

So, before you decide to sleep with one of your own homeboys (either for the first time or again), please take a moment to consider the following five things first. Because trust me, when it comes to having sex with a friend, it's really hard to undo what's already been done.

Why Do You Want to Do It?

Aside from being attracted to him, trusting him, and possibly being curious, what are your other reasons for wanting to "go there" with a guy friend? Sure, those initial three things may seem like enough of a motivator but looks can fade, trust can be broken, and curiosity has killed many cats (literally and metaphorically).

If you don't have a reason better than "I just wanna know what it's like," take a pass. While fantasizing about doing it may omit any consequences, once reality sets in and the deed is done, there's a good chance that one of you is going to be more into it than the other. And when that happens, things that used to not matter so much suddenly will. Things like, if you're both seeing other people, who your other sex partners are, and—what platonic friends rarely ask each other—where are things going.

Related Stories

5 Things Men Say That You Should Take At Face Value (98.9 Percent Of The Time) - Read More

The Problem With Allowing Your Friends To Be Your Side Chicks - Read More

I Have A Perfect Response To "What Do You Bring To The Table?" - Read More

Featured image by Giphy

TRENDING
ALSO ON XONECOLE
Smile, Sis! These Five Improvements Can Upgrade Your Oral Hygiene Instantly

This article is in partnership with Sensodyne.

Our teeth are connected to so many things - our nutrition, our confidence, and our overall mood. We often take for granted how important healthy teeth are, until issues like tooth sensitivity or gum recession come to remind us. Like most things related to our bodies, prevention is the best medicine. Here are five things you can do immediately to improve your oral hygiene, prevent tooth sensitivity, and avoid dental issues down the road.

KEEP READINGShow less
What Exactly Is The 'Raw Till 4' Diet?

There are moments on our health journey when our bodies are bugging us to hit the reset button.

With life, we can start to see slips in our diet, irregular exercising, and inconsistent sleep schedules, and our mental health can suffer because of it. But what many people come to find is that with just a few adjustments — as opposed to restrictions — being made to their food intake, we can see a focus more on eating “the right” calories and less on being on a restrictive diet.

KEEP READINGShow less
LATEST POSTS