
Jordyn Woods And Karl-Anthony Towns: A Look At Their Four-Year Relationship

Jordyn Woods and Karl Anthony Towns' relationship is a living testament to the age-old phrase that true love conquers all. The model and NBA star, who have been together for over four years, have captivated the public and fans alike with their social media posts, lavish lifestyle, and transparency regarding their personal lives.
Throughout their romance, Woods and Towns have showcased a deep appreciation for one another through their unwavering support during their triumphs and tribulations.
These include the star launching her clothing brand WOODS by Jordyn in 2023, the Minnesota Timberwolves center, and his team's elimination from the 2024 Western Conference Finals. This comes after the Minnesota Timberwolves' historic advance to the finals for the first time in over twenty years.
In tribute to Woods and Towns' resilient partnership, xoNecole looks back at their love story.
2020: Woods and Towns Began Dating
The couple started dating in May 2020, years after they met through a mutual friend. Woods and Towns' relationship didn't initially start romantically.
Although the exact timeline of when the pair initially met is unclear, Towns shared in 2021 during Woods' Instagram series Regular-ishthat they were friends for a while before it blossomed into something more.
"Me and Jordyn met years ago, knowing common people, and just became friends. And ever since then, our relationship grew where we became more than friends," he said, "I'm not saying in that way, but just best friends. And then we started having a deeper relationship."
Towns added that the challenges they encountered during the global pandemic made the duo evaluate their platonic relationship before taking the next step. In 2020, the basketball player lost eight family members, including his mother, Jacqueline Towns, to COVID-19.
"It just so happened, the COVID came and kind of brought its challenges, and it kind of forced us to either pick where our relationship was going to go as friends or something more. And we chose the latter," he stated.
Woods and Towns’ Relationship Become Instagram Official
In September 2020, a few months into their budding romance, the couple became Instagram official after sharing photos on their respective accounts as they celebrated Woods' 23rd birthday in Mexico.
Woods' post featured the pair posing on the beach in matching Versace swimsuits. In addition to the upload, Woods penned a sentimental caption.
"I found you, then I found me," she wrote. Towns followed suit by posting similar photos and expressing how Woods has positively impacted his life. "There are darknesses in life and there are lights," he said. "You are one of the lights, the light of all lights."
That same month, during an interview with Extra TV, Woods opened up about her relationship with Towns and how the pair bonded over their similarities in life, including losing their parents at a young age.
The entrepreneur’s father, John Woods, passed away in 2017 following a brief battle with cancer.
"I just think that when you find the right one, you can really learn a lot more about yourself. It's about learning to evolve with someone," she said. "The right person will bring a lot out of you. I think that we have been friends for a long time, and naturally, we really connected over the both of us losing a parent at a very young age, so it was a very organic relationship."
2021: Woods Extends Her Support To Towns Following His COVID-19 Diagnosis
In January 2021, Towns revealed on his social media platforms that he had tested positive for COVID-19 and planned to follow every protocol as he attempted to regain his health. In the upload, the NBA star explained how this diagnosis had affected his immediate family after losing loved ones to the virus.
"It breaks my heart that my family, and particularly my father and sister, continue to suffer from the anxiety that comes along with this diagnosis as we know all too well what the end result could be," he wrote. "To my niece and nephew, Jolani and Max, I promise you I will not end up in a box next to grandma, and I will beat this."
Immediately after his posts, Woods took to her respective Twitter account to support Towns.
"Praying for you babe. I know you're going to pull through. God's got you and your most powerful guardian Angel up there," she said while referring to Towns' mother.
Towns Praises Woods For Holding Him Down
Following his recovery from COVID-19, Towns took to his Instagram story to shout out Woods for her love and guidance as he overcame various hardships.
"My woman has held me down more than the world knows. From my mother and family members dying (1 on her bday in Cabo), getting hit by a drunk driver (was 2pm in the afternoon FYI) in LA this Off-Season and staying with me in the hospital for the night and helping me in rehab, to this stint with COVID she has been there with me every step of the way and stayed ten toes down," he wrote.
The Minnesota Timberwolves forward added that his love for Woods had deepened as she had seen him through those moments. "My love for her knows no bounds and I would be remiss if I don't acknowledge the power a good woman can have in your life," he stated. "Men, treat your woman like a Queen so she can treat you like a King."
Woods and Towns Shut Down Cheating Allegations
In March 2021, Towns was accused of cheating on Woods with an unidentified woman after screenshots of an alleged conversation between the NBA star and the individual began to circulate online.
Woods immediately cleared up the rumors on Twitter by informing fans not to believe everything they read online.
"So crazy how someone can make fake screenshots and send it to blogs and y'all believe it my relationship is more than solid and I put that on everything," she wrote. Towns weighed in on the allegations on his Twitter account by denying any wrongdoing.
"So I got the baddest girl in the game and you think I'm gonna waste my energy with anyone else gtfoh," he said. "Same haters we got now are gonna be the same ones we have when I put that ring on her finger."
Woods and Towns Celebrate Their First Year Anniversary
In May 2021, Woods and Towns commemorated their first year anniversary in Saint Lucia.
Woods shared a series of photos from their vacation that displayed the decorations that were plastered around their hotel room and the gift she received for the special occasion, a Hermès Birkin bag.
Towns Defends Woods From Body Shamers
Later that year, Towns stood ten toes down for Woods when she faced backlash online after posting a before-and-after weight loss photo to promote her fitness app.
As speculators claimed that the star's slim figure was due to cosmetic procedures and not diet and exercise, Towns fired back on Twitter in a series of posts denying the plastic surgery accusations.
"I've SEEN the hard work and I've seen the results and trust me, this is all natural. Since she was 10 years old, people been calling this woman vile things because of her weight and instead of letting the Internet run her life, she went out the put the damn work in and changed her whole life. FITNESS SAVED HER LIFE!" he said.
The basketball player also professed his admiration for Woods' willingness to rise above the hate she receives on social media. "I love you babe,” he added. “Every day you make me so proud to call you my Girl, my Queen, my Rock, my everything."
Towns Opens Up About How Woods Helped Him Deal With The Loss Of His Mother
In an appearance on Taraji P. Henson and Tracie Jade's Facebook Watch talk show Peace of Mind with Taraji in October 2021, Towns explained that he felt his late mother, Jacqueline Towns, had a hand in his relationship with Woods because it began shortly after her passing.
"A woman that meant so much to me in my life left my life to be replaced by another woman who took that spot," he said. “I feel, in a way, when my mom passed, she's like, 'I'm not going to leave you alone. I'm going to make sure you know who you are supposed to be with.'"
Further into the conversation, the basketball player disclosed that he leaned on Woods for support during that trying moment in his life because she experienced a similar hardship.
"You know she lost her father four years ago, I believe, he added. “So I leaned on her because she's one of those only people who actually knew how I was feeling and what I was going through."
2022: Woods Denies Pregnancy Rumors
In January 2022, Woods and Towns found themselves in the rumor mill once again. This time, social media users were alleging that the couple could be expecting their first child after Woods uploaded a miniature Nike shoe box photo. After receiving numerous comments regarding her pregnancy status, the model shut down the allegations on her Instagram story.
"It was a gift card box. And no I don't want kids right now nor am I pregnant," she said. "I've been wearing baggy clothes because it's cold AF!!!"
Woods Cheers Towns On After Timberwolves Wins Game On A Significant Day
A few months later, in April 2022, Woods celebrated Towns' and his Minnesota Timberwolves teammates' victory against the Los Angeles Clippers by sharing an Instagram post. In addition to the upload, the star highlighted the importance of the date they won.
"This moment was so special to us because today is the 2 year anniversary of Jackie passing,” she said. “I know how tough it's been doing all of this without her so proud of you @karltowns … it's deeper than basketball!!"
Woods And Towns Celebrate Two-Year Anniversary
The following month, Towns surprised Woods with a getaway trip to Mexico in honor of their anniversary.
In an Instagram post, the model shared that the NBA star took her to the same resort where President John F. Kennedy and his wife, Jackie Kennedy, spent their honeymoon.
Woods’ upload also showcased the many activities the couple participated in, including a dinner on the beach, couples massage, and lavish gifts.
Towns Finances Woods Businesses For Her 25th Birthday
In September of that same year, on her 25th birthday, Woods revealed on her Instagram story that Towns had funded two of her prospective businesses by sharing a heartfelt note he wrote.
The note read, "To My Birthday Girl, Happy 25th Birthday! After this, you get to say you 18 every year like your moms lol … I know every year I have showered you with material gifts that people wish they could to (King S—) but this year, your 25th year walking this earth, it's time to go from that girl to a full woman. You pick two businesses you want to start, and I will fund them. It's time to take that next step in this thing we call life. Te Amo Mucho, let's take over the world…together. Love, KAT."
Alongside the photo, Woods shared in a caption why this gift was extremely sentimental to her. "He knows how hard I have been working on these projects, and this is the last step," she wrote. Although it has yet to be confirmed if the funds were used, Woods' clothing line was one of the businesses she opened shortly after.
2023: Woods Shares The Key To Her Successful Union With Towns
In late 2023, Woods disclosed during an interview with PEOPLE magazine that her relationship with Towns was a success because they were genuinely friends first.
"Friendship and trust,” she said. “We were really good friends before we started dating, and COVID gave us that free time to really get to know each other."
Woods added that their union grew stronger over the years because they have overcome so much together. "We've been through a lot together,” she stated. “We've seen each other at all different ways, times, phases, so I think we have a very strong foundation.”
February 2024: Towns Raves Over Woods
During the 2024 NBA All-Star Weekend, Towns gushed about Woods during his conversation withPEOPLE magazine and explained the importance of having a good partner.
"She is truly special to me. You know, with my mom and my sister, I’ve seen the impact that good women have on men’s lives,” he said. “I'm just blessed that I saw that firsthand before I got with Jordyn so that I could learn to appreciate her."
May 2024: Woods Celebrates Towns After Timberwolves NBA Playoffs Victory
The Minnesota Timberwolves made history in May 2024 when they progressed to the Western Conference Finals after defeating the Denver Nuggets in a seven-series game.
This event was monumental because this was the team's first time going to the finals in twenty years. Woods basked in the moment by praising Towns on Instagram for his resilience.
"Couldn’t be happier for this team and most importantly Karl," she wrote "He has overcome so much adversity to get to the point in his career, let alone knee surgery earlier this season. I am so proud and in awe of him."
On May 21, Woods and Towns celebrated four years together. In honor of the special day Woods uploaded a video collage of their adventures over the years with a song she wrote.
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Your May 2025 Monthly Horoscopes Are All About Blooming Softly & Trusting Divine Timing
May is about being patient, nurturing your dreams, and creating beauty in your world. This is a more stable and generous month than the chaos that April brought, and we get an opportunity for closure, healing, and rejuvenation this month. We are still amid some important retrograde transits, but these are ones we can navigate better by grounding our energy in the present moment, and not allowing ourselves to stress over the what-ifs.
With the Sun in Taurus for most of the month, May reminds us that there is beauty in finding your peace and not allowing anyone to disrupt that.
Pluto goes retrograde in Aquarius from May 4 until October 13, and this will be a time of remembering your power when it comes to your purpose, innovations, and the ability to attract support into your life. Mercury moves into Taurus on May 10, making this a good time for negotiations, creating new plans financially, and sticking to your word on something that holds value to you. The Full Moon of the month occurs in Scorpio on May 12, and this is the Flower Moon of the year, signifying growth and seeing the beauty in your life.
This Full Moon is all about letting go of what doesn’t feel authentic or resonate with you emotionally, and about experiencing more closure and healing within relationship matters.
Your May 2025: A Monthly Overview
Gemini Season officially begins on May 20, and we enter air sign energy, which is good for communication, business, and coming up with inspiring and new ideas. On May 24, Saturn enters Aries, beginning its new transit where it will remain for the next few years. Saturn in Aries is bold, direct, and straightforward, but so are its lessons. There is a gift in resilience and finding your strength during this time, and this transit will show you where your power is, but it may challenge you to confront self-limiting behavior in the process.
Mercury enters Gemini on May 25, and Mercury loves being here. Mercury in Gemini is the creative genius, and this is a month of aligning yourself with this energy. On May 26, we have a New Moon in Gemini, and it’s time to set your intentions for where you want a communication breakthrough in your life, and what new ideas you want to start planting the seeds for. This is a good New Moon for networking, exchanging ideas, having more fun, and getting inspired.
Article continues after the jump.
May 2025 Horoscopes for Every Zodiac Sign
Keep reading for your sun, moon, and rising sign below to see what May has in store for you.
ARIES
The impact from April is finally behind you, and you get to move forward this month, Aries. After a month of retrogrades and Eclipses, you are starting to see the progress of what you have been working towards financially this year. The Sun is in your 2nd house of abundance, self-confidence, and values this month, and you are putting your dreams here first.
With Venus also in Aries for the entire month of May, you are feeling the support within and without this month, and this is a beautiful month unfolding.
On May 24, Saturn enters your sign, beginning its transit in Aries, which will last for the next few years. Saturn is the master of tough love, and you are going to be learning a lot about yourself during his time and going through a growth spurt. The New Moon of May is at the end of the month on May 26 and will be giving you the answers and clarity you have been looking for, highlighting open communication in your life. Overall, this is your month of fewer obstacles and more progress.
TAURUS
Taurus Season is officially underway, and you are the main character right now, Taurus. Remember that. This month is about trusting your intuition and the timing of things, and knowing that things are working in your favor. With Venus, your ruling planet, in your 12th house for the month, you are seeking a lot of closure and culmination right now and are healing what was. Mercury enters your sign from May 10 until May 25, and it’s all about the perspectives you are gaining right now.
Don’t be afraid to ask the important questions and get down to the bottom of things that have been worrying you. On May 12, there is a Full Moon in your 7th house of partnership, and you are closing the door on what has not been working for you in love. You are seeing the clarity of what you need within your emotional world and how you want to navigate the changes you have been through here now.
GEMINI
May is a new beginning for you, Gemini. You have a lot of energy and vitality with you this month, and you are ready to accomplish some personal goals and intentions of yours. For most of the month, the Sun is in your house of closure and healing, and you are finding yourself rejuvenated from the transformations you have been through. Gemini Season officially begins on May 20, and with the Sun in your sign, nothing is holding you back from shining and living in your truth right now.
On May 25, Mercury enters Gemini until June 8, and Mercury loves being in your sign, as this is your planetary ruler.
Mercury in Gemini is forward-thinking, quick, and intelligent. You are coming up with solutions to previous challenges or obstacles, and overcoming something that has felt restrictive mentally. Before the month ends, there is a New Moon in Gemini on May 26, and this New Moon is one of the best times of the year for you to set your intentions and manifest your dreams. Remember you are worthy of what you are setting out to accomplish this month, Gemini.
CANCER
Cancer, this month requires you to slow down, take care of your health, and allow things to come to fruition the way they are meant to. There is a chance you could be overthinking more than usual this month, and you are being reminded that there is only so much that is in your control, and to give yourself some more grace. The Full Moon in Scorpio on May 12 will help you gain a little more clarity of the heart and is going to be a time of feeling the love and appreciation in your life.
Saturn enters your 10th house of career on May 24, remaining here over the next few years, and you are getting an opportunity to grow and discover where you may have been limiting yourself professionally, socially, or within your aspirations in life. This time is all about reminding yourself that you deserve recognition for the work you do, but that you must also be the one believing in yourself as well. On May 12, there is a New Moon in your house of emotional healing, and you are seeing the gifts of alone time, safe spaces, and tending to your creative inklings at the end of the month.
LEO
This month is an opportunity for a new beginning in love and progress within your emotional world, Leo. You are learning to trust your intuition more, and you are putting more of your energy into your heart’s desires. With the Sun in your 10th house for most of the month, you are shining in your truth and remaining confident in your goals in life.
Venus is in your house of adventure for the entire month, and this is a good time for experiencing romance while traveling or getting out of your comfort zone a little.
Saturn makes a significant move from Pisces into Aries at the end of the month and enters your 9th house. With Saturn here, you will be learning more about what mental growth and clarity mean to you, and this is a good time to dedicate yourself to higher education, traveling, gaining a new perspective, and honoring your integrity and values. The New Moon of the month is on May 26, creating magic within your friendships and community.
You are leaving this month with hope in your heart and new plans for the future.
VIRGO
May is a month of abundance and fruition for you, Virgo. Your dreams and intentions are coming to fruition, and you are owning that which you have created for yourself. With Venus in Aries, this is a good time for seeing support in your life financially, dedicating yourself to your commitments and responsibilities, and seeing the gifts in that. On May 12, there is a Full Moon in your 3rd house of communication, and this is an intuitive time for you, giving you the strength needed to close the chapter on what you don’t resonate with anymore.
On May 24, Saturn enters your house of shared finances, rebirth, intimacy, and resources, and over the next few years, you will be learning the importance of connecting with people who truly have your best interest at heart, and not committing to what feels unstable. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Gemini in your house of career, and this is a good time to manifest and set your intentions for where you want to see professional growth in your life.
Overall, May is about embracing your freedom while honoring the people and connections that help you grow and make you feel more secure in life.
LIBRA
This is a month of feeling empowered and ready to take on anything that comes your way, Libra. You are inspired by the progress you are making in your life right now, and with Venus in your 7th house of love, you are being well-received. This is a month of finding your balance between your path and the growth of your relationships, and there is a sense of support, harmony, and love in your life in May.
You are owning your authenticity and living in your truth fully, and this energy is magnetic.
However, Saturn also enters your 7th house of love this month, where it will remain for the next few years. Saturn empowers and helps you grow, but you can also feel a little more challenged within your relationships during this time. The more you can own your wants and needs, the more you can find vulnerability and support within your relationships. On May 26, a New Moon in a fellow air sign occurs and happens in your 9th house, creating a chance at a new adventure and an opportunity to discover some new inspiration.
SCORPIO
May is about believing in the impossible, Scorpio. It’s time to take a leap of faith in yourself and to remember your power. You are seeking a new beginning in your life, and with the Sun in your 7th house of love for most of the month, you are being supported and encouraged in the process. Pluto, one of your ruling planets, goes retrograde in your house of home and family from May 4 until October, and you are gaining clarity on the people and support systems you can rely on more.
The Full Moon of the month is in your sign on May 12, and this is the Flower Moon of the year. You are in full bloom and ready for whatever is next for you, and this is beautiful. Previous intentions and goals come to fruition for you overall in mid-May, and there is a lot to look forward to right now as you are getting excited about it all. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Gemini in your 8th house, creating a sense of empowerment through what you are looking to change and transform in your life right now.
This month is about not being afraid to take more risks and doing things your own way.
SAGITTARIUS
May is a beautiful month of magic, success, and good fortune, Sagittarius. You are feeling lucky this month and are attracting success to you in many different areas of your life. Venus, the planet of love, is in your 5th house of romance for most of the month, and you are enjoying your life, feeling the love within your heart, and expressing yourself freely in May. You are a magnet for your manifestations, and dreams are coming true for you this month, Sag.
On May 12, we have a Full Moon happening in your house of endings and closure, and you are closing out a big chapter in your life this month.
You are letting go of old pain or emotional experiences and choosing not to repeat a pattern that left you feeling hopeless before. On May 26, we have a New Moon in your sister sign, Gemini, enhancing your need for love, connection, and relationship development this month. This is a great New Moon to set your intentions for what partnerships you want to see grow, heal, and come to fruition for you. Overall, May is your month of fruition, balance, and believing in the magic in your life.
CAPRICORN
May is about slowing down and allowing yourself to find the answers you have been looking for, Capricorn. This isn’t the time to rush your progress or doubt where you are in life. The Sun is in your 5th house, and this is good for finding more time for fun, pleasure, self-care, and asking your heart what it needs. With Pluto going retrograde in your 2nd house of values and income, you are being reminded to hold yourself with integrity and to know that you are worthy of the things you are asking for.
The Full Moon on May 12 is a beautiful time to connect with loved ones or those who inspire you. The universe wants to show you that you are not alone this month and that you deserve to live a life where you can enjoy yourself more and manifest your dreams, rather than believing everything needs to be a challenge to be worthy. Saturn, your ruling planet, then enters your 4th house of home and family, and over the next few years, you are going to be rediscovering what home means to you.
AQUARIUS
Your guidance for May is to trust that what is falling from your life or changing for you is doing so for your benefit, Aquarius. Trust that what is happening is happening for you and not to you, and don’t doubt that you will rebuild from this. With Pluto going retrograde in your sign from May 4 until October 13, you need a break from some of the confusion you have been feeling in your personal life, and you are getting a chance to gain a new perspective this month.
Use this time to get inspired by change rather than let it bring you down, and ground yourself in the present moment more.
Saturn enters Aries in May, where it will remain for the next few years, helping you grow in the areas of your life that have to do with communication, networking, transportation, siblings, and education. You will be learning a lot during this time and will be finding new outlets for self-expression and communication. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Gemini occurring in your 5th house of romance, pleasure, hobbies, and entertainment, and after a month of navigating endings, changes, and closures, you are ready for a fresh start and are receiving one in love now.
PISCES
Allow what is to be, be, Pisces. May is a month of allowing yourself to trust the timing of the universe and not giving up hope that things are going to turn out beautifully for you. On May 12, there is a Full Moon in fellow water sign, Scorpio, and this is a time to get inspired and see the benefits of closure. This Full Moon is about gaining a new perspective and not doubting what is clearer to you now, that you are worthy of a new beginning.
On May 24, Saturn moves into your 2nd house of income, and you are going to be moving through a journey of developing financially, and working on maintaining stability while building new foundations in your life. The New Moon in Gemini at the end of the month is about setting your intentions for your home and family life and creating some new energy here. Overall, May is your month of breaking ground on the things you want to create for yourself and trusting the timing of how things are unfolding.
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How To Stop Worrying So Much About Your Life & Start Living It
There are people in my family who are worry addicts in denial. If they have a sore throat, they talk about the possibility of it being cancer. If they are short on cash for rent, they already see themselves out on the street. If their significant other doesn't pick up before the third ring, they've resigned that they are being cheated on. Ugh. These people are extremely exhausting to be around, so I can only imagine what it's like to actually be them. Oh, wait. I've got a clue.
It's listed right there in the definition of worry—"to torment oneself with or suffer from disturbing thoughts; fret." Did you catch it? When you make the choice to worry—because it is always a decision; it's not something that "just happens"—you have chosen to torment yourself. What in the world?
If, despite what the dictionary says, you don't believe that "to worry" is an ultimate form of self-torment, check out some points from WebMD's "How Worrying Affects the Body" article. Worrying has a way of affecting your appetite, your sleep patterns, your moods, and your relationships. Some physical results of worrying include headaches, nausea, muscle tension, the inability to concentrate, and bouts of anxiety. In a nutshell, worrying can make you feel like crap, stress out the people around you, and ultimately paralyze you with doubt, fear, and angst.
And here's the thing—once you're done worrying, not only is the thing that you're worrying about still lingering around, but your worrying has probably made it that much worse. Basically, worrying does what the late newspaper columnist Emma Bombeck once said—"Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but never gets you anywhere."
Another thing that I've concluded about worry is a lot of people who do it are in denial about something else that it reveals, that they are a control freak. Think about it. When it comes to most of the things that we worry about, aren't they usually connected to things that we want to control, but are totally out of our hands?
Y'all, the more that I unpack this worry thing, the more I know that if there's one habit that all of us must rid ourselves of, it's worry. And chile, there's no time like the present to do just that!
Stop Creating So Many Hypothetical Storylines
I always think it's funny that, when topics like "drama queen" come up, automatically some folks get triggered. It really shouldn't bother any of us to hear the rundown of what a drama queen is (or does) unless it's a bit of a "hit dog will holler" kind of thing. Even then, if you see yourself as being one, there's no time like the present to make a change—if you want to, that is.
Anyway, although the typical definitions of a drama queen include things like mood swings, constant complaining, throwing temper tantrums, being a constant attention-seeker, and always stirring up trouble, I personally think that a totally underrated sign is someone who is always making mountains out of molehills. You know the kind—their man calls to say, "We need to talk" and, before he can call back, they've already decided that not only has he cheated, but he probably has a baby on the other side of town. Or, there's an impromptu staff meeting at work, and they walk into it in tears because they can already imagine themselves living in a cardboard box.
Your day-to-day life already comes with enough plots, twists, and characters. Significantly reduce your chances of becoming a worry wart by refusing to feed off of hypothetical storylines that your imagination is trying to freak you out with.
Do the Best That You Can. Consistently So.
Something that is mad freeing is knowing that, at the end of the day, you did the absolute best that you could. Not in some categories of your life—every single one of them. I can personally attest to this because, when I know that I've let the ball drop on something, it is a whole lot easier to get nervous, anxious, or worried than if I did all that I could. An example of this is a time when my rent got lost in the mail.
My landlord was telling me that if it wasn't found, I'd have to pay it again. Whatever. I had proof of payment. It was gonna be what it was gonna be. But back in the day, when I was an impulse shopper and writing checks all over the place, sometimes rent time would roll around and I'd be freaking out because I didn't know if I truly had enough in my account or not.
See the difference? When you know that you've done what is within your control, what else can you really do? It's when you have to face that you've been back-steppin' that worry is able to creep in. The good thing about this particular point is that it's a reminder that a lot of what we worry about ceases to be an issue if we simply operate in excellence and leave the rest to the Universe to figure out. (The check showed up, by the way. In case you were wondering.)
Avoid the Need to Get a Dozen Different Opinions
This is a gem of a point because, if you're someone who has wired yourself to have to speak with a billion people before making a decision, not only does that mean you don't trust yourself as much as you should, but it also explains why you may be prone to worrying a lot more than what is needed. Case in point. I recently found out that one of my main writing gigs was dissolving its company. When I shared this news with someone, they began to panic, seemingly on my behalf. "What are you going to do about your bills?", "Do you think it's time to get a full-time job?", "How can you handle this type of uncertainty?" Goodness, girl. I was actually doing just fine before I brought you into the mix. Lord.
When you're going through a challenge or trial, it's natural and, to a certain degree, even wise, to get another person's insight. Just make sure that you source out the kind of individual who will bring the kind of perspective that will make matters better, not worse; someone who will help to make things clearer, not more confusing. Oh, and try and keep the number of individuals that you consult with down to a minimum.
The more voices you hear, the harder it will be to listen to your own. And, the easier it will be to find more stuff to worry about—thanks (but no thanks) to all of the "extra" that they will bring into your psyche.
Stay Away from Negative Energy and People
On this site, we tend to talk about toxicity quite a bit—toxic family, toxic friends, toxic significant others…you name it. Well, a surefire sign that someone is a toxic individual is if they are negative most of the time. Negative people are the ones who always think that things are too good to be true.
Not only that but they blow small things totally out of proportion; they dwell on the bad circumstances in life; they thrive off of gossip; they tend to be self-deprecating; fear is always consuming them; they are stagnant because they rarely take risks; their moods are always leaning on the side of pessimism; they don't know how to forgive themselves or other people; they are chronic complainers; they dwell on the past—geeze. I could go on and on, but I don't want you to let the negative energy of even exploring all of this bring you down.
The interesting thing about worry, as it directly relates to negative people, is that negativity is what fuels them. And, fascinatingly enough, a lot of negative folks remain on the "glass half empty" side of life because negativity makes them, well, lazy. They would rather just assume that nothing is going to go right than worry about it or try and make things better.
This means that negative people will not only feed seeds of worry and doubt, but if you stick around them long enough, you can transition from worrying to not caring about what once concerned you at all. And rarely is apathy ever beneficial or good. There is scientific evidence to support that negativity is not only really bad for your health, it's mad contagious too. If you want to quit worrying so much, but you're always around negative energy and people, yeah, good luck with that.
It's pretty much like trying to avoid the flu when you share a bed with someone who's got it. It's not impossible but at the same time, it's pretty probable that you'll come down with it. Eventually.
Think of the Worst Case Scenario. Then Let It Go.
No matter what you're going through in life, there is always going to be a worst-case scenario. But, as they say, 85 percent of what we worry about actually never happens. Still, I think a part of the reason why worrying wears a lot of us out is because we're expending so much time, effort, and energy trying to talk ourselves out of the worst-case scenario rather than considering and then letting it go. A good example of this that comes to mind is when I was a little girl, I actually missed a flight that ended up going down. As a child, I never gave it much thought. Oh, but as an adult, I have. I travel, but flying isn't my absolute favorite thing in the world to do. It's because I know that I could've crashed on one.
One time, while on the way to Alaska, one of the little planes that I was on felt like a piece of paper in a tornado. I hated every moment of it. But the man next to me looked at me and said, "If it's your time, it's your time. What can you do about it now? Calm down." Ever since then, I've applied that way of thinking to just about every issue that tempts me to worry. I think about the worst thing that could happen, I make peace with it, and then I let the thought go.
It might seem weird, but once I'm in the head space of "Whatever it is, I can face it because God's got me," there is a sense of calm and tranquility that makes me almost fearless. Hey, don't knock it until you've tried it.
Take Things One Day At a Time
Remember how I said earlier that most worriers have issues with control? I meant it. Think about the last thing you worried about. Did it have something to do with what was going on in the now or something that could possibly happen tomorrow, next week, or even six months later? There is a Scripture in the Bible that says, "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." (Matthew 6:34—NKJV) No matter what your personal spiritual beliefs may be, you've gotta admit that this is a real pearl of wisdom in these words.
One problem with worry is that it causes you to take the focus off of what is right in front of you. Instead, you tend to put your energy and emotions into something that may or may not happen in the future. As a result, it robs you of time and the ability to handle what's before you with excellence. Matthew 6:34 is right. Tomorrow will be here soon enough, and you can best believe that it will come with its own set of concerns. But since tomorrow isn't promised, why not concentrate on what you can be sure of? Right here and right now.
Quit Overwhelming Yourself
There's someone I know who's always telling multiple people all of their business. Then, once their business gets out, they're all stressed out because they don't know who leaked it. SMDH. This is what feeling overwhelmed can be like—you feel somewhat burned out, if not completely overcome, all because you've taken on so many things that you don't really know how to trace your own steps so that you can complete everything. And when you've got tons that need to be done, of course, it's going to cause you to worry.
I know a lot of us ladies think that we're the masters of multitasking, but there is plenty of research that proves otherwise. While we might do "okay" with trying to do five things at once, we'd be much better off doing one thing at a time. It will keep our stress levels down, so that we can concentrate on doing each task with excellence. And, as a wonderful bonus, we can learn the art of saying "no" more often.
Doing one thing at a time is just one more way to stop worrying as much as you probably do.
RELAX
No one is able to relax when they are worried all of the time. How do I know this to be true? Because some antonyms for worry include calm, trust, sureness, confidence, reassurance, contentment, and joy. In this world, we all are going to experience highs and lows. That's a part of life. But as the late Rep. Elijah Cummings once said that he always asked his children, it's important that when "the lows" come that we ask, not why is this happening to us, but why is it happening for us?
By taking on the second approach to our circumstances, we can settle our spirits down more. Then, by doing something along the lines of meditation, yoga, prayer, sleeping, or even just chilling out on the couch and watching something that will get our minds off of what's trying to stress us out, we'll be better equipped to take it on.
Worry hates it when we're relaxed because it knows that it can't really get to us whenever we do. Bottom line—do what you can, release the rest. In a nutshell, that's the key to training yourself to stop worrying so freakin' much.
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Originally published on November 9, 2019