January is all about maintaining a positive vision for the future and finding your balance amid change. A lot is going on this month, yet everything that is occurring is bringing things back home. Life is moving at its own pace this month, and the more you can trust the timing of life and where things are moving, the more you can gain. The month begins in the midst of Capricorn Season, with Mercury and Mars both in retrograde. Plans may not fall through exactly how they were planned for the time being, yet everything is happening exactly how it needs to. With both these planets being in retrograde for half of the month, schedules, plans, and communication channels should be looked over thoroughly, and patience is needed.
Venus enters Aquarius on January 2nd, and love is to the community and the collective while Venus is in Aquarius. Relationships take on a lighter tone while Venus is in Aquarius, and this releases some of the pressure that’s been felt while Venus was in Capricorn over the past month. Venus now being in an air sign for most of the month makes communication key regarding relationship development, and it’s about listening to your heart just as much as you are listening to what’s being said. The Full Moon of the month occurs less than a week after, on January 6th, and this Full Moon will be happening in Cancer. Emotions run high, and a chapter closes in life to bring you closer to the soul. This Full Moon is all about letting go of old baggage and healing the heart.
On January 12th, Mars officially goes direct after being retrograde in Gemini since October 30, 2022. Mars retrograde created chaos and switched things up in spaces that were once stable. Mars retrograde's duty was to shake things up and create a new direction forward that better aligns with what you are inspired by. Now that Mars is officially direct, you can take more action on your creative vision and dreams, and there are fewer road bumps on your path to success. Mercury also goes direct in Capricorn soon after on January 18th; and travel delays, miscommunication, and stability challenges all ease up during this time. Mercury direct in Capricorn makes concrete steps easier to take, and manifestation potential is increased during this time. Dream the dream, and take intentional action on them to see success.
Aquarius Season begins as the month ends on January 20th, and there is a New Moon in Aquarius as well as on the next day. Aquarius Season is a time when inspiration abounds, and a time to find your balance between logic and magic. Dreams come true during Aquarius Season, and this Aquarius New Moon is a good time to set your intentions and plan for the future. Uranus goes direct in Taurus on January 22nd after being in retrograde since August 2022, and there are fewer interruptions and disruptions when it comes to rest, feeling grounded, and following your heart.
With so many planets moving direct this month after being in retrograde, there is a huge weight lifted off the shoulders, and plans can come together again. January overall is all about perspective, patience, and growth.
What's in Store for Aries in January 2023
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecole2023 is a powerful year for Aries and the year begins with you taking the time to rest, prepare, and re-energize before moving further into the year. This month is all about listening to your body, your emotions, and your gut instincts, and about not being afraid to go at your own pace even if those around you are going at a different one. This is your month to let a new cycle of your life appear for you, while you move through your current journey with ease.
The New Moon this month is when you will be feeling a lot of that magic that the year has in store for you. On January 21st there is a New Moon in your 11th house of hopes, dreams, and friendship, and this is an excellent time of the month to start visualizing your future and everything you want to happen over the next year. With Venus also moving into your 12th house on January 26th, it’s about finding your balance between what’s falling away and what is coming this month.
What’s in Store for Taurus in January 2023
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleLove is flowing into your life in January, Taurus. This is a month of emotional expression and connection, about finding a good middle ground you haven’t felt in a while. This is a month of letting your heart lead the way and discovering that vulnerability isn’t a weakness, it is a strength to commend yourself on. This month you are finding your way by listening to your heart.
Communication is vital this month with a Full Moon occurring in your 3rd house on January 6th. This Full Moon is bringing in culminations in your life regarding mental healing, growth, and clarity. Important messages are coming through for you at the beginning of the month, and the more you can express how you are feeling, the better. A very important transit occurs before the month ends, and that is Uranus officially going direct in Taurus, after being retrograde since August 2022. What you can expect now are less chaos and disruption, and more intentional change and positive surprises.
What’s in Store for Gemini in January 2023
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleJanuary is all about the direction in life you are heading in right now, Gemini. The month begins amid Mercury retrograde, and Mercury retros are always a little closer to home for you with Mercury being your ruling planet. This Mercury retrograde is a little more impactful, however, as Mars is currently retrograde in Gemini as well. With the energy of reflection flowing through your world this month, there is a need to consider all options and really define what you want to create in your life.
On January 12th, Mars in Gemini goes direct after being retrograde since October 2022 and Mercury goes direct on January 18th. This is a major win for Geminis, as the pressure is lifted off your shoulders. Mars retrograde made the plan ahead feel more confusing than you wanted it to be, and the lack of energy this transit brought was difficult to move through. Now that you are in direct motion, you are ready for some dreams to come to fruition, and your mind is looking ahead with hope and strength.
What’s in Store for Cancer in January 2023
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleJanuary is all about maintaining a clear vision, and about putting your manifestation gifts to use, Cancer. This is a month of everything coming together one by one, and about you feeling confident about what is unfolding for you this month. You have your eyes on the prize, and you are headed in the right direction right now. January is here to show you that anything is possible with the right mindset, heart, and belief in yourself.
The Full Moon this month is happening on January 6th, and it is occurring in your sign. A Cancer Full Moon is always more emotional than most, and this is the time of the month to let go of any emotional baggage you have been carrying and allow healing to take place. This Full Moon is closing out one chapter, and you are preparing and lining everything up for a new one. January is a month of moving forward, moving on, and taking your dreams seriously, Cancer.
What’s in Store for Leo in January 2023
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleAbundance is yours to claim this month, Leo. January is a month of good fortune, love, and a time of paving a new path forward for yourself. You have a lot of opportunities for success this month, and blessings are falling into your lap. The seeds and intentions you have been planting in your life are blooming as the new year begins, and you are soaking in all the magic that surrounds you.
The financial abundance you are seeing this month is only one part of the story, as love and your relationships are also seeing positive growth in January. With the Sun moving into your opposite sign Aquarius on January 20th, and a New Moon here the next day, you are seeing new beginnings in love as the month ends. You are turning the page from a time of feeling like you have to do everything yourself and you can’t rely on others, into a time where you are feeling that support, connection, and emotional stability in your life.
What’s in Store for Virgo in January 2023
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleJanuary is your time to heal, Virgo. Your heart needs recovery time, and this month is your month to emotionally process, accept, and move into a new day. There is an energy with you this month of taking into account what has happened over the past few months and taking the time to release the heaviness and pain of the past. You are getting the opportunity to move into a new direction in January, however, leaving behind the old isn’t as easy as you thought it would be. Take as much time as you need this month, and allow what’s meant to be, be.
With your ruling planet Mercury, retrograde in your 5th house of romance, creativity, and happiness this month, there is a need to reflect on happiness and what that truly means to you. Do your vices serve you or do they harm you? Do the people around you reflect the love you feel or want to see in your life? Once Mercury goes direct on January 18th, you feel a breath of fresh air, and all the emotional heaviness you have been feeling begins to ease. January is overall a month of healing and growth for you, Virgo.
What’s in Store for Libra in January 2023
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleFortune is on your side this month, Libra. January is a month of positive change, blessings, and moving into a new beginning. The grace you have shown yourself and others through all of the changes you have been through is showing fruition this month, and you are receiving the benefits of this patience. January is all about remaining flexible and open to change and riding the wave of abundance and positivity.
Mars officially moves out of retrograde and goes direct this month, and this is good news for you when it comes to travel, adventure, education, and spiritual pursuits. Look out for opportunities for a vacation this month. The New Moon on January 21st is occurring in fellow air sign Aquarius, and this New Moon is bringing a new beginning for your heart. This New Moon is here to fulfill some dreams of happiness, love, and connection; and self-expression is key right now. Overall, January is about moving into a new chapter of your life with ease.
What’s in Store for Scorpio in January 2023
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleJanuary is a month of getting inspired, Scorpio. You are thinking a lot about the future this month and where you are headed right now, and your perspective is everything in January. The inspiration you are feeling this month is creating a new vision for your future, and you are ready to redefine what you want to put your energy into and focus on. The sky's the limit for you Scorpio, and this is a month of truly believing in yourself and taking those intentional steps toward your dreams and goals.
The Full Moon occurring in fellow water sign Cancer on January 6th brings things full circle when it comes to your beliefs, perspective, and spiritual journey. You are taking note of what adventures in life you’ve followed through on, and what spaces and people you would still like to connect with. Venus enters your 5th house of romance on January 26th before the month ends, and love is on your side moving into February. Your heart is in a good place this month, and there is a lot of excitement in the air for you in January.
What’s in Store for Sagittarius in January 2023
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleConnect with your inner strength, Sagittarius. Patience is everything this month, and your courage will help you maintain that. January is a time of letting things unfold without forcing the outcome. Hold your vision of what you want to see come to fruition, but don’t let changes to plans and circumstances out of your control waver your self-confidence. The more you can hold your ground and trust the process, the better this month will be.
January is a month of preparation for you, Sagittarius. This isn’t the most action-packed month for you and that is because you need time to gain strength, prepare, and envision what you want to see play out this year. The passion is there, but you need more time to figure out where you want to be and who you want to be there with. The New Moon occurring on January 21st is a time when you are getting the clarity you have been looking for, and connections are being made.
What’s in Store for Capricorn in January 2023
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleThe spotlight is on you this month, Capricorn. Capricorn Season is fully underway, and there is a lot to process this month. The month begins with Mercury in Retrograde in your sign, and there is a need to have more patience when it comes to your communications with others, and to try to find your middle ground here. Not everyone may agree or see your perspective, but it’s important to maintain an open mind and trust that what is for you will feel right. January is your time to shine and to allow space for others to shine in their way too.
The Full Moon in Cancer on January 6th is a good time to let go of any relationship drama or challenges you have been having and to make space for new growth. You are closing out one chapter of life and moving into one that feels closer to love and connection. Once Mercury goes direct on January 18th, any challenges you have been having with others begin to subside, and an olive branch is given. The goal this month is self-acceptance, love, and working on building the relationships in your life rather than challenging them.
What’s in Store for Aquarius in January 2023
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleYou are moving forward freely in January, Aquarius. January is a month of success, positive recognition, and achievement. You are moving into the new year full speed ahead, and you are ready to claim your victories. The support you have been looking for is coming into your life this month, and you have a lot to be grateful for in January. This is your month to put yourself out there, be confident, and lead the way forward for others. With Venus entering your sign on January 2nd as the month begins, you are moving into the month with love on your side.
More energy begins to move into Aquarius in the second half of the month as Aquarius Season begins on January 20th, and there is a New Moon in Aquarius the very next day on January 21st as well. With the Sun officially moving into Aquarius this month, the vision becomes clear, and the community around you is highlighted. The end of the month is a good time to connect with others, give help where needed, and work together with the people around you to create something beautiful.
What’s in Store for Pisces in January 2023
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecoleLife comes full circle, and blessings are falling into your lap, Pisces. January is a month of feeling like you have everything you need in your life, and like there is enough love to go around. You have an upper hand this month and it’s your faith in yourself and the universe that has got you here. You know that everything happens for a reason and what’s yours won’t pass you by, and you are feeling this knowing strongly this month.
January begins with a Full Moon in fellow water sign Cancer on January 6th, and this Full Moon is occurring in a zone that directly connects to the heart. Your heart is seeing clearly in January, and you like what you are seeing right now. Allow yourself to be loved the way you deserve to be, and trust that this love is here to stay. Before the month ends Venus enters Pisces, and relationship growth takes place. Venus in your sign makes everyone a little more emotional than usual, and you are leaving the month feeling seen, heard, and understood.
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Ding. Ding. DING.
A life coach by the name of Thomas Leonard once said that “Clarity affords focus” and, believe you me, when it comes to dealing with other human beings, if you don’t get clear on where you stand when it comes to your interactions with them, you can very easily find yourself “focusing too much” on those who don’t deserve it and too little on those who absolutely do. And y’all, this lil’ PSA couldn’t be more relevant than when it comes to what I call “casual friendships.”
Let’s dig — and for some of us, dig our way out of — what it means to have a casual friend, so that you can get clear on if you really need those in your life…and if so…why?
Article continues after the video.
It Can’t Be Said Enough: Always Remember What “Casual” Means
GiphyThere’s a reason why I decided to share two videos by mental health coach Isaiah Frizzle at the top and bottom of this article. It’s because a lot of what he shares in both of them complements a piece that I wrote for the platform last year entitled, “This Is Just What Purposeful Relationships Look Like.”
It’s the author M. Scott Peck who once said, “Until you value yourself, you won't value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it” and please believe that the older (and hopefully more mature) you get, the more you tend to see just how valuable — and fleeting — time is; and that is what plays a huge role in motivating you want to only involve yourself with people, places, things and ideas that will honor your time — and when something is casual? In my opinion, it’s highly debatable that it’s worth much of your months, days, hours, or even too many of your minutes.
The main reason why is addressed in an article that I wrote back in the day entitled, “We Should Really Rethink The Term 'Casual Sex.'” The gist? When it comes to relationships, “casual” is certainly not a favorite word of mine because I know what it means. Have mercy — why would you want to invest your time, energy, and emotions into something that is, by definition, apathetic, indifferent, careless, lacking emotional intimacy, and/or is without purpose?
I don’t know about y’all but that sounds like a complete and total crap shoot to me — especially if you are going to go so far as to consider this type of dynamic a true friendship (check out “Ever Wonder If A Friend Is Just...Not That Into You?,” “6 Signs You're About To Make A Huge Mistake In Making Them A Close Friend,” “5 Signs Of A Toxic Friendship That Is Secretly Poisoning Your Life,” “12 Friend Facts That Might Cause You To Rethink (Some Of) Your Own,” and “Less & Less Of Us Have Close Friends These Days. Why Is That?” ).
To me, when you decide to call someone “friend,” it means that they are loyal, reliable, consistent, trustworthy and willing to be there to support you to the very best of their ability — even if it’s inconvenient to do so sometimes (check out “Life Taught Me That True Friendships Are 'Inconvenient'”). How in the world can you expect that from something that has the word “casual” in it?
And you know what? That actually segues into my next point about casual friendships pretty darn well.
Ponder the Purpose “Casual Friends” Serve in Your Life
GiphyA couple of years ago, Verywell Mind published an article entitled, “How the 4 Types of Friendship Fit Into Your Life.” The four that it listed were acquaintances (which I actually don’t consider to be friends; check out “6 Differences Between A Close Acquaintance And An Actual Friend”), casual friends, close friends, and lifelong friends. After reading the piece, I think they consider casual friends to be the “pleasure” friends that I mentioned in the article, “According To Aristotle, We Need ‘Utility’, ‘Pleasure’ & ‘Good’ Friends.”
And although I certainly get that, I think my “cause for pause” is calling those people “friends” when they probably should be called something like an associate or possibly even a buddy instead. Why do I feel this way? Well, I’ve shared in other articles that I think social media has jacked up vocabulary words and their true meaning on a billion different levels.
Take “friend,” for example. Facebook had us out here calling everyone we connected to on their platform “friends” when some of them, we’ve never even spoken to before — and I personally think that influenced, affected and perhaps even infected our psyche to the point where we will call folks, both online and off, “friend” even when they haven’t earned it and/or who possibly don’t deserve it.
That said, do I think that we all could use lighthearted interactions that don’t go very deep and are filled with not much more than fun? Sure. However, if we were to move this over into a sexual thing — those types of people would probably be called a sneaky link, and there is nothing significant or substantial about ‘em. In fact, if anything pretty much automatically comes with an expiration date, sneaky links would have to be it.
And that’s kind of the point that I’m trying to make about a casual friend — so long as you know that the word “casual” is being used to describe them, while you may enjoy the people who fit that bill, they aren’t really anything that you can or even should fully rely on. Instead, take them for what they are and don’t really expect much more than that. Otherwise, you could be in for some profound levels of disappointment. And who wants that?
Final point.
How a Casual Friend Can Become a Huge Red Flag
GiphyI’m telling you, y’all gonna quit clowning Tubi. LOL. To me, the best way to describe it is it’s the Cricket of current streaming apps. What I mean by that is, back when Cricket (the cell phone service) first came out, people, like me, who used it service got incessantly clowned because it was seen as a bootleg provider. Now it’s owned by AT&T, and as someone who has rocked with them since I was in my 20s, I don’t have one regret for doing so. Cricket has always been good to me, chile.
And Tubi? Well, when you get a chance, check out CNBC’s article, “CEO at 33, Tubi’s Anjali Sud on success hacks she learned at Amazon, IAC on way to top of Fox streaming” — take note of the moves the streaming app is making and the quality of programming that is transpiring in real time.
Anyway, I find myself bringing up Tubi more and more in my content because it helps to amplify some of the points that I like to make. This time, it’s a movie that’s (currently) on there calledRight Man, Wrong Woman. If you haven’t seen it before, I don’t want to give too much of the film away. What I will say is that the main female character, she had a casual friend and then she had a close friend.
That casual friend—the one who liked to kick it all of the time—was a lot of fun; however, dealing with her came with a ton of semi-unforeseen consequences. Meanwhile, the close friend? She’s what the Aristotle article (that I mentioned earlier) would call the “good friend” because she tried her best to hold her friend accountable.
And really, it shouldn’t be a shock that the casual friend turned out to be a plum trip because if someone is loads of entertainment and pleasure and yet they are indifferent towards you, they make careless decisions around you and/or they don’t really make known the purpose for you being in their life other than to pass some time — where really do you and that person have to go past drinks after work or dinner on a rooftop restaurant from time to time? And if that is all that the two of you are doing, again, why are they deserving of the word “friend”?
Hmph and don’t get me started on the lack of reciprocity that typically transpires when it comes to dealing with people like this because, while they won’t mind you spending your coins on them, taking their calls in the middle of the night or listening to all of their issues — when it comes time for them to show up for you, they very well may gaslight you into thinking that you are being dramatic, clingy or “doing the most.” Why? Well, it’s mostly because the two of you never really established what the hell the both of you are to one another.
And so, while you’re somewhere taking them seriously, they are out here seeing you casually, and as much as it might hurt to hear, that doesn’t automatically or necessarily make them a bad person. You shouldn’t expect much where no clarity is involved. After all, casual is just that: CASUAL.
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I’m hoping that you can now see why I entitled this piece in the way that I did. It’s because a red flag is pretty much a warning, and to me, a casual friend is about as big of an oxymoron (again, to me) as casual sex is. Friends and sex are both too intimate to be seen or treated casually. Oh, but if you step out and take that risk, you could find yourself getting far more involved than the other individual ever wanted to go, because casual is how things have always been. “Friend” was simply to get you more mentally and emotionally invested. SMDH.
American columnist Walter Winchell once said, “A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.” A wise person once said, “One good friendship will outlive forty average loves." Former President Ulysses S. Grant once said, “The friend in my adversity I shall always cherish most. I can better trust those who helped to relieve the gloom of my dark hours than those who are so ready to enjoy with me the sunshine of my prosperity.” Does any of this sound casual to you? Yeah, me neither.
Again, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t have people in your life who aren’t on deep levels. I’m just saying that you might want to consider putting them into another category than friend, because what friends do for people? There ain’t nothin’ even remotely casual about it, sis. Not even a lil’ bit.
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