February is all about manifesting the life of your dreams! Aquarius Season is underway, Mercury is officially out of retrograde, and there is a Full Moon in Leo as the month begins. Magic is what we are walking into as we move through February, and this is the time of being an active creator of your life. Think about your hopes and dreams and how confident you are in seeing them come to fruition. The Leo Full Moon is on February 5th and is the Snow Moon of the year. This Full Moon is about recognizing the progress that you feel in your life right now, owning your successes and who you are, and understanding sometimes growth needs to be felt within before it manifests without.
Mercury enters Aquarius on February 11th, and Mercury in Aquarius puts communication, community, and logic to the forefront. Mercury will be in this air sign until March 2nd, and communication channels flow with inspired ideas, unique perspectives, and progressive conversations. This is the month to use your voice, speak up about what you are passionate about, and also be willing to learn something new. Pisces Season begins on February 18th, and this Pisces Season is a time of new beginnings and having compassion for yourself and others. Pisces Season is a time of the year when emotions are heightened, and transparency prevails.
The New Moon of the month occurs in Pisces on February 20th, and this New Moon is bringing about an influx of passion and opportunity with Venus entering Aries on the same day. This New Moon is all about setting your intentions, believing in them wholeheartedly, and allowing unconditional love into your life. While Venus is in Aries until March 16th, love takes on a more independent tone, and Venus in Aries doesn’t settle for anything less than excitement, passion, and authenticity. February overall is a time of believing in yourself, creating from the heart, and allowing a new beginning to take place in your life.
Aries
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleFebruary is a time of tapping into your inner power, Aries. You are coming to some important conclusions and insights and are supported on your path toward self-discovery. Some big changes are happening for you in February, and with the Sun in your 11th house for most of the month, you are feeling an ease of connection, community, and understanding in your world.
On February 5th there is a Full Moon in your 5th house of romance, and love is blooming for you. Your relationships are coming full circle, and you are seeing the truth of the connections in your life right now. Before the month ends, Venus, the planet of love, enters your sign and will be here from February 20th - March 16th. The love in your life is here to stay, and this month is about recognizing yourself as worthy of that.
Taurus
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis month is all about nurturing your world, Taurus. You are rising above and doing what needs to be done to maintain your peace. You have created a good environment around you to nurture yourself and others and thrive, and you are enjoying the gifts of the present moment. In February you are showing up.
With the Sun moving into your house of friendship on February 18th and a New Moon here a few days later, your people are coming in. You are recognizing the soulmate connections in your life right now, and this is a month to open your mind to new possibilities and connections as well. Venus enters your 12th house of endings before the month ends, and it’s all about releasing the past and creating a new path forward for yourself.
Gemini
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleFebruary is a breakthrough month for you, Gemini. This is a month where you are feeling positively moved by the transformations that have been playing out for you, and you are flowing in synergy. This is the month to spend more time on the things you love, take care of your energy, and do what makes you happy.
Your ruling planet Mercury is officially direct in February, and communication channels clear up. Mercury moves into your 9th house on February 11th and you are exploring your options right now. You are inspired by the open horizons that are presenting themselves to you this month and enjoying where you are. The Sun moves into your house of career and goals before the month ends, and you get in serious mode moving into March.
Cancer
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleThe universe has your back, Cancer. This month is about remaining patient with what is becoming for you and trusting the divine timing of your life. Success is there for you this month and it’s about recognizing the true gifts in your world while creating the space for more. You are in the perfect position to receive blessings, and you can trust the path that you are on right now.
Mercury moves into your 8th house of rebirth on February 11th, and you move into the month going through a time of rejuvenating your mind, releasing fears and restrictions, and diving deeper into the connections and commitments in your life. There is a New Moon in fellow water sign Pisces before the month ends on February 20th, and you are feeling the excitement in your life as new doors open for you.
Leo
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleFebruary is all about honoring the cycles of love and your life, Leo. You have been moving through some new personal changes recently that have made you look at love in a new light. You are moving toward greater connection and understanding in your relationships, and are feeling all the feels in February. With the Full Moon of the month happening in your sign on February 5th, you enter the month with a sense of confidence, closure, and trust.
The Sun is in your 7th house of love until February 18th, there is a lot to be grateful for this month. Relationships are filled with new growth and passion, and you are communicating from the heart. The New Moon on February 20th is occurring in an area of your life having to do with commitments, shared finances, sensuality, and transformation; and you are seeing the benefits and manifestations of your intentions both financially and emotionally right now.
Virgo
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleFebruary is all about moving forward and switching things up, Virgo. You are getting things together, creating new experiences for yourself, and valuing your time and energy. There are positive reflections, communications, and creations happening for you this month and you are moving forward and the leader of your destiny. Know that you are divinely protected every step of the way.
With your ruling planet Mercury in your 6th house of health, work, and daily routine for most of the month, you are being the busy bee that you are and taking care of the added responsibilities on your plate this month. Don’t overstress, and take it day by day or thought by thought. Pisces Season begins on February 18th and the energy moves from the mind to the heart. You are moving through the end of the month with love on the brain and relationships moving through a new beginning.
Libra
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleYou are paving a new path for yourself this month, Libra. February is a month of creating new opportunities for yourself instead of waiting for them. This is the month to put some plans into motion and to create the future you intend for yourself. There is a Full Moon on February 5th that is all about recognizing your hopes and dreams and the people that want to help you get there.
Your guidance for the month is to recognize your gifts, talents, and knowledge in life, Libra. Mercury, the planet of communication, moves into your 5th house of self-expression and romance on February 11th, and it’s all about expressing who you are and allowing love and support into your life. Something is enticing and hopeful about the path you are walking on this month, Libra.
Scorpio
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleFebruary is a month of endings, transformation, and personal growth, Scorpio. You are moving through some major closures in your life and seeing past intentions coming to fruition right now. This month is teaching you all about letting go, and about not forcing what is out of your control. February is a time of getting clearer on your truths and understandings and about unwavering self-love.
The New Moon on February 20th happening in fellow water sign Pisces is allowing you to begin anew with your creative projects and visions, and you are clearing from your life what doesn’t support your growth. The end of the month is a good time to set intentions for happiness, love, and self-confidence. February overall is all about valuing who you are and letting go of what takes you away from your center.
Sagittarius
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleFebruary is all about working together with others and putting aside differences, Sagittarius. This month is highlighting where in your life you can experience a coming together, and what relationship dynamics need a change. The Full Moon in Leo on February 5th is happening in your 9th house of travel and adventure, and this is a good time to let go of mentally restricting thought patterns, reflect, and get away.
With Venus being in your 4th house of home and family for most of the month, February is also a good time to spruce up the home, nurture your inner world, and connect with family and loved ones. You are overall in the process of learning from the dualities in your life, releasing the challenges of the past, and owning your light in the process.
Capricorn
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleFebruary is a time of healing the inner child, connecting with what makes you happy, and not being afraid to communicate and open up emotionally, Capricorn. You are awakening to some new emotions and inspirations this month. The Sun is in your 2nd house for most of February and you are creating new plans for yourself and your finances, putting some goals into motion, and knocking off your to-do lists.
Moving further into February there is a New Moon in your 3rd house of communication where the Sun will also now be at that time, and you are experiencing communication breakthroughs. Divine insight and important messages are coming in, and the clarity you are finding now is easing up the pressure on your shoulders. This month is your time to be, love, and use your voice.
Aquarius
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleSupport is coming in for you, Aquarius, and this is your time to shine! February is a time of divine intervention for you, and you are spending time in gratitude and appreciation for all that is. With the Sun in Aquarius for most of the month and Aquarius Season in full swing, gifts are coming into your life and they are coming through from your patience, determination, and attention to detail. You have been moving through a time of self-mastery and creating new beginnings for yourself.
Mercury moves into your sign from February 11th until March 2nd, and people want to hear what you have to say. You are being given a platform to express yourself, channel positive energy, and connect with like-minded individuals- use it wisely. Your unique self is worthy of a seat at the table, and you are pulling out the chair this month. There is magic flowing through your world in February, Aquarius.
Pisces
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecoleYour guidance for the month is to be flexible and allow love in Pisces. The changes you’ve been wanting to see in your life are coming about for you, but you may have to open your mind to some new possibilities of what that looks like. The past, present, and future are all coming together as one and creating a new path for yourself this month. Walk through new doors opening with grace.
Pisces Season officially begins on February 18th, and the spotlight is on you right now. This is your time to free yourself from self-imposed restrictions and live confidently in your truths. You have been moving mountains in your life and deserve to enjoy more of your successes and freedom. There is a New Moon in Pisces on February 20th, and this is the time to set intentions for your emotional well-being, self-love, and personal progress in life.
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- Pisces Woman And Taurus Man Love Compatibility ›
- Your January 2023 Horoscopes Are All About Trusting The Timing Of Your Life ›
RELATED
Whether you're planning to meet a certain financial or fitness goal, or you're simply trying to maintain and build on the progress you made this year, having something to look forward to is always a good look. Setting actual goals, according to research, actually leads to more success than just playing things by ear. So here are a few to get you started, sis:
(Disclaimer: Not everything is for everyone, so do like my Granny always says: "Eat the meat. Spit out the bone." Take on five out of the 40 and focus on that for the remainder of the year, or do them all. Either way, this is just to get you started.)
40 Ways To End The Year Strong and Inspired
Money Moves
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1. Increase your retirement (or other savings/investment) contributions by 1%.
Experts have found that you could be leaving money on the table by not upping your contributions when you can.
2. Cancel two to five subscriptions.
You could be missing hundreds, even thousands, of dollars a year due to sneaky price hikes and "updates."
3. Create a "fun" in a high-yield savings account.
This is especially important if you struggle with the dreaded b-word (budget) and will make next year's efforts a lot less intimidating. Even if it's $10 a month, do it.
4. Put on your big-girl panties, and set up automatic transfers and payments for at least one bill.
It reduces the stress of managing bills, lessens the chance of a missed payment---and the fees that come with that---and there can be cost savings for doing so.
5. Invest in a cleaner or housekeeping service.
Bosses who value their time (and mental health) invest their dollars into areas where the time they'd spend doing those tasks themselves could be better used to focus on other money-making projects. (And yes, rest is part of that.) Get a housekeeper, sis, or drop off that laundry, even if it's once per month.
6. Donate to a charity.
Beyond the tax benefits, it's a win-win for the greater good of communities you care about.
7. Review your insurance policies and negotiate a better rate (or move on) before their end dates.
Experts often agree this is a small but mighty step to take each year, especially since insurance rates are competitive, you could be spending more money than you need to (or not enough) and your insurance rates can affect your mortgage payments.
8. Call your loan provider and refinance.
As interest rates fall, “millions of borrowers may be able to refinance and get more affordable payments. As interest rates eased down to 6.5%, about 2.5 million borrowers could already refinance and save at least 75 basis points (0.75%) on their interest rate,” the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau reports. You can also refinance student and other types of loans.
9. Stop buying individual items and stock up via going bulk.
Research has found that, among 30 common products, buying in bulk could save you 27% compared with buying in lower quantities. Water, paper products, and baby products like diapers, toiletries, and garbage bags are the top items where people see the most cost-effectiveness. (This has been a lifesaver for me—children, large family, or not—especially when it comes to toothpaste, deodorant, toilet paper, and feminine hygiene products, saving stress, time, and money.)
10. Go cash-only for the holidays.
If you set smart goals and stick to limits on things like gifts, going out to eat, or groceries, you'll see the benefits of this. Cash-stuffing is one method recommended, but something as simple as taking a $10 bill out for lunch, disabling that card for an hour, and leaving your card in a safe place at the office can give you that mindset jump start to see how far you can take your money without the need to splurge.
Love And Romance
11. Say "no."
There are clear mental and physical health benefits to saying no including the setting of healthy boundaries, creating time and energy for other self-care activities, and protecting yourself from physically harmful situations (i.e. unprotected sex or abuse). Just say it, clearly and simply, when you need to.
12. Set a fun, free, adults-only date night for once a week or twice a month with your spouse.
If busy, high-profile folk have touted the success of this, even you can make the time for quality time with your partner. And it's even better when it costs nothing. The best connections are made doing something chill, challenging, or outside the usual dinner-and-a-movie date. Play a game that allows you to reconnect, take a walk in your neighborhood to chat and laugh, or try a little erotic chocolate/edible liquid/paint episode a la Mea Culpa.
13. Go out with Mr. or Ms. "Not My Type."
I love my man, but if I were waiting out for my "type" at the time, we wouldn't be celebrating seven (going on eight) years together. Sometimes having strict, unrealistic expectations for a spouse (especially related to things like height, physical features, or career path) is what's keeping you alone and lonely.
Take the pressure off and explore all your options. I'm not telling you to stop popping the balloon on the guy who earns $20,000 less than you if that's a hard no that Jesus himself told you to skip. I'm asking you to explore other options and see what else God might have out there for your love journey.
14. Immediately apologize and pray together.
I've learned that always being "right" isn't always ideal when you truly care about someone and you're in a relationship for the long haul. Defaulting to an apology when necessary, even when things aren't 100% resolved, is a good way to prioritize peace and save your energy for more worthwhile battles. Research has even supported the benefits of apologies in relationships, and how couples married for five or more years do it often.
15. Get a Rose and discover true self-love.
Do I really have to explain this? You've gotta know what satisfies you, and how better to figure that out than to practice self-love in the bed by yourself? You can also try this with a partner, but as a woman who got on this train very much later in my sexual activity journey. I have a lot more learning to do on my own, and even in a satisfying relationship, I like to find out new things about myself, by myself.
Figure out what you're into, watch what you want to watch, and read what you want to read to define pleasure for yourself. There's a freedom and empowering element there especially if you're used to prioritizing pleasing your partner.
16. Be direct and have the "money talk" with bae.
Money issues are one of the leading causes of divorce, so you need to have those conversations before you even think about marrying someone. And true, nobody can predict the future so you won't be able to avoid some challenges altogether, however, talking with your potential spouse about how they view money, their spending habits, and the pain points in terms of their approach to money management can at least give you a glimpse into what's in store if you do walk down the aisle, move in with them, or decide to share a bank account/business/child with them.
17. Invest in the "paid" version of that dating app.
I know plenty of successful, married folk who did this and met "the one" as a result. Let's be honest: The free version is for playing around. I had a lot of fun with my "free" profile back in the day, trust me. Upgrade that photo, profile, and package, and see if the quality of your dating adventures changes when you're serious about finding a true partner. Dating coaches and matchmakers cosign this.
18. Solo travel to meet that long-distance connection.
Sometimes, your perfect match isn't within 100 miles of you, and that's okay. Make it an adventure, enjoy the memories, and book that ticket. I met my man this way and it's been a whirlwind escape ever since. If you're not comfortable traveling solo, travel or (network to plan travel) with a group via Facebook.
Career And Business
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19. Schedule coffee or virtual meetups with smart people from your graduating class, previous employer, or current employer.
I have gotten many freelance opportunities by doing this. It's as simple as connecting and offering value (or simply learning how you can better equip yourself to do so.) It's also a great way to expand your network, spark new friendships, or find out about new job opportunities.
20. Invest in a well-made suit.
I don't care what industry you're in, a suit says "power," and it's not as old-school or out-of-style as you'd think. Plus the whole experience of looking for a new one (or getting one tailored) is fun and affirming. Try these options. I swear, anytime I wear a blazer, I'm treated like a celebrity or boss, especially when traveling. I was once upgraded to first-class wearing a yellow blazer outfit, and the airline professional literally said, "You look like somebody important. Here you go."
21. Volunteer for a worthwhile project or cause that's important to your company.
If you're overworked and underappreciated, skip this one, but if you truly have the time, love what you do, and want to advance, this move is clutch. Volunteering for extra projects got me where I am today in media because I had foresight, and knew that was the only way at the time to leverage relationships, and I was able to challenge myself to learn skills that 20 years later are still bankable. That VP you can't get a meeting with will be at that gala your company is planning, so join that committee, sis.
22. Write down why you deserve a raise and ask for it in your next one-on-one.
Gather those receipts (ie sales increase numbers, KPIs met, deals closed, people acquired via recruitment, the impact of systems updates, or other tangible success metrics) and ask for that raise before the first or second-quarter budgets are being finalized.
23. Instead of quitting, write down your exit plan.
While revenge quitting is set to be a thing next year (and maybe you're among those who will be leading the trend), try the better boss move and quit with a real plan.
24. Start automatically separating that estimated self-employed quarterly tax estimate.
If you have side hustles (or you're collecting 1099 income,) baby, you do not want to neglect those quarter tax payments. Talk to a professional, do your research, and set up automatic transfers to an account specifically for paying these at the appropriate due dates.
25. Sign up for a free one- to 11-week course related to your industry—or the industry you want to be in next year.
Institutions like Harvard University and platforms like Coursera offer free courses that can enhance your skills. You can also invest in certificate courses with accredited colleges as well as tech training.
26. Hit "Easy Apply" for 10 dream jobs listed on LinkedIn.
While you shouldn't solely rely on this when actively job-seeking, using this convenient LinkedIn option is a great way to get into the habit of applying for positions. And if you're already employed, you should still be "dating" other employers if you're looking to make a move in the next six months. Keep your interview skills sharp, practice toughening up for the "nos," and get a bit of an ego boost in the process.
Self-Care And Wellness
27. Pre-schedule three month's worth of massages.
Oftentimes this is cost-effective since some spas offer deals for multiple bookings. Also, it makes an act of self-care deliberate and important, not an option. When you get that reminder call, you'll know it's real.
28. Fire that therapist and try another one.
Cultural competency in mental health support is one major problem that can hinder Black women from even bothering with therapy. And who wants the added stress of spending multiple, paid sessions explaining why something is a microaggression? Cut the cord and move on to try someone else, either via a Black women therapists channel or recommendations from others.
29. Join a small group at church.
Bedside service ain't gonna cut it and neither is going to the usual Sunday service. Join a smaller group and upgrade your efforts to connect, network, and elevate spiritually. Even if virtually, take a step to dig a bit deeper with more targeted Bible study and discussions.
30. Say no, even to loved ones.
This is on here twice, for a reason. Saying no is the simplest, most powerful micro-action you can take today to make 2025 better. No explanations. No guilt. Say no.
31. Choose one "luxury" beauty product for skincare and stick to it.
This was trending big on social, especially for millennials hitting their 40s. There's just something so freeing about not giving in to every trend and sticking to the basics that work, especially when there are quality, healthy ingredients involved. Put those orders on auto-renew.
32. Sign up for a new sport or fitness class just for fun, not for results.
It's great to be on a weight-loss or weight-lifting journey, but try something just for the fun of it. Switch things up with a couple of these fitness activities.
33. Book a staycation.
Leave the passport at home and explore a nearby community or another town in your state. There's so much enrichment in your own backyard right here in the U.S., and you don't even have to break the bank.
34. Pre-schedule your mammograms, Pap smear, and peri-menopause checkups for next year.
Take control of your health by pre-scheduling essential appointments like mammograms, Pap smears, and peri-menopause check-ups for 2025. Prioritizing these screenings early ensures you stay on top of your wellness and make time for self-care in the new year.
35. Cut off support of beauty and wellness professionals whose customer service is below standard.
This is another one that many Black women have been vocal about—from unrealistic pre-appointment requirements, to booking fees, to long waits, to unsavory in-salon experiences. Spot the red flags early, and just stop accommodating foolishness. Support salons or experienced stylists who are kind, have proper systems in place and value your time.
36. Schedule five to 10-minute moments of silence on your calendar.
Again, wellness is not optional, and if it's not on my calendar, it's not official. Sit quietly. Pray. Meditate. Or do nothing. The benefits of silent moments are almost endless.
37. Download a meditation app.
If you've found that meditation is difficult to schedule or to even start, an app can help. Try this, this, or this one, and take that step to embrace something new to enhance your wellness routine. If you're tired of downloading apps, create a playlist for meditation via Amazon Music or Spotify and schedule a reminder to do it once a day or week.
38. Invest in a healthy meal prep or delivery service.
Time is emotionally expensive, so save as much of it as possible. Getting into meal prep to keep to your goals is a great way to save time, stress, and effort. The health benefits of meal prepping have also been proven via research.
39. Create a positive playlist on Spotify, Amazon Music, YouTube, or other streaming platform.
It can be podcasts, music, affirmations, or somatic sounds. It's a game-changer. You can even set an alarm to wake you up to start your day with the positive playlist. Not into creating your own? There are plenty to choose from with a quick search.
40. Set up reminders for Alexa (Siri or other AI) to remind you, "You are loved," and "You are okay."
This simple effort can boost your endorphins and remind you that you're indeed, not alone, and you will be okay, regardless. To set mine up, I simply commanded, "Alexa, remind me everyday 'Jesus loves me,'" and like clockwork she does. She almost scared the ish out of me one day when I'd forgotten the reminder was active, but it was the reminder I needed when anxiety had gotten the best of me that week.
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Either way, we’re breaking down how to harness the alluring black cat energy to attract and cultivate your purrrfect match, or how to deepen your current relationship.
What is Black Cat Energy?
Black cat energy has made a splash all over TikTok since 2021 where users have popularized “the black cat/golden retriever” theory based on the notorious attributes of felines and pups.
Pet owners and those who have had the pleasure of engaging with furry friends know that cats tend to have personality traits of being more independent, cautious, and unbothered until they develop a relationship with you – then you’ll be graced with their loveable side – whereas dogs, much like golden retrievers, are often overly excited to see you, bursting with happy energy, and seeking your affection, even if they just met you.
Black cats especially possess an elusive, regal, and pompous vibe that makes them irresistible. You can’t simply win these mysterious creatures over with your mere presence. You’ll have to earn their affection.
And if by a stroke of luck, they open up to you, they’ll always keep you wanting more of them. That same je ne sais quoi is what TikTokers are raving about, claiming that if you channel black cat energy into your love life, you’ll summon the person of your dreams and make them fall in love with every part of you.
What’s more, according to The Spruce Pets, single women in Japan who own black cats are believed to attract more suitors. In parts of Great Britain, a black cat is the quintessential wedding gift because they’re believed to bring good luck and happiness to the bride.
Why the Black Cat/Golden Retriever Dynamic Works
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Anyone can be the black cat or the golden retriever in the relationship, but TikTokers and some relationship experts say the best way to ensure long-lasting compatibility is for the woman to be the black cat, while the man exudes golden retriever tendencies.
Dating coach Anwar White solidifies finding the yin to your yang, instructing women to find their complement. “Most people look to date their clone and you’re going to need to date looking for your compliment – that is what is going to bring you the most success.”
In the 14 years he’s been a dating coach, he shared the best complementary personalities that make for a good match. “If you’re a type A, boss babe, you’re going to be looking for the optimistic golden retriever guy. This is the guy that wants to get done whatever you want to get done. This is the engineer, the federal employee, or an architect. It’s very much black cat/golden retriever vibes.”
No matter what stage you’re at in your love life, it’s never too late to transition from subservient golden retriever to omnipotent black cat.
TikToker @jaclyn.dasilva explains that she used to be in her golden retriever energy in her marriage – catering to her husband, and what he needed and liked until she learned how to epitomize the black cat energy.
“We have this beautiful energy as women. When we learn to put all that beautiful, nurturing energy into ourselves that is when they want us. That is when they chase us. Now I think about what I want to eat. What do I want to drink? What book do I want to read? And I put my energy into myself.”
She continues, “And now he’s the one chasing me. He’s the one who can’t get enough of me. When we see ourselves as the prize, that is when he sees us as the prize. Stop chasing him. Let him chase you. Be about you, he’ll be about you.”
How To Embody The Black Cat Principles In Your Dating Life
Dating and maintaining a flourishing relationship in today’s technology-driven world is no easy feat. We have abundantly more access to swipe right or left on apps, or serendipitously meet a great catch in person than our parents and grandparent’s generations.
And yet, with all the potential options, somehow it seems more difficult to stumble across Mr. or Mrs. Right or to maintain a long-term symbiotic relationship. Fortunately navigating dating and relationships becomes easier when you know exactly who you are–your different quirks, flaws, and assets–and when you keenly understand the little things that titillate your world and accept the nuances and icks of a person that you know are not aligned with you.
A woman relishing in her black cat energy and femininity knows exactly what she wants and needs and doesn’t detour from who she is for anyone. These are the qualities of black cat women:
High Standards
Nothing says you’re the main character or HBIC like flaunting high standards and sticking to them.
TikToker Anna Kristina, the self-proclaimed creator of the "black cat theory" shared how to become the ultimate black cat and have men eating from the palm of your hand. “You have to be inconvenient. You have to be bitchy. You have to have standards and certain expectations. The higher the expectations, and the more unrealistic, the better.”
Elusiveness
Relationship TikToker Tomisin Atobatele offers women insights into the essence of being elusive. "I want you to stop being eager to tell men everything you’re thinking and feeling, and especially tell men exactly what you desire. If a guy asks you what you want out of a guy, or what you’re looking for, I want you to be vague…When you’re vague, and someone’s interested in you, it forces them to do work in order to get those answers.”
"And just that fast, you’ve created a scenario where he’s thinking about you," he added. "He’s thinking about your needs. He’s thinking about your wants and desires. And in the process of him thinking about your wants and desires, his focus is on you.”
Firm Boundary Setter
Self-preservation, respect, and overall happiness stem from healthy boundaries. A woman basking in black cat energy knows exactly when and how to implement boundaries. Black cats have boundaries. They will let you know when they are done getting petted," said TikToker Marian Bacol.
“They will let you know when they want to give you attention. They will stare you down if they are done with you. They are clear on their boundaries and they’re not afraid to enforce it. They don’t give love and affection to anyone and everyone the way that dogs do. Cats are more selective and that’s how you have to be with your energy.”
Unapologetically Authentic
A sure way to have a man perpetually falling for you is to be authentically you without changing who you are, solely for him.
“If you want him to chase you as opposed to you chasing him, you need to remember this one thing…whatever attributes you have: your style, your hair color, your whatever you’ve got going on – you don’t change for him," said life coach Margarita Nazarenko. "The black cat would never change for a man and that’s what’s going to make him chase you.”
She cements the rule with an analogy: “The rule is: if you make the best chocolate cake and he likes apple pie, make him the best chocolate cake, not a sub apple pie.”
Famous Couples That Successfully Personify Black Cat/Golden Retriever Energy
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These power couples prove why women who helm their black cat energy make their men swoon:
Rihanna & ASAP Rocky
"[The relationship] is going great. I don’t think there’s a more perfect person because when the schedules are hectic, she’s very understanding of that," A$AP Rocky told Billboard about his relationship with Rihanna. "And when the schedule’s freed up, that’s when you get to spend [the] most time together. It’s all understanding and compatibility.
Ashanti & Nelly
Lauren Speed Hamilton & Cameron Hamilton
Lauren Speed Hamilton and Cameron Hamilton are proof positive of the Love Is Blind concept. More recently, the married couple got real on their podcast about the struggles of expanding their family through fertility treatments. "When I saw what you were going through, terms of taking the medications, doing the daily shots, knowing that IVF and all this stuff wasn't really something that you naturally wanted to do but you did it for me," Cameron shared in episode 2 of The Love Seat podcast with Lauren, his voice beginning to crack.
"You showed me a new level of love that I'd never seen before."
Kristy Scott & Desmond Scott
Zendaya & Tom Holland
"You can’t really find anything against Zendaya, she’s kind of like the perfect person," Tom Holland shared about girlfriend Zendaya in a 2021 interview with Backstage. "It was so wonderful to have someone like her in my corner, to help me grow through that process … Having her as a friend has been so valuable to the success and happiness of my career and life."
Gabrielle Union & Dwyane Wade
Ciara & Russell Wilson
"For me, I knew that God had brought me in her life to bless her and for her to bless me," Russell Wilson told Access Hollywood about wife Ciara.
Serena Williams & Alexis Ohanian
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