December is a powerful month for the world and a month where love, power, and connection are all coming together as one. With the Astrological transits that are happening this month, true gifts are appearing to tap in to, and the possibilities are truly endless right now. Sagittarius Season is always a time when there is more hope and excitement in the air, and December is no different. There are a lot of opportunities this month if you open your heart to receiving them.
The month starts with Neptune in Pisces moving out of retrograde and going direct on December 3rd. What this means is clarity, hope, and dreams coming to fruition. Neptune retrograde made rose-colored glasses seem like the right idea, and with the blinders off now, you are better able to grasp love and turn your vision into reality. On December 6th, Mercury moves out of Sagittarius and into Capricorn, and this move is all about taking a grounded approach to your thoughts and ideas, and about creating concrete results in your world.
On December 7th, the Cold Moon of the year arrives, and this Full Moon will be occurring in Gemini. With Mars currently retrograde in Gemini, this Full Moon is aligning with passion but is also a reminder that without being in the right headspace, things don’t come together as smoothly. The Moon in Gemini can get a little chaotic, and this Full Moon is an opportunity to let go of what knocks you off your ground and to align with inspiration powerfully and purposefully. Venus enters earth sign Capricorn a few days later, helping us ground the lessons we have learned in love over the past year. Venus in Capricorn’s love language is gift giving and with the holidays prevailing during this time of the year, the mood is right to give love and receive it.
Jupiter makes a powerful move into Aries on December 20th, where it will be until May 16, 2023. Jupiter in Aries is an especially magical time for fire signs and cardinal signs. Jupiter in Aries rewards independence and empowerment and is a time to pave your own path in life. The Sun moves into Capricorn the next day on December 21st, and Capricorn Season is here to replenish, ground, and bring things full circle. Before the month comes to a close and 2022 to an end, there is a New Moon in Capricorn and Chiron goes direct on December 23rd, and Mercury goes retrograde on December 29th until January 18, 2023.
With the year ending with a Mercury retrograde, there is a need to do more reflection than pushing forward, and the closer you are to the heart, the closer you are to your true power in life.
Aries Monthly Horoscope for December 2022
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis is a month of empowerment for you, Aries. As the year comes to a close, you are taking a look at your resources, your wins, and your self-empowerment, and are moving forward with this type of vigor and confidence. December is a time of action for you, and a time of focusing on your personal goals in life and going after them. You hold the power in your hands, remember that.
Some important transits are happening for you for December, and that is Jupiter moving back into your sign on December 20th, where it will finish its lucky transit until May 16, 2023. Jupiter in your sign is a time of blessings, and you are moving into a once-every-decade type of luck right now. A few days later Chiron moves out of retrograde and goes direct in Aries on December 23rd, and you are seeing the positive outcomes of the personal healing you have been through this year.
Taurus Monthly Horoscope for December 2022
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleDecember is all about trusting your intuition, and focusing on where you are headed right now, Taurus. This year you have been learning a lot about your inner guidance system, what manifestation means for you, and how to tap more into this powerful energy. This month you are envisioning your future with optimism, and seeing glimpses of a new day. December is an inspiring time for you, and a time when the vision is clear.
Venus, your ruling planet, moves into Capricorn on December 9th and into your house of adventure. With this transition, you are looking to have more fun as the year ends and your love life is getting a boost of excitement as well. With a New Moon in this area of your chart also on December 23rd, you are moving out of the year with faith, joy, and opportunity. This month overall is a time for you to get the full picture and decide what intentions you want to set forth in your life now.
Gemini Monthly Horoscope for December 2022
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleDecember for you is all about love and balance, and balance and love, Gemini. You are ready to close one chapter in your life and tap into a new one. You are seeing some closures in your life this month, and are moving more into love. With the Sun in your 7th house of romance for most of the month, new developments are taking place in your life regarding relationships and you are getting the opportunity to experience a coming together and deeper connections in love.
The Full Moon of December is in your sign on December 7th. This Full Moon is the Cold Moon of the year, and you are letting go of anything that keeps you away from who you are and who you want to be. You are experiencing emotional renewal, growth, and divine clarity during this time. Your ruling planet Mercury goes retrograde before the year ends on December 29th, and you are leaving the year reflecting on what has been, your belief systems today, and what matters to you most.
Cancer Monthly Horoscope for December 2022
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis is a month of becoming for you, Cancer. You are experiencing an inner awakening in December, and are overcoming some previous challenges. Over the past few months, you have been taking a step back, focusing on your health and your peace of mind, and have been protecting your energy. Before the year ends, you are ready for your big debut, and you are putting yourself out there and letting your divine light shine.
Love is a powerful force in your life this month, as the energy moves into your house of love and commitment. Venus will be highlighting your love zones for most of the month, and you are feeling the unconditional love that you so often give. Jupiter moves into Aries on December 20th and into your 10th house of career, and you are seeing some projects come to fruition and your hard work is being recognized. While Jupiter is in Aries until May 2023, you will be moving through a powerful and fortunate time regarding your reputation, professional life, and career.
Leo Monthly Horoscope for December 2022
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleDecember is a coming together of love and harmony, Leo. This is a month where you get to take a deep breath and relax into the peace and beauty that your life has come to. This month is all about giving and receiving love, taking out moments for gratitude, and enjoying what is. Compassion is filling your world, and there are a lot of pleasant experiences in store for you as the year comes to a close.
Some important transits that are happening for you in December are that Jupiter moves into Aries on December 20th and into your 9th house of travel, spirituality, and adventure; and Chiron moves out of retrograde and goes direct in this same area of your chart on December 23rd. What’s happening now is that your eyes are opening to the possibilities, the gifts, and the love in your life and your future. You are moving into a special time in your life where you are exploring the world around you, meeting new and inspiring people, and seeing firsthand, your power as a divine creator of your life.
Virgo Monthly Horoscope for December 2022
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleDecember is all about finding your balance, letting go of the baggage, and focusing on your personal truths in life, Virgo. This month is reminding you that sometimes when you can’t find the light, you have to become it and light your own way forward. Not everyone is going to understand you in life or get where you are going, but you must be the one to stand in your gifts, your empowerment, and your authenticity.
Your passion is being highlighted this month as you walk into your purpose and let go of the doubts or restrictions of others. With Neptune going direct in your 7th house of love on December 3rd, you are gaining clarity regarding your relationships in life and things are less cloudy here. Venus enters your 5th house of happiness and romance on December 9th, and the space you have created in your life up until now is ready to be filled with more love, light, and hope. By the end of the year, your heart is having its say and you are feeling empowered by what is coming to fruition for you in life.
Libra Monthly Horoscope for December 2022
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis month is all about healing, renewal, and gaining some clarity on your personal belief systems in life and if they have been hindering or empowering you, Libra. In December you are finding your balance between acknowledging and processing what has been, but also turning a new page in your life and not getting too caught up in the past. Your guidance for the month is to take what you know now and to focus on taking one step forward each day.
With Jupiter moving into your opposite sign Aries and into your 7th house of partnership, you are walking into a powerful and blessed time in your love life. While Jupiter is roaming through your love zone until May 2023, you are ready to experience the gifts of connection and commitment and are experiencing a level-up in love. Before the year ends Mercury goes retrograde in your 4th house and you are getting back to the basics, connecting with family, and redefining your safe spaces.
Scorpio Monthly Horoscope for December 2022
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleDecember is a time of rejuvenation and opportunity, Scorpio. You are lifting yourself up from the past, and are walking into your new day. This month is all about getting creative with where your life is and where it’s headed, and about taking a more active approach to your life. Believe in your power as a creator and put some of your inspirations and skills to use this month, Scorpio. You will be surprised by what you can create and manifest for yourself with the right mindset and confidence.
On December 7th, there is a Full Moon in your 8th house of intimacy and rebirth, and you are going through an emotional transformation during this time. The end of the year is about ego death and about gaining your true power from within. Jupiter moves into your house of health and work before the year ends on December 20th, and you are overcoming the past health challenges you have faced this year and have more time and energy on your hands to live free, healthy, and grounded.
Sagittarius Monthly Horoscope for December 2022
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis month is all about aligning with your divine purpose in life, Sagittarius. With Sagittarius Season underway and your eternal flame beaming, you are experiencing true joy and accomplishment this month. December is a time of past, present, and future all coming together as one, and you are living in your divine alchemy. The universe is helping you tap into your personal truths and power this month and you are inspiring those around you.
With the Sun in your 1st house for most of December, this time is all about putting yourself first more, and about living your full potential. The Full Moon on December 7th is activating the power within your relationships and is a time to flow rather than force. The New Moon on December 23rd before the month ends is occurring in your income zone, and this is a good time to set your intentions for your finances for the rest of the year and the year ahead. December is here to remind you that you are worth everything you are currently asking for in life.
Capricorn Monthly Horoscope for December 2022
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleAs the year comes to a close, you are assessing your wins and your losses of the year. This is a month of finding your inner balance, and about giving yourself more grace and compassion through what you have experienced. Your guidance for the month is to not be afraid to be vulnerable with others or ask for help and advice when needed. There is true power in vulnerability, and life is cracking some things open for you this month, Capricorn.
A lot of the energy is in your sign this month with Mercury moving into Capricorn on December 6th, Venus on December 9th, the Sun on the 21st, a New Moon on December 23rd, and Mercury going retrograde in your sign on December 23rd. The year is ending on a Capricorn tone and who better than you to move through this time? What’s happening as the month ends is positive self-recognition and realizing that the vision you have of yourself is a direct correlation to the vision you think others have of you. Align with your truths, and put your happiness first.
Aquarius Monthly Horoscope for December 2022
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleDecember is a time of summoning your inner power, Aquarius. You are feeling confident in the tools you have and the people that are by your side right now, and are leaving the year with more gained in your life than you began the year. This year has shown you how strong your determination in life is, and it is commendable how you have had your back through every step of the way this year.
As chapters come to a close and you walk into a new day, you have love surrounding you and greater opportunities to speak up and share your voice. Jupiter moving into Aries on December 20th is a powerful move for communication in your life, and you are moving into a time of self-expression, connection, and movement. The New Moon on December 23rd is moving through your 12th house of closure, and you are ending the year ready to say goodbye to the past, heal, and accept. This year has been a big year for gaining new foundations in life.
Pisces Monthly Horoscope for December 2022
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis month is all about opening up to receive, Pisces. December is a time of allowing, taking a receptive approach, and letting go of the need to push rather than flow. This month is allowing you to attract some good fortune and love into your life, and you are a powerful force of attraction in December. You have been finding your balance this year, and as the year comes to an end you are ready to receive your blessings that are coming through from the grace you have upheld.
Jupiter moves out of your sign on December 20th, and although Jupiter always feels a little brighter in your sign, you are still going to be in a space to receive good fortune with Jupiter now moving into your house of finances and self-value for the next five months. Income streams are developing and you are being valued for who you are and what you bring to the table. The New Moon on the 23rd before the month ends is a time of friendship and hope, and a time where your manifestation potential is enhanced.
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Whether you're planning to meet a certain financial or fitness goal, or you're simply trying to maintain and build on the progress you made this year, having something to look forward to is always a good look. Setting actual goals, according to research, actually leads to more success than just playing things by ear. So here are a few to get you started, sis:
(Disclaimer: Not everything is for everyone, so do like my Granny always says: "Eat the meat. Spit out the bone." Take on five out of the 40 and focus on that for the remainder of the year, or do them all. Either way, this is just to get you started.)
40 Ways To End The Year Strong and Inspired
Money Moves
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1. Increase your retirement (or other savings/investment) contributions by 1%.
Experts have found that you could be leaving money on the table by not upping your contributions when you can.
2. Cancel two to five subscriptions.
You could be missing hundreds, even thousands, of dollars a year due to sneaky price hikes and "updates."
3. Create a "fun" in a high-yield savings account.
This is especially important if you struggle with the dreaded b-word (budget) and will make next year's efforts a lot less intimidating. Even if it's $10 a month, do it.
4. Put on your big-girl panties, and set up automatic transfers and payments for at least one bill.
It reduces the stress of managing bills, lessens the chance of a missed payment---and the fees that come with that---and there can be cost savings for doing so.
5. Invest in a cleaner or housekeeping service.
Bosses who value their time (and mental health) invest their dollars into areas where the time they'd spend doing those tasks themselves could be better used to focus on other money-making projects. (And yes, rest is part of that.) Get a housekeeper, sis, or drop off that laundry, even if it's once per month.
6. Donate to a charity.
Beyond the tax benefits, it's a win-win for the greater good of communities you care about.
7. Review your insurance policies and negotiate a better rate (or move on) before their end dates.
Experts often agree this is a small but mighty step to take each year, especially since insurance rates are competitive, you could be spending more money than you need to (or not enough) and your insurance rates can affect your mortgage payments.
8. Call your loan provider and refinance.
As interest rates fall, “millions of borrowers may be able to refinance and get more affordable payments. As interest rates eased down to 6.5%, about 2.5 million borrowers could already refinance and save at least 75 basis points (0.75%) on their interest rate,” the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau reports. You can also refinance student and other types of loans.
9. Stop buying individual items and stock up via going bulk.
Research has found that, among 30 common products, buying in bulk could save you 27% compared with buying in lower quantities. Water, paper products, and baby products like diapers, toiletries, and garbage bags are the top items where people see the most cost-effectiveness. (This has been a lifesaver for me—children, large family, or not—especially when it comes to toothpaste, deodorant, toilet paper, and feminine hygiene products, saving stress, time, and money.)
10. Go cash-only for the holidays.
If you set smart goals and stick to limits on things like gifts, going out to eat, or groceries, you'll see the benefits of this. Cash-stuffing is one method recommended, but something as simple as taking a $10 bill out for lunch, disabling that card for an hour, and leaving your card in a safe place at the office can give you that mindset jump start to see how far you can take your money without the need to splurge.
Love And Romance
11. Say "no."
There are clear mental and physical health benefits to saying no including the setting of healthy boundaries, creating time and energy for other self-care activities, and protecting yourself from physically harmful situations (i.e. unprotected sex or abuse). Just say it, clearly and simply, when you need to.
12. Set a fun, free, adults-only date night for once a week or twice a month with your spouse.
If busy, high-profile folk have touted the success of this, even you can make the time for quality time with your partner. And it's even better when it costs nothing. The best connections are made doing something chill, challenging, or outside the usual dinner-and-a-movie date. Play a game that allows you to reconnect, take a walk in your neighborhood to chat and laugh, or try a little erotic chocolate/edible liquid/paint episode a la Mea Culpa.
13. Go out with Mr. or Ms. "Not My Type."
I love my man, but if I were waiting out for my "type" at the time, we wouldn't be celebrating seven (going on eight) years together. Sometimes having strict, unrealistic expectations for a spouse (especially related to things like height, physical features, or career path) is what's keeping you alone and lonely.
Take the pressure off and explore all your options. I'm not telling you to stop popping the balloon on the guy who earns $20,000 less than you if that's a hard no that Jesus himself told you to skip. I'm asking you to explore other options and see what else God might have out there for your love journey.
14. Immediately apologize and pray together.
I've learned that always being "right" isn't always ideal when you truly care about someone and you're in a relationship for the long haul. Defaulting to an apology when necessary, even when things aren't 100% resolved, is a good way to prioritize peace and save your energy for more worthwhile battles. Research has even supported the benefits of apologies in relationships, and how couples married for five or more years do it often.
15. Get a Rose and discover true self-love.
Do I really have to explain this? You've gotta know what satisfies you, and how better to figure that out than to practice self-love in the bed by yourself? You can also try this with a partner, but as a woman who got on this train very much later in my sexual activity journey. I have a lot more learning to do on my own, and even in a satisfying relationship, I like to find out new things about myself, by myself.
Figure out what you're into, watch what you want to watch, and read what you want to read to define pleasure for yourself. There's a freedom and empowering element there especially if you're used to prioritizing pleasing your partner.
16. Be direct and have the "money talk" with bae.
Money issues are one of the leading causes of divorce, so you need to have those conversations before you even think about marrying someone. And true, nobody can predict the future so you won't be able to avoid some challenges altogether, however, talking with your potential spouse about how they view money, their spending habits, and the pain points in terms of their approach to money management can at least give you a glimpse into what's in store if you do walk down the aisle, move in with them, or decide to share a bank account/business/child with them.
17. Invest in the "paid" version of that dating app.
I know plenty of successful, married folk who did this and met "the one" as a result. Let's be honest: The free version is for playing around. I had a lot of fun with my "free" profile back in the day, trust me. Upgrade that photo, profile, and package, and see if the quality of your dating adventures changes when you're serious about finding a true partner. Dating coaches and matchmakers cosign this.
18. Solo travel to meet that long-distance connection.
Sometimes, your perfect match isn't within 100 miles of you, and that's okay. Make it an adventure, enjoy the memories, and book that ticket. I met my man this way and it's been a whirlwind escape ever since. If you're not comfortable traveling solo, travel or (network to plan travel) with a group via Facebook.
Career And Business
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19. Schedule coffee or virtual meetups with smart people from your graduating class, previous employer, or current employer.
I have gotten many freelance opportunities by doing this. It's as simple as connecting and offering value (or simply learning how you can better equip yourself to do so.) It's also a great way to expand your network, spark new friendships, or find out about new job opportunities.
20. Invest in a well-made suit.
I don't care what industry you're in, a suit says "power," and it's not as old-school or out-of-style as you'd think. Plus the whole experience of looking for a new one (or getting one tailored) is fun and affirming. Try these options. I swear, anytime I wear a blazer, I'm treated like a celebrity or boss, especially when traveling. I was once upgraded to first-class wearing a yellow blazer outfit, and the airline professional literally said, "You look like somebody important. Here you go."
21. Volunteer for a worthwhile project or cause that's important to your company.
If you're overworked and underappreciated, skip this one, but if you truly have the time, love what you do, and want to advance, this move is clutch. Volunteering for extra projects got me where I am today in media because I had foresight, and knew that was the only way at the time to leverage relationships, and I was able to challenge myself to learn skills that 20 years later are still bankable. That VP you can't get a meeting with will be at that gala your company is planning, so join that committee, sis.
22. Write down why you deserve a raise and ask for it in your next one-on-one.
Gather those receipts (ie sales increase numbers, KPIs met, deals closed, people acquired via recruitment, the impact of systems updates, or other tangible success metrics) and ask for that raise before the first or second-quarter budgets are being finalized.
23. Instead of quitting, write down your exit plan.
While revenge quitting is set to be a thing next year (and maybe you're among those who will be leading the trend), try the better boss move and quit with a real plan.
24. Start automatically separating that estimated self-employed quarterly tax estimate.
If you have side hustles (or you're collecting 1099 income,) baby, you do not want to neglect those quarter tax payments. Talk to a professional, do your research, and set up automatic transfers to an account specifically for paying these at the appropriate due dates.
25. Sign up for a free one- to 11-week course related to your industry—or the industry you want to be in next year.
Institutions like Harvard University and platforms like Coursera offer free courses that can enhance your skills. You can also invest in certificate courses with accredited colleges as well as tech training.
26. Hit "Easy Apply" for 10 dream jobs listed on LinkedIn.
While you shouldn't solely rely on this when actively job-seeking, using this convenient LinkedIn option is a great way to get into the habit of applying for positions. And if you're already employed, you should still be "dating" other employers if you're looking to make a move in the next six months. Keep your interview skills sharp, practice toughening up for the "nos," and get a bit of an ego boost in the process.
Self-Care And Wellness
27. Pre-schedule three month's worth of massages.
Oftentimes this is cost-effective since some spas offer deals for multiple bookings. Also, it makes an act of self-care deliberate and important, not an option. When you get that reminder call, you'll know it's real.
28. Fire that therapist and try another one.
Cultural competency in mental health support is one major problem that can hinder Black women from even bothering with therapy. And who wants the added stress of spending multiple, paid sessions explaining why something is a microaggression? Cut the cord and move on to try someone else, either via a Black women therapists channel or recommendations from others.
29. Join a small group at church.
Bedside service ain't gonna cut it and neither is going to the usual Sunday service. Join a smaller group and upgrade your efforts to connect, network, and elevate spiritually. Even if virtually, take a step to dig a bit deeper with more targeted Bible study and discussions.
30. Say no, even to loved ones.
This is on here twice, for a reason. Saying no is the simplest, most powerful micro-action you can take today to make 2025 better. No explanations. No guilt. Say no.
31. Choose one "luxury" beauty product for skincare and stick to it.
This was trending big on social, especially for millennials hitting their 40s. There's just something so freeing about not giving in to every trend and sticking to the basics that work, especially when there are quality, healthy ingredients involved. Put those orders on auto-renew.
32. Sign up for a new sport or fitness class just for fun, not for results.
It's great to be on a weight-loss or weight-lifting journey, but try something just for the fun of it. Switch things up with a couple of these fitness activities.
33. Book a staycation.
Leave the passport at home and explore a nearby community or another town in your state. There's so much enrichment in your own backyard right here in the U.S., and you don't even have to break the bank.
34. Pre-schedule your mammograms, Pap smear, and peri-menopause checkups for next year.
Take control of your health by pre-scheduling essential appointments like mammograms, Pap smears, and peri-menopause check-ups for 2025. Prioritizing these screenings early ensures you stay on top of your wellness and make time for self-care in the new year.
35. Cut off support of beauty and wellness professionals whose customer service is below standard.
This is another one that many Black women have been vocal about—from unrealistic pre-appointment requirements, to booking fees, to long waits, to unsavory in-salon experiences. Spot the red flags early, and just stop accommodating foolishness. Support salons or experienced stylists who are kind, have proper systems in place and value your time.
36. Schedule five to 10-minute moments of silence on your calendar.
Again, wellness is not optional, and if it's not on my calendar, it's not official. Sit quietly. Pray. Meditate. Or do nothing. The benefits of silent moments are almost endless.
37. Download a meditation app.
If you've found that meditation is difficult to schedule or to even start, an app can help. Try this, this, or this one, and take that step to embrace something new to enhance your wellness routine. If you're tired of downloading apps, create a playlist for meditation via Amazon Music or Spotify and schedule a reminder to do it once a day or week.
38. Invest in a healthy meal prep or delivery service.
Time is emotionally expensive, so save as much of it as possible. Getting into meal prep to keep to your goals is a great way to save time, stress, and effort. The health benefits of meal prepping have also been proven via research.
39. Create a positive playlist on Spotify, Amazon Music, YouTube, or other streaming platform.
It can be podcasts, music, affirmations, or somatic sounds. It's a game-changer. You can even set an alarm to wake you up to start your day with the positive playlist. Not into creating your own? There are plenty to choose from with a quick search.
40. Set up reminders for Alexa (Siri or other AI) to remind you, "You are loved," and "You are okay."
This simple effort can boost your endorphins and remind you that you're indeed, not alone, and you will be okay, regardless. To set mine up, I simply commanded, "Alexa, remind me everyday 'Jesus loves me,'" and like clockwork she does. She almost scared the ish out of me one day when I'd forgotten the reminder was active, but it was the reminder I needed when anxiety had gotten the best of me that week.
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Either way, we’re breaking down how to harness the alluring black cat energy to attract and cultivate your purrrfect match, or how to deepen your current relationship.
What is Black Cat Energy?
Black cat energy has made a splash all over TikTok since 2021 where users have popularized “the black cat/golden retriever” theory based on the notorious attributes of felines and pups.
Pet owners and those who have had the pleasure of engaging with furry friends know that cats tend to have personality traits of being more independent, cautious, and unbothered until they develop a relationship with you – then you’ll be graced with their loveable side – whereas dogs, much like golden retrievers, are often overly excited to see you, bursting with happy energy, and seeking your affection, even if they just met you.
Black cats especially possess an elusive, regal, and pompous vibe that makes them irresistible. You can’t simply win these mysterious creatures over with your mere presence. You’ll have to earn their affection.
And if by a stroke of luck, they open up to you, they’ll always keep you wanting more of them. That same je ne sais quoi is what TikTokers are raving about, claiming that if you channel black cat energy into your love life, you’ll summon the person of your dreams and make them fall in love with every part of you.
What’s more, according to The Spruce Pets, single women in Japan who own black cats are believed to attract more suitors. In parts of Great Britain, a black cat is the quintessential wedding gift because they’re believed to bring good luck and happiness to the bride.
Why the Black Cat/Golden Retriever Dynamic Works
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Anyone can be the black cat or the golden retriever in the relationship, but TikTokers and some relationship experts say the best way to ensure long-lasting compatibility is for the woman to be the black cat, while the man exudes golden retriever tendencies.
Dating coach Anwar White solidifies finding the yin to your yang, instructing women to find their complement. “Most people look to date their clone and you’re going to need to date looking for your compliment – that is what is going to bring you the most success.”
In the 14 years he’s been a dating coach, he shared the best complementary personalities that make for a good match. “If you’re a type A, boss babe, you’re going to be looking for the optimistic golden retriever guy. This is the guy that wants to get done whatever you want to get done. This is the engineer, the federal employee, or an architect. It’s very much black cat/golden retriever vibes.”
No matter what stage you’re at in your love life, it’s never too late to transition from subservient golden retriever to omnipotent black cat.
TikToker @jaclyn.dasilva explains that she used to be in her golden retriever energy in her marriage – catering to her husband, and what he needed and liked until she learned how to epitomize the black cat energy.
“We have this beautiful energy as women. When we learn to put all that beautiful, nurturing energy into ourselves that is when they want us. That is when they chase us. Now I think about what I want to eat. What do I want to drink? What book do I want to read? And I put my energy into myself.”
She continues, “And now he’s the one chasing me. He’s the one who can’t get enough of me. When we see ourselves as the prize, that is when he sees us as the prize. Stop chasing him. Let him chase you. Be about you, he’ll be about you.”
How To Embody The Black Cat Principles In Your Dating Life
Dating and maintaining a flourishing relationship in today’s technology-driven world is no easy feat. We have abundantly more access to swipe right or left on apps, or serendipitously meet a great catch in person than our parents and grandparent’s generations.
And yet, with all the potential options, somehow it seems more difficult to stumble across Mr. or Mrs. Right or to maintain a long-term symbiotic relationship. Fortunately navigating dating and relationships becomes easier when you know exactly who you are–your different quirks, flaws, and assets–and when you keenly understand the little things that titillate your world and accept the nuances and icks of a person that you know are not aligned with you.
A woman relishing in her black cat energy and femininity knows exactly what she wants and needs and doesn’t detour from who she is for anyone. These are the qualities of black cat women:
High Standards
Nothing says you’re the main character or HBIC like flaunting high standards and sticking to them.
TikToker Anna Kristina, the self-proclaimed creator of the "black cat theory" shared how to become the ultimate black cat and have men eating from the palm of your hand. “You have to be inconvenient. You have to be bitchy. You have to have standards and certain expectations. The higher the expectations, and the more unrealistic, the better.”
Elusiveness
Relationship TikToker Tomisin Atobatele offers women insights into the essence of being elusive. "I want you to stop being eager to tell men everything you’re thinking and feeling, and especially tell men exactly what you desire. If a guy asks you what you want out of a guy, or what you’re looking for, I want you to be vague…When you’re vague, and someone’s interested in you, it forces them to do work in order to get those answers.”
"And just that fast, you’ve created a scenario where he’s thinking about you," he added. "He’s thinking about your needs. He’s thinking about your wants and desires. And in the process of him thinking about your wants and desires, his focus is on you.”
Firm Boundary Setter
Self-preservation, respect, and overall happiness stem from healthy boundaries. A woman basking in black cat energy knows exactly when and how to implement boundaries. Black cats have boundaries. They will let you know when they are done getting petted," said TikToker Marian Bacol.
“They will let you know when they want to give you attention. They will stare you down if they are done with you. They are clear on their boundaries and they’re not afraid to enforce it. They don’t give love and affection to anyone and everyone the way that dogs do. Cats are more selective and that’s how you have to be with your energy.”
Unapologetically Authentic
A sure way to have a man perpetually falling for you is to be authentically you without changing who you are, solely for him.
“If you want him to chase you as opposed to you chasing him, you need to remember this one thing…whatever attributes you have: your style, your hair color, your whatever you’ve got going on – you don’t change for him," said life coach Margarita Nazarenko. "The black cat would never change for a man and that’s what’s going to make him chase you.”
She cements the rule with an analogy: “The rule is: if you make the best chocolate cake and he likes apple pie, make him the best chocolate cake, not a sub apple pie.”
Famous Couples That Successfully Personify Black Cat/Golden Retriever Energy
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These power couples prove why women who helm their black cat energy make their men swoon:
Rihanna & ASAP Rocky
"[The relationship] is going great. I don’t think there’s a more perfect person because when the schedules are hectic, she’s very understanding of that," A$AP Rocky told Billboard about his relationship with Rihanna. "And when the schedule’s freed up, that’s when you get to spend [the] most time together. It’s all understanding and compatibility.
Ashanti & Nelly
Lauren Speed Hamilton & Cameron Hamilton
Lauren Speed Hamilton and Cameron Hamilton are proof positive of the Love Is Blind concept. More recently, the married couple got real on their podcast about the struggles of expanding their family through fertility treatments. "When I saw what you were going through, terms of taking the medications, doing the daily shots, knowing that IVF and all this stuff wasn't really something that you naturally wanted to do but you did it for me," Cameron shared in episode 2 of The Love Seat podcast with Lauren, his voice beginning to crack.
"You showed me a new level of love that I'd never seen before."
Kristy Scott & Desmond Scott
Zendaya & Tom Holland
"You can’t really find anything against Zendaya, she’s kind of like the perfect person," Tom Holland shared about girlfriend Zendaya in a 2021 interview with Backstage. "It was so wonderful to have someone like her in my corner, to help me grow through that process … Having her as a friend has been so valuable to the success and happiness of my career and life."
Gabrielle Union & Dwyane Wade
Ciara & Russell Wilson
"For me, I knew that God had brought me in her life to bless her and for her to bless me," Russell Wilson told Access Hollywood about wife Ciara.
Serena Williams & Alexis Ohanian
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