

Although I’m going to forever be the woman who thinks that ladies should never be ashamed of their age — because aging is a beautiful thing as well as a blessing — that doesn’t mean I think that we should be out here just letting ourselves go. The reality is, that we can tell the truth about our birthdays and still earn a ton of compliments about how good we look on each and every one of them when we are aware of the many ways to slow down the physical appearance of aging.
By factoring in things like eating healthy, drinking less alcohol, exercising, not using beauty products that contain harsh chemicals, and keeping stress down to a minimum, you are playing a significant role in keeping your skin (and hair) looking younger than it actually may be.
Today, to go along with those things, I’ve provided 12 other tips that can help slow down the aging process as far as how you look goes. The cool thing about all of them is they are all-natural, easy to implement, and have been proven to be effective.
1. Eat Some Broccoli and Cauliflower
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As I was doing a bit of research for this article, my 'something new' was learning that the Latin word cruciferae means “cross bearing;" apparently, it’s because many “mustard-related” veggies have four petals that resemble a cross (interesting). Ironically enough, if you want to keep your skin looking youthful and healthy, cruciferous vegetables can be its (pardon the pun) saving grace. Not only do veggies like broccoli, cauliflower, and arugula help to restore some of the immunity that declines as we get older, they can help to lower the risk of a breast cancer diagnosis.
Also, because they are loaded with vitamin C, the collagen that’s in that particular nutrient can help to reduce the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles too.
2. Consume More Fatty Acids
A simple explanation of fatty acids is they’re the kind of fats that are actually good for you, especially as far as your heart is concerned. The reason why your skin and hair like them so much is because they contain properties that help to protect them both from UV damage, they can keep your skin and hair hydrated and, when it comes to your hair, specifically, fatty acids are able to help to prevent hair loss (something that can become an issue as you get older).
Another cool thing about fatty acids is they have the ability to keep the surface layers of your skin looking smooth and even. One way to get fatty acids into your system is to take an omega supplement or fish oil supplement. Another option is to consume foods that are loaded with them. Some of those include salmon, chia seeds, pasture-raised eggs, spinach and anchovies.
3. Create an Essential Oil Blend
Any time that I’m given the opportunity to shout out some type of essential oil, you can absolutely believe that I am going to do it. Today, since the focus is slowing down the appearance of aging, I’m going to share a few that can help you out in that department. One that I like a lot is rosemary oil. To me, it provides a radiant glow without a (super) oily residue. Beyond that, it also helps to fight off the kind of free radicals that can lead to cellular damage and make your skin look older than it actually is.
Sandalwood oil is another great option; that’s because it contains properties that can help to smooth out the appearance of fine lines. Another essential oil to consider is neroli; it’s been known to help with cell renewal (so that your skin loses more dead skin cells; frankincense can do this as well). Add one or all of these to a carrier oil (to dilute the potency in them), and you’ll have a great moisturizer to put on your skin before turning in at night.
4. Bathe in Milk
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Although I can’t tell you the last time that I drank a cup of milk (I’m more of an oat milk gal, myself), if there’s one thing that I will do, with the quickness, is hop into a tub that is filled with some dairy milk in it. Why? Well, between the vitamins A and D along with the lauric acid that’s in it, milk is awesome when it comes to gently exfoliating your skin, deeply moisturizing it, and reducing skin inflammation.
In fact, if you’ve been looking for a chemical-free type of skin cleanser, some skin experts say that washing your face in milk can be just as (if not more) effective than many popular skincare products. Oh, and while we’re on the topic, when it comes to your hair, milk can also reduce dryness, heal dandruff, and reduce split ends. Yep, cosmetically, milk totally has your back in a myriad of different ways.
5. DIY a Blend of Shea Butter and Aloe Vera
If you’ve ever looked at (eh hem) certain other folks and wondered why some of them look twice their age, a big part of it is because, if they’ve spent years in the sun and didn’t protect their skin in the process, the UV rays have damaged it. Photoaging is one term for it and it can lead to things like wrinkles, hyperpigmentation, and a loss of skin’s elasticity. And while it is indeed true that the extra melanin in our skin helps to slow down the aging process, never fall for the okey-doke that you don’t need sunscreen as well.
That said if you’d prefer an all-natural DIY alternative, mix some shea butter and pure organic aloe vera gel together. Not only will shea butter help to protect your skin from the damage that the sun can do, but it will also moisturize it and protect it from cellular damage; plus, it’s rich in vitamins A and E. As far as aloe vera gel goes, it will deeply hydrate your skin, work to prevent sun damage from happening in the first place and, if you happen to have eczema or psoriasis, it can reduce inflammation and irritation that spending time in the sun may trigger too.
6. Drink Some Black Tea
If you’re a tea drinker, the fact that black tea can help you to live longer (by reducing your risk for heart disease and a stroke), is already enough of a reason to drink it on a consistent basis. However, as far as slowing down the signs of aging goes, another dope thing about black tea is it contains antioxidants that can protect your skin from sun damage from the inside out. Plus, the polyphenols in them (which are basically organic compounds) can help to slow down the development of fine lines and wrinkles, slow down the gene that slows down the production of collagen in your system and, black tea is good at strengthening your hair over time as well.
7. Watch Those Straws
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OK, so last year, Allure published an article entitled, “Is Your Stanley Tumbler Changing Your Face?” Guess what the answer was? Basically, yes. Not if you suck on a straw every once in a while, but if you’re doing it constantly, you are very much so on your way to having more fine lines around your mouth than you probably would like. Now, is there some type of a workaround? Apparently, there are some anti-wrinkle straws that are making their way into the marketplace space; however, being intentional about not pursing your lips together so much and also making sure that the skin around the outside of your lips is well-moisturized at all times? Those hacks also can come in pretty handy.
8. Exfoliate Your Hands and Your Neck
This point, I’ve stated before. Y’all, even before I reached the age that it personally mattered, if there was one thing that irked me to no end, it was seeing a woman whose face looked one age while her neck looked another. SMDH. Listen, it doesn’t matter how much you try, and conceal your actual years on this planet if you’re overlooking the needs of your neck and hands while doing it. Why? Well, if two things are gonna “tell on you,” they would be it. That’s why, aside from (of course) washing and moisturizing those parts of your body, it’s also important that you exfoliate them too.
When it comes to your neck, some dermatologists recommend doing the exfoliation process with a product that contains alpha-hydroxy acid. Another option is to exfoliate your neck and hands with an all-natural body scrub that’s made from fruit (some recipes are here); ones like strawberries contain a “grit” that can help to remove dead skin while the antioxidants in them will help to give your skin a healthy glow.
9. Scrub Your Scalp
A part of the reason why I wrote the article, “10 Things Your Scalp Has BEEN Waiting For You To Do,” for the platform is because if there’s one part of our body that tends to not get the kind of pampering and care that it deserves, it’s our scalp. And, as far as TLC goes, one thing that is an absolute must is exfoliation on wash days. Not only will it help to break up dandruff flakes and get rid of dry skin that may cause itchiness and irritation, but scalp exfoliation is also great for your hair overall. For one thing, it helps to remove any build-up that could be clogging your hair follicles, and it helps to reduce stress so that your hair can grow healthy and strong (which is always a plus as you get older).
10. Apply Horsetail Plant Oil
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Speaking of hair, since it’s been reported that more than half of women over 50 will experience some level of at least semi-noticeable hair thinning or hair loss, in part due to the changes that come along with perimenopause and menopause, horsetail plant oil is something else that you might want to keep in your possession. The silicon and antioxidants in the oil will help to prevent hair thinning and the phenolic compounds in it will help to keep oxidative stress and damage at bay.
11. Deep Breathe
As far as your health is concerned, you may have already heard or read somewhere that deep breathing can help to reduce stress (and since a lot of serious health issues are directly tied to stress, that’s a good thing to keep in mind). However, did you also know that since deep breathing can make you calmer, that can ultimately help your body to produce more collagen which, in turn, can help you to look youthful? Yep, by devoting just five minutes, twice a day, to deeply inhale and exhale, you can get anxiety off your back while also bringing more oxygen to your skin, which helps with cell renewal and rejuvenation.
12. Sleep on Your Back
And finally, how do you sleep? Is it on your stomach? On your side? Or on your back? If the answer is “C,” even if you’re just doing it for comfort’s sake, you are actually benefitting your health on a few different levels. Sleeping on your back helps you to breathe better, can help to clear up sinus, headache, neck, and back tension; and, because your face is not rubbing against your pillow and sheets all night long, it just might reduce the chances of you experiencing breakouts too. Also, as far as aging goes, since moving around on your bedding can also create friction on your skin that can ultimately result in fine lines — well, that’s just one more reason to consider sleeping on your back, at least a couple of times a week.
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See, I told you. By just making a few minor adjustments to your lifestyle (and doing them consistently), you can be well on your way to being one age and looking another. Try these and tell me it ain’t so!
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'Sistas' Star Skyh Black On The Power Of Hypnotherapy & Emotional Vulnerability For Men
In this insightful episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Sistas star Skyh Black, as he opened up about his journey of emotional growth, resilience, and self-discovery. The episode touches on emotional availability, self-worth, masculinity, and the importance of therapy in overcoming personal struggles.
Skyh Black on Emotional Availability & Love
On Emotional Availability & Vulnerability
“My wife and I wouldn't be where we are today if both of us weren't emotionally available,” he shared about his wife and Sistas co-star KJ Smith, highlighting the value of vulnerability and emotional openness in a relationship. His approach to masculinity stands in contrast to the traditional, stoic ideals. Skyh is not afraid to embrace softness as part of his emotional expression.
On Overcoming Self-Doubt & Worthiness Issues
Skyh reflected on the self-doubt and worthiness issues that he struggled with, especially early in his career. He opens up about his time in Los Angeles, living what he calls the “LA struggle story”—in a one-bedroom with three roommates—and being homeless three times over the span of 16 years. “I always had this self-sabotaging thought process,” Skyh said. “For me, I feel therapy is essential, period. I have a regular therapist and I go to a hypnotherapist.”
How Therapy Helped Him Heal From Self-Doubt
On Hypnotherapy & Empowering Self-Acceptance
Skyh’s journey is a testament to the power of tapping into self-development despite life’s struggles and being open to growth. “I had to submit to the fact that God was doing good in my life, and that I'm worthy of it. I had a worthiness issue and I did not realize that. So, that’s what the hypnotherapy did. It brought me back to the core. What is wrong so that I can fix it?”
Watch the full podcast episode below:
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Pack A Travel Case With These 12 Items For Amazing 'Summer Vacation Sex'
It’s kind of funny that while I’m literally in the process of writing this article, the Los Angeles Times published “How to get lucky on your family vacation” hours prior. LOL. Although this year marks a bit of a dip in the amount of Americans who plan on taking a summer vacation (because this administration ain’t making coin-keeping easy, y’all) — it’s still being reported that around 53 percent will do so in the name of rest, relaxation and spending quality time with their loved ones.
And for many, the loved ones category absolutely includes their bae. And if that is the case, that probably means that sex is somewhere on the menu.
Yep. I actually read one survey (that consisted of 2,000 people) that said folks tend to have twice as much sex while they are on vacation than they do when they’re at home. It makes sense too when you factor in that you have less to do (unless you’re traveling with those folks who act like you need an itinerary for every damn thing — and we all know one…SMDH), which makes you less stressed out, which makes it easier to feel sexy and to want to get sexual.
And so, in the spirit of that indeed being the case, I want to make sure that you carve out a corner of your suitcase or carry-on to include at least half of the following 12 things that are on this list — things that can help to make “summer vacation sex”…that much hotter, y’all.
1. Edible-Grade Sunscreen
It can’t be said enough that, no matter how melanated you may be, your skin needs sunscreen. Not only to protect yourself from the risk of skin cancer (which 1 in 5 Americans will get in their lifetime) but from premature aging that can come from sun damage too. That said, if the urge arises to have sex outside somewhere, I did find some edible-grade sunscreen, in case you’re either worried about what sex in the sun will do to your skin or how all of the chemicals in sunscreen will affect your (digestive) system. The company is called Sky & Sol and you can read up on them here.
2. Flavored Lip Balm
If you’ve ever wondered why your lips are so susceptible to being chapped, it’s because they don’t contain any oil glans to keep them moisturized. This is especially important to keep in mind when the weather is extremely cold or hot because that can do a real number on the sensitive skin that your lips are made out of. That’s why it’s essential to stay well-hydrated and to also keep some lip balm in tow. Lip balm is especially designed to moisturize your lips, reduce chapping, exfoliate, soothe irritation and protect your lips from UV damage. As a bonus, lip balm will also help to keep your lips super soft and kissable; especially if you get the flavored kind. #wink
3. Condoms
I’m still out here, literally shaking my damn head, that reportedly, only one-third of men and one-fourth of women use condoms (and even many of those folks don’t do it consistently). It can’t be said enough that if you’re not in a monogamous (married) or exclusive (dating) relationship where you both are getting regularly tested and are on some other form of birth control (unless you want to get pregnant) — you absolutely should be using condoms and, as a woman, you should not solely rely on your partner to have some that are ready and available.
Not just because you should be responsible for your body and health but because not all condoms are made equal, so you should bring along some that you prefer/enjoy. If you’d like a lil’ help picking those out, check out “These Are The Kinds Of Condoms Your Vagina Would Actually Prefer.”
4. Crotchless Swimsuit
Packing some sexy lingerie? I certainly hope that goes without saying. If you’ve got a hot tub around, though and you want to “get it in” without getting totally naked (so that nosey people won’t see every damn thing), you do know that there are some crotchless swimsuits out in these streets, right? An example of one is here. Of course, you can always do what Beyoncé said in “Drunk in Love” and just move ish over to the side but…I’m just giving you another creative option…if you wanted one.
5. Blindfolds
If you’d like to cultivate an atmosphere of mystery or anticipation, a simple blindfold will do the trick. There is another reason why I think they are great for summer vacation (sex) trips, though — if your hotel room doesn’t come with blackout curtains and you want to have a quickie or two without the room being so bright, putting on a blindfold can solve that “problem” too.
6. Waterproof Sex Toys
Who said that you have to wait until you get to your hotel room to engage in some foreplay? If you bring a couple of sex toys around, you can tease each other practically anywhere — and if they are waterproof, that includes in the ocean or pool. Some, you can pair up with your smartphone in order to stimulate your partner from just about anywhere. Whew, chile.
7. Homemade Sex Toys Too
Speaking of sex toys, you’d probably be amazed at how many things in your house can double up as one. A spatula or wooden spoon is great for spanking. A necktie, some tights and a pair of clothespins work well for BDSM (use your imagination, sis). An electronic toothbrush is its own vibrator. A string of (lubricated) pearls in between your thighs? Girrrl…GIRL. Oh, and cop a silicone ice tray that comes in different shapes.
When you are rubbing ice in the shape of fruit, flowers or even animals over each other’s bodies, you’ll be surprised by how the combination of the cold with the texture of the space of the ice will stimulate you (make the ice out of juice instead of water for an extra sweet treat!).
8. Portable Charger
I don’t know what took me so long to get a damn portable charger but it’s one of the best things that ever happened to me. What I personally purchased is the ANKER Zolo Power Bank, 20,000mAh 30W High-Speed Portable Charger. I can throw it in my purse, it charges fast, I can use more than once before needing to recharge it; plus, it complements most devices. A great thing to keep in mind, so that your sex toys don’t end up going out on you while you’re…wherever you are.
9. Massage Oil Candle
Going through security at the airport can be a HEADACHE. And while, how long it can take, oftentimes varies on the airport you’re at and the time you are traveling (you can read more about that here), the process is going to be especially annoying if they have to go through your bags. Since you can currently only pack a quarter-sized bag of liquid products on your carry-on, my two cents would be to leave the massage oil at home and pack a massage oil candle instead.
That way, you can still engage in some temperature play (check out “Hot Sex: 10 Super Sultry Reasons To Bring Wax Play Into Your Bedroom”) while you’re on the road without going through any security hassle hang-ups. Some edible massage oil candles are located right here.
10. Wine Cooler Sleeve
Say that you end up going on a wine tasting tour while you’re on vacation and you end up purchasing a bottle or you simply want to toast with some champagne but you’re not sure how to store the bottle. Did you know that there are wine cooler sleeves that are lightweight, portable and will help to keep your bottles cold without condensation for hours on end? A brand that comes highly recommended is here.
11. Rose Petals
I think there are a few reasons why rose petals are oftentimes used to create a sexy mood. Red symbolizes love and passion. Rose petals are soft to the touch. The scent of them is considered to be an aphrodisiac as well. For all of these reasons, bring along some fresh rose petals for your hotel bed. If you put a damp paper towel in something like a small Tupperware container and then place the rose petals inside of that, they won’t dry out quickly which will make them feel great once you’re ready to start rolling around in them (you can also keep them in your hotel room’s fridge to further extend their shelf life).
12. Mints
Morning sex. Outdoor sex. Whatever kind of sex — it’s always going to be better when your breath and his smell good. And just so you don’t have to lug around a big bottle of mouthwash, pack some mints. Altoids are always going to be my number one draft pick — yet go with whatever are your personal faves. They’re the perfect hack for unbelievable summer vacation sex. Wouldn’t you agree? Enjoy!
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