

What good modern-day love story doesn't begin with a slide in the DMs? In the 99's and 2000's, online dating may have been reserved for thrill-seekers and hopeless romantics, but now, dating apps like Tinder and Bumble have made your local dating pool much more accessible to people from all walks of life.
We've come a long way from the days of eharmony and Black Planet, and recently one social media giant stepped into the romance industry and promises to make finding love easier than ever.
Facebook
Last year, Tinder had an estimated 3.8 million users worldwide, which indicates that people from all walks of life are looking for love, but have we been swiping in the wrong places? While in the past, we may have been limited to carefully curated profile images and brief bios that are vastly ineffective in giving us the deets on potential suitors, Facebook's new dating feature wants to change that.
For women who, like me, are tired of pulling up at Applebee's hoping the man you met online isn't a catfishing serial killer who came to kidnap you and harvest your organs, Facebook Dating claims to be the answer to your romantic needs in a more personal way. The social media platform's new dating service, which was announced last year, has already been released in Argentina, Canada, Chile, Mexico, Singapore, Thailand, Vietnam, and as of last Thursday, the United States.
While there is no "swipe left, or right" option, people who use apps like Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge will find some similarities that will make Facebook Dating much easier to navigate, but there are a few key differences that differentiate the app from others on the market.
Facebook Dating, unlike other apps, gives users the opportunity to match with other singles based on location, but Facebook activity, like interests, events, and groups and offers a "Secret Crush" feature where you can select up to nine Facebook friends who you have a crush on without them knowing. The service acts as an app within an app that can be accessed in the tabs in your menu bar and has a number of safety features that will protect your privacy at all costs.
Although looking for romance online may be intimidating, Facebook's new feature may be your chance to dip your toe in the digital dating pool. Computer love isn't for everyone, but a lot of people who say that just aren't doing it right. It's reported that today, almost one-third of marrying couples met online, proving that your soulmate may just be swipe away. I can say without shame that pretty much every date I've been on in the past two years has been a result of online dating.
Some were good and most were bad, but there were a number of tips I picked up along the way. While Facebook Dating hasn't launched in every state just yet, I have a few tips and tricks to get you prepared. As a certified single and dedicated swiper, I've compiled a list of digital dating tips that you'll want to carry with you on this new and exciting journey:
Connect On Social Media
This tip will become less and less necessary thanks to Facebook Dating, but nevertheless, it's never a bad idea to get to know someone before you link up, and what better way to do that than lurking on their social media profiles? In my opinion, a person's social media presence can tell you things about them that they won't always verbalize.
Pro-Tip: Don't be weird about it. Be forthcoming about your lurking and allow him that same courtesy. Try to avoid jumping to conclusions before consulting with him about your findings.
Set Deal Breakers
One of the most horrible bosses I've ever had was also one of the wisest business women I've ever met. She told me to "set my non-negotiables", and this advice has proved to be more than effective in my romantic life. "Nah" is a whole sentence and that also has to be your mentality when choosing a potential suitor. Choosing 3-5 non-negotiable deal-breakers is an amazing way to narrow down your matches when seeking Mr. Right (or Mr. Right For Now).
Slow Down, Sis
I know your biological clock is ticking and you don't have time to waste, but when it comes to online dating, rushing things is a surefire way to create a toxic environment in your newfound relationship. Before you consider meeting up with a match, Facetime, talk on the phone, ask a few hard questions, because there's nothing worse than spending an hour alone with someone you have nothing in common with but mutual physical attraction.
Featured image by Giphy.
- Facebook dating service: How it works ›
- Facebook Dating has launched in the United States - The Verge ›
- Facebook Dating will come to the U.S. in 2019 ›
- Facebook Dating's “Secret Crush” feature will probably be chaos - Vox ›
- Facebook Dating opens to friends with Secret Crush | TechCrunch ›
- It's Facebook Official, Dating Is Here | Facebook Newsroom ›
- Facebook Dating Is Rolling Out. Here's How It Differs From Tinder ... ›
Laterras R. Whitfield On What He Wants In A 'Future Wifey' & Redefining Masculinity
In this week's episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker chopped it up with Laterras R. Whitfield, host of the Dear Future Wifey podcast, for a raw and revealing conversation about personal growth, faith, and the search for love in a way that resonates.
Laterras Whitfield Believes Men Should Pursue, Not Persuade
“Let me know you exist, and I’ll do the rest”
Whitfield is a big advocate of a man’s role in going confidently for the woman he wants. “Men should pursue, not persuade, and women should present, not pursue,” he said. He’s open to meeting women on social media but isn’t a fan of bold approaches. “Don’t shoot your shot at me. … Let me know you exist, and I’ll do the rest.”
His ideal woman?
“She has to be a woman of God… I judge a woman by how her friends see her… and most importantly, how she treats my kids.”
Infidelity, Redemption, and the Power of Self-Control
“Being disciplined is the most beautiful thing you can offer”
Once unfaithful in his previous marriage, Whitfield has since transformed his perspective on masculinity. “Being disciplined is the most beautiful thing you can offer. That’s what true masculinity is to me now.” He has also committed to abstinence, choosing self-control as a defining trait of manhood.
Whitfield’s journey is one of redemption, purpose, and faith—something that speaks to women who value emotional intelligence, accountability, and the power of transformation.
Rewriting the Narrative Around Black Masculinity
What masculinity, legacy, and healing mean to Whitfield today
“My dad taught me what not to be [as a man] and my mom taught me what she needed [in a man],” Whitfield said. While his father wasn’t abusive, he wasn’t emotionally or affectionately present. “Since I didn’t see it, I never got it either… I would look at my dad and say, ‘I want to be a better father.’ ”
Adoption had always been on his spirit, influenced by TV shows like Different Strokes and Punky Brewster. This mindset led him to take in his nephew as his son after a powerful dream confirmed what he already felt in his heart.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
Featured image by xoNecole/YouTube
Meet The Founder Behind Ami Colé, The Brand Putting Black Beauty First
Here’s an indisputable fact: Black is beautiful. It always has been, and it always will be. No one understands this more than Diarrha N'Diaye-Mbaye.
As a little girl growing up in Harlem, New York, the Senegalese-American entrepreneur spent a lot of time in her mother’s hair salon watching the carousel of Black women that would come through the doors of the shop, and saw how beauty could be a communal experience.
As an adult, beauty would continue to occupy a significant portion of her life. “I worked in places like Temptu, L’Oreal, Glossier,” N’Diaye-Mbaye told xoNecole. But there was still a nagging feeling inside of her of wanting to capture the beauty she was exposed to in her mother’s shop as a child. “You know what? Lemme try this crazy thing,” she said.
Enter: Ami Colé.
Ami Colé Powder
Ami Colé is the makeup brand N’Diaye-Mbaye founded as an homage to both the Black women she was surrounded by in Harlem and her friends. “I wanted to create something simple that most of my girls were wearing and things that I saw growing up in Harlem,” she said.
While the industry has seen strides in inclusivity over the past few years, there’s been a dearth of products and cosmetic lines dedicated specifically to people with darker complexions, with Black women being left with little to no options for skin-matching coverage. With a boom in brands in recent years that have put Black beauty at the front and center of its mission like Range Beauty, The Lip Bar, and of course Rihanna’s Fenty Beauty, suddenly a new dilemma emerged for people like N’Diaye-Mbaye who wanted to launch their own makeup brands.
“It was very difficult not only to get access in terms of people answering your emails,” N’Diaye-Mbaye said of her early struggles in trying to get funding from financiers for Ami Colé. “People would say: ‘Well Rihanna has a brand, why would you need another brand?’”
It wasn’t until the racial reckoning of 2020, when N’Diaye-Mbaye said that investors became “a little bit more sensitive and sensitized to where they sit on the spectrum of equity,” that she was finally able to fully fund her company. N’Diaye-Mbaye officially launched Ami Colé in May 2021. Before launching, N’Diaye-Mbaye said that she surveyed Black women to see what customers wanted from a beauty brand.
“By the time we launched, we knew exactly what type of makeup look, makeup style this customer was going for,” she said. “We knew what shades she was using already and the new products she was missing or how to make her makeup routine just more simple.” In addition to their makeup products like the popular lip oil and foundationless base products, Ami Colé offers items like incense and N’Diaye-Mbaye said they’re even hoping to expand to fragrances in the near future. “We're always challenging ourselves to think about Ami Colé as a lifestyle,” she said.
“We're always challenging ourselves to think about Ami Colé as a lifestyle.”
In their first year of sales alone, Ami Colé brought in $2 million in revenue, proving that there is space for more than just one Black beauty brand to thrive. When I asked N’Diaye-Mbaye if she ever felt like giving up through the arduous process of trying to get her dream off the ground, she said: “My parents are from Senegal and came here with no playbook, no internet, no security. They were able to come here and kind of forge to this new chapter and era of our family and a generation.
"So, whenever I do feel discouraged – which happens a lot, I'm only human – I think back to what people before me had to do to make sure that I can even have the option or the blessing to even create my own plan. So I never quit."
Since the story first ran, Ami Colé launched in Sephora across North America, and BeautyMatter projects the brand will close 2025 with an expected revenue range of up to $10 million. The brand also made things official with L’Oréal’s BOLD fund in 2024, and even crowdsourced a "Brick Red" lip oil treatment earlier this year.
Featured image courtesy
Originally published on November 8, 2022