Don’t Sleep On LinkedIn
One of the keys to building a strong professional and personal brand is building genuine relationships. Whether you're hunting for a new job, trying to scale your business, grow your tribe, or build personal contacts of like-minded and similar-interested persons in your network - there's one social media platform you shouldn't overlook: LinkedIn.
Ever since I graduated college, LinkedIn has been my go-to social platform for connecting with other professionals. I even call it my "digital rolodex." By using it strategically, I've been able to convert online connections into real-life opportunities. This includes scoring brand partnerships for my podcast and landing high-profile press opportunities such as getting spotlighted on the Apple Podcasts homepage three times! However, my favorite part of using the platform is being able to find and connect with dope professional in industries I'm interested in and respect.
Here are some quick ways that you can make sure you're utilizing the power of LinkedIn to fuel your professional connections and network successfully.
1. Make sure you have a strong personal profile
If you're going to use LinkedIn consistently, making sure you have a strong and complete profile is necessary. Start by making sure you have a captivating and professional-looking headshot. (No cellphone selfies, please.) Then, take the time to craft an attention-grabbing headline that showcases who you are and what you do. Some opt to showcase their current role and company here, but you can also use this space to be creative with your answer to "Who are you?"
Then, go through your profile and fill out all the necessary sections including your work experience, education, volunteer work, skills, accomplishments, and interests. Be as thorough as possible, insert keywords, and include links that showcase your work portfolio. If possible, try to get others to leave recommendations that speak to your personality and work ethic, experience, etc. This part of your profile is a constant work-in-progress, but starting strong can help as your professional reach evolves.
2. Treat LinkedIn as your digital rolodex
In the sales world, a CRM is a customer relationship manager - or a tool that allows you to keep track of everyone in your sales funnel. I like to use LinkedIn in a similar fashion by keeping track of everyone that I've ever met professionally. It's a step in my personal follow-up routine, especially after attending meetings, conferences, or industry events. Depending upon who the person is, I'll send a detailed follow-up email and then send a personalized LinkedIn friend request. The standard LinkedIn request is not unique or compelling enough to make someone want to connect with you. Though you may remember who you're trying to connect with, the person may not remember you. My simple formula for is this:
"Greeting + why I'm interested in connecting + thanks!"
For example, if I meet a fellow writer at a local meetup, I'll usually send a follow up email and LinkedIn friend request that reads something like, "Hey, it was great meeting you at the NYC meetup. Let's keep in touch. I'd love to connect here on LinkedIn."
If you've never met the person you want to connect with, lead with your reason for connecting. "Hey XX, My name is Rana and I'm a fellow NYC writer. Would love to connect as there may be ways for us to be a resource to one another." Unprompted, random friend requests usually go unanswered or get declined.
3. Utilize the search feature
GiphyOne of the best features of LinkedIn is its search function. You have the ability to insert keywords and search for people, jobs, or content. When searching for people, my favorite combination is to use "company name + role." For example, when searching for a podcast executive at a big brand, I searched "head of podcasts + company name." The search resulted in a list of people at that company that had podcasts in their job title (past and present.) I was then able to scroll through this list to find the appropriate contact profile.
If you're hunting for a job, you can also input keywords such as desired role and location to search for a specific opening catered to your needs. LinkedIn also has a jobs tab that allows you to get ultra-specific with your job search terms. Take the time to explore the search features here. You'll also have access to see which of your connections currently work at said company. You can use this knowledge to message your connections to ask for referrals or get insight on the company and job listed.
In general, LinkedIn's search feature is a great way to view others' professional histories. I use it all the time to learn more people that I'm interviewing or meeting with. If you're going on a job interview, use it to get more insights on your interviewer's past or company that can help inform the questions you ask during the interview. With LinkedIn, you have no excuse as to why you shouldn't be prepared in these type of professional circumstances.
4. Become a thought leader
GiphyLinkedIn provides many ways to establish yourself as a professional thought leader by using your opinion to stand out and share value-added content to your connections. Unlike other social media platforms like Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook - LinkedIn is built solely for professional connections. If someone's on the platform, chances are they are looking for career, business, or professional inspiration.
Back in 2014, I was an early adopter to LinkedIn articles and enjoyed sharing content that related to my experience as a young professional. I realized the power of the platform when one of my articles "10 Ways To Rock Your Next Interview" went viral. From that article alone, I amassed thousands of followers who, to this day, engage with my posts and content because of the value I bring to their professional lives.
Interestingly, as you build your professional brand, others will likely be watching as well. I once reached out to a producer at Fox that I was connected with to learn more about her job responsibilities. She responded by letting me know I had been on her radar and she wanted to book me for a segment based off an article I wrote that I had previously shared!
5. Don’t be scared to take it to the DMs
GiphyOnce you've connected with someone - why not take it a step further? LinkedIn is the place to initiate business speak via a direct message. If you find someone that you want to connect with professionally, approaching via direct message should be straightforward and respectable. Chances are (and depending upon their profile), they are less likely to be inundated with messages and more likely to respond to your message.
Here's an example of a message I recently sent to a connection at a company I thought would be great to connect with:
Hi XX,
Hope all is well! My name is Rana and I'm the founder of Dreams In Drive - which is a community helping millennials learn how to take their dreams from PARK to DRIVE. I'd love to chat with you about possible ways to work together as there is a DEFINITE intersection between our missions. Do you have time for a quick 15 min call to talk more about this?!
-Rana
In this message, I stated who I was and why I wanted to connect and included a clear call to action. You can change up your approach, but always make sure your ASK is clear. Be as genuine as possible without appearing too needy or demanding.
With any social platform, it's all about how you use it. Each platform has its challenges and opportunities to win, but LinkedIn is one of my personal favorites for building and sustaining professional relationships. For all my girl bosses out there, if LinkedIn isn't part of your weekly social media must-dos, I highly recommend you add it to your list. The opportunities for expanding your professional reach and building your tribe are limitless.
Featured image by Getty Images
Related Stories
8 Mistakes You May Be Making On LinkedIn
The Introverted Girl's Guide To Networking
10 Ways To Develop An Entrepreneurial Mindset
- How to Use LinkedIn Effectively ›
- Five Networking Tips for LinkedIn - The Emily Post Institute, Inc. ›
- 29 LinkedIn Tips for Professional Networking, Business & Marketing ›
- How to Network on LinkedIn ›
- LinkedIn networking tips and tricks - Business Insider ›
- LinkedIn 201: How To Cultivate A Powerful Network ›
- Tips for Successfully Networking on LinkedIn ›
- These 10 LinkedIn Tips Will Make You a Networking Master ›
- Linkedin Networking Tips - The Muse ›
- 20 Critical Dos and Don'ts of LinkedIn Networking | Inc.com ›
Rana Campbell is a Princeton University graduate, storyteller, content marketing strategist, and the founder and host of Dreams In Drive - a weekly podcast that teaches you how to take your dreams from PARK to DRIVE. She loves teaching others how to use their life stories to inspire action within oneself and others. Connect with her on Instagram @rainshineluv or @dreamsindrive.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Do You Want To Be A Wife? Or Do You Just Want To Have A Wedding?
Even though it’s my life, sometimes I look at it and totally trip out over certain things.
For instance, even though I am aware that both Hebrew and African cultures put a lot of stock in the name of a child (because they believe it speaks to their purpose; so do I) and I know that my name is pretty much Hebrew for divine covenant, it’s still wild that in a couple of years, I will have been working with married couples for a whopping two decades — and boy, is it an honor when they will say something like, “Shellie, we’ve seen [professionally] multiple people and no one has been nearly as effective as you have been.”
Yep, me. Little ole’ never-been-married-before me. Yeah, y’all better quit letting people tell you what you’re called to do in this world. That is between you and the One who made you.
Okay, but let me stay on track. When it comes to the engaged couples specifically, who have crossed my path, something that I believe I’ve said to each and every one of them (especially the bride-to-be) is — “You better enjoy every single minute of your wedding day because you deserve a big ‘ole party for all of the work that you’re about to do.” And then I look at the woman as intensely as I can and say, “And you? Remember, you are a bride for a day. You are a wife for the rest of your life.”
Why do I emphasize that point so much? It’s because those two things are not one and the same. Hmph. Let me tell it, a huge reason why 70 percent of divorces are initiated by women, however, is because a lot of them think that it is. And so, in the effort to do my part to help make marriages last longer and cause the divorce rate to go down, I think it’s important for more women to ponder if they really want to be a wife — or if they just want to throw a big party (a wedding), go on a trip (a honeymoon) and not much more than that.
Buckle in. This one might be a bit of a ride (for some, at least).
It’s Time to Stop “Living for the Fairy Tale”
GiphyIf you’ve been reading my content for a while (and if so, thank you), it will not shock you in the least that I’ve spent many years studying the origins of things as they directly relate to marriage. I know that the engagement ring is not about love but about a jewelry company that was about to go bust. So, they came up with the slogan “A diamond is forever” and then made some serious bank from it (you can read about that here).
I know that white wedding dresses have nothing to do with purity and virtue; in fact, women in the Bible often wore lots of bright colors during their more-than-one-day wedding celebrations. Actually, white comes from Queen Victoria making it famous back in the 1840s. I also know that a lot of people were pretty obsessed with evil spirits back in the day because things like wearing a wedding veil and bridesmaids wearing the same dresses were all about hiding from said spirits. Another pretty popular wedding day tradition? Well, I’ll just let you read Insider’s “Here's the horrifying truth about why grooms carry brides across the threshold,” if you’re interested.
And as far as marriage goes, don’t even get me started on the whole “I’m living for the fairy tale” narrative that gets pushed incessantly. I’ve said in other articles before that "fairy tale" literally means “a story, usually for children, about elves, hobgoblins, dragons, fairies, or other magical creatures” and “an incredible or misleading statement, account, or belief.” Who wants to live for childish stories that are incredibly misleading? And the ones that have a character like Prince Charming in it? The Bible literally says that “charm is deceitful” (Proverbs 31:30).
Know what else the Bible says? It states that death and life are in the power of the tongue (Proverbs 18:21). So, what’s up with all of this wedding/marriage rhetoric that’s so popular and also, so… “silly” is the first word that comes to mind, “unrealistic” is the second and “unnecessary” is the third?
Why are there so many expectations, especially when it comes to the wedding day, that push folks to the point where a whopping 49 percent of couples end up going into debt right after jumping the broom — all because they wanted to live for the fairy tale and throw a big party that they basically couldn’t afford? SMDH.
It really is wild, just how much human nature tends to do things without even really knowing WHY it does it — even when it comes to marriage. And so, if you are someone who desires this type of union, be honest with yourself: what is your “why”?
When it comes to becoming a wife someday, WHY do you want to do that?
A man needing to spend three times his salary on an engagement ring, WHY?
When it comes to having a big traditional wedding, WHY is it necessary?
Marriage is a goal for you (and don’t get me wrong, marriage is a beautiful thing) — WHY is that the case?
When it comes to being married, WHY do you think it will better serve you than your single state?
Motivational speaker Eric Thomas once said, “When you find your ‘why’, you will find a way to make it happen.” And when it comes to something as big (and supposed to be lifetime lasting) as marriage, perhaps a big part of the reason WHY so many of them do not go the distance is because there aren’t enough “why” questions, on the front end, that are asked (which is why you should partake in premarital counseling before your wedding day). Oh, but there should be.
Because saying “why” you want a huge wedding is nothing more than “because I want to” or “why” you chose the man that you did is simply “I love him” — I’ve been doing this couples work thing long enough to assure you that those answers simply aren’t good enough. You need to know what it means to be a wife and why a marriage and a wedding are not the same thing…not by the longest country mile that you can imagine.
What It Means to Be a Wife
GiphyIf you’ve been reading my content for a while now, you know that I’m good for throwing some Scripture in; it’s a part of my foundation and I make no apologies for it. And so, when it comes to what it means to be a wife, the first word that’s used to define it in the Bible is “helpmate” (Genesis 2:18). A helpmate is a companion, a helper and someone who assists another individual — in this case, a husband.
While we’re here, a helper is not helping unless the help is actually needed and it’s good. Lawd, I can’t tell you how many wife clients I’ve had who have totally missed that part. So, what does “good help” look like?
- A good helper ASKS the person they are assisting what they need.
- A good helper does not try to control another person or make them do what they want.
- A good helper gets that needs can shift based on what is transpiring at any given time.
- A good helper makes things easier and less stressful.
- A good helper learns how to master good listening, effective communication, and wise timing.
And yes, in many ways, this is what it means to be a good wife. So, if you are someone who desires marriage, when it comes to what is required to be not just a wife but a GOOD WIFE, how much have you factored helping your man into the dynamic?
Not mothering him. Not bossing him around. Not trying to manipulate him into being a version of a husband that you would prefer. No, how much thought have you put into “Am I equipped to help another person be their best self? Am I ready to be supportive, encouraging, and nurturing? Was it even modeled to me, while growing up, to know what a proper helpmate looks like? Have I realized how much sacrifice goes into that type of role? Am I even selfless enough to be a consistent helper?”
I know this is probably gonna ruffle some feathers yet, you know something that I’m not big on? Women saying that their man should give them the “princess treatment.” Every time I hear that, the first thought that comes to my mind is “Fathers make their daughters princesses while men make their wives a queen” — and little girls are treated differently than grown women. And to that, Proverbs 12:4(NKJV) says, “An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones.”
My point? There is a MATURITY that is to come from going from princess to queen. A queen does have more privileges, yet, at the same time, she also has way more responsibility. It’s not about sitting around and being catered to all day long. Queens have work to do — and it’s not always comfortable or pretty. Same thing goes for being a wife.
Y’all, I could go on and on (and on and on and on) about what it means to be a wife in a marriage. For now, I’ll just end this part of the article with, “If you’re not ready to help, each and every day of your relationship, you’re not ready to be a wife.” Plain and simple.
Weddings Are Not Marriages (and Vice Versa)
GiphySo, why do so many people jump brooms (I’m writing this with Black folks in mind first; jumping brooms is for us only), only to turn around and get divorced a few years later? Oh, I could go on and on as well about how a lot of people don’t have much integrity when it comes to the promises that they make. Listen singles, when you’re dating someone, pay very close attention to whether the person you’re seeing keeps their word — and if you do the same.
It makes absolutely no sense to keep letting someone slide when it comes to reneging now, only to act shocked when they do the same thing after saying “I do.” And while we’re here, being a man or woman of your word is a character issue. Maybe folks are not strong in character when it comes to this.
Yet another reason why folks will get all dolled up, stand before God, family, and friends, look someone straight in the eye, and promise to never leave, only to do just that, is because many people honestly don’t see past their wedding (and maybe their newlywed years). That is why you will hear so many people describe their perfect wedding day, down to the last detail, and yet, if you ask what their five-year plan for their marriage is, they have absolutely not one clue.
I mean, I get it — to a certain extent. A wedding is a big party where you get to dress to the nines, have people come to celebrate you and you get to have everything go your way — down to the font on the programs and reception napkins. Oh, but what a “trick” that can be if you think that your marriage is going to move like that, all of the time, moving forward. I liken it to The Bachelor franchise. Who wouldn’t feel like they are falling for someone when they’re able to live in a mansion with no bills, have fantasy dates that cost thousands of dollars, and a big ole’ rock that a famed jeweler donates?
Meanwhile, folks should watchUnREAL (the television series from several years back where some former producers of the franchise talk about what really happens behind the scenes) to get a reality check. To a certain extent, the same thing goes for marriage: while weddings produce this belief that marriage will be one big party where everyone focuses on you and everything goes your way, that isn’t even close to being the reality of being married.
Honestly, the real deal is 1) if you don’t want to learn how to love on a supernatural level; 2) if you don’t want your strengths to be refined and your weaknesses to be challenged; 3) if you don’t want to be held accountable in ways that you would never be if you remained single; 4) if you don’t want to compromise on a daily basis and, 5) if you don’t want to be challenged to become a truly selfless individual — marriage isn’t for you.
You’d be far better off just throwing a big ass party for yourself, just because (and no, I don’t mean marry yourself; you are already “one” with you; no need for that), and call it a day. Spare yourself and another person the heartache of divorce because…divorce is A LOT to go through.
Lawd, I can only imagine how much drama could be spared if folks simply took into their spirit that weddings ARE NOT marriages and marriages ARE NOT weddings. Weddings are a party to celebrate your union — yet your union? That requires daily energy, effort, and time. It’s not a party. It’s a relationship. BIG DIFFERENCE.
Please Don’t Get Married Until You’re Sure That You Want…BOTH
GiphyAnd this is why, whenever someone tells me that they are going to get married, I don’t immediately respond with, “Congrats! That’s awesome.” NOPE. The very first thing that comes out of my mouth is something along the lines of, “For real. Why?” WHY? Because, it never fails that, about 7.5 times outta 10, folks will be caught off guard and say, “What do you mean ‘why’?” and then follow that up with, “Because I’m in love” or…they don’t really know what to say at all.
Is being in love a good answer? I mean, it explains why you picked the person that you did; it doesn’t really explain why you are choosing to commit to them for the rest of your life, on a marital level, though. Are you getting married because you know that the two of you will make each other better people? Are you getting married because you want to raise your children in a two-parent dynamic? Are you getting married for biblical reasons like wanting to love like Christ loves his bride (the Church and the Church sent him through A LOT — Ephesians 5)?
Are you getting married because you think you’ve gone as far as you can in your evolution as an individual without the assistance of another? Are you getting married because you want to serve another person as they do the same for you (perhaps not in the same ways because you’re both different people)?
Is that asking the most? Chile, that’s not asking enough. I don’t care how much people mock marriage in the media by changing partners like they change cars or homes. I don’t care how much divorce has been normalized. I don’t care how much folks like to act like a husband is a 2.0 boyfriend (it’s not) and having a wife is a 2.0 girlfriend (it’s not) — marriage is special, sacred, and needs to be honored as such. A wedding should be seen as a happy occasion where two people publicly acknowledge what I just said…not simply a time to get a lot of attention and presents only to come home and go from heaven to hell in six months.
And honestly, that’s a bit part of the reason why I do what I do: it’s because I actually think the covenant of marriage is SO MAGNIFICENT that I want to make sure that people know, as much as possible, what they are signing up for — not an endless wedding; a very real relationship that will challenge them and mature them like nothing else ever will in this lifetime.
____
This was a lot. I already know. Still, it beats spending thousands of dollars on a wedding to stand before a chaplain only to spend thousands of more dollars several years later on a divorce lawyer and therapy while standing before a judge.
Weddings are awesome; you’ll get no argument from me there. Still, I think if I was to narrow all of this down into one statement, it would simply be this: “When it comes to marriage, if the thought of being a wife doesn’t excite you more than being a bride — wait. You’re not ready yet.”
Thank me later, sis. YOU WILL.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by CoffeeAndMilk/Getty Images