The hallmark of creativity is rooted in the desire to bring ideas and spaces into the world that didn’t previously exist. Before our vision can ever become a reality, we first must see it in our hearts and minds. And at every career turn to the early stages of her award-winning podcast, Naked Beauty, that’s been Brooke DeVard Ozaydinli’s edge. “I've always gone out of my way to create things that didn't exist before,” she tells xoNecole. “I've been the person to raise my hand to say I can figure out how to do it.”
Before she became a beauty maven, DeVard was a corporate marketing specialist with a career resume stretching across some of the world’s top companies, including Ralph Lauren and Viacom. Most recently, she acted as the Creator Marketing Manager at Instagram and spearheaded the creation of the official creators' platform. “At Instagram, they didn't have an account to reach creators at scale, so I said we should launch an account so that we could reach them.”
When she first launched her beauty-centric podcast, Naked Beauty, in 2016, DeVard was led by her passion for skincare and beauty and her curiosity for untapped topics around natural hair, DIY beauty rituals, and self-care, thus creating what is now the universe of Naked Beauty Planet.
If you allow your mind to wander back to 2016, memories of “girl boss” culture and the rise of dating content might come to mind. At a time when podcasts and YouTube videos gained ground in pulling on women’s desires for love and corporate ascension, DeVard sought to create an audio experience that spoke to the curiosities of the everyday beauty lover.
“I'm all for empowerment, but I thought, is there a space to talk about the best waterproof mascara if you're going to cry all night?” she shares. That question alone has since laid the foundation to produce over 250 episodes of Naked Beauty, with a community of devoted listeners from all ages and stages of life.
“I want everyone to listen to Naked Beauty and feel like they're having a moment amongst friends,” she says. “To feel like there's that intimacy. I try to allow my guests to feel vulnerable and to share their vulnerabilities.” A guest list of which is peppered with beauty gurus and public figures like Pharrell Williams, Gabrielle Union, and John Legend gracing the mics to share their unique beauty experiences — a feat that DeVard could not have imagined.
“I was really passionate about creating authentic conversations around beauty and self-care in a way that didn't feel geared toward a particular goal, but I had no idea that it would grow as much as it has,” she recalls. “I did not see that at the beginning, but I think passion, hard work, and consistency over time always wins.”
It was these same passions, as DeVard illustrates, that led her to go against the popular adage, “Don’t quit your day job," and follow her creative nudges.
Before taking the leap into full-time creative entrepreneurship, DeVard imagined what life would look like if she truly went all in and bet on herself. “I asked myself, 'What would you do if you weren't afraid? What legacy do you want to leave behind?'” she recalls. “I have always used my time and expertise in service of other brands and companies to build up someone else's vision; but what would it look like to give 100% to my own thing?”
No longer using the “scraps” of her weekends to put towards her creative endeavors and taking failure out of the equation, she drove into her second act as full-time host of Naked Beauty in early June.
“If you are in a position where you have this feeling that you could be doing more or pouring into your own vision and business, you should listen to that,” she says. “Take the leap of faith. You're only here once, you only have one life to live. You don’t want to have that lingering feeling of, What if I had done this?”
As she embarks on a new era of her journey, walking in purpose is what’s making DeVard feel most beautiful. “I feel really beautiful in this era of my life because I feel like living in alignment with what I believe is my purpose and calling,” she says. “I think that when you are operating from this mode that feels like you're listening to your intuition and listening to your higher purpose, that's when I feel the most beautiful.”
xoNecole: What are some ways that you found helpful in building your creative team when you were first starting out?
Brooke DeVard: There are so many super-talented women that work in a corporate, medical, or tech career who have a passion and hunger to do something creative with the extra few hours they get in a week. And they just want to exercise their brain in a more creative way. I have found that if you put out a fun, creative project and ask people in your existing online community for support, you'll be blown away by how many people you would have never even considered would be able to help you.
That could be the person that could help you elevate your vision and potentially work with you part-time.
xoN: As we’ve reached a crossroads in the beauty landscape where beauty standards are being dismantled, and many Black women are embracing new cosmetic procedures, what is your take on the current state of beauty space?
BD: I used to be a little bit more judgmental about cosmetic procedures. But as I've spoken to people on the podcast that do injections and lasers and Botox and all the things, I’ve recognized that is all a beauty choice. We have agency over our bodies the same way if I want to wear red lipstick or get lip filler. I've learned that it's not about what you're “supposed” to do, it's about people being able to choose the aesthetics that they want, and people are entitled to that choice. But I do think it's very important to do your research and due diligence to know the doctor.
"I've recognized that is all a beauty choice. We have agency over our bodies the same way if I want to wear red lipstick or get lip filler. I've learned that it's not about what you're 'supposed' to do."
Photo courtesy of Brooke DeVard
xoN: What are some of the biggest challenges you've faced while building 'Naked Beauty,' and how were you able to overcome them?
BD: Being in a place where I knew I needed support, but I wasn't in a position to hire support. I do think that there's something really beautiful about that time period when you're just starting out on your creative journey, and you have to do everything. You're your own graphic designer and copywriter, but then when your team grows, you're able to brief them on exactly what you want.
There have been times when I've really needed help and wanted to expand myself in these ways, but it's all about patience and giving yourself time to grow at a rate that feels sustainable.
xoN: What advice would you give to someone who is interested in starting their own podcast or pursuing a side hustle in addition to their full-time job?
BD: I would say: just start. Don't let ‘great’ be the enemy of ‘good’ — and done is better than perfect. I think a lot of people get embarrassed about this gap between where they think they should be and where they are now. And if you're doing anything creative, your beginning product is probably not going to be great (unless you're like a prodigy). You have to just start putting yourself and your work out there.
People love to see a ‘come up’ and an evolution. It's an authentic part of your journey, so you've got to lean into those first iterations of your creative work, maybe, won’t be the best, and be okay with that. There's so much to be gained from putting yourself out there.
"People love to see a ‘come up’ and an evolution. It's an authentic part of your journey, so you've got to lean into those first iterations of your creative work, maybe, won’t be the best, and be okay with that. There's so much to be gained from putting yourself out there."
Connecting with other people and having an impact on others has to be what drives and motivates you — not looking cool, or having a certain amount of followers or vanity metrics — that's going to be the thing that allows you to open yourself up to sharing and expressing yourself. That's going to drive you versus getting it exactly perfect.
For more of Brooke, follow her on Instagram @brookedevard. Find episodes of the Naked Beauty podcast here.
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Featured image courtesy of Brooke DeVard
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Ding. Ding. DING.
A life coach by the name of Thomas Leonard once said that “Clarity affords focus” and, believe you me, when it comes to dealing with other human beings, if you don’t get clear on where you stand when it comes to your interactions with them, you can very easily find yourself “focusing too much” on those who don’t deserve it and too little on those who absolutely do. And y’all, this lil’ PSA couldn’t be more relevant than when it comes to what I call “casual friendships.”
Let’s dig — and for some of us, dig our way out of — what it means to have a casual friend, so that you can get clear on if you really need those in your life…and if so…why?
Article continues after the video.
It Can’t Be Said Enough: Always Remember What “Casual” Means
GiphyThere’s a reason why I decided to share two videos by mental health coach Isaiah Frizzle at the top and bottom of this article. It’s because a lot of what he shares in both of them complements a piece that I wrote for the platform last year entitled, “This Is Just What Purposeful Relationships Look Like.”
It’s the author M. Scott Peck who once said, “Until you value yourself, you won't value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it” and please believe that the older (and hopefully more mature) you get, the more you tend to see just how valuable — and fleeting — time is; and that is what plays a huge role in motivating you want to only involve yourself with people, places, things and ideas that will honor your time — and when something is casual? In my opinion, it’s highly debatable that it’s worth much of your months, days, hours, or even too many of your minutes.
The main reason why is addressed in an article that I wrote back in the day entitled, “We Should Really Rethink The Term 'Casual Sex.'” The gist? When it comes to relationships, “casual” is certainly not a favorite word of mine because I know what it means. Have mercy — why would you want to invest your time, energy, and emotions into something that is, by definition, apathetic, indifferent, careless, lacking emotional intimacy, and/or is without purpose?
I don’t know about y’all but that sounds like a complete and total crap shoot to me — especially if you are going to go so far as to consider this type of dynamic a true friendship (check out “Ever Wonder If A Friend Is Just...Not That Into You?,” “6 Signs You're About To Make A Huge Mistake In Making Them A Close Friend,” “5 Signs Of A Toxic Friendship That Is Secretly Poisoning Your Life,” “12 Friend Facts That Might Cause You To Rethink (Some Of) Your Own,” and “Less & Less Of Us Have Close Friends These Days. Why Is That?” ).
To me, when you decide to call someone “friend,” it means that they are loyal, reliable, consistent, trustworthy and willing to be there to support you to the very best of their ability — even if it’s inconvenient to do so sometimes (check out “Life Taught Me That True Friendships Are 'Inconvenient'”). How in the world can you expect that from something that has the word “casual” in it?
And you know what? That actually segues into my next point about casual friendships pretty darn well.
Ponder the Purpose “Casual Friends” Serve in Your Life
GiphyA couple of years ago, Verywell Mind published an article entitled, “How the 4 Types of Friendship Fit Into Your Life.” The four that it listed were acquaintances (which I actually don’t consider to be friends; check out “6 Differences Between A Close Acquaintance And An Actual Friend”), casual friends, close friends, and lifelong friends. After reading the piece, I think they consider casual friends to be the “pleasure” friends that I mentioned in the article, “According To Aristotle, We Need ‘Utility’, ‘Pleasure’ & ‘Good’ Friends.”
And although I certainly get that, I think my “cause for pause” is calling those people “friends” when they probably should be called something like an associate or possibly even a buddy instead. Why do I feel this way? Well, I’ve shared in other articles that I think social media has jacked up vocabulary words and their true meaning on a billion different levels.
Take “friend,” for example. Facebook had us out here calling everyone we connected to on their platform “friends” when some of them, we’ve never even spoken to before — and I personally think that influenced, affected and perhaps even infected our psyche to the point where we will call folks, both online and off, “friend” even when they haven’t earned it and/or who possibly don’t deserve it.
That said, do I think that we all could use lighthearted interactions that don’t go very deep and are filled with not much more than fun? Sure. However, if we were to move this over into a sexual thing — those types of people would probably be called a sneaky link, and there is nothing significant or substantial about ‘em. In fact, if anything pretty much automatically comes with an expiration date, sneaky links would have to be it.
And that’s kind of the point that I’m trying to make about a casual friend — so long as you know that the word “casual” is being used to describe them, while you may enjoy the people who fit that bill, they aren’t really anything that you can or even should fully rely on. Instead, take them for what they are and don’t really expect much more than that. Otherwise, you could be in for some profound levels of disappointment. And who wants that?
Final point.
How a Casual Friend Can Become a Huge Red Flag
GiphyI’m telling you, y’all gonna quit clowning Tubi. LOL. To me, the best way to describe it is it’s the Cricket of current streaming apps. What I mean by that is, back when Cricket (the cell phone service) first came out, people, like me, who used it service got incessantly clowned because it was seen as a bootleg provider. Now it’s owned by AT&T, and as someone who has rocked with them since I was in my 20s, I don’t have one regret for doing so. Cricket has always been good to me, chile.
And Tubi? Well, when you get a chance, check out CNBC’s article, “CEO at 33, Tubi’s Anjali Sud on success hacks she learned at Amazon, IAC on way to top of Fox streaming” — take note of the moves the streaming app is making and the quality of programming that is transpiring in real time.
Anyway, I find myself bringing up Tubi more and more in my content because it helps to amplify some of the points that I like to make. This time, it’s a movie that’s (currently) on there calledRight Man, Wrong Woman. If you haven’t seen it before, I don’t want to give too much of the film away. What I will say is that the main female character, she had a casual friend and then she had a close friend.
That casual friend—the one who liked to kick it all of the time—was a lot of fun; however, dealing with her came with a ton of semi-unforeseen consequences. Meanwhile, the close friend? She’s what the Aristotle article (that I mentioned earlier) would call the “good friend” because she tried her best to hold her friend accountable.
And really, it shouldn’t be a shock that the casual friend turned out to be a plum trip because if someone is loads of entertainment and pleasure and yet they are indifferent towards you, they make careless decisions around you and/or they don’t really make known the purpose for you being in their life other than to pass some time — where really do you and that person have to go past drinks after work or dinner on a rooftop restaurant from time to time? And if that is all that the two of you are doing, again, why are they deserving of the word “friend”?
Hmph and don’t get me started on the lack of reciprocity that typically transpires when it comes to dealing with people like this because, while they won’t mind you spending your coins on them, taking their calls in the middle of the night or listening to all of their issues — when it comes time for them to show up for you, they very well may gaslight you into thinking that you are being dramatic, clingy or “doing the most.” Why? Well, it’s mostly because the two of you never really established what the hell the both of you are to one another.
And so, while you’re somewhere taking them seriously, they are out here seeing you casually, and as much as it might hurt to hear, that doesn’t automatically or necessarily make them a bad person. You shouldn’t expect much where no clarity is involved. After all, casual is just that: CASUAL.
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I’m hoping that you can now see why I entitled this piece in the way that I did. It’s because a red flag is pretty much a warning, and to me, a casual friend is about as big of an oxymoron (again, to me) as casual sex is. Friends and sex are both too intimate to be seen or treated casually. Oh, but if you step out and take that risk, you could find yourself getting far more involved than the other individual ever wanted to go, because casual is how things have always been. “Friend” was simply to get you more mentally and emotionally invested. SMDH.
American columnist Walter Winchell once said, “A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.” A wise person once said, “One good friendship will outlive forty average loves." Former President Ulysses S. Grant once said, “The friend in my adversity I shall always cherish most. I can better trust those who helped to relieve the gloom of my dark hours than those who are so ready to enjoy with me the sunshine of my prosperity.” Does any of this sound casual to you? Yeah, me neither.
Again, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t have people in your life who aren’t on deep levels. I’m just saying that you might want to consider putting them into another category than friend, because what friends do for people? There ain’t nothin’ even remotely casual about it, sis. Not even a lil’ bit.
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