Even though I’ve been rockin’ an H-cup for quite some time now, it’s still funny when I haven’t seen someone in a while, and they try and not low-key gasp when they take me all in with their eyes. I get it — kind of. I mean, if the last time you saw me was when I was in my 20s, it is quite a shift that’s transpired as far as my upper region goes. Plus, whenever I look down at these bad boys, I only see half of my breasts. And since they don’t feel heavy at all (not sure why but…), it’s not until I’m in a full-length mirror that I get that they are pretty, well, let’s go with “wondrous” to behold.
I ain’t complaining. The women on my father’s side of the family bestowed them upon me. What I will say, though, is when you’re a card-carrying member of the Over D-Cup and Up Club, “to whom much is given, much is required” is quite the understatement. Over the years, I’ve had to learn how to take good and then better care of my girls. And what I’ve learned, through a bit of trial and error, are the following 15 things.
If you’re in the club with me, hopefully, you’ll learn a hack or two that can make your breasts more of a blessing and less of a burden (if that’s how they’ve been making you feel as of late).
1. Get Fitted for Bras on an Annual Basis
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Listen, again, as someone who wears a 38H, I already know that this one will probably cause some of you to roll your eyes, yet the reality is that bra experts say that we all (regardless of size) need to have no less than 4-6 bras that we rotate and then replace every 6-12 months. Can that get to be expensive? When you’ve got large girls, yes. At the same time, that’s why getting professionally fitted, yes, on an annual basis, is such a wise move.
Not only can you make sure that you are the same size as before (listen, I jumped from a C-cup to an H-cup in my 30s), but you can also discover brands that may work better for you than the ones you currently wear; ones that might be cheaper. My recommendation? Consider Wacoal. The price point is not super ridiculous; they fit comfortably, and they’ve got some that don’t look boring and bland (y’all know what I mean). Plus, you can oftentimes find pretty good sales on sites like Amazon.
2. Avoid Synthetic Bras
Before the article is over, we’ll talk about breasts and yeast infections. A few years back, I had a DOOZY of one underneath my left breast, and a part of the reason was that I was constantly wearing bras that were made out of synthetic fabrics like rayon, nylon, and spandex (or a blend) instead of “breathable bras” like cotton or silk.
We all know that bras stay on for literally hours at a time, and when you’re a D+ woman, that’s a lot of flesh that’s tucked away in them. The less sweat and moisture that’s trapped up in your bras, the more your skin will ultimately thank you for it. So, unless you’re trying to be sexy for a few minutes, leave synthetic bras alone.
3. Buy an “Asymmetrical-Friendly” Bra
I once read that a whopping 90 percent of women have some sort of “unevenness” when it comes to their breasts. Why is that the case? It’s because we all have two sides of our body that are more like sisters than twins. That’s why you might not have identical eyebrows no matter how hard you try to shape them, or one eye, hand, or foot might be slightly larger than the other.
There’s nothing wrong with any of this, yet if your breasts do have you feeling a bit self-conscious, there are some bras that are designed to give the appearance that things are “balanced out.” T-shirt bras, plunge bras, and balconette bras all fit the bill. The bra expert who helps to fit you for new bras should be able to give you some suggestions, too.
4. Pay Attention to Your (Natural) Estrogen Consumption
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Back when my breasts were “doing the most” as far as growth goes, because I was no longer in puberty, I did ask my doctor (at the time) what the hell was going on. One thing was genetics. Another? My diet. Just like birth control can make your breasts bigger due, in part, to the level of estrogen that is in them, phytoestrogens can do the same thing. What are those? In the context of what I’m talking about, they’re foods that have plant-based estrogen in them.
So, if you’re a big fan of foods like plums, pears, apples, grapes, cabbage, spinach, tofu, garlic, onions, or beans, you are taking a form of estrogen into your system — and that could be playing a direct role into why your breasts seem to be getting larger. The bottom line here? Don’t overdo anything. Keep it all in balance.
5. Always Wear a Sports Bra While Working Out
Something that I’ve had to accept over here at the big age that I am is if I want my breasts to remain looking as youthful as they did when I was in my 20s and 30s, I’m going to have to exercise more often. If you’re slowly starting to surrender to that fact as well, please make sure that you invest in a sports bra for ample support. You are going to be absolutely miserable if you’re trying to get your run on or do some push-ups if the girls are flying and flopping all over the place. If you’d like a few tips on where to get a great sports bra, check out Women’s Health’s article, “The 19 Best Sports Bras for Women With Big Boobs.”
6. Build Up Your Pectoral Muscles
Speaking of a good sports bra for exercising, no matter what size your breasts may be, they are guaranteed to lose elastin over time; that’s just the way life is. If you want to keep them looking perky — or at least, perkier — without going under the knife, developing your pectoral muscles is the way to go. If you want to incorporate this more into your own workout routine, check out Women’s Health’s “The 20 Best Chest Exercises To Add To Your Upper-Body Workouts, According To A Trainer” and Shape’s “The Best Chest Workout for Women.” I’m telling you, every time I focus on my pecs, my breasts (and bustline) always look fuller. Never fails.
7. Watch Your Alcohol Intake
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Some things aren’t shared with you in order to make you paranoid; some things are just a reminder to do (most) things in moderation. And that’s where this point about alcohol comes in. While, on one hand, alcohol comes with some health benefits (check out “10 Ways Alcohol Can Be Good For You Past A Great Buzz”), the flip side is it can increase your chances of being diagnosed with breast cancer. How? Well, alcohol can cause an uptick in your estrogen levels, and when that happens, not only could it lead to larger breasts, but there’s a chance that it could increase your chances of breast cancer, too. Again, that’s nothing to get super worried about; it’s simply something to take special note of.
8. Massage Your Breasts on a Weekly Basis
I’m thinking that you already know that you should be conducting routine breast self-examinations every 7-10 days after your period starts. Yet if you also want to improve the appearance of your breasts, performing a breast massage on a weekly basis is a really good idea, too. It increases blood flow to your breasts, helps to increase elasticity to the skin and it can also help them to sag less. Just apply a carrier oil like olive or sweet almond and gently rub in a circular motion for about half of a 30-minute sitcom. You should notice a difference in how they appear within a month or so.
9. DIY Some Cornstarch Pads
Boob sweat. Sometimes, especially during the hotter seasons, it’s unavoidable; that’s the bad news. The good news is that you can combat it naturally with the help of some homemade cornstarch pads. It’s simple. Just sprinkle some cornstarch on a few make-up pads and place the pads underneath each of your breasts after putting on your bra. Not only is cornstarch a highly effective way to absorb excess moisture, but it also contains amino acids that will help keep the collagen and elastin in your breasts strong and healthy.
10. Invest in an Essential Oil Collection
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Something that I’m super thankful for is I don’t have many stretch marks, really anywhere, but definitely not only my breasts. There’s nothing wrong with those either; all they are is the result of your skin stretching out further and/or faster than the elasticity in your skin is able to accommodate. If this is your personal testimony (especially if it’s due to pregnancy, which made your breast sizes jump a few cups), something that can help is to apply argan, lavender, neroli, pomegranate, or frankincense (that’s been mixed with a carrier oil like coconut, sweet almond or grapeseed oil) to them on a daily basis. Not only will this help with the elasticity of your skin, but it can make your breasts appear softer and more supple as well.
11. Use Hemp Oil or Mango Butter for Itchy Skin
With big breasts comes more skin to maintain. So, if itchiness is what you’re dealing with, it could be due to dry skin, eczema or psoriasis, or your breast skin stretching out. Two things that can help with any of these reasons are hemp oil or mango butter. Hemp oil can reduce skin inflammation as it deeply moisturizes. Mango butter is full of Vitamin A and fatty acids that will not only hydrate your skin, it will also soften the appearance of stretch marks and help to keep your breasts looking younger. For a lot of reasons, I’ve been a fan of mango butter for years. Personally, I like to whip up a batch of my own. You can check out a quick YT video on how to DIY some for yourself here.
12. Have Some Anti-Fungal Cream on Tap
Okay, something I must admit that I used to have a habit of doing is, whenever I would bathe or shower, although I would lift up my breasts to wash the skin that’s underneath them, I wasn’t exactly looking at what was going on under there — and I should’ve. One day, it was feeling so itchy and raw that I stood in the mirror and was damn near horrified. Why? Because I had a purple ring that was shiny and looked slightly sweaty. It was a yeast infection.
Yep, contrary to what a lot of people think, you can experience an overgrowth of yeast just about anywhere. Mine was so bad that I had to take an antibiotic to clear everything up (look up under there at least twice a week, y’all!); however, if you start to notice some itchiness or redness and your skin doesn’t look raw (just like it has some “sheen” to it), applying the same kind of antifungal that you would if you had a vaginal yeast infection can help to get rid of a breast yeast infection fairly quickly. Yep. A tube of Monistat is a must-have for women with big breasts.
13. Try Some Red Clover Extract
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Whether you’re in menopause or perimenopause, something all-natural that can help to bring some relief is red clover extract. Word on the street is that it’s great at reducing hot flashes, decreasing depression-related symptoms, and also helping with vaginal dryness — all of which can transpire as your body is shifting into menopause.
Since it’s also a solid remedy for improving the texture of both your hair as well as your skin, I just thought I would put it on record for this article too, especially if your nipples feel rougher or drier than usual.
14. Don’t Wear Bras While You’re at Home
To be totally candid, the debate of whether or not you should wear a bra is one that we’ll probably not come to a full agreement on while the earth continues to spin, especially when you’re a D-cup or above. The reason why I’m personally Team No Bra when you’re at home is because there is scientific evidence to back up the fact that, by not constantly suppressing your breasts in a bra, that can make it easier for collagen to flow through them, and that can help your breasts to ultimately look and feel firmer.
So, as long as having your girls “run wild and free” doesn’t hurt your back or feel uncomfortable, in general, give them a break when you walk in the door from work. The paranoia about that leading to sagging? You’d have to go much longer than you think (hours and hours for months on end) for that to be a major cause of concern.
15. Avoid Sleeping on Your Stomach (As Much As Possible)
Even though sleeping on your stomach may feel comfortable, did you know that it doesn’t actually have any solid health benefits to it? In fact, according to many sleep experts, other than reducing snoring, it can ultimately do your body more harm than good, especially since it has the tendency to totally throw your spine out of whack. Something else that it can do is cause your breasts' ligaments to stretch out, which, along with aging, breastfeeding, menopause, obesity, and collagen deficiencies, can also cause less firmness in the breasts. So, if you want to keep the big girls sitting up as much as possible, sleeping on your side or back is best.
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Having a lot of breasts comes with a lot, no doubt. As you can see, though, with some knowledge and implemented TLC, they can always be seen as a blessing and not a curse. Take care of your girls — you’ll never regret taking the extra steps to ensure that they are…good.
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So, we handpicked one hundred It Girls who embody that palpable It Factor moving through us as young Black women, the kind of motion lighting up the world both IRL and across the internet.
It Girl 100 became xoNecole’s most successful program, with the hashtag organically reaching more than forty million impressions on Instagram in just twenty-four hours. Yes, it caught on like wildfire because we celebrated some of the most brilliant and influential GenZennial women of color setting trends and shaping culture. But more than that, it resonated because the women we celebrated felt seen.
Many were already known in their industries for keeping this generation fly and lit, but rarely received recognition or flowers. It Girl 100 became a safe space to be uplifted, and for us as Black women to bask in what felt like an era of our brilliance, beauty, and boundless influence on full display.
And then, almost overnight, it was as if the rug was pulled from under us as Black women, as the It Girls of the world.
Our much-needed, much-deserved season of ease and soft living quickly metamorphosed into a time of self-preservation and survival. Our motion and economic progression seemed strategically slowed, our light under siege.
The air feels heavier now. The headlines colder. Our Black girl magic is being picked apart and politicized for simply existing.
With that climate shift, as we prepare to launch our second annual It Girl 100 honoree list, our team has had to dig deep on the purpose and intention behind this year’s list. Knowing the spirit of It Girl 100 is about motion, sauce, strides, and progression, how do we celebrate amid uncertainty and collective grief when the juice feels like it is being squeezed out of us?
As we wrestled with that question, we were reminded that this tension isn’t new. Black women have always had to find joy in the midst of struggle, to create light even in the darkest corners. We have carried the weight of scrutiny for generations, expected to be strong, to serve, to smile through the sting. But this moment feels different. It feels deeply personal.
We are living at the intersection of liberation and backlash. We are learning to take off our capes, to say no when we are tired, to embrace softness without apology.
And somehow, the world has found new ways to punish us for it.
In lifestyle, women like Kayla Nicole and Ayesha Curry have been ridiculed for daring to choose themselves. Tracee Ellis Ross was labeled bitter for speaking her truth about love. Meghan Markle, still, cannot breathe without critique.
In politics, Kamala Harris, Letitia James, and Jasmine Crockett are dragged through the mud for standing tall in rooms not built for them.
In sports, Angel Reese, Coco Gauff, and Taylor Townsend have been reminded that even excellence will not shield you from racism or judgment.
In business, visionaries like Diarrha N’Diaye-Mbaye and Melissa Butler are fighting to keep their dreams alive in an economy that too often forgets us first.
Even our icons, Beyoncé, Serena, and SZA, have faced criticism simply for evolving beyond the boxes society tried to keep them in.
From everyday women to cultural phenoms, the pattern is the same. Our light is being tested.
And yet, somehow, through it all, we are still showing up as that girl, and that deserves to be celebrated.
Because while the world debates our worth, we keep raising our value. And that proof is all around us.
This year alone, Naomi Osaka returned from motherhood and mental health challenges to reach the semifinals of the US Open. A’ja Wilson claimed another MVP, reminding us that beauty and dominance can coexist. Brandy and Monica are snatching our edges on tour. Kahlana Barfield Brown sold out her new line in the face of a retailer that had been canceled. And Melissa Butler’s company, The Lip Bar, is projecting a forty percent surge in sales.
We are no longer defining strength by how much pain we can endure. We are defining it by the unbreakable light we continue to radiate.
We are the women walking our daily steps and also continuing to run solid businesses. We are growing in love, taking solo trips, laughing until it hurts, raising babies and ideas, drinking our green juice, and praying our peace back into existence.
We are rediscovering the joy of rest and realizing that softness is not weakness, it is strategy.
And through it all, we continue to lift one another. Emma Grede is creating seats at the table. Valeisha Butterfield has started a fund for jobless Black women. Arian Simone is leading in media with fearless conviction. We are pouring into each other in ways the world rarely sees but always feels.
So yes, we are in the midst of societal warfare. Yes, we are being tested. Yes, we are facing economic strain, political targeting, and public scrutiny. But even war cannot dim a light that is divinely ours.
And we are still shining.
And we are still softening.
And we are still creating.
And we are still It.
That is the quiet magic of Black womanhood, our ability to hold both truth and triumph in the same breath, to say yes, and to life’s contradictions.
It is no coincidence that this year, as SheaMoisture embraces the message “Yes, And,” they stand beside us as partners in celebrating this class of It Girls. Because that phrase, those two simple words, capture the very essence of this moment.
Yes, we are tired. And we are still rising.
Yes, we are questioned. And we are the answer.
Yes, we are bruised. And we are still beautiful.
This year’s It Girl 100 is more than a list. It is a love letter to every Black woman who dares to live out loud in a world that would rather she whisper. This year’s class is living proof of “Yes, And,” women who are finding ways to thrive and to heal, to build and to rest, to lead and to love, all at once.
It is proof that our joy is not naive, our success not accidental. It is the reminder that our light has never needed permission.
So without further ado, we celebrate the It Girl 100 Class of 2025–2026.
We celebrate the millions of us who keep doing it with grace, grit, and glory.
Because despite it all, we still shine.
Because we are still her.
Because we are still IT, girl.
Meet all 100 women shaping culture in the It Girl 100 Class of 2025. View the complete list of honorees here.
Featured image by xoStaff
Apparently, there was a Thanksgiving episode that featured all of the friends having dinner together. And y’all, there was simply no way that I was going to mention the latter without shouting out the original (amen?).
Okay, so with that out of the way — Friendsgiving. Something that I appreciate about twists to holidays like this is that it’s a reminder that there is no one way to celebrate special occasions. And so, if, for whatever the reason, you will not or cannot be with family during the holiday season, there are certainly other alternatives at your disposal.
That being said, if the thought of spending time with friends this Thanksgiving is something that you’d like to do, yet you’re not sure how to host it in a way that will make Friendsgiving a fan favorite for your entire circle — I’ve got 10 suggestions that can make the planning process easy as pumpkin (or sweet potato) pie.
1. Position Chrysanthemums or Orchids for Your Table Décor
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Let’s start with décor first. Listen, aside from cleaning up your place, you don’t have to be over the top. If you put together a really nice centerpiece or put a flower at each table setting, honestly, you’re all good. And if you’re someone who is big on details and symbolism, my recommendation would be to go with some chrysanthemums and/or orchids.
When it comes to chrysanthemums, not only are they a peak fall flower, they represent things like friendship and happiness. And orchids? They tend to bloom during the fall and spring seasons and, not only are they about luxury, certain orchid colors also symbolize friendship (for the record, yellow roses symbolize friendship too). Perfect.
2. Incorporate Scents That Cultivate Gratitude
Speaking of cultivating a warm and inviting space, you can never go wrong with scented soy candles — or at least having an essential oil diffuser in a few spots. Some scents that actually help to bring in the spirit of gratitude include vanilla, jasmine, ginger, cedarwood and frankincense.
3. Use Upscale Paper Products to Dine With
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Let’s be real — a lot more of us would probably host events in our home if it wasn’t for the mess that is left behind in our kitchen once the festivities are over. Wanna avoid that? Use paper plates. No, I don’t mean the cheap Styrofoam ones. SMDH. These days, there are paper (and plastic) plate brands that will low-key blow your mind when it comes to how bougie they look. Some that are worth considering are located here, here and here.
4. Handwrite Thank-You Notes (Use Them As Place Settings)
If you’re like Tiffany (from the HBO series Insecure — what a time) was at that memorable dinner party when all hell broke loose between Lawrence and Issa and you’re pretty anal — I mean, particular — LOL — about place settings, it’s a nice touch to pick up some blank thank-you cards that you can write a personalized “I’m thankful for you because…” message in. Place each one where you’d like each friend to sit. They won’t see it coming and it’s a really nice touch.
5. Have Everyone Bring Their Favorite Homemade Dish
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Okay, and what if what has you on the fence about hosting is you don’t feel like doing a ton of cooking? Chile, this is where the concept of having a potluck comes in. Get everyone to bring the dish that they claim they cook the best and make sure to let them know how many individuals you plan on coming (so that they will make enough). You can even make a game out of it by having everyone anonymously vote for the first, second and third best dishes out of the bunch. Take it up a notch by having a prize for each winner.
6. Take a Warm Drink and Dessert Poll Beforehand
You know what isn’t discussed enough about dinner parties? Folks bringing desserts that other people don’t even like. SMDH. You can avoid this from becoming an issue at your Friendsgiving by sending an email (most people prefer that to group chats; let’s be real — and make sure to BCC everyone as well) asking everyone to share what their top three favorite desserts and warm drinks are. Then pick the top 2-3 out of the bunch. That way, you won’t have a ton of (for instance) coffee cake or apple cider lying around that no one even wanted in the first place.
7. Create a Signature Friendsgiving Mocktail and Cocktail
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Speaking of drinks, another way to make your Friendsgiving memorable is to come up with a signature mocktail (for those who don’t consume alcohol) and cocktail. For the mocktail, you can also poll your friends about their favorite mocktail or fruits and come up with a mixture of your own. For the cocktail — although National Friendship Day is actually in August, I did peep that there are certain drinks that have been created in its honor. Some of them are located here for you to do a bit of tweaking on (if you’d like).
8. Ask Everyone to Share Their “Favorite Friend Quality” of Another
You know how it’s customary for everyone to go around and share what they are truly thankful for before having dinner? Well, to continue along with the Friendsgiving theme, have each person share what their favorite friend quality is about the person to their right. If folks are just meeting each other for the first time, instead they can share what they value the most in friendship overall, along with a story of how it was displayed to them personally over the past 12 months.
9. Send Each of Your Guests Home with a Fresh Gratitude Journal
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Wanna send folks home with a nice parting gift? It would be so on-trend to give each of them a gratitude journal. Listen, we are in some crazy times right through here (at least in the States) and so, encouraging your friends to set some time aside, regularly, to think about and then outwardly express what they are grateful for? That helps to keep stress down, keep things in perspective and it reminds us all to maintain a positive mindset as much as possible.
10. Watch a Nostalgic Movie
While everyone is enjoying dessert and drinks, how about watching a movie that brings back fond memories? A list of some of the most popular movies to come out previous Thanksgiving weekends is located here and a list of some favorite Black holiday-themed films can be found here. It’s a way to wind down and share some laughs before everyone heads home.
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Friendsgiving. What a wonderful way to celebrate your friends while also observing Thanksgiving in a way that is totally on your terms. And now that you know how to put it together, what are you waiting for? Hit your friends up and let them know that, whether it’s on actual Thanksgiving Day or a few days before or after, you’ve got a special dinner in mind.
One that has a good time with amazing friends written ALL over it.
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